The Journey, not the Destination
by Xena Avenger
Summary: An epically long fic. What happens in is? Starts with Angel fighting the dragon and Buffy helping deal with the consequences. Story begins at the end of 'Angel, Not Fade Away.' Buffy/Angel
1. The First step is always the hardest

Disclaimer: My name is Amy, so not Joss Whedon, thus I own nothing but the characters I create. I do not, however, claim responsibility for their actions. This is posted merely for entertainment, well since truthfully, I'm not a writer and no one would pay for this. ;)

Spoilers: Not really, only through season 5. I began this story before watching the end of season 5, but I changed a few things to better fit. If I missed something just go with it, it's creativity. I've read the comics but they don't exist in here.

...

This is just the first part of an epically huge fanfic I've been adding to for years. I personally hate when people publish an awesome story and never update, or ask for loads of feedback as ransom for more. I'm not really sure why I'm uploading, must be because this story is 203 pages (single space 12 font) and I feel like it needs a purpose. People reading and enjoying is a purpose I can life with.

May 20, 2004 - The First step is always the hardest

Prequel:

Twenty minutes after the first sword swing, the dragon swooped down from the black night sky and breathed a wall of flames towards Angel, and involuntarily, the small army surrounding him. The vampire saw the flash of light at the last second and rolled safely away; but he couldn't even spare a moment to see if Spike or Illyria managed to dodge in time.

Thankfully Lorne hadn't shown in the alley, he wasn't build for this kind of fighting. Gunn had fallen ten minutes ago, and Wesley had fallen at the hands of Cyrus Vail.

'_At least they didn't have to worry about anything anymore_.' Angel would mourn both, if he survived long enough himself.

Another swoop from the creature and Angel readied himself, as soon as the beast was close; he jumped up and grabbed a hold of the dragon's back right leg. They both sailed up into the night sky, Angel hanging on like a tattered flag blowing in a heavy wind.

...

Illyria's blue eyes scanned the ground, her distant expression masked by blood and gore, that which was soon washed away due to the heavy downpour. "I wished to do violence; these creatures offered no resistance as I destroyed them. They were a vast disappointment."

Spike leaned heavily against the brick wall in the alley, his body covered in various cuts and more than a few holes. "I'll be sure to let you handle the next wave then, Blue. Save myself the trouble. Won't be long now, can hear the sound of…Bloody Hell!" Spike yelled as he pulled his soggy cigarettes from what was left of his leather trench coat. "Sodden smokes are…well sodden. Always fancied a smoke after a tumble, the nicotine really brings out the taste of the blood. Not that I could drink any of this swill." He commented toeing one of the many puddles of various demon bloods pooling at his booted feet.

Illyria started at him a moment, then looked away, '_It is not worth my words'_.

Spike cast a glance up at the sky, "Hey speakin of swill, where the hell is that bloody poof? Was lookin' forward to seein' that ponce get eaten."

Illyria ignored the half-breed; she had no concern about it or the others; her mind was elsewhere now. She looked down at the hands of her shell, the hands that one Winifred Burkle was born with and died with, and now belonged to Illyria.

They would be stained red with blood, if the rain did not rinse them clean every few seconds. However, Illyria could still feel the blood, smell the repugnant odors that filled this world now, everything she knew was gone. Her kingdom, her Qwa'ha Xahn, priests, followers, and slaves…lastly her Wesley was dead.

'_My jailer, Drogyn, was correct. The time of Illyria is past; this world is no longer fit to sustain my presence. This game I play is still pointless, it still annoys me…though I am no longer as compelled to play on.'_

Bright blue irises focused on the vampire as he continued to struggle lighting the ruined cigarettes. "I have grown weary of this battle; I am no longer compelled to play. I shall return to the Deeper Well, to prevent anymore of my brethren from being contaminated by the plague the muck has become." She turned from him and began to walk down the alley.

Spike looked startled a moment than ran after her, "Hey now Smurfette, what's gotten into you? Just goin' to prance off without so much as a goodbye? Come now, Blue. We all got our issues, but we don't run from 'em…we fight 'em…"

Illyria held up a hand to silence him, "Your words fall on deaf ears, my mind cannot be swayed. I have no place in this world; it is no longer suitable for me. From the Well I shall wait, sleep until the stench of humanity is but dust on the wind, then, I shall arise again, and this world will belong to me once more."

Just then, a horde of demons ran down the alley, the last wave of Wolfram & Hart's army. Spike got ready for action, but Illyria stepped in his path. "One final act of violence before I rest." She said as she charged the horde.

Illyria moved at a mind mumbling speed, demon pieces rained down along with the steady downpour.

'_For Wesley_.'

Within mere minutes, the last of the army was nothing save scattered meat piles. She turned to the white-haired vampire, "If it is closure you seek half-breed…then Goodbye."

Before Spike could argue further, Illyria raised her arms in front of her, hands sparking bright blue energy, she moved her arms back quickly; a second later she was gone.

Spike stood staring at the spot she just vacated, then turned his blue eyes to the piles of demon debris she left behind, "Right…now there's somethin' you don't see everyday."

...

Almost 5am

Buffy felt a shadow pass over her, a moment later a huge creature flew overhead, leaving a trail of smoke streaking across the bright night sky. The dragon roared, sending a plume of fire shooting over its back.

Buffy squinted at the flash from the flame, "Did the dragon just set its own back on fire?" she asked the watcher by her side.

"Yes, it would appear so." He replied, just as baffled as the slayer.

She looked closer when she saw a flash of metal glinting in the moonlight between the dragon's flapping wings.

"O…my…God" she said as her eyes grew wide, "Angel" she whispered.

"Huh? What? Where?" Giles stuttered looking around.

"Angel…he's…riding the dragon" Buffy said to him with disbelief thick on her tongue and pointing at the flying beast.

"O my" he whispered following her point, his expression of shock matching hers.

"We need to help him!" Buffy exclaimed looking around desperately for something, _anything_ to use as a weapon against the beast. "How do we kill a dragon?" she asked her watcher as she searched.

"Uh...well….honestly Buffy, I haven't the slightest clue." He said removing his glasses and wiping the spotless lenses on his shirt.

She stopped and stared at him, "What? But you're…you're Giles! You're supposed to know this stuff!" She outraged.

"Buffy, dragons are mythical creatures, like unicorns, they are not included in the occult texts. They only exist in fictional stories." He tried to explain to her as he rested the glasses on his ears and nose.

"Try telling that to the dragon, you know….the one right there." she gestured into the air.

...

Angel gripped the scales like his life depended on it, and near as he could tell, it did. _'_

_This thing is impossible,'_ he thought, '_a dragon! Really? Now I have seen everything..._'

He loosened his right hand and reached for his sword, if he dropped it…game over. Once pulling it free of his belt, he raised it and quickly plunged downwards with all his strength.

The sword tip glanced off like hitting cement. Angel tumbled sideways, he hadn't expected the blow to bounce off, and loosing his leverage he rolled towards the beating wings. He reached his hand out and managed to steady his fall by rapping an arm around the wing.

The dragon turned its head at him, red eyes glaring; it had had enough of this tiny creature crawling on his back. The creature inhaled, smoke billowing from its nostrils, and prepared to send another plume of flame at the parasite. Angel's eyes widened as he realized he was about to become BBQ. "Oh Shit" he mouthed as the dragon exhaled a wall of flames at him.

The fire rushed towards the vampire, sending a burning wave of heat at him, so he did the only thing he could, he let go…and fell.

He figured he had maybe 15 seconds before he hit the ground, maybe less. But he didn't get the chance to find out. Pain exploded in his torso as the dragon snatched him from the air into its jaws. Teeth plunged into his chest and back, causing him to scream out into the night sky.

_'This damn thing thinks it's going to eat me' _his mind raced. "Sorry pal, vamps not on the menu" Angel yelled threw gritted teeth as he swung the sword he still gripped in his right hand. "Now you see me" he taunted then stabbed the sword into the creatures staring red eye, "Now you don't."

...

Buffy grabbed her head and started to pace, "Ok I've seen lots of movie with dragons…we can…pierce the heart, cut off the head…"

"Stab it in the eye…"Giles added looking up.

"Yeah, that could work" Buffy agreed.

"No Buffy look" He indicated. As she looked up she saw the dragon thrashing in the air, Angel's sword penetrating its eye.

...

They all heard the dragon roar in pain and rage, Angel's perspective gave him complete surround sound. He had hoped the dragon's tight crushing bite would loosen but it didn't, it was determined to hold its prize to the death. In response, he twisted the sword deeper into the eye, breaking through the thick skull and piercing the brain. "Let go!" He demanded.

The dying creature responded by inhaling. Angel felt the heat rising towards him, "Shit, Shit, Shit" he panicked. He let go of the stuck blade and gripped the dragon's jaws and with all his strength pulled them apart. He felt the teeth slide from his body and grunted in pain. He fought back unconsciousness; he didn't have that luxury at the moment.

A second later the flames rushed at him, he managed to roll from the beasts jaws, and use his leather coat to shield his face from the fire. Next he knew, his left hand was scorched, his punctures throbbed, and he was falling.

He felt weightless as he fell, the world rushed closer, his city reaching up to break his fall, and it did.

Angel slammed into a parked car, crushing the roof into nothing, and then bounced off onto the pavement. The car alarm sounded weakly then died.

Had he been human, every bone in his body would have broken, being a vampire had its advantages, and only half were broken.

He didn't try to move, he managed to open his eyes long enough to see the dragon's corpse slam into earth, satisfied it was dead, he let the darkness take him.

...

"ANGEL!" Buffy screamed when she saw the dragon jaws clamped around him, seconds later a flash of fire, then Angel falling to the ground.

She ran towards him, horrified at the crunching sound his body made as it hit a car. She knelt beside him, rolling him onto his back, tears freely flowing down her cheeks as she discovered his injuries. "Angel? Can you hear me?" she whispered touching his cheek, as her eyes traced the puncture wounds, and the burnt skin of his left hand.

Giles reached them a few moments later, not having the speed or adrenaline of the slayer.

"Is he going to…?" She asked him, looking at the fallen vampire, terrified he would turn to dust under her touch.

"I…I don't think so. When a vampire expires it tends to be rather immediately. The fact he even hit the ground is a good indication he'll live…well, exist rather."

Buffy felt a small sliver of relief, but not enough to satisfy her. She glanced up at the sky and felt a stab of fear rush up her spine, the reddening of the horizon indicated the sun was rising. "Giles, the sun! We need to get him inside, Now!" She grabbed the prone vampire's shoulders and when Giles positioned himself at Angel's feet, they lifted.

Angel gasped and twitched in unconscious pain as his body was moved. Buffy felt his bones grind beneath her hands, "I'm sorry, we have to move you" she whispered to him, keeping a tight grip so he didn't fall as they walked him into a nearby building.

The building was a three story tenement, it still looked moderately sound after the earthquake, and the front door was standing open. The best part, it was currently abandoned…so no invitation required.

They quickly carried Angel inside and into the bottom floor apartment, placing him on the closest bed. Giles sighed in relief once the vampire was settled, "He's rather heavy" Giles panted. Buffy shrugged, "He's mostly muscle." Giles raised a brow at the remark but didn't comment.

They were quiet for a few minutes, closing blinds, checking out the place, seeing what they could use and couldn't. Buffy came from another bedroom and was tearing a sheet into strips, "Giles, can you go find some supplies? First aid stuff, food, water…blood?"

He cringed at the last request, "Yes, he will need to feed, with that much damage to his body; I gather he'll need quite a bit actually."

Buffy nodded her understanding, "Hurry?" She asked. He nodded and turned to go. "There's a butcher shop two blocks away between 23rd and 24th, try there first." He nodded and disappeared into the morning sun.

She turned her attention back to the unconscious vampire lying in the next room. He hadn't awakened yet, nor had he showed any signs of healing. She remembered his wounds used to begin healing almost immediately.

As gently as she could, she peeled off his ruined shirt and punctured coat and cleaned the wounds with water she found in the fridge; with the power out, most everything else inside was spoiled. She wiped what little blood was left around the wounds and did her best wrapping a damp strip of sheet around the burn.

She noticed more than a few already healed and half-healed injuries, indicating he had been fighting for a while before the dragon.

His skin had begun to bruise, turning his chest and arms into a black and red checker board. "You're going to be ok," she whispered repeatedly to the unconscious man lying prone next to her, more for her own comfort than his.

6:30am

Almost an hour later Giles returned with a sack over his shoulder and a large paper bag in his arms. He handed Buffy the paper bag when she met his at the door, and shrugged the sack onto the kitchen table. "Hey, it's Old Saint Nick." she punned, more of habit than anything, "Stealing from the abandoned, giving to the poorly equipped."

"Ha. ha." he said mirthlessly. He opened the sack and pulled out a bottle of burn cream and some proper bandages. Then a few first aid kits, and a variety of canned food and water.

"Congrats Giles, you're a looter" she said as she surveyed the stock and gave him a weak smile.

"Yes well, turns out the city is rather devoid of people at the moment. Made acquiring goods rather easy." He noticed the stove was gas and began to rummaging threw the cabinets for a pan, "I'm going to make tea and some breakfast, interested?" he asked.

"Maybe later" she replied, "Angel's not healing. I think something's wrong." She quickly picked up the medical supplies in her free hand and headed back into the vampire's room.

Giles followed, "Try the blood," he commented, "It should activate his healing." She nodded and closed the door behind her. Giles wasn't upset at being closed out, he had little interest is seeing the vampire feed, and decided to get back to his own stomach's needs.

Buffy dropped the med supplies on the bureau and placed the bag on the floor. She opened it and lifted out one of four quart sized containers of blood and placed it on the nightstand. She pulled Angel as upright against the headboard as she could without grinding his bandaged but shattered ribs. She grabbed a few towels from the joined bathroom and emptied a mug of water from the nightstand down the sink.

She put the towels on Angel's chest, to minimize the mess if he didn't swallow the blood. She filled the mug with the red liquid and brought it to his lips, "Come on Angel, breakfast time." He didn't respond. "Hmm...You're not going to make this easy are you?" she questioned the prone vamp.

She sat next to him on the bed, with one hand she pulled down his jaw, and with the other poured in a little blood.

He responded by coughing.

She pulled back and wiped up the crimson trail that spilled down him chin. "Oh come on, you don't breathe, so you can't choke" she reasoned. She brought the mug to his lips, "Try again?" she asked.

This time he drank, not really conscious, but driven by instinct.

She sat with him for almost an hour, getting him to down as much blood as he could, which turned out to be two and a half quarts worth. When he finally refused more, she carefully laid him back down and wiped the drips from his chin.

Buffy wished he had regained consciousness, but felt better when she saw his wounds had begun to heal, and the bruises starting to fade. "You'll be good as new in no time." She told him with hope. Satisfied with his progress, she stepped out to stretch her legs and see what Giles was doing.

7:30am

Giles was sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of tea in his hand, an empty bowl next to him, and reading from a pile of newspapers; getting the full story 'as far as the media were concerned' about what had been happening in L.A for the last few weeks.

He looked up when he saw her come in, "Ah, Buffy. How is he?" He asked, more for her sake than his.

She frowned, "He hasn't woken up yet, but he's healing anyways. Took two and a half quarts to jump start him."

"Yes…understandable." He nodded, sighing inwardly at her analogy choice. "There is more soup if you're hungry." He indicated towards the pot on the stove.

"Sure, why not." She grinned, realizing she was starving. "Let me just go wash up."

A few minutes later, Buffy was sitting at the table with her own bowl, barely tasting the chicken soup as it disappeared off her spoon. He placed some bread on the table and she eagerly snatched a piece, "Ooo Carbs, a slayers best friend" she said as she dipped it in her soup then swallowed it down.

"I'll go keep an eye on him, finish your meal and get some rest Buffy; you've been under substantial stress since before we left Rome." Giles said to her, concerned about his slayer's health.

She looked up at him and smiled at the concern, "Ok but only for a little while, I'll be an hour or less."

He nodded and entered the room Angel was occupying.

Giles stood over the still unconscious vampire. Curious of the rate of vampire healing, the watcher leaned in, peeling the bandage back to see a puncture. It looked closed, but was still an angry red, and puffy from swelling.

He checked a few other wounds, all the teeth lacerations looked infected, but the other injuries were clear and swelling free. "Hmm…odd" he mumbled, unsure if vampires could get infections. He examined the gash closer, a thought occurred to him and he placed his fingers against to the wound, it was warm.

Before he could call out to Buffy to communicate his findings, Angel's hand clamped tightly around his throat and he found himself airborne and pushed up against the wall of the bedroom. Angel's yellow vamp eyes stared wildly at him, flashing anger and pain. _'Bloody Hell._'

The sound of the watcher slamming into the wall brought Buffy running.

"ANGEL!" Buffy yelled as she burst into the room and darted towards the ruckus, she grabbed the vampires arm, trying to yank him off her gasping watcher. Angel automatically swatted at whatever grabbed him, and turned back to his prey.

His grip suddenly loosened as Angel regained his senses; he looked at the man he had been strangling, "Giles?" he questioned as his vamp features receded. He let go and Giles crumpled to the floor, panting and gasping.

Buffy recovered from being tossed across the room and rushed over to Giles; seeing he would live she looked up at Angel who was looking around unsteady and bewildered.

"Angel?" She asked, approaching him slowly, she really didn't want to have to fight him, especially injured as he was.

"Buffy?" he asked, still confused, since the last thing he remembered was hanging onto the dragon for dear life.

He noticed the bandages on his chest, and then looked down at Giles coughing on the floor, then back at Buffy. '_Now__ they decide to help me?_' he thought. "Sorry. Now go away." he whispered as he blacked out.

Buffy shot forward and caught Angel as he toppled forward, controlling his fall back onto the bed.

Once he was down, she turned back to Giles. "Are you OK?" she asked the watcher concerned, seeing the red marks on his neck.

"Yes," he coughed, "I'll…be fine." He said wincing. "No…permanent damage."

"Tell me what happened." she ordered, wondering what he could have done to provoke Angel to attack. As she asked she pulled him up and walked him into the kitchen, sitting him in a chair and giving him a glass of bottled water.

He sipped it gingerly as swallowing hurt, and told her about Angel's infected wounds.

"You touched him and he snapped back to partial consciousness still in survival mode" she concluded.

"Apparently" he agreed. She nodded, having done it before herself.

"Stay here, just in-case. He probably doesn't consider either of us friends at the moment." she told him and heading back to check on Angel.

The injured vamp was still lying partially on the bed where she left him. She called out to him but he didn't respond. She gently picked his legs up and swung them back onto the bed, and pulled the blanket up to his chest. Her brow furrowed when she noticed he was sweating. She placed her hand against his forehead and was surprised when she felt heat. "You're burning up?" She wondered, even when he was dying from the Killer of the Dead poison from Faith's arrow, his fever was cool. Just to rule it out, she checked his pulse, it was missing as always.

Giles read the concern on her face when she walked back into the kitchen. "What is the matter Buffy? Did he do something to you?"

She looked up, "No, it's just…he has a fever Giles. Angel doesn't get fevers." They talked about the Killer of the Dead for a while and Giles agreed that vampires were incapable of producing natural body heat.

"I'll go check the bookstore; it's just across the street. I can't make any promises; it's not an occult shop. But I could get lucky." The Watcher told her. Buffy nodded as she gathered up some water and a few facecloths. "Yeah, anything you can dig up would be great. See if you can get any info on the dragon, I have a feeling the dragon's bite is what is causing it."

He nodded as he grabbed his coat and headed out. "I'll be back as soon as I've found something useful."

She called out to him as he was walking out the door, "Just make it until sundown, we don't know what else could be lurking in LA at night. Best we keep together when it's dark." He nodded in understanding and disappeared out the door.

8:30am

Buffy returned to the bedroom and began bathing Angel's forehead with the cool water, she wished she had ice, but the power was still out in the city.

A half hour later Angel began to stir. He groaned and opened his eyes, a moment later they focused on Buffy sitting beside him. His brow furrowed in confusion, "Buffy?" he asked, not sure if she was real or some hallucination.

"Yeah, it's me. I'm here." She said as she replaced the cloth with a cool one.

He looked at her a moment then asked, "Why? Why are you here?"

She frowned and pulled away from him, she had been hoping he wouldn't be mad but obviously he still was.

He sat up, painfully, as he spoke, "I called you for help, Giles hung up on me. I lost everyone…" he trailed off, memories of the final battle replaying in his mind.

"Angel, I know I haven't been there for you recently, but I was busy..." She countered.

Angel laughed mirthlessly, cutting her off, "Yeah, fucking that bastard the Immortal."

A flash of anger shot threw her and she slapped Angel hard across the face. He didn't react to the smack at all. "You were spying on me! How dare you! This is why we stopped trusting you Angel! That law firm corrupted you. And keep the Immortal out of this, you don't even know him!"

He locked any emotions he might have had deeply away, "First, I only paid that guy to watch you so I knew you were safe, you really weren't much into communicating once Sunnydale fell. Second, I tried the best I could to do good with Wolfram & Hart, and in the end, it cost me everyone I cared about. Lastly, I've known the Immortal longer than you, he's been my enemy since 1894 when he chained up me and Spike, seduced our woman, and then tortured us. So yeah, sorry, can't say I like your newest boyfriend." he spat.

Her mouth fell open but no sound came out, she closed it again and thought about what he said. "He stole your girl and tortured you?" she asked, a light turned on in her head and she sighed, "He left suddenly one day, mentioned he needed to deliver a package then he disappeared. Andrew said a couple of guys from the Immortal's past showed up, that they were being set up by him. I was part of that plan, wasn't I? He only pretended to care about me to hurt you?"

Angel didn't meet her eyes, but mumbled, "I don't know. Maybe. Bastard had us chasing you instead of the package we came to pick-up."

"Us?" she asked, wondering who else in Angel's past the Immortal was taunting.

He looked up at her, "Spike, who else?"

She looked at him a moment, wondering if his fever was causing brain damage. "Angel, Spike has been dead over a year now, I told you he died closing the Hellmouth in Sunnydale."

Angel looked at her dumbfounded, "Andrew didn't tell you? Wow, didn't think the nerd had it in him to keep a secret." He said the last part more to himself than Buffy.

She went ridged at his words, "What do you mean? What didn't Andrew tell me?" she demanded.

Angel told her about Spike being resurrected from the necklace, his brief stint as a ghost, and his involvement in Wolfram & Hart the over the last year.

"Why…why didn't Spike tell me he was alive?" She asked the vampire. Angel simply shrugged, "Said something about showing up alive would cheapen his glorious ending…or some junk like that." They both sat quietly for a few minutes, thinking their own thoughts.

"I'm Sorry" Buffy whispered, "I'm sorry you lost your team, your friends. I wanted to trust you Angel, I really did, but with the info I had…I couldn't afford to take that chance. I had way more than I could handle as it was, I had to make sacrifices."

He laughed humorlessly again and added tonelessly, "Nice to know I'm still at the top of the 'sacrifice first' list."

"Angel, that's not what I meant." She sighed, wishing he wasn't so offensive towards her. "Of all the people asking for my help, I figured you needed it the least. You've fought some awful things over the past few years, and you always came out on top, I figured you could handle it."

He shook his head, "Yeah, I handled it great, got everyone I gave a damn about killed and totaled L.A. in the process, a real champion I turned out to be."

"Angel, please don't beat yourself up about this…"she stated.

"Yeah can't have that, need to leave something for my enemies to beat up, I can't do their job for them, makes it way too easy."

Angel groaned, but it came out more like a growl, as he placed his hand against his head. His eyes shut tightly and Buffy could tell he was in pain. "Angel? Are you ok?" she asked, she wanted to reach out and touch him, but decided he probably wouldn't approve.

"Fine" he hissed threw gritted teeth, "Get eaten by dragons all the time, no big." He groaned again then slowly sank back down onto the pillow, his body suddenly exhausted.

Buffy shifted then gently placed the cool rag back upon his head, he didn't protest. She continued to bathe his fever with the as cool as room temperature would allow water for a few minutes, she had thought he had passed back out but then he spoke.

He opened his eyes and looked into hers, "I'm sorry… for being as ass. My problems aren't your responsibility; I can't blame my failures on you. It's just…" he trailed off, unshed tears stinging his eyes.

"I know" she comforted him, "You're grieving Angel. You lost far more than most people, and you lost it all at once. I don't know what I would do if I lost the gang."

They both sat in silence for a long moment. "You didn't fail." She pressed upon him.

He looked up at her, "I wouldn't exactly call this a win…" he mumbled remorsefully.

"The dragon's dead, your not. Sounds like a win to me." She added with a smile.

He looked away, not feeling very celebratory, "Maybe I should be."

She frowned and scolded him, "Angel, Don't say that."

"Why not? It's not fair. I'm already dead; I don't have a life to lose. They did." He argued.

She shrugged, "Life isn't fair. We should know. You lived for a reason Angel, your destiny isn't finished yet."

He glanced up at her, "Yeah, sure. Must be destined to spontaneously combust." He grumbled over the throbbing heat beginning to consume his body.

7pm

Angel gasped and winced in pain, constant pain. His body was hot to the touch, the fever spreading to every surface. She sat next to him, dabbing a cool wet cloth against his dry skin, in a failing attempt to control his fever. He had stopped sweating, but she figured it was due to him not having anymore moisture to lose.

Buffy didn't know what to do; he was in so much pain. She wished he would fully pass out into oblivion; this semiconscious state was torture to watch. "Angel?" she called, running her hand against his cheek, "I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help you." A tear fell down her cheek, followed by another and another.

Giles cleared his throat to get her attention; she looked up at him, not bothering to hide her grief or concern.

"Here" he said as he placed a mug in her hands, "Perhaps it will help him." When she looked at him questionably he added, "It's a healing tea, known to help with fever and pain. Although, I can not guarantee it's usefulness on the physiology of a vampire."

"Thanks" she told him, grateful for anything to try. She felt so useless watching him suffer. "I don't know if he'll drink it, he spits out the blood."

She got next to Angel, resting her back against the headboard and resting his head on her lap, "Drink?" she placed the mug against his cracked lips; he automatically turned his head away. "It's tea, to help with the pain" she said to him determined to make him try it. She tilted the cup letting a little drip between his lips. "Just tea" she repeated and tried again.

He took a sip, wincing at the medical taste, but the cool liquid felt too good in his dry mouth to protest. A minute later the mug was empty. She smiled at the small victory and turned to her watcher. "I'll get more" he said before she could ask.

A moment later he returned refilling the mug in her hand then placing the kettle on the nightstand where she could easily reach it. "Thanks" she smiled to him and he nodded, "I'll keep researching the best I can with what I've brought back." he said and went back to the kitchen to read his books.

She coaxed another cup of tea into Angel then let him rest. The tea seemed to be helping; he wasn't gasping or thrashing as much. She absently ran her free hand threw his hair; the other held a cool cloth to his burning forehead.

9pm

Buffy hadn't realized she had fallen asleep until she awoke to Angel mumbling. "Angel?" she called, his eyes opened but were clouded in fever and she could tell it wasn't her he was seeing. It looked like he was having a conversation with someone, but she couldn't understand the words. This went on for a few minutes, during which Buffy tried and failed to snap him out of it. After a while she gave up and turned her attention to the book Giles left for her to research.

9:30pm

"Buffy?" a weak voice asked a while later, she looked down to see his clear eyes staring up at her.

"Angel?" She asked, "You're awake?" she cautioned, unsure if he was really talking to her or still hallucinating.

"For…the moment" he groaned as he adjusted his sore body more comfortably. He noticed the bandages were gone and he took a quick inventory of his body, it felt like the bones had healed, the bruises were fading, the punctures were closed, but he was hot…he was never hot.

He groaned against the heat, "Hot" he whispered.

"You have a fever" Buffy answered as she placed the cool cloth back on his forehead. He moaned in relief at the cool sensation the cloth offered. She picked the mug up and brought it to his lips; he drank the cool liquid greedily.

When the mug was empty he relaxed, and noticed his head was pillowed in her lap. "Couldn't find me a real pillow?" he asked casually, wondering if there was a deeper meaning to her holding him.

"Would you prefer one? I can move." She started to but he stopped her, "No. Don't. Moving hurts."

Buffy unconsciously ran her fingers through Angel's hair again, his eyes had closed, but she could tell he wasn't sleeping. He seemed in much less pain than earlier in the day but she couldn't tell if it was from Giles's tea or the natural progression of whatever was causing the fever.

Angel opened his eyes when he felt a strange sensation flow through him, seconds later that sensation exploded into pain, a very familiar pain that emanated from his chest.

He gasped and clutched his chest as the pain hit, "No" he mumbled, "No…it…can't be. Not possible!" His voice panicked as he sat up.

Buffy asked also panicked, "Angel? What's wrong?"

"Go…get away!" he barked and then cried out in agony as he felt his soul being ripped from him. "Angelus" he managed to say, to warn her, then his world went black.

Buffy's heart froze when he heard him say his evil alter ego's name. Angel gasped and crumpled to his side as she reached out for him. _'He can't be losing his soul'_ she tried to reason, '_there was defiantly no 'perfect happiness' happening in the hours he's been alone with me._'

Her thoughts on the subject ended abruptly as his hand clenched around her throat, she was tossed onto her back as Angelus pinned her down with his body. She tried to wrestle him off but he had her at an awkward angle, she had no leverage, she was trapped.

"Hello Lover" Angelus called down to her with a smile across his sharp fangs. His cold yellow eyes locking onto her like a snake stalking a mouse.

Her eyes widened when she realized she was helpless at the moment.

"Can't say I understand what's going on, but I'm not one to look a gift Slayer in the mouth."

He squeezed his eyes shut a moment and growled in pain. "This damn heat, think it's killin' me. But if I'm dying Buff, I'm taking you with me" He snarled and bared his fangs, a second later he bit into her throat.

...

To be continued...

...


	2. Just Breathe

Chapter 2 - Just Breathe

...

May 20, 2004

Angelus screamed as the pain yanked him backwards off the bed and he slammed into the bedroom wall, writhing as wave after wave slammed him.

Buffy shot away from the demon the second her body was able to move. Her hand went to her neck, finding the wound to be the same spot Angel bit her on her graduation day. She tore her eyes away from Angelus long enough look in the mirror, the punctures barely bled, the twin wounds were shallow; he hadn't enough time to bite down hard.

'_That was too close._' Relieved she wasn't badly injured she refocused her attention on the threat of Angelus.

Giles ran into the bedroom, having heard Angelus scream from his room. "Buffy, what is…?" he stopped when he saw her neck. "My god, did Angel…"

"Angelus" she simply said, not turning her head from the screaming vampire.

Giles eyes widened, "What? Don't tell me you two…?" She held her hand up to silence him. She reached into her slayer bag sitting on the bureau and pulled out two stakes, one she handed to Giles. "Just incase, now get out" He didn't protest, the tone of her voice scared it out of him.

She never took her eyes off the vampire, inching closer with each step, stake raised and ready. Angelus lay panting against the wall, hands wrapped tightly around his burning head.

She stood only two feet from him, her heart screaming at her not to kill the one person she had ever truly loved. Even if Angel's soul was lost, it was still his body she would be killing. And there would be no re-cursing him without said body.

"Your fault" Angelus growled as he blindly lunged at her, he was in too much pain for a proper attack. She easily sidestepped the clumsy attack. "no...No…NO!" he yelled at nothing while he grasped his chest. He screamed again, the vampire mask vanished, and he collapsed boneless to the ground. She cautiously approached, unknowing who she would be facing when he woke up.

Something wasn't right, she could feel it, a moment later she knelt by his body noticing the strange gasping. It took her a second to realize he was actually trying to breathe.

Confusion filled her mind, '_Why is he trying to breathe, he's dead?_' Not knowing why, she placed her fingers on his neck; shock hit her like lightning when she felt a pulse. "Oh my god, you're…alive" she whispered.

Fear replaced the moment of joy as she felt his pulse weaken and slow. "What? No!" Understanding hit her when she noticed his lips turning blue, he wasn't breathing deeply enough, he was suffocating.

All thoughts of Angelus disappeared as she panicked, "Angel! Breathe!" she urged as she patted his face, "Come on…damn it…breathe!"

Instead, the gasping stopped, his chest stilled.

"GILES!" she screamed, a moment later the watcher rushed back into the room.

As fast as she could, she pinched Angel's nose shut, clamped her mouth over his, and blew the air from her lungs into his. Nothing. He didn't respond, so she repeated the steps, two, three, four times.

Giles didn't understand what Buffy was doing; based on her actions he picked up Angel's wrist, tentatively placed his fingers over the veins and was surprised to feel a weak pulse. "My god…his heart...it's beating?" It dawned on him, if Angel wasn't breathing, the heartbeat would stop…soon.

Buffy had tears streaming down her face, _'Breathe damn you, breathe!'_ her mind screamed, as she sent another lungful of air into him.

In response, he coughed and gasped, but it wasn't enough; she forced another lungful into him.

Several tries later he coughed and _finally_ reflex kicked in and he began drawing in deep enough breathes on his own. Buffy glanced towards her watcher regarding Angel's pulse and he nodded, "Very nearly lost it, but it is strengthening now." She had no idea what to say or how to react; she just closed her eyes and sent a mental 'thank you' to who ever were responsible for this gift.

10:30pm

Together, Buffy and Giles placed Angel back onto bed, and she carefully checked for any injuries he may have sustained, but only found a few new bruises.

She sat next to him unwilling to leave his side, afraid he might stop breathing or his heart would fail.

Giles gave her a few minutes to compose herself, let the tears dry and get her emotions back under control. He then asked, "Buffy? What happened while I was researching?"

She pulled her eyes from Angel's rising and falling chest and met her watchers gaze. "Honestly, I don't know. One minute he was fine, then his…curse…just broke. I don't understand how, he certainly didn't look like he was experiencing perfect happiness."

"Perhaps something broke it for him." He injected, "Then what?" he asked.

"I didn't believe it was happening, I let my guard down. Then…Angelus…pinned me, said if he was going down, he was taking me too." She felt a wave of horror flow down her spine, remembering her 17th birthday and the following months.

Giles placed a compassionate hand on her shoulder, he could see the pain in her eyes, "I'm sorry you had to face him again. It must have been difficult to say the least."

"He would have killed me if it wasn't for the pain." She spoke, her voice hollow. "I almost killed him." She looked back down at Angel, breathing but unconscious.

"You may still have to." He cautioned.

She spun to face him, "What?" she demanded shocked and confused by his words.

"Well Buffy you must understand, if his curse is broken, his soul must no longer be present in the body. If Angelus attacked you, it is entirely possible Angelus is still in control."

"He's not." she stated.

"And how do you know this?" Giles questioned.

She looked into his eyes. "Because I can sense Angel's soul."

"Come again?" he asked, removing his spotless glasses and giving then an unnecessary wipe.

She sighed and leveled with him. "I don't know how, I've just always been able to…feel him, inside. Yeah sometimes he can sneak up on me, but when he's close, I just know it."

"You've had this ability since you met him? How do you know it's his soul you sense?" he asked.

She shrugged, "It only works with him, no others vamps, and I couldn't sense Angelus." '_And I sensed him the day he was human._' she thought to herself.

He nodded, taking in the new information. "So I take it, you can…feel…him now?" He questioned.

She nodded. "Yeah."

A moment passed. "Did you lose this sense when Angelus attacked you earlier?"

She cringed, knowing where he was going with this. "No, I don't know what happened. It was Angelus, but Angel's soul was still there. It just…wasn't in control I guess. Must be why I didn't react better."

"And you have no concerns of this happening again?" he demanded.

Angry she stood up and practically yelled down at her watcher, fear driving her words. "I don't have the answers Giles! I have no idea what's going on." She pointed to the unconscious man behind her. "All I do know is Angel is _alive_!"

Giles stood and took her hand, "Buffy, I understand you are protective of Angel, I'm merely stating you should be prepared if the worst comes to pass. There is a reasonably good chance Angel is no longer the dominant persona in the body. If that be the case…" he trailed off as she ripped her hand out of his and glared at him, her eyes practically saying, '_Go on Giles, tell me I have to kill the one person I've ever truly loved._'

Instead of vocalizing that, she said "Angelus said the heat was killing him, maybe he's gone. With the demon dead, maybe the body came back to life?" she questioned.

Giles thought about her words, finding some reasoning but shook his head, "I've never heard of such an occurrence, one would think if the demon died the body would dust as normal for their species. However, stranger things have happened. I'll check the shop again, consult the books; see if I can find anything useful." He turned and left her alone with the newly living Angel.

She let out a frustrated breath and sat back down to resumed her vigil. Moments later she was mesmerized by the gentle rise and fall of the once still chest.

11:30pm

An hour later, the previously unconscious man groaned. The heat was gone, the pain too, but he was tired and thirsty and hungry and sore and there was a thumping sound pulsing in his head, he wished it would go away.

"Angel?" he heard Buffy call his name.

He thought about not answering, but he slowly opened his eyes instead. Her hazel green eyes looked down at him, he could read fear and concern in them, and if he wasn't completely hallucinating, possibly love too.

"Angel?" she asked again tentatively, a stake gripped in her hand out of his line of sight, just incase.

"Buffy? What…is that sound?" he mumbled drowsily, shutting his eyes against the candle light.

She listened, but didn't hear anything, "What sound?" she asked, unsure if this was some kind of Angelus mind-game, or if Angel was still hallucinating from his earlier fever.

"Don't know" he replied, "Kind of a…thumping."

She smiled as she spoke and placed her hand over his heart, "That would be your heart, beating."

Angel's eyes were still closed, he nodded, "Oh." He mumbled.

Buffy waited for her words to sink in, and a moment later she was rewarded.

Angel's eyes shot open as he sat up. His hand went over his heart, a look mixed between bewilderment and wonder showing on his face. "What the…? What…happened? How?" he asked confused. He tried to remember what was going on, but his mind was too muddled.

She looked into his eyes and knew Angelus wasn't there; she let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding, and let the stake fall quietly from her hand.

Angel looked up at her and his eyes were drawn to the two small punctures on her neck, like lightning the memories of Angelus attacking her came rushing back. His eyes widened in alarm, "O god" he said as he flinched backwards, away from her. "I…I bit you…" he whispered in horror. '_Not again, oh please not again!_'

"No" she quickly countered, closing the distance he was putting between them, "Angelus tried, but he's gone now." She cupped his cheek in her hand, "You're alive. He can't hurt me again."she stressed.

He looked into her eyes, and felt the truth of her words in his beating heart. She felt his hand move up towards her chest, she looked down as he gently picked up and held the small cross she had around her neck. A small grin spread across his face as he did, "It doesn't burn."he said in wonder.

"It wont," she reiterated, "You're human."

"Human?" he repeated back, trying the word on his lips. '_Human? I'm alive? Is it the Shanshu prophasy?_' Suddenly his thoughts darkened, "_But what about Wesley, and Gunn, and Fred and Cordy…they don't get to live and I do? How is this fair? I didn't save anyone, I don't deserve this._'

She wanted him to kiss her; to be like it was when he was last human. For a moment she thought he was going to, instead he turned away.

"Tired." He mumbled as he lay back down, his eyes closing.

"Then sleep." She said as she pulled the sheet up to his chest.

2am – May 21, 2004

Angel slowly awoke, he felt a pressure against his chest, something soft and warm pressing against him. When he opened his eyes he saw Buffy had fallen asleep, his chest as her pillow, her ear resting over his heart.

The corners of his mouth twitched in a faint smile, he loved to watch her sleep, he missed it.

Buffy stirred, then sleepily raised her head; she looked up to see Angel watching at her. She quickly panicked, embarrassed when she realized she had fallen asleep on him. "O, umm…sorry." She said quickly wiping the wet spot at the corner of her mouth. She glanced down, and then sheepishly wiped the matching drool spot off his chest, her cheeks were burning red hot.

He didn't mean to, but he chuckled at the scene. "I don't mind" he said honestly.

"Yeah, well I'd like to keep _some_ of my dignity intact." She replied, then added sadly, "Although it might be a little late for that…"

He smiled, "Yeah, I've known you drool in your sleep for years now."

"Hey!" she yelled, mock offended and punched him gently in the arm.

He bit back a laugh.

She stood up after a moment and stretched, the bent position in the chair left her back sore and stiff. "Be right back, gunna make sure Giles made it back." She exited the room and quickly looked into the other bedroom, satisfied Giles was safely 'home' and peacefully sleeping, she reentered the bedroom.

When she got back, Angel was rummaging through the bureau drawers. "What are you doing?" she asked, curious.

"Looking…for…Ah huh!" he cheered as he pulled a black t-shirt from the drawer.

She raised an eyebrow.

"I can't walk around shirtless forever." Angel stated while shrugging on the shirt.

"Why not?" Buffy daydreamed, still partly asleep, then realizing she spoke aloud, quickly changed the subject, "So, I…umm…I think I need to go to bed…" she fumbled. "Do you want to go to bed?" she asked him, then realized how that came out when she saw his eyebrow raise. "Ah…I mean, are you tired? O' I am way to tried for words….that's it…I done with speech tonight."

Angel smiled at her, "I'll pass, not much of a night sleeper. Besides, I've slept a lot lately. Take the bed, get some rest."

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"Actually, I think I'm going to find something to eat, I'm kinda starving." His stomach growled in responce. "See." he pointed to it. "It's already angry at me."

"Oh, that's right. Human now." She stated.

"I pulled a long shirt out for you if you don't want to sleep in your clothes. Get some sleep Buffy. Goodnight." He said then quickly exited the room, closing the door behind him.

Once he left, she quickly changed into the nightshirt and slid under the covers. She smiled when she breathed in, the sheets held Angel's scent. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep.

3am

Angel had been fumbling in the kitchen for almost an hour now, opening cabinets and reading food labels, opening containers and boxes and trying various foods. He'd found chips, crackers, cookies, popcorn and the best for last, chocolate.

Angel vividly remembered the perfect day that never was, his one day as a human. There was nothing about that day that he had forgotten, he could clearly see in his mind's eye the raid of the small office refrigerator, his hungry belly calling out and him appeasing it by stuffing anything and everything into his mouth.

Today was nearly identical, except it was a cabinet he was raiding instead. He may have only been human again for a few hours, but he could tell immediately anything currently in the apartment refrigerator, still without power, was defiantly not something he wanted to put in his mouth…and live anyways.

As he ate half a bag of smartfood popcorn, and an occasional piece of hershesy's chocolate, he was attempting to cook.

It was nothing special, a box of kraft macaroni and cheese, but he was still overly excited about it. He didn't have butter or milk to mix the cheese packet with, so he had to substitute for bottled water.

When the pasta was soft, he poured out most of the water into the sink then added the cheese, he mixed it and started eating it right from the pan.

_Heaven_.

He was on his sixth bite when he realized he could see his reflection in the metal of the pan. Upon seeing it, he smirked and ran into the bathroom to find a real mirror, still clutching his first actual meal.

With the power being off in the entire city, and it only being 3:30am, it was dark in the small bathroom.

He lit a candle and was taken aback by the eeriness of seeing his reflection cast in the flickering orange glow. '_Huh, no wonder people tend to run when they see me lurking in the shadows_.' he thought briefly before he looked up to his hair.

He remembered that last time he saw his reflection was a few years ago in Pylea, Cordelia was a princess and giving him a hard time since he was obsessing with his spiky hair.

'_Damn! Cordy was right. It really does always do this…_' He made a half-assed attempt to pat down the wild spikes, but the brown locks didn't cooperate. '_Oh well, I've worn this look for…well since Whistler found me and I got a much needed haircut. No use fighting it now._'

A growl from within brought Angel's attention back to his stomach and he resumed appeasing the hunger with pasta.

He hung around the apartment for a while, feeling his pulse, consciously breathing in and out, even paging though an old bible, more for the novelty of being able to hold it without burning than actually being concerned about what was written.

When he got bored, he drifted outside to check out the carnage the city was left in after his fight with the very P'Oed Wolfram & Hart.

'_Wonder what happened to Spike and Illyria_?'

His eyes searched the area, it was familiar and he instantly knew he was in Santa Monica and at least 15 miles from where he first encountered the dragon near the Hyperion Hotel and was thus separated from his….'_friends?'_... his associates.

A knot suddenly twisted in his stomach.

He remembered Wesley and Gunn, both mortal men felled by his own godly ego.

'_I shouldn't have dragged them into this. I shouldn't have tried to take on the senior partners. If it was just me, fine, but it wasn't. I killed them as assuredly as if I stabbed them myself._' He looked around the rubble, '_Look at what their deaths reaped…a ruined city, the deaths of countless innocence, and me, I get to live? How is that just?_'

He sat heavily against a ruined wall. Newly beating heart no match for centuries of brooding experience.

Not really thinking about what he was doing, he hot-wired a car and climbed in. Speeding off as fast as he could go through the abandoned vehicle choked streets towards the last place he knew Wesley to be, the home of one Cyrus Vail.

A sigh escaped the former vampire's mouth, not a content sigh, but a depressed and heart-heavy one.

Vail Manor was gone, not just in pieces, but literally gone. A sinkhole had swallowed much of the block, including the house in which Angel had hoped to find Wesley's body.

"I'm so sorry Wes." He mumbled as he lost hope of giving his friend a proper burial. Gunn's body was lost in the fighting; now neither man would ever be laid to rest. "I'm sorry I filled your grieving mind full of false hope and lost causes…I know if you were here you would say you followed willingly, that you believed in my cause…but we both know why you really agreed, you wanted to a cut a chunk out of Wolfram & Hart just as much as I did. They took Fred from both of us…and we both just sat back and watched it happen. We were too wrapped up in our own paperwork to even notice until it was too late."

A bitter laugh forced its way from between his lips, "Bet you're laughing that English ass off right now, huh Wes? Seeing how far we've come from that little hole in the wall office, from 'Angel Investigations.' Someone forgot to tell us _WE_ were the hopeless that needed help. Yeah we 'won' the fight…but did we win the war? Does it even matter? Would you be satisfied with what your sacrifice bought? My shiny new beating heart?"

He paused a moment, not really knowing where his hodgepodge eulogy was going, but just needing to vent his thoughts. After a few deep breaths he continued, "I guess what I really wanted to say to you was…Thank you. It was a long road, and we took some wrong turns, even lost the road entirely for a while…but in the end, we pulled though. You need to know Wes, I don't blame you anymore for what happened to my so… to Connor. You were only doing what you thought was right…what more can anyone ask for but a friend who is willing to do anything to help you? Yeah, turns out you were played, but your heart was in the right place. How's that saying go? It's the thought that counts?"

He took a deep breath, his own words sinking in deep to his own conscience, "This is for all of you actually; Gunn, Wesley, Fred, Cordy and even you Doyle. All of you sacrificed so much for me over the years; many literally gave your lives for me. Part of me is saying I should be brooding over this…but I think I finally learned the lesions you all have been trying to teach me since day one. It's time to stop living in the past, time to stop brooding over what I was and what had to happen to bring me to this point. I'm eternally grateful for what you've all given me, and I want to repay you all…I want to live. I want to experience the life you paid the ultimate price for me. I can't say I'll never worry about the past again, but I can promise the future comes first. From this point on, I'm living for you…for all of you."

He finished with tears in his eyes, shed for all those he lost along the way, either in death or in life. "Thank you" he said again as he turned back towards the car.

He sat in the driver's seat for a while, thinking and sending silent prayers to those he lost. When he finished he headed back to the apartment, back to…Buffy? '_Is she even an option_?'

4:30am

He parked the car where he found it and got out, he inhaled deeply, smelling the approaching sunrise, '_Hmm, I can still do that?_'

He made his way back to the apartment. He quietly opened the bedroom door to the room Buffy was in, he could tell she was still sleeping. He didn't want to wake her.

He left the apartment and headed up to the roof. He had seen the sunset while wearing the gem of Amara, and the two suns rise and fall in Pylea, but not on Earth had he seen the sun rise. He sat down on a ledge and eagerly awaited his first sunrise in over two hundred and fifty years.

'_I wish Buffy was awake, I could have watched this with her._'

The sky slowly began to lighten, the dark comfort he had known of the night was giving way to the dawn. Colors began to rise over the horizon, colors that had once sent a stabbing cold-hard fear thought his very being.

Angel couldn't help but smile at the beauty as the brightening sky gave rise to the sun, he watched in silent wonder as the light raced along the city. He remembered a few times being caught out in the early morning, of having to outrun the rays of the sun as they raced for him and he raced away. He vividly remembered the burning pain when he was a little too slow.

Over two hundred years of fear told him to run now, but he stayed rooted to the spot, watching in almost frozen terror as the sun came for him. "I'm alive, it won't burn me, it won't burn me, it won't burn me…" he repeated to himself in a fearful mantra, trying to erase the century's long fear of the sun.

When the light reached him, his eyes closed, not only from the brightness, but for one single second he thought, _'It will burn me._'

He felt heat on his body, and panicked, '_It IS burning me!_'

However the warmth did not intensify into a blinding pain, just a slight tingling on his skin.

He slowly opened his eyes, blinking and shading his eyes from the fiery yellow shine. A full-blown smile snaked its way across his lips. _'It's beautiful_.'

Once the sun began to warm is skin, he realized how cold the dark night air had been. A shiver when though his body, he laughed at the idea that he had been cold. '_I spend over two hundred years without a body temperature, and now I shiver in the sun? Unbelievable_.'

As a vampire, he could feel the difference between hot and cold, it was just the cold never bothered him, but he always did prefer to be warm if given the option.

'_I want to spend the entire day in the sun'_ he thought as he sat in the morning light. For an hour he didn't move, just sat content with being outside while it was day and not having to worry about catching on fire and burning to cinders.

6am

Angel's eyes were closed when he heard the roof door shut. He jumped and spun around, awkward from his seated position on the rooftop. Giles stood behind him, hands in his pockets and quietly observing the former vampire.

Unbeknownst to Angel, Giles had been studying him for almost ten minutes, observing his behavior. The father in him towards Buffy needed to know this man was indeed Angel, and not his rather unpleasant alter ego Angelus.

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." The British watcher apologized as he came to stand next to Angel. Angel stood; somewhat embarrassed he was snuck up on.

"Giles." He said as way of greeting. They were silent a moment, neither man having had the best experiences with the other in both past and current times.

"It's quiet remarkable." Giles broke the ice while looking over Angel, "May I?" he asked indicating wanting to touch Angel's wrist. The Irishman nodded and Giles took his wrist and felt his pulse. "I never would have thought it possible; an undead being coming back to life. This is an extraordinary transformation, never before documented in any Watcher's journals."

Angel smirked, thinking about the Morah demon that made him mortal before, and Darla's resurrection that brought her back as human. "Happens more often than you'd think." He said to the visibly older man.

Giles brow furrowed, "How so?"

Angel shook his head, "Long story, maybe I'll tell you about it someday." He said to duck out of the lengthy conversation that it would spark, not to mention painful memories too.

Giles nodded but made a mental note to discuss it another time.

They were silent again, neither man knowing what to say to one another. Angel shifted his weight uncomfortably then spoke, "I…umm…I'm sorry for…attacking you."He had remembered while sitting in the car he nearly strangled the watcher.

Giles nodded, "No apologies necessary, you were…well sick…I suppose would be a technical definition. No harm, no fowl, right?"

Angel slowly nodded, "Yeah, I guess." he said dejectedly.

Giles removed his glasses and began to clean them on his shirt, "I take it Buffy will be safe with you if I leave for the day?" the watcher asked.

Angel turned towards him, wondering if he was implying that he would harm her, "She's a slayer, she can take care of herself." He replied back.

Giles nodded, "Yes, she can. However, sometime her emotions can…lead her astray."

Angel though he knew where Giles was headed with this, "Listen Giles, Buffy and I…we haven't… I'm not going to take advantage of this…new situation. I won't hurt her again, I swear. If she wants me to leave, I'm gone."

Giles looked into the former demon's eyes a moment, seeing the truth in them he nodded and put his glasses back on, "Very good then Angel, I'm glad we agree." After a moment pause he added, "When Buffy wakes, could you let her know I'm heading to the occult shop across town, they're known to carry fairly rare texts. I will be returning sometime tomorrow evening."

Angel nodded and Giles left, neither man said goodbye.

When he finally decided to head back to the apartment, Angel realized he was still hungry. '_Hmm…breakfast food_.' He looked thought the cabinets until he found something, a smirk lit his face and he got an idea.

7am

Buffy deeply inhaled the smell of something delicious, _'pancakes'_ her mind whispered.

Slowly her eyes opened, seeing the soft light filtering through the closed curtains, she guessed it was early morning. She sat up and stretched; only five hours had passed since she went to bed, but a slayer didn't need as much sleep as a normal human.

She jumped out of bed fully rested and rejuvenated, quickly checked her hair in the joined bathroom, then opened the bedroom door and walked into the kitchen, following the scent to a stack of pancakes sitting on the table.

Next to them was a note.

_Buffy, _

_Have breakfast, and then meet me at Santa Monica beach._

_I left a bag with swim suits and a chair._

_See you soon, _

_~Angel_

_ P.S. Giles said he was checking the occult shop across town, will be back tomorrow._

She was a little disappointed to be alone, but hunger decided to keep her company. She grabbed a fork and poured the syrup over the stack. As she ate she glanced through the bag of swim suits he had left on the table. She smiled as she found 'the one'.

Angel had raided a nearby store earlier in the morning, grabbing himself some clothes and necessities when he spotted the bathing suits and got the idea to go to the beach.

After finishing off the pancakes, she changed into the white bikini, put on the sundress and the flip-flops, slung the beach chair strap over her shoulder, and headed for the beach.

The Santa Monica beach was only a half mile away; a stones throw for someone like Buffy, who walked almost everywhere.

The city was empty, it made walking though it an ominous task, she felt like a survivor of one of those 'end of the world' movies. A short time later, her feet where sinking in the soft sand of the beach.

She easily spotted Angel's chair on the empty beach, which was a shock in itself thinking of the normally packed beach, and made her way to it.

Angel wasn't in sight. Buffy looked up and down the length of the beach but she couldn't spot Angel anywhere, panic began to flow up her spine, images of Angel being attacked or simply drowning in the ocean flooded her mind.

With a splash, Angel suddenly appeared, rising from the water; Buffy watched mesmerized, seeing in her mind a slow motion Baywatch-like scene as Angel's wet body rose from the sea, the sun shinning off the water droplets as they ran down his naked chest.

"You made it." He said as he walked up to her, he was completely unaware that she was almost drooling at the sight of him.

She shook herself and forced herself to focus, "Huh? Ahh, yeah, here is me."she said trying to stuff her hormones back down where they belonged.

He took her chair from her, unfolded it, and plopped it down next to his. He sat down in his chair and began to lather on a thick layer of 100 spf sunblock.

She sat down next to him and looked quizzically at him, "Uhh, even a former vampire doesn't need that much sunblock."

He smiled, "Being a former vampire has nothing to do with it, I was something far worse before I was changed." He said as he rubbed the lotion on his legs.

"What?" she asked.

He looked up, a twinkle in his eyes, "Irish."

She shook her head, not understanding what he meant.

"We Irish come in two shades, paper white and burnt red. We don't tan." he explained.

11am

They sat together on the beach for the entire morning, talking occasionally, listening to the sounds of the ocean, and just enjoying each others company.

To Buffy, this felt like some strange but wonderful dream. She never would have believed them if someone told her she would be sitting on a deserted beach in L.A. during the day with Angel. She glanced over at him and noticed threw his sunglasses she could see his eyes were closed; she smiled at the idea of him falling asleep in the sunlight. She let him sleep; she didn't have the heart to wake him up. She was determined to get him sleeping at night though, no more creature of the night routine.

She watched him sleep for awhile, taking in the sight of him, watching his chest move up and down with breath, the sound of his quiet snores, and she couldn't help but laugh to herself at his swim trunks. '_Man wears nothing but black_' she thought shaking her head, '_I'll have to fix that too'_.

Thoughts of what would come next played through her mind. She still loved him, always would, but he seemed different now. More distant, perhaps he had gotten over her like they said they should, moved on. She frowned at the thought.

Her mind kept pulling up the memory she should never have remembered, or in her opinion, never have lost. Angel walking out from the shadows, confidently striding up to her and kissing her at his very same beach. His warm lips on hers, his heart pounding in his chest as they pressed closer together. '_Calling that kiss well-above-average was way-understated._'

A half hour later he awoke with a start, sitting up in his chair then looking over at her. "Wow, I feel more tired now." he said yawning, a bewildered look on his face. '_Was that the first time I ever yawned?_'

"Yeah, the sun makes you sleepy." She said, feeling the sun's rays sucking the energy from her too.

He stood and brushed sand off his black swim trunks, "Yeah, I guess so. Going for a dip, should wake me up. Care to join me?"

She looked over at the water; she never was much for the swimming part of the beach, more of a tanner. Not to mention that whole thing where she was drowned once.

"Why not?" she stated despite her hesitation, as she took his offered hand. '_Can't let drowning once spoil my love of the water forever._'

He quickly let her hand go once she was standing, then turned and walked to the ocean. She followed a step behind, enjoying the view of his behind.

Her toes touched the chilly water and she quickly stepped back, "Oh, it's cold!" she squeaked.

"That's what makes it so great" he said as he ran and dove into the blue water.

She half laughed, half cried as the cold water sprayed on her from his splash. _'Maybe he'll lose his swim trunks.'_ She looked out at the water, expecting him to come immediately back to the surface, he didn't. She called his name, and thinking he was playing an evil trick on her, was determined not to panic.

When he still didn't surface she began to worry, thinking about the sign posting a warning about the undertow, she slowly wadded into the cold water and called his name again.

She screamed as he erupted from the water behind her. "Angel!" she yelled, turning and slapped his chest.

"What?" he asked innocently, but couldn't hide the laugh. That is until the sting from her slap hit him, "Ow!" he said rubbing the reddening hand print. "Man, that smarts."

She rolled her eyes, "Serves you right."

Neither of them noticed a particularly large wave charging towards them, a moment later it bowled them over and pulled them both under the surface.

Buffy felt the sand bottom rub against her face, then the suction from the undertow. She fought the current, but her strength was powerless while she was weightless.

Angel bobbed back up first, being taller and heavier, he got his footing easier. He looked down into the water and panicked when he saw Buffy being dragged past him. He reached down and grabbed her, wrapping his arm protectively around her waist and pulling her head above the water.

She coughed and spit out water as he carried her in his arms back to the shore. She coughed up a salty mouthful of water, "What is it…with me…and drowning?" she coughed.

"You didn't drown." He soothed as he gently placed her on the sand and patted her back, helping her to cough up the water. '_There goes that not fearing the water thing…rats._' "I think I've had enough of the ocean for…like ever." She said as she got her breath back and he helped her up. She stood, facing him, and looked up into his eyes. "Thanks" she said sheepishly.

"For what?" he asked.

"Ahh…saving me." She clarified.

He shook his head, "You don't need to thank me for that. I'm sure you would have been fine. Besides I dragging you into the water to begin with, it's kind of my fault."

"Maybe it is." She said with a smile, "I know just the punishment."

A few minutes later they were walking back to the apartment, she was carrying her towel, and he had everything else. A few paces from the beach and Angel turned to her walking beside him. "Umm…can I have my shirt back now? I think my back is burning." he asked. She smiled and looked him over again, "Nope." She replied with a grin.

He sighed, giving up.

12pm

Buffy took a long, unfortunately not very hot, shower while he cooked them some lunch.

She exited the bedroom, dressed and toweling off her hair. "Man what I would give for a generator right now." She said, wishing for hot water to be running through the pipes, not to mention lights and refrigeration and air conditioning…and about a hundred other things modern life usually provided.

He set two plates of pasta with red sauce on the table as he talked, "You know how you took a hot bath in my human days? Heat up a pail of water over the fireplace and pour it over your head outside."

She openly cringed, "Eww, but how did you soap up?"

He shrugged, "Soap first, water next. If ya didn't like it, there was a lake down the road to jump in. Water was freezing though."

She sat at the table and picked up her fork, "Pour guy, how did you survive?" she asked as a joke.

"I didn't" he answered back truthfully. He seemed lost in thought a moment, but quickly shook off whatever he was thinking and dug into his bowl. "Mmm, I love food." He mumbled between bites.

"Mmm hmm, food is good." She agreed back.

After they ate, they sat in the living room, staring at the blank TV.

"Lets go exploring" Buffy said out of nowhere.

He looked over at her, and then shrugged, "My schedule's free."

A few minutes later they were walking down the road, looking into the ruined stores, seeing if they could find anything useful, any signs of people, or anything that needed its butt kicked.

"When do you think the people will be back?" she asked as they entered a ruined department store.

He shrugged, "Should be any day now. Can't even imagine what the news reports are saying happened here."

"I can guess" Buffy said, "In wake of earthquake, L.A. suffers massive gas leak, city evacuated for safety." She said in her best news reporter voice.

He shook his head, grinning at her antics.

"I swear, people will believe anything just to not believe in the supernatural." She complained.

"Yup" he agreed, knowing full well that even in game-face, some people just couldn't believe he had been a vampire.

After coming up empty, they were about to head back to the road when an aftershock hit. They both shook as unsteadily as the ground beneath them.

'CRACK' they heard from above as a section of the already damaged ceiling gave way.

Buffy heard Angel scream her name, and then darkness filled her vision.

...

To Be Continued... (I'm guessing you hate me right now.)


	3. All's Fair in Love and War

Buffy groaned and lifted a shaky hand to her head, she felt something warm and wet.

_'Great,' _she thought, '_I almost drown then I get knocked out. Angel must be freaked.'_

With that thought, she sat up and looked around. The floor was a mess, even more so than before the aftershock. Thick dust clouded her lungs and she sent out a cough to clear them.

"Angel?" she called out, looking up, she noticed a section of the ceiling had caved in, the section she and Angel had been standing in.

_'How did I get over here?'_ she wondered, then she remembered hearing Angel yell her name, and him pushing her out of the way.

She got up, not bothering to dust herself off, too worried about Angel to notice the dirt. Quickly she ran over, dodging debris as she went, to where she had been standing. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Angel lying motionless beneath a fallen beam.

"Angel!" she breathed out in shock as she collapsed down next to him, grabbing the heavy beam and lifting. A few long seconds later it rose and she tossed it aside. Her hand immediately went to his neck, a moment later relief flooded her as she felt a steady beat beneath her fingers.

She put her hand against his cheek, caressing it gently, and called his name.

He stirred, coughed then winced at the pain it caused. He opened his pain filled eyes and looked up at her, "Buffy? You…ok?"He asked, more worried about her than himself.

She nodded her head, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm not the one the building fell on. Are you ok?" she asked, looking him over for injuries.

He nodded, "Yeah, great, except for the broken ribs." he mummbled painfully. His breathing shallow and slow since it was painful to do so.

She quickly pulled his shirt up and saw the dark bruises appearing on his chest already. A moment later he coughed and a thin trail of blood snaked down his cheek_. _

_'That's not a good sign'_ he though, and quickly wiped it away before Buffy noticed.

She found a dislodged clothing rack lying in a pile and grabbed a shirt off a hanger, tearing it to make strips to bind the ribs with.

"Come on, this whole place could collapse any second." She insisted as she helped him sit up then stand. They quickly got back to the relative safety of the street incase of another aftershock.

She made him sit down on a bench as she bound his ribs.

"Second time in as many days I break my ribs" he grumbled as she worked, and for the moment wishing he didn't have to breathe since the pain wasn't minor.

"Second time today you saved my life." She said looking up at him.

"Yeah, either I'm getting better, or your getting worse." He said with a forced smile.

She glared at him, and then tightened the strip around his ribs.

"Ow" he groaned, knowing she did it on purpose.

... 2pm ...

They slowly walked back to the apartment, Angel leaning heavily against Buffy for support.

She could tell he was pushing himself; she didn't want him passing out in the street, but they didn't have any other options.

When they finally made it back, Angel collapsed down on the couch, too exhausted to walk the few more feet into the bedroom.

"Angel?" Buffy called as she helped him down, but he didn't respond.

He coughed, a thin line of blood rolled down his lips and she realized his broken ribs must have punctured a lung.

"Oh god" she whispered, knowing she didn't have the medical knowledge to help him or the ability to get him to a hospital, the city was empty. Buffy thought about going to get Giles, but she didn't want to leave Angel alone as injured as he was.

Buffy picked up the wall phone and heard a dial tone; she paged through the yellow pages and found the number to the occult shop Giles was staying in. For a moment she thought it would work, until "I'm sorry, the number…" She slammed the phone down in frustration before the message could finish.

'_Damn it. The phone lines near the shop must be down._' She thought.

Not knowing what else to do, she removed Angel's shirt and began to realign and rebind the ribs properly. When she finished all she could do, for the second time in two days, she sat with his head in her lap, gently stroking his hair.

... 5pm ...

Angel slowly awoke; he opened his eyes to see Buffy looking down worried at him. The fact his head was in her lap again did not escape him.

"Hi" he whispered and sat up.

"Angel! Your ribs!" she scolded as she tried to keep him down.

He gently pushed her hands away and sat up fully. "Actually, they're fine, sore, but fine." He said with a grin.

Confused as to why he seemed fine, she quickly unwrapped the bandage and was shocked to see the dark bruises healed and barely visible. "But…how? It's only been a few hours." she looked confused.

"Guess I retained my vamp healing." He shrugged.

"You're pale" she said as she cupped his cheek.

"Hmm…tired, starving too." He admitted with heavy eyelids.

"Rest then, I'll make you some soup." She said as she stood. "Are you sure you're ok?" she asked still not entirely convinced.

He grabbed her hands and placed them on his previously broken ribs, "Do you feel anything broken?" he asked.

She took the opportunity and eagerly ran her hands over his muscular chest, "Nope, nothing but solid." She replied with a slight grin.

He suddenly wanted to grab her and hold her close, but instead he sat back as she turned and walked over to the kitchen cabinets to find one of the dwindling cans of soup.

After a small number of minutes she returned to the couch carrying two hot bowls of Italian wedding soup. '_Damn, he put his shirt back on_.' She thought and handed one of the bowls to him, then sat down beside him.

"Did you keep any other powers?" she asked after a few spoonfuls.

He swallowed then replied, "I…I didn't really notice before, but I think I still have all of them." He added after a beat, "Well…maybe not the 'virtually indestructible' one." He emptied his bowl and placed it on the coffee table. She did the same. As he sat back against the couch she watched him out of the corner of her eye. He looked better already, the paleness fading.

The past few hours had been driving Buffy nearly insane with worry, suddenly he was alive again and so close to being taken from her. She needed to know what was between them, if anything. She could no longer stand this awkwardness; she was getting an answer right now.

"Do you still love me?" she suddenly asked him out of the blue.

He looked up startled, "What?" he squeeked.

She repeated the question, "It's not a trick question Angel, Yes or No?"

He looked at her much like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car, he almost said no, instead his eyes softened and he whispered truthfully, "Always."

Her brow furrowed in confusion, "I don't understand, then why have you been so distant to me lately?"

He looked down at his hands, to look at anything but her, "I…I thought that's what you wanted, for us to move on, to forget."

She shook her head, "You're the one who said to forget." She almost confronted him about the lost day, but she held her tongue.

He nodded, "Yeah, but you said you weren't ready. I'd be waiting years, if ever, for you to 'finish baking'."

She winced as she remembered her cookie analogy. Mostly that came from a desperate desire to get Angel the hell out of Sunnydale; she knew the vampire would have been a serious help, but also a serious complication, especially with Spike. She had been in 'General mode', and she knew the losses on her side could have been substantial. He wasn't an acceptable loss.

"I was wrong" she said moving closer to him, "I think…I've always been cookies for you." _'Especially now that you're big on the eating._'

He looked into her eyes, his heart attempted to overpower his head, but his head won the internal argument again, and then he looked away from her.

She sighed, frustrated in the former vamp. "There is nothing separating us now Angel, your alive, you can't lose your soul, you could give me a normal life…if, if you don't want that…just… say it so I can…can try to move on." She said with a heavy heart.

"Buffy, I…I do want you. More than anything I want to be with you…It's just…" he paused and she cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at her, hazel green eyes locking with chocolate brown. "Just what?" she demanded.

"God Buffy, I…I tried so hard to keep your heart safe, and I end up being the one to bruise and tear it the most…I never wanted to hurt you, but that's all I seem to do. I don't want to hurt you anymore." He admitted, tears threatening to fall.

"And you think making me live without the only man I ever truly loved isn't hurting me?" She demanded, a second later her eyes softened and she reached her hand up and ran her thumb along his cheek.

"I just want you to be happy." He said, running his hand along her cheek.

"Then make me happy, you're the only one who ever really did." She confessed.

He couldn't hold back any longer, heart won the fight over head; he pulled her forward into a passionate kiss. She quickly jumped onto him, straddling his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck.

After a few minutes he stood with her still wrapped around him, quickly walked into the bedroom, shutting the door with his foot and toppled onto the bed. They pulled away from each other just long enough to shed unwanted clothing, and then collapsed back onto the bed, lost to everything but the feel of each other. They made love well into the night.

... 11pm ...

Buffy smiled as she rested her head on Angel's chest, the rhythmic beat making her sleepy. She forced her eyes back open, she was afraid to shut them, to find out this was some trick, or that he would leave…again. She remembered the last time she laid with him like this; she woke up alone because he ran off and nearly got himself killed fighting a demon. Not to mention he then altered time so it never happened.

She tilted her head and looked up at him, his eyes were shut, but she knew he was awake. "What happens now?" she asked him, unsure of what this meant for their future together.

He slowly opened his eyes and looked down at her, "I'm thinking sleep." He said drowsily as he hugged her closer.

"I don't want to sleep; men tend to disappear while I sleep." She told him, remembering their first time together, and Parker, and Riley.

He brushed a stray unruly hair from her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. "Not this time. Sleep. I'll still be here when you wake." He whispered to her.

She looked up at him, hope shinning in her eyes, "Promise?"

He kissed her forehead, "I promise." He whispered as he fell asleep.

Satisfied, she let herself fall asleep in his arms.

...

Elsewhere in L.A.

A dark shaped walked through the empty, debris cluttered streets. Hard hooded eyes searching for something. A grim smile twitched at the corners of his mouth as he spotted the item of his search.

The shadowed form was soon joined by half-dozen more. Each man-shaped figure wore a black robe-like garment, similar to a ninja, loose fitting to allow for movement, but made for stealth. They all had weapons; crossbows, daggers, throwing stars...all weapons used for attacking from a hidden place or from a distance.

These were not soldiers of the modern world; they used no guns, no technology, had no desire to live in today's comforts. There had no sight beyond the mission, and their mission was death.

The apparent leader knelt before the putrid, twisted and rotting corpse of the dragon. The late spring heat speeding up the decaying process of the huge beast.

His gloved hand reached out, running leather covered fingers over a dark red tinted tooth. Some of the dried blood crumbled onto the glove, the man brought the flakes to his tongue and tasted.

His hard eyes brightened with cruel joy. "The poison has been injected." he rose to his feet and faced the others, "Find him. I wish to watch this one die myself."

... 3am – May 22, 2004 ...

Buffy turned over, reaching for Angel to cuddle with, but he wasn't there. She fully awoke instantly and sat up; she looked around the darkened room, moonlight showing the muted details of the bedroom, but didn't see him.

_'He promised._' she thought sadly.

Buffy was about to go searching when she heard the toilet flushing. She quickly lay back down and pretended to be asleep.

A few seconds later she felt Angel slip back into bed and under the covers. As soon as he was comfortable she slid up to him, wrapping him in her arms and pillowed her head on his chest.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" he asked sleepily as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

"No" she whispered back, "You not being here did."

He kissed the top of her head, "Sorry. Next time I'll listen when you tell me not to drink so much water before bed." He said with a smirk.

She snuggled closer into him, content and happy, and was soon lulled back to sleep by the sound of his heartbeat.

... 7:30am ...

Buffy felt the warm body next to her, she smiled and opened her eyes, and as promised, Angel lay sleeping beside her.

She laid still, just watching him, the peaceful expression on his face, the rise and fall of his chest, the nakedness of his chest, she drank it all in. She thought about pulling the sheet back, to look at some other parts of his anatomy, but he spoiled her idea by waking up. '_Rats. Oh well, pleantly of time for window shopping later._'

His brown eyes slowly opened, blinked a few times, and then he turned to look at her. He smiled, "Good morning, did you sleep well?"

She smiled back, "Hey, morning. Sleep? Was there sleep? I don't remember there being much in the way of sleep." she said with mock confusion.

He grinned back, "Is that a complaint?"

She shook her head, "Absolutely not. That's defiantly one big exception to the 'don't mess with Buffy's sleep' rule. My only complaint, how come we haven't been doing this all along?" She finished with a slightly husky voice.

He snuggled closer to her, his arm wrapping around her waist, as she pillow her head on his shoulder.

"Besides the 'it will cost me my soul' thing?" he asked, not deciding if he should smile or frown.

"O yeah, that was a problem wasn't it?" She said sheepishly, that little fact already slipping her mind.

He picked an expression and smiled against her ear, "Not anymore."

She giggled as their lips met.

... 10:42am ...

"I have an idea what we can do today." Buffy said as she rolled over and flopped her head on Angel's chest.

"I thought we _were_ doing something." he said with a lusty smile.

She shook her head, "Gees, human for like a minute and already you're total sex tunnel vision." She said with a smirk.

He laughed as her lips lingered closer to his, "Says the girl who won't let me put my pants on."

Their lips were about to meet when she pulled back. "Ok, put them on then." She said as she hopped out of bed and reached for her discarded clothes.

He frowned. '_Nice going idiot'_ he heard a little voice in the back of his head say. He rolled over and sat on the edge of the bed and reluctantly reached for his pants.

Buffy suddenly pressed against him, he was acutely aware of the fact she was still topless.

"After you get dressed, bring the blankets." She said into his ear, a second later she grabbed her shirt off the floor and exited the bedroom.

It took him a few seconds to register that she had spoken; her bare breasts had been at a very distracting level.

'_Blankets?'_ He shook his head to clear it and finished dressing. He grabbed the blankets off the bed and followed after her. "You do realize it's like 80˚F…in the shade? I don't think you're going to need a blanket." He said as he entered the kitchen, where she was busy packing food and water into a bag.

"Grab the sunblock" she said without answering him.

He shrugged and grabbed the item; she took it and packed it.

"Ok, I think we're ready to go." She said, overly excited and she adjusted the sunglasses she wore in her hair.

"Ready? Go? Would you like to tell me what it is we're actually doing?" he asked, curious since she hadn't told him anything besides 'gets dressed' and 'grab blankets'.

She sent him a mischievous grin, "Nope." She said then headed out the door with the bag slung over her shoulder.

He quickly followed with the blankets held under his arm.

...

After walking for a few minutes he realized they were heading to the beach.

"We're going to the beach again?" he asked.

She didn't turn to look at him, she shrugged and said, "Maybe?"

He shook his head. "I didn't bring my swim trunks."

She smiled, "You won't need them." She promised.

"Well other than swim, what else can you do at the beach? We didn't even bring the chairs" he wondered allowed.

"You'll see" she replied cryptically.

Once they reached the sandy Santa Monica beach, they made their way to where they had been sitting the day before, the sand imprints of their feet still there.

"Lay the blankets out." She said to him as she put the pack down and began to strip.

He was doing what he was told when his attention was caught by her stripping down to nothing. He looked startled for a moment, but looking around he remembered there was no one around but them.

"Well?" she said, stretching out seductively on the blanket. "What are you waiting for?"

He was naked in a second.

As their lips tangled and tongues dueled she laid him down on the blanket, his back sinking into the soft sand beneath. She pulled away a second and smiled, her face silhouetted by the sun shining brightly behind her. "Is it safe to say this is the first time you've ever made love on a beach in the sun?" She asked as she ran her fingers down his coloring chest.

He grinned up at her, "Yeah, it will be."He admitted.

"Good." She said with a smirk. "I finally get to share a first something with you."

He smiled and pulled her closer, "Everything feels like a first with you." He countered.

She let her body reply.

...

A few hours later they lay tangled together on the tousled sandy blanket, both of them drowsy from the mix of sex and sun.

She sighed in contentment, snuggling against his chest, the steady beat still fascinating her. "A girl could get used to this." She admitted.

He smirked. "Mmm…me too." He waited a beat, "Except I think I have sand in my…." He trailed off as he shifted.

She shook her head and laughed, "We can take a shower then we get back. Wash off the salt and the sand."

He nodded and waited a second. "Wanna go back?" he asked, eager about the shower idea.

She laughed, "I've created a monster."

He drew her up closer, "You have no idea." He said nuzzling her neck.

...

The shower water was cold, but Angel didn't seem to notice. Buffy didn't seem to notice the chill of the tile on the shower wall either as her back pressed against it, Angel wrapped tightly between her legs. The heat passing between the both of them could make a volcano seem chilled.

... 6:23pm ...

They sat together on the couch, she was sitting across his lap holding a bowl of instant chocolate pudding, it wasn't cold, but they didn't mind. They each held a spoon, giggling slightly as they fed one another, each exchanging 'knowing' glances.

Buffy heard someone coming up the front stairs and quickly moved off of Angel. They smoothed their rumpled clothes and hair, and then separated. They had agreed to keep their relationship between them for the time being. Buffy knew Giles would have an aneurism if he knew they were together again.

Giles opened the door and breezed into the room, a heavy bag slung across his shoulder, full of books no doubt. He spotted them on the couch, "Ah, yes, Buffy. Very good, I need to speak with you when you have a moment." He said dropping the bag on the kitchen table and turning to face her.

"This is a moment, what's up?" she asked as she put the pudding bowl down on the coffee table.

He shifted, "Ahh…Would it be possible to speak…in private?" He asked, not looking at the former vampire.

Buffy sent her watcher an unhappy glare, "Anything you have to say, you can say in front of Angel. He's one of the good guys, remember?" She quickly squeezed his hand, out of Giles line of sight.

The Englishman nodded, "Very well" he said, moving into the living room and sitting in the chair across from the couch. He removed his glasses and began to wipe them. '_Great, he always does that went its bad news._' She thought disheartened. "Well?" Buffy asked, wanting to get the bad news over with.

Giles took a deep breath. "Well, through hours of research, I've discovered some rather…unsavory…news." He looked up and met Buffy's worried green eyes, they said to keep going.

He looked over at the Irishman sitting beside his slayer. "It seems this new 'human' form you've recently acquired, Angel…it isn't meant to last."

...

Angel's eyes closed as the door to happiness slammed shut in his heart...again.

Buffy's jaw dropped, "Wha-what? Why? How long does it last? What will happen when it wears off? Is there a way to keep it?" She asked all at once. She grabbed Angel's hand again and clung to it for dear life.

Giles sat back in his chair, thinking about how to answer. "In the Gerumdelum codex, I found a passage; it referenced an elite class of assassins, The Order of Phonoi. They specialize in, well assassinations. They are known to eliminate extremely difficult targets, and according to the literature…" He looked directly at Angel, "They have never failed."

Buffy looked confused, "So what does this have to do with Angel being human?"

Angel understood what Giles was implying, "They turned me, to make me vulnerable. As a vampire, I was virtually unkillable. As a man, they have a shot." He reasoned.

Giles nodded, "Precisely. They use dark magic's and potions to find a weakness, and…and then they exploit it. They must have known or even designed the dragon's bite to make you mortal." he theorized.

Angel gently pulled his hand from Buffy's grip, stood up and paced, after a moment he stopped and just began to almost manically laugh. It was all he could do to keep from screaming in anger and frustration.

_'Everytime! Every. God. Damn. Time. Something good happens to me and BAM! Loophole, or ancient prophecy, or some other miserable thing comes along to screw it up. I should have known better to think I get to actually _live_. I really am damned._'

Buffy glared angrily at him, "Why are you laughing! Angel this is serious! These guys want to kill you!" She practically shouted.

That seemed to sober him a moment, "Yeah, you're right. That means I should go. They're after me, not you. I'm sure as Hell not getting you guys caught in the crossfire." He exclaimed as he walked into the bedroom, fully intending to put on his shoes and coat and walk away.

Buffy jumped off the couch and followed him, "So that's it? You're just going to run off and get killed?" she shouted at his back. She pushed him further into the bedroom and not-so-gently kicked the door shut behind her.

He turned to face the raging woman, "You heard what Giles said, this…" He held his hand to his heart, and almost shouted, "This isn't permanent…it will go away, and when it does…then my demon side comes back." he lowered his voice, "Then my curse comes back…" '_Then I can't touch you…_' he thought miserably.

She stood starting at him, tears rolling down her cheeks, "You promised you'd stay." She said quietly.

He sighed, looking down, not meeting her gaze. "I want to, but things will go back to how they were, we can't be together like that…it didn't work."

She shook her head, "You didn't want it to work." She almost spat.

He looked up at her hurt and angry, "Because it's unfair to you…"

She cut him off, "You're unfair to me! To treat me like a child! I can make my own decisions Angel; I'm not some swoony little schoolgirl anymore. I'm an adult! My life has never been fair, or normal, or even sane, hell I've died twice! The only thing I ever cared about was being with you, and you walked away from me." She took a deep shuttering breath, "I never understood, I kill you and you come back to me, but I tell you I love you…and you leave me." Hot tears ran freely down her cheeks.

He stood frozen to the spot, his face an expressionless mask.

She turned to walk back into the living room.

"Buffy." His voice stopped her.

She turned to meet his eyes, not even daring to hope.

He moved towards her, she trembled and he pulled her into a tight embrace. She broke down into his chest, his steady heartbeat making her cry harder.

"I can't." she whispered, "I can't do this again." She looked up into his eyes, "I can't just forget, not again."

He looked down at her confused for a moment, then his eyes widened in horror. "You…you remember?" he stammered.

She laid her head back on his chest, listening to the rhythmic beating, "I didn't, not at first. I got to relive the day in Heaven, over and over. After I came back, when I met you, I remembered it all. The Morah demon, the sunshine kiss, the kitchen table, and the ice cream… then you telling me it never happened…" she broke down again and more tears fell down her cheeks.

His eyes squeezed shut, a few tears leaked from the tightly sealed lids as he remembered the happiest day of his very long life. '_I wish I had known then, known why she was so pissed at me when we met, at least we could have talked about it…not that either of us were in the right mental state to discuss something like that at the time ._'

"I'm sorry" he whispered, not knowing what else to say. After a moment he added, "The oracles told me you would die if I stayed human; I had to do what was right, even though it was the hardest choice I've ever had to make, I'd do it again to keep you safe."

She looked up at him, shaking her head, "But you didn't save me, I still died Angel. You asked how we could be together if it cost me my life…but being apart cost a life too…is cost you yours." She placed her hand over his beating heart, remembering when she did the same movement only seconds before the day was taken from them.

His jaw tightened, emotions running rampant in his system. He said softly, voice shaking "I was given two options, and I made a choice. Right or wrong, it doesn't matter now."

Buffy pulled back from him, a flair of venom in her voice, "Yeah, you made the choice…alone. My opinion never matters to you, even when you broke up with me; you made the decision without me."

He shifted uncomfortably, eyes looking everywhere but at her, "I…I thought it was for the best, that's what everyone said…"

"Everyone?" she asked suddenly, "Who's everyone?"

He looked down, "Giles, Xander…your mother." He said quietly.

Buffy's eyes widened, "My mother told you to leave?" she asked him, dumbfounded.

He sighed heavily, "Not in so many words…but I understood her point."

Buffy shook her head, not wanting to think about any of this anymore. "Fine. Whatever." She wiped the tears from her eyes, "You know what, you should go, run off and get yourself killed. See if I care. Doesn't matter what I think anyways, you never ask my opinion." She turned her back to him, opened the door, walked back into the kitchen, slammed the door behind her before collapsing in a chair at the table.

Giles overheard a muted bit of the conversation, but it didn't take him long to understand the general concept. '_'I'll never hurt her again', he says…rubbish. All that man ever does is hurt my slayer_. _Perhaps these assassins aren't such a negative after all_.' He thought with contempt for the former vampire.

He walked over and picked up the closest chair and put it down next to Buffy, he sat beside her and placed a comforting hand over hers on the table. His eyes quickly checked the bedroom for privacy, the door still shut. Satisfied, he leaned in and spoke softly to his slayer. "This business here in L.A, it doesn't concern us, Buffy. The demons have been slain, no innocence are in jeopardy, you have no duty here. Angel has made some rather beastly decision of late; his involvement in the Wolfram & Hart Corporation is evident enough of that. This may sound rather harsh, but…well he has made this bed himself, perhaps he should lie in it?"

She looked over at her watcher, part of her wanted to agree with him, drop everything here and get on a plane back to Europe; to go back to 'simpler' living, with Dawn and the new Slayers. The other part of her wanted to slam her foot into Giles face for even thinking of abandoning Angel to slaughter.

Angel opened the bedroom door and walked back out into the kitchen, his shoes were on and he had his coat slung over an arm. Buffy looked away from him, having no intentions of watching him walk out of her life, again.

Giles sent him an angry British stare.

Regardless, he stood behind Buffy's chair and spoke, "Your right, I've made a lot of stupid choices, ones that effected you without your consent. Truth is, I'm really old, and that sometimes makes me _think_ that I know better, clearly I don't. So I want you to decide. If you tell me to go, I'll disappear, completely. '_So I can never hurt you again_.' Or if you want me to stay, I will. I'll honor your decision either way."

She thought about his words for a moment. _'If he leaves, I know I'll never see him again. Could be good, could be bad. If he stays, and he turns back…I can never touch him again. What would be worse, not having him in my life at all and trying to move on, or having him but never really having him? Oh god, I don't know.'_

She took a deep breath and looked at the two men in the room with her. Her eyes met with Giles, her hazel-green meeting his; she could practically hear him screaming 'leave' into her mind.

Her eyes turned to Angel, his dark gaze stayed glued to the floor, his silent brooding almost deafening in the quiet of the room.

She stood and began to pace, weighing the options in her mind. '_Can I live without him in my life again? I have for the past four years…and weren't those exciting years..._' she thought sarcastically. '_Am I able to see him only as a friend? We've never been just friends. We tried that…it didn't work out very well either. Not to mention the many hours of love we've shared in the past day. can I just let that all go? Never feel him inside me again?_' She stopped pacing and made up her mind.

...

To Be Continued.


	4. Love is a Battlefield

Chapter 4 - Love is a Battlefield

* * *

"Ok, here's what we're gunna do." Buffy addressed her watcher, in full command mode, "Giles, keep looking into these assassin guys. I want weaknesses, past targets lists, description on how they work, their methods, who hires them, hell, what they eat for breakfast. I need to know what we're up against."

He nodded and picked up a large dusty tome from the pile.

She turned to Angel, his eyes lifted to meet hers.

'_Go, leave and never come back._' Is what he heard her say in his mind.

"Stay, at least until we kill these guys. If…circumstances change, we'll re-evaluate the situation then. Deal?" She asked him, not pleading, but there was concern in her voice.

His heart leapt for joy in his chest, his mind told him to leave, keep her safe by keeping far away from her, but his heart had never so much as thought it. Keeping his face expressionless, he nodded. "Deal."

Giles stood, book in hand, he caught Buffy's eyes and gave her the 'I-don't-believe-you-are-thinking-rationally-about-this' face.

She sent him back an, 'I-don't-care, I'm-the-Slayer, I make-the-calls' face.

His mouth tightened into a grim line, he was disappointed, but he would do as she asked of him. He was her watcher afterall, he was duty bound, and not only by watcher law, but by the fatherly love he shared for this young, beautiful and often headstrong girl.

As much as his slayer drove him raving mad, he would not change her for the world. He opened his sack, pulled out a few more ancient volumes, and began to read.

Angel wasn't sure what to do; he would stay of course, he had promised and he would keep that promise, but what would happen now between him and Buffy? Thirty minutes ago they were feeding each other chocolate pudding after many hours of making love, now he stood awkwardly next to her, his mind horribly confused following the recent fight.

"I'll stay in the apartment upstairs." He said heading towards the front door.

She caught his arm, holding him back. "Don't" she said softly, "That's not necessary." She laced her fingers though his and pulled him into the bedroom; she shut the door behind her and turned to face him.

He quickly dropped his coat onto the chair beside the bureau and faced her.

"If this isn't going to last" she said walking up to him and placing her hand over his heart, "I don't want to waste the time we have left fighting."

His arms encircled her and drew her against his chest, hugger her tight he told her, "Me either." He placed a kiss on the crown of her head.

"We'll help research for a few hours, and then we're going to get some rest." She told him, "We start looking for these guys tomorrow; take them out before they can try an attack."

He nodded, "Alright."

She slowly pulled out of his embrace and headed back into the kitchen to research, he followed close behind.

* * *

... 10:45 ...

They had all been reading the dusty texts non-stop for four hours now, each of them growing tired and frustrated. Buffy was about to toss her book across the room and head to bed when Angel's voice broke the silence.

"Giles, you should take a look at this." He said as he handed the book over the table to the watcher.

"What?" Buffy asked him, hope creeping into her voice, "Something good?"

He shrugged, "Probably not." The former vampire replied blandly.

Giles internally read the passage in question, and then read it again. "Hmm…interesting." He said eyes still locked on the pages as he set the book on the table to free his hands to remove and clean the spotless lenses of his glasses.

"What!" Buffy asked loudly, not enjoying being ignored.

Giles looked up, "Hmm? What? Oh right. Yes. Well there is a rather sparse documentation of an assassination of a vampire by The Order of Phonoi. The assassins, The Phonoi, in Greek mythology, were spirits of murder. They specialized in non-battlefield killing and slaughter. This passage outlines the assassination process and the actual kill." He paused then continued as her 'hurry up' expression.

Angel looked away, not really thrilled to hear what he had read a few minutes ago.

"It seems this is not the first time they have used a type of poison to kill a vampire. The first recorded attempt here states it took a week from beginning to end. The Phonoi had a rather hard time tracking the vampire, but once he was 'humanized', he died within two days."

Buffy's hand found and gripped Angel's tightly, her ears almost wanted to water at the thought.

Giles continued without noticing, "It seems the injection virtually resurrects the body, thus neutralizing the demon spirit. However the text is unclear if it is a true resurrection, or rather a short term chemical reaction. Whichever it be, the body is then left without an essence; vampires usually being soulless, the now living being left behind, is just an empty shell. One that is then easily…dispatched…if not left to die of dehydration." Giles finished.

They all sat quietly for a few minutes, lost in their own thoughts.

Giles looked to Angel, "However that is not the case with you. When your demon was destroyed, since your soul was still inside, it retook control of the body again."

Angel nodded, but still looked uncertain. "I don't understand, if my demon really is dead, why do I still have my abilities? Will they fade overtime? How long will my 'life' last? Will my heart stop again? If it does and my demon is gone…does that mean I'll just die?" He asked, not really to Giles specifically, but needing to vocalize his thoughts.

Buffy leaned against his shoulder, wrapping her hand around his waist, giving him some much needed emotional support; then looked across the table to Giles, hoping for answers to those questions too.

The Watcher sighed heavily, one hand removing his glasses, the other rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Honesty? I don't know. What I can surmise, however useless…is you are an exception to the norm. Your soul interferes with the natural process of how this poison operates. As to if your mortality or how long your supernatural powers will last …that I cannot even begin to phathom."

Angel closed his eyes a moment, lost in silent torment. He listened intently to his heartbeat, loving the feel of his blood actually flowing through his veins, the warmth of it, the life of it.

'_Can I go back to being what I was? Dead. After all this time spent with Buffy, after I gave all this up for her once before…could I survive losing her again? Physically…sure, emotionally…I think I'd go insane._' He felt her hand tighten over his; he opened his eyes and looked over at her.

Buffy could easily read the tormented and anguished look in his chocolate brown eyes; she knew her eyes mirrored his at the moment. '_I can't lose him again…I just can't._'

Her other arm tightened around his waist, "Hey, lets not play the funeral march just yet, we know what the book says…and well…what does it matter? What was that thing written back in the roman era? Who's to say the details are even relevant to the here and now? Big plus, your body _is_ alive….why wouldn't it stay that way? And as for your powers, does it matter is they stay or go away? I mean, yeah it would be nice to have them still, I know first hand what it's like to go from 'Super Hero' to 'Average Joe' is one injection flat."

She cringed slightly as she remembered years ago when the Watchers Council had Giles inject her with a Slayer suppressing drug that left her just plain old human strength Buffy, it wasn't a happy memory.

She looked at Angel and noticed his slight frown at the 'Average Joe' idea. She quickly corrected, "Not that there is anything wrong with being average, it might be nice to have someone actually 'normal' hanging around. I mean you don't need super powers to do good, look at Xander, he's never had a power, and…and he saved the world just last year, all by himself, just being normal, powerless Xander Harris."

"Telling me I can be just like Xander…Yeah, that's not really helping." Angel said adding a tired sigh afterwards.

Buffy glanced over at Giles, and saw him eagerly scanning the books again. "Ok guys, It's late, we should get some rest. Tomorrow, at first light, we'll restart the research. Until then, we need to save the lanterns batteries. With these Phony guys…"

"Phonoi" Giles automatically corrected.

Buffy sent him a quick, 'Don't-interrupt-me-when-I'm-giving-orders' face, then finished, "With these assassin guys lurking about, it's only a matter of time before they find us. It isn't safe to go out day or night anymore. So we need to conserve the food, water, and resources we have until we can bring these guys down."

While she spoke, Giles lit two candles, keeping one for himself and handing one to Buffy.

"Right, well I'll resume researching as soon as it is light enough for me to do so. Goodnight Buffy." The Englishman said as he shut off the electric lantern he brought back from his looting.

Angel turned and retreated into the bedroom, his eyes still very well adjusted to seeing in the darkness, he didn't need to wait for Buffy with the candle.

Once inside, he began to rummage through the drawers for the pair of sweatpants he 'borrowed' from his little 'shopping' spree the other day. Once found he walked into the bathroom to change.

A few minutes later he walked out wearing the sweats and holding his neatly folded clothes. His eyes spotted Buffy, as she changed into the nightgown he 'bought' for her the day before.

He quickly averted his gaze, "Sorry" he said turning around to give her some privacy, his cheeks flashing red.

A second later he felt her hand enclose over his arm. "You're acting like we haven't been having wild conscious-free sex over the past day, that said, you've defiantly seen me naked."

He met her eyes. "I know, I umm…I mean…I'm not sure how I'm supposed to be acting right now. Things are…weird. Maybe we shouldn't be intimate right now." He confessed.

She wrapped her arms around his waist, "If something bad was going to happen, don't you think I would have by now? Anyways, I meant it when I said we should sleep. We haven't really done much of that lately." She said with a grin.

He grinned to, it was only for a second, but Buffy counted it as a small victory. "Come on, the sooner we get to sleep, the sooner we can wake up, kick some assassin ass then get back to the regularly scheduled demon fighting apocalypse averting chaos that passes as our daily lives." She said as she pulled him towards the bed.

Angel laid down, still smelling the scent of their lovemaking form hours before.

Buffy curled up against him, using his chest as her new favorite pillow.

His arms snaked around her back, holding her and gently rubbing the tense muscles.

"Mmm" She breathed against his chest, "Can everyday end like this?" She asked while shutting her eyes and snuggling into him.

She didn't see his brooding brow as it emerged in overdrive. '_Will I even get another day? Will my heart still beat tomorrow? Will I wake up at all?_' He shut his eyes, not because he was tired physically, but emotionally he was an exhausted wreck.

"We can try." He said, not sure he believed the words, but needed to give her some hope. He didn't want to spend his possible last night with Buffy by crushing her dreams…again.

He listened to her soft gentle breathing for a while, his mind too wired to allow for sleep. As he gazed down at her, a grin spread across his lips as he watched her sleep. She looked so peaceful, so carefree.

'_You're an idiot'_ his own voice said to him. '_This girl loves you so much…and all you do is keep giving her reasons not knows everything there is to know about your past, and she still loves you. She lived with every horror you or Angelus ever did to her, and she still loves you. She faced a life with you under harsh curse restrictions, and she still loved you. And Mr. Know-it-all-former-vamp-with-a-soul, what did you do? You walked out on her…never gave her a chance to fight it, never even said goodbye. And you know what… she still loves you_.'

He thought his whole life over; the days spent as a human drunken degenerate, his monstrous rampage as the Scourge of Europe, nearly a century of brooding over his soul in America, then finally meeting Buffy and deciding to 'be someone'.

'_I've spent over 350 years (including Hell) either being evil or miserable. I can continue with that until I die…however soon that is…or I can pull my head of out of my ass and finally 'be someone.' I can be someone…with her. I can be the kind of man she deserves, even if only for a short while. Not to mention I did promise that I would experience the life my friends paid the ultimate price for me, even if it only lasts a few days…'_

At that moment in time, he knew he would never walk away from her again, not ever…for any reason.

Buffy shifted in her sleep, her arms wrapping tighter around him.

He grinned and hugged her closer too. '_One year, if I'm still alive…I'm asking her to marry me._' He silently vowed to himself.

A few minutes later, he finally let himself fall asleep.

* * *

May 23, 2004 – 2:30am

Angel's senses alarmed.

His eyes opened and instantly adjusted to the darkness. A shadowed figure crept along the perimeter of the room. A moment later, he head the tell tale click of a crossbow being pulled back, ready to fire.

Angel rolled off the bed, dragging a suddenly-awake-and-unhappy-about-if Buffy along with him. He felt the bolt breeze by his back and plunk into the mattress as soon as his body cleared it. He felt another arrow pierce him, but he didn't have time to check the damage.

"Angel! What the…" She yelled as they slammed into the bedroom floor and he shoved her under the bed.

"Assassins" he said quickly.

Buffy understood they were under attack, and was pissed she didn't sense it. '_That's what I get for being warm and snugly, a relaxed danger alarm.'_

He grabbed the edge of the bed and lifted it up, dragging it back against the wall, shielding them and using it as a barrier between them and their enemies.

"Ok, now what?" he asked, unsure how to turn the defensive into offensive.

Buffy grabbed a few supports from under the bed, breaking them into stakes. "Weapons help." She said as she worked.

"Buffy, they aren't vampires." He said noticing the stakes.

She turned to him, barely able to see him in the darkness of the room. "Yeah, so no convenient dust piles…but I'm sure they still die if you stick a piece of wood in their chest. Besides, I don't see any swords or axes lying around…do you?" she snipped, angry these guys were ruining her well thought-out plans.

'_Touché_' he thought irritated but the whole mess.

Angel saw an assassin trying to angle his crossbow behind the mattress; with a snarl he grabbed the weapon, crushed the mercenary's hand and punched the guy back.

Buffy suddenly kicked the bed, the powerful blow sent in sliding across the room, toppling the would-be assassins. "There, defense turned offense." She stated, starting to attack those getting to their feet, the only ones she could see in the darkness.

Angel grinned and started firing the crossbow, taking out those he knew were invisible to her.

After a few minutes, ten Order of Phonoi lay dead in the bedroom.

"Giles!" The Slayer suddenly thought and ran to check on her watcher, preying the assassins ignored him. When she ran into the kitchen she almost ran over the subject in question. "Giles!" she said when she realized it was him, she hugged him quickly then let go.

"Umm, yes. I see you're alright too then." The watcher said awkwardly.

"Yeah, we're fine, those assasins learned not to mess with a 'Slayer without her morning coffee'." She answered back.

"Yes, well I wouldn't dismiss them just yet, they are known to move in waves. If one unit fails to return, another is dispatched until the job is finished." He urged to her.

She frowned, "Ya know, just once, I'd like to hear you say 'Yay, we won.' And leave it at that."

"Buffy?" Angel's voice called from the bedroom. "Could you come in here a second…bring the light."

Buffy didn't like the strain she heard in his voice. She looked to her watcher, he nodded he was done talking and she grabbed the light and walked into the bedroom.

"Shut the door." He asked and she did.

"Angel? What's up?" she asked with concern.

"We still have a first-aid kit in here?" He replied looking around beneath scattered bodies.

Her eyes widened, "Oh God, were you hit? Where?" she asked as she rushed over to him, the light shining brightly as her eyes searched his body for injury.

"I'll live." He confessed. He turned, reluctintly, and she saw the arrow.

A second later a stifled laugh escaped her lips.

"It's not funny." He grumbled.

She looked up at him, trying to hide her amusement, "You got shot in the butt." She giggled, then had to laugh again.

...

Giles was curious as to what was going on in the bedroom, he walked over prepared to help if need be, but his hand froze an inch from the doorknob when he heard their voices.

"Buffy, I can't take my pants off. The shaft is caught in them."

"Well, let me just…"

"Ow! Don't pull it!"

"Don't be such a baby."

"I'm not being a baby, it hurts when you do that!"

"Angel, I _have_ to pull it, that's the only way to get it out."

"Fine…but use two hands and hold it as the base of the shaft."

Giles visibly paled and backed away from the door. "Scared for life." He mumbled as he walked back into his bedroom, stepping over the would-be assassin he killed earlier, and firmly shut the door.

A few minutes later he heard a knock at his bedroom room, then Buffy's concerned voice, "Giles? Are you ok?" He stood and opened the door, thankful for the dimness the candle provided, he didn't want her to see the intense red of his cheeks.

Buffy oblivious to his discomfort asked, "Do we have another first-aid kit? This one's out of gauze."

He looked at her concerned, "Gauze? Are you injured?" he asked automatically.

She shook her head, "Angel, nothing serious." After a beat, "Unless he wanted to sit down this week." She said grinning.

He sent her a confused look as he rose from the bed to get the requested item.

She shrugged, "Arrow."

"Good Heaven, he was shot? Where?" he asked.

She smiled, "Butt."

Realizing, with great relief, that what he thought he heard through the closed door wasn't what he had suspected. Giles looked at her, "Oh, well…yes…umm…here." He stammered, handing her the kit.

"Thanks." She said as she heading back into her bedroom to patch up her boyfriend.

...

Angel was lying on his stomach, arms crossed under his chin, a scowl on his lips.

"Giles said these guys will keep coming. Wave after wave." She spoke to Angel as she taped up the wound.

He winced as she worked; very aware she wasn't being exactly gentle.

Once she finished she gave his injured cheek a light slap, "There, good as new."

He swallowed a yelp when she did.

She pulled his sweats up to cover the wound, shuttering at the blood on them.

She laid on the mattress next to him, it was in rough shape, the frame and box spring were ruined, but the mattress itself was sleepable. The flickering candle she had lit showed the paleness of his face.

"It's not _that_ bad." She said to him.

He looked over at her, "Say that after _you_ have five inches of barb tipped arrow ripped out of your ass." He grumbled.

She grinned and shifted position, lying on her side perpendicular to him, resting her head on his back. She began to trace his tattoo. She felt his shoulder twitch beneath her hand.

"Hmm…tickles." He mumbled.

She smiled, "Really? I thought you weren't ticklish?" She asked.

He awkwardly shrugged. "I wasn't."

She lay there a few minutes, trying to decide what to do. She wasn't sure if she should let Angel rest, and recover from his injury first, or set out right now to find the Phonoi before they strike again. She sat up and glanced over at him and noticed his eyes were shut. '_Rest it is then_.'

She got up and checked the windows, making sure they were shut and locked tight. She then checked the rest of the house, making sure no more assassins could sneak in.

Angel had tossed the bodies out the window earlier; none of them wanted corpses lying around at their feet. Plus it acted as a great intimidation factor, 'You wanna kill us? Well look what we did to the last to try.'

As Buffy was shutting the blinds in the living room, she spotted a figure lurking in the dark. '_Great, if I can grab one, we can find out where the others are hiding._' She snuck out of the house and heading towards the shadow.

She rounded the corner, the figure passed directly in front of her, acting quickly she grabbed its neck and slammed it against the wall. "Ok pal, you've got 2 seconds…" her words died in her throat when she recognized the guy she was uselessly strangling.

"Buffy?" He asked voice full of shock and hoarse from her crushing grip on his larynx.

Her eyes widened, "S-Spike." she stammered, remembering Angel told her he was alive, but somehow not really believing him until just now.

"Umm…Hi?" He said uncomfortably. He had spent months thinking about what he would say to her when he saw her next. All of his careful, thought-out scenarios magically vanished from his mind the second he saw her. '_Bugger._'

"Hi" she replied lamely back. Seeing him had completely taken her by surprise.

"So um..." he wheezed, pointing to her hand still clutching his throat.

"What? Oh! Sorry!" she winced and let go. A Forced laugh, "Force of habit…"

"It's alright, wasn't breathen anyways." He admitted.

After an awkward silence both of them spoke at once. "How are you?"

She blushed, he couldn't.

"You first pet." He said.

"I'm…I'm good." She self-consciously brushed her heir behind her ears, '_Oh! I didn't even look in the mirror! Please don't have bedhead, please don't have bedhead.' _"Been busy. Had a lot of work finding and training the new slayers after…after you umm…died." She whispered the last word.

He grinned, "Yeah, so I guess you heard about the roasted and ghosted trip huh? Always could count on the big ponce for rainin' on my parade."

"Yeah, let me guess. You smell him on me?" She asked, still grossed out by the fact they could smell her and know far more than they should be able. '_That's just one giant invasion of privacy_.'

In was then she noticed how banged up he was. "Hey, what happened? Are you alright?"

He shrugged looking down at his shredded clothes and various mostly healed injuries, "What? This? It's nothing. Ya'know just risking my life for the greater good an all. Captain Forehead didn't tell you the details? Figures. Rides off into the sky with his new best dragon pal, leaves us to finished his fight. Some hero."

He suddenly noticiced something and inhaled deeply, looking down at her hands, "Hey, is that his blood on your hands?" His eyes filled with hope, "You didn't by chance, kill him, did ya?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him, not smiling. "No, I didn't kill him. He was wounded…I patched him up. And what details are you talking about?"

"Wolfram & Hart, epic battle to the death…or to hell… whichever happened first. He takes off and leaves me and Blue to clean up his mess." Spike pulled a newly stolen pack of cigarettes from his tatters of a leather coat and fished his lighter out of his jean pocket without a hole in it.

"Yeah, well…the fight with the dragon left him…kinda incapacitated for a while. I'm sure he would have come back if he had been able to." She defended.

He could smell sex all over her, and his grand-sires nauseating scent, and he knew the blood he smelt was Angel's blood but it was human blood. '_So that bastard went and pulled a Shanshu, that son-of-a-bitch_.'

"Yeah, right. Bet the sod was hoping my dust was swirling away into the gutter by now. Where is the git anyways? Me and him have some words to exchange." Spike said as he lit the cigarette.

"He's busy at the moment" she half-lied. To be honest with herself, she didn't want either of them face-to-face right now, especially if Angel was human. The chances of a fight were high, and with Angel mortal and injured, the odds were far from fair.

Spike nodded, "Want me all to yourself then, huh pet?" she said with a smirk.

She sighed, "Spike" she warned.

He raised him palms in surrendered, "Ok, ok, no need to get your panties in a bunch." He dropped the stub of his cigarette to the wet pavement and ground it to dust with his boot. "I know when to take a hint; need to find some cover and a decent meal anyhow. Been life-threatenin as always, luv." He turned to go, to lick his physical and mental wounds.

Buffy didn't like how the meeting was ending, she cared for Spike, maybe she didn't love him, like like he wanted her to, but he was there for her when she needed someone, and she would always remember that.

"Spike?" She called out and jogged to catch-up to him, he turned, a confused and hopeful expression of him face, "Forget something, pet?"

She looked up at him, "Spike listen, there are these assassin guys lurking around, there looking for Angel."

Dejected he looked away, "And you want me to help kill them." He finished.

She grabbed his arm; he turned to look back at her. "No, I want you to keep away. These guys specialize in killing vampires. I don't want you getting caught in the crossfire." She admitted.

"Really? Why's that?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

She shifted then sighed heavily, knowing they needed to clear the air between them. "Spike, I know what the last words I said to you were, and in a way it was true. I do love you…I'm just not _in_ love with you."

He nodded, expecting the words. He had known at the Hellmouth she didn't love him, and he had said it to her, but it still hurt. "Yeah, figured."

She did something either of them expected, she pulled him into a tight hug.

"Thank you." She said sincerely.

He knew she meant the Hellmouth and his being there for her over the years, he hugged her back. "No, Thank you." He said.

She pulled back to look up at him, he replied to her confused stare, "For giving me a chance, for not givin' up on me, and lettin' me be a hero" he clarified.

She smiled, "Well thanks for not letting me down."

After a moment they separated, both letting go a burden they didn't know they were carrying.

"It's not safe here. Please, just stay hidden for awhile. There's a butcher shop two blocks away between 23rd and 24th, the refrigerator is powered by a generator…the blood should still be good." She told him.

He nodded, looking forward to a decent meal, all he had come across lately were inedible demons and spoiled blood. "Right, I'll look into that. But you're out-of-your-head if you think I'm hidin' from a fight. I'll be back tomorrow night, and I'll be looking to forward to a little rough and tumble, the patrolin kind." He added in the end so she wouldn't get the wrong idea.

She frowned at him, and then shook her head in defeat, she knew him, and she knew he wasn't going to hide. "Ok, we could use another set of hands, but be careful." She warned.

He nodded and began to wander off towards the butcher shop, "Careful's my middle name, pet."He flashed a smile.

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, right."

He grinned as he was about to turned around the corner, "It's a date then." He called out as he disappeared into the night.

She shook her head, a smile on her face.

A moment later her mind wandered back to the reason she came out to begin with. '_Well, I'm out, might as well go a quick patrol in the area and see if I find anything Stab-wothy.'_

_...  
_

An hour of wasted time later, she opened the door to the apartment and slipped inside. It would be light in a few hours; she figured she could get in a short nap before the assassin hunt began. She was about to fumble her way into the bedroom when she walked into something solid.

'_So much for sneaking in unnoticed'_

"Angel?" she asked when a pair of hands grabbed her shoulders to keep her from bouncing off said object and falling backwards.

"Yeah." He said quietly.

She pushed on him, indicating he lead her into the bedroom; she couldn't see anything in the pitch dark without the help of the moon outside.

After a moment she felt the edge of the bed behind her legs, she sat as he moved away.

A second later a flicker of light sprouted from the candle he lit.

"Thanks" she said, glad for the ability to see again.

He didn't reply, he just slipped back into bed, pulled the covers up and rolled onto his side, facing away from her.

'_He's brooding…he must be able to smell Spike on me or something…great just what I needed tonight, more jealous vampire crap_.'

"Angel?" she called, hoping to clear the air with him.

He didn't respond.

She sighed heavily, "Ok, listen. Spike and I just hugged, there's no need…"

"Spike?" he cut her off, the look of surprise on his face when he rolled over made it plain to see he hadn't even know about that until she opened her big mouth.

'_Shit. Note to self, keep flapping mouth shut!'_

"What does Spike have to do with anything?" he demanded as he sat up.

"Ahh, well I was out…and I ran into him... Hey wait, if not about Spike, why are you mad?" she countered.

He sighed, looking both annoyed and hurt, "I was mad because you took off in the middle of the night without saying a word. So excuse me for being a little more than worried." He shot.

"Oh" she said, looking down. "Yeah, about that…I can explain…" she tried.

He held up a hand to silence her, "Please don't." He lay back down and rubbed his hand over his eyes, "Let's just get some sleep for now. Whatever you were doing with Spike is none of my business." He said as he rolled over.

'_Ok now he's _really_ brooding._'

"Angel…" she tired again.

"Not right now, Buffy. Please?" he asked as he pulled the blanket up.

She sighed, "Fine." She said slipping into bed.

'_Something tells me he isn't going to want to cuddle…._'

...

Buffy yawned as she stretched, morning light streaming in, the closed binds not deterring it in the least.

It took her all of one second to realize she was alone in the bed.

'_Angel must still be pissed_.' She thought dejectedly as she got up and grabbed some clothes to change into. She went into the bathroom to do her best to clean-up with no power or hot water.

Once she was presentable she walking into the kitchen to find Giles and Angel reading though yet another pile of books.

_'Gees, did those things multiply overnight?'_ she wondered.

Her attention was immediately pulled in by the smell of coffee. Both men had a mug of the steaming dark liquid. She cast a glance at the coffeemaker, it was off…just like the power. She would have remembered seeing instant coffee if it had been in the cabinets.

"Hey, when did the coffee fairy come by?" she asked Giles, still unsure whether she should talk to Angel or if he was still mad.

It was Angel who stood; he waked over to the stove, picked up a pan and a strainer, and poured the contents of the pan through the strainer and into the mug. He replaced the pan of hot water on the stove and put the strainer in the sink. He handed her the cup and nodded to the bag of sugar on the counter. "No milk" was the first thing he said.

He sat back down, took a sip of his own cup, and resumed reading.

_'Yup, still mad.'_

Buffy took a hesitant sip, but was mildly surprised it was drinkable. She wouldn't have spent money for the taste, but it was hot and caffeinated…so it was perfect.

"So, anything new?" she asked them, wondering if they uncovered anything worth mentioning.

"Hmm? Oh, good morning Buffy. I didn't hear you come in." Giles said as he came up for air from the ancient volume he had been so engrossed in.

"Yeah, noticed." Buffy mumbled.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Anything new?" she said to cover.

Giles removed his glasses, but just held them while he rubbed his eyes with his hand. "No, I'm afraid not." He said dejectedly.

A second later Angle slammed the book he had been reading down hard on the table.

They both turned to look at him.

"Damn it!" he said as he got up and walked into the living room to sit heavily on the couch, head in his hands.

After a moment of indecision, Buffy put the mug down and cautiously came up beside him.

"Angel?" she called, wondering if he would snap at her or not.

"I can't do this." He said defeated, leaning back against the couch, "I'm not research guy…I'm go out and kill something guy." He said frustrated.

Buffy nodded, "I get the feeling." She said quietly.

She slid down onto the couch, leaving a small space between them. After a pause, "We'll figure this out, in fact why don't we go out now…find these guys like we planned…and make them all kinds of dead. Well maybe not _all_ kinds, we don't want them undead…then we'd have to kill them again…which would be double the effort."

"Buffy, you're babbling." Angel said aloud.

She turned to look at him but he had his eyes shut, "Oh, right…sorry. Nerves." She said sheepishly.

Angel laid his head against the back of the couch, opening his eyes looking up at nothing.

She could feel the tension between them; it felt as tangible as the couch under her butt.

'_This can't go on much longer_.'

She didn't think about it, her body just moved closer to his, her head resting down on his shoulder.

"I love Spike." She hadn't even noticed she had spoken aloud until she felt Angel stiffen beneath her ear.

She looked up at him, his expression unreadable; eyes were blank as his face.

"I love him…but I'm not _in_ love with him." She stressed.

He looked down at her when her fingers physically moved his chin. "I'm in love with you, have been since I was sixteen."She admited, voice full of raw emotion.

When he still didn't say anything she moved her hand over his warm chest, "You don't need to feel threatened by anyone Angel, I'm yours."

He looked away a moment, his eyes still blank, but she could see tears in them. When he turned back to her he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

She felt his lips kiss the top of her head. "I know, you've told me in so many ways. I'm just too dense to see it sometimes."

She nodded and grinned, "Yeah, it's a fault carried on the Y chromosome."she half-joked.

He looked annoyed a moment, then a grin spread across his lips, "Yeah, I guess I can't argue with that."

They sat quiet a moment, then he spoke, "I'm sorry for being a jerk." He whispered to her, "It's just…I love you so much it hurts."

She looked up at him, "Me too. Sorry I snuck out. Honestly, I didn't plan on it. I was closing the blinds when I saw a shadow outside. I thought it was one of them, figured we could find out where the others are hiding. Turned out to be Spike...lurking."

He nodded, "You don't need to explain, I trust you."

She smiled sweetly at him, "Thank you." She laid her head back down against his chest, listening to the unfamiliar but wonderful rhythm while his hand ran fingers through her blond locks.

"Still want to go kill something?" he asked a few minutes later. "Yes please" was her response.

They slowly pulled apart and stood, their lovers quarrel behind them, they focused on the issue at hand, the Order of Phonoi.

Giles looked up when the couple walked back over to the table.

'_That was quick'_ he thought. He was amazed at how the two warriors interacted with each other; such passion went into each action, whether positive or negative. They let their true selves out, naked and raw emotions. They loved without a safety net, so when they fell, they fell hard.

"We're going to kill something." Buffy announced. "Any ideas where to look?" she asked a second later.

Giles looked at the text in hand a moment, as if the pages would magically supply an answer. They didn't. "I'm afraid not." He admitted. "These assassins keep themselves well hidden in the literature. With the exception of the one passage we discussed earlier, they do not seem to exist beyond a name in these books."

Angel nodded, "Well then I guess we do it the old fashion way." He stated.

Buffy looked at him, "How's that?"

He shrugged, "Bait the hook. Wait for a bite."

Buffy shook her head, "We're not using you as bait. There has to be a better way."

Angel stared down at her, "Buffy we don't have time for looking under every rock, this is L.A. They could be anywhere. They know where we are, we're not safe here, especially at night when they can hide easier. We either take them out today, or we spend every minute looking over our backs."

Giles nodded, "I agree. Luring them out may be our only option."

Buffy looked down a moment, and then realized they were right. "Fine. We'll give Angel a big 'Here I am, come stab me' sign and parade downtown. But we're making a pit stop first."

...

Thirty minutes later, Giles, Buffy and Angel were walking through the streets of L.A., empty save for the rays of sunlight dancing on the pavement. They talked loudly and openly, inviting their voices to alert the enemy of their whereabouts.

Angel had refused the 'Here I am, come stab me' sign.

It wasn't long until the three felt the hairs on the back of their necks rise with prying eyes following them from the shadows.

Ten minutes of following the scurried glances in the shadows, they came to an old warehouse. Inside they found the base for the Order of Phonoi. Within seconds, a full scale war broke out. Two dozen of the soldiers were attacking them, the odds weren't great, but they had faced worse.

Buffy's mind switched into full battle mode, the human in her, Buffy Summers, seemed to drain away as The Slayer took control, her body reacting to the fighting almost on its own accord. After facing a hoard of uber-vamps inside the Hellmouth, this fight really just didn't seem that impressive.

Giles fought with excellent deadly force. Anyone who mistook the English librarian for a pushover got a life ending surprise. The watcher had no trouble with wielding his sword against the assassins. True he did have a history of being knocked unconscious, however most of those incidences occurred from hidden enemies using the element of surprise, when aware of his targets, Giles was far from vulnerable.

Angel fought like a blur, the strength and power he thought lost when his heart began to beat was racing thought his veins. With a powerful punch, the Phonoi he had been facing was thrown back, colliding into a few of his brethren, the three landing in a pile of limbs. He slipped his sword from the scabbard and jumped into the melee.

The leader broke free of the chaos and zeroed in on Angel. His back was turned, facing another opponent, and Kurgan of the Phonoi took full advantage. He lunged forward and thrust his sword tip at Angel's exposed back.

He didn't connect.

An enraged Slayer caught his blade with her own. "Didn't your mother ever tell you, it's rude to point." she quipped as she kicked the sharp sword out of his hands.

After a second of anger he lunged at the bitch who dared to interrupt his assassination attempt. "I've never lost, I refuse to be destroyed by a..." He never finished.

Angel's sword disconnected the man's head before he could.

"Oops, was he still talking? I guess that was rude...oh well. I'm over it." He sent her a grin before they jumped back into the melee.

...

Ten minutes of fighting left three people on their feet. The three warriors were bruised and each sported a few bloody wounds, but nothing crippling. They each just stood breathing a few minutes, each acknowledging they were fine and grateful they all survived.

Angel's eyes scanned the vast room and fell upon a book.

It was dark leather, ancient looking but far from fragile. Some of the pages, those in the front of the book were yellowed and frayed with age, however those pages at the back were white clean and crisp. He was drawn to it, and upon opening it he discovered why.

He looked down upon the contract, the contract out on his life. The lettering wasn't in ink, but glowed an eerie incandescent red, magically generated for sure. He reached down and tore the document from the open book; he scanned it a moment, reading the words with a mix of both disgust and strangely enough pride.

It was no surprise Wolfram & Hart's logo appeared in the client space.

With a satisfying sound, the paper was torn to shreds; a small flick of light escaped as the contract's power was broken, thus ending the commission on his life.

He turned and looked over at Buffy, who was helping wrap a bandage around Giles arm, his first genuine smile in a long time.

"It's over." He said when she was finished and was walking over towards him.

She smiled too, for the first time in a long time, seeing a chance at a real future, a future with the man she has loved for nearly a decade.

Neither noticed one of the assassins was not as dead as he first appeared. He looked around and saw his family and friends slain, the whole life he knew was gone. Anger and rage flooded the fallen soldier, this was no longer about honor or contracts, the vampire was going to die…if it was the last thing he did.

Jordan was a young man, raised by the Order, but he was also one of the few to let in the knowledge of the modern world. Especially the knowledge of the modern weapon. Unbeknownst to his family, he carried such a technological masterpiece. He trained with it in his spare time, he knew how to use it. It would be now, those many hours of practice would be spent to avenge his brethren.

Buffy was almost to Angel when the shots screamed from the gun. Angel's smile vanished as his body jerked with each blast, he wavered a moment, then his eyes rolled back into his head.

He dropped lifeless to the ground.

Giles had seen the gunman as he fired the shots, the man never got to number four.

Buffy stared at the assassin a moment, seeing Giles kill the man freed her from the task.

Immediately her thought returned to the man who had been shot. '_Angel!_'

Angel lay sprawled where he had fallen, face pale and body still.

Buffy fell to her knees beside him, "Angel?" she called.

He didn't answer.

Nearly insane with fear, she reached down and ripped his shirt open. She almost expected to see his chest in ribbons, blood and bone mixed together in a horrifying fun-house of gore.

It wasn't.

What she saw was the Kevlar vest she had forced him to wear after they made the stop at the police station before acting as bait.

The bullets were caught in the metal platting, never getting the chance to enter his body.

The Kevlar might reduce the likelihood of a bullet tearing into the body, but the projectiles energy is still absorbed by the wearer, and thus can still cause damage. She quickly unfastened the vest and looked down at his chest. Where the bullets hit the vest, right above his heart, there were painful looking bruises already forming.

Buffy gently prodded the area, hoping no bones were broken.

"How is he?" Giles asked as he stood beside her.

Buffy looked up at him, "Alive. Vest worked, nothing seems broken, just bruised."

Angel gasped as he suddenly snapped back to consciousness; he screamed a colorful collection of curses, mostly in Gaelic, as he tried to sit up and clutched his throbbing chest.

Buffy quickly pulled him against her chest, holding him as he raged in pain. "Shh, it's ok. You're ok."

After a minute, the red haze faded and Angel felt Buffy's strong arms holding him. He relaxed into her grip, letting her voice chase the rage away.

He felt her hand brush through his hair and down his cheek. "Angel? Can you hear me?" she asked, worried when she felt him sag against her.

He looked up at her, green eyes flashing with worry. He gave her the best smile he could through the pain, "Yeah…I'm…I'll be ok." He pulled back and sat up, pain clear on his features. "Man, that f*cking hurts." He mumbled rubbing the tender spot on his chest.

She slid next to him, "Bet not as bad as if the bullets went in."She countered, giving him an 'I-told-you-so' smirk.

He looked at her, "Is that your version of I told you so?" he asked amused.

She smiled, "Maybe."

He shook his head, "Actually it would hurt less if he did shoot me….I've be pleasantly dead."

She punched him in the arm, "Don't say that! I've put way too much time and energy into keeping you alive for talk like that."

He grinned, Buffy acting as a natural pain relief. "Ok, ok. You win…just don't add anymore bruises ok?" he added rubbing the spot she punched him.

She shook her head, "Big baby" she teased.

"Am not." he mumbled before their lips met.

Giles quietly turned and walked away as the two lovers kissed their pains away.

* * *

The End (Of the first story in this ridiculously long arc anyways.) No promises when those will be published.

...

P.S. I'm sure Spike will be miffed he missed out on seeing Angel shot down.


	5. Stepping Stones

These are a collection of stories that take place between some of the more major ones. In all honesty, it's complete OCD, in needing to fill in all the gaps of the story...I'm trying not to do this...mostly random nothingness. But I wrote it...so here it is.

* * *

May 24, 2004

Buffy was curled up next to Angel in the bed; he was fully recovered from his run-in with three bullets, only a sore chest and a bruised ego to show. Buffy didn't mind, alive was alive. They had just made love again, for the how many-ith time now? She hadn't a clue.

As she lay there, listening to his heartbeat, she realized something. _'He's human…so does than mean he can have kids? Can he get me pregnant? Oh god, what if I already am?_' Suddenly unsure if she was happy or terrified at the prospect of children, she wormed her way from his sleeping grasp and tossed on some clothes.

She scratched a quick, _'Be right back_. _P.S. I love you_.' Signed with a kiss, her lipstick leaving a perfect imprint of her lips and placed it on his chest.

She slipped out of the borrowed apartment and to the corner store across the street. Cautiously she went inside, the structure wasn't as badly damaged by the earthquake as the department store had been, but she wasn't about to take any chances.

She stopped walking when she reached her destination, "Hmm, which one" she wondered aloud as she stared at the collection of condoms on the wall, well the ones that were _still_ on the rack after the earthquake.

"Ultra thin, ribbed, bareskin…Ooh what's this, Fire and Ice. I'll grab one of these. 10 pack? Really? Only 10? That's like the warm-up" she grinned to herself and kept looking for others.

"Hmm, durex pleasure pack, I'll sang one of these and…Trojan Ecstasy…ok, I'm game. She was about to walk off when she spotted Trojan Her Pleasure, she grab one of those too."

Arms now full she was about to head back home to try her new toys when she walked by the pregnancy tests. '_Too soon to tell but I might as well grab a few._'

She pulled a plastic bag from behind the counter, loaded up her goodies, and was off.

...

She snuck back in, she knew Angel was up and didn't want him to see what she had got, not just yet anyways. Thankfully he was in the shower, so she slid the bag under the bed, removing the pregnancy tests and hiding them in her slayer bag.

The door to Giles room was still shut she noticed as she walked into the kitchen to find something to munch on, _'Hmm, is he still sleeping? Always known him to be an early bird.'_ She wanted to knock, but didn't want to wake him if he was asleep.

Her attention drifted as a pair of damp arms wrapped about her waist.

"You're wet." She giggled as Angel kissed her cheek from behind, his wet hair brushing against her.

"Where did you run off to this morning?" he asked, honestly curious.

She turned in his arms, wrapping her arms around his waist, he wore nothing but his sweats, his bare chest pressed teasingly against her. "Wanted to get a few things, I'll show you later." She finishing by letting her lips brush his.

They kissed, it was sweet, not entirely innocent, but that wasn't a problem anymore. When they pulled apart he grinned down at her, "Good Morning." He greeted, remembering he hadn't said it yet.

She smiled up at him, "Yes, it was." She teased, think about their earlier loving.

After a moment they pulled apart, a grumble from his stomach alerting her that food was a necessity, he agreed, figuring there was always time for pleasure afterwards.

He made them pancakes again, there wasn't a whole lot to choose from, no power still and not much left in the cupboards by now.

'_All we've done in the last few days is make love and eat…I could get used to this…_' she thought happily as he watched him cook.

True to her earlier thought, after they satisfied their hunger, they had something else they wanted to satisfy.

To the casual observer, their near constant attention to their desires may seem a little over the top; but both had loved one another deeply for years, and neither could ever act of that love. Now, after years apart, and without any consequences, they were free to love. They took advantage of the situation, both making up for way too much lost time.

Angel had spent nearly a century celibate, overwhelmed by guilt and remorse after his soul was restored, he hadn't given much thought to sex.

Another century of physical Hell, a vast wasteland of demons, and fire, and pain; his tortured soul had found no love in Acathla's dimension, save for what little memory of Buffy he clung to.

Now, he had it all; a heartbeat, no curse, Buffy in his arms and nearly two centuries worth of lost love. He didn't question it, never even thought to. He was determined to make up for that lost time.

Buffy hadn't spent two century without love, but it often felt like it to her. Ever since her 17th birthday, before his curse broke, she had wanted nothing but to feel him forever.

His demon mocking their love had devastated her, but not more than the fact his turning meant he was now denied to her, that she would never get to experience him the way she really wanted to. Her innocence had stood as a barrier, a hurdle that had to be climbed before she ever could have enjoyed him the way she wanted to. It wasn't in the cards then.

A few months later, she killed him, and she felt as a part of her heart died with him. After his return, it was worse. He was within reach, but in the same breath, completely out of love only grew, but had no outlet.

Once he left, her heart tired to release the stored love Angel unconsciously build within her, but no man she was with had the right key. She tried, even attempted to force the lock a few times, some even got close to cracking it, but in the end, only Angel could release it from her. And right now, he was, the locked door was open, and he was completely invited.

She felt his lips on her neck, a trail of fire blazing in his wake. The soft mattress pressing against her back as he positioned atop her, the feel of his arousal, the very power she had over him, slipping down against her.

Then she remembered the condoms.

"Wait!" she yelped pulling herself back from him. He jumped back immediately, as if stung. "What? Did I…are you ok?" he asked confused and worried he did something wrong.

"I forgot something." She said, leaning over the edge of the bed and fishing out the bag she stuffed under it earlier. Once retrieved, she settled back onto the bed and reached inside, yanking open the first box and grabbing out a small foil wrapper. She let the bag fall to the floor and held the item out to him.

He took it with a still confused expression. "What is it?"

She raised an eyebrow, "You're kidding…right?" she asked.

He returning looked proved he wasn't.

"It's a condom, you know, a rubber, safe-sex, protection…."She explained.

A light flickered in his eyes, "Oh, yeah." He mumbled, looking worried. Another thought suddenly surface, "Oh god, I'm human…I can…you can…we could…" she leaned forward and placed a kiss on his panicked lips.

"That's what these are to prevent." She said plucking the package from his hand and opening it. "How could you not know what this was?" she asked him, shaking her head, "It's like the first thing guys learn."

He looked at her a moment, the told her blandly, "They didn't have those when I was last human, and pregnancy's not much of and issue when your dead."

She handed him the unwrapped condom. He took it and looked at it a moment, "I don't think I'll fit." He deadpanned, seeing it as nothing but a flat disk.

She laugh and told him to just put it on. After a second, she realized he had no clue how. She snatched it back from him and prepared to show him how. "Well first we need to fix that." She mumbled disappointed at his current lack of arousal.

"Oh, sorry." He shrugged, her sudden yell of 'wait' had stolen his 'moment'.

She smiled, "I can fix that." She said drawing his lips to hers and inviting her tongue in to play. With one hand around his neck the other slid down his chest, then to his stomach, then to his groin.

He groaned into her mouth as her hand stroked him back to attention. Base to tip, base to tip, steady pressure, a little squeeze when she got to the tip.

When she was satisfied he was aroused, she let go of him and drew his attention back to the little piece of plastic. "So, to put it on, you just place it on top." She held up two fingers, put the condom on them and showed him how to unwrap. "But make sure it's right side up, or else you have a little hat and not much else." She demonstrated with her fingers.

He chuckled despite his complete hate at something that will get between him and Buffy on an intimate level.

Instead of handing it to him, she reached down and placed it of his member, and very slowly pushed it down his length. He leaned forward and groaned into her neck.

"How's it feel?" she asked, laying back down and pulling him with her.

"Like I have a piece of plastic on my dick." He mumbled annoyed.

"Oh come on, it's can't be that bad." She said kissing him.

He held his tongue, or would have if Buffy's wasn't warring with it. He figured if her bare body wasn't pressed as tightly against him as if was, his arousal wouldn't have lasted two seconds with the rubber on it.

"I think it's too tight." He whispered into her hair. "It's supposed to be tight." She replied, "So it stays on."

His thoughts faded as she drew him against her, resuming where they had left off.

Actually he forgot everything but her for at least half an hour.

"Ok that's unpleasant." He cringed at the feeling of the condom as they lay together, resting for the moment.

"It's only good for one round." Buffy said sitting up.

"One? What's the point then? Wait…do I need to put a new one on _every_ time!" he exhaled.

She nodded, "Kind of the definition of 'one time'" She shook her head at him acting like a little kid at being told to brush his teeth every night.

She got up and grabbed the wastebasket by the bed, "Here."

He looked down at the crumbled mess that was a used condom, peeled the wet plastic off, and tossed it. "Gross." He cringed.

She shook her head again, "Baby."

"It's unnatural." He muttered.

She placed the basket close and jumped back into bed, snuggling up against him.

"Well…it's either that…or celibacy." She said, not meaning it but just wanting to see what buttons she could push.

His eyes widened in alarm, "You wouldn't." he defended.

She just shrugged.

After a moment of silence, "What about those pills…birth control." He asked.

She looked up at him, "Doesn't work with Slayers." She countered.

"How do you know?" he returned.

"Slayer's don't have a typical reproductive system, we're built different than normal girls." She replied.

"Seems pretty normal to me." He grinned.

She giggled and slapped his chest, "Inside. Not out. Think back, do you ever remembering me having a period?"

The question caught him and he did think, as a vampire he would have smelled the blood, no questions asked. He couldn't remember even once smelling her menstrual cycle; Willow, Cordy, just about every other woman…not Buffy…or Faith. "No, I guess I haven't." he answered, a little shocked he never noticed.

"Yeah, it's part of the whole Slayer package, so the Chosen One doesn't have to skip a week of slayer every month because the vamps can smell her coming a mile away." She paused a moment, letting her head rest on Angel's shoulder. "According to Giles, and a few of his books, some Slayers did have children. Or at least they conceived them. Most didn't survive to term."She said sadly.

Angel looked over at her, sorrow etched on her face. "Slayer's can't carry to term?"

She shook her head, "No, they can physically. Just they're still Slayers, the world's only defense against the darkness. They either loose the baby fighting, or they're slowed down just enough and they fail, they die." She said sadly.

He understood her fear of conceiving now, he kissed her temple, "Let's just leave the children talk to far, far from now…ok" he asked.

She nodded against his chest, "Ok."

After that talk, neither felt anymore desire.

...

A knock of the bedroom door caught their attention.

They dressed and found Giles sitting at the kitchen table, a radio in his hands.

"What's the word?" Buffy asked upon seeing the device.

Giles looked up at them, "Ah, good, you're up. I've been listening for a few days now." He told them, indicating the radio. "Seems like recovery crews are beginning to re-enter the city. Reconstruction starts today, on the outer limits of the city. Crews from all over are being imported to help with such an immense undertaking. I believe by this time tomorrow, we will no longer be alone." He concluded.

"Well, there you have it. Oh, I guess we need to move then, I don't think the owners would be thrilled to know we've been sleeping in their bed." Buffy mentioned.

"Among other things." Angel mumbled just loud enough for her to hear.

She elbowed him lightly. He just pulled her back against him, him arms hung loosely around her waist.

"Yes, Buffy." Giles said, "We must look for other accommodations."

"I know a place." Angel supplied. "If it's still standing." He added a second later.

...

Within hours, they packed whatever personal items they had into the car Angel hot-wired earlier and were making slow progress thought the debris crowded streets.

Angel sighed in relief when the Hyperion hotel appeared from around a corner, relatively intact. They got out of the car and headed inside to check for unseen issues.

Twenty minutes later they stood in the hotel lobby, "Well I've seen it worse." Angel admitted.

Giles nodded, "Yes, the hotel seems structurally sound enough. How do you know we won't be disturbed?" he asked the former vampire.

"I own it." Angel admitted.

"You own it, as in this place…the whole thing?" Buffy asked, stunned.

He grinned, "Yeah, couldn't have done it without David Nabbit, it's incredible what that man can do with money."

"Did you say David Nabbit? As in one of the richest people in the world?" Giles asked.

"Yeah, he's a major nerd, but he's smart…kinda scary smart." The Irishman verified.

The trio decided to clean up the hotel as much as they could, knowing it would more than likely be 'home' for a while.

Angel led Buffy to his old room and Giles picked one out well away from them. He heard more than enough noises from their closed bedroom door; and quiet frankly, he wished to never hear anything even similar again.

Before the people arrived, Giles, Buffy and Angel went on a shopping spree, gathering all the items necessary to live at the hotel. Food, clothes, linens, toiletries, etc...

That night, the three were sitting in the lobby, discussing the finer points of living, over a few bottles of fine wine.

"So that's how it is then huh?"

They turned to see Spike standing in the doorway.

"We all risk our necks for you, fight the good bloody fight, and do we get? Left to rot while you prance off with the girl. Typical." Spike swallowed his anger at being denied entry to the hotel by the barrier across the threshold.

"Spike?" Angel stammered, having completely forgetting about the souled vampire. He quickly got to his feet and walking up to the stairs to the doorway. "Listen, I meant to come back…" he began, feeling two inches high for leaving his team as he did.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Got yourself a heartbeat and out goes all the fight in ya."spike said rolling his eyes.

Angel shook his head, "By the time I recovered, the fight was over. Not to mention I then had Wolfram & Harts assassins after me…" he cringed.

Spike sent his a mock yawn, "Yeah well good for you. I'm happy for you, really."

Angel didn't need superhuman powers to sense the hurt and anger in Spike. They had fought bitterly over the Shanshu prophecy but the outcome wasn't for them to decide. However Spike did win the fight between them that day, and the blond honestly felt he should have gotten something for his efforts; well in addition to the huge ego boost following whipping Angel's ass.

"Spike, the assassins made me mortal, this isn't the Shanshu prophecy." The newly living vampire admitted.

Spike's blue eyes perked at that, "Really? Now that's something interesting, so with you being all non-vampire with a soul now…" Spike thought aloud.

"Does that make you the only candidate." Angel finished for him.

Spike nodded, "Something like that."

Angel took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, "I should tell you, not long before the fight, I was forced to sign away the prophecy. Looks like it's yours now." He said, almost sad he wouldn't be living the destiny he thought he would.

He cast a glance at Buffy, sitting still to give the two a moment to clear the air, and suddenly didn't give a rat's ass about the Shanshu, he had a destiny, her.

"So, you gunna lever me here standing in the cold forever?' Spike asked annoyed.

For the first time Angel noticed the barrier keeping the vampire out, he had never needed to, or been able to, invite anyone into his home before. He grinned, realizing the power in it. "I could." He realized with a smirk.

"You asshole." Spike mumbled under his breath.

"Fine, Come in, Spike." Angel spoke, watching the nearly invisible barrier vanish.

"About bloody time" the blond vampire muttered as he walked past him and towards Buffy.

'_I hope I didn't just make a huge mistake letting Spike have free range of my home._'

Angel looked over at Giles and the watcher sent him a glare that screamed, '_Why did you just bloody do that?_'

Angel shrugged. '_Well I did nearly get him killed…plus he is one of the good guys, usually._' He tried to convey to the alive Englishman in the room.

"Left me standing pet, thought we had a date." Spike grinned as he slid into Angel's empty seat beside Buffy.

She shrugged, "Sorry, kinda took place at noon…you know…with the sun shinning bright and all deadly like."

He shook his head and leaning back, making himself quite at home. "I guess we'll need to reschedule…" He would have continued, but Angel's iron grip on his shoulder pulled the blond vamp off the couch.

"She's busy." He growled to the vamp as he sat back in his place.

Spike chuckled, mockingly wiping the spot Angel's finger had dug into his shoulder as he tossed him from the seat, "Oh? Is that right Buffy? Does Dragon Breath here make all your decisions for you now?" Spike knew he was pushing some major buttons, but he needed to know exactly where Buffy stood. If there was even the slightest change to be with her…he would jump head first.

She turned to Angel, curious how he would answer that question.

He looked back at her a second, uncomfortable with Spike sticking his cold nose into his business. '_What else is new? He's done that since the night Dru brought him home with her like some hungry puppy_.'

"No, I don't make those kinds of choices for her anymore." He pause a moment, a little smile of triumph on his lips, "I have no power over who she associated with, but… I will not abide my girlfriend making _dates_ with anyone but me."

Buffy smiled at the word girlfriend, just as he hoped she would. "I'm your girlfriend?" she asked excitedly, having not been that stage for a long time and finding she really was looking forward to it.

"Of course you are." He agreed, drawing her in for a kiss.

Spike frowned at the kiss.

Giles poured himself a rather generous amount of wine into his glass. He then decided he was determined to keep his nose out of this awful love triangle so he took the glass and one of the bottles and headed for his room.

"Bet Nina wouldn't be too pleased to hear that." Spike said loud enough for Buffy to hear.

She pulled back from Angel's inviting lips a moment, "Nina? Who's Nina?" she asked her boyfriend.

'_I'm gunna stake that son of a crazy bitch!_' Angel raged in is head.

Spike grinned, "What? You didn't tell your girlfriend about your other girlfriend…shame, shame Angel."

Buffy's eyes stormed over, _'He has a girlfriend? I'm staking him for this!_'

Buffy pulled back and Angel raised his hands in defense, "She was, past tense. It was never serious." He urged.

Spike laughed, "Like I couldn't smell the sex on you." Spike huffed.

_'IFuckingHateHimRightNow!'_ Angel screamed in his head.

Buffy's eyes widened, "You…you slept with her!" she was off the couch by now, staking seriously close to one of the wooden chairs.

Spike had a grin like he was watching a much loved movie.

"Like you didn't have boyfriends!" Angel yelled back in defense.

"I wouldn't risk _my soul_ if I slept with them." She hollered back.

"I didn't!" he yelled, then his shoulder slumped, "You're the only one who could have done that." He admitted quieter.

She turned to glare at him, "What do you mean by that?" she demanded.

He shook his head, collapsed back down onto the couch and held his hands in his head, after a moment he continued. "I've been with other woman Buffy, none of them ever made me happy. You're the only one who ever gave me perfect happiness. I think you're the only one who can."

Buffy digested that then asked, "So where is she now?" wondering what happened to this girl.

"Gone." He said simply.

"Where?" Buffy repeated.

"She left, I sent her away." He stood and paced, "Look, I cared for her Buffy, as I'm sure you cared for the boyfriends you've had. Cordy had just died, my team, _my friends_, were dealing with their own issues…and I needed someone. If you want to judge me for that…go ahead, I won't deny it. She wasn't the one I wanted…but I needed someone to talk to, someone to confide in. I let her ease the pain as best she could."

Buffy seemed calmer now, but still curious, "How did it end?"

He didn't try to hide anything, "She realized I couldn't give her my heart, that it already belonged to someone else." He finished looking down at the stone floor, not wanting to see the hurt in Buffy's eyes.

They had spent so much time together recently that he couldn't bare to see all their happiness purged from her eyes in only seconds.

She thought about that, she could relate. That is what eventually tore her and Riley apart…her heart had still belonged to Angel, whether she wanted it to or not…still did.

He looked up when he felt her fingers curl around his hand, "I know the feeling." She admitted quietly.

They stood still a moment, just letting the anger dissipate.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her." He said after a while.

"No, it wasn't my business. I'm sorry I freaked on you. I guess I just got so used to the idea you couldn't be with anyone…I never thought you could…Is this how you felt when you found out about Riley?" she asked looking up at him.

She had never had to deal with Angel from this angle before, she had accused him once when she walked in on him consoling Faith, but that hadn't romantic. The idea of him with another woman hadn't even been conceivable. She figured it must have been the same for him.

He gave her a weak smile, "Pretty much."

"Can we take some time just talk, just tell each other about everything that happened in our lives? I don't want to hide anything anymore, and I don't want the past to come back and bite us again." She asked him, drawing closer.

He wrapped his arms around her, "Of course. We can start tonight." He offered.

She shook her head, "No, tonight…lets just…apologize? Get back to where we were?" she asked.

He smirked, "Make-up sex?" he asked.

She smiled back, "Maybe."

They leaned forward and sealed the deal with a kiss.

"Oh for god's sake! If you're just going to kiss and make up, I'm going to bed." Spike huffed out, arms tossed in the air for dramatic effect and he walked upstairs to find an empty room.

They ignored him for the moment. Just a moment.

When the kiss ended Angel went for the wooden chair. "I'm staking him, right here, right now." He grumbled as he prepared to shattering it and grab a shard of wood.

Buffy grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop, she whispered something in his ear them turned and ran upstairs to their room.

Angel looked at the chair, then the stairs, after a second he decided and ran after Buffy.

...

What did she whisper?

"If you're not in bed with me in one minute, no sex for a month."

Kill Spike or sex with Buffy? No contest at all.

* * *

May 26, 2004

Only days after the entire city was deserted, the people were back. Jobs resumed, schools reopened, lives continued, like nothing had happened, that's what Californians do after a quake. Clean-up crews worked night and day to clear the rubble and rebuild what couldn't be salvaged.

In typical demon hot spot areas like L.A., no one seemed to remember anything beyond an earthquake hit the city, ruptured gas lines had caused it to be abandoned until they could be repaired. If they only knew what really happened, if they only knew about the demon army, or the law firm that had funded the entire project.

Wolfram & Hart seemed to have disappeared after the fall; their conduits to the senior partners severed, the Circle of the Black Thorn destroyed, their vast budget spent, and their war with Angel, filed as a total loss.

They weren't destroyed forever, but they certainly had no intentions of messing with that souled vampire again for a long, long time. The senior partners abandoned L.A., deciding that town was too much of a risk, an expensive and often painful risk.

Since the people started to return, Buffy and Angel had to leave their temporary home, unsure of where to go, he suggested the Hyperion Hotel. It was close and still technically in his name. They set up home in his old room while Giles was called back to England to see to the new Slayer's school and training facility.

They all decided Spike should go with Giles, to help train new slayers. What better trainer to kill vampires than an actual vampire? The blond vamp had grumbled, but in the end, agreed. It was that or stay in the same hotel as Buffy and Angel, and frankly he wanted no part of that. All he could smell was their sex in the air. It made him want to heave.

...

Angel snuck back into the Hyperion; he didn't want Buffy to know where he had been. He would tell her, it was part of their 'terms' of starting a relationship again, but just not right now.

'_Golden rule: No more secrets. You know something or I know something, we share. No more making rash decisions for each other without talking about it first.'_ Her voice echoed in his head.

He was still shaken by the news he just learned; he couldn't talk to her yet. He went into his old office and sat heavily in his chair, mind lost in thought.

"ANGEL!"

He snapped back to reality when Buffy practically yelled his name, "Huh? What? Why are you yelling?"

She quickly crossed the space between them and sat on the desk in front of him, "I wasn't, not the first three times I called you…What's up? Where were you?"

He sighed, "Sorry, I…was thinking."

She shook her head, "More like brooding. I thought we talked about you stopping that, or at least cutting back."

"I know. I'm sorry. I went for a walk earlier, to clear my head. It's just hard, being human again. I'm still working out the kinks." He answered, hated lying to her but hoping she believed him.

She slid off the desk and into his lap. "I want to help, talk to me." she said, running a hand along his cheek.

"I will, just…not right now. Ok?" he answered, wrapping him arms around her and holding her close.

She nodded against his chest, "Alright."

He had only been alive for a week and things between them had been very up and down the last few days. Mostly them moving their bodies up and down on each other in various positions around the clock.

She still had trouble believing this was real, that he was human, they were together, and that they had a shot at a life with each other, a semi-normal life. Things were still so new between them, she couldn't get enough of the fact he was warm, and breathed, and had a heartbeat.

'_And now he's sneaking off and is constantly zoned out…why won't he talk to me?_'

...

They walked hand and hand down the sunny streets of L.A. The recent trip to the ice cream shop earned them both a triple scoop Cookie Dough Fudge Mint Chip.

"Mmm…I love cookie dough" Angel mumbled as he eagerly licked his cone.

Buffy sent him an arched eyebrow, but he was too busy with his dessert to notice.

'_Was he referring to the ice cream…or me? He's never going to let me forget that analogy_.' She shrugged her shoulders and walked along beside him, until she realized he wasn't beside her. She stopped and looked back; he was standing on the sidewalk looking into the fenced in lot they had just passed.

"I'll be damned." He whispered then quickly ran into the office area.

Curious as to what he was doing, she walked back and read the sign. 'L.A. City Impound'. '_What the Hell does he want with the city impound?_' she wondered.

A few minutes later Angel exited the office and began quickly walking back towards the hotel.

"Hey, what's up? Why are we rushing?" She asked as he hurried back home.

"It'll be a surprise." is all he said.

When they entered the hotel he went straight into his office and began digging thought some old file boxes. He seemed to find what he was looking for then was about to run out the door when Buffy grabbed his arm.

"Where are you going now? And me and surprises…not such a great mix. Splainy?"

He grinned then looked like he just remembered something; he opened a few drawers in the desk, grabbed a set of keys then said as he walked towards the door. "I'll explain when I get back, promise. We'll go for a drive." Then he was gone.

Buffy huffed and sat down on the desk, her fingers still sticky from the eaten ice cream. "Drive? Drive what?" she asked the hotel. "He has a car?"

Twenty minutes later a horn beeped outside, she walked over to the window and glanced out. She spotted Angel sitting in a black convertible.

'_What the…_' she wondered as she headed outside.

He beamed her the biggest smile she'd seen on him that day so far and he patted the seat beside him. "Wanna go for a spin?"

She shook her head but opened the passenger door and slid in. "Since when do you own a car?" She asked him.

"A car? Buffy, this isn't just _a car_. It's a 1967 Plymouth Belvedere GTX Convertible. Only 2,026 of these babies were made." He added with more than a little pride as he caressed the steering wheel.

Buffy nodded, "Ah huh." '_Wow, L.A. really changes people, now Angel has a sense of humor and an affinity for muscle cars. Wonder if he has any other surprises up his sleeve._'

...

Later that night Buffy pushed Angel off of her and rolled away from him. "What? What's wrong?" he asked sitting up, confused as to why he was being suddenly shunned.

"Your heart's not in it." She said curling around her pillow and still not facing him.

"What?" He asked again, "Of course it is…" he tried but she cut him off.

"No it isn't." She turned and faced him, sitting up. "You've been spaced all day! Something is obviously bothering you and except for the hour long rant about how great your car is, you haven't said a word! If you can't even talk to me about it…"

"Buffy, I'm sorry…" he tried, reached a hand out to her shoulder.

She ducked away from his hand, "No, stop saying you're sorry. I'm tired of hearing that."

They both sat silent for a moment. '_Is this how it's going to be? Are we going to fight forever? Are we too different now to be a couple?'_ Her mind asked, her mouth too afraid to open and express the ideas, fearing he would disappear from her life again, forever this time.

He took a deep breath then sighed, "I went to see a doctor today" he said slowly.

Her green eyes shot up at him, "What? Why? Is something wrong? Are you OK?" She scooted over to him and looked him over quickly, fear clearly blazing in her green orbs.

He met her eyes, "I'm not really sure. I went in…because I needed to know I was healthy. I wanted to make sure…I'd be around for awhile. That I would be here for you."

He remembered vividly when Darla was resurrected she wasn't fully restored to health, the syphilis that was killing her in life had returned, Angel had been terrified that could have happened to him.

'_Am I sick too? Did Darla pass it on to me? Could I pass it to Buffy?'_

Even if Darla didn't pass it to him, he had been 'around' even before Darla fixated on him, he slept with nearly every eligible woman in Galway_. _

_'I can't do that to Buffy…give her a disease.' _

As soon as the concept occurred to him, he made sure the condoms she had supplied a few days earlier were always in reach. He was determined to protect her from the possibility.

Today, the doctor's office reopened, and he went.

Her eyes never left his, "And?" she asked.

He took another deep breath, "They took some tests, blood work." He half smiled, "Something tells me I failed. He tried to have me admitted. Kinda went on a rant about how 'it's not possible', and 'this is unprecedented'…I didn't hang around long enough to hear anymore."

The sexually transmitted diseases, for some unknown but extremely thankful reason came back negative. But the other blood work…not so much.

She looked panicked, "So you left?! What if you're…you need to go back!"

"Buffy"

"What if you need medications?"

"Buffy"

"Or…or an operation? Or maybe…maybe…"

"Buffy!" He said again and grabbed her in a tight hug.

She clung to him, like his life depended on it, and cried into his chest.

"Shh, Buffy. We don't know it's bad. I could be perfectly fine. I mean, my body was dead for 250 years, well 350 including hell, but that's beside the point, it could be normal to fail those test under the circumstances."

She looked up at him, tears streaking her face, "I just got you back, I don't want to lose you…I can't lose you…I don't know what I'd do."

He held her tighter. "I don't feel like I'm dying, and I should know, had a lot of experience in that field. I'm sure everything will be fine."

After a few minutes she calmed down enough and sat back, her back resting against his chest as he sat against the headboard.

"Buffy, there is one test I got back you should know about."

She turned, looked up at him again, fearing the worst.

"It's won't impact my health" he reassured her, "But it might impact _us_."

She crinkled her brow, "What is it?"

He looked down a moment, then back at her, "I…I can't have children."

She blinked a few times, a huge weight crushed down on her heart, but she refused to let him see how much it hurt. _'No.' _

She shook her head and put of a convincing front, "Well it's not like you could before anyways, I guess…it makes sense. Plus kids and me, not a good combo. I'm so not ready for kids, way not ready."

'_I really wanted your babies.'_ She curled up against him, head resting on his shoulder, her hand resting over his heart, "Even if I wanted them someday, we could adopt, or get a donor…we could still raise a family…if you wanted to."

He reached up and took her hand in his, "I'd like that

* * *

Buffy shivered as she woke up, she looked down and noticed her bare body was exposed to the cool night air permeating through the Hyperion's walls. She turned her head and looked at the man sleeping beside her.

Angel had once again stolen the blankets during the night.

'_Man's been cold as, well death, for 250 years, and now he's a blanket hog. Go figure._' She glared at the sleeping form, was trying to decide whether to wake him up or just yank the sheets away from him.

"This is the third time this week you've stolen the covers." She grumbled to him out loud, "You leave me here all bare, cold, and shivering…"

She would have continued to rant, but Angel's arm wrapped around her waist and she was pulled snugly against him.

Her body instantly warmed being pressed so close to his.

"Mmm, this is more like it." She mumbled. "You can keep the lousy blanket, you're much warmer."

As she fell back to sleep, she thought, '_Angel, my favorite blanket_.

* * *

"This isn't going to work." Angel said aloud while staring off at the ceiling. Buffy, who had been dozing against his chest, instantly snapped back to full awareness. "What?" She sat up and said quickly; alarmed he meant them as a couple wouldn't work.

He glanced down at her a second, "The Hotel." He clarified, and then looked back up at the ceiling. "It's too big and costly and isn't homey enough for us. I mean, yeah, I did live here for a last few years…but it's just doesn't feel right for us. We need a smaller place, a real home."

"You want to buy a house?" Buffy asked, not hiding her enthusiasm for the idea. '_He wants to live together! In a real house! Our house! Yay_!'

He looked at her, "Why not? Unless you don't want to…" He started wondering if he was pushing too far too fast.

"No! No I do. A house sounds good…great even. I'm just a little surprised you suggested it. You know, you're not really known as Mr. Stay-in-town."

He winced at the accusation, but wasn't actually able to deny it. He had left her on numerous occasions.

"I know what the past has been like, but it's different now, I'm different now. I want us to get back on track, and before I _left_ we were sorta at the move in together stage, well at least the 'have some of your stuff at my place' stage. I just thought maybe we can take it one step further, see how it goes from there?" He finished looked to her for an opinion.

She smiled, "Yeah, yeah that sounds good." She said resting her head over his heart again. "Where will we move? When? Will Dawn come with us? Do we have the money?" She asked and turned her head to look down at him.

He grinned his little half smile. "I guess we have some things to talk about."

* * *

June 5, 2004

Buffy was sitting in the lobby, sharpening a pile of stakes for tonight's patrol. Not that they usually found much while patrolling, normally they just ended up repeating her high school years with smoochies in a cemetery, which was just fine with her.

The hotel's front door opened and a young man walked in. She looked up surprised since the hotel was obviously not open for business. She instinctually tightened her grip on the stake in her hand, suspicious and more than a little willing to get her Slay on.

"Can I help you with something?" she asked the kid, getting to her feet and walking towards him.

He looked around, as if he was trying to remember something. "Umm, maybe. I…ahh…I used to know the people who lived here. Do you know where they went?" he asked.

She looked him over, he looked to be in his late teens, longish brown hair, and blue eyes…something about those eyes gave her pause.

"Depends, who specifically are you looking for?" she asked.

He shrugged, "My fa-… ahh… Angel. I'm looking for Angel." He finished more confidently.

She looked him over again, closer now she could see what had given her a minor wiggins, he looked like Angel. His eyes were a different color, but the likeness was obvious. Her eyes widened as she looked at the boy, suddenly realizing who he was.

Angel and she had spent a few days just talking…talking about _everything_ in their lives the past few years. He told her everything about Darla and Connor. This boy was obviously _their_ son.

"You're Connor aren't you, you're Angel's son." she asked almost in disbelief. She believed Angel when he told her about the boy and the circumstanced of his birth and life, but seeing him in the flesh was something else entirely.

He looked back startled; he didn't expect her to know him. He knew Angel had altered reality so everyone's memories of him were erased. He only remembered everything after Wesley destroyed the Orlon Window used in the spell on him, and he defiantly would have remembered the beauty in front of him had she been in the old memories.

"Ahh…yeah…who are you? How do you know me?" he asked curious, also sizing her up incase he needed to fight her. Looking at her he didn't think that would be a problem if it came to that, he didn't sense vampire in her.

She smiled and stepped forward, "Angel told me about you, well I kinda had to wrestle the info out of him. I'm Buffy." she said offering her hand to Connor.

He was reluctant at first, but shook anyways. "Wrestled?" he asked, wondering how a little thing like her could compete with a master vampire.

She squeezed his hand, tight. She grinned, "Sometimes I let him win." She answered vaguely. She had no intentions of going into the details of her and Angel sex life to his son.

He was surprised by her strength. "What are you?" he asked, this close he could sense something more than human about her.

She grinned, "Angel never told you about me huh? I'll guess I can't blame him, we were kinda seeing other people at the time. He said you met Faith, do you remember her?" she asked.

He nodded, defiantly recalling the sexy dark Slayer. He nodded in understanding, "Oh, I heard there were two Slayers, you're the other one."

She nodded, not used to being referred to as 'the other one'. "Yeah, more than just two Slayers now, but that's beside the point."

He suddenly stiffened, "Wait, if you're a Slayer…" he asked, suddenly noticing the stakes and afraid she was there to kill his father, or already had.

She raised her hands in surrender, "Whoa there, easy. I'm defiantly not here to slay Angel, besides he doesn't exactly qualify anymore." She said to disarm him.

He looked at her, "What do you mean 'doesn't qualify'?" he asked.

She shook her head, "It's not my place to tell you, I'll leave that up to Angel. He should be back any minute now." She said as she hopped back up onto the counter and began to sharpen stakes again.

"Where did he go" Connor asked as he sat on the weird circular bench in front of her.

"Went to grab a bunch of newspapers and realtor catalogs." She said as she sharpened.

Connor was curious as to why Angel would A, want them, and B, need them badly enough to risk going out during the day for them.

He was about to ask when a familiar voice called coming in from the front door, "Hey they have a three bedroom in near Cleveland, it's got a back deck and some land…" Angel stopped short when he noticed Buffy wasn't alone, and his mouth almost fell open when he realized who she was with.

"Uhh…" was he managed to gurgle.

Connor was equally as surprised, had he not just watched Angel walk in from the sunlight?

"Connor." Angel finally managed as he walked closer.

Buffy jumped off the table and grabbed the papers from Angel, "I'm just going to take these upstairs and have a look." She said and quickly left father and son alone to talk in private.

They watched her retreat up the stairs. Angel then walked up to his son, still nervous about being around the boy. Things were never easy between them. "Connor, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you been in class?" he asked, happy to see him but confused as to why he wasn't at Stanford.

Connor ducked his head, "Hey, Angel. Yeah, well…I'm kinda not enrolled anymore." He mumbled.

Angel was strangely disappointed, "What? Why? I thought you wanted to go to college?"

Connor shrugged, "I did…I do. It's just…I got kicked out."

Angel crossed his arms over his chest, "And why is that?"

The boy looked uncomfortable, "My umm….parents…they…remembered I'm…not theirs."

Angel's arms fell to his sides. "Oh." He was silent a moment. "Damn Wolfram & Hart! They must have voided our contract when I crossed them. I'm sorry Connor, it's my fault. I didn't realize my fight would ruin the life I set up for you."

Connor shook his head, "No, don't apologize; it's not your fault. You did the right thing, I helped fight too, remember?"

Angel nodded, "Yeah, you probably saved my ass showing up when you did." He said with a smirk.

Both men were silent a moment, not sure what to say next.

"So" Connor ventured, "was I hallucinating…or did you just walk in sunlight without getting instant char-broiled?"

Angel laughed, which kinda freaked Connor out, "Yeah, about that. Seems I'm not a vampire anymore."

Connor's eyes widened, "What? Really?"

Angel offered his wrist, "Feel for yourself."

Connor was reluctant for a second, but then took his father's wrist in hand and felt the warmth of his skin and the strong beat pulsing in his veins. "Wow." He whispered, fascinated.

"Yeah" Angel said with a grin, "tell me about it."

"How?" Connor asked.

Angel took his hand back and stuck them both deep in his pockets, "Failed assassination attempt." He said just a shrug.

"Assassination attempt…" the teen repeated in disbelief. "By bringing you to life?"

Angel chuckled, "Yeah. I guess they figured it's too hard to kill a guy that's already dead. Although, they didn't have much luck alive either."

The boy nodded, and then they fell silent again.

"So…Buffy?" Connor asked.

Angel smiled, "The love of my life." He said simply and easily.

Connor looked confused, "Huh, that was fast."

Angel shook his head, "We were together years ago, circumstances changed and…we had to separate. We're trying again now that I'm human."

"Cool" the youth said.

"So, where are you staying?" Angel asked his son. The boy looked uncertain. Angel understood, "Then you're staying here, there's plenty of room. I won't take no for an answer."

The teen nodded, "Ok, thanks."

...

Buffy skipped down the stairs, "You boys playing nice?" she asked with a smile.

They looked up at her as she glided next to Angel. "Yes." They agreed.

"Good." She said with a smirk, "I'm not interrupting anything am I? I can become scarce if you need some time." She asked, hoping she wasn't spoiling a father/son moment.

"No beloved, you're not." Her boyfriend reassured.

They sat in the lobby for awhile, Buffy mostly keeping the conversation running between the two strong, silent types.

"So…anyone getting hungry?" she ventured when the current topic died down after a lengthy discussion.

Angel nodded and Buffy sent his a look, "You're always hungry." She accused. He shrugged, "Hey, I've got 250 years of non-eating to make up for." She rolled her eyes and turned to the youth sitting beside him, "You?"

Connor nodded, "Yeah, I could eat."

...

After a short discussion Buffy dragged the two men out the door. Buffy had agreed earlier in the week that every meal would be something different, from somewhere different. Angel was eager to try every food available, and she was loving it too.

After dinner, Buffy suggested Angel drive to the mall so they could get some supplies for Connor. He agreed and told his son pick out some cloths and supplies.

Connor was hesitant so Angel pulled him aside to talk.

"Listen Connor, I know we've never really been…close…but I'd like to try and amend that. You might not feel like it, but this is hard for me too. I mean the last time I felt really connected to you, you were a month old and drooling on my shirt. Try and remember the childhood you deserved wasn't just stolen from you; it was stolen from me too. Ever since I saw you on the ultrasound, I loved you. I wanted you. I wanted to raise you, see you grow. I just never got the chance. I'll regret that I couldn't save you every day for the rest of my life. I still curse myself for being too slow, for not realizing what was happening in time. I let you down, and I live with that every time I look at you."

Connor was stunned, and not just because he never heard Angel say so many words at once. He felt tears well up in his eyes, knew the truth and love shinning in his fathers too.

Without really thinking, he drew his father into a tight embrace, the ex-vampire hugged back equally strong. The rift between them wasn't magically closed, but a decently build bridge would set things on the right path.

Buffy watched the two embrace from around the corner, giving them their privacy, but wanting to know what happened between the two.

She had only known Connor for a few hours, but she already felt a strong connection with him. He almost felt like a son to her as well.

She loved Angel with all her heart, and this boy was half Angel. Buffy couldn't help but love Connor a little too.

Granted his mother was a total b*tch in her mind, nearly killing her mother Joyce and Angel, not to mention herself. However she also realized the woman who gave her life to birth her baby wasn't the evil psycho she remembered.

She wouldn't hold any grudges she had with Darla against her son.

A ping of remorse washed over the blond as she thought, she wished she had known what Angel was going though at the time. Maybe she could have helped him, maybe if she had been around, his son would have been spared a childhood spent in a hell dimension.

Maybe she shouldn't think of sentences that began with 'maybe.'"

...

That night Buffy turned to look at Angel beside her in the bed, for the first time in a long while, he seemed lighter. One of the many burdens that still hung to the ex-vampire like a shroud finally broken free.

* * *

About a month later: June 25, 2004 – Right outside Cleveland, Ohio.

"We own a house together" Buffy said as she lay in bed next to Angel, their first night in the new house.

He smiled at her, "We do."

She snuggled closer, "I still can't believe it."

He chuckled, "Should I go get the deed, let you look at it for a few more hours?"

She tossed him a mock offended look and lightly punched his arm, "I did not stare at it for hours! Besides I'm comfy, so you are not allowed to get up."

He smiled, "Good, I wasn't planning on it."

'_This is incredible. We're happy. We're alive. We have a house! And the world hasn't almost ended in like…forever…o crap…I just jinxed it by thinking it…damn…good job Buffy…'_

"Is it too big?" she asked, "I mean, what are we going to do with all these rooms?"

"You didn't ask that when we lived in the hotel." He joked, "Besides, there's only 2 spare rooms." _Well at least as long as Connor's here, he'll be living at Stanford during the school year._ "We could make one a study, or an office, or library, maybe a guest bedroom or two. I'm sure we'll find a use for them."

'_Or bedrooms for our children? If we ever decide to adopt or get a sperm donor.'_ She thought.

"You gotta love Hellmouths; the high death rate keeps down the property tax and the mortgage." He joked. "Heck, what better location? Right outside of town, close enough to help out the newbie slayers, but far enough to give them space. We're only two miles from the nearest cemetery, plenty of trees when you're short on stakes, and we have our own personal magic barrier. Willow defiantly gave the best housewarming gift. So much better than that creepy plant Giles brought."

Buffy laughed along with him, she loved his less broody, more laughy personality lately. She hadn't seen him smile so much in the past seven years than she had in the last month.

...


	6. You Thought Wrong

The second major story in the arc.

Takes place in a large castle; partly in castle, partly in underground sewer tunnels and passages underneath.

* * *

You Thought Wrong - August 21, 2004

Then:

Buffy and Angel had been called in to help the new Slayers deal with a rising threat. A demon called Cerberus.

He wasn't a three headed dog like his namesake, but he was evil and powerful and needed to be put down.

The new Slayers at the Hellmouth had their hands full with the normal vamps and other assorted demons that frequented the area. Ever since Sunnydale's mouth to hell shut, the Cleveland one opened wider to accommodate the overflow.

And truth be told, there were still some threats best left to the professionals.

Giles had found some info on the demon in one of his texts, Buffy and Angel had throttled a few minions and gotten an address.

The two had been about to make their move when a trap was sprung. Cerberus sent them a message, he would open the Hellmouth unless they came to him alone and they had no choice but to comply.

The Scooby gang had been furious but understood the dangers. They banded together as they always do and set to work figuring out how to stop Cerberus from remotely triggering the Hellmouth.

It wasn't until Buffy and Angel were already gone, that they discovered Cerberus had been bluffing.

…

Now:

Angel felt the sword pierce his body, his living, breathing body.

"ANGEL!" he heard Buffy scream.

'_No_' he thought, '_Buffy, he'll kill her._'

Cerberus laughed in triumph as he savagely ripped the sword from the wound, leaving Angel to fall to his knees with a gaping hole in his side.

He gasped in shock more than pain, instantly becoming numb as his life's blood splashed onto the floor. The former vampire blinked and held his wound; fighting a losing battle for consciousness.

Cerberus reached down and grabbed a hold of Angel's shirt and yanked him up face to face, "The Slayer is a pretty little thing, I'll have hours of fun with her." he laughed and launched Angel across the floor.

He landed in a lifeless heap and didn't move.

...

Buffy sat frozen on the ground. She had been in shock since seeing Angel impaled; the wound in her leg prevented her from standing and her broken arm and lack of weapon sapped away all hope for any chance at defensive procedures.

Buffy gazed up at Cerberus, his sword rising above his head, ready to bring it down on her.

He grinned cruelly at her, "Thought killing a Slayer would be harder."

Her mind twitched, something rose up, '_First rule of Slaying, don't die_.'

"It is" She spat as her good leg shot out and swept his feet from under him.

Cerberus crashed to the ground, Buffy rolled, an awkward and painful task with a broken arm, and reached the good arm for the sword that had clamored to the floor as he impacted.

He was faster.

His gauntleted hand latched onto the hilt seconds before hers; with his free hand he sent the Slayer a powerful backhand.

She recovered quickly, adrenalin screaming through her veins. With a ferocity she didn't know she could manage at the moment, she lunged forward, her body pinning his sword arm down and landed repeated blows to the demon's face.

Rage and fury spurred her. '_You killed my Angel you b stard!_'

Each punch raining down harder than the last, she screamed at him, one word with each wallop "Nobody kills my boyfriend and lives!"

Cerberus laughed evilly; suddenly he shoved Buffy off of him, he flipped to his feet, and viciously kicked his armored boot solidly with her head.

"Foolish child, a mere human cannot kill me."

The sword raised high above the demon's head.

Her vision blurred, blackness threatened to consume her consciousness. She didn't want to die, but she was too dazed from the last blow to move. A single tear slipped down her cheek as she watched the blade begin its final decent.

'_I love you,_ _Angel'_ she thought and shut her eyes.

...

"HEY!" a voice yelled out from behind Cerberus.

He didn't turn fast enough as a hand locked around his closed fingers, that held the sword high above his head, and ripped downwards, dislocating both shoulders.

Cerberus screamed is pain and rage as the sword dropped from his numb fingers.

Suddenly Cerberus was swung around to face his attacker.

"Ya know that was rude," the man he thought he had just killed calmly taunted, "Walkin away before you're even done killing me."

Cerberus stood stunned for a second, "Vampire" was all he managed before the demon holding him grabbed his head and twisted to expose his naked neck.

"I'll make sure you don't try it again" he heard as fangs ripped deeply into his neck and he felt his life's blood drained from his body; seconds later Cerberus's corpse dropped lifeless to the blood speckled floor.

Buffy's eyes had snapped open at the sound of Angel's voice.

The fog cleared as her heart leapt to life with joy that he was alive.

She looked up in happy anticipation of seeing her lover kill that son of a Bleep.

Her joy turned to horror when she saw Angel appear behind Cerberus.

Relief was short lived as she heard the cold tone of his voice and watched his movements. She realized with dread that he wasn't the man she loved, but the demon that killed him and wore his face.

_'No'_ she thought; fear filling her chest, '_it can't be…he's dead'_.

The man behind Cerberus was not a man at all, she stared at the raised and bumpy brow, the sharp pointed fangs and the demonic yellow glow in the vampire's eyes. She watched in silent horror as Angelus savagely drained Cerberus.

...

Angelus licked his lips, savoring the taste of the demon's blood. He felt strength from the blood as it worked to repair the damage done to his body from the sword blow he received just minutes before.

A moment later his gaze fell upon Buffy, she started at him with wide confused eyes. His nosed filled with the scent of the Slayer's blood, it compelled him forward. He reached down to undo his belt.

Buffy saw his gaze fall upon her and her heartbeat increased as the horrible memories of Angelus flooded her brain.

'_O god'_ she shuddered as she saw his hands move to his belt, _'Is he going to….rape me?_'

A moment later Angelus was inches from her face, his intense yellow eyes holding her hostage.

She felt his cool hands trace up her wounded leg, and she couldn't help but shutter. Then she felt the leather belt rap tightly around her leg.

His eyes released her and she looked down in confusion as he tied the makeshift tourniquet in place.

'_He's helping me…is he still Angel?_' she thought and looked at him again.

"Angel?" she asked tentatively, hoping beyond hope she was wrong, praying that Angel didn't die and the demon hadn't taken control again.

"Sorry Slayer" he replied coldly, "he ain't available at the moment."

Her heart shattered.

_'No'_ was all her mind could muster.

She didn't want to believe Angel was dead, they were finally happy together, he was human-ish, and everything was perfect.

'_He couldn't have died. How could the Powers do this to us? How could they be so cruel? Finally give me Angel just to take him away, and leave me the monster.'_

"What's the matter Lover? Not happy to see me?" Angelus taunted the shocked girl between his knees.

Her verbal paralysis broke over the word _lover_, "You're dead" she denied, "Angel was human, how can you…?"

He grinned, fangs still stained with Cerberus's blood. "Be a vampire?" he finished for her. "You were wrong. I didn't die. I've been in here all along Buff, waiting for a turn with this fascinating new body." He flexed his fingers for show.

"Imagine my surprise when I felt this heart beginning to beat, blood flowing freely, heated and alive. Talk about a warm tingly feeling" he laughed.

Buffy cringed at the laughter. For Angelus to be in control, Angel's soul must be gone; her world was now forever cold.

A threatening grown suddenly emitted from within the vampire and Buffy stiffened in fear, thinking his uncharacteristic moment of helping was over and now it was time for his M.O of torture and killing; but his eyes were focused on something behind her.

'_Ok, not growling at me'_ she thought with relief.

He rose and stood protectively over her, keeping himself between the fallen Slayer and the approaching demons.

_'12 vampires'_ she counted as she glanced around the large room, '_not great odds'_ she worried, especially since she was currently crippled and her 'partner' was not only battered but also a likely threat.

The first vampire charged towards Angelus, determined to finish off the strange warm vampire standing between him and a feast of Slayer blood.

Angelus stood his ground, never moving an inch until the vamp was nearly on top of him.

In one fowl swoop, Angelus plucked the vamp from his charge and twisted his head clean off. Dust exploded around him, signaling the rest of the vamps into action.

"Sorry guys, dibs on the Slayer." Angelus yelled to the advancing swarm.

Two vamps rushed in, trying to distract him with a tag team effort. However, Angelus was smart; he predicted the move and intercepted, sending a spinning kick to both vamps and tossing them into the crowd behind them.

The click of a crossbow echoed through the space and the master vampire snatched the bolt from the air over his heart. "That wasn't very nice." He growled and threw the bolt back, sending it hurling into its owner's heart.

The crossbow fell to the floor as the owner dusted. "Don't get up, I insist."

Three vamps charged, one went for Angelus's legs, and got a foot to the face complete with broken nose for its efforts.

The other two tackled him, sending him rolling to the ground, realizing too late the tactic to separate him from the Slayer.

Angelus punched and kicked with rage and fury, finally getting a break from the advancing vamps when he managed to rip a stake from one vamps hand and dust him with it. "Thanks for the tip."

Looking down he saw the crossbow that had dropped earlier and kicked it towards the fallen Slayer.

Seeing the approaching vamps, Buffy snatched up the offered crossbow and fired; the multi-barrel chamber spun each time she pulled the trigger, sending a wooden bolt into the hearts of each target.

She had dusted four when the cartridge clicked empty, leaving five vamps still lingering.

The first two vamps to rush Angelus tried again, this time he was ready with the stake, slamming fists and feet into tender body parts then delivering the wooden tip into the chest. "Am I making my point?" he taunted to the remaining three vamps.

Broken nose had retreated from the fight long enough to get his senses back, now he darted forward with a sharpened table leg to stab Angelus in the back while he was busy with the remaining two vamps.

"Look out" Buffy shouted in time for Angelus to back hand him, sending him flying to land in a heap next to Buffy.

She ripped the wood from the vamp's hand and stabbed him with it.

A moment later she threw the leg into the heart one of Angelus's final attackers.

With a sigh he watched the last vamp disappear in a cloud of ash. "Well that was fun" he groaned, and turned to face Buffy. His eyes fell upon the crossbow aiming for his heart, "and getting better."

"Don't move" she hissed, determined to keep the demon away from her.

She vividly remembered the last time they met, Angel was suffering from the poison that made him human, Angelus had broken free and tried to ripe her throat out. It had been a close call, she wasn't eager to give him another shot.

He grinned down at her, "Ya know Buff, those don't do much without bolts."

He darted forward and wrenched it from her grip, "I thought you had better manners than that Lover, threatening to kill me as I'm helping you. Tisk, Tisk."

"Save the act" she screamed back, trying to pull away from him. "And the damn mind games!" Tears streamed down her face as she broke down, "I can't go through it again. I...can't kill you…again. Just…kill me and get it over with." She suddenly felt like giving up, Angel was dead, she was trapping underground in this labyrinth with unknown numbers of other vamps and HIM; maybe death was better. Maybe she'd be reunited with Angel?

"Well now Slayer, what happened to you?" he asked as he knelt beside her, "You used to have such…fire. And if I wanted you dead darling…you'd be there already."

She glared at him, unable to make heads or tails of his actions. "What do you want?" she asked.

He laughed, "I wouldn't hate a gallon of blood and some female company"

She frowned.

"But since that isn't currently an option, I'll have to settle for saving your pathetic, yet firm, butt." He finished looking her over with a lusty grin.

She shook her head, "This doesn't make sense. Why are you helping me? You hate me."

"Listen blondie, I ain't got time for lengthy conversation, more vamps are coming." He reached for her and she punched him square in the face with her good arm.

"We don't have time for this," He repeated and pulled the stake from his pocket and slapped it into her hand, "If I try to eat you, stake me." She sat stunned for a second then yelped in surprise as he scooped her up into his arms.

Buffy's mind raced. She was lying in Angelus's arms, he was rescuing her and he had armed her with a stake.

_'Huh?_'

He was hurrying down the tunnel, heading for the sewer entrance back to the castle, which by her determination was still at least a mile away. She looked down at the stake, then cast a quick glace at Angelus, he so far had ignored her as he walked, focusing on which direction to go and avoiding unwanted company.

"You're still vamped?" she asked casually, finding it odd since even Angelus rarely wore the fangs when not fighting.

He glared at her, "I _am_ the vamp." He growled in annoyance.

Then it hit her, why Angel couldn't put on his game face, because it wasn't his to wear anymore, it belonged to Angelus, to the demon.

"Oh…right" she whispered in understanding.

A few seconds later she realized something, his chest was warm. Without thinking she placed her hand over his heart, shock filled her when she felt it still beating.

He cast a glace down at her then returned his attention back to escaping.

"You're alive" she whispered, unsure what it meant.

The only way for Angelus to be here is if Angel had died and lost his soul…or so she had thought. A beating heart crippled her original theory, unless only his soul was lost, not his life?

"How?" she asked, "How did he lose his soul if your heart still beats?"

He looked around, and then grimaced, he heard something approaching.

"He didn't" he grumbled, obviously unhappy about it, as he quickened his pace.

Her eyes widened at the thought, '_Angel's soul is still inside?_' It would explain why he wasn't trying to kill her, but not why Angelus was in control in the first place. "I don't understand. How are you here then?" she questioned.

Before he could answer a hellhound shot from the left tunnel.

Angelus sat Buffy on a nearby alcove and turned to face the threat.

She looked down at her leg, loosening the tourniquet and wishing she could be more useful for these fights.

"Here boy" he called to the animal as it stalked him, "that's a good doggie", '_keeping facing me'_ he thought.

The hound darted forward unexpectedly, jumping into the air and crashing into Angelus, its jaws latched tightly onto his left arm.

The vampire growled in pain and slammed his right fist repeatedly against the hellhound's head, then swung the creature around, sending it crashing into the wall.

The animal bounced off the curved wall and landed with a thunk, only to recover instantly and prepare to attack again.

"Here" Buffy called as she tossed the stake to Angelus.

He caught the projectile as the creature pounced, and held it up, letting the hound's own weight drive it into its body.

The force sent both tumbling to the floor; the hound howled a death cry then went still.

Angelus pushed the corpse off and stood, "Play dead" he mumbled to the body as he brushed himself off.

"I think I've had enough fun for one day…" he grumbled as he handed the bloody stake back to Buffy.

"Your arm" she sighed, looking at the bleeding bite holes.

"Will heal" he said picking her back up before she could protest.

"Don't worry Buff, I won't go rabid on ya." he said with a smirk.

...

"You didn't answer my question" Buffy stated a few minutes later.

"Why am I here?" Angelus asked then laughed, "I've _always_ been here, Lover."

She shook her head, "You should have died when Angel's heart started beating, we were better off with you gone." She professed.

He stopped walking and glared down at her, yellow eyes flashing with anger. "Listen princess, what you don't get is without me, Soul Boys as useless as he was with the Morah demon. He fights with _my_ strength, uses _my_ healing, _my_ powers…without me, he's just a man…he's nothing." He hissed.

Her eyes widened at the confession, "You're the source of his powers?" she repeated back, stunned.

The last few months, they thought the demon was gone and Angel had just retained his strengths.

"Does that burst your happy little bubble? I don't fit into your fairytale ending with prince charming? Tough, cus I ain't going anywhere. Truth is Lover, I like this new body too much. I enjoy the feel of it, its warmth, and its blood…its life. You know what drives us vamps? What calls the need to feed? Life. We don't live, but we want to, but we're dead, so we need to take that life from others. When we feed, we're drinking life; the warm blood gives us the feeling of being alive again, if only for a moment."

"I don't understand" she started, "Angel can't drink blood anymore, it makes him sick, so how can you feed?"

He grinned down at her, "I don't need to drink from an outside source now, this body generates its own blood."

She looked at him, unsure whether to be relieved or horrified.

He smirked at her discomfort, reveling in it.

"Are you trying to say you…feed…off Angel?"

_'Horrified'_ she decided, '_defiantly horrified'_.

His smirk stretched into a full fanged smile, "I consider it an even trade, he nourishes me, and I lend him my strength so he doesn't get this body killed. Worked so far hasn't it?"

She shook her head, "But, if what you said is true, if his soul is still here, why are you in control?"

"I'm stronger in demon form; when that candy ass got himself skewed, he was dying, and I sure as hell wasn't letting him take this body with him. This heart stops beating Buff, it's bye-bye warmth and hello hunger. I ain't settling for that again. If I didn't take over, we'd all be dead. Well I'd be undead…again."

She looked down, her mind reeling, trying to process the information. "If he dies, his soul leaves too, doesn't it?" she asked.

He shrugged, "Probably, curse is gone."

"Without that, you go back to being evil?"She asked.

He glared at her, "This wretched soul may be floating around in me, but it sure as hell doesn't control me. If I choose to kill you, I can."

"Then why haven't you? Why be good to me?" she questioned.

She didn't like the smile he gave her.

"Because Lover, I'm _always_ here. Think about it, when you touch him, you touch me too." He whispered seductively into her ear.

She pulled away, her cheeks grew ruby red and suddenly she felt sick.

He laughed, "What? You think I step out for coffee when you two get groiny? Fat chance. Besides, I let you die; I get stuck with the president of the brooding club, rotting in the dark, feeling guilty for the rest of this body's natural life. Been there, done that, I'll pass thanks."

She couldn't think for a while, his words had floored her. There was just too much involved, she pushed aside her feeling for the moment and focused on the situation at hand.

...

With all the distractions it had taken nearly an hour to get to the sewer exit.

Angelus lowered Buffy to the floor and glanced around the corner to the ladder. It was heavily guarded. He wasn't worried about the six vamps, we was worried about the two flamethrowers they held.

As he checked the guards, she unlatched the loosened tourniquet from her leg, and looped the belt into a sling for her broken arm. The gash had shut, but she still couldn't put weight on the leg.

His mind raced, '_How the hell do I take out the flamethrowers? The second I get in range, BBQed'_

"How many?" she whispered, not being able to see around the corner, but knowing something was holding him back.

"Six" he whispered back, "Two flamethrowers."

Her eyes narrowed, _'damn'_. She wished she had kept the crossbow, but not having replacement bolts, was useless; between the both of them they had only one stake.

An idea occurred to the vampire when he cast a glace at Buffy, sitting against the curved tunnel wall fiddling with the stake.

He walked over, and held open his hand.

She reluctantly handed him the stake. "You have a plan?" she whispered.

He tucked the stake into his coat, "Yeah, Die Slayer!" He yelled as he grabbed her around the throat.

Buffy instinctually fought back, kicking out with her good leg and punching with the unbroken arm.

He let himself take a few of her blows, hearing the six vamps guarding the ladder rushing towards the racket.

They found the Slayer fighting off a vampire.

They circled her as Angelus knocked her backwards against the wall, stunning her.

"Bitch is strong, but I'm stronger." He said wiping blood from his lips, "I'll get a huge reward for bringing in her head." he baited, walking towards the pissed Slayer.

The vamps next to him exchanged glances, suddenly realizing they had a shot at a huge reward too.

"Not so fast" a short round vamp piped up, "What's this reward you're talking about?"

'_Hook, line and sinker._' Angelus thought as he shrugged, "Cerberus put a price on the bitch, said who ever brings her in, gets not only the credit of killin a slayer, but a position at his right hand, hell of a pay increase too. Blood and woman, what else is there huh? If you'll excuse me, I got a reward to collect."

Before Angelus could grab Buffy, the short round vamp descended on him, he expected it and attacked, punching the vamp into his two closest friends, the two holding the flamethrowers.

Fast as lightning, Angelus whipped out the stake, taking down the three unsuspecting vamps as they watched the three vamps tangled on the ground.

A moment later Angelus was kicking the flamethrowers away and staking the remaining vamps before they figured out they were setup.

"Like staking fish in a barrel" he muttered as he approached the extremely agitated Slayer.

"You could have warned me about your plan" she shot at him.

He smiled coldly, as he tucked the stake back into his coat, "What would have been the fun in that?"

He turned his attention back to one of the fallen flamethrowers, "Hello there." He said as he picked it up, "What's that you say? Take me with you? Well I think that can be arranged." He smiled as he slung the strap over his shoulder, letting the deadly weapon hang along his back.

Buffy struggled to stand, leaning heavily against the tunnel wall.

"Could you not break yourself further, I've got enough to worry about" he grumbled as he picked up the injured Slayer.

"I'm fine thanks" she mumbled sarcastically as he headed them towards the ladder.

"I'm sorry, did I ask?" he shot back.

At the ladder she looked up at the rungs, and thought of her broken arm and injured leg, _'crap._'

"Need my hands sweetheart" he said.

She reluctantly turned towards him, wrapping her good arm around his neck and her legs around his waists.

It felt both wonderful and horrible to be pressing up against him, the familiar heartbeat seemed surreal.

Once her weight was shifted out of his arms, he grabbed hold of the rungs and began to climb.

...

Angelus slowly lifted the heavy sewer cover, peering through the opening, checking for potential problems.

The large basement room doubled as a dungeon and a storage area. On the left, rusty chains hung from the walls and decades of ritual sacrifices had stained the floor by the alter a deep maroon.

On the right, boxes, barrels and various items lay strewn in half hazard piles.

The only thing Angelus cared about was the lack of bodies, living or undead.

Satisfied the coast was clear, he shoved the manhole cover aside, but dropping it slowly to prevent unnecessary noise; just in case.

He climbed up and out of the hole, glanced around again for good measure, and walked over to the alter.

Buffy unlatched her limbs from him as he helped her sit on the cold stone.

He put the flamethrower down next to her then headed back over to the manhole, quickly covering it back up and locking it shut.

_'Should keep unwanted company from following for a while'_ he thought.

Buffy looked down at the old alter, an ancient skull sat on the edge, eyeless holes staring accusingly at her.

_'Yuck!_' she cringed then looked away_, 'Just once, I'd like to battle a demon with some taste, I mean seriously? Is there a rule or something against hygiene and tact?'_

Angelus wandered back over to her, dropping a crate on the floor at his feet and stomping it, creating a nice pile of sharp wooden stakes.

He stuck a few in various locations on his person; pocket, back of his pants, boots, then handed a few to her to stash.

"Most of Cerberus's men were stationed below in the main chamber and in the tunnels, but he liked to be prepared, probably has at least a half dozen lackeys guarding between here and the entrance." He explained.

She nodded, wishing she had been more conscious on the journey into the main chamber to begin with.

Buffy looked down at her leg again, wishing the gash would hurry up and heal already; while looking down she noticed a blood stain on her side, she looked but couldn't find a wound to match.

She cast a glance at Angelus and could see fresh blood staining his black shirt where he had been impaled.

"You're still bleeding?" Buffy asked concerned, if not for the demon then for the man who shared his body.

"Yeah, living bodies tend to do that when ya stab em." he replied sarcastically.

"Shouldn't you have healed by now?" she asked, knowing Angel healed quickly.

"Well if it didn't keep ripping open with every new batch of fun we hit…" he growled.

"Maybe you should rest, give it time to…" she tried but he cut her off.

"Come on Buff, you should know better than that, there's no rest for the wicked." He said sweetly as he slung the flamethrower back over his shoulder, then picked her up and headed for the left staircase.

...

The castle ground floor was virtually one huge rectangular room; eight pillars, staircases on the left and right to the upper levels and lower levels, and a few doors that led to other rooms along the back.

The front and sides of the castle walls were lined with boarded up windows.

The most eye-catching attracting for Angelus was the two and a half dozen or so vamps wandering freely around the area.

"I hate it when I'm wrong." He grumbled when he saw the competition.

"Anyway we can sneak past them?" Buffy asked.

"No" he said blankly.

"Why not?" she asked, offended he would even consider her opinion.

He didn't reply but nodded his head towards the right.

She turned and saw a group of vamps heading towards them, they had already been spotted.

"Oh" she breathed dejected.

"Know how to use this thing?" he asked as he set her down and thrust the flamethrower into her hands.

"Pull the trigger and watch the fire show?" she asked.

"Pretty much" he said, "Good luck" then he turned and charged past the vamps.

"What?" she stuttered while staring at his retreating form.

_'He left me here?!'_ her mind screamed in anger.

The near dozen vamps inched closer, intrigued by the injured little girl swaying in front of them.

She let them approach, knowing full well the reach of the flame when it ignited.

"Hey guys," she taunted, "You here for the BBQ?" She lit torch and fired away.

Most of the vamps dusted in a wall of fire, the rest had a short but unforgettable introduction to her stake.

...

Angelus dove head long into the thickest mass of vamps, "Here I am, time to start the party." He yelled, stake nothing but a blur as he moved. Five, six vamps fell, leaving at least a dozen circling around him.

One vamp charged, Angelus grabbed him and threw him, sending the unfortunate demon crashing through the barred castle doors and into the sunlight.

Suddenly the vamps fell back, leaving a large gap between themselves and him.

"What's the matter guys? Do I smell?" he asked the vamps, making a gesture of lifting his arm and taking a whiff.

"AROOOO!" The cries echoed off the high stone walls, as two huge hellhounds descended from the upper decks, both beasts focused their attention on Angelus.

'_Oh crap, those things are bigger than Clydesdale horses_.'

"Sorry guys, think I'm more of a cat person."

...

Bright morning sun flooded in through the newly broken open castle doors, a welcoming invitation to the Slayer.

She searched the chaos for Angelus, easily spotting him, caught between a dozen vamps and two giant hellhounds.

He was holding his own for the moment, but she realized he was wearing down…fast.

She looked down at the flamethrower, not much fuel left, but she had to do something.

The fighting vamps seemed to have forgotten about her and she used that to her advantage on sneaking up behind them. Her leg was stiff and sore, but it seemed to be holding her weight for the moment, as long as she moved slowly anyways.

After two vamps were dusted, a few others caught on to her presence, "Hey guys." She said sweetly with a smile and a wave, "I saw your little party, hope you don't mind I invited myself"

She whipped the flamethrower around when four of the vamps stalked towards her, "I even brought a little something for ya" she added as she hit the trigger.

Flames shot forth from the gun, bathing the three closest vamps in a lethal cloud of fire. The forth managed to leap away, cursing and patting out his flaming arm.

The screams of the dusting vamps caught the attention of the six remaining vamps facing Angelus. They had been idly watching Angelus fight the hellhounds, none of them eager to get between the beasts and their prey.

The flamethrower spit and chocked, the fuel gauge falling to empty.

_'Damn'_ Buffy thought and she glanced around at the seven angry demons.

She chucked the heavy weapon, knocking down two vamps, and plucked the stake from her boot.

"Anyone care to dance?" she asked with a grin.

...

Angelus focused on the two hell beasts as they circled him, his cold yellow eyes darting back and forth between the two.

The beasts seemed smarter than the one he faced in the sewers earlier; they kept an even distance apart, forcing his attention to remain divided.

The female lunged first, just as Angelus's gaze turned towards its mate.

He spun and ducked as he saw the movement in the corner of his eye, but not fast enough. Her jaws clamped onto his left elbow, ripping the arm back and dislocating his shoulder.

The stake in his right hand lashed out, stabbing into the animal's eye.

The male charged at his mate's cries, jaws snapping for his neck.

Angelus dropped and rolled, sending waves of pain through this shoulder as it snapped back into the socket, pain he didn't have time to think about.

He pulled another stake from his boot, but lost it as the male pounced on his back, forcing him to the ground under his crushing weight.

The female stalked forward, fangs still dripping with his blood, the stake protruding grotesquely from her eye. Angelus struggled under the heavy enraged animal, claws ripping painfully into his back, and lungs struggling for oxygen as his chest was crushed painfully into the cold stone floor, ribs cracking under the pressure.

Adrenalin flooded his system, giving him a burst of strength, he reached his right arm up behind him, grabbing the beasts head and yanked his arm down, smashing the animal's snout into the floor.

"Bad dog" he growled as he pushed the stunned animal off.

The female rushed forward, tackling him to the ground, once again forcing the air from his tortured lungs. She shot her jaws forward, intending to tear out his neck, but he twisted away and sent a powerful punch directly into the stake protruding from her eye.

The female hound's yowl of pain ended as it fell dead atop the struggling vampire, the stake finally hitting the brain.

Maddened by his mate's death cry, the male charged at Angelus.

He kicked the dead beast off of him and rolled to his feet, fury and pain increasing his strength.

When the male reached him, Angelus punched with all his strength, sending the animal crashing into the group of vampires encroaching on Buffy.

...

Buffy raised her stake, ready to take on the first vampire when her prey was suddenly bowled over by a screeching hell hound.

The hound lashed out at the nearest moving body, tearing the limbs off an unlucky vamp. The remaining vamps scurried out of the path of the raging beast, one backed up towards the Slayer, and she quickly took advantage of his mistake.

Buffy looked over at Angelus, he looked awful, and pissed…very pissed.

...

He walked straight towards the beast, staking two vamps mercilessly in his way.

The hound turned its attention back to Angelus when the vamp it had been tearing apart finally dusted.

Its lips curled back in a feral snarl, an equal snarl appeared on Angelus's face.

He raised his stake, wagging it like someone preparing to throw a stick for their dog, "Wanna fetch" he taunted.

The beast charged, but Angelus was ready, he stood frozen, and at the last possible second shot forward, dropping to one knee and bracing. The impact sending the wood crashing into the animal's chest.

It screamed in fury as it tried to tear out the object, as it tried Angelus punched it several times, causing it to fall backwards.

He reached down, grabbing the creatures head in his hands and twisted. An audible crack was heard as its neck snapped, it didn't move again.

...

As Angelus fought the remaining beast, Buffy faced the last three vamps.

"Still waiting for that dance." She taunted as the first rushed her, she side stepped and spun, sending her stake into the vamps back as it flew past her.

Pain shot from her leg as the vamp dusted, the quick spin aggravating the gash.

The burnt vamp and the last charged together when they saw her pain, thinking she would fall easily.

They were mistaken; she punched the closest one, and then sent her elbow backwards into the other. Her stake lashed out, slamming into the burned vamp when he turned, his dust filled the air seconds later.

Clawed hands grabbed around her throat, the last vamp pulling her backwards against his chest.

"I'll dance Slayer, on your grave." He snarled as his fangs descended for her throat.

"Like I haven't heard that before" she sighed as she shot her head back into the vamps nose, shattering it.

At the momentary distraction she spun, punching him in the gut for good measure, and then slamming the stake home. He puffed out of existence, leaving her alone in the great room with a barely standing Angelus.

She limped over to him, cringing at the torn shirt, revealing a multitude of scratches and bite marks.

If she hadn't been looking directly at him, she would have missed his instant check to see if she was Ok.

"I think we've worn out our welcome, come on" she said as she reached for his right arm, both leaning on each other for support, she headed them towards the door.

Angelus had shut his eyes, barely hanging on to consciousness.

As they stepped into the sunlight he yelped and flew back into the shadows, his right hand smoking where she had held it in the sun a few moments before.

"You trying to kill me Slayer?" he growled back in pain, full consciousness being pulled back to him abruptly.

Her eyes widen in horror, having spent so much time with Angel in the sun, she hadn't realized his demon side was still allergic.

"Sorry" she winced, "I didn't think…" she started but he cut her off.

"No shit." He snarled, and then closed his eyes. "It's been great fun Lover," he opened them again, "but let's not do it again."

With that said, his demon features receded, and Angel's brown eyes blinked at her in confusion.

"Buffy?" he whispered as he dropped to his knees.

She limped forward, wrapping her arm around his neck, "Angel?" she asks, a tear of relief rolled down her cheek.

"Yeah" He said as he wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face into her shirt as she hugged him against her.

"I thought I lost you" she whispered, voice cracking as she held back tears.

They stayed hugging for a minute, and then a wave of pain hit Angel, he groaned and sank back sitting on his feet.

Buffy painfully dropped down after him, "Angel!" she cried, seeing he was fading fast.

"Hey" she rubbed her hand along his cheek, "Stay awake for a few more minutes, OK?"

He managed to focus his eyes on her, and weakly nodded.

"Come on" she urged, tugging at him to stand.

With help from her, he struggled back to his feet; she wrapped his good arm around her shoulders and headed outside. She paused a moment to make sure the sun didn't burn him, it didn't.

They stumbled into the bright warm morning, both shielding their eyes from the blinding light. She led them to a large oak tree and motioned for Angel to sit.

He dropped; sliding painfully down the tree, his back resting against the warm bark as Buffy carefully settled down and curled up against him.

Within seconds, both were unconscious to the world.

...

"Over here!" Willow called out, alerting the others that she had found them.

"Buffy? Angel?" the redheaded witch asked the unmoving forms lying together in the shade of a large oak tree.

She reached her hand out, quickly checking each for a pulse.

Buffy's was strong and steady while Angel's was fast and weak.

Willow looked down and noticed the blood staining his shirt in various locations.

"Guys hurry!" she yelled again.

Oz, Giles and Xander reached them a moment later, Xander picked up Buffy and carried her into the awaiting van, Willow following close behind. As Willow began treating Buffy, Xander ran back to help Giles and Oz carry Angel.

"What is this guy? Solid muscle? Geez, he doesn't look that heavy." Xander complained about Angel's weight as he dropped him down next to Buffy in the van.

...

Two hours later both heroes were lying in their bed, both still unconscious, but cleaned and bandaged.

Xander flopped down in Angel's reading chair, put his legs up on the ottoman, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why don't you get some rest Will, get something to eat maybe, I'll keep watch over them for awhile." He said to the witch.

"Are you sure? Aren't you hungry? I could bring you something."

He shook his head, "I'm good Will." She looked him over, knowing something was bothering him, but decided not to press the issue, if Xander didn't want to talk, Xander didn't talk, the end.

"I'll be up to relieve you in a few hours then" she said as she shut the bedroom door behind her.

Once she was gone, he stood and walked over towards the bed, looking down at Buffy and grimacing over her injuries. He sent an evil look towards Angel, silently cursing him for not doing a better job protecting Buffy.

He sat on the bed and picked up Buffy's good hand, and just held it awhile.

...

Buffy slowly opened her eyes; she could feel someone holding her hand.

"Angel?" she asked, but then noticed who it was "Xander? What?" she looked around, noticing she was in her and Angel's bedroom.

_'Angel!_' her mind yelled.

She turned her head and saw him lying next to her, bruised and bandaged, but breathing. It was weak and labored, but there.

"Hey Buff, how are you feeling" Xander said when she woke, "He'll live." He added, noticing her eying Angel.

She turned her eyes back to Xander and smiled, "I feel like I got hit by a flaming bus, twice."

He grinned, "Yeah those pesky buses, never know when they'll strike"

She groaned as she stretched, taking a mental inventory of her body.

The leg seemed OK, the gash was closed, still red and sore, but mostly healed. Her arm throbbed, it was bandaged in a temporary cast but felt good under the circumstances.

She figured the bones would heal in a day or two, and she could resume punching demons by the end of the week. The rest of her body was sore and stiff, but she could deal with that.

"You guys rescued us?" she asked him a moment later. "Yeah, surprised? The old Scooby gang still has its moments." He defended.

"No. no. you guys did good, great even. I know you guys always come through in the end." She told him in earnest.

"Do you need anything?" he asked, ducking out of the flattery limelight.

"Ahh…water would be great. If my mouth gets any drier I'll have cactus growing soon."

He stood and went to grab a glass from the bathroom.

Once he moved away she sat up and turned to Angel, she looked over his wounds the best she could and frowned. She ran her hand along his brow, '_Please be Ok_' she thought.

Xander came back with the glass, he sat back down next to her and she graciously accepted the cup.

She drank the cool water down greedily, savoring the feel of it as it traveled down to her stomach.

"You hungry?" He asked, "I could run down and get you something."

She finished off the water and handed him the glass, "No, not yet. I will though. I think I'm going to sleep for a little longer. You know unconsciousness doesn't really fill the sleep quota."

He nodded.

"You don't need to sit with us Xander. We'll be Ok. I yell if we need anything alright?"

He understood it wasn't a suggestion and stood, "Ok, if you insist. I'll leave another glass of water here, in-case you want more." He refilled the cup and placed it on the bedside table.

"Thanks" she smiled and he opened the door and sent her a matching smile.

"Sleep tight." He added, playing off her tightly bound wounds.

"I will" she smiled.

...

Once she was alone with Angel she began her own investigation of his wounds.

She wasn't happy that he still had the injuries; she had hoped he would have healed by now; his vamp powers normally worked faster than her Slayer healing.

She remembered the condition Angelus was in just before he relinquished control back to Angel; he was very weary and must have needed time to recharge.

She snuggled up to Angel, she wanted to rest her head on his shoulder, but she was on his injured side.

That and the bandage around his chest signaled possible broken ribs, she didn't want to cause him any more pain or injury. She felt content just being next to him, and closed her eyes and listened to his shallow but steady breaths.

...

Buffy woke five hours later, she sat up and yawned.

Angel shifted in his sleep but didn't wake.

She smiled as she looked down at him, happy he had made the transition from unconscious to sleeping naturally. His breathing was better, clear and even.

She quietly got out of bed and put on her robe, the cast making changing to other clothes a daunting thought.

Her stomach growled loudly and she slipped on her slippers.

She limped over to Angel and noticed his bruises looked better, less bruisey. She placed a quick light kiss on his forehead then headed downstairs, she was starving.

...

Her muscles were still sore, but the painful walk down the stairs helped loosen them.

She noticed Xander was passed out on the couch as she past into the kitchen.

Willow and Oz were seated at the table talking as Giles stood by the stove, preparing tea. They turned went she entered. "Buffy! You're up!" Willow beamed as she leapt up to give her friend a hug.

"Yup, alive and kicking" She said happily, "Well alive anyways" she amended as she remembered her sore leg.

"Buffy. How are you feeling?" Giles asked as he handed her a fresh cup of tea.

"Stiff, sore, starving…my feelings are officially sponsored by the letter S today."

Willow walked Buffy to the table and Oz pulled out a chair for her.

"Thanks" she said as she sat and took a sip of the tea.

"What would you like?" Giles asked, as he opened the refrigerator.

"Food. Anything fast. Now please?" she said as she sipped the tea.

Willow, Buffy and Oz chatted as Giles made her a sandwich.

"How's Angel?" Willow asked.

"Sleeping" Buffy replied. "His healing kicked back on."

Willow nodded, "Yeah we were really worried about that...It being off and all. He was in pretty bad shape when we found you."

"Yeah, rough day for both of us." Buffy muttered as she thought of Angelus.

She thought about telling them the full story, but decided against it. Angelus was something she didn't want them to know about. Not yet anyways. She didn't need any lynch mobs heading after Angel right now.

Her attention fell to the sandwich on the plate Giles had placed in front of her, "Yeah food!" she said as she hungrily attacked it.

"Careful, she might take the hand too" Oz commented as Giles pulled away.

"What? Yes. Perhaps so." Giles replied as he went to make Buffy another sandwich.

After her second sandwich, Buffy sighed contently and leaned back in her chair.

"You make a mean sandwich Giles" she said rubbing her tummy.

"It's angry with you?" he asked, not quite getting the compliment.

She looked at him a moment, then he seemed to realize what she had said, "Oh, yes, well, umm…your welcome." He stuttered.

Xander woke up and wandered into the kitchen, and the five sat around talking for a while.

...

Buffy glanced up when she heard the creaking of the stairs, a minutes later Angel walked into the kitchen.

He looked surprised to see them all sitting around, but he smiled and waved, "Hey."

The gang greeted him in response.

Buffy was next to him in a second, injured leg be damned.

"Hey, You're up? Are you ok? Hungry? Are your wounds healed yet?" She rambled as she checked him over; he quickly pulled her hands from under his shirt and held them still.

"I'm fine Buffy." He said looking into her eyes.

"You're pale." She said looking up at his face.

He half chuckled, "I've been paler."

She frowned, "Not with a heartbeat."

"Guess I'm a bit anemic at the moment." He admitted.

She moved him to the table and Oz stood to give him his chair.

Angel nodded in thanks and sat, Buffy plopped down into his lap, wrapping her good arm around his neck. She could tell something was bothering him, but decided to wait until things between them could be discussed in private.

The gang sat around and talked more as Giles and Oz made sandwiches for everyone.

...

An hour later the gang said their good-byes, seeing the couple were fine and everyone else was eager to get home and wash up, perhaps get some sleep after a long few days.

Once alone, Buffy wrapped her arms around Angel's waist, "Come on, we both could use a bit more sleep."

He nodded and followed her up to their bedroom.

"Buffy" he said, looking like he was going to start a very long and probably heart wrenching conversation.

"Later. Please?" she asked as she pulled him into bed.

He looked like he was going to argue, but nodded instead. "Later" he agreed.

Once he was horizontal, Buffy slid in next to him, resuming her normal position, head resting on his chest, her cast lying across his abdomen.

After a moment he wrapped his arms around her, she sighed contently and let sleep pull her down.

...

He lied awake for a while, his mind shuffling through the events of the past night, the memories of Angelus.

It had been several hours since Buffy fell asleep, very gently he slid from under her, and left the bedroom.

...

Buffy awoke alone. She looked around but didn't see Angel. She called his name but got no response.

_'Damn'_ she thought, '_Angel why do you do this to yourself?'_

She figured the whole Angelus thing was giving him a major wiggins and he wandered off to brood somewhere.

_'Not tonight Buddy'_ she thought as she got up and began the search and recovery operation.

...

Buffy descended the stairs, eyes immediately focusing Angel standing by the couch, his back to her, unfolding the blanket that usually decorated the back of the sofa.

"What are you doing?" she asked when she got close, knowing the answer but needing to bait him into a conversation.

"I'm going to sleep here tonight." he answered not meeting her gaze as he spread the blanket down on his makeshift bed.

'_Like hell you are'_ she thought but said, "Why?"

He didn't want to talk about this yet; he just wanted to get some sleep, but he also knew she wasn't going to let this just drop.

"You know why." He whispered with shame, still not facing her.

"No…I don't." She reached out and spun him to face her, "You haven't done anything wrong." She stated staring directly into his sad brown eyes; he caught her gaze then looked away.

"He's still in here" he began, "I…thought he was gone, but he's not. He can still get to you."

She pushed herself closer as he tried to pull away.

"It doesn't matter" she said looking up at him.

He looked down at her, confusion in his eyes. "How can it not matter? Angelus is still here, he's inside me…."

"He's always been inside you, Angel" she shot before he could finish, "From the day we met till now. I accepted that the moment I learned about the curse. I loved you anyways…and always will."

He closed his eyes and let her words sink in, "I'm not cursed anymore" he opened his eyes, "what's to stop him from breaking free?"

She smiled and placed her hand over his beating heart, "This" she reached her other hand up and caressed his cheek, "and you."

The hand on his cheek moved back behind his neck as she stretched up to kiss him.

He didn't move away but he also didn't kiss her back.

'_Damn it, Angel why do you have to be so damn stubborn?'_ she thought with annoyance.

She ended the one way kiss by shoving him backwards, down onto the couch. A second later she was straddling his legs, successfully trapping him between her and the sofa.

"What is it going to take to convince you?" she demanded.

"It's not that" he answered quickly, then looked away, not really wanting to continue.

"Then what?" she insisted.

"What…what about those things he said to you...how he…feels what I feel." He cringed.

"So what," she shrugged, "let him feel…I'm not making love to him," she leaned in close, rapping both arms around his neck, "I'm making love to you."

She said as she kissed him again, a moment later he kissed back.

_'Gotch ya'_ she thought happily.

...

"Are we…staying here…or…going upstairs?" she asked between passionate kisses.

He stood, lifting her easily as her legs rapped around his waist, and headed for the stairs.

_'Best go now while I can still walk'_ he thought as he climbed the stairs towards their bedroom.

A few minutes, and several kisses later, Angel stepped over the threshold of the bedroom and kicked the door shut with his foot.

When he got to the bed Buffy pulled him off balance and they toppled, still tangled and kissing onto the bed.

Her hands had unbuttoned his shirt on the way to the bedroom, and she even managed to untie his sweatpants.

She rolled on top of him, pulled off his hanging shirt then started to slowly undress herself, making him wait.

The few times his hands reached to help her, she slapped them playfully away.

_'She's torturing me for trying to sleep on the couch.'_ He figured, _'but two can play at this game' _he finished thinking with an evil grin.

Once she was undressed she leaned in close, resuming their lip war, and finally giving him permission to touch, and he did.

_'Oh you brute'_ she thought as his hands moved along her body, giving her just enough to make her need increase, but not enough to fulfill it.

_'Enough waiting'_ she thought and rolled again, this time dragging him on top of her.

Using her feet and legs, and some serious Slayer agility, she pulled off his pants as her busy hands tangled in his hair and along his back.

Both of their needs for one another outgrew the petty revenge game they had been playing.

Her leg wrapped around him as she pulled him into her.

...

*Hours later*

Buffy listened sleepily to the heart beating beneath her ear; her body happily spent for the night.

She smiled as she felt Angel's fingers trace patterns on her naked back.

She turned her head and looked up at him; he was looking down at her with a sly smile.

"Uhh…don't you _ever_ get tired?" she mock complained into his chest.

He laughed, "Nope."


	7. Hidden Secrets Brought to Light, Part 1

Disclaimer: As you may have noticed, I kinda sorta brought Oz back and he and Willow are dating again. I try to stick to canon as much as possible, but I guess here I nudged a little at Willow's persona and made her more bi than gay. I don't have problems with F/F relationships, I thought Tara and Willow were great together, I was never a Kennedy fan but I loved Willow and Oz. Plus I kinda needed Oz for these stories so I just stuck them back together. I never wrote how they hooked back up, but Willow seemed to tell him the last time they spoke she would always be 'waiting' for him...so well...there you go. *Magic*

Some may wonder about Dawn, she is around...I just haven't had a place for her yet. She does show up in later fics. Lets just assume her and Connor are in school so they aren't around for the fights. Maybe she's being a teen and spending more time with friends (boyfriends?) and doing normal teen activities rather than near-death experiences and hanging with her big sis and her boyfriend. Connor is at Standford, but most likely has a part time job for the summer. (Angel sent him back to school, David Nabbit helped him find the money.)

* * *

Hidden Secrets Come To Light – October 24-26, 2004 - Almost 10 weeks after You Thought Wrong ends.

Angel stood in the center of a room, a cage.

The chains bit bitterly into his wrists. Blood trickled down his arms, down his bare chest, to soak into the lip of his pants.

The cell was dark; a small window high against the cement ceiling cast a dim glow from the night's full moon.

His body hurt, was the understatement of a lifetime.

His hands were numb; his arms were numb; shoulders, legs and feet, numb, numb and numb.

The chains that held him barely let his feet touch the floor, leaving the weight of his body to hang mostly from his shoulders.

The smell of blood and mold were his only companions, the rest of the dungeon was empty; save for a few skeletons left to rot decades before.

Angel didn't know how long he had been there, time was hard to tell; especially when your attention was being occupied with beatings and torture.

It had been sunset when he was first captured and tossed into this private room in Hell; however, time was lost on him between sudden bouts of unconsciousness.

His captors seemed to have grown bored with him; he figured it was because he didn't scream as much as they obviously wanted him too.

Centuries 'living' as a vampire and more recently, the pummeling he took from saving the world, did wonders for increasing one's tolerance of pain.

He was reminded of when Spike had him tortured for the Gem of Amarra.

However, his body was alive now, and the beatings and hours, if not days, left hanging in a cell were beginning to take a toll.

"Buffy" he mumbled to the empty space, "I know I promised not to leave you again…but I might not have a choice here."

He shut his eyes and thought of Buffy, letting her memories take him away from the pain, if only for awhile.

...

Buffy slowly fought her way back to consciousness; she became aware of hands gripping her arms, she was being part carried, part dragged.

'_Not good._'

She wanted to plant her feet, causing the goons holding her to lose there grip so she could knock them out and go find Angel. However, her body decided all it was going to do was moan weakly.

'_Damn it_' she shouted mentally to her body, '_Move! React! Hell, throw up on the guys shoes! Do something! Ahh!_'

It was useless, whatever they injected her with hadn't worn off yet, and until it did she might as well sit back and enjoy her new career as a horror move extra, and not something cool like a zombie, but the lame corpse draped over a chair for effect.

As the minutes past, she felt strength beginning to spread into her limbs again. All she needed was a few more minutes, and then she could make her move.

"Open the door" a gruffly voiced called out, fang impediment evident in his words.

A clanking and squealing of ungreased hinges sound followed; suddenly she was weightless as she was tossed into the cell.

She collided with something solid and both cried out in surprise and pain at the impact.

She slid off whatever she hit and surprisingly landed on her hands and knees.

The sudden shot of adrenaline flooded her and she bolted towards the door.

It slammed in her face, but she still wailed on it, managing to punch one of the guards threw the bars as they were turning the key.

The sound of retreating foot steps and a tacky vampire conversations was heard, then the doors down the hall being slammed shut and locked echoed throughout the level, then nothing but the sound of her erratic breathing and the pounding on the door and swearing that wasn't helping.

In fact she was sure all she was achieving was bleeding knuckles and a sore throat.

"Buffy?" A raspy voice behind her stopped her rant short and she froze. Her eyes widened in recognition of the voice and she turned, for the first time seeing Angel was behind her, chains suspending him from the ceiling.

"Angel?" she whispered.

A second later she was wrapping her arms around him, drinking in the feel of him.

He gasped when she squeezed him and she immediately loosed her grip, noticing the bruises on his upper body.

"You're alive" she breathed into an unbruised part of his chest, "O God, you're alive." She pulled back to look into his eyes. "I thought…when you didn't…." but tears of joy and sorrow chocked back the rest of her words.

She had been horrified he had been killed, Cerberus brother had learned of his demise, and wanted revenge against his killers. Then Angel didn't come home one night, that was two days ago.

"I'm sorry" he apologized, "they jumped me, knocked me out. I'm so sorry I worried you…"

Her lips on his cut him off.

The kiss was short too short; it hurt him too much to bend forward, the chains creaking in protest, along with his shoulder muscles. He desperately wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight, but it just wasn't possible at the moment.

"How dd you get here?" he asked, worried for her.

"Same as you, jumped then drugged. Well drugged then jumped..." she said trying to straighten the details.

He nodded, "Are you OK?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes, "Asks the one hanging from the ceiling."

The cuffs around his wrist were well above her reach, picking the locks would require time, time he didn't seem to have.

Buffy pulled her graze from her love and followed the chains up to where they were attached to an old metal beam.

"If I can climb up there, maybe I can dislodge it" She said to him hopefully.

"How?" he asked, "There is nothing to climb."

She grinned at him.

"Oh" he frowned. "Buffy, I've been hanging since they brought me here. I'm numb. I don't know if I can hold myself up, never mind you too."

_'Did he just call me fat'_ she wondered madly to herself. "Well, what other options do we have?" she countered. "I just leave you there?"

He looked down at his feet, and then nodded reluctantly. "I can't catch you" he admitted, "So don't fall." He tried a grin, but failed.

"This is going to hurt you a lot, isn't it?" She asked with pain filling her voice.

"What other option do we have?" He repeated back to her.

Angel closed his eyes for a moment and mentally prepared himself for a world of pain to begin, '_Hell with the day I've had this might be a relief._' He thought bitterly.

Buffy quickly shimmied up Angel, doing her best to ignore the hisses and gasps of pain that slipped from him, trying to put as much of her weight on the chains as possible and spare Angel from the agony of more pressure on his already aching body.

She managed to grab hold of one of the beams, and had enough room to pull herself up on top of it.

Once settled she examined the anchor; a metal square mounted to the beam, with two holes bored threw the metal, secured with some sort of rivet. The chains themselves welded to a pivot, allowing the chains to freely spin 360 degrees.

Well originally anyways, the entire package was solid rust, years and dank dungeon moisture taking their toll on the iron.

She braced herself and sent a few swift kicks at it, after her 6th whack, the metal cracked, two more and it snapped entirely.

Her triumph turned to concern when she heard Angel crash to the floor and scream.

...

Every muscle was in agony as he slammed into the floor; he couldn't stop the strangled scream as it ripped from his mouth.

Buffy carefully dropped down from the rafter, landing beside him and drawing the wounded man into her arms.

He gasped in pain as his blood was forced back into his numb limbs.

Buffy quickly dragged Angel's useless body against her, bracing her back against the wall and resting his back against her chest.

She wrapped her arms around him, feeling how cold he was caused a shiver to rush threw her, she remembered when he felt this cold all the time, when he was still one of the undead.

She began to rub his arms, to help re-warm him and to encourage the blood flow.

He was panting, body shaking from a combination of cold, pain and hours of being immobile.

"I'm Sorry" she whispered into his ear, feeling guilt over having to cut him down so brutally. Continuing, "We need to come up with a plan. Once you can move that is. We only have until sunrise."

"Later" he breathed between pants.

Her brow furrowed, "Later? When's later?"

He groaned, "Dunno" he managed, "When…I'm conscious."

A second later Angel went limp.

"Angel!" Buffy panicked. She instantly brought her fingers up to rest on his neck, relief washed over her when she felt his pulse, weak and a bit unsteady, but it was there,

'_Unanimously preferable over the alternative'_ She thought.

...

She leaned her head back, her arms holding her lover tightly against her, sharing her warmth with him.

It had been over an hour since Angel passed out and she was really starting to worry now.

However, the time between was well spent, not only did she remove the chains with a little help from a bobby pin from her hair; she managed to 'clean' (if you could call the puddle of rainwater in the cell clean) his wounds and bandage his broken and bruised ribs with strips torn from her button-down shirt.

Many of the minor cuts had already begun to heal, she was grateful that particular vampire power was still with him.

Awhile ago she had automatically begun to draw her thumb against his cheek, whispering encouraging words and outrageous plans to escape to the part-time vampire.

Buffy was relieved Angelus hadn't made an appearance, that could only mean Angel was in no danger of dying; she could deal with that, very much so.

"It'll be light in a few hours. Giles and the gang should be here by then." she spoke aloud, not believing he could hear her, but still hoping hope her voice would rouse him.

"Wills got this cool 'instant sun' spell, can turn even the darkest night into a mid-day vamp BBQ." She rambled, not knowing what else to do.

Angel had quietly regained consciousness a few minutes earlier, but had remained silent and still.

He was enjoying just sitting against her warm body and listening to her talk.

It was nice to have a few minutes to just relax, temporarily avoid the reality of another life or death situation.

He had spent a few minutes trying to figure out what the buzzing/fluttering sound he heard was, but soon dismissed it as his head still ringing from the pain.

He could hear the worry for him growing in her tone as she spoke about Oz's new guitar, he suddenly felt guilty about keeping her anxious.

"Instant sun would be helpful." He mumbled.

"Angel?" Buffy asked, relieved he was finally conscious.

He opened his eyes and smiled up at her, "Can't get rid of me that easily."

She bowed her head and placed a kiss on his forehead. "I was so worried." She pouted to him.

"I'm sorry" he automatically apologized.

"Can you move?" she asked, knowing time was running out, they need to move soon.

"Don't really have a choice in that do I?" he said as he sat up. He groaned as his sore muscles protested the movement. "Help me up?" he asked.

She moved from behind him and stood, "Maybe you should take it slow…"

He looked up at her, "Buffy, we're prisoners, they aren't going to let us waltz out of here. I need to be able to fight."

She nodded then stepped back, "Well then, if that's how it's going to be. Get up maggot." She said mimicking an army drill sergeant.

He shook his head at her antics then painfully pulled his legs under himself and stood. He was shaky at first, and sore as all hell, but he stayed on his feet.

He took fifteen minutes to stretch and work his muscles, get the blood flowing again, and work out the kinks.

Buffy watched him carefully as he moved, noticing every grimace and every eye twitch of pain.

"What the prognosis?" she asked after a while.

"Sore, really sore. But I can move when I need to."

She came up to him, and wrapped her arms around his waist, "Wanna spar? See if we can work out some of the kinks?"

He nodded, "Probably should…" He added with a mischievous grin, "You might even stand a chance this time."

She shot him an offended look, "Stand a chance? I can totally wipe the floor with you! Have on numerous occasions!" She rolled her sleeves up, "You're going down, buddy."

He was shirtless and didn't have sleeves to roll up, but for show he pretended to, "Bring it on."

...

Buffy circled him, looking for an opening, and he did the same to her.

They each traded blows, neither getting the chance to connect.

To the casual observer, they looked to be having a life or death match, to them, it was just a dance.

After ten long minutes, she charged him, throwing a left hook to his chin, he dodged it and spun, sending her flying past him and towards the wall, instead of stopping she ran up the wall and flipped, landing on her feet, ready for the next attack.

He was ready for her, he dropped down and swung his leg out, knocking her off her feet and into the floor, a moment later he was on top of her, pinning her arms to her sides. "Now what?" he asked with a victory smile.

"This" she said as she lifted her legs, bucking him forward, he had to release her hands in order to catch himself, to avoid a face plant into cold concrete.

Once her hands were free she pushed him off of her, did a spinning kick and sent him tumbling, a moment later she was straddling him. "Now who's on top?" she asked with a cocky smirk.

"Fine. You win." He winced as his ribs protested the position.

"Oops, sorry" she said getting up, realizing she was aggravating his injuries.

"No, no" he said, "The guards won't go easy on me, neither should you."He said standing too.

"Well I'm not a guard, I'm your girlfriend, so I get to be sorry" she wrapped her arms around his waist again, "…and be the tiniest bit proud of kicking your butt again". She finished looked up at him with a broad smile.

"Go ahead and gloat, that was a nice move." He said as he wrapped his arm around her too, his other hand smoothing out her wild hair.

"Mmm…I am and it was" she replied with a grin.

...

Buffy cast a glance towards the tiny window along the ceiling, it would be light in a little while and the cavalry should be arriving soon.

"Let's get out of here." She stated after a few minutes of just hugging her boyfriend.

He looked down at her, "I think your forgetting something…that we're prisoners…we don't actually have a key to that locked door."

"Says who?" she replied as she pulled the bobby pin she used on Angel's chains from her hair.

She looked around quickly, but didn't see any guards, actually she realized she hadn't seen or heard any since she was tossed in the cell.

After a few long minutes of trying, she heard a click as the door unlocked.

"Yes!" she cheered, "I have many skills."

"Ok Xena, time to rescue ourselves." he agreed.

...

They met very little opposition as they made their way threw the dungeon and onto the main floor. They soon discovered why, the first two floors had no entrances or exits, they had been sealed; they didn't even have large enough windows to squeeze through.

"This place defiantly fails the fire code." Buffy frowned as she followed Angel to the stairs.

"Don't think they really care about building codes." He answered, just as unhappy at the circumstances.

"Do you think they noticed we escaped yet?" she whispered.

Suddenly a loud bell started ringing throughout the structure.

"Something tells me they noticed." He shouted over the noise as he grabbed her hand and began running to where he hoped the door out was.

They finally reached an upper level with windows, they were painted black to block the sun, but they were still glass.

He managed to catch a glimpse outside, the sun was just peaking over the horizon, and they were at least three stories high.

A few vampiric guards attacked as they went, but they were easily dusted between the two of them. They ran around the corner and came up against a wall of vampires, all armed.

'_Way too many'_ he thought dejectedly.

Angel looked towards the advancing vampires, then sent a quick glance out the painted over but large window to his back.

'_Three stories, I can survive that…right?_' he wondered.

He didn't have any more time to decide as the vamps charged.

He yelled "Brace for impact" as he grabbed Buffy and crashed backwards threw the window, shattering the glass and flooding the hall with morning sunlight.

He wrapped his arms protectively around Buffy and kept his body between her and the ground.

He tried to position for a roll, but all too soon the freefall ended and his world went black.

...

Buffy stirred, a moan escaped her lips as she shifted back to consciousness for a second time today.

_'This better not become a habit'_ she whined.

She rolled over when she realized something was beneath her.

The memory of the last few minutes came flooding back as she looked down at Angel, then up at the window they had just fallen from. Her eyes widened in fear.

"Angel?" she called out to him, not being able to tear her eyes from the trail of blood that had snaked it's way down his mouth.

"Angel!" she cried, more desperate for a reply. She placed her hand on his chest, and felt the beat beneath.

She sighed in relief, "You are so lucky you're alive…if you ever try something like that again…I'll…I'll kill you!" she raged at his stupid plan that could have killed them both.

"Make it… a fast death" he groaned.

'_If she is threatening to kill me she must be alright'_ Angel thought.

"Angel?" Buffy's anger dissolved instantly and she put her hand on his cheek. "Are you Ok?" she asked, thick with worry for his health.

"Define OK." he asked with a wince as he tried to sit up.

"Should you be moving?" she yelped as she planted her hands on his chest, holding him down. "What if you broke your back? What if you have a rib pressed against your heart, or your organs popped or…" her near hysterical rant was cut short with Angel's fingers over her mouth.

"Nothings broken." He stated, "Well nothing overly vital" he amended. "Help me up."

She paused a moment then did what he asked.

He tenderly moved his body, doing a mental check of his injuries and limitations.

"What the hell were you thinking!" Buffy yelled, anger returning as fast as it left.

"Run." Angel muttered.

"Huh?" Buffy shot him a confused look and realized he was looking behind her. She turned and saw the vamp's human lackeys pouring out of the fortress, all of them armed.

"Runnings good." She agreed grabbing his hand.

...

"We can't outrun them" Angel panted, his body having taken its quota of abuse for the day.

"We don't have to. Look!" Buffy panted back.

He followed her point and saw Oz's van rushing towards them.

"About time." He groaned through gritted teeth.

The lackeys were still fifty feet away or so when the van pulled up next to them. The door opened and Xander's cocky grin greeted them. "Don't you know hitchhiking is illegal in this state?" he asked jokingly.

They saw Willow chanting in the back, eyes glowing with a spell, a second later the ground around the castle began to shake like a earthquake.

Angel cast a quick glance behind them and panicked when he realized one on the man had pulled a gun, and was aiming it at Buffy.

"Buffy!" He yelled as he rushed behind her, a second later he felt his body pushed forward from the impact of the bullet.

Buffy heard the bang over the rumble of crumbling stone and felt him gasp and crash into her, she whipped around and dragged him into the van.

As soon as they were clear, the door slammed shut and Oz had the accelerator to the floor.

Within seconds they were out of firing range, but Oz never slowed down.

The castle crashed down into a huge sinkhole, sucking in the lackeys and burying all the demons left inside.

...

As soon as the door was shut Buffy turned to Angel.

He was lying face down on the floor of the van, gasping.

"Angel!" she yelped, seeing the blood pouring from a newly made hole in the chest of the Gryphon tattoo on Angel's back.

The Scoobies rushed into action, Xander and Willow grabbing for the first aid box and Giles rushed over to Buffy to help with Angel.

"Lie still" Giles urged the former vampire (not as former at he thought though) as he knelt beside him and began examining the wound.

"Missed the shoulder blade unfortunately, if could have deflected it harmlessly away, and obviously missed the heart as well or well…you know" the watcher declared.

Willow handed Buffy a wad of gauze and she pressed it against the wound.

Angel cried out and began to cough, blood bubbling from his lips.

"Did the bullet exit?" Giles asked, Buffy couldn't tell since Angel was still laying face down.

"Angel, we need to roll you onto your side." Buffy informed him, his eyes were squeezed tightly shut but he nodded in understanding.

Angel moaned as the simple movement aggravated his already injured ribs and bruises.

Giles frowned when he saw no exit wound, "No exit wound" he clarified to the group.

"That's good right? Only one wound and not two? In this case less is more?" Willow asked hopeful.

Giles shook his head. "Unfortunately no, it means the bullet is still lodge somewhere in his chest."

"What can we do?" Buffy pleaded, Angel's head resting in her lap, as she still pressed the now soaked gauze to the wound.

"Without the proper equipment or training? Not much I'm afraid. He needs medical attention, immediately." The watcher confessed.

"Did anyone notice where we are?" Xander's voice broke the momentary silence, "That would be nowhere…middle of. We haven't seen a gas station in miles…never mind a hospital."

Angel coughed again, his breathing becoming noticeably more labored.

Buffy replaced the gauze with a fresh wad Willow handed her then pulled Angel up against her, sitting how they were only a few hours ago. "Should help you breath" she told him, hoping the upright position really would help; and if not it would at least relieve the pressure on his broken ribs.

He didn't respond and she realized he was no longer conscious.

...

Ten minutes had passed; she felt Angel shiver in her arms, as his blood drained on to her chest.

"Please don't die" she begged into his ear, "Please don't die."

Angel coughed painfully, blood snaking its way down his chin.

_'He is dying'_ Buffy realized as she held him in her arms; the gunshot wound in his back pressed tightly against her chest, but did little to stem the bleeding.

Silent tears ran down her cheeks unnoticed by her, she knew what she had to do, she hated to ask for help from _him_, but she didn't know where else to turn.

Buffy looked up to the three sets of worried eyes and frowned, "Guys, don't wig O.K.?"

She tightened her hold of Angel and was greeted by three equally confused faces, she didn't have time to talk to them, to explain to them, she could only hoped they would understand.

She pressed her lips to Angel's ear and whispered to _him_, "Angelus?...I know you're in there…..Save him…..Please."

The last word wasn't a question, and a moment later her plea was answered.

She was both equally disturbed and relieved when Angel's human features transformed into Angelus's vampire mask.

Cold yellow eyes glared up at her, a grim smile spread across his mouth, showing bloodied fangs. "Ya know Lover, the taste of blood in your mouth… isn't quite as sweet when it's your own."

"Buffy!" Xander gasped as he grabbed and raised a stake, he moved towards the vampire lying in her arms, "Get away from it!"

She wrapped her arms protectively over the vampire's heart and yelled, "Xander, Don't!"

"My God Buffy, what is going on?" Giles questioned, "You said Angel could no longer transform?"

She looked down at the 'man' she held tightly then back at Giles, "He can't" she sighed.

"So…what you're saying is…that's Angelus then?" Willow asked tentatively.

"In the flesh" Angelus replied, adding a cold laugh, however lost most of it in a cough.

"Why is it Buff, I'm always bleeding when we meet?" Buffy was in no mood to deal with the demon's attitude, she glared down at him and asked,

"Can you save him?" He could see tears threatening to fall, part of him wanted to see them fall, would revel in it; another part, the part with the soul pressing awfully close, felt motivated to help her.

He really hated that part…and it usually won.

"Don't know" he said honestly, "Pretty banged up in here." The vampire mentally checked the damage done to his body, accessing Angel's memories and matching those with the current pains.

"Buffy! What the hell is gong on?" Xander's outraged voice yelled. The van slowed and Oz turned around to see what all the fuss was about.

"Angel was dying" she told her audience, "Angelus can heal him, because he's a demon, he's stronger"

Xander laughed, "Help? Angelus doesn't help! Key word here… Demon! He's an evil homicidal maniac! Don't you remember the fear and the dying?"

"Xander is right. Angelus killed Jenny, and tortured me for hours" Giles managed threw gritted teeth, squeezing his hands into fists.

"He's sorry" Buffy protested, noticing the murderous glances the two were giving Angelus.

"Am not" Angelus countered, "I'm a demon, it's what I do. I'm evil, get over it. I'm not sorry. That's Soul boy's trauma. Not mine."

"See!" Xander shouted, "He said it himself, Evil! I say we kill him!"

Buffy glared down at the vamp, "You're not helping…"

He merely grinned.

"Xander sit down! No one is killing anyone!" Buffy steamed.

"Uhh…so if Angelus is here….does that mean Angel's …." Willow struggled over saying the word 'dead' in front of Buffy.

Buffy looked at each of her friends, pleading with her eyes for understanding. "No, Angel's soul is still in here, somewhere". She replied looking down at Angelus, he grimaced.

"Yeah, and the monster!" Xander yelled. "What's to stop him from slaughtering us? Dead boy's soul?"

"Yes!" Buffy yelled back, "Angelus isn't a threat anymore, He's a jerk, yeah, but he won't try to kill you!"

"What makes you so certain of this? Did he not just finish tell us he isn't sorry for his previous actions?" Giles countered.

Buffy took a long breath, "Since Angel's body is alive, it keeps the demon content. He isn't dead anymore, so he doesn't crave for life…doesn't need to feed…to kill. And Angel's soul prevents him from hurting innocent people."

Angelus rolled his eyes and added, "Usually."

Oz, who had been silently watching and listening spoke up, "So what you are saying is, the demon co-exists with the soul, but still two separate beings. I'm guessing Angel uses Angelus's demon powers and in return Angelus 'feeds' off Angel's living body, nullifying the bloodlust?" He arched an eyebrow and looked to her for confirmation.

"Yeah" she agreed, "About sums it up."

They were all quiet for a few moments, letting the words sink in.

...

Angelus groaned/growled as pain shot threw his body.

Buffy looked down at him, seeing the paleness and pain in his face. "Angelus?" she called, realizing now how quiet he had become; she had expected him to throw in a few more insults and taunts.

His eyes were tightly shut, demon brow wrinkled in pain, fists squeezed tight. "Bullets still inside" he whispered, unable to talk louder. "Can't heal till it's out"

"What do you need?" she asked, grateful her friends seem to have put the lynch mob idea on hold.

"Knife" he whispered.

A second later Willow sat next to them, she looked at Buffy who nodded, and handed the knife to Angelus.

'_Huh_', she thought _'I just willingly handed a knife over to Angelus. I'm in bizarro world again?'_

They all watched as Angelus took the offered knife, Xander and Giles wanted to protest, but Oz placed a hand on their shoulders and shook his head.

...

Angelus took the knife from the girl, and smiled, Willow didn't like the smile.

A second later Willow's hands reached up to her throat, where the knife a second before opened a huge hole in her neck.

Willow rose to her feet, but the sudden blood loss hit her like a bus; she fell backwards into Xander and Giles.

Buffy screamed when she realized what had happened, but Angelus was ready for her, he reached behind him and grabbed her neck, she tried to fight him off, but he was still sitting against her, successfully pinning her to the side of the van.

Without another thought, he snapped her neck. "Bye, bye baby" he whispered without even looking at her.

A second later the van slammed to a holt and all the passengers besides Angelus went flying towards the front.

He used the moment to throw the knife he still clutched in his hand; it buried itself into Giles's heart.

Oz screamed Willow's name, Xander held her body, her lifeless eyes staring wide at nothing.

Angelus grinned, "Three down, two to go."

Oz leapt over the drivers' seat, over Xander and Willow, and into the back.

He raged, his werewolf features began to present. Eyes turned black and teeth filled his mouth, his hands grew claws and fur.

He pounced at Angelus, who merely grabbed the wolf from the air and flung him into the side of the van.

"Down boy" he laughed as the werewolf landed in a pile at his feet.

As Angelus toyed with Oz, Xander looked over towards Buffy, realizing she hadn't joined the fight yet, and then he saw her blank staring eyes.

"Buffy?" he whispered, and looked towards Giles; he was dead too.

"O God, no" Xander pushed himself to his feet, finding a stake lying next to him, he charged silently at the raging vampire.

Angelus grabbed hold of Oz's neck, and squeezed.

A howl shot from the werewolf, and then a snapping sound cut off the noise.

He dropped Oz's body, and was about to finish off the boy when he felt the stake rip into his back and threw his heart.

"Take that you son of a b*tch!" Xander screamed in triumph.

"No!" Angelus cried, and whipped his arm around savagely bashing Xander away from him.

But the damage had been done; a moment later, Angelus was nothing but ash.

...

WTF? To Be Continued?


	8. Hidden Secrets Brought to Light, Part 2

And everyone is dead...right? No?

* * *

Hidden Secrets Brought to Light - Part 2 of 3

"Xander? Did you say something?" Giles asked him. "Huh? What?" he said blinking and looking around at everyone, alive. "Ahh…no… my mind…wandered…its back now." He said with a sheepish grin. His daydream (day-nightmare...daymare?) of Angelus's killing spree faded as he focused back on reality.

Angelus took the offered knife from Willow and turned the blade towards himself, running one hand along his upper right chest, feeling…searching.

He found the spot he wanted and quickly pushed the tip of the dagger in, opening a two inch wide slit.

He grimaced and handed the knife back to the witch and reached his forefinger and thumb into the wound.

He gritted his teeth as his fingers moved; a few long seconds later he pulled them out, holding a small bloody bullet.

He opened his fingers and let the projectile fall haphazardly to the floor of the van. "Was easier when I was dead" he grumbled as his eyes closed, he coughed wetly and leaned his head back onto Buffy's shoulder.

Willow placed a bandage from the first aid kit over the small wound and applied pressure to stem the bleeding.

"Thanks Will, for understanding" Buffy said as she took over applying pressure.

"I don't." she replied, "Understand I mean. This is really giving me a major wiggins Buffy. I know you want to save Angel, and well I trust you. Even if I don't like it…or trust Angelus…but you have never led us wrong…So I'll trust and help you no matter what."

A tear slid down Buffy's cheek, "I don't know to thank you, Will"

"O, I'll think of ways" she smiled, "Lots and lots of ways."

Buffy gave her friend a weak laugh, "I bet."

At that, Oz turned the van back onto the road and continued to drive.

...

The van had eaten away a few miles, the only sounds inside were the small rocks the tires picked up and flung against the undercarriage and the awful noise that passed for breathes from Angelus.

"So how is…ahh...he…doing?" Willow asked, motioning towards Angelus.

Buffy looked down at him, her heart clenching at how pale he was. She placed her free fingers over the pulse of his neck.

"I think he passed out" she frowned, "His pulse is racing but it weak; he's breathing, but barely."

Willow nodded; she could hear the rasp of his breaths from where she had sat across the van.

Giles moved closer, still keeping a respectful distance from the unconscious vampire, and asked "This has happened before, yes? The Angelus transformation I mean."

Buffy nodded, "When we fought Cerberus. Angel would have died if Angelus hadn't taken over."

All their eyes moved to the faint scar the sword wound had left on Angel's side.

"You didn't feel the need to mention this when we rescued you?" He asked, not bothering to hide his anger at them for keeping such a secret.

She shook her head at him, "No, and for the exact same reason I didn't run and tell you all when Angel came back from Hell. I knew how you would react. You proved it today."

Giles winced, "Well Buffy, I have to admit I'm very disappointed in you. Again you withheld information that could very well get us killed…."

"Angel wanted to tell you guys." She admitted, "But I asked him not to. You two have been against him from day one." She shot Giles and Xander a glace, "I had no intention of giving you more ammo to fire back at him."

"We still had a right to know," Xander piped in, "the fact you didn't trust us…"

"I didn't trust you?" Buffy shot back, "I wanted more than anything to trust you. Trusting you got Angel killed in the first place."

Xander's eyes widened, "What?" he asked looking around.

"Willow said…Kick his ass" Buffy repeated the words Xander said to her years ago outside the mansion, when she was about to face Angelus and Acathla. "You never told me Willow was trying the restoration spell again, if you had, I could have stalled him. Instead I found out too late."

A tear fell down her cheek, "And you made me kill him, you made me send him to Hell."

Giles was at a loss and Willow glared angrily at Xander.

He shriveled against the side of the van under the assault of eyes. "He was evil!" he tried to defend his actions.

"Shut up Xander" Willow threatened; the tone coming from her was uncharacteristically cold, it wasn't a Willow tone.

He didn't say another word for a long time.

"Thanks for Hell" Angelus mumbled, but his eyes remained shut.

_'Damn!_' Buffy thought, '_He's been listening the whole time? Crap!_'

"Angelus? Can you hear me?" Buffy asked, unconsciously wiping blood from his lips.

"Hmmm" he growled.

"How are you doing?" She asked realizing he seemed to be getting worse.

"Been…better" he mumbled between a cough. A beat later he added, "Been dead too".

He opened his eyes, yellow orbs meeting green. "Sorry Slayer," he struggled, "Bleedin…stopped…too late."

"What?" she gasped, "What do you mean?"

"Body's…dyin. Lost…too much…blood" he said slowly. His breaths came in short gasps, and his heart raced, beating frantically to pump blood that was no longer in his body. "When…heart stops…soul lost…kill you." He looked up, making sure she got the message.

He might not want to kill her now, but when his heart stops beating, the body dies, Angel's soul vacates and he reverts to all evil blood-lusty vampire again.

She put her wrist against his mouth, "If you need blood drink mine!" She panicked at the idea Angel would die. '_He can't die! Not now!_'

Angelus just looked at her, then down at her wrist.

"Uhh…Buffy, is that wise?" Giles spoke up, but he was ignored.

"Please" Buffy pleaded into Angelus's ear, "I can't lose him, not now."

"You're…sure?" he asked, glancing back into her eyes. "I'm sure" she replied.

She pushed her arm up against his fangs and he latched his mouth around the two small holes.

He sucked the wounds, enjoying the taste of the warm blood as it flowed down his throat, the tingling of her blood against his teeth, Slayer blood.

Her heart beating wildly with fear encouraged him, calling to his dark nature.

His own heart hammered along with hers, enjoying the thrall of it.

Then there was another beating, fast, very fast. He barely had three mouthfuls when he tasted something different in her blood. He quickly pulled her arm from his mouth and placed his fingers over the puncture wounds to stop the bleeding.

"That couldn't have been enough" she responded to his sudden rejection.

She would have argued further but she saw something flash in his eyes, a confusion, like he was trying to remember something.

"Can't drink your blood" he said flatly.

"You nearly drained me before!" Her panic surfacing again, remembering her graduation day, "I survived that!"

His yellow eyes stared right into her green ones, "You weren't pregnant then." he answered toneless.

A collective gasp went through the 'audience'.

Her eyes widened, she couldn't believe she hadn't even thought of that.

"Oh…right" she said sheepishly. She glanced up at her friends, they all looked back sympathetically at her, even Oz who had pulled the van over to listen.

They all finally understood her desperation.

"Ahh…Congratulations Buffy!" Willow said enthusiastically, "How far along are you?"

"My God Buffy" Giles, moved over towards her, "Why didn't you tell us?"

She looked down at nothing in particular, "Almost 10 weeks Will" she tried to smile then frowned "Angel didn't know yet" she whispered, "Now everyone knows before him…."

A collective wince went through the Scooby's.

Buffy focused her attention back to Angelus, "Was that enough?" she asked hopeful.

He looked up at her, then away, but didn't reply.

She felt tears threatening to fall again.

Silence fell, save for Angelus's raspy breaths.

...

"I'm a blood donor" Willow spoke up after a few awkward minutes.

Buffy looked up at her and she continued, "You know, I could…uhh…donate?"

"I can't ask you to do that Will" Buffy said sadly.

"Well, you didn't ask...I just offered, remember." She looked to Angelus, "That is if it works for you. Does that work for you?"

He glanced up to the redhead, "Blood is blood" he replied wearily.

"I do not understand" Giles inserted, "I thought you said Angelus couldn't drink blood any longer."

"No, I said he doesn't _crave_ it, not that he can't drink it. Angel's body makes it's own blood now, so the demon usually feeds off that, but in desperate situations...like when he's hurt...bad..." Buffy trailed off, grief closing down her throat.

"Yeah, offer me a jelly donut and I'll eat it if I'm hungry or not" Xander joked, a glare from the Scooby's shot him down. "And now back to shutting up" he mumbled to himself.

"Willow?" Oz's voice was thick with concern.

He pulled he van to the side of the road, not that there was anyone else driving nearby, and joined them in the back.

"I'll be fine Oz, don't worry" she reassured him, then she turned back to face Angelus, "Right? Nothing to worry about? I won't become a vamp or anything?"

He grinned, "Not unless you want to. Made a pretty good one as I recall."

Her cheeks went red at the memory of her alternate universe vampire double.

"Don't start" Buffy chastised the vamp, "No Will, You'll be fine" She said still glaring at the vamp. "Right?"

His grin never faded, "Anything you want Lover."

'_My blood may not have been enough to heal him, but it certainly sparked his attitude._' The slayer thought dryly.

...

A few minutes later Willow was sitting cross legged in front of Buffy and Angelus.

'_She hasn't moved or let go of him once since they sat there'_ Willow thought idly, trying to think of anything but the fact she was about to let herself be freely bitten by Angelus.

'_Funny, I thought handing him a knife was the trauma of my day_.'

She smiled at Buffy, and then offered her arm as Buffy had a few minutes ago.

Angelus gently held her arm, "You're sure?" he asked looking into her eyes.

"Yeah" she squeaked, those yellow eyes throwing her into a major wiggins.

"Say when" he added dryly. He gripped tighter, not painful but enough to keep her arm from thrashing, and bit. Willow gasped at the sudden pain; Oz placed a hand on her shoulder, anxious about the girls safely.

Angelus removed his fangs and let the blood flow freely into his mouth, the witch's blood was heavy with power. He felt her heart beating, fear making the blood sweet, he counted them, the beats; centuries drinking blood taught him to read the beats.

He knew exactly how many mouthfuls he could take until the person felt faint, how many until they fell unconscious, and how many until the heart stopped.

"Umm…ok…starting to get dizzy" Willow worried, looking down at the vampire latched onto her arm.

Angelus knew she wasn't in any danger yet, merely weak from fear. He continued to drink, listening to her heartbeat.

Oz Growled.

"Angelus." Buffy warned, noticing Willows growing distress.

Buffy had expected him to stop immediately when Willow spoke, and when he didn't she took quick action. Her hand when around Angelus's neck, and squeezed with enough pressure to get his attention but not to hurt him…too much.

"She said stop" the Slayer hissed into his ear.

Angelus immediately released Willow, leaning back and letting his tongue clean his fangs.

Xander sent the vampire a glare, but kept silent.

Buffy scowled down at the vamp, He glanced up and smirked, "Relax slayer, she wasn't in any danger; didn't take any more than the blood bank would have."

"You OK Will?" Buffy asked the witch who was leaning against Oz.

"Yeah, I…I think so. Just a bit woozy." Oz pulled her against the side of the van and sat with her much like Buffy and Angelus.

"How about you?" Buffy asked to the vamp lying against her.

"Lost a lot more than I gained" he replied. She placed her fingers on his neck and felt his pulse; it was better, but still fast and weak.

"I'll volunteer too. Not a big fan of Angelus here, but I like Angel. He's a cool guy." Oz spoke up.

Angelus looked him up and down. "Not a chance" he retorted

"No?" Oz asked, face mostly expressionless but still clearly hurt that his offer was being so quickly snuffed.

"Lycanthrope, a curse in the blood" Angelus answered. "Sounds like it could be a fun experiment. Vampire and werewolf hybrid, but I'm not volunteering. Got enough problems between myself and Soulboy to add another demon into the mix."

Oz nodded, "Point taken."

The part time werewolf looked back down at to Willow. "You all right?"

She smiled at him, "I'm OK Oz, really. And I'm very proud of you, offering your blood and all. Even if it's cursed. Oh in a good way I mean. Think my brain is still a little zonked." She said with a frown.

"I can deal with zonked" he said with a slight grin.

He placed a quick kiss on her forehead, "Gunna get back to the road now" and he made his way back to the driver's seat.

A few minutes later the van was rolling down the highway, still not another car in sight.

...

Giles came over and sat across from the slayer and her vampire. "I must admit Buffy, Lord knows I am not entirely comfortable with some of the choices you have made in your life. But I do understand it is _your_ life. Perhaps I could give you more encouragement and less grief about those choices. I also admit in the recent past I've been rather hash towards Angel. In light of the current situation, I find a blood donation could be useful, especially if I wish to see him live long enough to speak to him about the matter and apologize properly."

Buffy smiled at him, "Thank you, Giles."

Giles turned his focus to the paler than normal vampire, "However, I cannot say the same for you. You murdered the woman I loved, tortured me mercilessly, and deeply hurt the people closest to me. I will never forgive you for those atrocities."

Angelus looked him up and down, "Wouldn't believe you if you said you did."

He paused then quickly added, "If it's any consolation, I killed her quick."

"Angelus!" Buffy scolded, but not entirely shocked at his words, it really threw her how different the 'souled' and 'unsouled' versions of her lover were.

Giles went ridged. "No, it isn't really. However, coming for you, that is most likely the closest to sympathy one could expect."

Giles quickly shed his tweed jacket and rolled his left sleeve up. "Yes, well, let's get this over and done with shall we. I find my tolerance for you has waned."

Angelus wrapped cold fingers around the offered arm, gave the watcher one last look, and then sank his teeth into flesh.

Pain flashed across the English librarian's face, but he quickly pushed it aside. Images of Jenny Calendar, his torture, and the six months of Angelus's rein over Sunnydale flashed through his mind; the pain from the bite was minuscule by comparison.

Angelus greedily drank the offered blood; he reveled in the fact Angel would be horrified he had drank the blood of Buffy and her friends.

Angelus listened to the watcher's heartbeat, he felt it with every gush of blood that entered his mouth. He felt the darkness in the watcher, Ripper, locked away much as he had been within Angel all those years.

'_Giles would make an amazing vampire'_, he thought leisurely, '_Advance knowledge of the occult, demons and literature, years of watcher training, skills as a warrior, and the wonderful darkness that already exists within. He could be a vampire king*._'

Pressure against his throat returned Angelus's attention back to his victim, he sensed the increase in heart rate in the watcher, the signal to let go without causing harm.

The vampire released the other man's arm; Giles quickly plugged the twin wounds with a pad of gauze Willow handed him.

"Heart isn't what it used to be, is it old man?" Angelus taunted the slightly pale watcher.

Giles glared at him a moment, then bit back a response, deciding the demon wasn't worth the effort.

Buffy shot the vampire a disapproving glace.

"Are you OK, Giles?"

"I've been worse, Buffy." He answered truthfully. He sat down next to Willow, and rested his back and head against the wall of the van.

Buffy placed her fingers against Angelus's throat again, his pulse was still weak, but his heart no longer beat frantically for blood.

"Guess you're stuck with me for a while longer, Buff." Angelus scoffed.

The terror that Angel would die today subsided, Angelus was weak, but for the moment, stable.

...

"Still accepting donations?" Xander asked from his corner of the van.

Both Buffy and Angelus looked over at him in shock.

"You're kidding right?" the demon asked.

"That's not necessary, Xander" Buffy said sincerely, "But thanks for offering."

"No I think it is." Xander continued, "I admit it. I don't like Angel." He looked directly into Angelus's eyes, "And I _really_ hate you."

Angelus growled.

Xander looked back to Buffy, "I know I can never make amends for what I put you through Buff, but I'd like to take the first step in the right direction. If you let me."

She stared at him for a moment, thinking over what he had just said.

"Fine" she finally answered, "But don't expect me to stop Angel if he decides to beat the crap out of you."

Xander winced, "I can live with that…unless _he_ kills me" Xander pulled the sleeve of his shirt up to expose the naked flesh.

He extended his arm and the demon grabbed it, tight enough to bruise.

Angelus's lip curled into a grim smirk. "Feelings mutual, boy."

"No permanent damage" Buffy urged into the demon's ear.

'_O god, this is going to suck big time'_ Xander thought to himself, '_pun intended'_ he added miserably.

Angelus growled in response, a second later he buried his fangs into Xander's arm. Out of spite, he sank his teeth in far deeper than was necessary, thoroughly enjoying the yelp of pain it brought from the boy.

The demon relaxed his jaw, letting the blood flow down his throat. The blood lost some of its vigor now that his body wasn't desperate for it, but it did empower him; helping to recharge his sapped strength.

A long minute later, Angelus practically spit Xander's arm from his mouth.

Xander gasped at the freely bleeding wound.

Before anyone could react, Angelus shot from Buffy's lap and slammed Xander against the side of the van, causing the van to rock sideways for a second and forcing Willow and Giles to duck out of the way.

Oz immediately steered the van into the breakdown lane.

"If you think that was painful, try experiencing 100 years in Hell!" Angelus growled at the suspended Xander, his claws clenched tightly around the boy's neck.

"ANGELUS!" Buffy yelled as she shot to her feet, fearing he would kill Xander.

"I should have killed you." he growled and opened his claws, letting a dazed and coughing Xander crumple to the floor.

Buffy grabbed onto Angelus, yanked him away from the struggling man at his feet.

Willow and Giles rushed forward to help Xander.

Angelus felt his soul rebel at him; he let himself be pulled back.

Buffy was about to scream at Angelus, or possibly knock him out, when the demon's features disappeared, leaving Angel's chocolate brown eyes blinking at her.

"Buffy?" he managed before his eyes rolled back in his head and his legs buckled from beneath him.

She dashed forward, bracing him and controlling his fall.

"Angel!" she cried, as she leaned him again the wall of the van. She checked his pulse if found it strong and steady, his breathing clear and even. She let out a sigh of relief, and then turned her attention back to Xander.

"That bastard tied to kill me!" Xander yelled between chokes and coughs.

"No, you're really lucky he didn't" she said as she knelt in front of him. "Anything serious?" she asked as she looked him over.

"Pretty sure my pride and dignity suffered lethal blows" he grumbled.

He had some nasty looking bruises forming on his neck and a few shallow scratched on this throat from Angelus's claws. Plus the bite wound. She glanced up at the wall of the van and noticed the dent.

'_Back will be sore tomorrow'_ she thought.

Xander glanced behind her, and noticed Angel propped up against the wall. "Angelus is gone?" he asked.

"Yeah" she nodded. "The change seems to knock Angel out for a while."

"Kind of envy the guy, unconsciousness sounds like a paradise vacation right about now." Xander mumbled.

Giles turned to Oz who had been watching the scene since he pulled the van off the road, "Everything seems to be back in order, Oz; Let us resume the drive shall we?"

Satisfied the excitement was over, Oz shrugged and went back to the driver's seat.

Giles settled himself down in the passenger seat, needing to get as far away from the near constant chaos as possible.

Willow and Buffy quickly patched up Xander as best they could with the dwindling first aid supplies.

When everything returned to 'normal' Buffy finally let herself relax a bit. She stood and looked around, everyone besides Oz, seemed to be either unconscious, asleep or very close to sleep.

She glanced down at herself and was stricken by the amount of blood drenching almost her entire outfit. "O God" she whispered, finally understanding just how close to dying Angel had come.

She walked the few steps to him and slid down beside him, resting her head against his chest, careful to avoid his half-healed injuries. The thump of his beating heart reassured her he was alive, exhaustion factored in with the relief and she quickly fell asleep to the sound.

An hour later than van pulled up to the first building in a long time.

The Last Rest Motel, read the neon red sign, well more accurately, T e st Res tel, if you factored in the burned out letters.

Oz turned in the driver's seat and whistled loudly into the back.

Three of the five in the van woke and looked around for the source of their rude awakening. When they turned toward him he gestured to the visible motel sign. "Bed?"

Buffy reluctantly stood, shaking sleep from her eyes. Willow and Giles got groggily to their feet as well.

Willow gently shook Xander, "Not the gumdrop buttons!" he yelped, once awake he looked around confused for a second then added embarrassed, "I have a lot of childhood trauma."

Oz and Giles made their way to the office to book the rooms. A few minutes later they returned with keys to the three rooms closest to the van; being 5,6 and 7.

Oz and Giles helped Xander up and into the first room, number 5.

Willow handed Buffy key number 7, and kept number 6 for her and Oz.

Buffy knelt beside Angel and gently patted his face. "Angel?" she called to him, "I need you wake up. Just for a minute, please?"

A few seconds later he groaned, his eyes fluttering open, and focused on her face.

"We need to move, Ok?" she encouraged and tugged at his arms. She could tell he wasn't fully conscious, but he responded to her commands, and rose unsteadily to his feet.

Willow helped Buffy brace him as they walked to their room. A minute later Angel was sitting on the bed and Buffy was saying goodnight to those who were still awake.

Buffy closed and locked the door; she began to peel off her ruined clothes and though of sleeping for a month.

She had just unbuttoned the shirt when she realized Angel was no longer sitting on the bed. She look down at the floor beside the bed but didn't see him there, she heard the shower turn on and noticed the bathroom door was closed.

'_He might be on to something_' she thought as she looked down at her blood stained skin.

She moved over to the door and knocked, "Angel?" she called.

He didn't respond, so she tried the knob; thankfully it was unlocked. Not that she couldn't have forced it...

She opened the door and stepped inside, closing it behind her.

His back was to her, and her breath caught in her throat when she saw the blood covering it. She noticed his back matched his blood stains on her chest.

"Angel?" she called again, then reached out and touched his arm.

He jumped, startled. "Sorry" she winced.

He nodded, still out of it.

She reached out and helped him remove his belt and pants then into the hot water. A few seconds later she had stripped and joined him.

Under better circumstances, sharing the shower with Angel would have defiantly led to much intimate and erotic behavior. However, neither of them had the extra energy to spend.

Quickly they scrubbed off as much blood from their bodies as possible and within 5 minutes were toweling themselves dry.

Neither of them bothered to put their ruined clothes back on; walking to the bed Buffy grimaced at the numerous dark bruises that covered Angel's back and chest.

They barely stayed awake long enough to shut the lights and pull the covers over themselves.

...

Angel awoke with a start.

Nightmares had riddled him for a majority of the night, actually that was a lie; memories of the previous few hours as Angelus had ravaged his mind.

He had said things, done things, but none more horrifying as drinking from Buffy, and her friends.

He stole a glance over at the woman sleeping on the other side of the bed.

He was thankful of the space between them, he didn't deserve her touch.

His body felt much how he imagined a well used punching bag would feel. Angelus had exhausted all his healing power to repair the more fatal injuries to 'their' body, leaving the minor wounds still open and raw.

Angel slowly and painfully climbed from the bed, careful not to wake the sleeping slayer. He become starkly aware of his nakedness a few seconds later.

_'Can't go out like this'_ he though idly.

He quietly searched the bathroom floor for his previously discarded pants, which he quickly found, thanks to his night vision, balled in the corner.

He stifled a groan, and as silently as possible slid the on, grimacing at the feeling of his dried blood on them. He hoped the black of his pants would mask the blood stains to the casual observer.

_'Pants…check. Still missing, shirt, shoes, keys and money…..damn._'

Angel tip-toed to the door dividing rooms 6 and 7, and tried the knob, unlocked. He let out a sigh, then proceeded to sneak into the room. He could make out Oz and Willow curled around one another on the queen bed, careful not to wake them he snatched the keys to the van and Oz's wallet off the bedside table, and after a beat, grabbed Oz's button down shirt off the chair.

He retreated back to his room with the stolen goods and closed the door.

He cast a glace towards Buffy, still sleeping; _'She must be more tired than I thought,_' he was amazed she hadn't awakened and caught him creeping about.

Before his luck could run out he unlocked his room door, and snuck out into the night.

He shrugged on the too small shirt, and winced from the pain it brought to his still sore shoulders, and stuck the wallet in his pocket. He unlocked the van and started the engine, and quickly drove away before the sound could rouse the gang.

...

Buffy awoke to the sounds of an engine starting; she didn't think much of it and rolled over, reaching out to Angel just to confirm he was still there.

He wasn't.

She sat up and looked around, "Angel?" she called, but received no reply.

She rolled over and turned on the bedside lamp, shooting a quick glace at the clock, 6:43am, and looked around the room for her love.

He was gone; a nagging fear crawled up her spine as she rose from the bed and wrapped a sheet around herself as makeshift clothing.

She glanced out the window and knew she wouldn't see the van; and she didn't.

Looking around more she discovered his pants were gone and the door between her room and Willow and Oz's was partly open. She glanced inside and realized Oz's wallet and keys were missing.

She closed the door and sat back down heavily on the bed. "Angel, where the hell did you go?" she whispered to herself. '_Did he leave me again?_' she wondered, heart constricting painfully.

...

Did he leave again!?

I know, I know...again with a cliffhanger...I'm notorious for these.

- Giles a vampire king * Idea taken from Buffy book The Lost Slayer, by Christopher Golden.* Good read if you haven't.


	9. Hidden Secrets Brought to Light, Part 3

Hidden Secrets Brought to Light - Part 3

* * *

The van pulled into a parking lot for a store about 4 miles from the motel. The lot was empty, save for a aging pine green Ford Focus.

It was a typical small town department store, it had just about everything, since it was just about the only store around.

Angel sat in the van for a few minutes and waited for 7am, when the store officially opened.

A woman appeared in the front window display and flipped the closed sign to open; he got out and headed inside. The older woman behind the register looked up as he walked in, and then glanced down at his naked feet.

He shrugged to her, hiding the pain it caused him, and said with a mild grin "Rough night".

She nodded, not looking completely convinced, but didn't pursue the subject. There wasn't a 'no shirt, no shoes, no service sign' out front. He made a bee line to the men's shoes and found a pair of black sneakers; he grabbed a pair of socks and went to the clothes section. Variety was limited, so he ended up with a royal blue button-down shirt, an undershirt, blue pinstripe boxers and a pair of black slacks.

He thought for a moment then went to the woman's clothes and picked out an outfit for Buffy, remembering her clothes had been ruined by his blood. He also grabbed her some undergarments and a few toiletry supplies. He was about to head to the register when he thought of something else, and wandered down the vitamin isle.

A few minutes later he was at the counter giving a weak smile to the older woman, who still gave him a disapproving frown. She paused and glanced up at him when she scanned the prenatal vitamins, "For my…wife." He lied, but hoped it wouldn't be one for long.

He paid for his items with Oz's stolen credit card, and scurried out of the store.

Once back in the van he pulled the tags and stickers off the merchandize and donned his new clothes, finally feeling like a person again.

He couldn't help but look as his eyes fell upon the dried blood on the floor of the van, '_Most of that is mine_.' He cringed. '_I guess I owe Oz a van cleaning… and repair_.' He added when he saw the dent Angelus left from Xander's back. '_Crap. I need to apologize to him too…or not_.'

He reached inside one of the bags and popped the top off an aspirin bottle and swallowed a few dry.

He started the van and pulled up to a dumpster in the lot, tossed his blood-soaked pants out the window into the garbage. '_Good riddance_.'

A moment later he drove the van pulled out of the parking lot, steering the vehicle in the direction of the motel.

A mile later he noticed a coffee shop and pulled into the vacant lot, parked the van and went inside.

Ten minutes later he exited with two trays of beverages and two large bags of assorted breakfast items.

Once back in the van he couldn't resist the smell of food, realizing he hadn't eaten in…days? He scoffed down two chocolate chip muffins and guzzled down a bottle of water, then headed back to the motel.

...

At 7:48am Buffy heard the van pull up, she looked out the window and saw Angel in the driver's seat.

'_Oh thank God! He didn't leave me again_,' She tighten the sheet, re-wrapping it as covering as possible. She hurried to the door dashed outside to him.

"Where did you go!" she yelled at him, instantly sorry for her harsh tone when he winced. Her voice softened, "I was worried" she added a second later.

"Sorry" he mumbled as he got out of the van and slid the side door open.

Her attention was drawn to his clothes and the bags, "You went shopping?" She asked, astonished, "You hate shopping. And you didn't bring me" she finished with a frown.

"You were sleeping." He countered, and noting her state of attire, "and not really dressed for it."

"And you were?" she shot back, defiant to the end.

He ignored the comment and grabbed a bag from the back and handed it to her.

She looked at him for a moment than peeked inside. She beamed at him, "You bought me clothes!" she squealed and hugged him, careful not to squeeze his ribs.

Oz glanced out the window at the van's sudden reappearance, and figured out fairly quickly that he DID put his wallet next to the bed the previous night and that SOMEONE had stolen it, and not that he 'must have misplaced it' as Willow had suggested when he mentioned they were missing.

He strolled outside and peered intently at the part time vampire.

Angel noticed him approach and quickly squirmed out of Buffy's arms.

"Ahh...Hey Oz," Angel said with mock happy, "I ahh…guess your looking for these." Angel tentatively handed the wallet and keys back to their rightful owner.

"Yeah…thanks." The part time werewolf replied as he slid the stolen items back into his pants pockets.

"Listen Oz, I'm sorry. I'll pay you back…with interest." Angel apologized.

"It's cool, man" Oz insisted shrugging, "The others made a blood donation to the Angel fund, mine was credit."

For a moment Angel looked stricken, then gave the current redhead a weak smile and nodded his head. "Yeah" he said weakly.

Oz turned to go back to the room but was called back by Angel, when he came over to the open door, Angel handed him a coffee tray, a bag and the shirt he had borrowed without permission.

Oz raised an eyebrow.

"Bought coffee and breakfast for everyone" Angel admitted. "As thanks? Can you make the rounds?"

"Yeah, sure." Oz agreed, nodded his head in thanks, then left to deliver the goods.

Buffy had stood silently off to the side, waiting for her turn again. Once Oz left, she drifted back over to Angel, noticing how tired he suddenly looked. "Are you Ok?" She asked looking into his eyes for an honest answer and laying a hand on him arm.

"Fine" he mumbled, not meeting her gaze. He diverted his eyes to the back of the van, reaching in and grabbing the other two shopping bags and the breakfast bag.

He slung the shopping bags on his forearm and held the pastry bag under him arm, then handed the second coffee tray to Buffy.

Once the van was empty, he slid the van door shut with his free hand, Buffy noticed him wince as he did so.

She turned and heading back to the room, deciding to wait until inside to confront Angel, she was relieved he was following.

Once inside, Buffy placed the tray on the nearby table then turned to shut the door.

Angel walked over to the bed and put the shopping bag down, then turned and sat down heavily on the mattress.

She placed her bag on the bed next to his and stood beside him. "Angel?" she asked in a worried tone, slowly raising a hand to caress his cheek.

"Sorry" he muttered, not looking quite all-there. "Tired".

When he didn't shy away from her touch, she rapped her arms around his head and drew him against her, running her fingers gently through his hair.

She resisted the urge to ask him why he left in the first place; instead she started to unbutton his shirt. "Then sleep."

He shook his head and stood, "Not yet." He removed the unbuttoned shirt and stepped out of his shoes, then headed to the bathroom, a few seconds later she heard the shower turn on.

Buffy idled around the room, waiting patiently for Angel to finish his shower. _'Why does he need to shower again anyways? How dirty could he have gotten since last night?'_ After a moment, "_Unless he's trying to wash off the feeling of Angelus all over him? Or maybe the heat from the water is soothing the pain from his bruises?' _She shook her head, '_Maybe he just went in for some space and to brood?'_

Her attention was drawn to the smell coming from the paper bag sitting on the table, the smell of fresh baked pastry. She casually opened the bag of food and suddenly realized she was ravenous. _'Haven't eaten in how long? That can't be good for the baby...'_

Two jelly donuts and blueberry muffin later she resealed the bag and put it on the table. She plucked a water from the coffee tray and sucked down most of it.

Once her stomach was full, her attention was drawn back to the bag Angel had given her outside. She skipped over to it and took the clothes out, smiling at his surprisingly amazing fashion sense; a simple pair of black slacks, a white tank top, and soft fuzzy white sweater.

Beneath those she found a nice lavender bra and panty set and a few assorted toiletries; hairbrush, toothbrush & paste, deodorant, razor and a nail file. She laughed when she saw the nail file, she remembering a conversation she had with him a few months ago about how a nail file _was_ an essential.

The last thing she noticed was a bottle; '_He bought me vitamins?_' she pondered, then pick it up and read the label; One-A-Day, Woman's Prenatal Vitamins.

Her eyes widen when she abruptly remembered never actually talking to Angel about her pregnancy, it was Angelus who found out_. _

_'No wonder he's been distant, I betrayed him. Everyone knew…Angelus knew… I was pregnant before he did…I'm an awful person._' She felt nauseous, and it had nothing to do with morning sickness.

She imagined having to learn about something that important from her evil alter ego's memories. _'No wonder you took off this morning._'

She opened the bottle and shook out one of the not-so-little pills, '_Guess I should take one, been hell on this poor kid lately...honestly I'm surprised I didn't lose it. Not to mention extremely grateful._' She swallowed down the pill, making a face at the aftertaste.

...

The water turned off and a few minutes later Angel walked out wearing only boxers; toweling off his hair with one hand and dropping his clothes on the chair next to the bed.

"Angel!" Buffy moaned when she saw him, her inner torment postponed when she looked at his body. Black, blue, red, yellow, purple, hell every color in the rainbow, bruises covered his body.

He reached inside one of his bags and pulled out the bottle of aspirin, shaking out three and swallowing them dry.

"Your ribs" she said, standing to look him over, and not liking what she found; his back was worse, nearly completely one giant bruise. She noticed a first aid kit sticking out of one of his bags and grabbed it and ordered him to sit on the bed so she could bind his if not broken, severely bruised, ribs.

He obeyed without a word and let her tend to him, wincing as she bound his ribs and spread ointment on some of his wounds.

"You're not healing." She pouted, once she was done bandaging him.

"I will…the gunshot took a lot… need time to recharge." He replied sullenly.

"Then lay down already, rest, you look like you're about to keel over" She urged as she lifted his legs and swung them onto the bed.

He lay down without protest and she pulled the covers up to his chest, his eyes were already shut.

She sat next to him on the bed, and stroked his hair until he drifted off.

It didn't take long for him to fall asleep, his injuries and lack of actual sleep the nights before quickly conspired against him.

...

Once he fell asleep, Buffy quietly cleaned herself up and got dressed. With her hair brushed, teeth brushed and wearing actual clothes she felt like a human being again.

She thought about tying Angel to the bed to make sure he didn't wander off again, but decided against it, besides, she didn't have any rope.

She listened at the conjoining door between her room and Oz & Willows, but heard nothing. Figuring they were all in Xander & Giles room, she cast a worried glance towards Angel; then went to talk to her friends.

"Come in." came the reply from room 5 when she knocked. She opened the door and stepped in.

Xander and Willow were sitting cross legged next to each other in the bed, Oz and Giles sat at the chairs around the small table. Each had a coffee cup and an assorted pastry.

Those that 'gave blood' all looked fully recovered and cheerful under the circumstances. Well except the cloud of anger hanging over Xander.

"Hey guys" she pitched.

"Hey Buff, Hi and Hello Buffy," replied back. Oz just nodded his head.

"Is something the matter Buffy?" Giles asked concern evident in his voice.

"No…Just checking in." she answered, twirling her fingers in her hand. "Making sure everyone's alright."

The Scooby gang nodded, this wasn't the worst after battle recovery they had lived though. Actually it was fairly mellow.

"Oh Buffy" Willow stood up, "I almost forgot, there is something I wanted to show you, come on, it's in my room." She said, practically dragging Buffy with her.

Once the two women were in room 6, Buffy turned to her friend. "So what did you want to show me Will?"

"What? Oh, nothing" She replied, "I can see you need to talk, so here we are, alone."

Buffy smiled. "You are way too good to me." She replied, sitting at the small table.

"I know, I have a bad case of best-friend." Willow joked back. "So, have you talked to Angel yet?" the redhead asked.

"No" Buffy replied depressed. "He was really tired when he came back, I want to though…I'm just not sure how to begin. I feel like I betrayed him, keeping my pregnancy a secret, then everyone knows before him. I feel awful."

"Understandable" the witch said, sitting in the other chair and placing her hand on Buffy's arm. "I'm sure he'll understand, I mean you guys have like, the ultimate love of all time."

Buffy couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Sometimes I wish we didn't."

Willow looked at her friend, "You don't want to be with him?"

Buffy looked stricken, "No, I mean yes, I mean I _do_ want to be with him, more than anything. That's what makes this so hard. There is always something trying to drive us apart. Monsters, demons, apocalypses…We've been back together less than a year and he's nearly died _three_ times! I couldn't handle that again."

She placed a hand over her still flat stomach, "Especially not now."

Willow stood and hugged her friend close, just listening as the girl vented her fears.

"I'm terrified I'll have to raise this baby alone. That he'll decide I'm safer without him, or something will happen…" she chocked back a sob, "I feel so lost Will."

The redhead held her, patting her back and letting her cry. "I can't speak for Angel, that's between the two of you" she told Buffy, "I can only speak for me, and I would never let you raise your baby alone. You will always have me, the gang, Giles, and I'm positive Angel wouldn't ever leave you again."

Buffy smiled, "Thank you" she said composing herself, "Thank you so much. I owe you like everything by now."

"Well if it's a girl, Willow is a very nice name." the witch joked.

Buffy laughed, "I'll think about it."

"You should get some rest Buffy, you look exhausted. And talk to Angel, you both really need it."

Buffy nodded. "I will. Thanks again" She turned and headed for the connecting door, feeling a little lighter than earlier.

...

Angel closed his eyes when he heard the knob turn, he didn't want her to know he had been listening to her conversation with Willow.

Buffy slipped back into her room and quietly shut the door. Not wanting to wake Angel, she tip-toed into the bathroom and stripped off everything but her panties.

They were the only clothes she had and she didn't want to sleep in them, so she folded them in a neat pile then headed to bed.

With as little noise as possible she slipped under the covers on the opposite side of the bed, she sent a quick glace next to her, as far as she could tell he was still sleeping.

She tired to get comfortable, but kept having to toss and turn, never being able to find a good spot. She was about to give up when Angel shifted, and lifted his right arm.

A second later Buffy slid up against him and he wrapped his arm around her.

"Does this hurt? I can move" she asked not wanting to lean on his bruises.

"No, you're fine" he said as she pillowed her head on his shoulder. It hurt, but it was a good kind of pain.

There were so many things she wanted to say to him, but before she could, she fell sound asleep in his arms.

Angel watched her sleep for a few minutes, with her pressed so close to him, he could hear the fluttering heartbeat of their unborn child.

He knew they needed to talk, that things weren't exactly _right_ between them. But it could wait.

Buffy was sleeping against him, everyone was alive and safe, the world wasn't in jeopardy again...things were better than they could have been.

Content, he let himself fall asleep too.

...

It was late afternoon when Buffy awoke to a steady thump, thump, thump beneath her ear. Automatically she reached her arm around Angel's chest and squeezed herself into him further.

Her brow furrowed in confusion when her arm brushed the bandage around his chest, a moment later she remembered his injuries. She pulled herself away instantly, looking down at him in the dull light struggling in behind the closed curtains.

He shifted in sleep at her sudden movement but didn't awaken.

The dark colors of his bruises had disappeared, leaving only a faint red outline to indicate where they had been.

'_At least his healing is up and running again_.' She gently lowered herself back down; knowing the bones of his ribs would have healed long before the bruises.

A short time later, Angel's heart rate and breathing increased, indicated he was awake too.

"Hey" he whispered.

"Hey" she replied.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

"I overheard you talking to Willow" he said to break the silence.

"You were listening!" she panicked hiding her face in his chest, trying to remember exactly what she had said.

"Well I wasn't standing at the door or anything." He said truthfully, "I woke up when you left. Vampire hearing, thin door, couldn't help it." He shrugged.

She didn't look at him, she was afraid to.

"Willow was right," he said, placing his fingers under her chin and lifting, locking her eyes to his, he said slowly and with emphasis, "I will never willingly leave you again."

As she stared into his beautiful, soulful brown eyes, she felt hers overflow with tears. She hadn't realized how desperately she had needed to hear those words. As tears streamed down her face she whispered, "Thank you. I really needed to hear that."

He gently rubbed his thumb across her back, "I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. I thought it...just never actually said it to you."

She laid her head back down over his heart, and his hand moved to caress her hair.

"But I'll still worry about the unwillingly" she whispered.

"You shouldn't, we can't make those kinds of decisions, they are made for us" he countered, knowing there wasn't much he could do about being killed in battle or by some freak accident, or who else knows with the history they have.

She looked up at him again, "What about the decisions you made alone? One's to 'protect' me. Tell me you'll never leave my opinion out again" she demanded, she knew she asked him this before...but she needed to hear it more than once.

He looked away for a moment, remembering the multiple times he had done that to her. Breaking up with her and leaving Sunnydale, stalking her behind her back and rewriting time when he became human stuck out like sore thumbs. He met her gaze as he spoke, "I promise you will have a say in all the critical decisions, however, I can't promise I'll listen."

She glared at him, but before she could argue he continued, "You're right; I have made choices for you. As awful as it sounds, I don't regret them. I wish to god I didn't have to make them, but it had to be done."

"You left me. You said you didn't want to be with me, and you left." She cried, still feeling the sting of graduation day, or seeing him vanish into the smoke without even saying 'goodbye'. Seeing him in that sewer, telling her he didn't want to spend his life with her.

"I didn't. You said 'I want my life to be with you', I replied 'I don't'. As in, I don't want you to spend your life with me, with a vampire." He began, "The time for us wasn't right back in Sunnydale. It didn't matter how much I wanted to stay, I couldn't. We both know something would have happened between us. We would go too far, and I would hurt you more. Even if we kept ourselves in check, just being around you makes me so happy; how did I know that just holding you wouldn't have been enough to trigger my loophole."

She snuggled closer to him, needing to hear every word.

"Plus we both needed to grow, become the strong independent people we are now. Leaving you and staying away was the hardest thing I had ever done."

"I hated you for it then, but I know now you made the right decision. I couldn't have made it myself. It's just so unfair, the choices we're forced to make." She confessed.

"Our choices are never easy, not when they affect the world. You and I both know 'what we want' and 'what we have to do' are not always the same." He told her.

Her hand moved over to the spot her sword impaled him to Acathla all those years ago. There was no scar, no mark of any kind, nothing to signify her actions; she almost wished there had been.

"I know" she said back, tears flowing and voice cracking from emotion, "but I don't have to like it."

"No, you don't." he agreed, placing a kiss on top of her head. "Don't cry, Buffy."

"I killed you" she pouted, looking up at him.

He smiled and shook his head, "No Buffy, _you _didn't. The Slayer closed a gateway to a hell dimension…to save the world…because she had no other choice."

She shook her head, "It was still me, I still did that to you."

He looked into her eyes and smiled, "That fact you chose the world over sparing me, had never made me more proud." He said running his fingers along her cheek. "It lets me know, that no matter the circumstances, if the world is in jeopardy, you can and will do anything to save it. That's my girl, that's my Slayer, and it only makes me love you more."

She had tears sliding down her face; his words struck her to the core. She remembered a talk she had years ago with Riley, now he didn't know her at all.

"That's why I could never love anyone but you, you've always see me for who I am. You've seen me at my best, you've seen me at my worst and you never once looked away." She leaned down and her lips melted with his.

They let all the bad in the past slip away, leaving the road to their future clear and open.

...

Once they finally broke apart, she rested her head back onto his chest.

Now that their past mistakes were settled, it was time to face the current ones.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about the baby. It's just…We kept putting off the talk about kids, I didn't think you really wanted them...especially biological ones" She confessed a few quiet minutes later. "I put us both in danger by keeping it from you."

"Yeah, how did that happen anyways? I clearly remember the doctor telling me I was sterile." He commented.

She turned to look at him, "What exactly does that mean? Are you trying to ask if I cheated on you?" Her eyes narrowed to slits.

"No, that's not what I was saying. I know you didn't, wouldn't." He took a deep breath, just in case he buried himself. "This just wasn't something I was expecting to deal with. I got used to the idea we wouldn't have kids, that Connor was all I'd ever have. It's just a shock."

"And you think I wasn't shocked to hell went I took a test and it came back positive? I was terrified for over a week that something demonic happened. Some spell or curse or something." She admitted.

"How do you know it's not?" he asked cautiously.

She shrugged, "I just do. I can feel it, and all I feel is you."

He squeezed her a little tighter, "Yeah, I think I can too."

"If your healing heals everything else...why not that too?" she asked.

He thought a moment, "I guess it makes sense, I've felt my body changing ever since my heart started to beat. I suppose I could have regained my virility at any time."

"10 weeks ago actually." she offered.

He grinned, "Or that."

"Do you regret this?" she asked

He was silent in thought a moment, "I regret a lot of things in my life Buffy, having Connor isn't one of them."

She looked up at him but his eyes stayed off her, he continued, "I'm not thrilled about the circumstances of his birth, or the events involving Jasmine, but I don't regret _him_. He's my son; I can't help but love him."

She understood, before this pregnancy she might not have, but now, she realized she feels the same about the child inside her.

"Children are never easy, are they?" she whispered.

"No" he agreed, "But they are worth it."

He paused then continued, "At first, it's a terrible feeling, the worry, the unknowing, the mind numbing fear that there is a life completely dependent on you for everything."

She looked up at him, unsure what he meant.

He met her eyes, "But then you think of the future, you see yourself holding them when they are born, teaching them to walk, to talk, see them change and grow into the people they will become, you get to showing them the world."

She nodded and smiled realizing he was talking with a longing in his voice.

She remembered saying something similar to Dawn, of wanting to show her the world. She remembered the feeling, it was overpowering.

"Does that mean you're not mad?" She asked hopeful.

He looked back up at the ceiling, "Oh, no. I'm defiantly mad."

She frowned. _'He doesn't want this baby? He sounded so hopeful a second ago_.'

"I'm pissed Angelus knew before me, and that the gang knew before me and at myself for not realizing it sooner." He looked at her, "But I'm not mad at you Beloved" He said with a smile, "How can I be mad at the woman carrying my child?" He kissed her forehead, "I understand, you panicked, that's normal. Pregnancy hormones can reek havoc on your judgment." He said.

'_Did he just scold me?_' She looked up and asked, "So you want this baby?"

He looked at her feeling stupid for not explaining better, and pulled her even closer, "Yes. Of course I do. I've never wanted anything more."

She relaxed and let his lips meet hers in a gentle kiss. "Good, because I wasn't letting it go." She said defensively.

"I would never even consider asking you to." He replied.

"So, now what?" She asked him.

"Now we move forward. Start with some baby steps?" He answered.

"Baby steps?" she asked with a smile.

"Yeah, like making you some doctor appointments, picking a room for the nursery… start a college fund."

She laughed. "College fund? That's jumping the gun a bit don't you think?"

He shrugged, "I don't think so, I mean it only seemed like a few months and Connor was ready for college. They grow-up so fast these days."

She groaned.

After a minute she spoke, "I'm thinking the room across from us would be the best for a nursery, its closest, and is fairly big. Maybe paint it a gender neutral color like yellow, or green?"

He grinned, "Anything you want."

Her eyes lit up with mischief, "Anything I want huh?"

His grin vanished, "Should I regret saying that already?"

She smiled, "Nah, somehow I think you'll like what I'm thinking."

"And what would that be?" He asked.

She answered by kissing him.

His grin returned, "Mmm, Couldn't agree more."

...

A short time later, a gentle knock was heard on the door.

Angel quickly rolled out of bed and pulled his pants on and answered the door.

Willow was standing outside, ready to walk away thinking the room's occupants were still sleeping.

"Willow" he greeted her, he opened the door a bit wider and moved aside, indicating she should enter.

Buffy had ran into the bathroom to dress when she first heard the knock.

"Buffy's getting dressed, she'll be out in a second." He told the witch as he pulled on his undershirt then his button down shirt.

"I didn't mean to interrupt…uhh...anything." She said nervously, as she waited.

"You didn't." Angel reassured her.

The bathroom door opened and Buffy came out, "Hey Will, what's up?"

"Well the guys are getting antsy; they wanted to know how long we were staying."

Buffy smirked, "You drew the short straw huh?"

Willow shrugged, "They knew you guys were…talking."

Angel grinned but tried to hide it.

Buffy sent him a 'don't start' glare.

"We _were_ actually talking." She said, added silently, '_at first anyways._' "We're eager to get home too. Tell the guys we're ready when they are."

Willow nodded and headed out.

...

Buffy looked over at Angel, he seemed to be brooding in the corner.

'_Not that again._'

She walked over to him and stood behind him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he sat in the chair at the table.

"Not thrilled about the car ride home huh?"

He sighed heavily, "No, not really. How do I even start to apologize? I mean, the things that were said, the things that…were done…can you just knock me out for the trip?" He asked only half joking.

"I don't need to, Angel, you did nothing wrong. You are not him, he's a demon, and you're a man. You are not responsible for your demon. Angelus is a prick, I know that, you know that and they know that."

She kept one arm around his neck and placed the other against his cheek as she sat across his lap and continued, "When you torture yourself like this, you're only feeding him. I think that's why he does what he does, just to get at you. And you let him every time."

He sighed again, "I know. It's just…I can't stop him, I have no power over him, and it terrifies me."

She hugged him close, "But you do have power over him."

He looked at her questionably.

She smiled, "When you punish yourself for his actions, you're letting him win. So don't let him win. Stop brooding over him, and just worry about being Angel."

He nodded, "I'll try."

She kissed his cheek, "And if that's not enough, just remember we all like you better, that'll piss him off too."

He smirked, "Yeah, that probably will."

She stayed on his lap a minute, her lips helping to ease away some of his worries.

He broke the kiss so they could take in some much needed breaths, "I think they're waiting for us. We can finish this when we get home."

She smiled as she stood, "Mmm, defiantly."

...

Everyone packed up whatever stuff they had while Giles dropped the room keys off at the front desk.

The gang all climbed back into the van and headed home. The ride was somewhat awkward at first, but the tension seemed to naturally dissipate as the minutes rolled by along with the miles.

"So you guys think of any names yet?" Willow asked the couple.

Buffy looked up at Angel as she leaned against his shoulder, "Not yet, any suggestions?"

He looked down at her, "What about naming her after your mom?"

Buffy thought a moment, "I thought about it, but I think it would be kinda weird, I'd like Joyce as a middle name more."

He nodded, "My sister's name was Kathy."

Buffy made a face when she remembered her college roommate; she pictured each egg in the refrigerator labeled with the name, she shuttered.

Willow picked up on the shutter.

"Hmm…Catherine is good, but could we avoid the name Kathy, I have some mental trauma with that name. Maybe Kate, or Katie for short?"

He nodded, "I like it."

"Any boy name suggestions?" she asked anyone who wanted to share.

Angel grinned, "I don't think we need to worry about that."

Buffy looked up at him, "Why not, we don't know what it will be yet?"

He kissed her cheek but didn't answer.

She glared at him, "Are you trying to say you can tell?"

He grinned again, "I didn't say anything."

She crossed her arms over her chest, "Spoil sport" She muttered.

...

The hours past quickly, soon the van was pulling up in front of the Summer's residence.

When they all got out to say goodbye, Buffy was pulled aside by Willow for some quick best friend gossiping.

Angel shook hands with Oz and promised to pay him back for the damage to his van and the credit card.

Giles extended his hand to the living vampire, "I meant when I said I would like to apologize to you, you're a good man Angel, I should have told you that long ago. I will forever be grateful for the help you've provided Buffy in her slayer duties and as her partner. I'm sorry I was so harsh with you; I know you are not responsible for the demon's actions; I am just sorry it took me so long to come to terms with that."

Angel nodded his head, "Thank you Giles that means a lot to me. More than I thought it would. I know it will mean the world to Buffy knowing things between us are good."

Giles nodded and was about to head back into the van when Angel called him back.

He looked over at Angel, noticing the sudden nervousness. "Angel?" he asked.

Angel looked over towards Buffy and made sure she, or anyone else, wasn't listening. "Listen Giles, it's no secret Buffy thinks of you as her father. You love her more than her biological father ever did and I can't help but be a traditionalist."

Giles looked confused, "Yes, you're right, I do have a father's love for her. What are you getting at?"

Angel shifted nervously again then looked into Giles eyes, "I um…I been wanting to ask Buffy to marry me… and I was hoping to get her father's blessing first."

Giles was stunned, "Oh." He said, "I…umm…" He looked at Angel, he could see the need in his eyes, and he knew no one would ever love his Slayer more.

He smiled, "I cannot think of a better man for her, when she is with you, there is a light in her eyes that no one else can ignite. It would be an honor and a privilege to have you as a son-in-law. You have my blessing."

He watched the weight fall off Angel's shoulders and he took his hand and grasped it tight. Before either of them realized it, Angel grabbed him in a hug and whispered "Thank you" into the watcher's ear.

Angel quickly released him, red tinting his cheeks, "Sorry, I ahh…just really needed to hear that."

Giles smiled, "There is no need for an apology, just make her happy, and keep her safe."

Angel nodded, "I will. Oh and ahh...don't mention this to Buffy OK, I want it to be a surprise."

Giles nodded, "Your secret is safe with me."

Angel thanked him again and the watcher headed back to the van.

Giles quickly wiped a tear of fatherly pride from his eye. '_My, it seems like just yesterday she was in high school, determined to kill me with her stubbornness. Now she's to be married, and expecting a child! They do grow up so fast.'_

_"Perhaps I should consult the books again on Slayer pregnancies...'  
_

...

Xander leaned in and whispered to Oz, "Did Angel just hug Giles?"

Oz raised an eye brow, "You jealous?"

Xander made a face, "What! No! I just thought…it was weird. Kinda wigged me out."

Oz shrugged, "Angel's a cool dude."

Then he walked over to Willow and Buffy, leaving Xander standing alone.

Xander looked over at Angel, thought about saying something to him, but the bite in his arm and the bruise on his back reminded him exactly why he liked to keep his distance. He went back into the van to wait for the others.

...

Angel wandered over to the small group, smiling at Buffy as she laughed with Willow.

He pictured her in a white dress, wearing his ring, being his wife.

Willow hugged Buffy goodbye then quickly gave Angel a hug too.

While she hugged him she said, "Congratulations."

He smiled at her when she let go, "Thanks."

She grabbed Oz's hand and together they got into the van.

Buffy wrapped her arms around Angel's waist and he draped an arm over her shoulders as they waved and watched the van disappear. They turned and headed inside.

They had some things to talk about.

...

As soon as the door shut, they walked towards the kitchen, both finding they were starved.

Upon entering the kitchen they both wanted to be back in the dungeon. Things were less complicated there.

There was a mess on the counter. Pots and Pans, food and utensils spilled across the floor. Black smoke drifted lazily from the oven. The smoke alarm was in pieces on the floor. Spike was laying face down on the kitchen table, Faith wrapped beneath him, both locked in fiery passion.

"Oh. My. God. I'm blind, I've gone blind!" Buffy said in horror as she turned around and hid her face against Angel shirt.

Spike looked up, "Ah and here's the dynamic duo now."

Faith looked past Spike, "Hey guys, be with you in a sec."

Neither of the two bothered to stop, or even slow, their movements.

Angel backed out of the kitchen, equal parts fuming and wanting to vomit.

They didn't even want to think about why those two were in their kitchen, or why they were...nope, just not thinking about it.

"We need to burn that table." Buffy said as they walked upstairs to lock themselves in their bedroom.

"We do." Angel agreed.

Neither were hungry anymore.

...

Lol


	10. The Question

The Question – 2 weeks later - November 9, 2004

"I feel it again" she whispered as she nestled down against his chest.

"What's that?" he asked sleepily.

She smiled, "Just like I've always wanted to. Like a normal girl, falling asleep in the arms of her normal boyfriend."

His eyes opened a little wider as a thought occurred to him. '_Now. Now is perfect_.'

He moved his hand under his pillow and grabbed something hidden there.

He looked up at her, "I don't want to be your normal boyfriend anymore" he said.

Her heart froze and she looked down startled at him. "What?" she asked voice shaky.

He smiled at her, she felt cold.

He brought a small box into her line of sight, as he opened it he said, "I want to be your exceptional husband."

When she saw the ring relief flooded over her. He wasn't breaking up with her again; he was…'_OHMIGOD! He's proposing!?_' her mind screamed.

He gazed lovingly into her eyes, his broad smile making it hard for him to speak, "Buffy Anne Summers, will you marry me?"

She looked back at him frozen, she couldn't speak.

His smile faded after a few seconds of silence. "Is that a no?" he asked afraid.

"No" she whispered.

He looked down, devastated. "Oh" he whispered, lowering the box.

"No!" she yelped when he shut the box, "I mean Yes…Yes I'll marry you" she rushed realizing she hadn't answered him, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him with everything she had.

When they finally broke apart, Angel shook his head at her, "Way to nearly give me a heart attack." Referring to her 'lack of' then 'no' response when he asked her the most important question in his extremely long life.

"Sorry. I was…shocked I guess." she said and kissed him quickly, "I just...froze up for a second…now gimmy!" she snatched the box back from him, opened it and looked at the ring again.

He pulled the ring from the box and she extended her right hand so he could slide the silver Claddagh ring back where it belonged, pointing to her heart.

"It's just like the one you gave me before." she said staring longingly at it.

"It's the same one" he admitted.

She looked up at him confused. "What? How?" she stuttered. _'I left it in the mansion, I couldn't find it when I went back to look. I thought it was lost forever.'_ "

After I came back from… when I woke up in the mansion, they were in my hand."

"They?" she asked.

He took the box, removed the velvet lining, revealing his ring lying underneath.

She took it and he let her slide it back onto his right ring finger, heart pointing in.

"I didn't know what they were at first. I didn't even remember who I was. I threw them into the fireplace. It wasn't until weeks later I found them again. I knew we could never really be together, but I always hoped I'd get the chance to give it back to you someday."

She gazed at the ring on her finger, remembering the night he first gave it to her, the night he confessed his love for her, the night they first made love. The night he lost his soul.

He watched her face, saw it darken, "If it's too much, I can take it back. I can get you a real engagement ring, a diamond." He said, suddenly unsure giving her back that ring was such a great idea. Hell, the night he first gave it to her it cost him his soul, for all he knew, the thing could be cursed.

"No" she said quickly, "no this is perfect." She said leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. "I think the ring…I think it brought you back to me."

He looked at her, confused. "What? How?"

She shook her head, "I don't really know. I was planning on letting you go, to say goodbye to you, so I left the ring at…where the portal closed. When I brought you back from the woods, your outline was burned in that exact spot and the ring was missing."

He nodded, "I always wondered how it got into my hand."

She laid her head down against his warm chest, "Honestly, I don't even care how or why. I'm just grateful it happened."

He grinned, "Me too. Hell dimensions…not a the greatest places and I've seen quite a few."

"Ok fiancé, enough with the trip through morbid memory lane" She raised her head from his chest, "We have more important things to discuss."

He grinned, "Like what?" he asked.

She leaned down and kissed him.

"Hmm…I like this topic" he mumbled.

They 'discussed' for a good deal of the night.


	11. Baby Bump

November 12, 2004

Buffy casually grabbed a pair of her favorite jeans and slipped them on; as she went to button them she realized they were too tight.

"What? These jeans just fit last week." She moaned.

Suddenly she remembered why they don't fit.

'_Am I finally showing?_'

She pulled the jeans down a bit and stood sideways looking at the mirror; a tiny bulge was noticeable in her lower abdomen.

'_I HAVE A BABY BUMP!_' she thought excitedly.

"Angel!" She yelled as she jumped around with excitement.

"Buffy? Is something wrong?" he asked as he practically ran into the bedroom when he heard her yell his name.

She jumped into his arms and kissed his lips, he caught her, holding her up.

"Ahh...Buffy?" he asked unsure why he was suddenly getting such attention.

She smiled at him, "My pants don't fit!" she said giddily.

"Umm, I'm sorry?" He apologized, not getting what she meant.

She sighed at his terminal guyness. "I'm finally showing, I have a baby bump!" She clarified.

He smiled back, "Really?" he asked putting her down so she could show him.

She grabbed his hand and pressed it to her stomach, he grinned when he felt the slight bump. "You're right, that wasn't there before." He laughed.

Her smile suddenly vanished, "My pants don't fit." She whispered, morning the loss of her much loved pants. "I love those pants; I've slayed like a hundred vamps in them."

Angel noticed the mood swing, she didn't get them too often, but when she did, he was rapidly learning to be **very** careful of what he said to her. "That's a good thing" he quickly wrapped his arms around her waist, "It mean's our baby is growing."

She nodded, still not appeased.

"You'll wear then again, after the baby is born." He suggested.

She frown deepened, "What if I never get back to my pre-baby weight. I won't fit in any of my clothes!"

He grinned and thought of something that would defiantly turn her mood around, "This just mean now you get to go shopping for new clothes."

A smile slowly spread across her lips, "Shopping? New clothes?" she asked.

"Mmm, hmm. Anything you want." He whispered in her ear.

A full smile surfaced, "Anything?" she asked turning to face him.

"Anything" he agreed back, inside he was cringing about what those words were going to cost him, that wasn't a credit card bill he was going to like.

She hugged his neck tightly with excitement then turned to rummage through her closet and drawers; she needed to find something that still fit to wear to the mall.

As he watched her a smile crept along his face, '_The hell with the credit card bill, that smile is priceless._'


	12. The Bachelor Party

December 3, 2004 - The Bachelor Party

"I don't know, Buffy" Angel said uncomfortably, "The last bachelor party I went to started ok, but ended with demons trying to eat a good friend of mine's brain."

Buffy rolled her eyes, "Angel, first off, Eww, and second, there will be no demons. Well except yours…and Spike…technically Oz….Ok so a few, but no brain eating. I swear."

He still looked unconvinced.

"It's a tradition! You like those! The groom has to have a bachelor party, and the bride has to have a bachelorette party … that's just how it goes." she explained matter of factually.

"I know, they had them in my day too, it's just…Spike and Xander…we're not exactly…close." He tried.

She gave him 'the look' and he knew he was going to this event, whether he wanted to or not.

He figured he would try a different approach, "You know, maybe it will be good for me, spend some time with the guys, develop some bad male habits, get really drunk, dance with the stripper…hmm…maybe this will be fun"

She punched him in the arm, hard.

"Ow, hey you want me to go! I would be perfectly content to stay home with my pregnant fiancé, but no…I have to go hang with the guys, most of which I don't even like, drink vast amounts of alcohol and check out half naked woman dancing just inches from my face."

She glared at him, "Nice try. So you're going?" she asked, although they both knew it wasn't really a question.

He looked around for a second, for any desperate escape loop, but her eyes stayed firmly planted to his. His shoulders fell and he admitted defeat, "Yeah, I'll go."

She smiled and dragged his cheek down to kiss it. "Thank you! You'll have a blast; Oz is great at planning this kind of stuff. Oh and don't fight with Spike, I know you guys have the 'mortal enemies' thing going on but you can ignore that for one night. And don't bruise Xander, at least not anywhere the camera can see, I will have no black eyes in my wedding photos." She ordered.

He took a deep breath and nodded, "Alright, fine. Are you sure you wouldn't rather…"

She slapped a hand over his mouth before he could continue, "Go. Have fun. Or else. Besides, if you are out having fun, that means I can too."

As she finished she pushed him out the front door and slammed it before he could turn around.

'_She can have fun too? What does she mean by that?_'

He checked the knob and found it locked. Before he could knock, Oz's van pulled into the driveway and Giles called his name from the passenger seat.

Spike stuck his head out the window and called "Let's get a move on Peaches, the faster I can get pissed the better."

Angel shook his head and walked to the van, '_Funny, I was just thinking the same thing_.' He thought to himself.

...

"No Oz, this is great, really" Angel said uncomfortably. They were all at the local pub sitting at the bar, and none of them were having what would be called 'fun' yet.

"It's just, well the last bachelor party I went to started ok, but ended with demons trying to eat a good friend of mine's brain."

Oz arched an eyebrow, "Really? Huh, and I was just planning on a few beers and a stripper. But if you want I can work brain eating in somewhere."

Angel quickly raised his hands, "No, no please don't. Actually no stripper either, Buffy would flip."

"No? Huh, I heard Faith's got one for the Bachelorette party."

Angel's attention was successfully hooked, "What? What kind a stripper? A guy stripper? If another man even thinks about wiggling around in front of MY fiancé… No, no way. No how. Not happening!" He made as to get off the seat and make sure it wasn't going to happen.

Oz grabbed his arm and held him planted in the spot. "Dude, relax. It's just innocent fun."

Angel was still huffy on the idea but remained seated...for the moment.

Xander wandered up the bar and sat next to Oz, "Hey, isn't this supposed to be a party? You know, like with fun and such?"

Spike slid into the stool next to Angel, "Yeah Poof, shouldn't you be getting pissed right bout now? That's the idea of a stag party isn't it? And where's that bloody stripper at, I wanna see some right knockers!"

Angel rolled his eyes and took a deep swig of his Guinness. '_I might have to get drunk just to stand being near Spike for the next three seconds, never mind three hours._'

...

After a while things began to pick up, mostly because everyone had a few beers in them by then and they were finally loosening up.

Giles sat with his whiskey, Xander and Oz each had a drafts from the tap, Spike was guzzling down whatever he could get his hands on and Angel was half way through a bottle of Jameson.

"So Angel here grabs the wanker round the throat an…" Spike was saying until Angel grabbed him by the throat,

"So 'elp me William, ya finish dat tale, an' they'll be findin' ur pieces till da mornin'." Angel threatened with his old Irish brogue rolling out as he got drunker. "By da way, you'll be buyin' me an Buffy a new table."

...

A cheer and a whistle were heard as husky music began to play and a long leg poked out from behind the curtain on the small stage in the pub.

A beautiful young woman, wearing very little of anything, slowly danced out from behind the curtain.

She moved to the beat, shedding a few items, and spinning around a pole. Her long raven hair swung around her shoulders as the thin strip of material that passed as a skirt swirled with her hips.

Spike and Xander were practically drooling on the stage, Giles's eyes were quiet wide and Oz had a slight grin.

Angel was looking down at his glass of Jameson.

Slowly the stripper danced off stage and made a bee line for the guest of honor, who had yet to look up at her.

She swung an arm over his shoulder and spun him around on the stool. He almost jumped at the action, his eyes widened when he saw the extremely attractive woman. "Ah, hi" he said lamely and she gyrated in front of him. He couldn't help but notice how well endowed she was as her body, bounced, along with the beat of the music.

"Hello yourself" she said, looking him up and down with an approving glance. She leaned in close and whispered into his ear, "Might be willing to give _you_ a lap dance for free, hot stuff." She said as she winked at him.

He laughed nervously, and then held up his ring finger, letting her see the silver Claddagh on his right hand.

She smiled, "Right hand, not married yet" she whispered seductively.

"Sorry lass, I'm spok'en for." He slurred, picturing Buffy wearing the outfit the woman had on.

She frowned "Mmm, sexy accent and loyal too…Lucky girl she is." She danced away, heading over to Spike who was waving a few bills.

...

The hours passed Angel had finished his bottle and the guys were buying him shots.

Funny stories circulated, Angel too drunk now to stop Spike as he explained about a few of Angelus's most embarrassing moments.

'So Dru and me are gettin back from a hunt, and we sees The High an Mightly himself here fleein down the road like a scared babe. He ain't wearing a stitch, an Darla's commin at em with a broken broom. Never in all my all years have I heard such fowl language commin out such a dainty lil mouth.

"What was she yelling about?" Xander asked with a drunken grin.

"Never asked." Spike shrugged. Then thought to ask Angel now that he was too inebriated to lie.

"Hey Peaches, what'd you do to set her off?" he asked, slapping Angel's arm to make sure he was awake.

"Huh?" Angel asked. Spike repeated the story and the question, all little slower this time.

Angel grinned, in the way only those too removed for their senses can, "She ask'd me, does dis dress make me look fat?" He slurred.

"What do you reply?" Giles asked.

"I tells her, No, but ur arse does."

Spike laughed, "Oh you were an evil bastard weren't ya."

...

Angel practically fell into the seat between Spike and Xander, and slung his arms over both their shoulders, "Ya know, ya not so bad. 'ell, oi tink oi luv ya guys."

Oz looked worriedly at Giles, "I think it's time we cut him off."

Giles nodded, "Agreed."

..

Half an hour later, Spike and Giles had Angel slung between them, one of his arms over each of their shoulders.

"Alright Nancy-boy, time to sleep it off." Spike commented to Angel, who was mostly passed out at the moment, but occasionally he would mumble something in Gaelic.

Xander opened the front door to Angel and Buffy's house and the two walked Angel in and flopped him down onto the couch.

The girl's bachelorette party had ended an hour ago and Buffy and Willow were sitting in the kitchen talking when they heard the guys come in.

Buffy quickly stood and glanced into the living room, when she saw them practically carrying her fiance she panicked. "Oh God, what happened?" she asked as she hurried over to Angel, now lying on the couch.

She looked him over and was immediately hit with the strong wave of alcohol smell drifting off him.

"Right luv, so ya know that vampire constitution we're always goin on about?" Spike explained. "Well turns out, he ain't got it no more."

She sent him an unhappy glare, "You got him trashed? We're getting married tomorrow, noon!" She said angrily.

Giles stepped forward, "Buffy, we all bought him a few shots, we insisted, honestly we really had no idea he was getting…well that." Giles indicated towards Angel who had partly woken up and was mumbling an old Irish drinking song in Gaelic.

"He's talking in tongues" Buffy commented.

Giles shook his head, "Gaelic actually, horribly slurred, some sort of vulgar drinking song I believe."

She sent them all a disapproving glare then pointed to the door. She would deal with them tomorrow, but right now her attention was on her husband-to-be.

The four quickly shuffled out, all of them knowing hurricane Buffy would be blowing strong tomorrow.

"I'll make sure Oz and Xander get a tongue lashing." Willow said from behind her.

Buffy turned; she had nearly forgotten she was here. She smiled at her friend, "Thanks, I appreciate it."

Willow nodded and hugged her, "You need any help with him?" she asked noticing Angel's condition.

"Nah, I can handle him. Don't let the baby bump fool you, I'm still a Slayer remember." She said with a smile.

Willow nodded, "OK, well goodnight Buffy. I hope you had a great time tonight. And ahh…have fun…with him." The redhead said as she headed for the door, "Call me if you need anything."

Buffy sent her a smile, "Thanks Willow, I did and I will."

Buffy sat on the couch next to Angel; he seemed oblivious to her presents.

"Angel?" she called and ran her thumb along his cheek.

He turned to her and smiled. "A chuisle mo chroí! (O pulse of my heart!) An aingayle (angel) 'as fallen, behauld 'er sittin' by me. Such a bonny lass she be." He said in drunken slurred Gaelic, but she had no idea what he said.

"Umm, right. Can we switch back to English now maybe?"

"Stupid Sasanach, we not want dem in our Eirinn!" He mumbled, still in Gaelic.

"Oh boy, less than a day till the wedding and they get you wasted..." she grumbled as she sat him up, "Come on, let's get you to bed." She said as she slung am arm over her shoulder and pulled him to his feet.

"Now that's waaat me wants ter 'ear, nathin' loike curlin' up ter a lass ter keep a paddy feelin' youthful." He said.

She looked at him, wishing she knew Gaelic. _'On the other hand, maybe I don't want to know what he's saying...'_

It took a few tries to get him up the stairs; his legs weren't quiet getting the concept.

...

She finally helped him into the bedroom and sat him on the edge of the bed so she could strip him down to his boxers.

When she leaned in to unbutton his shirt he leaned forward and caught her lips in a hungry kiss. His arms wrapped around her waist and he pulled her against him.

The taste of the whiskey on his tongue made her pull away.

"No, not tonight" She whispered to him as he switched to kissing her neck, "You're drunk…it wouldn't be right." Her words said one thing, but the way he was kissing her neck made her body want the opposite.

"Only a wee bit trollied," He answered back, this time in English but still with a heavy slur and accent.

She leaned in closer, and then yelped in surprise as he fell backwards onto the bed, dragging her with him.

When they landed, their lips met again, hungrily attacking on another. She expected him to pass out at any moment, it always happened in the movies that way.

Instead he rolled on top of her and pulled them both higher onto the bed, even drunk he was careful of her growing belly.

His lips broke from her lips and began to travel down her body, igniting a trail of fiery passion as he went.

'_Where did my shirt go?"_ she wondered.

When he got to her little baby bump he took a few minutes to kiss around the area. "An' 'ow is de wee lass? Ya best be behavin' for ya ma an' da."

Buffy giggled as he spoke to their unborn child, even in English it was hard to understand him between the accent and the slurring. She leaned down and grabbed him, drawing him back up to her lips. "Talk more, it's funny." She said to him.

He cast her a false hurt expression, "Funny? Me Oirish brogue is nathin' but a joke ter ya? Yer are an evil lass. Mayhaps yer shud be punished?"

She giggled again, "And you're the one to punish me?"

"Aye" He suddenly stopped kissing her and rolled off, laying on his pillow and pretending to fall asleep.

"No!" Buffy cried, then laid down in front of him and gave him her 'puppy dog' stare.

He opened one eye and grinned. "Are ya beggin' me love?" he asked.

She leaned in, "No, but I will asked nicely. Please?"

He laughed, "Never cud say naw ter ya." He finished by resuming their kiss.

...

Buffy was floating; numerous orgasms in a row will do that to a girl.

She smiled and rolled over, snuggling onto the fiancés chest. "Wow." She said, still trying to get her heart rate back to normal. "That was…amazing. And here I thought you being drunk would make…that…impossible."

He grinned, "That was nothing Buff, I can do much better."

Buffy went still at the nickname, Angel NEVER called her that. She lifted her head and looked into his face. His dark brown eyes stared back at her, but they were cold and calculating, there was no warmth.

"Oh god" She whispered as she rolled off him and backed away, clutching the sheet over her exposed body. "What…How…I…You can't be here." She reasoned.

He sat up and sent her a wicked smile, "Can't, but am. Funny how that works huh?"

She shook her head, "Your face, you didn't change?"

He grinned, "Makes it easier to pretend I'm him, don't you think?"

She screamed at him, "Get out! Get the Hell out of my bed you bastard!"

Angelus laughed, "But you wanted me in it a few minutes ago."

She glared hatefully at him, "I _never_ wanted _you_! You're not _him_, you don't _get_ to have me!"

As he stood he sent her a wink, "Just did Lover."

She threw his pants at him, they would have hit him in the face had he not caught them. "Well that was rude."

She screamed again, "GET OUT!"

He shrugged and headed for the door, "Nighty, night, Slutty."

Buffy stood staring at the closed door for a second, her mind trying to understand what the hell just happened.

'_I slept with Angelus…oh god…I cheated on Angel. He's going to hate me now. Oh God! I feel…violated_.' She grabbed her pillow and hugged it tight, tears soaking into the fabric. '_I cheated on him the night before our wedding. He's going to call it off now. He's going to hate me._' She eventually cried herself to sleep that night.

* * *

6am

In the morning she awoke and stretched. The horrible nightmare she had last night nearly forgotten, until she got up and found Angel's shirt on the floor by the edge of the bed.

Fear struck her, '_No! No that couldn't have really happened._'

She tiptoed to the door and quietly opened it, crept to the stairs and looked over the railing into the living room below, there she spotted Angel curled up on the couch, sound asleep still.

_'Oh god, it did...he'll never forgive me.'_

Buffy descended the stairs soundlessly; she wasn't ready to face Angel yet, so she didn't want to wake him.

She entered the kitchen and began to fill the coffee pot; she really needed a cup this morning, so the baby would just have to deal with that.

She opened the fridge and glanced inside, the thoughts from the previous night made her stomach turn, but she needed to eat for the life growing inside.

The fridge door shut and she sat at the table, a fresh cup of black coffee in one hand, and a strawberry yogurt in the other.

A creak in the floorboard behind her caused her to turn quickly; Angel shuffled in, his head down, eyes mostly shut. He practically fell into the chair across from her, his head in his hands. "Uhh, now I remember why I quite drinking." He groaned into the table.

She slid her coffee cup in front of him in sympathy then stuck the spoon into her yogurt. She would have offered him the yogurt too, but Angel hated the stuff, it was just about the only food he wouldn't touch.

His head tilted up a bit and his red half opened eye focused on the coffee. It took two tries, but he finally succeeded in grabbing the cup.

...

Ten minutes passed in silence, he nursed his coffee, she ate the yogurt, and neither said anything.

'_He must not remember yet, when he does, he going to be pissed. He's going to tell me to leave…or he's going to leave. But what if he doesn't remember? Can I actually tell him? Would it be better if I didn't? What am I going to do?_' she thought, sending a worried glance toward him every few seconds.

After another minute he slowly rose unsteadily to his feet and walked out of the kitchen with a word.

She turned to him and followed, "Where are you going?" she panicked, wildly thinking he was leaving her.

However in actuality, he was currently oblivious to everything except the skull cracking pounding in his head; but she didn't realize that.

"Bed" he mumbled as he ascended the staircase.

'_Oh, he's pissed at me isn't he?_' She slowly followed, keeping a respectable distance from him.

When he got upstairs he walked straight into their bedroom and crawled face down under the sheets, and then pulled his pillow over his head.

After a minute she realized he wasn't mad, he was just in pain, and not the emotional turmoil of his alter ego sleeping with his wife-to-be; just simple physical hangover headache pain.

Feeling sorry for him, she went into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. A minute later she was sitting on the bed, and pulling the pillow off so he wouldn't suffocate.

She rubbed his back, "I know it hurts, but I have something that will help, sit up for a second." He grumbled something incoherent but complied.

She fed him a few aspirin then held up a glass of water to his lips.

After he swallowed them he laid back down.

She was about to leave when he whispered, "Stay?"

She was torn a moment, but the way he's asked she couldn't refuse. She sat back down and he rested his head on her thigh and wrapped his arm around her legs, within seconds he was asleep.

Buffy leaned back against the headboard and ran a hand through his hair as he slept.

She glanced down at the ring on her finger, knowing she had violated all that it stood for.

A single tear ran down her cheek, _'I have to tell him._' She looked down at him, vowing to talk to him when he woke.

* * *

8:15am

Ringing.

Buffy felt Angel roll off her lap and then a grunt and clicking sound as he picked the cordless phone up off the base and brought it to his ear.

"Hello" he mumbled in a sleepy voice.

Buffy fully awoke and looked over at him, noticing the tiredness dissolve as it was replaced by concern and panic. "When? Where?" he asked, voice sharp.

She couldn't hear the response but his reaction didn't bode well.

"Ten minutes" he said then hung up.

Angel was digging though his draws for clothes when Buffy interrupted.

"Who was that? What's going on?" she asked, voice full of concern.

"Demon, the girls are busy with some Hellmouth activity. I'll be right back." He said tugging on pants and a shirt.

"Isn't there anyone else?" she asked, hoping he would see reason, they were scheduled to be wed in under 4 hours!

"An hour, I'll be back in an hour, two tops." He said heading for the stairs.

Buffy followed not happy about it but knowing she couldn't and wouldn't talk him out of helping keep the world safe.

"Angel…" she said as he pulled some weapons out of the weapons cabinet.

He turned and saw her strained expression, there was something more than him going to kill a demon on their wedding day that was bothering her. He dropped the weapons and went to her.

"Buffy? What is it? Are you alright?" he asked, placing a hand over the slight bump that indicated their growing child.

"No…I mean yeah, the baby's fine. It's just…I umm…we need to talk…like really talk…before the wedding." She said to him.

He took a deep breath, "Is it about last night?" he ventured.

Her eyes widening answered for her.

He shook his head, "God, Buffy I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get that drunk…"

He was cut off, "That isn't it." She said quietly, almost afraid to continue.

"Then what?" he asked.

She shifted, realizing now would be a great time for the phone to ring and rescue her from having to tell her husband-to-be she cheated on him.

Nothing interrupted. '_Never when you need it, always when you don't.'_

"It's…Angelus." She whispered, almost too low for him to hear.

His brow furrowed, "What about Angelus?" he asked, not happy to be speaking about his demonic-ego.

She shifted again, looking down at the floor to avoid the accusing look in his eyes. "He…he umm…" she mumbled.

"Did something happen with him last night? I don't see how since I wasn't near death…"

She spoke up, "I think it happened because you were really drunk, lowered your inhibition or something…Angel, his face didn't change" she told him.

He took a moment to digest that. "What happened? What did he do to you?" he asked, voice stiff with anger at his evil side.

She looked up and met his eyes, tears twinkling in hers, "We…I…I thought he was you." She said apologetically.

Understanding hit him, "You slept with him." He said quietly.

Tears streamed down her face, "I'm sorry Angel, Oh god am I sorry. I didn't know…he was talking funny and I just thought it was you being drunk…"

They were both silent a moment, both deep in their own thoughts.

Angel spoke first, "Wait, you said he was talking funny? Like slurred?"

She nodded. "Drunken slurred Gaelic is was Giles called it."

He contemplated that a moment, "And after…nightly activates…he didn't have the slur?" he asked.

She thought a moment then shook her head, "No, he seemed sober."

He nodded, "Did you sleep with him after that? When he was sober?" he asked cautiously.

"No! God No! I kicked him out the second I realized it wasn't you!"

Angel visibly relaxed, "Oh thank god" he sighed out.

"What?" she asked confused.

He pulled her into a tight hug, "Buffy that _was_ me you slept with, you didn't cheat on me." He said into her ear.

Relief flooded her, "Really? Are you sure?" she asked not wanting to get her hopes up.

He nodded, "Most of the night is blurry, but I do remember making love to you."

She looked at him, "It was you?" she asked, needing to hear it again.

He nodded and kissed the top of her head, "It was me."

She hugged him tight, letting her horror and worried go.

"What…what about Angelus?" she asked after a moment, "It was him, I know it was."

He inhaled and let his breath out slowly, "I honestly have no idea, no memory of it. I must have passed out afterwards, I guess he somehow took control. Buffy nothing he said is true, whatever he said…"

She cut him off, "I know. He made me think I slept with him and not you…that's all."

Angel grinned, "At least I know why I woke up on the couch."

She let herself smile too, "Sorry."

He nodded, "Not your fault, I'm glad you did."

He sobered a few seconds later, "When I apologized earlier, I was going to say because I remember you telling me 'No, not tonight.' I thought maybe you felt I forced myself on you."

She pulled back and shook her head, "No, no you didn't force anything. Yeah I said no…but I really didn't want you to stop." She admitted.

He nodded, "Good. I didn't want to ever hurt you…especially not like that."

She shook her head, "Umm, Slayer? I can kick your ass remember?"

He laughed, "Ok, point taken."

"Actually…drunken sex is pretty amazing." She finished with a mischievous grin.

He joined her, "It is isn't it?"

They kissed, letting their fears drain away; knowing whatever happened with Angelus wouldn't tear them apart.

..

Angel's cell began to ring.

'_Oh NOW the phone rings…not when I really needed it to…typical._' Buffy thought as Angel's lips parted from hers so he could answer the phone.

She frowned when he spoke to the voice on the other end, "Yeah, Ok. I'm leaving now."

He hung up and shot her an apologetic glare. "I have to go."

She nodded, "I know."

They kissed again, this time sweet and chaste.

"I love you." He whispered.

She repeated it back to him.

He looked at her a moment, like he was etching her face into his memory, then grabbed a sword and ran out the back door.

...

To be Continued in 'The Wedding'

(If the 'Irish' accent is too hard to read I can change it, or offer it in normal English below?)


	13. The Wedding, Part 1

December 4, 2004 - The Wedding

11:15am

Angel punched the last demon as hard as he could. "So help me, if you make me late for my wedding…"

The demon recovered quickly and charged again, Angel knew he didn't have time for this; he whipped the sword around and beheaded the demon.

"Of all the days…they chose my wedding day to try and destroy the world." He grumbled irritated as he cleaned the blood off his sword onto the dead demon's scaly hide.

There had been far more demon's than the Slayer's Council had told him about, and he'd had to find them first. It had took far more time that he expected it to.

He glanced down at his watch. "Crap, so much for an hour or two tops..." He said as he ran for home.

...

Neither Buffy or Angel were huge church fans, they decided to have the wedding at their house, the backyard was rather big so they had it landscaped for the occasion. Cleveland, Ohio was cold in early December, far colder than Southern California ever got, so they had a large, heated, clear tent set up to house the ceremony and reception so no one would freeze.

They were lucky to have no snow yet that season, the temperatures had 'warmly' stayed roughly near the fifties the past few days, including today.

It was going to be a small service, really only the Scooby gang and a few close friends and neighbors were invited. Only about 15 people total, including the wedding party.

Red roses were everywhere, laced with lavender, a lucky Irish tradition, a small gazebo stood in the upper center of the tent where the minister would marry them.

Dawn was Buffy's maid of honor and Willow her bridesmaid.

Angel had asked Connor to be his best man and Oz to be his groomsman. Both had agreed happily to the request.

Buffy had thought of asking Xander to be his groomsman, but knew Angel wouldn't have gone for that, neither would have Xander.

She had hoped the tension between Angel and Xander would have been resolved by now, but Xander was still having trust issues.

Hope was lost that they would ever be friends, but at least Xander had stopped making verbal attacks at Angel's expense. '_Usually_'

She had almost suggested Spike be Angel's groomsman, since he was technically Angel's only other family, but she knew that would have turned into a fight.

Fortunately Connor had come back from college for winter break and had been the obvious choice for the position.

The blond vampire was invited to the wedding, despite his and Faith's indiscretions on a particular kitchen table.

It turned out they had come separately to the house at different times, Faith had been looking for a certain crossbow she'd lent Buffy and Spike was planning to raid the liquor cabinet.

They had worked together with the new slayers in training over at the Slayer's council in England, but had never had any alone time. Faith decided to try and cook something for dinner, but it hadn't gone well. Spike tried to silence the horrid beeping from the smoke alarm, but that hadn't gone well either.

...

_"Not much for domestics are ya, pet?" Spike asked, a gleam of mirth in his eyes._

_Faith whipped around, "Think you can do better blood bag?"_

_He lost his grin and moved in closer, "Yeah Slayerella, actually I do. "_

_She swung the first punch, knocking him against the counter, spilling the dish rack onto the floor._

_"Come on then white meat, I'm standing right here." she taunted._

_Spike growled and charged._

_Somewhere between the punches and kicks, it turned into thrusts and kisses._

_'That's when Angel and I came home...We're still trying to forget that image.'_

...

Spike had respectfully declined attending the wedding, Buffy didn't blame him.

He and Angel never really got along, and her temporary 'relationship' with him certainly hadn't been forgotten by Angel.

The other major drawback was the service was being held outside, during the day, in the bright 12 noon sun. Not a healthy place for Spike to be. He assured her he would come to the reception sometime after dark.

Buffy had asked Giles to walk her down the isle; the watcher practically glowed as he accepted the honor.

She had been shocked to find out Angel had asked Giles permission to marry her, she understood how important tradition was to him and couldn't have been happier with the result.

She remembered Angel and her had asked Giles to be their baby's grandfather.

"Neither of us has parents anymore. I couldn't think of a better man for the job." She had said, Giles has replied "I would be honored and a privilege to hold the title of grandfather to your child."

_'He's so British, it's almost cute sometimes.' _

* * *

11:25am

Buffy stood looking at herself in the mirror, a happy tear formed in her eye.

She quickly willed the tears away; she didn't want her mascara to run.

"Buffy, you look amazing." Willow said as she adjusted her veil.

"You think?" she asked, absently patting her slight baby belly.

"Absolutely, Angel going to just die…" She caught Buffy's glare, "Ahh, I mean he'll…be mesmerized, oblivious to everything but you, complete tunnel vision. I bet he even forgets to say his lines."

Buffy frowned, "Where is he? He should've been back by now."

Willow frowned, Oz had told her he hadn't shown up yet but decided to keep the news low profile info, but they forgot Buffy could feel him when he was close, or in this case, not feel him.

"Don't worry; I'm sure he's on his way. You know he wouldn't miss this for the world." She tried to reassure her best friend, but deep down Willow was wondering if he had pulled a Xander and bailed.

...

Angel was nearly home when the ground began to shake, "Son of a…" He started but lost the rest as he fell over.

"This ALWAYS happens, we have plans, and the world just has to go and try ending!" He ranted as he got to his feet when the ground settled.

He reached home and desperately wanted to put on his tux and just forget about the world long enough to marry the woman he loved, instead he grabbed a few items from the weapons chest and ran back outside to the car.

"I'm sorry Buffy; I swear I'll make this up to you." He said out loud as he started the car and spend off towards the Hellmouth.

* * *

11:30am

Buffy had felt him, she knew he had been home, and she also knew he was now gone.

Willow's beeper suddenly began to scream, along with Giles's and Faith's.

"Every time." Buffy mumbled as she saw the Id # displayed on the devise, Slayer's Council.

"Hey, I didn't get a beep, why didn't I get a beep? Am I not beep worthy?" She mumbled sadly.

"You're on maternity leave." Willow answered back.

"Undress me." She said to Willow, "We have a world to save, and I am NOT getting blood on this dress."

Willow sent her a look, "Ahh Buffy, you can't seriously be thinking of fighting demons while 4 months pregnant."

"Will, I can't just sit here while you guys risk life and limb, I'm a Slayer, I need to do something! Give me a crossbow; I can cover you guys at least." Buffy begged.

Giles walked into the room and immediately saw the determined look in his Slayer's eyes.

"I'm going, Angel is already heading there."

Giles looked at her a second, "How do you know that?"

She took off the veil while Willow helped with the buttons on the back of the dress, "I felt him come home, only for a minute, probably raided the weapons chest and got the car. He's going to pay big time when I catch up to him." she promised.

No one bothered to clean up the fallen items when the earthquake hit.

They all knew what to do when an apocalypse rolled around; this wasn't the first for anyone present. Those that had something to change into did, a few borrowed from Buffy and Angel's closets.

No one wanted to face an apocalypse wearing their 'Sunday best', plus if it looks great, it probably sucks to fight in it.

"Dawn" Buffy called.

"I'm not staying here alone while you all go fight!" the teen immediately responded, knowing her sister was about to suggest just that.

Buffy gave her 'the look', "Dawn, I'm not asking because I don't think you can handle it, I know you can. But we need someone to stay here, be command central. All the books are here, we can't bring them all. We might need someone to research for us. Besides, wedding guests might show, you need to tell them something. Besides, you won't be alone, Connor will be with you."

Connor looked up from his sword, already pumped to kick ass. "What? No way! I'm going, that's my dad out there!"

"Connor I know your worried about Angel, but we don't know how many of those demons are still around. I need you to patrol the area, and keep Dawn and the wedding guests safe. We can't have _all_ our super beings in one van." she tried to lighten the mood.

He nodded stoically. "Bring him back." he added.

Buffy nodded, "Trust me, I'm lot losing him this far into the game."

She turned back to Dawn.

Her sister didn't look thrilled but nodded, "Fine. But don't get killed. I'm really looking forward to dancing in my dress."

Buffy smiled and hugged her sister, "Hey my dress is a lot more expensive than yours, besides, you think I'm going to let some lousy apocalypse ruin my wedding day? Fat chance. We'll be home before you know it."

Dawn laughed back, "Yeah evil should know by now not to mess with you or Angel, especially today."

"Yeah well, evil doesn't learn, they why we have to kick it's butt so often." Buffy said as she hugged her sister again.

"Be safe" Dawn called out as Buffy grabbed a crossbow and lead the group out the door.

* * *

11:50am

Twenty minutes after Angel sped off, the Scooby gang was racing towards the city, towards the Hellmouth.

"I guess the newbie's haven't graduated yet huh B?" Faith asked her blond sister Slayer sitting beside her as she checked the firing mechanisms on the crossbow she held.

"They do pretty good with the vamps and demons, but apocalypses still require seasoned Slayers."

Faith nodded, "Sounds good to me, been itching for a fight."

"I think they made a cream for that." Xander commented from beside Buffy.

Both Slayers ignored him and rolled their eyes.

"Hang on, might get bumpy." Oz said to the group in the back of the van.

A second later the van began to shake as they sped over the newly deformed road.

"Seems the earthquake did considerably more damage the closer we get to the Hellmouth." Giles commented as he researched from the passenger seat.

Willow sat crossed legged in the back with the rest of the gang, all of them flipping though a book or two to find any info on today's chaotic event.

"Got something" Willow spoke up after a few minutes, "Looks like today is Valcorth's awaking. Sound's like he's a major bad-ass from long ago."

"May I?" Giles asked and Willow passed the book up to him. As he read he nodded his head, "Yes, very good Willow, everyone look for a references to 'Secler's Key', or perhaps 'The Crown of Ashes'. They are essential for Valcorth's ritual."

Xander's watch beeped noon, Buffy sighed, _'I should have been kissing Angel right now, as his wife.'_

"Hey check this out." Faith said as she handed the book over to Willow. The redhead glanced over the page, nodding, "I can work with this."

...

Angel pulled his Plymouth convertible into the high school parking lot, the chaos around him in full swing.

He ran over a few stray demons and parked in the 'Student of the week' spot.

He wished he could leave the top down, but the balmy 47 degree December air made that luxury not very practical, especially if he wanted to be able to feel his fingers.

He reached into the back seat and grabbed his sword, he opened his door and ran towards the school, a second later he kicked open the double doors and ran inside.

'_What's with Hellmouths and high schools anyways?_'

...

Battle cries drew his attention, the newbie Slayers were holding their own but wouldn't have lasted much longer without help.

He swung his sword, beheading a demon, "Hey girls, heard you needed a hand."

The three looked up in relief, "Angel! Weren't you getting married today?" One asked as she ducked a swing from a vamp.

He heard his watch beep noon, '_Yeah actually_, _I should have been kissing Buffy right now, as her husband._'

"Yeah, well, you know how social plans go when you live near a Hellmouth." He said as he made short work of the vamps that surrounded him.

Suddenly the ground began to rumble again, '_Crap, now what?_'

"Sorry, gotta run, you guys good?"

They nodded, there were still a lot of demons, but he had helped clear them some space.

"Reinforcement will be here soon, just hold the line till then!"

With that he ran down the hall, slaying creatures as he went.

* * *

12:10pm

The van pulled into the school lot, Oz immediately saw Angel's car, easy since it was the only one in the lot, and pulled up next to it.

"Last stop, Hellmouth station" Oz said as he put the van and park and slipped out the driver's seat.

"Ok, everyone knows what to do?" Buffy asked, they nodded and each grabbed a weapon and ran inside.

Willow cast an invisibility spell over Buffy, so nothing but the Scoobies could see her, for ten minutes anyways.

The newbie Slayers cheered when the gang ran in, more demons had flooded the hall but immediately began to fall by the dozens as the Scoobies worked.

Buffy silently walked the outer edges of the fights, taking out demons and vamps with the crossbow.

Suddenly she felt Angel, he was close.

He wasn't the only thing she felt, '_That's one massively evil feeling_.'

She yelled, "Willow, Faith, Giles, we need get to the Hellmouth, like now!"

Xander and Oz stayed behind to help the girls while the rest ran off down the hall.

...

Buffy ran into the basement, a small group of acolytes stood circled around the Hellmouth, chanting and holding their hands out to the glowing uncovered seal.

'_Not good._'

She immediately noticed the rest of the acolytes where caught in a heated fight, Angel in the center doing his best to keep something from them.

Fear crawled into her heart as one robed warrior lashed out with a staff, since Angel's attention was on the guy holding a sword in front of him, the staff connected with the back of his head and he fell dazed to his knees.

The guy in front of him smiled and raised his sword, intending to behead him.

"ANGEL!" She screamed, as she did she raised the crossbow and fired.

The guy with the sword staggered as the bolt ripped into his chest then fell to the ground dead.

Her cry alerted the rest of the acolytes they were no longer alone, and she no longer invisible.

...

Faith, Willow and Giles burst in a minute behind Buffy, Faith running straight into the fray.

"Yeah! Now this is what I'm talking about!" She whirled into action, kicking and punching the robed goons surrounding Angel into oblivion.

Willow sent a bolt of power at the acolytes surrounding the seal, knocking off their concentration and ruining their chant.

"Strike! Ooh, I should invent a power blast bowling game." Willow said to Faith as she admired her handiwork.

"How about sending some of that mojo this way?" The dark haired Slayer suggested as she fought.

"Oh, right. Here goes nothing." Willow said as she sent a bolt into the ruckus.

...

Giles sprinted after Buffy, who had dropped down in front of Angel, holding him up as he fought for consciousness.

"Buffy?" Angel asked as he blinked the blood out of his eyes, his head still spinning from the latest blow.

She cupped his cheek in her hand, "What? You thought you could run off to an apocalypse on our wedding day and I'd just let it slide?" She said with a smile.

He sent her back a weak smile, "Should have known...better than that huh?" he panted through heavy breaths.

Giles reached them and noticed the crown clutched tightly in Angel's hand.

"Is that The Crown of Ashes?" he asked.

"Didn't really check the id tag…but they seemed pissed when I snatch it…figured if they wanted it…they probably shouldn't be allowed to keep it."

Giles nodded, "Yes, good thinking, they cannot complete the ritual without it. May I?" He held out his hand, Angel offered the object and Giles took it.

Giles and Buffy both noticed the deep bleeding punctures the sharp points of the crown left in his hand as he gripped it tightly during the fight.

Buffy ripped a piece of her sweater off and wrapped it around the wound.

"You ok?" she asked him as Giles stood and ran the Crown over to Willow.

Angel met her gaze, "I am now." He said softly while still waiting for his breathing and heartbeat to even back out.

She pulled him close and kissed his cheek.

...

Xander, Oz and the other Slayers ran into the chamber and helped Faith finish off the rest of the goons.

Willow placed the Crown on the ground and waved her hands over it, Giles said a chant from the book he held as Willow joined.

A moment later the crown began to glow, the glow got too bright to look at and they all shielded their eyes.

Instantly the light disappeared and when they looked back, the crown was nothing but a metal pool on the ground, melted beyond repair, the magic destroyed.

* * *

12:42

The basement chamber fell silent, the bad guys dead, the good guys not.

The glow around the Hellmouth seal slowly faded then went out entirely.

"So when do we cut the cake?" Xander asked aloud.

Everyone groaned.

...

Buffy helped Angel to his feet, as she did a quick visual inspection of him.

She noticed a large bloodstain under his coat; she pulled it aside to reveal a large gash running along his ribs.

"Angel?" she asked when she saw it.

"It's ok, not too deep…just bled a lot." He tried to reassure her.

She slung an arm over her shoulder and helped support him as they walked, leaving the chamber behind and headed back outside.

...

Angel was about to head for his car when Buffy pulled him towards the van, "Oh no you don't. You've got, 'about to pass out' face, no driving for you."

He sighed as Faith snatched his keys from his hand.

"Don't worry Big Guy, I'll take her home for ya, besides I like the feel of something big rumbling beneath me."

'_Too much information_.' he thought dryly.

Angel was about to argue but he realized in his current barely standing condition, he wasn't going to win a fight against one Slayer, let alone two.

Faith turned to the new Slayers, "Hey newbs, need a ride home?"

They eagerly piled into the convertible as Faith shot the Scoobies a wicked smile. "Don't throw the bouquet without me!" She yelled as she floored the vehicle into reverse, spun the car around, and shot from the parking lot.

Angel cringed at the loss of more rubber from his already abused tires.

He turned to Buffy, "She does have a license, right?"

Buffy looked at him a moment, "Uhh…Sure?"

He groaned, not from physical pain…well, not from his injuries anyways.

"You know, I have been meaning to talk to you about that car anyways, I mean it's not really baby friendly…"

He groaned again, this time it was from his injuries.

As they sat in the back of the van he rested his head in her lap, "On that note, I think I'm going to pass out now."

...

The forty minute ride back home was uneventful, Buffy sat with Angel sleeping in her lap, Willow and Xander talked quietly while Oz watched the road and Giles paged through a book.

The extra twenty minutes it took getting home versus getting to Cleveland was due entirely to Oz not literally flooring the gas petal.

He figured now that 'the world as they know it' wasn't in immediate jeopardy; he might as well give his tortured van a rest and drive at normal speeds for once.

* * *

1:05pm

When they got home, Dawn and Connor greeted them at the door with the first aid kit; they knew the drill by now.

Connor and Buffy led Angel upstairs to treat him while the others helped clean up the earthquake damages.

"Are you ok dad?" Connor asked as they entered the bedroom. Angel was walking, but not quiet in a straight line.

"Yeah, peachy." he answered distractedly.

Buffy pulled off Angel's coat but before he could sit on the bed she grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the bathroom, "Hey, I just washed those sheets and there is no way in Hell I'm going to let you stain them with blood...again." She shoved him into the bathroom and turned to face her son-of-the-heart, "I'll let you guys know if the wedding's still on or not. Let me see how bad he is first." Connor nodded, sent his dad one last look and headed downstairs to help with clean-up.

Buffy entered the bathroom and shut the door behind her; Angel was leaning against the sink while fiddling one handed with his shirt buttons.

"Let me." She said as she pushed his right hand away and began unbuttoning his shirt.

He hissed in pain as she pealed the fabric off, the dried blood sticking to the already healing wound.

"Don't be such a baby; you're fine; better than normal after a big fight anyways."

He glared at her for the baby remark, but did agree with her about the second part, "Yeah well it still stings."

She tossed the shirt and made him turn around so she could check for any other injuries, she found a few but they were already closed.

A short inspection found more than a few bruises, but nothing seemed broken. The lacerations were already closed.

"You said it yourself, I'm fine." He declared.

"So you don't need nurse Buffy to give you a sponge bath?" She questioned with a smirk.

He laughed, "Tempting, but no. I'll be out in a few minutes, then nurse Buffy can practice with the bandages."

"Practice?" She scoffed, "With Mr. Injury-Prone himself around I'm a certified expert by now."

"Hey, it's not my fault things are always trying to rip me into pieces me." He defended.

She looked deeply into his eyes and frowned, "You have a concussion." She stated.

Angel shifted a bit, "Yeah, well. Just a little one." He dismissed.

She shook her head, "Five minutes, you're not out by then, I'm coming in after you." She warned.

He nodded, "Agreed."

She gave him one last look-over then exited the bathroom to let him shower.

...

They both knew a confrontation was coming, and truthfully neither one of them was in the mood for it.

It was their wedding day, they would have been married an hour ago had the world not tried to go to hell on them.

...

Four and a half minutes later, a newly shower Angel limped out of the bathroom, wearing the sweatpants he left in the hamper that morning, and sat down on the edge on the bed.

The heat from the shower brought out the newly healing bruises, and the contrasting paleness of his skin.

She knew his demon was draining him so he could heal his wounds.

"How are you feeling?" She asked as she began to bandage his slashed ribs and left hand.

"Tired" he answered.

She could see the fatigue on his face.

"What time is it?" He asked, not wanting to turn around, and hurt his ribs, to look at the clock behind him.

"1:15" She answered.

He sighed, "Guess we missed the noonday sun we were planning to be married under."

A sad smile reached her lips, "Yeah, but it's ok. Maybe we can try again tomorrow?" She asked.

"No." he stated.

She looked up at him, startled. "No?"

'_What does he mean by no? He doesn't want to marry me now?_'

He looked at her, "No, not tomorrow. Today, just before sunset. The sky will be full of reds and pinks, it will be beautiful."

She dared a smile, "Today? Really?" she looked down at the bandage she was wrapping around his chest, "But you're hurt."

He smiled, "I'll heal before then, and even if I don't, have Connor and Oz hold me up."

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, "I don't want to wait anymore. Not even one more day. I want to be selfish, want you as my wife. Unless you really want to postpone…" He couldn't continue since Buffy's lips where clamped over his.

He may have looked pale and his face may have held the weight of fatigue, but his lips were fully functional. Any worry she may have been nursing about his health was quickly abolished by the passion in which he kissed her.

Her arms snaked around his neck and pulled him closer.

...

After a few minutes they pulled apart, "Was that a yes?" He asked.

She nodded as she ran a hand down his cheek, "Yes, that was defiantly a yes." She said kissing his cheek.

"Wait." She looked at the clock again, "Sunset is at 5pm, that's less than four hours! We can't get everything together in four hours!"

He grinned, "Sure we can. Everything should still be set up from before, and if it's not, we've got a lot of bodies downstairs, as long as the minister is here, nothing else really matters."

She frowned at that, "I want everything to be perfect, I only plan on getting married the once you know."

He ran a finger down her cheek, "As long as you're there, that's all the perfect I need."

She smiled, "You always know the right words to say."

He laughed, "I'll have to remind you of that the next time you want to beat me up for something I said."

She quickly rose from his lap, not actually remembering how she got into it, "Ok, if this is going to happen I need to go tell everyone and get ready, like right now. Take a nap, I'll see you in a few hours."

They shared a passionate last kiss as singles and she hurried out the door, her excitement rolling off her in waves.

'_I'll have plenty of time to yell at him for nearly getting himself killed after I marry him.'_

...

To Be Continued in The Wedding Part 2


	14. The Wedding, Part 2

December 4, 2004 - The Wedding Part 2

_..._

The Scoobies didn't have too much to do, everything was still set up from earlier, the food was still covered and the cake safely stored in the refrigerator.

The earthquake only knocked over a few plants, some folding chairs and a few glasses.

Xander and Oz made sure the tent was secure.

Giles and Faith made sure everything was set up for the reception.

Once the physical work was done, everyone rushed to get cleaned up and redressed.

...

Angel awoke when he heard Connor call his name.

"Dad? You awake?"

Angel groaned and sat up, "Yeah, what's up?" He asked rubbing sleep from his eyes.

Connor looked at him a moment, "Well unless you are planning to get married in sweatpants…"

Angel turned and glanced at the clock, 4:14pm.

"Oh, right, uhh…need to get dressed. Thanks Con."

Angel bolted out of bed and opened his closet to get the garment bag, containing his tux, hanging on the hook.

He then rushed into the bathroom to dress while Connor shock his head laughing, he got his dad's shoes and began to shine them.

...

Angel stepped out the bathroom and glance in the mirror. His hair was a mess, bedhead.

_'That's what I get for taking a nap with wet hair...'_

He didn't really care that much, but Buffy would have an aneurism if he showed up for pictures like this.

Connor stepped up beside him, "Nice dad, going for the fresh from the honeymoon look?"

Angel sent him a glare, "Don't make me ground you."

The young man laughed at the idea and grabbed some hair gel from the bathroom and made his father sit so he could work it in.

"Gel? Really? I don't know if that's such a great idea." Angel said, concerned about how it would look.

"Trust me" his boy insisted.

"If Buffy goes into Slay mode, I'm using you as a shield." Angel joked.

...

A few minutes later Angel and Connor descended the stairs, heading out to the tent to socialize and get ready for the ceremony.

As soon as he entered the tent, Angel's heart began to race. '_Just a few more minutes, and I'll be marrying Buffy_.'

He frowned. '_Oh god, I hope I don't faint. Oh shit, even worse…what the hell were my lines? Crap, I'm so going to screw this up._'

He looked around nervously; Oz sent him a reassuring thumbs up.

...

Angel felt a sudden slap against his back that forcing a good deal of the breath from his lungs.

"Hey Angel! Relax, you look like your about to pass out." Faith said as she faced him.

'_Could be because you slapped the breath out of me._' He thought annoyed. "No, I'm good. Just a little nervous I guess." he lied.

She nodded, "Well if you do decide to collapse, don't do it on me. Last thing I need is B thinking I'm stealing her man…again. Chick has some serious jealousy issues sometimes, ya know?"

"Ahh, yeah. Sometimes." He answered back uncomfortably, but also knowing Buffy did have a tendency to give the 'evil eye' to any beautiful woman that spoke to him.

Granted it wasn't unheard of for him to get jealous of handsome men in Buffy's life either.

Angel glanced over across the room and found a familiar green face.

"Excuse me." He said to her and quickly made his way over to his friend.

"Lorne, glad you made it!" Angel said as he held out his hand to shake.

"Angel-cakes!" The green skinned demon cheered as he bypassed the offered hand and grabbed Angel in a bear hug.

"Of course I made it, like I would miss _your _wedding! How is the 'frosting to your cake' anyways? Heard you two have a little cinnamon bun in the oven."

Angel sighed, "For the last time Lorne, please don't refer to me, or my family, as pastries."

Lorne just smiled, "Of course, I need to start watching my calories intake anyway." He said pulling on the tight lip of his pants. "Oh, by-the-way, we'll be talking later about the DJ choice, Angel-eyes." Lorne warned then walked off to take a seat.

...

Everyone began to take their places, the ceremony was going to begin at 4:45pm, so it would end right as the sun was setting and the most brilliant colors would be blazing in the sky.

The clock ticked to 4:45pm and the DJ pressed play on the wedding music.

Angel took his place at the front of the gazebo and tried to calm his erratic heartbeat.

_'I've never been more nervous in my life! And I've had a long life...and a lot to be nervous about._'

The wedding party slowly began to file down the isle, Willow and Oz walked arm and arm between the few chairs of guests.

Willow's dazzling shamrock green dress flowed along as she walked.

Buffy chose her bridesmaids to have full skirt, off the shoulder dresses with a draped neckline.

'_This dress is so amazing, so much better than that horrid thing Anya had made me wear.'_ She thought as she glanced over at Xander, suddenly sad she thought what she did, since Anya was no long among the living.

A second later Willow broke from Oz and stood on the opposite side as Oz took his place a few steps behind Angel. The groom gave them both a quick smile and a nod before he looked up to watch Dawn and Connor make their way to the front.

Dawn looked equally fabulous in her dress, almost identical to Willows, but with an added matching sash around the waist to signify 'maid of honor'.

As she past him, Dawn laid a quick kiss on Angel's cheek before she took her place next to Willow.

Connor patted Angel arm as he stood next to him, "Hey dad, remember you need to breathe."

Angel nodded and took a deep breath. "Yeah, thanks."

Angel's attention shifted to the back of the tent as the wedding march music began, those in the audience stood and got ready for the bride.

...

Buffy was shaking, '_Oh, god, I'm so nervous_.' "

What if I trip?" she said panicked to Giles.

'_Why did I think high heels and pregnant were mixable?_'

He turned to her, "Relax Buffy, you won't. Just look at Angel and I'm sure everything else will just fade away."

She grimaced, "Yeah, thus major trippage."

'_Oh, I am so going to screw this up.'_

"I'll be standing right here." Her watcher said while linking her arm with his, "Guiding you as always."

She turned her gaze up to him and smiled, drawing strength from him.

"Just because I'm giving you away in marriage, doesn't mean I'll be giving you away in my heart."

She leaned against him for a moment, breathing in and out as he taught her years ago to focus herself. After a moment she tightened her grip on his arms and walked forwards, "I'm ready, let go make me a wife."

...

A gasp went thought the wedding party and guests as Buffy emerged from the doorway and into the improve isle.

No one had ever seen her look more beautiful; her dress almost glowed in the fading sunlight, her make-up was natural, highlighting her featured perfectly, and her honey blond hair was pulled up high on her head, tendrils of curls framed her face, which was lit with a smile that could make the sun look dull by comparison.

Angel felt his knees weaken.

He took a deep, much needed, breath to chase away the white haze that threatened to consume his consciousness.

'_Wow, she looks like a…a Goddess. I'm marrying a Sun Goddess_.'

He forced himself to stand straight; he wasn't going to let him passing out at the sheer sight of her ruin their second attempt to marry today.

...

She smiled as she entered the room, her eyes drawn to his like a moth to a flame. The nervousness she felt just moments before faded away.

Giles had been right, all she saw was Angel standing at the gazebo alter, his gaze glued to hers.

As she walked towards him she noticed him visibly pale. She worried he was going to faint, but he seemed to pull himself together after a moment.

...

Giles stopped right at the first row of seats, noticing both of them too focused on one other to remember how this was supposed to go, he gently took Angel's hand in his left and Buffy's hand in his right.

They both broke eyes contact to look at him, a little embarrassed they were zoning out already.

The Watcher took Buffy's hand from his own and put it into Angel's right, officially handing her off to her soon-to-be-husband.

"As you know, Buffy means the world to me; I take it you will take good care of her, yes?" Giles asked Angel, worded closer to a command than a question.

Angel squeezed Buffy's hand, "I will." He said to the watcher.

A second later Giles shook Angel's free hand, lifted Buffy's veil back and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, and then took his seat in the audience.

...

Angel and Buffy walked the few steps to the alter, she smiled at her friends as she passed, handing Dawn her bouquet as she went.

Together, hand in hand, the couple stood in front of the priest and the ceremony began.

...

The minister stepped forward and addressed the witnesses.

"Friends, Angel and Buffy have invited us here today to share in the celebration of their marriage. We come together not to mark the start of a relationship, but to recognize a bond that already exists. Love is the eternal force of life. Love is the force that allows us to face fear and uncertainty with courage. This marriage is but one expression of the many varieties of love."

He turned to the couple standing in front of him.

"Angel and Buffy, in the days ahead of you, there will be times of difficulty and conflict. When you find yourselves in these situations, I ask you to reflect on this marriage advice:  
**_  
_**Let your love be stronger than your anger.  
Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend than to break.  
Look for the best in your beloved rather than the worst.  
Confide in your partner and ask for help when you need it.  
Remember that true friendship is the basis for any lasting relationship.  
Give your spouse the same courtesies and kindnesses you bestow on your friends.  
Say "I love you" every day."

The misister looked to all present, "The couple has asked me to read, from **_Sonnets from the Portuguese_**, by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Number 43.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old grief's, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death."

...

He put down the book and turned to the audience.

"Now, let us get to the part we are all waiting for." He said with a smile and began the vows.

...

"Buffy, please face Angel, and hold his hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you.

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, they are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life.

These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams.

These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your stomach, until he too, feels his child stir within you.

These are the hands that look so large and strong, yet will be so gentle as he holds your baby for the first time.

These are the hands that will work long hours for you and your new family

These are that hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief wracks your mind.

These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you."

A tear ran down her cheek, so completely moved by the words. In response to it, Angel gently wiped it away, reinforcing the truth of the vows.

...

"Angel, please hold Buffy's hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to you.

These are the hands of your best friend, smooth, young and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she pledges her love and commitment to you all the days of her life.

These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting and encouraging them along the way, and knowing when it is time to let go.

These are the hands that will massage tension from you neck and back in the evenings after you've both had a long hard day.

These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.

These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving.

They are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope, each time she tells you that you are to have another child, that together you have created a new life.

These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish for can be realized."

...

The Minister turned to Angel, "Now Angel, you have words you wish to express to Buffy?"

Angel nodded and looked into her eyes, all the nervousness she saw earlier was gone, and all she could see in his eyes was love and joy.

"Buffy, When we first met, the thought of us together was crazy and impossible. I tried to hide my feelings and did successfully, yet painfully. But still we became closer over time and my feelings only strengthened. Then one ordinary day turned extraordinary when you confessed you had feelings for me. I told you how I felt and then you kissed me. I knew it was wrong but it felt so... right, like we were meant to be together.

You made me feel like everything was going to be alright. I couldn't believe that someone as beautiful and wonderful as you would love something like me back. Sometimes I still can't.

Yeah, it wasn't 'Happily ever after' when it first happened, but it laid the foundation for us to build upon. It's been 7 years since that amazing day and I feel for you exactly the same as I did then, I love you just as much, if not more. Before you, my life was empty, meaningless. I was lost and alone, I had no sense of purpose or being, no comprehension of family, love, friendship or honor. I thought it would be like that forever. But after we got together I was happier than I have ever been, you gave my life meaning, a purpose, a destiny.

Where there has been cold, you have brought warmth, where my life was VERY dark, you have brought light. You filled the empty spot in my heart. I can't imagine living without you again, and I won't. I'll gladly spend the rest of my life with you.

That's why I could never love anyone but you, you've always see me for who I am. You've seen me at my best, you've seen me at my worst and you never once looked away.

Today I am the luckiest man alive. I love you more than I can ever tell you or show you, and will love you forever and always."

...

Tears were running down her face long before he finished talking, but every word was burned into her memory. '_God, I want to kiss him so badly right now'_

When he finished the minister turned to Buffy. "Now Buffy, you have words you wish to express to Angel?"

Buffy nodded and looked into his eyes, all the nervousness he saw earlier was gone, and all he could see in her eyes was love and joy.

"Angel, I will always remember the day we first met, the day I kicked some cryptic wise guy in the head for following me. The very same day I lost my heart to you. Even though I had no idea who you were, what you were, I think I loved you. I saw your smile, and I just knew I wanted more. Then after I found out about you, I knew it was impossible, we could never make it work. We tried not to love one another, but it didn't help, we were already hooked. Our love was never an easy love, it cost us both more that we can ever say, but it has also given us more than we can ever express. So what can I say to you that I haven't already said? What can I give you that I haven't already given? Is there anything of me that isn't yours already? My body, my mind, my heart, even my soul, everything that is me belonged to you long before this. And it shall be yours long after this. I will go wherever you will go. Hand in hand and heart in heart. Whatever may lay ahead, good or bad, we will face it together. Because together we are strong, together there is nothing we can't accomplish.

All I ever wanted was you. Because of you, I laugh, I smile, I dare to dream again. Because of you, I see hope for the future. I had never thought about the future before you, I never wanted to, but now when I look into the future, all I see is our family. The family I'll make with you.

That's why I could never love anyone but you, you've always see me for who I am. You've seen me at my best, you've seen me at my worst and you never once looked away.

Today I am the luckiest woman alive. I love you more than I can ever tell you or show you, and will love you forever and always."

...

Tears shown unshed in Angel's eyes. He was never happier than this moment.

'_Correction, when I am finally kissing Buffy after this much too long of a day, I will never be happier, than when I am finally kissing my wife._'

The minister nodded, "Alright guys, hang on for just a few more minutes."

They both smiled and laughed a little, even the minister could tell they were about to jump one another.

"Angel, do you take Buffy to be your wedded wife? Do you promise to love, comfort, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health? And forsaking all others, be faithful only to her so long as you both shall live?"

"I do." He answered.

"Buffy, do you take Angel to be your wedded husband? Do you promise to love, comfort, honor and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health? And forsaking all others, be faithful only to him so long as you both shall live?"

"I do." She answered.

"Angel, remove the ring from Buffy's right hand and place it on her left." The Minister prompted which Angel did eagerly.

"With these hands I give you my heart, and crown it with my love." He said and slipped the silver Claddagh ring on her left ring finger, heart facing in. "I begin my life with you today knowing that we have developed a trust and commitment that is strong enough to last through good times and bad. With this ring, I offer you my hand, my heart, and my soul as I know they will be safe with you."

A moment later Buffy repeated the steps for Angel, sliding the ring onto his left hand.

They held their hands together, looking at the rings, loving that this was finally happening for them.

The Minister smiled and addressed the couple, "Today is a day you will always remember. You started off the day just two people in love and end it as husband and wife. It's a brand new beginning, the start of a journey, with moments to cherish and treasure. And although there will be times you both disagree, these will surely be outweighed by pleasure."

"Buffy and Angel, as a collection of words, this ceremony would count for little, were it not for the love and commitment you have pledged to one another. Your vows may have been spoken in minutes, but your promises to each other will last a lifetime. Having witnessed your vows for marriage with all who are assembled here today, and by the authority vested in me by the state of Ohio, I announce with great joy that you are husband and wife."

"You may now kiss…" The minister shook his head and smiled "…your bride."

Angel had beaten him to it.

Together they shared their first kiss as a married couple. It was sweet and chaste in front of their friends and family, but still held the full breadth of their feelings and love for one another.

...

Willow and Dawn had tears flowing down their cheeks; even Xander had to quickly wipe his eyes, mumbling something about dust being in them.

Connor let tears fall for his 'parents'.

Oz remained characteristically expressionless, but he sent Willow a small smirk along with a quick raise of his eyebrows.

Giles wiped his eyes and turned to Faith sitting beside him, "What?" she asked dry eyed. "Don't want my mascara to run."

Lorne was balling on a poor neighbor of Buffy and Angel's.

The minister addressed the group, "It gives me great pleasure to present to you, for the first time as husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs. Summers."

They finally ended the kiss, laughing, and both needing desperately to breathe. They held hands and turned to the 'crowd', cheering and clapping for the newly weds.

Together they walked down the isle, where they would meet the photographer and take pictures as the gang rearranged the tent for the dinner and after party.

...

To be Continued in The Reception


	15. The Reception

The Reception – December 4, 2004

* * *

Each table had a white table cloth with an emerald green candle (also bridal gown coordinated) sitting in a Claddah imprinted holder.

While on No-Slay maternity leave, Buffy had spend a considerable amount of time at home planning the wedding. She made little favors with candy coated chocolate almonds. She placed five of the candies into a six-inch square of white tulle netting, gathered up the sides to make a pouch and tied each with color coordinated ribbon. Attached she wrote: Buffy and Angel, December 4, 2004 and a little poem she found online:

_Five sugared almonds for each guest to eat  
To remind us that life is both bitter and sweet.  
Five wishes for the new husband and wife -  
Health, wealth, happiness, children, and a long life!_

She made sure one was placed on each plate for the guests to take home.

Dinner was catered by a local restaurant, one Buffy and Angel frequented often for the quality and flavor of their food. The meal was chicken cordon-blue, with garlic potatoes and green beans.

As it turned out, now that it no longer burned his mouth, Angel was quiet the garlic fan.

...

The tables were set up and dinner was heated and ready to serve by the time Buffy finished with the photographer.

'_Poor guy, his shutter pushing finger must be worn to a nub._' Angel thought as he watched the man make his leave, '_Buffy must have had him take over 100 pictures'._

The entire wedding party had been in a few shots, but Buffy wanted 'extra' of her and Angel alone. Also a few of just the guys and just the girls. One of Willow and Oz, Dawn and Connor. Angel and Connor, her and Dawn...the list went on and on. _  
_

_...  
_

Lorne, who had stolen the microphone and kicked the DJ out of his chair, had been shuffling through the music selection and memorizing what songs the couple and guests had requested. He made an announcement as the newly weds entered the tent.

"All rise and show your love you the new Mr. and Mrs. Summers! Congratulations to the lovely couple!" He put down the mic and headed over to say just that in close proximity.

When everyone had congratulated them, the happy couple was seated at the two chair table in the middle of the tent and the guests sat around them in 4 seat tables. The meal was served and Lorne was singing some dinner music.

...

"This is so surreal." Buffy said between bites of her stuffed chicken. "This is real right, and not just sur? What is sur anyways? Is it short for something?"

Angel shook his head and stifled a laugh, "Latin, prefix, means over."

"Over? As in over real? Yeah, I guess can see that." She took another bite, chewed and swallowed. "How do you know all this stuff anyways?" She asked looking over at him.

He finished chewing and answered with a shrug, "Read a lot." After a beat, "Knowing Latin helps too."

She shook her head, "Are there any languages you don't know?"

He grinned, "A few."

A tinkling sound broke the sounds of steady eating and low lever chatter. Lorne halted his singing and spoke with enthusiasm. "You hear that sound? Time for a traditional silverware induced smooch! Come on you love birds, let see a peck!"

Angel looked a Buffy a moment confused, "Why cling on the glasses?"

"Ah, so you don't know everything." She accused.

"I never said I knew everything." He corrected.

She smiled, "Just shut up and kiss me."

"Don't have to ask me twice." He said leaning across the table to do just that.

They kissed and a roar of approval came from the group.

...

"You have garlic breath" Buffy laughed as she sat back after the kiss.

"You have a piece of green bean stuck between your teeth." He shot back.

"What!" she yelped and quickly picked up her knife and tired to see her reflection.

He chuckled and look a swig of champagne to clear the spice from his mouth.

He furrowed his brow when he tasted it, "This tastes different."

When she finished cleaning the unsightly green from her smile she took a sip. "It's not champagne" she clarified, "It's sparkling cider."

"Sparkling cider?" he asked.

"Baby and alcohol not really mixable" she offered.

"Oh, right. I guess not. Actually this is better, I really don't need a repeat of last night's hangover...ever again."

A clicking on silverware on glasses interrupted them.

"Again? Didn't we just kiss?" she asked looking up.

"What? Under two hours of marriage and your already sick of me?" he joked.

"Never" she dismissed and kissed him again.

...

Not long after, Connor stood up and raised his glass. "As the best man, I'd like to offer a toast to my dad and his new bride."

When all eyes focused on him, he forced down his butterflies and continued, "First off, even as Angel's son, I've probably known him for less time than nearly everyone here. I never got the chance to grow up with him, we never played ball, he never taught me to ride a bike or how to shave...but at the same time, I feel like I've know him my whole life. I grew up hearing stories of a monster, a vicious killer that needed staking...I came back to this world so confused and poisoned with hate, I couldn't see anything for what it was. Angel tried to help me, to show me to a batter path...but I couldn't see it. Then, well there were circumstances, we fought a lot, and I lost control. I was ready to kill myself, just to make the pain stop." He got quiet a moment and the 'audience' waited for him to continue.

Angel sat very still during the speech, not really comfortable with the painful reminders. Buffy had her hand tightly clutching his to led her support.

"He could have killed me, he could have sent me away" Connor continued, "But he didn't. Instead of taking the easy road, he sacrificed everything he believed in and signed up with Wolfram & Hart so I could have a better life, so I could live as a happy, health boy with the emotional stability I needed. There aren't many who would do something like that for someone they barely know.

But that's who my dad is. He's not the monster I was raised to hate, He's an amazing man.

When the magic he fought so hard for failed and I lost the family he had worked to give me; without a thought he took me in. Gave me a roof over my head, food to eat, clothes to wear, even found the money to send me back to college. Most of all, he gave me love. Over these last months, I got to really know the man that fathered me. He's not perfect, but that's what makes him so great. He's real. He showed me you can makes mistakes, but that redemption is always an option. He gave me more confidence, acceptance and love than everyone else I've know combined."

He looked to Buffy when he continued, "That's why I know he'll never let you down, why your marriage will last a lifetime. Because my dad doesn't know how to quit. When he loves someone, or even a stranger, he'll do everything possible for them because he can't give up on anyone."

He turned back to Angel, "So, Thank you dad. For everything you've done for me. I love you and wish you the very best of everything."

There was a little applause and Angel's cheeks were red from embarrassment (and a little wet from tears of pride), almost no one except Buffy, had known what had happened with him and Wolfram & Hart and Connor.

"Not done yet." Connor spoke up to keep people from drinking their toast.

'_Oh no. Now what?'_ Angel thought anxiously, but Connor turned to Buffy instead.

"Buffy, I haven't know you long, but in this short time I've grown to love you as a mother. You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met. I feel as though I can talk to you, I have on several occasion for hours. Even though I'm your husband's son, with a woman I know you hated, you've never shown me a speck of resentment. You've treated me as your own.

You're beautiful, smart, strong and funny. You're everything a man could ever want and more, and no I'm not trying to steal you from my dad."

There was a pause and a small laugh from the crowd.

"I know you'll be a wonderful mother, because you've already shown it to me. I know you'll have a long and happy marriage because I've seen you with my dad. The love the two of you share is so extraordinary, as extraordinary as you two are. Not to mention a little loud, which makes me grateful I live on campus."

The crowd laughed while the newlyweds shrugged and chucked with red cheeks.

"But seriously, you two are amazing to watch together. I can only hope one day I find a woman I love half as much you you love one another."

He raised his glass, he had lowered it during the long speech, and the others followed his lead.

"So in conclusion, I wish you both a long and happy life together, I wish you healthy children and I wish you the strength and power to keep this planet safe. Oh, And I also wish you no more apocalypses on your special occasions. Congratulations!"

Everyone cheered and took a sip of their drink.

...

Dawn quickly stood and clanged on a glass to get everyone's attention. When she all all eyes on her she fidgeted a bit, "Hey" she said with a little wave. "So I'm going to give a little speech too, since I'm the maid of honor I kinda have to...you couldn't have made Willow maid of honor?" Dawn joked towards her sister.

"Anyways, everyone here knows my sister, everyone knows how amazing she is so I really don't need to say a lot about that. What I want to talk about today is the woman Buffy becomes when Angel is with her."

"What is she going to say? Should I be tackling her right now?" Buffy whispered to Angel. He shrugged, he was just as surprised about the speeches as she was.

"I've seen her before she ever loved anyone. Back in her first year at Hemery and pre-high school days, boys were nothing more than a fashion accessory to her, all about looks and status symbols. Then she met Angel, and all that changed. Yeah her calling helped weed out a good chunk of the superficial out of Buffy, but I think it was Angel that purged the rest from her.

I remember the first time I saw Angel, he was in our kitchen, shirtless no less. Buffy begged me not to tell mom, and I could see the love almost forming in her eyes even then for him. Just in the way she would glance over towards him, or in the way she bandaged his wounds. I knew I could get out of a lot of chores using that as leverage.

When I found out she was crushing on a vampire I freaked on her, but the way she defended him...I knew she had it bad. All I could think was thrall.

But then I met Angel, we talked and a grew to like him. I saw a little of what Buffy saw in him. He was kind and gentle, all mysterious and deep, knowledgeable yet baffled by most electronics. He always treated me like his little sister, but not like a little kid. He somehow just made me feel special. Even helped me with my homework a few times.

Then of course then there was that whole going evil thing."

Buffy held her hands to her face and half laughed, "I'm going to kill her."

"Buffy was never the same after she came home, when Angel was in hell, it was like a part of her was with him. She tried to act normal again, tried to date...but we all could see the fire had gone from her eyes. She was broken, her soul-mate was gone.

Then he came back, a little damaged, but Buffy didn't mind. Her heart was whole again. At the time we all though she was insane, but when he got better, he helped heal her as much as she helped heal him.

The fact that their love could survive hell, that was amazing. When he left again, I sorta hated him for awhile. I feared him leaving would ruin her heart, but then she started dating again and I had hope. It wasn't until Angel came back into her life a few months ago, that I realized the light I'd seen in Buffy's eyes when he was absent, was nothing compared to the blazing sun she has now."

"Angel" Dawn address right to him, "You're the only person that's ever gotten Buffy to smile her true smile, the only one to bring that fire to her eyes, without you in her life...she's barely even alive. Thank you for giving that to my sister, for making her happier than any of us thought she could be.

I understand what you did for her, you leaving was nearly impossible for Buffy, but it did make her a stronger more focused slayer. But now she isn't the only girl in the world anymore, she can just be Buffy again. And she gets to be Buffy with her Angel. I know my sister will be safe with you, not only do you have the heart to love her, but you have the strength to protect her and the courage to fight by her side.

I love you both, I wish you like a lifetime of happiness and a dozen little nieces and nephews for me to spoil rotten.

...

After the speech both Buffy and Angel went up to Connor and Dawn, who were sitting together, to say their thanks.

...

"What happened to 'I hate giving speeches'? Angel asked as he pulled his son into a tight embrace.

The boy laughed, "That was before I was forced to take public speaking this semester."

"I'm still deciding whether to kiss or kill you." Buffy said as she hugged her sister, nearly too tight.

"I vote for neither, Angel might get jealous of you start kissing me instead of him." Dawn offered.

"How about I kiss you." Angel said right before he kissed Dawn's cheek.

"Thanks Dawnie, but let us just get though the first kid before wishing us a dozen more, Ok?" He asked with a smile.

"Thank you Connor, I can only wish you're little sister is half as wonderful as you are." Buffy said hugging her step-son.

...

Once the dinner was eaten, and the speeches were given, the plates were removed so the cake could be served.

Lorne walked out to the couple and took center stage again. "And now it's time for the traditional cutting of the cake! Not that you two aren't sweet enough as it is…" he sent Buffy a dashing smile.

Xander and Oz helped bring the cake out from the back and placed it on the center table Buffy and Angel had eaten at.

The cake was beautiful; Buffy had designed it herself and made sure the baker followed her instructions to the T.

There weren't many people so it was a small three tier cake, chocolate with vanilla flavored frosting. It was white with an intricate Celtic pattern along the rim, and a Claddagh design on the top tier, the color of the scroll-work was the same as the bridesmaid dresses.

The topper got more than a few laughs, it was a perfect rendition of Buffy and Angel; they were back to back, she holding a crossbow and him a sword. They looked ready to face whatever life could throw at them.

Angel laughed when he saw it, he had let her pick out everything she wanted and she had wanted to keep it a surprise.

He was surprised.

"Do you like it?" she asked hopeful.

"No." he replied.

She frowned, clearly hurt. "You don't like it?"

"Nope." He turned to her and smiled, "I love it."

Her frown reversed into a 100 watt smile, and she hugged him.

"It's perfect beloved." He said and kissed her cheek.

"Alright you two, save it for the honeymoon." Lorne's voice cut in, "Now let's serve this tasty treat before our stomachs register how much we already ate tonight."

...

Lorne sang 'How Sweet it is to be loved by you' as Buffy cut the first slice of cake.

"Open wide" she purred to her new husband

He did, eager for a taste of the appetizing cake.

Angel saw the gleam flash in his new wife's eyes and he knew in a moment instead of feeding him the cake, she was going to shove it in his face.

He wasn't wrong.

Buffy was laughing hysterically and apologizing while Angel wiped the frosting off his face and blew crumbs from his nose with a napkin. He tasted a bit that was on his lip and made an sound of approval.

Despite being smashed into his face, it was a great tasting cake.

"You do realize I get to feed you now." He clarified with a tone of impending cake face.

Her eyes widened in realization, "No, no way. Don't you dare! You don't actually know how much I spent on this dress, and god, gods?, goddess?…whatever willing you never will, but believe me when I tell you, DO NOT GET CAKE ON THIS DRESS!" She didn't actually yell the last words, but the tone if her voice made it sound loud.

Angel ignored her and picked up the knife, he cut a little piece and sent her a grin that almost reminded her of Angelus.

Lorne sang again, "How sweet it is to have revenge on you."

Buffy backed up a little and Angel advanced.

"Open wide." He mocked with a menacing smirk.

_'Damn, I knew I should have gone last.'_

She stopped retreating and stood her ground. With her eyes tightly shut she opened her mouth and awaited a frosting face-mask.

The sliver of cake slid delicately into her mouth.

She opened her eyes in surprise and chewed. "Mmm, that is good." She said dreamily a moment.

Angel just smirked at her.

"How come you didn't shove cake up my nose like I did to you?" she asked suspiciously, wondering if he put some in her hair or something when her eyes were shut.

He gave her a brilliant smile, "Because I love my wife and wouldn't do that to her on her wedding day." Before she could respond he leaned down to whisper into her ear, "Not now, but at a time and place of my choosing, I will have my revenge." He promised.

"You're evil." She countered.

"Sometimes." He agreed honestly.

Soon after they cut the cake and passed it around. The top of the cake was carefully boxed and would be frozen for them to enjoy for their one year anniversary.

...

When everyone was finished dessert, the tables were folded up and moved to the sides along with the chairs to open a space for dancing. Lorne was busy picking songs to sing while and Scooby gang got ready to let loose.

"All right guys and gals, I need the love doves to make their way to the center of the stage for their first dance as a married couple!" Lorne's voice spoke thought the microphone.

They walked to the center and waited a moment for Lorne to begin. When they were in position, the green demon began to sing Shania Twain's 'You're still the one.'

(When I first saw you, I saw love.  
And the first time you touched me, I felt love.  
And after  
all this time, you're still the one I love.)  
Looks like we made it  
Look how far we've come my baby  
We mighta took the long way  
We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"  
But just look at us holding on  
We're still together still going strong

(You're still the one)  
You're still the one I run to  
The one that I belong to  
You're still the one I want for life  
(You're still the one)  
You're still the one that I love  
The only one I dream of  
You're still the one I kiss good night

Ain't nothin' better  
We beat the odds together  
I'm glad we didn't listen  
Look at what we would be missin'

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"  
But just look at us holding on  
We're still together still going strong

(You're still the one)  
You're still the one I run to  
The one that I belong to  
You're still the one I want for life  
(You're still the one)  
You're still the one that I love  
The only one I dream of  
You're still the one I kiss good night

"You're always going to be my one." Angel whispered to her towards the end of the song.

She tilted her head up and they shared a deep kiss. "As long as you're mine too."

...

After a moment Lorne address the group, "Ok, now a have a dedication from Buffy to Angel."

He began to sing, 'You are the wind beneath my wings'.

Angel looked down at her when the music began. "Wind beneath my wings?" he questioned with a laugh.

She scowled. "Shut up and listen." She said hugging him closer.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.  
It must have been cold there in my shadow,  
to never have sunlight on your face.  
You were content to let me shine, that's your way.  
You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the glory,  
while you were the one with all the strength.  
A beautiful face without a name for so long.  
A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you're my hero,  
and everything I would like to be?  
I can fly higher than an eagle,  
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,  
but I've got it all here in my heart.  
I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.  
I would be nothing without you.

Buffy looked up at him, "Sometimes I think if I never met you, I wouldn't have survived my first year as the Slayer." She fingered the silver cross hanging from her neck, the one Angel gave her the day they met as she continued, "This necklace alone saved me more than once; you helped me fight off The Three and then so many fights since, so many times just talking to you pulled me from the wreckage of my life after that. You really are my hero."

He bent and they kissed deeply, the music and eyes around them forgotten.

When they broke apart he whispered to her, "You're my hero too. You saved me dozens of times, even from myself. Just knowing you made me better, because deep down, I wanted to be just like you. All the courage and strength I have today, I borrowed from you."

She pulled his impossibly closer. "I love you."

He kissed the top of her head, "I love you."

...

The song ended and Lorne called out, "Ok kids, Now one from Angel to Buffy, then I swear we can get this party started!" He sang Bryan Adam's 'Heaven'.

Oh thinkin' about all our younger years  
There was only you and me  
We were young and wild and free  
Now nothing can take you away from me  
We've been down that road before  
But that's over now  
You keep me comin' back for more

And baby you're all that I want  
When you're lyin' here in my arms  
I'm findin' it hard to believe  
We're in heaven  
And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven

Oh once in your life you find someone  
Who will turn your world around  
Bring you up when you're feelin' down  
Now nothin' can change what you mean to me  
Oh there's lots that I could say  
But just hold me now  
'Cause our love will light the way

And Baby you're all that I want  
When you're lyin' here in my arms  
I'm findin' it hard to believe  
We're in heaven  
And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven

I've been waitin' for so long  
For somethin' to arrive  
For love to come along  
Now our dreams are comin' true  
Through the good times and the bad  
I'll be standin' there by you, oh!

And baby you're all that I want  
When you're lyin' here in my arms  
I'm findin' it hard to believe  
We're in heaven  
And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven, heaven  
Whoa, oh, oh!

You're all that I want  
You're all that I need

We're in heaven

"As someone who's actually been to heaven, this is pretty damn close" She said from the perfection of Angel's embrace.

He grinned down at her, "I'd take this over some crappy harp any day."

She giggled and shook her head, "Now that's an image...you in white with a harp..."

Lorne finished the song then broke into a jaunty tune people could dance to.

...

As the music played a platinum blond head poked into the tent. He grimaced when he saw Angel and Buffy dancing in the middle with Xander, Dawn, Connor, Willow, Oz, Giles and a few others he didn't know. "Bloody pathetic."

"Yeah, I prefer a little more X-rated in my music." Faith said casually as she sat on the sidelines, Spike lurked in behind her.

"Is it just me, or did Blondie gain some weight?" Spike asked noticing the slight swell in Buffy's dress.

Faith turned and flashed him a grin, "Didn't know B was knocked up huh? Guess they couldn't save the bumps and grinds for tonight."

Spike looked surprised, but strangely content with the idea. "Huh, well then. Didn't think the ponce had it in em." He smiled an evil smile, "I'll be an uncle."

Faith raise a brow, "Not you too. Bad enough they got the rest all 'Oh Buffy I get to be an aunty, or Oh Buffy I'll be a grandpa!' Please! Anyways, wouldn't that make you a nephew, not an uncle?"

Spike shot down that idea in an instant. "No! I must certainly would not be a nephew! I'm older, I'd get to be the uncle!" he stated.

Faith shrugged, "Just sayin."

"Well, I suppose I should say hello. That would be the right and proper thing to be in this situation." Spike said as he sat in the chair beside Faith.

He didn't move for a few minutes, just watched the happy people dancing to Lorne's vocal cords.

"You still love her?" she asked absently.

Spike seemed to think about the answer a moment, "Honestly? I don't rightly know. It's been recently brought to my attention I've never had a relationship where I wasn't completely obsessed with the object of my desires. Buffy, Dru, even me own mum. It was all or nothin with em."

"You forgot the random girls you shag on tables and never call." Faith deadpanned.

"Don't have your number."

"You didn't ask.

"You didn't offer."

"Bastard."

"Slut."

They kissed hard.

"Think the bedroom door is unlocked?" Faith asked in a husky, lust infused voice.

"If you even **think** of having sex in our house again" Buffy broke in, "There will be blood, and I won't be mine."

Angel stepped up next to her, "I second that."

Spike smiled as if he hadn't just been threatened, "Well, well if it isn't Mr. and Mrs. Happy Endin."

"Don't start." Angel said narrowing his eyes.

Spike ignored him too and directed his attention on Buffy. "I doubt you'll believe me when I say it, but congratulations." He paused a second and added, "You look amazing by the way, positively glowin. That little filly in there's gunna be quiet the looker I'd think." He finished pointing to the gently swell of Buffy's belly.

"Thank you." She said, grateful he wasn't going to make a seen.

Spike turned to Angel, the later with a scowl on his lips. "Keep makin faces like that and I'll freeze that way…oh…too late." He teased.

Angel rolled his eyes and shook his head as he folded his arms in front of his chest. "Grow up Spike."

"Can't, seems I stopped grownin back in 1880. Anyways, you've got one hell of a woman there, you don't treat her right…I'll make sure they never find your body." He only half-threatened.

Angel narrowed his eyes in anger a moment at the threat, then softened his gaze when he recognized the Angelus reference for what it was. If he died and lost his soul, Spike would make sure he was destroyed and Buffy would be taken care of. It wasn't really appropriate wedding day conversation, but the person making it wasn't know for his tact. Angel accepting the closest thing he would ever get as congratulations from Spike. "Thanks."

They shook hands a moment, then the moment was over like it never existed.

"Right, well I've got to run. Got meself a date tonight." Spike said with a sly smirk. He turned to Faith, "Right love?"

"You gunna pay?" she asked.

"Wouldn't be a gentleman if I didn't." he replied.

"Fine, you're on then." She agreed with hidden eagerness. She was looking forward to a little liquid fire and sex induced stress relief.

Spike took Faith's hand in his, nodded his head goodbye, and disappeared out the side door into the night.

Buffy and Angel stood in place a moment, they exchanged a look.

"I'll check the upstairs." Buffy said.

"I'll lock the downstairs and check the garage." Angel added as they split into the house to make sure Spike and Faith actually left and didn't sneak off to violate the sanctity of their house...again.

Once Spike and Faith were actually gone, the party continued as normal.

...

Oz and Willow danced together, remembering back to the simpler days of high school and the sweetness of first love.

"I got my pez witch back." Willow spoke into Oz's shoulder.

"Really?" he asked, in a stoic kind of surprise.

She smiled, "Yeah, a few days ago Buffy asked me to help her retrieve something from the former Sunnydale, the one that's not a crater. I did a locator spell and found their old house. We did some salvaging. Buffy found her stuffed pig and the necklace Angel gave her while Dawn got some clothes and her diaries. And I found my little pez witch."

Oz nodded. "I still have my wacky cartoon dog pez."

Her eyes brightened, "You do! Oh, that's like uber romantic!"

"A sign?" he asked.

She sighed against him, enjoying his warmth, "Maybe."

They drifted off, just content to be in each others arms.

Oz didn't even notice when they began to hover just above the floor, swaying gently to Lorne's voice.

...

Connor was dancing with Dawn, the teens matching dance moves and laughing as they watched their family flail on the dance floor.

The two had become like brother and sister in only hours of knowing one another. Nothing romantic bloomed between them, especially since Dawn was technically his aunt by marriage, but they still had a very close relationship. Even though Connor was at school a lot, they communicated via email and called one another weekly if not more.

They found a kindred spirit in one another they couldn't find elsewhere. They both had childhoods that varied from what they remembered; both 'grew up' in a span of months, had supernatural origins and had lived with the knowledge that things tended to go more than just 'bump' in the night.

"Check it out." Connor said as he nudged dawn's arm and pointed to Willow and Oz floating a few inches off the floor.

"See, that's why I want to learn magic...it's too cool! Imagine the fun at parties!" Dawn exasperated at the sight.

...

Xander gyrated and flailed around within the group as he danced. He was still a little hung-over from the Bachelor party and all the jumping around was making him nauseous. He excused himself and had a seat in the corner of the tent and just observed the scene.

The music changed to Mandy, and he watched Buffy and Angel swaying together, lost, again, in their own little world.

_'I hate to admit, defiantly feeling the sharp fanged bite of jealousy here._'

He knew Angel would never make his 'BFF' list, but in recent months he'd come to know there was a difference between man and demon.

Buffy had always seen the two sides as separate faces of a single coin; each had their own image and design.

Xander had just seen a value to hate, one side sparking jealousy that the undead could win Buffy's heart while he couldn't and the other being a vicious homicidal maniac that killed Jenny. Hate/hate situation all the way.

However Xander was now beginning to see it wasn't Angel standing in the way of winning Buffy all those years ago, even after the man left Buffy still hadn't ever seen him as more than a friend.

He had been disappointed when Riley left, and once the secret was out about her and Spike, he realized Buffy could never be happy with a normal Joe like him. She really did need a little monster in her man.

And Xander was well aware of the monster still lurking just under the skin of the 'Angelic' face.

As he watched the couple he couldn't help but think of Anya and their wedding day…should have been wedding day rather. He'd bailed. Plain and simple. He did regret it, mostly for how he did it and not for the action itself.

He hadn't been ready yet, not really in his heart. However waiting until just minutes before the ceremony was just shit poor timing on his part. He often wondered what would have happened if he had shut his trap and married her. Would Anya still be alive today? Would they have children by now? Would life be wonderful or a living hell?

Questions he would never get to answer.

He shook his head, reeling in his wandering brain and stood. A few steps brought him over to the newly weds as they danced to an upbeat rhythm.

"May I cut in?" he asked Angel. The part-time vamp looked at him a moment, then nodded.

Buffy watched Angel move to dance with Connor and Dawn with a slight frown.

"What's up Xander?" she asked. She had mostly healed the raw anger she had at him from their not so merry van ride, but there were no hugs between them yet. Contributing to getting Angel trashed the night before the wedding wasn't helping either.

"I just wanted to tell you, you look amazing tonight." He told her with honesty.

She looked uncomfortable a moment, wondering where he was going with this.

He held up his hand, "Just bear with me a sec ok? I know I'm not your favorite person right now, but I do want you to know I'm am deeply and truly sorry for all that I've done to you. I'm an idiot, I know that now. What I did to you and Angel was selfish and spiteful. I should have told you about the re-ensoulment spell."

Buffy's lips were tight, he was bringing up memories not suitable for her wedding day.

"So I guess I just wanted to ask if we can wash the slate clean. Start bounty fresh?" he asked.

She shook her head, "I know you're sorry Xander, but I'm not the one you need to apologize to. Angel suffered the most from your actions, he's the one that needs to forgive you, not me." She stated.

Xander nodded his head, his whole body ridged, that wasn't what he'd wanted to hear her say. "Yeah, I…I suppose you're right…as always."

"Are you going to steal my wife all night?" Angel asked as he came up from behind Buffy and hugged her to him.

She absolutely glowed at the word 'wife'.

"Don't let me interrupt." Xander said as he quickly backed away before Buffy could draw him into a conversation to apologize.

He wasn't quite ready for that yet.

...

Giles was having a brilliant time. He had never seen his Slayer so happy, the joy seemed to be contagious.

For the first time since coming to America, he really felt at home, like a real family.

As a watcher he had been denied the simple pleasures of wife and children, but in this group he'd always felt like a father figure. Tonight, he felt like a dad. A dad watching his little girl grow up and become a woman. It brought tears to his eye that she would ask him to walk her down the aisle. That he would be the grandfather to her and Angel's child.

He eased off the dance floor and sat on a chair, just watching.

He hated to admit he was tired, the alcohol from the previous night, and lack of restful sleep were catching up to him rapidly.

The yawn that threatened to escape was stuffed back down for the moment and Giles regained his feet.

"May I have a dance with my daughter?" He asked the groom.

Angel smiled at him, "Of course." he said and offered Buffy's hand.

Lorne noticed the exchange and began a father/daughter dance song he thought fit the Slayer and her Watcher. 'I turn to you.'

Buffy smiled up at her watcher, "Was wondering when I'd get to dance with you." She said as she slid against him, resting her head against his chest and danced slowly with the father of her heart.

"When I'm lost in the rain,  
In your eyes I know I'll find the light to light my way.  
And when I'm scared and losing ground;  
When my world is going crazy, you can turn it all around.

And when I'm down you're there; pushing me to the top.  
You're always there; giving me all you've got.

For a shield from the storm;  
For a friend; for a love  
To keep me safe and warm,  
I turn to you.  
For the strength to be strong;  
For the will to carry on;  
For everything you do;  
For everything that's true,  
I turn to you.

When I lose my will to win,  
I just reach for you and I can reach the sky again.  
I can do anything,  
'Cause your love is so amazing; 'cause your love inspires me.

And when I need a friend, you're always on my side;  
Giving me faith that gets me through the night.

For the arms to be my shelter through all the rain;  
For truth that will never change;  
For someone to lean on;  
for a heart I can rely on through anything;  
For that one who I can run to...  
I turn to you.

For a shield from the storm;  
For a friend; for a love  
To keep me safe and warm,  
I turn to you.  
For the strength to be strong;  
For the will to carry on;  
For everything you do;  
For everything that's true...

For everything you do;  
For everything that's true,  
I turn to you...

When the song ended Buffy slowly removed herself from her watcher, "Thank you." she said and pulled him down to kiss his cheek.

"For what?" he asked, fighting with himself to not pull off his glasses or fiddle with his tie.

"Everything." she told him meaningfully.

He pulled her into a tight hug, "I couldn't be more proud of you, not only in your Slayer duties, but in the wondrous woman you have become. I had serious doubts when I first met you, I admit that, but you proved me wrong in every account."

She hugged back, "Me too. Well I guess I wasn't wrong when I thought 'stuffy British nerd', but you're my stuffy British nerd and I wouldn;t have you any other way."

"Umm...yes. I...ahh...Thanks...I think." He stumbled.

"Ok, my husband is looking mighty lonely at the moment, I better go grab him before he starts to brood about something." She said with a wink and went to do just that.

...

Hours had past, it was late. The gang was slowing down as they lost party momentum.

"Ready to get going?" Angel asked Buffy.

"Yeah, getting sleepy." she admitted with a stifled yawn.

"Hey, your not allowed to get tired yet, it is our honeymoon, remember?" He almost purred into her ear.

She instantly brightened, "Right, let's ditch the family, we have our own party to attend."

He grinned and followed her as they hugged and thanked the guests for coming.

...

A few people crashed as Buffy and Angel's house while the majority went home. Since Lorne lived in L.A still and it was a long drive from Ohio, he stayed along with Giles, who was just too beat to drive home. Connor and Dawn stayed too, since they was home for break.

There were two empty rooms on the second floor that were temporary guest bedrooms when the 'kids' were in school. Connor and Dawn bunked together in on room, he slept on the fold out cot while she took the bed. Lorne set up shop in Connor's room while Giles was already passed out on the living room couch.

...

Angel went upstairs and grabbed their bags while Buffy pulled a sheet over Giles sleeping form.

Once all the guests were tucked in, they left for their honeymoon.

...

To be continued in 'The Honeymoon.'

Sorry if I'm taking longer in posting. The faster posts are when the story is already written and I just have to proof-read. I'm writing these as I go, so they may not be as good as the older stories that I had lots and lots of time to re-read and add/fix.


	16. The Honeymoon

The Honeymoon – December 4-5, 2004

* * *

It wasn't a particularly exciting honeymoon destination; they didn't have a wonderful trip overseas planned or a lush tropical vacation scheduled. They had both decided they shouldn't bother spending a ton of money going on some outrageous trip if they were just going to spend 90% of it in bed.

Angel had rented the honeymoon suite at 'The Royal' which happened to be Cleveland's biggest and most luxurious hotel.

They hadn't bothered to change out of their wedding attire; they both found the outfits extremely alluring and wanted the pleasure of undressing the other. Sort of like the excitement of opening a wrapped gift, half the fun was peeling off the paper to get to the goodies inside.

"Congratulations" were said from nearly everyone they passed on the way to their room, but they barely heard half of them. They were too involved in one another to even notice.

...

Buffy ran her hands over Angel's smooth muscled chest. Sometimes she couldn't remember what he'd felt like as one on the undead, his warmth was such a welcomed feeling by now.

As she looked down at his body, she smiled to herself. Almost nothing had changed since she first glimpsed the pale flesh of his skin 8 years ago. He had still been a vampire then, but she hadn't known that yet. To her, he was just some extremely handsome, adept annoying, young man that showed up at the right place and the right time. He'd fought by her side and been injured as a result.

She had told him innocently enough to remove his jacket and his shirt as she fetched some medical supplies. And when she returned, god had the sight of him made her knees weaken. He was amazing; the definition in that body, the muscles and perfect skin, the angles of his cheeks, and the intensity of his eyes. Even then, back when she had still been so innocent, he made her panties moisten.

Now, he was the same.

That still amazed her. She had changed so much since 1997, at least she thought so. But Angel? He looked no different from that day in 1630 Revello drive, when she was sixteen and he had a gash across his ribs. The only difference now? His skin was no longer cold and pale with death; it was warn and tanned with life. His chest wasn't still; it rose and fell with breath. His heart was not quiet; it beat with the rhythm of their recent passion.

He still made her panties wet when she saw him, or at least he would if she were wearing any.

...

She was surprised her wedding dress wasn't torn into pieces by the time they were finally alone. Somehow they'd kept their lust in check, at least until the dress was off. Once free of the gown, she'd pounced on him like she were a hungry dog, and he the bone.

The sexy lacy white strapless bra and matching panties hadn't fared so well. There were pieces of them leading a trail to the bed; one persistent strand had even made it under the sheets with them earlier.

His outfit hadn't faired well either, there would be hell to pay with the rental company…but that wasn't even remotely on either of their minds.

She had bought a wedding night outfit, a silky white see though baby doll nighty that hung open along her swelling belly, but the idea of putting **on** clothes at the time was kind of ridiculous.

That was over an hour ago, some of their pent up desire was spent, but only some.

He was beneath her at the moment; she was straddling his abs, running her fingers along those wonderful toned muscles. His hands were caressing up and down her thighs, flirting with her rump, running his long fingers against the smooth skin. His eyes, half-lidded, almost drunkenly staring up at her exposed chest. A little smile of contentment on his face.

She bent forward and ran her lips along his collarbone, her blond locks falling against his face, tickling his cheek.

"You know, the honeymoon traditionally lasted an entire month." He suggested as he traced his fingers up her side and along her back.

She shivered under his touch, but he'd always done that to her. She used to think it was because his hands were cold, but they were warm now, and she still shivered under his caress.

"Are you suggesting we have a month long honeymoon?" she asked as she kissed up his neck.

He grinned against her, "I was actually thinking more like forever."

"Forever huh?" she asked with a smirk, "What would we do with ourselves for all that time?'

He chuckled, "I could handle this for a millennium or three."

"This?" she replied kissing his neck.

"Or this?" she asked a little more suggestively while kissing his ear.

"Or this?" she finished kissing his lips.

"All of the above." He answered as his hands wandered to her breasts.

...

She pushed at his arms, "Over your head." She suggested with a gleam in her eyes.

"Why?" he asked with a smirk. He had been enjoying using his fingers on her nipples a moment ago, she look as if she had been too.

"You'll see." She answered cryptically.

He obeyed, clasping his hands together and holding the bar across the metal headboard.

She ran her hands along his stretched skin, trailing kisses as he does so often to her, but instead of starting up and heading down, she started at his navel and climbed upwards.

He closed his eyes at the sensation, loving the feeling of her crawling up his body as she was. Her nipping at his nipple sent a wave of desire through his groin. He felt her continue up, kissing his neck, his jaw, finally his lips. He kissed back with eagerness.

It was hard keeping his hands holding onto the bar behind him.

He felt her fingers crawl up his arms, massaging the muscles and moving to his hands. He felt something fuzzy brush his wrists, then the click of metal.

Her tongue in his mouth had occupied him for a moment, but now he realized it had been a purposeful distraction.

He stopped kissing back and tilted his head to look up at his hands. His wrists were surrounded by soft, fuzzy leopard print handcuffs.

He looked at her with a questioning glance. "Umm…do you just handcuff me to the bed?"

Buffy sat back on him, giving him a full view of her bare body and no way to interact with it. "Maybe." She answered vaguely, a sly smile of her lips.

He tried to pull his hands out of the cuffs, superhuman strength no match for thin metal, he thought. After a moment, found he couldn't break the lock.

"Their enchanted." She explained, "They cancel-out the strength of whoever wears them. To those cuffs, you might as well be a wad of wet tissue paper. So you're trapped here until I say the magic words to release you."

He felt a pang of worry here.

"And why exactly and I handcuffed again?" he asked, not sure he was happy about this. _'Cancel my strength? Wet tissue? I can't get out? Does she actually think with her lying naked in this bed, I'll voluntarily leave on our honeymoon? No chance in hel!''_

"Oh, I don't know." She said crawling against him, her body rubbing a very stimulation place of his anatomy.

A moan of pleasure escaped his lips.

"Maybe because someone decided to run off on our wedding day?" She offered in a 'I never forget' sort of tone.

_'Fuck. Ok, I knew she'd be mad about the wedding...but take it out on me?'_

He shook his head, "Ok that's unfair, if I didn't there would have been no wedding! Hellmouth opening? Apocalypse? Besides, you're pregnant, I'm not about to drag my unborn off to a major battle. I swear, I wouldn't have thought twice about bringing you if circumstances were different."

She nodded her head, "I know the facts." She leaned down to his ear. "That's why you're not also wearing a gag...I'm still debating on the blindfold." She whispered to him. _'Although…I might need to try that later.'_

_'Gag? She has a gag!? What is this? When did my wife turn into a dominatrix?'_

He stuffed his 'fear?/excitement?' down and looked at her curiously, "Where were you hiding these? And better yet, where did you get them?"

They had been in bed for a few hours now, she didn't have then in the bed, or stashed on herself. Plus she didn't own handcuffs, at least he didn't think she did. This was new.

She grinned and leaned down against him, her breasts pressing teasingly against his chest. "You'll never know where I hid them, but I'll tell you I got them in a kit from Faith, for my bachelorette party."

_'I should have known, me and her, we're having a 'talk' next time we meet.'_

He felt the metal around his wrist and saw the gleam of mischief in Buffy's eyes.

_'If I live that long.'_

_..._

She resumed her slow and steady torture. Pressing her body against his, kissing his skin, tracing her fingers along his tanned and untanned flesh.

All the while, he couldn't touch her back.

She would kiss his lips but not let him kiss back. Rub herself in his most sensitive places, but not give him release.

Buffy had a feather teaser. Things would have been much easier for him had he still been dead, he never used to be ticklish...but that was the past.

…

She looked down at him; his eyes were shut, brow furrowed slightly, his lips parted as he breathed huskily from her actions. Pleasure of her touch, but almost pain from not being able to respond showed clearly on his features.

"_Maybe I'm being too hard on him, it's not like he didn't want to marry me. The world was in mortal jeopardy."_

Before she could relent and give him release he bucked his knees up, pushing on her rump and she fell forward, he caught her lips in a hungry kiss as she landed on his chest.

His pent up desire wouldn't be denied much longer.

She kissed back eagerly, silently wondering if she should punish or reward the action.

He didn't give her time to choose.

Despite his hands being cuffed to the bar running along the middle of the headboard, he still had some freedom in his wrists.

Catching her off guard, and using a little super human strength and agility, he spun. Apparently the cuffs only canceled out power directed towards breaking free of them, he wasn't trying to get out.

With his hands holding the bar, he flipped her beneath him (being mindful of her tummy) and used his body and the intensity of the kiss to push her up the headboard, successfully trapping her within his arms. The cool metal of the headboard rested against her back and he pressed his warm chest against her from the front. His hands chained around the mid of her back to the bar.

If someone had walked into the room at the moment it would almost look like he were praying to the wall behind the bed.

"Now what?" he asked with a victory smile as he kissed her neck and held her tightly.

She jumped up; wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms snaked around his neck as he knelt in front of her and the headboard.

_'Well he did manage to trap me while cuffed to the bed… that deserves a reward for creativity'_

She adjusted her body and gave him silent permission to enter.

He took advantaged immediately, his sword of arousal slid perfectly into her awaiting sheathe.

They both moaned as pleasure overtook them.

If there had been people sleeping in the room next door; they would not have slept that night with the banging of the headboard against the wall.

It was a wonder they didn't break the bed.

_..._

Buffy slowly awoke. She was laying on Angel's chest, as always, a little smile slid across her lips at the thought.

The room was lightening, suggesting she had fallen sleep some time ago and morning had arrived. She felt a chill from the room and wondered why Angel's arms weren't blanketing her as usual. She looked up and discovered why.

"Oh no!" she gasped and sat up when she realized she'd fallen asleep with her new husband still handcuffed to the bed.

She had only originally planned to keep him cuffed for at max an hour, but he'd intervened and those plans had fled quickly from her mind as outrageous amounts of passion replaced them. It had to have been at least 5 hours since then if it was this late in the AM.

He stirred beneath her as her movement roused him. He groaned as sleep drained from him.

"Angel? Are you ok? I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to leave you…hanging like this." Buffy apologized as she tried to remember the incantation to release the cuffs.

He grinned, remembering he hadn't found the cuffs all that inconvenient. "It's alright. I've been in worse cuffs for longer." He admitted. Lovers and enemies alike stringing him up came to mind; there were dozens of times, not all of them negative. "At least these don't chafe."

She said the words and the cuffs opened.

He gasped in pain a moment when his arms fell from the open restraint. The blood flowing back onto his muscles sent a spasm of pins and needles throughout his nerve ending.

"I'm sorry." Buffy begged against his cheek as her hands worked to relieve the muscle aches in his shoulders.

He turned his head and kissed her forehead. "I'm not."

She pulled back from him so she could look into his deep brown eyes. "You're not mad I left you imprisoned for 5 hours?" she questioned.

He chuckled, "Well sleeping wasn't exactly comfortable, but the parts when you were awake were pretty amazing."

"Why didn't you wake me? I could have released you." She asked laying back down against him.

"You looked so peaceful." He admitted.

She shook her head, "You chose staying chained because you didn't want to wake me?" She asked both amused and angered.

"Truthfully, I fell asleep too. You did kinda wear me out." he finished with a grin and a kiss to the top of her head.

"Really? I wore you out? That's new." she laughed, "Usually I'm the one giving you the 'go to sleep' glare."

He pulled his still tingling arms around her and held her tight. "You weren't also hung-over the day before or had to fight demons **and** an apocalypse wielding army."

"Hey, I fought too! From a distance with a crossbow, but I was there...and it wasn't an army...only like...30 or so...or 40...I forget. I was a little busy trying to keep my husband-to-be from becoming a few inches shorter from the neck up." She defended.

"What would I do without you?" he said nuzzling her neck.

She sighed contently at his actions, "Lose you head." she mumbled.

He grinned and kept kissing her. "Can't have that."

"No, then we couldn't do this." she breathed as they kissed deeply.

Not long after, the kissing led to something less 'innocent'.

...

"We're married now" Buffy stated as they lay close together.

He made a noise of agreement.

"...and it's our first day as husband and wife."

"It is." he agreed.

"Shouldn't we do something to celebrate?" she asked turning to face him.

He raised an eyebrow, "I thought we were." he smirked.

She batted his wandering hand from her skin, "Not like that...well yes like that...but other than that. You know what I mean?"

"You want to do something special, outside the bedroom?" he questioned.

"Yes! Exactly." she agreed.

"Such as?" he asked.

She looked puzzled, "Hmm, I don't know. What time is check-out? Did we miss it?"

"Doubtful." he answered cryptically.

"Why? It can't be that early...see clock says 11:29am."

"I may have booked the room for a week."

She looked up at him a moment, then a big smile spread across her lips. "A week? As in 5 whole days to spend here...with you...alone?"

"Unless you prefer someone else." he joked back.

She bend forward and kissed his lips, "No way, ring proves it, you're mine."

"I'm yours." he agreed.

Of course her morning sickness chose that moment to flair up.

...

She jumped off the bed and fled into the bathroom, hand pressed firmly to her mouth to keep the impending projectile from blazing a trail to the toilet.

He followed a few steps behind.

Kneeling beside her, he held her hair back as she emptied what little remained in her stomach, which would have been chicken cordon blue and wedding cake.

When she finished he rubbed her back. "Are you alright?" He asked, worry thick on his tongue.

She collapsed against him after flushing the mess away, "Uhh...I hate that part."

"I'm sorry." he automatically replied, thinking it was his fault, he put her in that situation.

"Don't go have a brood fest on me now. Thankfully it only happens occasionally."

He picked her up and rested her on the sink counter.

A glass sat on the counter and he filled it with water so she could rinse the unpleasant taste from her mouth.

After she rinsed, he dabbed at her face with a cool wet facecloth.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much." She agreed, and then lifted her head to look over his shoulder. A mischievous smile spread across her lips, "I think I found something special to do."

He sent her a questioning glance and looked over his shoulder.

Against the wall was a very large Jacuzzi tub.

"I thought you said you wanted to do something special _outside_ the hotel room." He teased.

"No I said something outside the _bedroom_, this is the bathroom, it counts." She clarified.

He grinned.

...

The water was heaven. Angel closed his eyes and let the heat of the water sooth the tension from his still sore arm and shoulder muscles. The pain was nothing compared to when Cerberus's brother imprisoned him, left him hanging in a cell in a cold wet dungeon for days, this pain was nothing more than an annoyance really.

Buffy half-swam over to him and for a moment he pictured her as a mermaid. Long blond hair sticking alluringly to her wet skin, bare breast bobbing on the surface, nipples stiffened from the heat. Of course the next line would leave the lower half of her anatomy a fish...that image didn't leave much to be desired. He was more than happy with her being human.

...

"I take it you're feeling better." He told her as she floated just above his lap.

"Mmm, this is perfect." She answered as she looped an arm around his neck and pulled herself closer.

His arms reeled her in. "Almost." He said then kissed her passionately.

She giggled and kissed back with interest.

After a few minutes of kissing he broke from her lips and kissed a trail around her neck, then slowly began to kiss down her body. When he got to the waterline he vanished under.

She wondered what he was going to do when she felt his fingers and mouth pressing in places even her panties don't touch. She gasped and moaned as pleasure spread though her, sending waves of tingling from head to toe.

After a few moments, she realized he didn't seem interested in stopping. She also knew he couldn't breathe down there.

With a great deal of regret, but overpowering worry, she reached under the water and pulled him back up.

He gasped and took a few deep lungfuls of air, obviously disappointed he couldn't finish his task. "That was easier when I didn't have to breathe." He mumbled disheartened.

"Well you do now, so I would greatly appreciate if you didn't drown on our honeymoon. I hear it's bad luck in a marriage." She scolded playfully.

He grinned and resumed kissing her neck.

She noticed he always avoided the spot he bit her on her graduation day like it was poisonous. '_I'll have to ask him about that someday._'

...

Buffy began to sweat, the water was making her hot, (or was that Angel?), so she slipped from the turning water and sat on the edge of the tub, her feet resting on the submerged seat below.

He looked up at her with a smirk, drinking in her wet and naked form.

He swam up and knelled on the seat, bringing him to eye level with her. "Something wrong?" he asked, noticing she looked almost red.

"Water's a little on the warm side" she admitted.

He chuckled, "Isn't that the point?"

She nodded, "Yeah but...is it good for the baby? Somehow I think it's not."

He shook his head, "Don't know. Better safe than sorry though." He bent and kissed her slightly swollen belly.

A little growl of hunger escaped from under his lips.

Her cheeks reddened further. "Oops, I think we missed breakfast."

He chuckled, "Yeah, and lunch too by now." He turned and sat on the built in seat underwater, his back was to her but he was positioned between her legs, his head tilted back, resting in her inner thigh. He looked up at her, "Want to go out? Have dinner at one of the restaurants nearby?"

She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning her cheek against his ear, "Does that require clothing? I'm not feeling like clothes wearing Buffy right now."

He grinned, liking that idea. "We could order room service?"

Her eyes lit up and she nodded in approval, "Lets, I'm just realizing I'm starving." She sobered, "This kid must hate me right now."

"She doesn't hate you." He urged as he squeezed her foot. "I'll grab the menu..."

"No, I'll get it. You're still wet, I'm a little dryer." She said quickly and disappeared before he could argue; her naked body stole any argument.

...

He had just wrapped a towel around his waist when she walked back into the bathroom, she frowned a little when she noticed he was partly covered up, the good parts anyways. She glanced at his chest and arms and eyes, '_Well not **all** the good parts._'

She was still walking about in her birthday suit. Angel didn't seem likely to complain.

"Anything good." he asked about the food selection as he glided up beside her.

"Everything sounds good." she answered, even more hungry now she was reading each tantalizing description.

They moved to the little table and chairs set in the large bedroom, Angel sat and pulled her down into his lap so he could read the menu over her shoulder as she held it open.

"Can we just order one of each?" she asked after a moment of indecision.

He grinned, "That's a lot of food beloved."

"Yeah, well I'm pregnant and you could eat a horse."

He held her a little tighter, "Anything you want." He promised.

...

They were sitting on the bed, a luxurious tray full of food on each side of them.

They were both wrapped in soft fuzzy white robes she found hanging behind the bathroom door.

She was half in his lap as he fed her a bite from his plate.

"Mmm" she said in instant approval and took the meal off his tray, "Just so you know, your not getting this back." She told him as she dug into the dish.

He frowned a little at the thought, whatever it was, it had been good. '_Well she is carrying my child, I guess it's the least I can do.'_

He moved to another plate to sample.

They hadn't order one of everything, but they did order a lot. So far, it didn't look like anything would go to waste.

...

Some time later, the empty plates were back on the cart, the cups were liquid-less, and they were sufficiently stuffed.

"I know if you overfeed a goldfish their stomachs burst open...can that happen to people?" she asked as she lounged against her husband.

He grinned, "Not under these conditions, although it does sometimes feel like it."

"Uhh, that is an awful taste to burp up." Buffy mumbled to herself.

"What is?" he asked, knowing everything they ate had been absolutely delicious.

"That stupid prenatal vitamin, even with all this yum in my tummy, _that's_ the flavor I get to re-taste."

"I'm sure she's thankful for it." Angel insisted.

"If I didn't crush her under all that food." She retorted, absently rubbing her little baby bump.

He kiss the top of her head, "Also not possible."

"Are you sure?" she yawned, knowing it wasn't, but enjoying the little chat. She was still working on getting him talking more, with great success even.

"Yes, I'm sure."

...

They were silent for a while, both half-asleep from being full and warm and content.

As Buffy rested her eyes she wondered about something Xander had said to her not long before the wedding.

...

_"He asked you to marry him! Like man and wife, death do you part sort of thing? Man, the nerve of that guy." Xander exclaimed at the news when Buffy showed off her ring._

_"What do you mean by that?" she demanded._

_"Think about it Buffy, I'm only saying this in your best interest, but it's obvious he's only marrying you cus he knocked you up." Xander bomb-shelled._

_"Xander! How could you say that!" She yelled at him._

_"Think about it, you've been what, dating for 6 months; he never showed any signs of taking it further..." He was cut off._

_"We bought a house together, which was his idea by the way." she shot._

_"Ok, so he wanted to live with you, but take it from the word of a guy, living with a girl and marriage... two very different animals. I could handle living with Anya, but marriage...it was too much of a step. Think Buff, is it just coincidence he asked for your hand two weeks after you tell him you're carrying his kid?"_

_"It could be coincidence." she offered._

_"Or" He continued, "That traditionalist mind decided 'oh she's pregnant, I guess I'll marry her to make it right.'"_

_Her hand fell to her barely visible bump. "He wouldn't do that." She told Xander solidly. In her mind she asked_, 'Would he?'

_"Yeah, I'm sure the month long engagement means nothing. People rush marriages all the time. Completely coincidence." He said sarcastically. _

_"Coincidence." She urged with a confident voice. Inside she frowned. _'Is it?'

...

As she lay there in half-consciousness, she began to wonder about Angel's motives again. The thought had been slashed in her mind at the time, but now it was slowly festering.

She pushed sleep away and turned her head to face him. "Angel, I have a question for you...and I expect an honest answer." She proposed, wondering if this was the right time to ask this but needed to know. _'Now or never.'_

He awoke a little and furrowed his brow, "I've always given you an honest answer."

She sighed and sat up, "I know, it's just...well this is kind of a dicey question...I probably shouldn't have said anything."

"Little late for that now." he told her blandly, "What is it?"

"I've been thinking...someone I won't mention, said something to me and well...the idea's been bouncing around in my head for a while now it really needs to be addressed before it starts poking holes in my brain."

He sat up, understanding this was a serious question, leaned against the backboard and silently waited for her to continue.

"Did you...I mean I know you're a traditionalist an everything so...umm...did you only ask me to marry you because of the baby?" She almost winced as she asked.

His eyes widen as that dagger pierced his heart. He was speechless, floored by the question. After a moment he got his voice back, "God Buffy, how can you even ask me that?"

"I never planned to, I just...you asked me two weeks after you found out about the baby, and we were only engaged a month, by the way you have no idea how hard it is to plan a wedding in such short notice, and I know you like traditions..." She trailed and a few tears slipped down her cheeks. '_Damn hormones, stupid timing.'_

The anger Angel was feeling melted away at her tears. "Don't cry Beloved." he told her as he pulled her against him.

She buried her face in his chest, she would have stayed like that, but his fingers slid under her chin and tilted her head up to look at him.

"Buffy, I asked you to marry me because I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you." he said sincerely while looking into her eyes.

"So it didn't have anything to do with the baby?" she asked, just to make sure.

He sighed, "Maybe a little, but not like you were thinking." He admitted.

She looked up at him, silently telling him to continue.

"I was going to wait, ask you when I'd been mortal for a year. I didn't want to ruin our relationship by pushing too far too fast. I was also still afraid I'd revert back to what I was...and that wouldn't have been fair to you." He said truthfully.

"Yeah, because a baby won't push our relationship too far, too fast." She retorted, sarcasm her auto-reply when stressed.

"I'm sorry you felt rushed, had you told me you wanted to wait to marry until after the baby was born, or any other time you wanted, it would have been perfectly fine with me. I only asked you when I did, because I wanted you to get the change to be a wife before you were a mother. I wanted it early enough so you could walk down the aisle without it feeling like a shot-gun wedding." He admitted.

He paused a moment to let his words sink in, then continued. "You're all I ever wanted Buffy. All I want now is to make you happy. If this isn't what you want..."

She cut him off, "It is, this is exactly what I want. I secretly did want to be a wife before I became a mom, and I really did want to walk down the aisle while still being able to see my feet. You did everything right." She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him to her lips, an apology kiss.

"I'm sorry I said that to you, I had no right." She told him when they broke apart.

"No, you had every right. I'm glad you did." he said as he held her close.

She look up at him, "Really?"

"Yeah, I want you to talk to me. Tell me when something is bothering you. This way we can address the issue and move on, stronger than we were." He told her as he ran his hand over her fuzzy robe covered arm.

"Take a glimpse in our history book; we're not really great at doing that." She sighed.

He grinned, "We have a lifetime together to practice."

She liked that answer.

"I have a problem that needs addressing." She told him seriously.

"What is it?" he asked, concerned something else was bothering her.

"Well, I'm on my honeymoon, and I as of yet to wear the sexy lingerie I bought for it." She finished with a gleam of mischief in her eyes.

He blinked at her a moment, "Well that is a problem. You'll need to get that on right away." he tried to keep a straight face, but the idea of Buffy in sexy lingerie was too distracting even for someone with his strength for stoicism.

"I'll be right back then." She said while getting off the bed.

"Sure you don't need help?" he offered with a sly smirk.

"If you 'help,' I'll never get it on." she accused.

"Probably." He admitted.

"You can help take it off." She promised.

"Defiantly."

...

As he waited for Buffy to change into her outfit, he thought back to Halloween, she had dragged him to a costume party with the Scooby gang, even forced him to wear a costume, under penalty of no sex if he refused.

...

_"Are you going with me to the party?" She asked innocently._

_"Yes." he answered, voice not betraying the dread he felt welling up inside._

_"Will you dress up with me?" she probed._

_"I will." he agreed._

_"What will you go as?" she asked him._

_"Whatever you want." he answered._

_She grinned, "Good, cus I already bought you a costume."_

_"Great." he said with forced excitement._

_"Don't be such a wet blanket." she said and swatted his arm. _

_"I know, it's just...I'm not into the whole party thing. Not to mention Halloween in general." He tried for pity._

_She didn't buy it. "Your alive now, act it. Besides, I think this will be good for you, you need to experience the world outside my panties."_

_He made a face at that._

_"Don't make faces at me, you'll do fine. Stop being such a worry wart." She pulled him down and planted a kiss on his lips. "Shower, change, we're leaving at __6pm__."_

_"Yes dear." He said as thick as possible._

_He was out of reach before she could retaliate for the comment._

...

_An hour later he was standing in the living room and feeling like an idiot. He had spent the last twenty minutes telling himself he wasn't walking out the door like he was...the image shinning back in the bathroom mirror was too ridiculous to be seen in public._

'Well at least it's not something horrible like a hotdog.'_ He thought to make himself feel better. He would sooner have died, again, that wear **that** as a costume._

_As he waited for Buffy to finish getting ready, he poked into the fridge to see if there were any leftovers to scrounge. There never was._

_"Don't spoil your apatite." Her voice called from behind him._

_He turned and felt his jaw hit the floor. If his eyes hadn't been attached, they might have fallen out too._

_Buffy stood wearing a sexy Indian maiden costume. It was a short dress made of a raw-hide looking material; colorful bead work ran along the boarders of the dress and in two parallel lines down the front. The middle had a wooden bead belt and an embossed pale blue flower just under the navel. The bottom and chest of the dress and matching arm bands were fringed. A matching bead headband adorned her head, with a color matched feather. On her feet she had mid-knee length matching lace up boots._

_She held up a little, but very real, tomahawk. "How." She said in a bad Native American accent._

_After a moment of him not responding she added, "You might want to shut your mouth, I think dust is starting to build-up on your tongue." She put a finger under his chin and pushed up, closing his fallen jaw._

_"Ready to go?" She asked, trying to snap him out of his frozen state._

_"Huh, uhh...yeah." he replied dumbly, still staring at her._

_"Not very cowboy sounding." she commented._

_He glanced down at the outfit he wore again; blue jeans with fringed raw-hide looking chaps, matching fringe vest over a pale blue shirt, a red bandanna tied around his neck, a gun-belt with two toy pistols around his waist with a steer head buckle, one of his brown leather dusters, black cowboy boots on his feet and he felt the black leather cowboy hat on his head._

_"Uh, comm'on lil doggie" he tried in a bad John Wayne voice._

_She made a face, "Ok, how about neither of us does impressions." She suggested._

_"Agreed." he replied eagerly._

_..._

_They spent a few hours at the party; she danced with her friends as he watched her dance. They ate and talked, then she danced some more._

_He realized when he went to wrap his arm around her shoulder and she pushed it off and stormed back to the dance floor, that she was mad at him._

'What did I do now? Or was it a 'what I didn't do'? I came, I dressed up...what else does she want from me?'

_He watched her a moment, wondering if he should confront her about it. He noticed Oz and __Willow__ were dancing together along with Xander and his date, Buffy was alone._

'That's why she's pissed at me, I didn't want to dance.' _He felt bad, truthfully he still didn't want to dance, and he hated dancing. At least what these kids considered dancing. Back in his day dances were specific. Each beat had a certain dance move, a step, a twist, a turn...there was a pattern. Today, dancing was a vertical seizure._

_He stood and wandered over to the DJ, "Hey, I was wondering, do you have anything...slower?" he asked hopeful._

_The man turned to regard him, "What'd you have in mind? Somethin ta dance with your girl?"_

_"Yeah" Angel nodded. "She's mad I don't...dance...for these uhh...songs."_

_"Not your kinda music huh, man? What'd you prefer?" The dread-locked DJ asked._

_"Nothing you have I'm sure." He answered; thinking classical was way out of the picture here._

_"Should I be offended by that?" He asked, looking over the white boy standing in front of him with cautious eyes._

_"What? No I didn't mean that! I just prefer 'old' music; classical, slow rock from the 30's to 70's, jazz. Not exactly party music." He said quickly to alleviate a 'race' issue._

_The dark man regarded him and nodded, "Yeah, I don't bring it to gigs with me, but I do appreciate the classics. Tell you what, you can page through the book here, see if anything catches your eye."_

_He handed Angel a stapled packet of computer typed songs with artists._

_Angel nodded, "Thanks."_

_After a few a minutes of reading unfamiliar titles, one appeared he recognized. A smile graced his lips, _'That's the one.'

_..._

_When the current song ended, Buffy glanced over to the table Angel had been sitting at; she frowned when she noticed he wasn't there. She rolled her eyes, _'Probably went off to brood.'

_She turned her attention back to her friends, "Great party huh guys?"_

_Willow__ smiled back, "The best." She said to her friend as they danced. Oz was standing just to her right, stoic expression as always, but if you looked close enough, you could see a smile in his eyes. _

_The couple were dressed as __Samantha and Darrin Stephens from the 60's TV show Bewitched. They both were plain clothes, __Willow__ a light late 60's dress with a blond wig, Oz had on a period suit and tie. Every now and again __Willow__ would wiggle her nose and make something float or disappear. Oz would exclaim, "Oh Sam." _

_Xander and his date Debbie, were dressed as Superman and __Louis Lane__. After that year with the 'becoming your costume', Xander always dressed as someone with powers, just in case. _

_They were in conversation still when that song ended and another one began to play, one Buffy recognized immediately._

_"Can I have this dance." She heard a familiar voice ask. She turned to find Angel behind her, hand extended to take hers. _

_She took it and slid up against him, his arm wrapped around her waist and she laid her head against his shoulder as they began to sway. _

_"I thought you hated dancing." She asked him._

_He grinned, "Not the slow kind, I could dance like this with you all night."_

_She smiled and leaned closer to him, remembering the last time she heard this song. Prom, 1999. He showed up looking incredible in a tux, she wore a light pink prom gown. They dance to this song._

_"Wild horses couldn't drag me away." He whispered along with the song._

_Her anger was long gone. _

_…_

_When they got back to the house, they were already losing clothes by the time they reached the bedroom. _

_Before he could unzip her dress she pushed him back a little. "I've got a surprise for you." she teased._

_"Can I get it later?" He asked, trying to get to her zipper. _

_She laughed, "I think you'll want it now."_

_"What is it?" he asked. _

_"See for yourself." She said, finally allowing him to unzip her dress. _

_Once the garment fell to the floor he stopped and stared at her a moment._

_Under the Indian Maiden outfit, she had worn another Indian Maiden outfit, the later only suitable for bedroom use. _

_The barely there bra and thong set were made of fringed raw-hide…and nothing else. _

_Angel felt his pants tighten. _

_She spun, "You like?" she asking with a little added shake to get him going._

_The thin fringe swayed, her stiff nipples playing a teasing game of peak-a-boo with Angel's eyes. _

_"I like." He replied, eyes glued to her unhidden curves. _

_"Why don't you come over here and say that." She teased._

_Before she even realized he'd moved, they were laying on the bed, Angel atop her, kissing her madly. She could feel his arousal for her pressing alluringly against her from the confined of his jeans. _

'Save a horse, ride a cowboy_.' She thought as she rolled atop him._

_…_

Just then, the bathroom door opened and Angel was drawn back to the here and now by Buffy's form standing in the doorframe.

She wore a silky; tantalizingly see thought white babydoll nighty with matching thong. Her little baby bump poked out thought the split middle.

Angel swallowed the lump of desire in his throat…and it went straight down to his groin.

There was a repeat of Halloween night.

As they lay in bed after a fit of passion, she wondered, '_Why do I even buy outfits…he just rips them off me. Of course the look on his face when he sees me in them is worth the price every time.' _

…


	17. The Ups and Downs of a Pregnant Wife

The ups and downs of a pregnant wife.

Some random drabbles in December and January until I get around to posting the next real chapter.

* * *

Mid - December, 2004

Angel had decided a few months ago to reopen Angel Investigations; Buffy had send word to England that a new Slayer 'internship' program would operate though the business cover.

Those new Slayers would get real world slaying experience under the supervisor of the 'professionals'.

After proving their abilities at the Hellmouth, they would be sent to needed areas all over the world.

With a lot of help from Angel's money knowing pal David Nabbit, they got the business up and running again in only a few weeks.

Giles had suggested the entire school just be moved to the Hellmouth, it would be easier to have everyone in one spot rather than have to travel such a distance constantly.

The team all agreed and they found an old office building to convert. The bottom floor would be business related, offices for customers to meet in and a cafeteria to supply food for the building.

The basement was fitted as a training facility, complete with weight rooms and combat facilities. Weapons training and demon hunting would be taught back to back.

There was also a full functioning medical center, since almost all the people working in the building were at least partly supernatural and hospitals tended to ask too many questions when you came in with a sword wound.

The second and third floors were housing for the trainees. Dorm style rooms that were designed for comfort and durability.

The top floor held a few offices, Angel's and Buffy's as well as the research center. All their collections of books and electronics were kept in the library.

Giles, Xander, Willow, Faith and Spike all had an office to call their own if they wished. Sometimes the trainees would request one on one session with their 'teachers' just to talk and vent. Other times customers would want private meetings.

All their offices had at least a couch and a closet to store an extra set of clothes, in-case an all night research session was required.

Most of the building was still under construction and Xander was in charge of it all. Not only was he a construction manager by trade, he was also really good at his job.

* * *

Late December 12, 2004

Christmas, their first holiday as a married couple.

In all honesty, Angel hadn't had much experience with holidays over the last few hundred years.

As a man in the 1700's, he'd spend most of them getting drunk.

As a vampire, he used the cheerful times as leverage against his prey, killing and torturing until he too felt the holiday cheer.

With a soul, he spent those times in deep depressing remorse and regret.

Now as a man again, all Angel wanted was to spend time with his loved ones.

They sat on the couch together a few weeks before Christmas and talked about the occasion.

"We've been so busy with renovating Angel Investigations, we've sorta lost track of time. So what are we doing for our first Christmas? A repeat of thanksgiving but with less turkey and more presents?" she asked him with eager curiousness.

He smiled, "Our first Christmas." He repeated, enjoying the sounds of the words. "I don't know. What do you usually do? I'm a little rusty on holiday celebrations."

She leaned against him, using his shoulder as a pillow. "Same as everyone else I guess; spend way over budget on flashy gifts, eat yourself into a food coma, open said presents until you find one you like, and then try not to judge your family against what they bought you."

He grinned and nodded, "Okay, how about decorating?" he asked.

She sat up, "Oh yeah, that's what this house is missing! We're treeless, lacking a tree. Can we get a tree?"

"Of course we can." He pointed across the room to the wall of the bathroom, "We can set it up right there next to the stairs."

* * *

December 22, 2004

And that was what they did, now only two days before Christmas Eve they sat together on the couch again, finalizing their plans.

"Willow invited us over to her and Oz's house for Christmas Eve, they're going to have snacks and drinks and watch a Charlie Brown Christmas." Buffy explained to Angel.

He seemed to frown.

"Are you going all anti-social on me again? I thought we talked about that." She asked at his frown.

"It's not that." He clarified as he wrapped an arm around her baby filled waist, "I was just hoping to start a new tradition."

"What kind of tradition?" she asked before he could continue.

He grinned, "Well I was hoping Christmas Eve would be ours. Just us…and our children." He finished rubbing the spot the future Katie was kicking happily from within his wife.

Buffy smiled, at both the concept of a new tradition, and Angel's constant fascination with her belly.

"Children?" she laughed, "Getting a little ahead of yourself aren't you? We have just the one in progress; let's wait for this one to finish baking before we plan to bake more." She said in half joke. She did love this baby, completely, and could stand a few more…but not all at once.

He was silent to that, and she wondered if she gave him the wrong impression with her sarcasm.

"So x-mas eve is ours, what's the plan for Christmas day?" She asked to keep him talking.

He grinned at his tradition idea passing, "Everyone still coming here? Connor will be on school break until after New Years, Dawn too right?"

Buffy nodded, "Yeah, the gang will arrive between 11 and 12, serve dinner around 1:30?" She asked.

He nodded, "Anything's fine with me."

"Well as the cook you get to determine the eating schedule."

"Cook?" He asked a little amused at the idea.

Buffy shrugged, "You make dinner for us most nights, why not for everyone. You're actually good at it."

He snorted, "You sound surprised."

"Well based on the fact you didn't eat human food for centuries, and that little newly human food fiasco…"

He shook his head, "I'm never living that down am I?"

She grinned, "Nope. That memory is a keeper."

"What am I cooking?" he asked to get off the subject.

Buffy thought a moment on what everyone would agree on and what would be easy to cook for so many. "Lasagna?" She finally said, one of her favorite dishes.

Angel thought a moment and nodded, "I can do that."

"And meatballs, we need meatballs with lasagna…it's a tradition." She added.

He nodded, "Can do."

"And garlic bread."

He grinned, "No longer an issue."

* * *

Scrooge - December 24, 2004

There was a fire crackling in the fireplace as Buffy descended the stairs into the living room, the smell of pine was rich in the air and the decorated tree glistening in the dim light completed the picture.

She was rapidly discovering winter here was NOT winter in California, where it had only snowed the once. Outside, there was at least 8 inches on the ground, Angel was spending a great deal of the afternoon shoveling the driveway and walkway for tomorrow's company.

She had helped for a little while, but he'd made her go back inside fearing she would hurt the baby with all the movement…it also could have been her turning blue from the cold.

They had plans for a snow blower in their immediate future.

Buffy had just settled into her favorite spot on the couch when the back door in the kitchen opened and she heard Angel muttering curses under his breath as he walked towards the living room.

"You best not be tracking snow and salt onto my clean floor!" She warned, having spent her 'not shoveling time' cleaning for tomorrow's party.

He paused, grumbled more and turned back into the kitchen to remove his boots. A few minutes later he reappeared, barefoot and stripped down to his undershirt and boxers, so he wouldn't leave a trail of snow into the house.

As he passed to head upstairs, the word that popped into her mind to define his mood was growl-y.

"Hey, what's with the scowl? Did something happen?" she asked, feeling a little ignored.

"No." he muttered without slowing down.

"Angel? What's wrong?" she asked, worried. "Come sit with me." She would have gotten up and grabbed his hand before he could reach the stairs, but the blanket she was wrapped in slowed her down a lot, before she could stand, he was ascending the steps.

"Later." He muttered sounding cranky as ever, and then he was gone.

Buffy frowned and started up the stairs after him. When she reached the bedroom, she heard the shower running, figuring he was just cold and tired, she sat on the bed and waited for him to come out. If he hadn't been in such a fowl mood, she might have snuck into the shower with him, but snippy remarks didn't supply much in the romance department.

...

Ten minutes later Angel walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped tightly around his waist, he paused when he noticed Buffy staring at him. "What?" he snipped.

"I think you need to go back in the shower." She told him.

He looked confused, "Why?"

"You missed washing off the grouchy." She deadpanned.

He rolled his eye. "Buffy, I'm not really in the mood for this."

"It's Christmas Eve tonight, you know, the occasion **you** wanted to spend together; kinda hard to do if you're off in a corner being moody." She said crossing her arms across her chest.

He signed, realizing he was being an ass to her for no reason and lost some of his agitation. "Yeah, I know. Sorry. Just…not having a good day." He admitted.

She patted the spot next to her on the bed.

He walked closer but didn't sit.

"What happened?" she questioned, just now noticing him trying to hide he was limping slightly.

"Nothing." He replied too fast.

Knowing he was not going to tell her without coercion, which could take a while, she just went with her instincts and ripped the towel off him.

He tried to grab the towel back, but she was too quick. He didn't bother trying to cover up his manhood, he wasn't shy about nakedness, it was a large black and blue bruise on his butt he had been hiding.

"What happened?" she asked when she saw the bruise.

While she was gaping at the injury, he grabbed the towel back. "Fell." He muttered while re-wrapping the cloth around his waist.

"You fell? Angel, you're as hard to bruise as me, you don't just fall and get a bruise that bad.

He shifted, "I fell, honestly." He said truthfully.

"Fell from what?" she demanded, getting mad he was evading her.

He was silent a moment, then grumbled, "The roof."

They lived in a two story house, but the roof was pitch rather high.

Her eyes widened, "You fell off the roof! Angel! Why didn't you say anything? Are you ok? Wait, why where you on the roof?"

He shook his head, "I'm fine, bruised, but fine. Doesn't matter why." He told her turning away to pull some clothes out of his wardrobe.

"It does matter!" she shot back, angry at him for doing something that could have gotten him either killed or injured. She really didn't want their first holiday as a married couple to be their last…or have the memory of his death tainting the holiday forever.

"Fine." He sighed, figuring it was better to just tell her than face the wrath of pregnant wife Buffy. "I was trying to put up those stupid lights everyone else has on their houses, I slipped and fell."

She looked at him a moment than asked, "That's it?"

His brow furrowed confused and angry at that, "What do you mean 'that's it'?"

She shrugged, "Well the way you were hiding it, I thought something worse happened, like demons or something evil…not just 'whoops I slipped'."

He shook his head, "Demons would have been preferred."

"Why's that?" she asked, wondering what was going on in that head…also wonder if maybe he hit his head.

"At least I would have had an excuse if I were being attacked by something and not just being clumsy."

She laughed, finding the whole conversation ridiculous.

He practically growled in anger she was laughing at him.

"You're mad you fell off the roof?" She said still laughing, "Angel, you have no reason to be mad, I mean, I have a reason to be mad at you for being an idiot and climbing an icy roof…but that lack of common sense comes with the Y chromosome so it's not really your fault, it happens. There's no reason to get all growl-y about something so trivial." She scolded.

"I'm pushing 300 Buffy, I've fought demons and demigods and been to Hell…and I fall off my roof onto my ass…Yeah, I'm mad." He defended.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed his chin since he wouldn't bend lower. "You're only human now Angel, well human with some special features…but you _are_ human, just like me. Just because I'm a slayer doesn't mean I'm infallible, and neither are you. That doesn't make me love you less, if anything; it makes me love you more. It makes us equal."

He was silent a moment, pondering her words. Figuring she was right, he answered a minute later. "I suppose." He looked down at her, looking up at him, and brushed a lock of her long blond hair behind her ear and gave her forehead a sweet kiss.

"Did I melt that icicle of irrational anger or are you still being scrooge?" She asked him.

He grinned and shook his head, "No, I'm not angry anymore. Hard to be mad when I'm with you. I'll be cheerful enough, as long as I don't need to sit." He admitted.

"Good" she said pulling away but grabbing his hand, dragging him towards the stairs, "I'll sit while you make me a peanut butter and pickle sandwich."

He halted them at the bedroom door, "I will, just let me put on some pants first." He said indicating the towel about his waist.

"You could also forgo the pants." She suggested.

"A little cold for that." He said, indicating the house wasn't _that _warm.

"Doesn't seem to be a problem with you." She smirked.

"20 seconds tops" He told her and headed to grab some clothes.

She was still on the top steps when he slid in beside her, helping her down the stairs. With her center of gravity constantly shifting it was hard to get her balance sometimes.

Ten minutes later he was fiddling with the ornaments on the tree while she ate her hormone induced craving sandwich.

* * *

Fireworks - December 31, 2004

"It's almost time." Angel whispered into her ear.

Buffy slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him.

He was lying behind her on the couch, one arm holding her against him, the other just starting to trail down the length of her arm.

"Already?" she yawned and rolled onto her back so she could see him better, "I guess I nodded off there for a second." She admitted.

He smirked, "More like an hour."

She frowned, "Really? I guess this lack of slaying is doing some serious damage to my night-owl reputation."

He kissed her temple, "You didn't miss much, the reporters were just blabbering some useless filler until the ball dropped. You're awake for the good part."

They sat up and she focused on the TV hanging from the wall in front of them, the countdown to 2005 was about to begin.

As she sat there with Angel's arms around her, she looked down at the silver Claddagh wedding ring on her finger, and then to the swell of her abdomen. In a few weeks it would be her 24th birthday.

_'Never in my wildest dreams did I even think I'd live to see 24, never mind being married to Angel __**and**__ expecting our first child._'

She smiled. Life was finally giving her a break.

'_Oh no! Just thinking that means the house will fall down us or we're going to be attacked by aliens…or…oh…the apocalypse! I just issues in the rise of the apocalypse with my thoughts!' _

Her crazed internal rant was swept away as Angel began to count down in her ear.

10…9…

A smile crossed her lips.

8…7…

She turned to face him.

6…5…

Her hand raised and brushed his cheek.

4...3…

Said hand looped around his neck, fingers tangled in his hair.

2…1

Their lips met.

They forgot about the ball.

They didn't watch the fireworks.

They were busy making their own.

* * *

Late January 2005

Angel walked into the living room; Buffy was lounging on the couch, paging though a magazine with one hand, the other resting on her five month baby-swollen stomach. He smiled when he saw her; it wasn't a conscious reaction, just looking at her always made him happy.

He quietly walked over, and slid into the spot beside her. "Hi."

She turned and smiled at him, "Hey."

"What areyou doing?" he asked as he shifted behind her, wrapping his arms around her belly from behind.

She sighed heavily and closed the magazine in frustration."Being so incredibly bored I'm actually thinking about trying to read that book you have on the bureau." She replied sullenly.

"You don't know how to read German." He deadpanned.

She shrugged, "It might be fun trying to sound it out, or I could make up a story, kinda like watching a really crappy movie with the sound off and adding your own voice." She explained. "Oh, maybe I should try that!"

"You need a hobby." He commented.

"What I need is to _do_ something!" she exhaled, "I'm pregnant, not cripple! Between you and Giles I'm not even allowed to work out! Pregnant woman work out!"

"Not like you do." He pointed out. He rubbed his hand on her belly. "Listen Buffy, I know you're feeling confined…"

"Confined?" she said, voice growing louder as she spoke, "Confined!"

She pulled out of his grasp and stood, looking down at him sitting on the couch and pointing her hand at him in frustration, "I'm going out of my mind! I have all this energy and no way to work if off! I'm built to slay things, and you have no idea how much you're starting to look slayable right now!"

She was pacing now, desperate for any movement at all to ease the intense energy buildup in her.

He stood and tried to hold her, she moved away and yelled at him, "It's all your fault!"

He backed off, clearly hurt from her words. With a brooding grimace crossing his features, "I'm sorry." He apologized, feeling horrible for what pregnancy hormones were doing to his wife.

She sighed, "No, I'm sorry…I didn't mean that." She walked over to him and pulling him into a hug to keep him from running off to wallow in brood. "I love that there's a little part of you growing in me, it's something I never thought I'd experience, I wouldn't give it up for the world. It's just this no-slay policy mixed with psycho hormones is like a Molotov cocktail in me. I just…I need to burn off some energy…like…now."

He thought a moment, on what she could do. He couldn't let her slay, it was too risky for their baby.

His eyebrows suddenly shot up as he thought of something. A sly grin spread across his lips as he bend down and swung her up into his arms and headed for the stairs, she laughed and after a moment asked, "What are you doing?"

"You did say you needed to burn some energy…" he said is his best sexy voice.

She sent him a wild grin. "Does that count?"

"You tell me."

She thought a second and replied eagerly, "Defiantly."

She pulled his lips to hers as he kicked the bedroom door shut.

* * *

Late January 2005

Angel was asleep.

Buffy was on her side, hand propping up her head and she was just watching her husband. It had been nine months since he regained his heartbeat. Even now she still had trouble believe it.

This whole life just felt like a dream sometimes.

This wasn't something she could have dreamed up, not that this wasn't exactly what she wanted, it was, but she wouldn't have dreamed it. She didn't let herself have dreams like this; they were too painful since they never came true. The life of a slayer is what she had dreamed of, live for the day because it will most likely be your last.

No this would have to be Angel dreaming.

As she watched him, she wondered if she woke him now, if she would just vanish…if she was only here because right now he was dreaming about her, as his wife and carrying his child.

'_God, these pregnancy hormones are making me crazy!_' She thought rolling her eyes at the ridiculousness of the idea.

She shook her head to clear it of those kinda of useless thoughts and just watched him again.

He stirred in his sleep, mumbled something intelligible and seemed to be frowning. After a moment the garble became a 'no' and his brow wrinkled in discomfort.

_'He's having a nightmare again_.' She thought sadly.

She remembered he got them a lot during their first month together; he tried to deny it, or told her he didn't remember them, but she knew. She also knew how to stop it.

A few seconds after the nightmare started, Buffy slipped against him and rested her head on his chest.

The action was simple but effective. With her touch his fearful expression calmed, his mind eased as the nightmare dissipated. A moment later, he was sleeping peacefully again.

_'Like magic._' She thought with a smile. She loved that her touch alone was so powerful on him.

As she lay there she thought back to those first few months, how he reacted to becoming human again, it was interesting to say the least.

_'He may be over 250 years old, but when it came to being human, he might as well have been 2. That first week at the Hyperion had been a riot. When the 'we can have sex!' had worn off (well, subsided a tiny little bit) and he really started to explore his new humanity. I'm really surprised (and thankful) he didn't have a heart attack that first week._

_He had been crazy about food, almost obsessively. He wanted to try everything…like at once. He found out the hard way some flavors just don't mix; like beer and chocolate, that horrible peanut butter, ketchup, mayo and mustard sandwich, or coco puffs with OJ. I didn't let him go near the fridge alone for a week after that. _

_The funniest thing was whenever he passed a mirror or reflective surface he'd virtually jump out of his skin. I guess I really can't blame the guy; he didn't have a reflection for two and a half centuries. I suppose that would make it easy to forget you're looking at yourself, and not someone else, if you couldn't see what you look like for so long. _

_I swear, he stood in front of the mirror for hours, everyday! I'm surprised his hair didn't fall out considering how often he tried to 'fix' it. I had to coax him away from his reflection with either food or sex. Occasionally both. _

_The other comically ridiculous reaction had to be sunlight. I lost count of the number of times he auto-reflexed back from the rays that spilled from the windows in the morning out of subconscious fear of burning, it always took him a second to remember he was human now. _

_He'd only dove off the bed the once, and boy was that fun to watch. There's nothing like seeing a fully grown (and naked at the time) man dive off a bed while running in mortal fear from absolutely nothing. _

_He hadn't been thrilled at how hard I was laughing. Of course, he had then yanked the sheet I was doubled over on off the bed, taking me with it. At least I landed on him instead of the floor. We stayed there a while, there is actually a lot of useful space down there. _

_He's better now. Not 100% yet, but getting there. He can be left alone with food now and be trusted not to make himself sick with overeating or horrible combinations. Actually, he a really good cook, when you supply him with the ingredients and he doesn't add his own 'flavors'. _

_The bathroom time has decreased substantially, but I know he's just standing in there sometimes, making faces at the mirror. _

_He still does a 'safely test' when he walks into the sun. He thinks I don't notice when he puts his hand out into the light first, just to make sure he doesn't burn. _

_I guess it's kinda like when you're stuck in the clear glass-walled 'fun house' in an amusement park. (Why is it called a fun house anyways, does anyone actually find being lost and confused fun?) You keep your hand held out in front of you so you don't flatten your nose on the invisible wall. _

_Or if you're me, just look for the smudges floating in air where the previous 'losers' ran their faces into them first. Hey, being a Slayer isn't always about super abilities, sometime a little common sense is worth more than strength or speed or healing. It's especially helpful if you can avoid needing the super healing in the first place. _

_So I guess Angel's little quirks are a good thing, lets me know he hasn't lost his sense of self-preservation. He needs all he can get, especially if I'm carrying his kid. _

_I will not raise a fatherless child. I think he's finally getting that picture. I say it to him enough, usually as I'm bandaging his wounds._

_ I feel bad thinking it, but sometime I do wonder if he hasn't taken a few too many blows to the head. I know he's being careful; he wants to see this baby born as much as I do (well since he's not carrying it inside him 24/7, I can guess not __**as**__ much as me). _

_Something tells me he's awakened. That something would be his hand, and exactly where it is and what its doing is none or your business. _

_I suppose I'll indulge him, he did buy me a stunningly beautiful pair of Claddagh earrings for my birthday. Not to mention these prego hormones are driving my libido like a rented Ferrari.'_

* * *

Early February, 2005

"You don't love me anymore."

That was Buffy's voice, but I have no idea what she's talking about.

"Huh?" I ask, waking up from partial sleep. "What do you mean by that? Of course I still love you. Why would you even think that?"

'_Note to self, watch what you say, her hormones might slay you if you don't' _

"We haven't had sex in over a week." She mumbled it so quietly I almost don't hear her.

"I…I thought you didn't want to, you've been really tired lately." I offer carefully.

"I have been." She countered, "What, I can't be both tired **and** horny?"

_'Just try to keep your head above water'_

"I'm sorry, if you want sex…"

I reach my hand out to her, so I can bring her closer. She slaps it away.

_'Ow, man that stings.'_

"So what, now I get sympathy sex? I don't think so pal!" she spits out.

_'I'm drowning again, not sure how I even got in the water, but I'm sinking fast.'_

"Buffy, I don't know what you want from me." Honesty might work.

_'Oh shit, now she's crying.'_

"I want you to love me again." She balls.

_'Do I reach out to her? Do I say something? Do they have a 'Pregnant wife, for dummies' book?'_

"I never stopped, I swear." I say this and moved to hug her to me.

_'Oh thank god she didn't blow. Now I know how the Bomb squad feels when they about to cut the red wire.' _

"Shh, don't cry my love." I kiss the top of her head. When she doesn't hit me, I kiss her again on her forehead, and then move to kiss the tears from her cheeks.

Her lips find mine before I can get to them, then I find myself on my back, Buffy straddling my waist.

_'I seemed to have been pulled from the water.'_

Her hands are all over me, every switch of desires for her is being flipped to 'on'. I desperately want to flip her over and bury myself in her as far as I can go…further even, but I know she's not comfortable on her back anymore. Six months of baby in her belly makes missionary a distant memory. Not that I mind where she is right now, sex and Buffy, it's always perfect.

"Oh" she gasps and grabs my hand, pressing it firmly on her tummy. "She's moving! Kicking like crazy, can you feel it?" she asked in joy and eagerness.

I smile, awed whenever I feel the little kicks. "She's dancing."

It almost makes me forget the painful arousal Buffy's erected in me.

"I love you" she says and leans down to kiss me again as I rub the flicking spot on her belly.

"I love you." I repeat to her, my entire body wanting to show her how much, in actions instead of words.

I feel Buffy's fingers pulling at the strings of my sweatpants. I have never hated a string before; I want to rip the stubborn tie to shreds at the moment for causing her delay.

Right before she pulls me free, her hand hesitates then pulls back, moving to the spot on her belly that our child is kicking steadily.

"I can't" she says with apologetic eyes and pulls back, quickly getting off me and rolling over with her back to me.

'_Oh my god I want to scream.'_

"Buffy?" I ask, taking a second to try and cool my heated loins, without much luck by the way. "What's wrong? Are you ok?" I ask, concerned there is something wrong with the baby.

"She's moving." Buffy says simply, as if that could explain anything.

"She's always moving, that's what she does in there…she doesn't get cable." I joke.

I can feel her frowning. Joke flopped.

She turns over and looks at me, "I know, it's just…she's right there. We can't…I can't…not right now. I'm sorry."

'_Ship is sinking again. As the captain, I guess I'm going down with it._'

I nod, swallow my anger, mostly over my painful arousal. "I understand." That's what I say at least, I really don't. Seems like the most evil thing she can do to me right now, get me so hard it feels like I'll break then cast me aside like a used condom…without the benefit of the sex part…

I push myself up, slowly and painful out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked almost afraid.

"Shower…cold, cold shower." I mutter, hoping the icy water will help ease my throbbing groin.

She seems to notice now why I'm stiff in moving.

Before I can move away from the bed, her hand locks onto my wrist and before I know it she's pulled me down onto the bed again.

"Don't" she whispers then resumes kissing me.

'_I feel like a damn yo-yo. Well at least the yo-yo gets to go for a spin…_'

"This isn't going to make that go away." I tell her, indicating my arousal.

"I don't want it to." She retorts.

I could ask why, but she's kissing down my neck, to my collarbone. God I love when she kisses there…and she's moving lower, to my left nipple now…I think she's trying to get to me to lose myself in my pants…I hate to admit it's tempting.

I'm about to stop her, to tell her if we can't…then she REALLY needs to cease and desist, right now! I don't get as far as opening my mouth when she slips beneath the sheets.

I'm intrigued now.

She's kissing again, along my abs, following down my happy trail…

_'oh god!' _

I'm not really sure when my sweats were pulled down, all I'm aware of is Buffy's mouth around me; her hot succulent lips, her talented wandering tongue, the light nip of teeth every now and again. Her soft warm hands; gripping and teasing, stroking along my length, gently squeezing my family-making jewels.

My eyes roll back in my head as I feel her working her magic, I'm sure I moan, but my thoughts just aren't coherent enough at the moment to be sure. It isn't long before she releases me into her awaiting mouth. I feel her swallow me down, lick me clean.

"Better?" she asked me as she lays atop my chest, as much as she can with her baby belly anyways.

I take a moment to regain coherent thought then answer, "Much" I admit.

The anger and frustration, worry and guilt are all gone, now…just peace. I didn't realize how tightly wound I was until she pulled my trigger.

"Funny, sex used to be my downfall, now it's lack of sex." I observe.

"Can't go a week without your Buffy fix huh?" She asks with a grin.

"You've spoiled me, now I'd addicted." I tell her, and place a kiss on her brow.

"Great" she says playfully rolling her eyes, "My husband's a sex junkie."

I laugh, Buffy always gave me a natural high, never could figure out just exactly it was about her. Her scent? Taste? Blood? Power? Still don't know, don't really care either. I love her completely, that's all that matters.

She cuddles closer to me and I run my fingers along her hairline, brushing back a few unruly blond strands. "Only with you."

She smiles; I feel it against my chest.

I can tell she's not aroused anymore; her pregnancy is funny that way. One minute she's all hot and steaming, the next she's an iceberg.

_'Let's hope I don't turn into Titanic._'

A few minutes later I realize she's fallen asleep. I grin, I love when she falls asleep on my chest. I kiss her crown, and then close my eyes to join her.

_'I've survived another storm; it'll be smooth sailing this evening.'_


	18. Labor of Love

Labor of Love – May 09, 2005

* * *

A very pregnant Buffy huffed in frustration.

She had been looking for the last jar of peanut butter for at least half an hour. "I know you're in here!" she yelled at the cupboard. "Why do you hate me so much?"

Finally she spotted it, on the top shelf, well above her reach.

"Damn" she cursed and looked around for something to use to knock down the elusive jar. She went into the living room and pulled an iron poker from the stand beside the fireplace. "Here I come peanut butter" she whispered to herself.

A few minutes later she was two fingers deep into the jar, happily indulging her craving. "Mmmm, next time I see Angel, I'm beating him over the head for putting you up so high." She said to the crunchy peanut butter jar.

_'Creek._'

Her attention snapped to a sound coming from the living room.

"Hello? Angel?" she called out, "Is that you?" she asked wondering if he was back yet.

Her gooey snack forgotten she instinctively grabbed the poker she had used to knock down the jar and The Slayer headed to investigate. She looked around the house but found nothing and sensed no one in the house.

_'Must have been the wind'_ she figured and headed back into the kitchen.

She was about to dive into the jar again when the noise repeated.

"That's it" she grumbled and waddled back into the living room. She searched the entire house, up and down, but found nothing.

_'These pregnancy hormones must be driving me crazy_' she thought, heading to the fireplace to put the poker back so she could relax on the couch.

Something touched her swollen waist.

The Slayer spun; iron poker flying forwards connecting with something solid.

…

Angel came home and saw Buffy by the fireplace, he wanted to surprise her so he quietly walked up, intending to wrap his arms around her in a gentle hug. To say the least, he did surprise her.

Buffy dropped the iron poker in horror when she realized Angel was lying bleeding in an unconscious heap five feet away.

"ANGEL!" she shrieked, hurrying as fast as she could to her motionless husband.

"O god, O god, O god" she repeated as she check for a pulse. Finding his pulse steady and strong, she half carried, half dragged him onto the couch, and then hurried into the kitchen for the first aid kit and some ice.

When she got back, she pillowed his head onto her lap and treated the gash the poker left on his forehead. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry honey" she repeated to her unconscious husband as she held the bag of ice against the swelling bump.

...

"Ow" he moaned almost half an hour later, as he slowly regained consciousness.

"Angel? Are you Ok? Please be Ok." Buffy begged as he forced his unfocused eyes open. Looking down into his unevenly dilated pupils she could tell he had a decent concussion, _'Damn it'_ she cried in her head. She patted his cheek, "Angel, please answer me."

He focused on her, "Buffy?" he croaked. His gaze looked her up and down, not remembering what happened and afraid whatever got him could have hurt her too.

"Oh Angel, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean, you came up, the peanut butter, there was a noise, I'm so sorry." She ranted.

"Slow down…Buffy" he said slowly, "What hit me?" he asked.

"Me" she cried remorsefully, "Well actually the fire poker…but I was holding it".

He placed an unsteady hand against her cheek, "Shh" he said as he rubbed his thumb against her cheek, "Don't cry Buffy."

She covered his hand with hers, dried her tears and told him about the elusive jar, the noise and how she whacked him.

"I'm sorry" she repeated again when she was done.

"I'm ok" he said as he tried to sit up. A second later he decided sitting up as a very stupid idea as nausea and pain descended on him. "Uhh…or not" he whispered, staying where he was.

Buffy looked terrified as he slumped back down into her lap.

"I'll be ok" he amended, "Just gunna rest…for a minute." He said as he drifted back to sleep.

She sat there with his head in her lap, gently running her fingers threw his hair and applying ice to the swelling bump.

...

Buffy had been watching him sleep for almost an hour, and worry for her human husband began to grow, he should be awake by now.

The gash had already closed, leaving only a red line to indicate where it had been, and the swelling had gone away.

She wished she could see his face better, but her swollen stomach extended into her line of sight.

As if on queue, Angel shifted in his sleep, and mumbled something she couldn't understand, his head snuggling further into her lap against her belly.

"Angel?" she called. Hopeful he was conscious and not still concussed.

"Hmm?" he mumbled. A moment later she felt his hand rubbing her stomach, she smiled and placed her hand over his.

"I can't wait to meet you" he whispered to their baby, and gave her belly a kiss.

"Ow" he yelped as he jumped back, sitting up and holding his nose.

"What happened?" Buffy asked confused.

He looked at her a moment then down at her stomach, then he laughed sarcastically. "Our daughter just kicked me in the face."

Buffy looked shocked a moment then burst out laughing. She had felt the rather strong kick.

"Both my girls are conspiring against me…" he said shaking his head and rubbing his nose.

"We are not" she firmly rejected, while she wrapped her arms around him, pulling his close. "You just have a severe case of wrong place, wrong time today." She insisted, and then placed a kiss on his forehead and on his nose. "Better?" she asked.

"Much" he replied, adding a kiss of his own.

...

A few minutes into their make-up session Buffy pulled away groaning.

"What's wrong?" he asked concerned.

She grumbled, "Stupid tiny bladder…"

He laughed and helped her to her feet.

"Keep my spot warm and I'll come back with a surprise for you" she whispered sweetly.

"Yeah, a nine iron?" he joked.

She frowned.

He quickly stood and kissed her an apology.

He sat back on the couch and waited patently.

...

A few long minutes later he heard Buffy shuffling back into the living room, "Close your eyes" she said in a sweet voice.

_'Not exactly the words I needed to hear today'_ he thought, remembering Acathla.

He helped Buffy back down onto the couch, grinning as she sat across his lap.

"Can I open them?" he asked.

"Not yet" she answered.

He heard her pull the top off the ice cream container, and the sound the spoon made as it scooped up the ice cream. He felt the cold spoon on his lips, he opened them to let it in.

He chuckled as she spoon fed him ice cream. "Can I open them yet?" he begged. He felt one of her arms snake around his neck, the other cupped his cheek, a second later her lips where against his.

"Do you really need to?" she asked in between passionate kisses.

He grinned against her lips, "Not really."

She pressed closer to him, as close as her nine-month swollen belly would allow. The hand cupping his cheek moved to caress his hair.

"Angel?" she asked a few minutes later.

"What ever it is…it can wait till tomorrow" he answered, lips working tirelessly.

They were locked in a passionate kiss when they both felt something warm spread between them; it took them a minute to realize it wasn't desire.

"Oops…I think my water just broke" she groaned sheepishly.

"Oh" he looked dejected at ending their quality time together, then her words sunk in, he looked up at her, eye growing wide with understanding, "Oh!"

She couldn't help but laugh at his panic, always the cool and collected one, tearing threw the house like it was on fire.

She managed to grab him as he rushed by again, in a calm and collected voice she spoke, "I have a red duffle in the closet, my address book is in my dresser, the camera is in your sock drawer and you should really change your pants" she said the last part with a laugh, noticing the spot where her water broke made it look like he wet himself. She pulled him into a calming kiss, and sent him on his way.

…

Buffy hated hospitals…with a passion. The idea to have the baby at the office hadn't really been a conscious one, it just was. The doctors at Angel Investigations knew what Buffy and Angel were, how their bodies weren't exactly 'normal', and they were better equipped to handle the situation. The entire medical wing had been designed solely for slayers after-all.

Once Buffy's water broke her body immediately began to go into labor. They barely made it to the office and into the medical center before her contractions were only minutes apart. Apparently slayers had quick labors, how inconvenient would it be for a slayer to be in labor for 27 hours?

"Well Buffy, shouldn't be long now. It seems you're almost fully dilated." The doctor checked over the file sheet and turned his gaze back to her. "You say your water broke less than 30 minutes ago?"

Buffy nodded, her hand tightly squeezing Angel's as another contraction struck.

"Huh, interesting. You must have been in labor for hours without even noticing." He told her.

"Noticing now." She said through clenched teeth.

"Yes, I can see. Do you want any medications for the pain?" He asked

The offer was extremely tempting, but Buffy shook her head no. "I'll pass, made it this far without it." She also had a slight fear of what the slayer strength meds would do to her baby.

The doctor nodded and went to wash up for delivery.

She looked over at Angel who was almost ghost white as he sat on the chair beside the bed. "Are you ok?" she asked him.

He looked over at her and shook his head, "I should be asking you that."

"I'm pretty sure I'm not the one looking like Casper right now. Are you going to faint?" She asked hoping for a truthful answer and not some 'oh don't worry I'm fine' crap.

"No, I won't faint. I just…I hate seeing you in pain." He told her honestly.

"Well it's for a good cause right?" Another contraction took her mind away for a moment.

"Holy crap…worst pain ever." She mumbled to herself.

Angel paled a little further when he heard her.

She noticed his silent brooding. "Hey, none of that." She said pulling on his hand so he would sit beside her on the bed.

"We're supposed to…" She paused as another painful contraction struck. After a moment she continued, "supposed to celebrate, no brooding allowed."

He nodded and kissed the top of her head, his arms wrapped around her shoulders as he held her though the pain. "I know, I'll celebrate…after."

She understood what he meant. No one knew exactly what to except upon delivery, would the baby have super powers like her parents or be completely human? Half-vampire? A slayer? It was anyone's guess. Well at least for a few more minutes.

"No matter what, she'll be perfect." Buffy told him.

He nodded, "She will."

The doctor came back into the room and settled in the low chair between the stirrups.

"Ok, you're ready to go on this end. Let's get that little lady out here shall we."

"Please" Buffy agreed.

The nurses agreed they were all set to receive the baby.

"Ok Buffy" the doctor told her, "Push."

The moment of truth, when her life would change forever. The thought was terrifying, yet welcoming. She wanted to see her little passenger, for nine months she carried her, fed her, protected her, felt her kicking from the inside; it was eviction time.

She pushed, and god did it hurt. Slayer pain tolerance be damned. It wasn't enough to make her scream, but she did think about it. The only reason she didn't was she knew Angel would freak.

…

Angel watched Buffy's face in silent terror. The pain he saw there scared him more than he thought possible.

He felt pain too, Buffy's hand was gripping his again, he was fairly certain his hand was broken from the intense pressure. He silently endured it, figuring it was nothing compared to what she was going though.

He was torn, he wanted to stay with her, but he also wanted to watch what was happening beneath the sheet covering her spread legs.

The traditionalist side of him didn't even think he should be in the room, for hundreds of years a midwife delivered the babies as men paced holes in the floors outside the bedroom. That was just how it was done.

The husband part knew he wasn't going to leave her to suffer in pain alone. No way was that happening.

The father part really wanted to watch their child enter the world, but he didn't dare let go of her hand. Technically he couldn't even if he wanted to, but that was beside the point.

The doctor was saying encouraging words, while the nurses watched for their opening. "She's crowning" he added a moment later.

Angel took his free unbroken hand and rubbed Buffy's back, "Breath love." He whispered into her ear.

"One more push and she's be out." The doctor's voice called from his position.

That was the encouragement Buffy needed to hear, she took a deep breath and pushed again.

"And she's out." The doctor cheered as he held the pink little form. A moment later, Katie's first cry echoed in the room.

Angel hugged Buffy as tears of joy ran down their faces, "You did perfect love."

She nodded, "God was that hard. I feel like I've had my lungs in a vise for months."

"Would you like to cut the cord?" the doctor asked Angel. He looked terrified a moment then Buffy shoved him towards the doctor, "Don't be a baby."

'_Man slices demons in half like he's cutting paper and he panics at cutting a little cord.' She thought amused.  
_

He took the offered scissors and was about to cut, "Will this hurt her?" he asked, worried his first act as her father would be to cause his daughter pain.

"Not at all." The doctor replied and Angel snipped the attachment.

As he looked down at the tiny pink wrinkled form he instantly lost his heart.

Before he could say anything the nurse swept the baby from the doctor and brought her to the scale and changing table. Angel followed close behind.

The nurse felt him standing just behind her, and was a little intimidated to say the least. "Uhh, sir. She's perfectly fine; I'll bring her right over when I've cleaned her up and got her dressed.

Angel didn't budge.

The nurse sighed and worked quickly. Once the baby was weighted, diapered and dressed in a light pink body suit with matching hat and socks she swaddled her up in a matching blanket.

In a near desperate desire to get the man standing behind her away, she turned and placed his child in his arms. "There you go, all set." '_Please go away now._' She thought.

He smiled down the the little bundled and moved back to the bed. Buffy was just finishing delivering the afterbirth and getting cleaned up when he sat on the bed next to her. "Look what I've got."

She turned and nearly melted, "Ohh, Gimmy!" she said excitedly and held out her hands.

He almost refused, not wanting to part with the tiny bundle in his arms.

She sent him a 'give me my baby or there will be blood' glare.

He conceded and handed over their child.

"Oh my god, oh my god! She's perfect." Buffy said looking down at her daughter. "Look what we did!" she said turned to Angel. He grinned and slid into the bed beside her. "I saw."

They just sat there for a few minutes, just watching their daughter as she slept. Both had smiles of perfect contentment on their faces.

The doctor gave them a few minutes before he suggested they move to a private room and out of the operating room.

Angel went to make the calls to tell everyone the news, they really didn't have time before since labor and delivery happened within an hour.

Buffy was brought into a room where a nurse showed her how to feed Katie.

Angel walked into the room as the nurse was showing Buffy how to get Katie to accept her nipple.

His cheeks reddened and was about to go back out into the hall when Buffy's voice stopped him dead in his tracks. "Get you butt over here and into this chair."

He did as asked, trying to avert his eyes for politeness. He wasn't shy, he knew Buffy's body better than his own, but this was a new concept for him. Actuallyy he felt irrational for thinking it, but the fact some woman was touching his wife's breasts sort of made him jealous.

"You best be paying attention to this, I may need help doing this at home." Buffy told him when she noticed he was purposefully looking away.

"Uhh, right. Sorry." He apologized and sat closer to observe and learn.

...

When the nurse was gone and the proud new parents were alone, Angel sat next to Buffy in the bed and continued to just watch their little miracle.

It wasn't long before there was a knock on the door from eager family waiting to see the new addition.

Angel reluctantly got up and went to greet the guests. He opened the door and slipped out, closing it behind him. Blocking the group from entering.

Giles was the first to face him, excitement and a shade of worry on his face. "I believe congratulation are in order, yes? How is she? Are they ok? They are ok, right?" he finished, noticing how Angel wasn't letting anyone in the room.

Angel smiled, "Everything is fine, she's perfect."

"She? So it really is a she! What's her name?" Willow asked.

"I'll let Buffy tell you." He said vaguely. "Try not to make a lot of noise, the baby is sleeping, ok?"

Giles, Willow and Xander nodded yes. The others would wait until the happy family was at home before they visited.

Connor and Dawn were at school and would come home over the weekend to meet the new arrival.

Angel opened the door and allowed the eager guests to pass.

Willow practically ran up to Buffy, "Oh she's so adorable!" The red head almost danced as she looked at the baby.

"Thank you." Buffy replied, pulling the blanket down and removing the tiny pink hat so the group could see the brown locks on her little head.

"Check it out, Buff's a mom." Xander said as he stood near the bed.

"She is amazing Buffy." Giles told his daughter of the heart, instantly smitten by his adopted grand-daughter. "You did a wonderful job."

"We." Buffy clarified, holding out her hand for Angel to join her back on the bed. She didn't want him to feel left out and start brooding.

He slid in beside her, and looked down at her and his child, a smile on his lips.

"Yes, you both did a wonderful job." Giles amended.

"She looks just like her daddy." Buffy said, looking first to her husband then to the others. "She had his hair, his eyes, his nose, his cheeks...OK she has his everything. I gave birth to mini female Angel."

The proud dad chuckled, "Are you mad she didn't take after you?" He asked.

"No, she's perfect." Buffy told the baby in her arms.

"What's her name?" Willow repeated.

"Katherine Joyce Summers" Buffy told them, "After Angel's little sister and well, my mom. We're going to call her Katie for short."

"Oh so you kept that, that's nice!" Willow said, remembering they talked names during the van ride home when they learned of Buffy's pregnancy.

"Yeah, we liked it." Buffy replied, brushing a little lock of brown from her daughters head.

Angel put the hat back on to keep her from catching a chill.

Buffy yawned.

The three instantly took the hint.

"Oh, you must be exhausted Buffy, we'll come see you once you are home." Giles said.

"We can have a 'Welcome baby' Party!" Willow chipped in.

Xander was surprisingly silent.

"We'll see." Angel told them.

The three filed out and Angel turned to take the baby from Buffy.

"Not sharing." she said possessively.

"I thought you were tied?" He asked.

"Nah, I just wanted some alone time with my husband and our daughter. Does that make me evil?" She asked.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead, "No, it makes you extremely smart."

They sat together for the next hour, unwrapping Katie from her blanket and just looking her over. Counting her tiny fingers and toes, feeling her baby soft skin and enjoying smelling her new baby smell, at least until she needed a diaper change.

Buffy handed her over to her father. "Time to go see Daddy." Buffy said sweetly.

"Thanks." Angel deadpanned and went to change her.

"Hey, tell daddy he has more diaper changing experience." She countered.

"Tell mommy that means she needs to play catch-up." He said to Katie.

Buffy continued to play along.

"Well mommy's all stiff and sore from pushing out a watermelon."

As he changed the diaper he countered, "Yeah, well daddy has a broken hand from mommy squeezing it so hard."

"I did not!" Buffy denied.

Angel slid back into bed with a freshly cleaned baby.

"It's better now." he lied. His hand still hurt, but he could move it at least.

"I really broke it?" she asked, shocked.

"Not on purpose." He told her.

She took Katie and laid the baby on her lap, then took his hand in hers. She could see the red marks.

"Oh Angel, I'm so sorry." She apologized.

"It's ok. I'm sure it's nothing compared to what you were feeling." He said as he pulled hand hand back from her and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

She snugged against him, her back pressing against his chest.

She picked his hand up again and kissed it.

"I'm still sorry." she told him.

Katie fussed and Buffy picked her up and swaddled her into her arms. Angel wrapped his arms around Buffy's.

"Shh, Katie, it's ok. We're here." she said rocking the little girl back to sleep. "We'll always be here."

* * *

Epilogue: May 11, 2004

A baby's cry filled the silence of the night. Buffy groaned as she slid off Angel's chest.

"I'll go. It's my turn." Angel said quickly, getting up and placing a quick kiss on her forehead.

"It's was your turn the last three times" She said sleepily.

He grinned, "I know. I don't mind. Part-time creature of the night here."

She smiled into her pillow and thought '_I have the best husband ever'_ as she fell back to sleep.

...

An hour later Buffy awoke, her body rejected sleeping without her lover lying next to her. Wondering why he wasn't back yet, she rolled out of bed, donned her robe, and headed to investigate.

Buffy descended the stairs, eyes immediately focusing on Angel lying asleep on the couch, their newborn daughter curled up on his naked chest, secured between his arms.

She glided over, standing off to the side and just watching them sleep, tears of joy shown in her eyes.

"She might look like me, but she's just like her mom" Angel said softly, opening his eyes and looking at Buffy.

"O yeah?" she asked as she walked over, replacing the pillow Angel had been using with her lap.

"Always falls asleep on my chest." He said with a smile.

She laughed quietly, running her fingers threw his hair and watching their daughter as she sucked an invisible bottle.

"She drools like you too." He teased.

"Hey!" Buffy yelled in a hushed tone, mock offended, lightly smacking his shoulder.

He bit back a laugh, not wanting to wake the baby.

They sat there in comfortable silence for a while, just watching their daughter.

Buffy reached her hand out, caressing the sleeping baby. "She's so perfect" she whispered, voice chocked full of motherly pride.

"She is" he responded with equal fatherly pride.

He glanced up at Buffy, eyes big and round like a kid in a candy store, "We can have more...right?"

She laughed, "What am I? A vending machine?"

He looked dejected for a moment, then she rubbed his cheek, "I'll give you as many as you can stand."

He beamed at her, "That many?"He asked, eyes full of mischief.

"You must secretly like me fat" she shook her head, thinking how huge she was that last few months.

He looked at her astounded, "When have you even been fat?"

She raised her eyebrow at him, "Uhh, where have you been the last three months."

"With my amazingly beautiful pregnant wife, who glowed like a goddess as she carried my child?" he seduced.

She blinked at him a moment, then beamed "Ok, I knew there was a reason I kept you around."

Lying there with his girls was the happiest moment he'd had yet, and as Buffy bent down to kiss him, he thought '_Heaven can't hold a candle to this_.'

...

There is no such thing as 'Happily Ever After', but they got awfully close.

THE END?

* * *

This was originally the end...but I added lots more after. They will be up...eventually.


	19. And Baby Makes Four

And Baby makes Three - May 26, 2004

Buffy was exhausted, and cranky…and smelled like baby spit up.

The two week old fussing in her arms was the love of her life….but she seriously needed a few minutes of Buffy-time, not to mention a desperate need for a shower.

She knew the second she put Katie in the bassinet she would start screaming.

Katie had a strange habit of sleeping peacefully at night, between feedings and diaper changes, but only if she was being held.

Put her down for even a second, and all she did was scream.

Buffy walked into the living room and found her solution lying on the couch, sound asleep.

Angel didn't sleep much at night, not that he ever slept great at night (Due to a balance between Buffy's needs and his vampire essence). Now he spent a majority of his nights holding Katie to keep her calm, or retrieving her for Buffy to breastfeed, or changing her so Buffy could sleep.

_'I don't think I would have been able to make it past the first 4 hours of the breastfeeding idea if not for his help and encouragement…of course he could only be pro-breast since it keeps them swollen…_' she shook her head, '_Nah. Even so…does it matter?_'

She walked over to the couch and watched Angel sleeping for a moment.

She felt a pang of guilt, and then got a whiff of her Spit-up perfume, the pang vanished.

She gently plopped Katie stomach down onto Angel's chest.

"Have a nice nap with Daddy" she said as she quickly kissed them both and vanished for the bathroom.

He woke and shifted, arms wrapping protectively around her, so she wouldn't roll off him.

"Hey Katie" he spoke, still only half awake, "Shh, no crying." He said patting her back, a few seconds later she settled down, fussing and pouting on hold as she fell asleep to his heartbeat.

"That's my girl." He whispered as he dosed off.

- Later that night -

Angel was sleeping peacefully.

Buffy forced him to go to bed early, he needed it having spent most of his nights over the last two weeks holding Katie.

The miracle of Katie sleeping without one of them holding her was relief beyond belief.

Angel's suggestion of using a recording of a heartbeat worked blissfully.

The bassinet was still in the bedroom, but was slowly being moved further away, letting both baby and parents get used to the idea of Katie actually sleeping in the nursery.

Buffy slid under the covers and for the first time in two weeks, actually had a few minutes to think.

She looked over at Angel and smiled.

'_He's so sexy when he's asleep…and awake…and fighting…and eating…ok he's always sexy. Especially when he does that little smile when we…Oh-My-God!…we haven't had sex in two weeks!…we're already old!'_ she frowned.

Now that they were finally both in bed at once, her passion kicked on and she reached her hand out and drew a line down from his solid chest to his wonderfully defined abs.

The one thing she could defiantly say about him was he kept in great shape, what she didn't know, was _how_ he managed to while eating the way he did.

_'It's just not natural how someone can eat that much chocolate and still have abs like this.'_

Admiring his delicious body was making her hungry, and not for food.

She bit her lower lip and inched closer; deepening the line she was drawing, circling around his navel.

She had expected him to awaken, and when he didn't, she deflated.

_'I should let him sleep; he's been hovering over Katie day and night since she was born. I can't really blame him though; Connor was stolen from him.'_

However watching him sleep was pulling at her own needs at the moment.

_'I'm sure he won't mind waking up, he's always saying he wants to make me happy…him being awake will make me happy. Logical enough for me.'_

She thought a moment a nice way to wake him, then smirked, she knew plan B would work.

Slowly she traced the line from his navel and extended it under the covers, and slipped a warm hand into his sweatpants and gently began to message him.

He moaned in his sleep and shifted, his body reacting to her touch.

"Buffy" he mumbled, still asleep.

A shot of excitement shot threw her as she heard him whisper her name in his sleep.

_'He better say my name, anything less and he'll be one hurting eunuch._'

Without slowing her gentle stroking in his pants, she leaned over and drew her lips against his, licking and sucking at them.

A moment later his mouth began to respond to hers, his breathing increasing as he woke, and his arousal waking as well.

He moaned into her mouth as she increased her hand movements, she would have continued if his hand hasn't tightened over her wrist, stopping her and drawing her fingers out of his undergarments.

She looked down at him and frowned, sad and confused as to why he stopped her.

"You don't want to?" she asked hurt.

He looked at her, the little pout on her lips both saddened him…and aroused him.

"I do but…" He glanced over across the room to the bassinet, "Katie's right there" he said looking embarrassed.

She smirked, "Think about how close she was a few weeks ago…didn't stop you then." She countered, referring to the fact their daughter was inside her, only inches away when they last made love.

Realization flickered across his gaze, "Huh…true…"

She reached for his pants again, a second time he gripped her wrist halting her.

She looked at him again, "Now what? We haven't had sex in two weeks…getting some serious withdrawals here" she grumbled, slightly angry. No one gets in the way of a horny Slayer, including a sexy husband.

He grinned at her, "Yeah, I know the feeling…but the doctor told us to wait six weeks…to let your body heal."

She shook her head. "Hello, Slayer here. I was healed before I left the hospital." She said blankly.

"Really?" he said with a lusty grin.

"Ah huh." she answered moving closer.

"Are you sure?" he asked seriously.

She pressed her lips to his, after a moment she pulled back enough to allow for speech, "Sex now, talk later" she practically demanded as she moved onto him.

He didn't object again.

* * *

~~~~~~~~~Two weeks later~~~~~~~~~

Buffy awoke to an empty bed, the same as the last week.

They had recently put Katie in the crib in the nursery for the night and despite there being a baby monitor and both of them having excellent hearing, Angel still hovered next to the crib a night.

Buffy sighed, _'This has gone on long enough...yeah his scary over-protectiveness was sort of cute the first tow days...but now it's just getting creepy. I need to talk to him...now.'_

She tossed the covers off and grabbed her robe off the chair.

A moment later she was sneaking into the nursery across the hall, and as expected, Angel was sitting in the chair beside the crib.

_'He's keeping guard.' _She realized.

He looked up when she walked in, frowned when he saw the look of annoyance in her eyes and the cross of her arms across her chest.

Subtlety not being her strong suit, she walked up and quietly demanded, "She's fine Angel, come back to bed and stop being such a prophet of doom all the time. There is no reason to worry so much..." She sat down on across his lap, "You're going to give yourself a heart attack, and just so you know...you can actually get one of those now."

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, eyes never leaving the crib. "I know...it's just..." He trailed off.

"Just what?" she probed softly.

"I lost Connor." He whispered, "I can't lose another."

"You got Connor back, remember that huge college tuition bill we get monthly?" She tried to pull him out of his painful past.

"I know, but...in some ways...he's still lost. I never got back his childhood. Never got to raise him. That part of Connor is gone forever."

She rested her head on his shoulder, "You won't lose her Angel. I won't let anything happen to her, neither will you."

He remained still a moment, just watching his daughter sleeping in the crib.

"No one will take her..." Buffy emphasized, "Willow spelled the whole room, nothing can open the windows or doors besides us. Unless they rip out a wall...but we won't need a walkie to hear that... and we're on the second floor so they'd have to be really tall demons..." She shook out the random ideas of doom from her head, "Look you're worrying is contagious, stop before we both die of anxiety, she's safe."

Angel nodded, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right, I'm Buffy." She replied with a smirk.

He chuckled, "Oh really now?"

"If you say one more word, I'm making you sleep on the couch." She threatened.

He shook his head, chuckling at her.

"Are you coming back to bed?" She asked.

He nodded, playing along to not saying another word.

"Good, I need someone to warm my toes on." She said, kissed his nose, then disappeared back to the bedroom.

He grinned then looked back at the crib, he almost felt like sitting back down and resuming his sentry, but instead he leaned down and as lightly as possible, kissed the little forehead. "Goodnight sweetheart." After a moment he added, "Nothing will ever hurt you, not while you're mother and I still draw breath." He promised.

After one last look, he joined his wife in bed.

His last thought before sleep took him was, '_Damn her toes are cold._'

* * *

Whoops... - July 7, 2004

~~~~~~~~~About 4 weeks later~~~~~~~~~

Angel slipped into bed after an eventful week… another a long and tiring week of raising a baby.

But it was a wonderful kind of tired. The kind he never thought he'd get after Connor was taken.

He wrapped an arm around Buffy's waist and pulled her sleeping form against him, she sighed contently in sleep as her body nestled along his.

His head hit the pillow and he shut his eyes.

Just when he was about to drift off, a strange sound filtered though his mind. He listened intently, it sounded familiar but he couldn't place where or when he last heard the sound last.

Then he remembered.

A heartbeat…a super fast newly beating heartbeat.

It was the most wonderful and equally the scariest sound he had ever heard.

'_Buffy's pregnant again?_ _Oh crap. She's going to kill me.' _

It was no secret to anyone that Buffy had been more than ready to have her own body back to herself again. Not that she didn't love Katie to death, but she wasn't planning on having another baby anytime soon.

'_I don't understand, we've used protection everytime! She can't be…oh shit._'

He remembered the first time they made love after Katie was born; they hadn't remembered to use a condom.

Neither thought anything of it later, figuring she wouldn't have been able to conceive again that early.

'_So much for that idea._'

He didn't want to wake her, but this was important. He figured better he tell her than she realize it herself.

"Buffy?" he whispered into her ear, hoping to wake her slowly, wouldn't help much to get her mad at him before the news.

He slid his hand along her arm and repeated her name, gently shaking her.

She grumbled something and slowly opened her eyes. "This had better be important" she yawned "I was having a really nice dream."

She took one look into his worried eyes and knew something was wrong.

She sat up, "What? What's wrong?" she said looking towards the door, worried something was wrong with their daughter.

"Nothing" he said quickly to keep her from panicking needlessly. "Nothing bad." He clarified a second later.

"Than what?" she asked suspicious.

"Well it might be bad…depending on how you feel." He argued to himself.

"Angel?" she questioned.

"Although you did sort of say you weren't ready yet…" he continued mumbling.

"Angel!" she said rather loud as he argued with himself over her reaction.

He looked at her, his brown eyes focusing on her hazel green ones.

"Spill" she demanded.

He looked down, wondering how to tell her. "Ahh…well…umm…" He shifted a bit, "Do you still have those prenatal vitamins?" he asked.

She looked at him funny, "Ah, yeah….why?" she asked suspicious.

"Well you might want to start taking them again…" he said seriously.

Her eyes narrowed, "And why would I decide to do that?" she asked not really needing to.

He looked back at her and she knew.

"Oh god! I'm pregnant? Again!" she panicked.

She got out of bed and nearly ran into the bathroom.

He followed her but the bathroom door slammed in his face.

He rubbed his flattened nose as he reached for the knob and found it locked. "Buffy?" she said knocking on the door. "Buffy are you ok?"

No answer.

He knocked harder, "Buffy!" he said louder.

"I can pee on a stick without help Angel." Her annoyed reply came though the wooden door.

His cheeks reddened and he walked back over to the bed and sat down.

'_She hates me._'

...

Ten minutes later the door opened and Buffy walked back into the bedroom, a pregnancy test in her hand.

He couldn't read the expression on her face.

"You had one?" he asked, referring to the test.

"What sexually active woman doesn't?" she retorted as she plopped down onto the edge of the bed. She was looking down at it; he couldn't see the display from where he sat.

"So?" he asked, wondering it if read positive or negative.

She haphazardly tossed it to him; he caught it and looked down at it, puzzled.

"Ahh?…what?…Do they make one in English?" He said confused looking at it from all angles, no idea how to read the little lines.

She sighed and shook her head, rolled her eyes for good measure, half amused by his clueless-ness, half annoyed at life in general.

She scooted over beside him and pointed to the thin line next to a thick line, "The thin one shows if you're pregnant."

He looked down at the visible thin line, his heart beat just a bit faster.

_'I already knew she was pregnant, I mean I can _hear_ the heartbeat. But still…wow._'

He looked up at her; he momentarily forgot to hide his grin.

Her stoic expression reminded him and he removed the grin from his lips before she decided to remove it with a fist.

"Your not happy about this." It wasn't a question, more an observation.

She shrugged, "No?…yes?…maybe?….I don't know yet. I'm not unhappy about it…not thrilled about the timing. Angel, we have a two month old! We can't have another baby right now!" she said getting up and pacing. "I mean we barely get enough sleep as it is, and think about diaper costs, and formula, I can barely keep up feeding one baby, my breasts can't handle two!" she ranted.

He could feel her growing anxiety and quickly got up and hugged her, trying to sooth her. "Buffy calm down. No one said anything about right now. We have eight months to worry about that."

He lured her back to the bed and sat her down beside him; he ran his hand over her back in slow soothing circles.

She took a deep breath; "Yeah…eight months…" she cringed, thinking she would get stretch marks for sure this time.

She leaned against his chest and laid her head on his shoulder.

"How did you know?" she asked a moment later, curious as to how he would know before her.

He shrugged, "I can…hear its heartbeat." He said timidly.

"Oh yeah…right." she said remembering he could do that.

"I'm sorry." He automatically apologized.

"For what? Knocking me up…again?" she asked, eyes gazing off.

"I don't know. For putting you in a hard situation?" he asked.

She didn't say anything, just sat against him, her focus zoned out at the far wall.

After a few minutes of silence he spoke, "If…if it's too soon. If you're not ready…I'd understand if you…don't want to…keep it."

She replied by punching him in the chest…hard.

"Ow!" he said withdrawing his other arm from around her and rubbing the soon-to-be bruise, checking for rib damage.

"Don't be an idiot" she said bluntly.

He looked at her confused.

She leaned against him again and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Of course we're going to keep it…it's ours. That's never going to even be an option."

He felt a wave of relief wash over him, he wouldn't have thought she would be willing to abort, but the fear had been there nevertheless.

He wrapped his arms back around her, "So does this mean you're happy about it?" he fished.

She shook her head, "I'm not going to answer that yet. I'm taking a vacation from being decision girl for the rest of the night."

He nodded, understand she needed some time.

They got back into bed, it being early in the night they still had a good change at a decent night's rest.

Right when he was about to nod off, Buffy's voice roused him. "Angel?"

He shifted, "Hmm?" he hummed.

"Just so you know…" she said sleepily, "If you ever get me pregnant with one still in diapers again…I've giving you an at home vasectomy."

He was instantly awake, praying to any god or spirit that would listen that she was making a very unfunny joke.

He was silent a moment, than asked seriously, "Do you…want me to get one?" He wasn't thrilled about the idea, heck he had already been sterile for centuries, but he would go through with it if she asked him to.

'_Love makes you do the wacky'_ he remembered hearing years ago.

She rolled over and glared at him, "Don't go getting any not-so-bright ideas…just keep my warning in mind."she threatened.

He nodded, "Ok, ok, no decisions being made without direct Buffy input, I got that one down."

She nodded then rested her head on his shoulder, she yawned. "Ok, good. Now go to sleep."

He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes.

'_Is she mad at me or not?_" He wondered.

After a moment he gave up thinking about it, in the silence he focused on the rapid little heartbeat.

The darkness of the night hid his smile, but it was there, soon after, he fell asleep to the wonderful sound.

_Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump..._

...


	20. Cars & Hockey & Heartbeats Oh, my!

Some various drabbles...I swear...I am working on fixing up the next real story. It's already written, just needs some adjustments.

* * *

SUV - July 10, 2005

Beep, beep.

Buffy looked up from sharpening her stake when she heard a horn sounding like it came from the driveway.

She put the stake and knife down on the coffee table and glanced over at three month old Katie as she napped in her playpen.

Peering out the window she saw a sleek looking SUV parked in the driveway next to Angel's GTO.

"Who the heck…?" she wondered.

The door opened and Angel stepped out, waving at her to come outside.

"Oh I'm so killing daddy." She said under her breath as she picked Katie up and went out the door to meet her husband in the yard.

"I know." Angel said the second he saw the look of anger flashing in Buffy's eyes. "We agreed to make decisions together, but I wanted to surprise you with something…and I know you've wanted me to get a more family friendly car…so I got this."

"How did you pay for this?" She asked bluntly, "We don't actually have real jobs you know…and lets not forget the whole 'I'm pregnant' thing…"

"Funny story, I'll get the car seat and I'll tell you during the test drive, Ok?" He asked.

She glared a moment then agreed, heading to grab the baby bag and lock the door while he took the car seat out of the GTO and installed it into the new truck.

...

Ten minutes later they were rolling down the street.

"So what's this funny story?" she asked, trying to hide the fact she really liked this truck.

"Well, I was at the office, and this cop comes in with a stack of case files. Turns out he had contact with Kate Lockley, the cop in L.A I told you about…" He said to ask if she remembered her.

"Yeah, Ok." She said to keep him going.

"Well Kate informed Jack Harlow, the cop in my office, how we handle the less 'neat' cases and he wants to hire us as consultants."

"Consultants?" she asked.

"Yeah, all the case they can't explain, they have us look into. Mostly the demon related ones, maybe a few paranormal. The partnership would be beneficial both ways, they get higher case closure and we get a steady paycheck."

"Who gets paid, us or Angel Investigations?" she asked for clarification.

"The business get the money, we need to keep the girls fed and the bills paid. But as owners we do get a small percentage."

"Can't be that small if you bought a car…" she deadpanned.

"No, not enough to buy a car."

"Well?" she asked.

"This was my first case."

"This truck?"

"Yeah."

"And there is an explanation right?" She asked after a moment of silence.

He chuckled, "Well it used to be possessed."

Suddenly she didn't like the car so much, "Possessed?" She asked looking around and back at Katie in the back seat.

"Not anymore, I fixed it."

"How?" she asked, not sure she was ready to relax yet.

"It was a demon spirit, but Giles and I lured it out, one of the more experienced Slayers at work killed it. No big."

She frowned, "I miss all the good stuff…" she pouted.

"Well, we could switch off." He offered.

"Huh?"

"You go be the big boss at work, and I'll stay home with Katie."

"Can't" she denied.

"Why not?"

"And what were you planning to do when she got hungry?"

"Oh, right." He realized, no Buffy meant no breast milk.

"Why don't we just bring her to work?" He asked a moment later.

"Come again?"

"Well we do own the company, and it's completely safe. One of us can stay with her in our office, trade daughter duty in shifts thought-out the day?" He proposed.

She thought it over for a few minutes, "Could work."

"We can give it a try now."

She looked up and realized he was parking at Angel Investigations Inc.

"Angel." She cautioned.

"Come on Buffy, you can't lie about it. I know you love our daughter, but staying home is slowly driving you mad. You do remember the little stress relieving Slay-a-thon you went on after Katie was born? When you were last pregnant I went a little overboard in protecting you from everything outside the house, but I know now too much down-time for you is dangerous, your body is not really designed to be a housewife. The girls here need some better trainers and I think the job would be good for you. I don't mean I want you fighting or doing anything overly strenuous in your condition, but you do need some exercise."

"Are you calling me fat?" She snapped.

His eyes widened, "What? No…I…I'm just saying…"

She leaned over and kissed him to stop the guilty rambling, "I'm just kidding. I get what you're saying and I appreciate the gesture."

"You're saying no?" he asked.

"Hell no! I'm saying have fun with Katie, I'll meet you in the office around 4pm for her feeding, Bye." She kissed him goodbye and took off for the building.

"Ok…That went well…"

Just then Katie began to cry.

Angel quickly got out of the drivers side and unbuckled Katie's car seat from the back, "Come on honey, let go see daddy office."

...

Hockey - July 11, 2005

Angel was sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the TV on the wall across from him.

"No! Are you blind! It was right by your foot!"

Buffy wandered into the room and spotted Angel yelling at the TV.

"What did the TV do?" she asked confused.

"No, the goalie missed the puck! Idiot let the other team score!"

"Who are you rooting for?" she asked, sliding into the seat next to him.

"Philadelphia Flyers"

"Are they good?"

He turned to her and she suddenly found herself buried under an avalanche of the history of Hockey and why the Flyers were the best. She zones off after the "Are you kidding…?"

Thankfully a roar from the TV drew his attention again and she snuggled up beside him.

After a few more shouts at the TV she took the remove away from him, "You're going to break it." She scolded when she saw the cracks.

"I hate when my team's loosing." He sulked.

"Well then you won't mind if I change it, there is this lifetime movie coming on about a runaway and how she reconciles with her estranged father." She said changing the channel.

Angel gave her a devastated look, "But…the…I…"

She stared at him, like she was saying, '_Go ahead, try and take the remote back from your pregnant wife and the mother of your daughter. I dare you._'

He sighed and deflated, "Fine." He mumbled, looking miserable.

She grinned at the victory, and then changed the station back to the Hockey game.

After a second he noticed the game was back on, "What about your movie?" he asked confused.

"There is no movie." She told him.

"What?"

"I was testing you."

"Testing me? For what?"

She shrugged, "I read an article in a magazine, it said if your man really loves you, he'll give up the remote for you."

He looked down at her, "Seriously?" He asked. "I've risked my very life and soul for you…and you need to test my love based on if I'll give you the remote?" He asked astounded.

"You almost didn't" She countered.

"If my team was winning I might not have…" He joked.

"Hey!" she swatted at him.

After a moment his attention was drawn back to the screen and she snuggled against his chest, content to just be sitting with him. Katie was napping again and she was happy to just be motionless for a while after running around with the 'newbie' slayers all morning.

As she watched Angel scowl at the screen she remembered back to the first time she caught him watching hockey.

...

_"Angel where does the…" Buffy paused in her question when she entered the living room and saw Angel watching sports._

_"You watch sports?" She asked, coming up in front of him._

_He bent to the side to see around her since she blocked his view of the TV._

_She pouted, "Now I'm too fat to see around?" and turned to have a pregnancy induced depression session. _

_Angel seemed to realized he'd somehow hurt her feelings while barely aware of anything outside the TV, but quickly grabbed his wife's wrist and pulled her down into his lap. _

_"Hey, what's wrong? Did I do something?" He asked, holding her against him. _

_"You had to lean to see around me…" she mumbled. _

_"I'm sorry, I didn't even notice." He admitted. _

_"What are you watching anyways?" She questioned._

_"Hockey."_

_"You watch hockey?"_

_He chuckled, "Yeah, why?"_

_"When did this start?"_

_"A few years ago, figured I needed a hobby." _

_"Why hockey?" She asked, curious. _

_"Well not only is it a great sport, but most the games are indoors, and they usually play at night; which may not be important now, but before when daylight posed an issue..."_

_Buffy nodded, "Yeah, I see what you mean. Kinda hard to see an outdoor game without high chances of combustibility."_

_She looked up at him but his eyes were back to the screen. _

_For a moment she was mad he was distracted from her, usually it was hard to get his eyes off her, but at the same time, having him be so completely normal was extremely adorable. _

_She kissed his cheek. _

_He didn't look away from the TV, but his arms tightened over her, his hand running over her budding second trimester belly. _

_...  
_

Heartbeat - July 12, 2005

"Hey, Doc?" Buffy called, poking her head into the Angel Investigations medical lab.

Dr. Cassidy looked up from her paperwork, "Buffy? What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" She asked, knowing Buffy hated the medical wing and was very unlikely to just wander by for fun.

"Yeah, I'm good. Angel and Katie are good too." Buffy said coming further into the room.

"That's…good." The young doctor agreed, then asked suspiciously, "So what are you here then?"

"Oh, yeah, about that…well…I was wondering of you might want to…do an ultrasound?" she said the last word quickly.

"Ultrasound? For what? Are you experiencing any discomfort?" Cassidy asked, concerned her recent patient may not have healed as well from giving birth as she had believed.

"No." Buffy said quickly, "No pain…not for another seven months anyways…"

"Seven months? Please don't tell me what I think you're saying…" The doctor asked.

Buffy shrugged.

The doctor sighed heavily, "Alright Buffy, you know the drill, lay flat on your back and I'll bring the imager over and see what's cooking."

Buffy hopped up on the exam table, lifted her shirt up and pushed her pant seam down to expose her mid-drift.

Dr. Cassidy wheeled over the ultrasound machine and picked up the tube of gel.

"This may be cold" she warned before squeezing a decent portion onto Buffy's belly.

"Oh, I hate that part…you say _may_ be cold when you should say _will_ be freezing."

The doctor shook her head and placed the probe against the gelled skin. After a moment of searching the screen she stopped over a pulsing image.

"Yup, that's a baby all right. Looks to be around 8-10 weeks."

Buffy forgot any remarks and just stared at the little heartbeat. She already loved it completely. "Oh, I forgot how incredible that was." She said softly as she watched her baby's heart beating within her.

"Buffy, I thought I told you to wait at least six weeks before resuming normal relations." Her doctor scolded.

"You have seen my husband, right?" Buffy shot back, looking now at her annoyed doc.

"That's no excuse."

"You try laying next to tall, dark and gorgeous every night and just fall asleep…scratch that, don't lay next to him at night, go find your own, he's mine."

"I don't think you need to worry about that." Dr. Cassidy reassured.

"Why's that?" Buffy questioned.

"I don't think Angel even registers other females when you're around…or even when you're not." She confessed.

"Really?" Buffy asked, a bit of pride seeped in, knowing he had eyes only for her.

"Defiantly." Cassidy agreed.

A minute later there was a gentle knock on the door follow by Angel voice on the other side, "Ahh, Doc? Is Buffy down here?"

"Come on in Angel." The doctor called and Angel opened the door and found his wife laying on the exam table.

She reached her hand out, "Come here! Lookie!"

Angel walked over and Dr. Cassidy repositioned the probe so he could watch the little heartbeat.

He smiled, "Wow." He mumbled while watching the screen.

"Now you can see what you've been hearing." Buffy said to him.

"Yeah, it's amazing." He said, sitting on the exam table beside her.

She rested her head on his thigh and he ran a hand though her hair.

They could watch that little heartbeat forever.

...


	21. Pirates and Presents

October 21, 2005

"Ohmigod!" Buffy exclaimed as she rushed into the living room and plopped into the seat beside Angel. "Isn't this the cutest thing you've ever seen!" Buffy asked excitedly as she held up a page from a magazine.

He looked at the page, raised an eyebrow. "You want to buy that?" He questioned.

"Why not? Katie would look so adorable in it!" She said, imagining her daughter dressed up in the little parrot costume she had showed Angel. "And we can be pirates!" she offered, "We'd all match!"

"Pirates?" He questioned.

"Are you going to turn into Mr. Grumpy pants again?" She accused.

"No" He sighed, "It's just…when did you get so enthused about Halloween?"

"Well…since I had someone to dress up it with…and now that I have a daughter to dress up and bring trick or treating…" She justified.

He shrugged, "Whatever you want." He relented.

"Thanks..." She said sarcastically.

"What?" he asked, knowing her tone indicated she was mad at him.

"You." She indicated.

"Me? Me what?" He asked confused.

"You make me make all the decisions!" She expressed, "You just say 'Whatever you want' and that's it! Marriage is a two way street you know…some feedback every once in awhile would be nice."

He opened his mouth to argue back, then closed it.

"My point exactly" she said rolling her eyes and heading back into the kitchen where Katie was smearing mashed carrots into her highchair table.

He sighed, '_Is she mad just because of pregnancy hormones? Or is me being agreeable an actual problem for her?'_ he wondered.

He put the book he had been reading on the coffee table and stood.

Following her into the kitchen he couldn't help but stop and smile at Katie rubbing the baby food into her hair.

"You have a camera?" he asked.

Buffy turned from the sink and laughed when she noticed what he was looking at.

"No, it's upstairs." She sighed, realizing she didn't have it nearly.

"That's ok, I'll draw it later." He said, removing the messy bowl from his daughters reaching fingers. "You can be pumpkin head for Halloween." He said picking the orange colored six month old.

In response, she stuck her sticky fingers into his mouth.

"Uhh…thanks." He mumbled, then play biting her fingers.

Buffy shook her head, smiling as she did.

"When I come back down with something more closely resembling our daughter, we're going shopping." He told Buffy.

She raised an eyebrow, not used to him tell her things so directly.

"Are we?" she countered.

"Yeah. Dressing Katie in cute little costumes sounds like fun." He said, smiling to the squirming baby in his arms.

"Will we buy pirate costumes?" She fished.

Katie squirmed more, and began protesting being carried when there was perfectly good floor to be crawling around and creating mischief on.

"We'll figure it out at the store, I don't put her down soon…we'll have a meltdown of Katie proportions." He said quickly.

She understood that well enough and he went to wash up the baby.

...

Thirty minutes, and a lot of angry baby yelling later, Angel reappeared, a little tousled.

Katie was spotlessly clean, dressed and happily crawling independently behind him.

"Meltdown?" she asked, seeing the different colored shirt he wore and disheveled appearance.

"Meltdown.' He agreed, ears still ringing from the vocal assault. "I think I still have water up my nose." He grumbled, reaching for a tissue to try and blow it out.

She nodded, knowing full well that if Katie didn't want to do something (like a bath)…she fought...and she fought hard.

She wasn't super-powered like her parents, but being their daughter gave her one hell of an advantage, especially over them.

"You still up for shopping." She asked.

"After all the work cleaning her up?" He questioned, "She's getting a costume." He stated.

Buffy grinned and dragged Angel down so she could kiss his cheek.

…

After spending what felt like hours and trying on what had to have been a hundred outfits…even Angel agreed the parrot was the cutest.

…

Of course then she dragged him to the adult costumes.

As Katie was content to chew her stuffed pig in the carriage, Angel took advantage of watching Buffy try on various outfits.

"How about this one?" He asked, handing her a package.

She looked down at it, "Naughty nurse?" She questioned with fake annoyance.

He looked back with pleading eyes.

"No." She stated, in a tone that said, not-happening, don't-even-argue.

Secretly she knew she was going to buy that one, just not for Halloween use.

She found a pirate outfit she liked and was thrilled when she tried it on, it would actually accommodate her nearly six month baby belly.

Her next trail would be getting Angel to pick out an outfit.

She found a few she liked, two out of three he downright refused to even try on.

After a brief bickering session, he tried on the third choice.

_'I love how I can still threaten him with 'no sex' if he doesn't do what I say._' She thought giddily. _'Even though it would actually hurt me more…since being pregnant tends to drive my sex-drive up the wall…hopefully he never figures that out.'_

She peeked inside the dressing room and had to laugh at him.

He obviously had no idea how to put the costume on.

After spending a few minutes untangling him, she stood back and looked over the finished product. "I think it's a keeper."

"Do you now?" He asked, coming closer.

"Oh yeah." She smirked.

He grabbed her butt, "Arr, surrender the bootie." He said in an awful pirate voice.

She playfully slapped his hand away.

"Or perhaps I'll plunder the chest." He said, grabbing at her breasts.

"Wait until be buy it." She laughed, secretly loving it when his rare playful streak comes out to play.

…

When they finished picking out accessories, they headed for the checkout.

"Why don't you take Katie to the toy store, she's getting restless and there's a line." Buffy suggested, mostly so Angel wouldn't see her buy the nurse outfit he'd wanted her to try on.

None the wiser he wheeled the baby carriage off towards the toy store.

…

October 31, 2005

When Halloween rolled around they went trick or treating for the first time. Pirate Angel held a parrot dressed Katie perched up on his shoulder for a good chunk of the night, the six month old really enjoying the bird's eye view of the world.

Buffy really enjoyed holding the candy bag.

…

Since Katie was too little for the treats they had acquired, Buffy and Angel felt no guilt in finishing off any and all chocolate before the night was up.

...

* * *

December 4, 2005 – One Year Anniversary

Buffy felt Angel's finger glide over her shoulder, heard the slight rumble in his chest as he chuckled.

"What's so funny?" She yawned, slowly waking.

"You're drooling worse than Katie right now." He said to her, still laughing.

She opened her eyes and reached for her mouth, sure enough it was wet.

"Oops" she said embarrassed, wiping the saliva with a corner of the sheet she was wrapped in.

He simply chuckled again.

She leaned back down, running her fingers over his muscular torso, "Not my fault you're so sexy and drool worthy." She told him, admiring what he had to offer.

He leaned down and kissed her brow, "You're chest is pretty drool worthy too." He said sneaking a finger under the sheet and caressing a nipple.

She looked up and found a bouquet of red roses in his other hand.

"Happy Anniversary." He whispered.

After a second she realized the roses looked funny. She took one and saw they were made of paper.

"Paper?" she asked confused, "They run out of real ones at the store?"

He chuckled, "The traditional gift for the first anniversary is paper." He told her.

"Paper? Really? Oh, I umm…I knew that." She covered.

"Sure you did." He said kissing her again.

She smiled into the kiss, "One year today." She said softly back to him, running her fingers along his well defined cheeks.

"Seems like only yesterday." He replied.

She leaned heavily against him, snuggling back into his arms. "At our wedding, I had this crazy idea that I would be skinny by now." She said, running her hand over her nearly seven month baby belly, their second child taking over her body at an alarming rate.

"You're perfect." He told her, running his fingers over her belly.

"Are you just saying that so we'll make love now?" She half-joked.

"No." He said honestly, brushing a stray blond hair behind her ear, "Although I was kinda hoping that would be a given…it is our anniversary." He suggested.

She shrugged, "I don't know…depends." She taunted him.

"On what?" he asked humored.

"On what you got me." She teased.

"I got you roses." He defended, pointing to the flowers laying on the sheet beside them.

"And?" she probed.

"Does there have to be more?" he questioned.

"Maybe." She teased again, reading him like an open book.

"Ok, ok" he relented, leaning over he opened his nightstand drawer and pulled out a piece of paper rolled up and wrapped with a little red ribbon.

"A diploma?" She questioned when he handed it to her.

"Just open it." He grinned.

She pulled the ribbon and the paper unfolded, revealing a hand drawn portrait of them on their wedding day, her favorite shot.

"Oh Angel, it's beautiful." She said, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

He accepted the kiss eagerly.

A moment later Buffy pulled back, "Ok, now my gift to you."

"I thought I was getting my gift." he said, pulling her back towards him.

"Sex isn't a present; you get that all the time." She expressed.

"I'm not fussy." he said huskily into her ear.

She grinned but pulled away, "Two seconds." She told him as she rolled out of bed and went into her closet to fish out the present.

He watched her with a hungry grin, she wore a nearly see though pair of panties and nothing else.

When she returned to the bed, she slipped under the covers and he pulled her closer again, placing a kiss on her neck…and not stopping.

"Hey, gift first!" She laughed and thrust a small wrapped box into his hand.

He took the box and opened it quickly so he could resume his last task.

He pulled out a nice watch, actually liking the sleek black and silver design.

"The_ modern _first year anniversary gift is a clock," She explained, "but I figured this was more appropriate. I know your last watch kinda got smashed when that demon tossed you threw that wall…so it's no too fancy…since really nice things tend to be wasted on us…you know, with the trend of them getting ruined by fighting demons…"

"It's perfect beloved, thank you." He said, honestly loving it.

She picked up the drawing he'd given her a few minutes earlier, "I want to hang this over the fireplace, get a really nice silver frame…"

She was distracted by him kissing her shoulder blade from behind.

"Later." He mumbled.

She pushed the picture and the paper roses onto her nightstand, getting them out of the way and to keep them from being crushed.

"Don't forget, we need to pull the cake out of the freezer this morning if we want it thawed enough to eat tonight."

"Later" he repeated, continuing to kiss around her neck.

She grinned, knowing she had such power over him was pumping her full of excitement.

She turned and captured his lips, easily pushing him down and straddling his waist.

He offered no resistance.

...

Finally, an actual story will be posted next.


	22. Changes In Me, Part 1 - Souless

December 12, 2005

...

Buffy and Angel were sitting on their couch, Angel was watching a hockey game while Buffy scanned the pages of a fashion magazine.

Their seven month old daughter Katie was napping in her playpen.

That kid could sleep through anything…even the wall suddenly blowing in and a large group of soldiers flooding the large room.

Angel had jumped to his feet in an instant, knocking the first armored guard into oblivion before the entire wall had settled into a heap of debris on the floor. He would have taken out more, but a rush of energy hit him, freezing him in place.

Buffy was a little slower in joining the fray, her baby belly at seven months, she found moving anywhere fast a near impossibility. It didn't stop her from flinging her glass of water at the closest goon, knocking him unconscious and cutting his face when the glass shattered.

Before she could reach for the sword hidden under the couch, she found herself caught in the same magical grip as Angel.

…

Angel was frozen, he tried to move, but his body wouldn't respond to any of his commands. He managed to strain his eyes far enough to see Buffy, she was frozen too and looking as pissed as a pregnant slayer could get (which was pretty scary as he knew).

"Who the hell are you?" Angel demanded to the obvious leader of the attack, a short demonic looking humanoid with an incredibly arrogant personality, a sorcerer to boot. The only thing keeping Angel from panicking was being super pissed at being held prisoner in his own home and being terrified for his family.

The demon frowned, "You murder by brother and tried to kill me. I break into your home, hold you and you whore hostage, and you have the audacity to not even know who I am! Think back to October 22, 2004. You were jumped, beaten and strung up in my dungeon. You spent two days hanging from my chains, being beaten by my men."

"Cerberus's brother." Angel realized. It was escaping from his castle that he was shot and nearly died in the back of Oz's van.

"Cerberus's brother…No longer because of you and your bitch." The demonic man shot, spitting in Angel's face. "I have a name you know, it's Graegus. You killed my only family; it would bring me great pleasure to do the same for you. However I'm here for another reason, an old friend of yours recently helped me out. You see, I spent over a year buried under the debris from my castle, and now my new partners have promised me revenge…as long as I do one simple little thing for them first."

"What would that be?" Angel questioned, he figured as long as he kept the bastard talking, he wasn't actively a threat to Buffy or Katie.

"I have a proposition for you" the short bald man said to him.

"Not interested" Angel shot through gritted teeth.

The man smiled, yellowed fangs glistened in the light, "I wasn't talking to you."

Angel felt his heart skip a few beats. '_Something tells me I'm not going to like this'_

A moment later, Graegus pulled an old withered volume from the folds of his robe, raised it to his eyes, and began to chant.

The words seeming to float off the page and swirl in the air around Angel.

_'What the hell?_' Angel thought, then pain ripped into his chest.

The spell keeping him immobile didn't keep him standing as the pain knocked his legs from under him.

As he collapsed to the floor, he gasped in agony, his mind screamed, _'NO!'_ He knew this pain, a pain he never thought he would have to feel again, now that his curse no longer existed.

He was wrong.

The words that floated in air tore into Angel's body, he screamed Buffy's name as the words exited him, dragging his soul with them.

They swirled in air for a moment, then the sorcerer raised a glass jar, a Muo-Ping, the words carried the soul into the container, then they disappeared, leaving an orange swirl of color dancing within the glass vessel.

...

Angelus slowly rose to his feet, his head still pounding from the pain of his soul being torn out, a pang of bitterness wafted on his tongue, then that too was gone.

Yellow eyes fell upon Graegus, "Thanks, could've gone without the headache though. You mentioned something about a proposition?"

Graegus's smile revealed sharpened teeth, "I did." He said as he walked around Angelus, looking the demon over, perhaps sizing him up.

Angelus silently did the same. "Well?" the vampire asked after a moment of silence, "You gunna talk or what?"

The sorcerer stood and faced the demon, "Wolfram & Hart sent me." He paused to let Angelus react to the statement, he didn't so he continued. "They wish to use your…services…to eliminate a potential risk to their greater plans. They believe you will be very interested in the offer and in exchange, they are willing to give you a most generous payment." He finished by folding his hands in front of him.

"Are you gunna get to the point sometime this decade? Getting bored, leads to getting hungry." Angelus glared licking his fangs in threat.

The bald man nodded, "Kill the baby. The slayer too. In return we destroy your soul."

Angelus looked up quickly, his demonic brow knotted in confusion? "Is that the payment or the job?"

Graegus smiled, "Both."

Slowly Angelus smiled, it was cold. "Really? Now that IS an enticing offer." He pacing and looked into the bald man's eyes, "What's the catch?" He demanding stopping in front of the shorter man.

"No catch, no clause, no loophole, just a simple exchange. They die, you go free. Wolfram & Hart forget you even exist."

Angelus thought about it for a moment, "When?" he asked.

"Whenever you like, now seems as good a time as any."

Angelus turned and looked at Buffy, his eyes wandered up and down her body.

He glanced in discontent at her extended belly, ripe with child, but still thought that body was salvageable.

Still looking at her, he asked Graegus, "Can I turn her?"

Graegus's eyes turned a milky white as he mentally spoke to his bosses, his mouth moved slightly but no words escaped, a moment later his eyes cleared and he looked at Angelus. "Yes, if I destroy her soul as well, the body is yours. However, not the thing growing inside her, that must go."

Angelus smirked, "Funny, I was just thinking the same thing."

...

Buffy stood frozen for the entire exchange, she watched in horror as Angel's soul was ripped from him, and she heard every word the two demons exchanged.

She knew Angelus made sure she did.

Her heart hammered in her chest, Angelus was just handed his dream and she had no doubts on him taking it.

He was going to kill their children, and turn her into a monster.

She fought the restrains, but there was nothing she could do, she was held by magic.

She wanted to run, to grab Katie and just run forever, but she couldn't even move her hand over her swollen belly. A tear slipped from her eye and ran down her cheek, _'Please, no…make this nightmare stop'_ she silently prayed to anyone who would listen.

...

Angelus moved towards Buffy, planning on taking her first, but Graegus's voice stopped him. "The children first; drain the brat, and then cut that parasite for her womb. Then you can have your fun with her."

Angelus scowled, and then moved towards the playpen. "Actually this might be better." He said to the sorcerer after hearing Buffy cry out. "She gets to watch her children die before I kill her. Maybe I'll drive you mad like I did Dru." He finished to Buffy with a cold smirk.

Katie had been sleeping for the entire event so far, but woke as Angelus picked her up awkwardly around her waist.

The seven month old opened her eyes and looked into his face, her brown eyes looking into his yellow ones.

"Da-da" she said playfully.

Angelus smiled, a cold laugh emanated from his throat. He turned to Buffy, "Ya hear that Buff, she called me dada. Isn't that special? Would love to see rat-boy's face on that one. Kind of poetic really, baby's first word…will also be her last."

Buffy's eyes widened in terror for her child, in her head she was screaming, her hands clenched into fists, but the movement wasn't nearly enough. The magic held her fast.

Angelus held the baby tighter and she began to whimper, she could feel the distress radiating off her mother.

"Named after the sister I killed all those years ago. The poetry in this is marvelous. Aww…don't worry little Kathy, you're such a wee thing, this won't take long." He said as his fangs lowered towards her throat.

In the background, Buffy screamed.

...

TBC


	23. Changes In Me, Part 2 - Who's Side?

Graegus closed the distance he had kept between himself and the vampire since he had arrived; he wanted to witness the action personally.

His experience turned out to be far more personal than he had imagined.

As Angelus lowered his fangs to the crying baby's throat, his foot shot up and kicked Graegus in the face, sending him sprawling to the ground.

As soon as Graegus hit the floor the chaos erupted.

Katie screamed as Angelus clutched her tightly against his chest, Graegus's men charging at him, enraged at his betrayal. He ducked a swing and returned a few with his free arm.

...

The magical hold on Buffy broke when Graegus lost consciousness and she used her new found freedom to shoot towards Angelus, he saw her coming and virtually threw the crying baby at her.

She caught her daughter, shocked beyond measure that Angelus, while completely soulless, was seemingly siding with her.

Although she still kept in the back of her mind he could be killing Graegus's men out of spite for Wolfram & Hart, and saving her for later.

He wasn't one to play by the rules, and he rarely played well with others.

She grabbed a piece of shattered table leg from the floor, just in-case.

She soothed the screaming baby as she hid behind the couch, being seven months pregnant severely limited her usefulness as a Slayer, at least if she wanted to birth a live baby.

If she started throwing punches and sending high kicks, she would either eventually receive a blow to the stomach or the rapid movements alone would kill her unborn; that wasn't a first choice option.

Katie quieted after a few moments, as Buffy checked her over. Thankfully she was uninjured; her tears had been entirely from fright, not pain.

She hugged her daughter in relief, kissing her small head and soothing her best she could while trying to figure out a way to get all of them out alive, her husband's untrustworthy demon included.

...

Angelus fought like a blur, Graegus's men had been unprepared for the assault since typically Graegus held their prey immobile for them, that made them weak over time.

Angelus noticed Graegus coming too, he quickly herded his victims in that direction, moments later, Graegus had a sword impaling him to the floor.

'_Well that was anticlimactic_' He thought, looking down at the dead Graegus. _'Why can't they all die that easily?_'

Pain tore into Angelus's left front shoulder, he turned and backhanded that goon beside him.

"Missed the heart jackass." He growled as he pulled the stake from his shoulder and drove it into the goon's chest. "but I didn't" he said as the goon eyes widened in death.

A few minutes later, all ten of the lackeys were either dead, dying, or very close to both.

He looked down at his handwork, and wiped blood from his lips, some of it his, some not.

He closed his eyes a moment and just breathed, his hand holding the bleeding stake wound in his shoulder.

...

Buffy scooted from behind the couch, knowing if Angelus wanted to find her, she couldn't hide.

Katie had fallen back to sleep in her arms, she held the baby close and looked over at Angelus.

His back was to her, but she could tell from his stance he was injured.

His attention was drawn to the forgotten glass vessel that contained his soul.

He walked over to it and lifted the jar from the table, shook it, and watched in almost amusement as his soul swirl around.

"Angelus?" Buffy asked, afraid of what he was going to do with the jar.

She hated his unpredictability.

He turned to her, but kept his eyes on the jar, "Hard to believe this little thing causes me so much trouble."

She shifted uncomfortably, knowing she couldn't reach the vessel in time if he chose to smash it.

"Would be easy to just let it fall, send it back to the ether. But then you'd go and get that little witch bitch of yours…same ol' hocus pocus…an I'm buried back under the weight of this soul again. Funny, doesn't weigh anything out here, but inside…it's crushing."

Buffy inched forward, the gaping hole in the wall to the afternoon sun called to her, it would be welcomed safety from the evil demonic nature of her husband.

Except Angelus was directly blocking that escape.

She thought about running out the back door, but being pregnant greatly reduced her speed; and this late in the day, the backyard would be flooded in shadows, he could catch her in shadows.

Angelus finally looked at her, she couldn't read his eyes, but she could tell the gears were spinning in overdrive.

He didn't look particularly well.

"Have to admit Lover, Graegus's offer, wasn't hating it. Thought about it more than once, turning you. Making you eternally mine."

He stepped closer, she stepped back.

"Could turn the little ones too, be a big happy undead family."

As he spoke, he inched forward, and Buffy matched his advances in reverse.

"Although eternity as an infant would be rather un-fulfilling. I wonder if they would grow fangs, if they don't already have teeth…Ahh the questions of the universe."

She stepped back again and realized in horror she was against the wall, cornered. _'How did I let that happen! Stupid, stupid, stupid_' she yelled in her head.

He caught sight of the stake in her hand; a swift kick on his part sent the potential weapon flying off, far out of reach.

"You're not going to be needing that, lover."

A moment later, Angelus was against her, she could feel his solid abs brush against her distended belly.

Instinctively she held Katie tighter, the child squirmed in defiance.

In a second, he snatched Katie from her arms, and dropped the baby on the chair next to them.

"Daddy needs to talk to Mommy_, alone_." He said as he did.

Buffy yelped in surprise and horror when she realized she wasn't holding her daughter, but Angelus trapped her against the wall.

A small part of her was happy their daughter wasn't between them, if he did kill her, maybe, just maybe he would forget the baby, or her friends would get here before he could get to her.

'_Keep him distracted'_ she thought, _'Just keep his focus on me and not Katie_.'

Angelus didn't seem to need a distraction to keep his focus on Buffy. His hand brushed against her cheek, "Wouldn't you love to stay like this, forever? Young and beautiful, we could rule the world together. "

Buffy replied by kneeing him in the groin.

Unfortunately the blow wasn't as hard as she would have liked, bad angle and swollen belly working against her.

His face contorted in pain but he kept his feet, he slammed her shoulder back against the wall as she tried to run past him.

Talking through gritted pointed fangs, "Way to spoil the mood Buff, could have just said no."

"NO!" she yelled into his face.

Katie cried in protest of the yelling.

"Fair enough" he replied. He pressed her back against the wall, moving his leg against her to prevent another groin shot.

She closed her eyes and waited for the bite.

She felt his lips on her neck, the wetness of his tongue.

"Besides, you wouldn't have that fire I love if you were cold." He whispered into her ear.

She felt his weight disappear, the bite never came.

When she opened her eyes, Angelus was across the room, picking up Graegus's fallen spell book, the Muo-Ping in his free hand.

Buffy couldn't think about anything else at the moment, she plucked Katie from the chair and ran as fast as she could out the front door and into the cold December sunlight.

Buffy jogged down the street, a neighbor there sometimes babysat Katie for them, so she knocked on the door and was relieved when they answered.

She used their phone, called Giles and told him what was going on, she then asked them to watch Katie until either her or one of her friends picked her up.

She quickly jogged back to her house, knowing full well that Angelus was probably using the book to destroy his soul right now.

She had no idea why Angelus had let her leave, actually that wasn't true, she guessed because he was going to destroy his soul anyways, why not add to her torture. Give her a, 'you could have stopped me but instead you ran away', complex.

Buffy reached the hole in the house and peaked inside.

As she expected, Angelus held the book, and was reading from a page.

On the table in front of him sat the Muo-Ping, empty.

Angel's soul was swirling above it in rhythm to the words Angelus spoke.

"NO!" she yelled, horrified Angel's soul was about to be destroyed.

...


	24. Changes In Me, Part 3 - Altered

Angelus shouted the last words of the spell and the swirling soul shot forward, directly into him.

Angelus's body went ridged as his eyes glowed bright orange and he collapsed, convulsing to the floor.

Buffy instinctively ran to him, "Angel!" she cried as she dropped beside him.

His eyes opened, strangely still glowing orange as he panted for air. Usually the glow only lasted a second.

His eyes shut again, a look of pain flashed across his face as his demon features rippled beneath the surface. His face morphed, switching between demon and human as if it couldn't make up its mind which to portray.

Buffy pulled back, wanting to comfort her husband but not sure if the man lying in front of her was him or his not-so-friendly alter-ego.

After a few long seconds Angel's body went still, his face settled on human, his breathing evening out to a normal rate.

'_His eyes did the weird glowy thing, his soul must be inside…right?_'

Buffy bend forward and placed a hand on his neck, checking and quickly finding a steady beat.

She inched forward and brushed her hand along his cheek, "Angel? Can you hear me?"

He stirred, eyes slowly opening; she was shocked to see his eyes still shimming orange.

'_Ok, that's not normal._'

He blinked a few times, and the glow softened, turning yellow and receding into his iris.

'_Ok vamp eyes with no vamp face…creepy._'

"Angel?" she asked again, worried as hell.

His golden eyes turned towards her, "Buffy?" he asked confused. "Wha-what happened? I don't…" his eyes widened as his memory began to return, he sat up looking afraid, "Oh God, are you ok? Katie? The baby?" he asked almost panicked.

Vamp eyes aside, she threw her arms around his neck, relieved beyond expression that he was back, "Angel! Yeah, I'm good, we're all good now." She cried into his neck.

His right arm hugged her tight, is left still weak from his wound.

...

A few minutes later she pulled back, and found his eyes back to normal chocolate brown.

"What?" he asked, noticing her stare but obviously oblivious to his kaleidoscope changing eyes.

"Your eyes, they were changing color." She said to him as they helped each other stand up.

"Changing color?" he asked her, confused still as he helped her up.

"Yeah, they did the orange glow thing, but it didn't fade right away. Then they went all vampy, but they're back to normal now." She said while running her thumb along his cheek. "Are you ok?" she asked.

He was still shaky, and that worried her. "Yeah, I'm…fine." He said without much confidence.

She noticed the lack of confidence in his reply.

After a moment she pulled away, "Wait. What just happened?" she asked, confused.

He looked at her, "You've seen me re-ensouled before."

She nodded, "Yeah, but Angelus, he had the book, your soul. How…who put your soul back?"

He closed his eyes a moment, still reeling himself, then met hers, "I did …I…re-ensouled myself."

She looked at him, "What? How?" she demanded.

He shook his head, "I'm not entirely sure. My head's still a little scrambled."

She reached for the book that he had dropped from his hands, and glanced over the text he had read. It wasn't in English.

"It's not possible, Angelus can't re-ensoul himself."

Angel glanced at the book the looked up at her, "Well I did have the text, my soul, and the ability to read Latin. Not to mention, I actually remember doing it now." He put his hand to his head as the memories continued to flood back, "and now I know why it feels like I was kicked in the groin."

Buffy winced, "Sorry."

He shook his head, "No, you did the right thing" he groaned "…unless you wanted more kids." He mumbled under his breath.

Buffy switched back to the issue at hand, "Angelus hates his soul, why would he put it back?"

Angel thought a moment, "I didn't have a choice."

Buffy felt a stab of fear run down her spine, she stepped back, afraid of the reply "Why do you keep saying **I**?"

'_Angel __**never **__calls himself Angelus and he would have been Angelus at the time…but he keeps saying I like he's __**still **__Angelus…I really hope I'm wrong.'_

"Alright, I umm…It's still a little muddled in here, but I think I know what happened…I'm just not sure how happy your going to be to hear it."

She looked at him afraid, "What do you mean…what _happened_?"

He looked away a moment, gathered his wits then proceeded, "I am Angelus…but I'm Angel too." He bomb shelled.

She looked at him a moment, then stepped back, putting distance between them "Wh-what! What do you mean?"

He grabbed her wrist to steady her but she yanked it out of his grasp.

He met her eyes, "I'm…I'm both. My two personalities aren't divided anymore. When I performed the spell to put my soul back, it…I don't know…it triggered something. My soul and my demon merged." He waited for her reaction.

"Merged?" she asked, still freaking. "What the hell does that mean! More like Angelus? More…evil?"

"No. Nothing like that, I swear. I have my soul. It has nothing to do with being good or evil Buffy. Even then, whether I was good or bad, I was still the same person. Yeah, my morals changed drastically, but the parts that made me…me…were always the same. That's true now too. I'm still me."

"And who exactly is that?" she questioned in a small voice, terrified she was now a single mother of two.

"Your husband, the father of our children, the man that's always been completely and hopelessly in love with you." He inched closer and reached his hand out to touch her face, she allowed the contact, finding comfort in his caress. She looked into his eyes and recognized the love in them she'd seen over the years, she saw none of Angelus's hate, he couldn't fake that. She leaned forward and let him wrap his arms around her, his embrace soothing her fears.

"Buffy nothing's changed between us…I might be a little different personality wise…but the important things are still here. I'm still me." He kissed the top of her head.

She nodded against his chest, "Well you're defiantly acting the part." She blurted.

He grinned, "It's not an act Buffy."

They stood still a moment, taking in the disaster of their living room. "Well you did mention you were thinking of remodeling." He deadpanned.

She frowned, "Not exactly what I meant." She replied stoically. After a moment she asked him, "So…how much _different_ will you be now?"

"Truth is I can't tell you. I don't really know. I guess you'll have had to wait and see. As weird as it sounds, I'll probably need a few days just to figure myself out."

She nodded, "Yeah that is weird." She mumbled against his chest, still trying to absorb it all.

"I know we agreed we would discuss all the big decisions in our life together first…but I didn't really have a choice in this." He said apologetically, pulling her back enough to see her face.

"Yeah, we did…and no, you didn't. I guess I can let this one slide, for now." She said, half-joking, half freaking over how different he will be if he's both Angel and Angelus.

"Why?" she suddenly asked him.

He looked down at her, "Why what?"

"Why did you, or he…Angelus re-ensoul himself? He hates his soul. Why would he willingly put it back?"

He took a deep breath, "I would have died if I didn't." he said quietly.

She looked deep into his eyes, "What? Why? I don't understand."

"You remember why my heart started beating to begin with?" he asked, knowing she knew the answer but needing to let her see it too.

She nodded, "Yeah, some sort of…poison for vampires." She said realizing where he was going with this.

"Without my soul interfering, it was starting to kill me, to kill my demon. As much as I like vegetables, I didn't want to be one."

She hugged him tighter, knowing she could have lost him all on fronts.

Had the poison killed his demon, his soulless body would have been left vacant, and without a soul to sustain it, it would have died not long after.

"As a demon, I wasn't about to sacrifice myself so my soul could re-enter our body and live completely human, if that was even possible. This was the only way to save myself, to save my demon side."

She nodded against him again, "How is the poison still in your system after all this time?"

"I dunno, guess it's not the kinda thing what wears off."

...

Their embrace was interrupted as a dozen more of Graegus's goons rushing in.

'_Shit, second wave._' Angel thought as he stepped in front of Buffy, "Go, I'll cover you." He urged to her.

She looked like she was going to argue when he grabbed her and kissed her, "You can't fight, and our children need a mother." He said quickly after the kiss.

"They need a father too" she countered.

He threw a backwards kick at the first goon, sending him flying into his buddies, buying them a moment.

"Liam won't need a father if he doesn't get the chance to be born." He yelled over to her while diving into the fight.

Buffy was torn for a moment, not wanting to leave her husband injured and outnumbered, but also not wanting to leave her daughter an orphan or take the chance of life away from the babe within her.

Motherly instinct won over in the end, she grabbed a sword from a previously fallen goon at her feet, "Angel!" she yelled.

His demon features surface as he managed to turn and catch the weapon she tossed him. He nodded his thanks and was relieved when she exited though the back.

'_All I need is for them to live._'

Angel tore his focus off his family and concentrated fully on the fight, he had no intentions of leaving Buffy a widow.

...

TBC


	25. Changes In Me, Part 4 - Rules Changed

As Buffy jogged awkwardly down the street, she was nearly to the neighbor's house when Giles's new and practical for Slaying, SUV barreled down the road and stopped just shy of her.

She opened the passenger side door and climbed in.

Xander, who had been in the passenger seat, jumped over into the back with Willow to make room for her.

"My house, Now!" she ordered to him.

The SUV was rolling before the door even closed.

"What's going on Buff?" Xander asked, prepping for battle.

Buffy stuffed her personal feelings down and the Slayer in her took over, "Angel was re-ensouled but a dozen more of Graegus's men attacked. He's injured and outnumbered, and if we don't get there soon…." She trailed off, but they all knew the ending, 'he'll be killed.'

"I know this isn't the best time, but uhh…how did he get re-ensouled?" Willow asked curious since she was the only one to re-ensoul Angel in the last century.

"It's…complicated. I'll explain later."

_'When __**I**__ figure out what happened. They're going to freak when they find out Angelus is on the surface._'

"He's good, so no friendly fire." She warned giving Xander a look.

...

Angel knew he was losing, the sword impaled threw his back was a decent indication.

He ripped the blade free and growled in rage and pain; he wasn't going to give these guys the satisfaction of hearing him scream, or of seeing him fall.

This group was trained better than the last, he'd managed to kill three, four more were groaning on the ground but would soon be back to their feet, another four where watching with glee as the leader fought Angel.

He was Thanatos, Graegus's second-in-command, and as deadly as his name suggests; which in Greek mythology was the demonic personification of death.

This guy wasn't human like his men, his pointed horns and glowing red eyes gave him an appearance more akin to the devil.

Thanatos lashed out with his sword, Angel barely blocking it, the wound in his shoulder from the previous fight sapping much needed strength from his left arm.

Angel dropped to the ground, rolling and swinging his sword for the lieutenant's feet.

Thanatos jumped at the last minute, clearing the blow, but the unlucky goon standing behind him got knocked off his feet, literally.

Angel bit down the scream in his throat that wanted to escape as his shoulder and back protested the rapid movements.

He was tired; he figured it was from the rapid blood loss.

As soon as Angel regained his feet, Thanatos was on him.

Swords clashed as they fought, cheers roused from the men as their leader backed the vampire towards the glass window.

Thanatos sensed victory and increased his attacks, Angel lost pace and his sword when he was punched savagely across the jaw.

Thanatos grinned evilly as Angel swayed, nearly unconscious; "You look pale vampire, get a tan" He finished by viciously kicking Angel in the chest, sending him crashing thought the picture window and into the front yard.

Into the sunlight.

...

"ANGEL!" Buffy screamed when she saw her vamped husband crash threw their window and land in the sun.

Giles and Xander ran past her and raised their crossbows, shooting at anything that moved. The lackeys smartly stayed in the house, out of range and sight of the crossbows.

Buffy and Willow ran towards Angel, both expecting to see him burst into flames at any second.

Willow was currently faster and reached him first, "Angel?" she asked standing in the sun and trying to shield him best she could.

Buffy dropped beside him, both realized in relief he wasn't burning although his demon side was showing.

'_Thank you, thank you, thank you_.'

Buffy decided not to question why her husband wasn't in flames and was just grateful for it.

"Angel?" she called trying to rouse him.

He coughed, blood flowing down his lips. His eyes opened, one yellow iris bloodshot, matching the growing bruise around the eye.

...

Giles and Xander yelled as an energy force blew them back, their crossbows broken as they crashed to the ground.

The seven remaining soldiers rushed forwards, charging the downed men.

The pair shot to their feet and began fending off blows.

"Could have used Oz's help right about now." Xander complained as he tackled the nearest soldier.

...

The red-headed Witch stepped up to contend with Thanatos, who wasn't as strong a sorcerer as Graegus had been, but not one to be taken lightly.

...

Two of the goons noticed Buffy attending to her fallen Angel. They advanced eager to finish off the vampire and have a little fun with his woman.

"Buffy?" Angel managed to cough out as he focused on her.

"Shh, just rest ok." She said quickly, knowing he was in bad shape and not wanting to let him know it.

He sensed the men approaching, his demon powers were in overdrive since the re-ensoulment.

He knew Giles and Xander were fighting off somewhere to his left, Willow was in battle off to the right...and Buffy was too pregnant to fight without risking their child...that left him.

Despite every muscle in his body protesting, he rose to his feet, pushing both his injuries and Buffy's hand away as both tried to keep him down.

When he got swaying to his feet, her eyes fell to the amount of blood staining the ground where he had just laid, she felt a stab of cold hard fear hit her whole body.

She felt frozen from dread. _'Oh no. Too much, that's got to be too much.'_

Liam kicked within her, drawing her attention back to the baby's father, who was now fighting the two soldiers.

She grabbed a fallen crossbow from the bag Giles carried from the van and pointed it at one of them, determined not to let this fight be Angel's last.

Before she could pull the trigger, Angel kicked one of the soldiers to the ground and grabbed the man she was aiming at around the neck.

A flashback to their fight with Cerberus crossed her mind as Angel sank his fangs into the man's neck.

The goon on the ground rose, and was about to stab an occupied Angel when the crossbow bolt pierced his arm.

"Oops, trigger finger slipped." she said innocently.

He screamed and dropped the weapon.

A second later Angel let the dead husk of his first victim fall and grabbed the one Buffy wounded, he drank him dry too.

"Angel?" Buffy called as she approached, she wasn't afraid _of_ him, just _for_ him.

He dropped the second body and turned to face her, his yellow eyes blazing in the sunlight. "Now I'm pissed." He growled as he picked up the fallen sword and headed back towards the battle.

"Angel, stop! You're hurt, you can't." Buffy protested, seeing borderline madness flashing in his eyes.

"I'm finishing this Buffy." He told her flatly, no room for argument.

The blood of the two soldiers flowing through his veins boosted his strength and pushed the grievousness of his injuries aside.

...

Willow was keeping Thanatos's magical blows in check, she would have ended the fight quickly, but his defensive magic was excellent.

...

Giles and Xander were handling the five that attacked them, only two left standing now, but they would soon fall to the duo.

...

As Thanatos was facing Willow, Angel took the opportunity to sneak up on the demon and send his sword through his back and out his gut as he had done to Angel earlier in the fight.

"How do you like it?" Angel quipped as he pulled the blade free.

Thanatos grunted in pain but kept on his feet. "Guess the reports were true, you're a hard man to kill Angelus. However I can be very persuasive." The demon yelled as he lunged for Angel.

The demons fought, swords clashing, blows exchanged, blood spilled.

Thanatos back flipped, kicking Angel in the face, breaking his nose and splitting his lip.

Angel spit the blood the ground. "This ends now. Death, meet death." He growled.

He hurled his sword at Thanatos's chest knowing the demon would pause to taunt him and leave himself open for the shot.

Thanatos laughed, "You dare to…" his words were cut off as his heart was cleaved in two.

"I dared." Angel taunted the dying demon as he ripped the sword out of his body and sliced off his head.

Angel swayed again, using the sword for support now the adrenalin rush ended and his body began to feel his injuries again.

Buffy was at his side in an instant, grabbing a hold of him, steadying him.

His vampire eyes looked down at her, her hazel green eyes wide in worry and fear.

He didn't think about it, he just bent down and consumed her lips in a hungry kiss.

She was surprised but kissed back, taking comfort in his lips.

'_He can't be that bad off if he's kissing me like __**this**_.' She reasoned.

The kiss ended as abruptly as it began when Angel suddenly collapsed lifelessly to the ground.

Buffy yelped his name when he fell, horrified he was dead.

'_Oh god! Was that a goodbye last kiss?!_'

...


	26. Changes In Me, Part 5 - Bandages

Buffy dropped beside her fallen husband and felt for a heartbeat, it was there, barely.

The others rushed up to them as Buffy ripped open Angel's shirt and coat to see the extent of the damage.

"Oh shit" she whispered as she saw the exit wound in his abdomen, a few ribs on his left were broken and protruding from where they stuck up through the skin.

Giles knelt beside her, "Buffy take Willow and go get the medical supplies. Xander and I shall bring him in."

Buffy shook her head, not wanting to leave his side.

She winced when Angel coughed, blood running down his lips as his breathes came in short gurgling gasps, the broken ribs having punctured his lung.

"Don't move him yet. We'll be right back." She told him, afraid if they tried to carry Angel upstairs, since the living room was too trashed to act as a make-shift hospital, the movement would rip open his wounds more and he would bleed to death before they made it to the bedroom.

As Buffy and Willow disappeared into the house for the much needed first aid kits, Giles knelt by Angel and proceeded to cut the torn shirt and coat off for better access to the wounds.

Xander sat beside him, helping when he could.

"Was it just me, or did Buffy just let Angelus kiss her?"

Giles looked up, "It's not just you. I've noticed she is calling him Angel as well. I'm sure Buffy will explain once he is stabilized." Giles replied looking down at the unconscious and broken vampire beside him.

When the girls returned, Buffy threw a wool blanket over Angel to keep him as warm as possible in the brisk December evening.

She sat with Angel's head in her lap as Giles manipulated the ribs back into place and began sewing the wounds shut.

"So Buff, I couldn't help but notice Angelus isn't going all up-in-smoke out here in the sun…." Xander fished.

Buffy didn't lift her gaze off Angel's face, "He's not Angelus." She said simply.

They all paused a moment, not understanding how the demon could be present if the demon wasn't present.

"Uhh…What?" Willow asked. "I thought Angel couldn't vamp, didn't we establish this already?"

Buffy still didn't look up, "The rules have changed." She said quietly.

"Buffy, perhaps you could indulge us in a few more details." Giles asked.

"Gees, dead/alive, good/bad, human/vampire, soul/no soul. Wish half-dead boy here would make up his mind already." Xander grumbled.

If a glare could kill, Xander would have been vaporized; the only thing keeping Buffy from beating the shit out of Xander's face was the desire to keep Angel's head cradled in her lap.

With an eerily calm in her voice she said "Xander, would it be convenient for you to shut the f*ck up while my husband is bleeding, possibly to death, in our front yard?"

Xander visibly paled, realizing he hit a major nerve on the last comment.

Willow spoke up to ease the tension, "Right, we can ask questions later, once we know Angel's ok. Right guys?"

Both men nodded and got back to work.

Xander retreated into the house to start dragging out the bodies of the deceased soldiers.

'_Man I never thought I'd think this, but I miss vampires. At least they 'poof gone' once you kill em._'

...

After half an hour of patching up, Angel's wounds were closed enough to move him.

Giles slung Angel's right arm over his shoulder while Buffy wrapped her arms around his chest, careful to avoid the rib wound and the left shoulder injury from earlier.

Willow hurried ahead to open doors and make sure the bed was ready.

On the way up the stairs, Giles couldn't help but feel nervous as the vampire's fangs hung only a few inches from his neck.

...

As soon as Angel was horizontal, Buffy ordered everyone out of the bedroom.

Willow was about to exit too when she paused and turned back. "Umm…Buffy?" she said to get her attention.

Buffy turned, "What is it Will?" she asked.

Willow noticed the tears beginning to form in the Slayer's eyes.

"Are you ok? The baby?" the witch asked, concerned not only about her best friend's physical health, but her mental health too.

Buffy shook her head, "Me? I don't know yet." She put her hand over her belly, "He's fine. Kicking up a storm at the moment." She said with a small smile at her unborn son.

Willow nodded, "Ok. Half good." She looked over at Angel, "How about him, is he going to be ok? Does he need a umm…blood donation again?" she asked but not really wanting to volunteer a second time if the answer was yes.

Buffy stood and felt Angel's pulse, it was weak but steady. The two drained soldiers were keeping him going.

She shook her head, "No, thanks for the offer but I think he'll be alright. I'll come down in a few hours or so. I just need to make sure, ok?" she asked.

Willow nodded, knowing she was being dismissed. "I understand, we'll go work on your living room, make sure it's…livable."

Buffy nodded to her, "Thanks", then turned her attention back to her husband.

...

She spent almost an hour cleaning off blood and gore from his body, and changing him out of his shredded blood stained clothes and into a clean pair of boxers.

She was shocked to see his wounds healing so quickly.

There had been serious concern on her part that Angel wouldn't survived the night, now however, his pulse was steady and stong.

She was just settling down to change the bandages with she heard a knock on the door, she didn't want to answer it but the door opened anyways.

"Buffy?" Willow's voice called, "I'm sorry to intrude, but the Jones's called."

Buffy was instantly on high alert, she turned and was relieved when Willow stood in the doorway holding Katie, "They had to go out, so I picked her up. Is that ok?" she asked, not wanting to anger the stressed Slayer any further.

The tears Katie had been crying instantly dried and she squealed in joy when she saw her mother. Her small arms reached out to Buffy.

"Yes Will, thank you. Wow I can't believe I forgot she was there." She said taking her baby from Willow.

Buffy had been so caught up with the fighting and Angel's injuries, but in the back of her mind she knew Katie was safe, so her mind had paid attention to only what was happening in front of her.

"Don't worry about explaining anything today, spend your time with Angel and we'll stay downstairs tonight just in-case you get anymore visitors, that is if it's ok with you? Is that ok with you?" the witch asked.

Buffy hugged her daughter, "Yeah that'll be fine."

"Ok, I'll bring up some dinner for you guys in an hour or so?" she asked.

Buffy nodded.

"Ok, until then." The redhead nodded and quickly exited the room, leaving Buffy alone with her family.

...

Buffy climbed into bed beside Angel, the squirming seven month old eager to explore.

As a newborn, you couldn't put her down without her screaming; however the moment Katie learned she could move around on her own power, she wouldn't be held for long.

Her chocolate brown eyes focused on Angel, "Dada!" she said and pointed to him.

"Yeah" Buffy said with a sad smile, "you're daddy's sleeping honey, don't wake him."

The joy at hearing her daughter first words were nearly crushed under the weight of today's horrors.

The baby crawled towards him, not able to understand he was unconscious.

Buffy picked her up again, Katie protested loudly, but Buffy held her tight. After a few minutes Katie seemed to understand her mother needed to hold her and she settled down.

Buffy stood and looked over at Angel, he was still in vamp mode and still unconscious; she didn't want to leave him alone, but she needed to take care of Katie.

She leaned over and kissed his forehead, "I'll be right back." She said to him, then carried Katie into the nursery, she changed her diaper and put her into a more comfortable pair of Pj's.

Buffy grabbed a few toys to entertain the baby as she hurried back into the bedroom.

She placed Katie on the floor and plopped the toys down in front of her; she crawled over to them and began to chew the ears on the stuffed pig.

Buffy didn't want Katie on the bed just in-case Angel came to thrashing.

She kept a close eye on her daughter as she began to change her husband's bandages.

She was relieved to fine most of the worst wounds had closed, but to be thorough she put a generous amount of ointment on the various cuts and scratches and taped a piece of gauze over each.

Buffy looked down as Katie crawled over and climbed against her leg, pulling herself into a standing position against her mother.

The brown haired little girl lifted her arms, indicating she wanted to be picked up.

Buffy obliged. "Hey honey, what's the matter? You hungry?" she asked, knowing Katie only wanted to be held with she was tired or hungry.

Katie grabbed at Buffy's shirt, "Hungry it is then." She said as she sat on the other side of the bed and prepared to breastfeed.

True to her word, an hour later Willow knocked. "Come in" Buffy said from the bed, pulling a blanket up over her chest for modesty.

"Oh, sorry" Willow said looking away, cheeks matching her hair.

"Its fine Willow, you've seen this a hundred times." Buffy replied shaking her head at her friend's embarrassment.

"Yeah, I know. I'm all for woman being maternal and baby's getting fed; it's just awkward, like an invasion of privacy or intruding on something intimate. Ya know?" The witch said nervously.

Buffy shook her head, "No, not really. Invasion of privacy and intruding on something intimate are pretty much requirements for having kids." She said with a weak smile.

"Yeah, I suppose that's true." Willow agreed. "Well anyhow, I brought up some sandwiches and some baby rice food stuff, but it looks like you have that part covered." She said putting the bag of food down on the reading table.

"Actually that's good, I'm supposed to be weaning her anyways. Need to make room on here for Liam." Buffy said as she gently coaxed Katie to surrender her nipple.

"Can I have the mush?" Buffy asked. Willow pulled the baby food out of the bag and handed it to her.

Buffy pulled the cover off the plastic container and mixed the rice cereal with the supplied spoon. "Wanna try? Come on, open up." She said as she held the spoon to Katie's mouth, the baby turned away.

Buffy sighed, "She never eats anything solid for me."

'_Angel's the one to get her to eat…and nap…and bathe_.' She turned her head and looked over at Angel, worried as hell he hadn't woken up yet.

"How's he doing?" Willow asked as she got closer, "Whoa, he's still all vampy?" The redhead asked, then winced hoping she didn't strike a nerve like Xander did earlier.

Buffy didn't seem upset, "He's stable, healing seemed to be super-ed up from the goons he drank, but he's just not waking up. As for his game face, I don't think I've ever seen it on for this long, even before he had a pulse." Buffy confessed. "Although I have to admit I'm far more worried about the lack of consciousness. I can live with the fangs but the coma however has got to go."

Willow nodded, deciding to ignore the 'Angel drank people' comment and understanding her friend's anxiety for her lover. Willow vividly remembered the fear Buffy had when Angel nearly died in Oz's van. The witch also figured her anxiety over having to raise a baby alone was double now she was expecting a second child.

She walked over to the bed and sat beside Buffy, "He'll wake up Buffy. And if he doesn't do it on his own…well I pulled you out of Comaville once, I could try for him too." She said to give Buffy some hope.

It worked, Buffy smiled, "Thanks Will. I'll let you know if he doesn't snap out of it by morning."

Willow sent her a grin, "Don't forget to eat yourself, I bet Liam wants dinner too."

Buffy nodded, "Yeah, I'll eat something, I promise."

Willow said goodnight and headed down stairs, it would be an early night for everyone this evening.

Katie fussed again and Buffy gave in and let her breastfeed more.

'_Well I'm not just going let her starve_.'

When she drank her fill Buffy cleaned her up and changed her diaper.

She brought her back into the bedroom to let her play while she scoffed down a few of the sandwiches and drank some waters.

Buffy sat on the bed, intending to stay up for a while and watch over the two in her care, until a day of worrying and exhaustion caught up to her and she fell asleep.

Katie had been playing on the bed with a toy when Buffy nodded off, but after awhile baby attention span kicked in and she got bored.

She crawled over to her father, and climbed onto him.

She poked at the little white squares covering his chest and arms, and then crawled over towards the edge of the bed.

She saw her stuffed piggy lying on the floor and wanted it.

She looked and saw her parents sleeping, and then looked at the pig, then the edge of the bed.

She went for the edge, determined to get her piggy.

...

'Thunk'

Buffy was kicked awake from within, she looked down at her belly and rubbed it, '_Gees Liam, don't you ever sleep?_' she wondered as she stretched, her back sore from the uncomfortable position she was sleeping in.

She looked down on the bed and saw Katie's toy, her heart jumped when she remembered falling asleep, leaving the baby unsupervised.

...

Katie whimpered as she looked over the edge of the bed, unsure how to get down from such a height, well above her head. She looked over further, leaning against Angel's arm, but lost her balance and fell forward.

...

Buffy turned her head in time to see Katie fall over the edge, "Katie!" she yelped but was too far to grab her.

...

Katie only fell a few inches before Angel's arm shifted in unconscious reflex, a large hand catching her small torso.

On autopilot, he brought her against his chest and laid his hand over her.

Angel wasn't fully conscious, but his demon senses were still on overdrive since the merger between soul and demon happened, so he was at least partially aware of the little body crawling over him, his mind aware enough to keep her safe.

Buffy nearly fainted in relief when Angel unconsciously caught their daughter.

She scooted over as Katie squirmed under her father's protective iron grip.

The baby focused her big brown eyes, mirror's of her daddy's, at Buffy and pouted.

The brunette pointed a little finger at the floor behind her.

Buffy followed the point and saw Gordie Jr. lying near the table.

Katie never slept without the little stuffed pig that was so similar to Buffy's Mr. Gordo that she's had since childhood.

Buffy understood what had motivated the overactive seven month old and kissed her forehead, "Ok Honey, I'll get him for you."

A minute later Katie was holding her stuffy and yawning, she lay down as Angel's heartbeat lulled her to sleep.

Buffy smiled at the sight of father and daughter sleeping together, it wasn't a rare sight by any means, but she still loved to see it.

A frown crossed her lip when she remembered Angel wasn't asleep but unconscious.

She yawned, looking at the time revealed 9:32pm, a time in her early Slaying years as rush-hour. However her married and pregnant years, this was about right, especially when you have a young child.

She took a final check of Angel's injuries, satisfied he was healing, she eased back into bed beside him.

Any fears of him waking up in berserk mode were nullified when he caught Katie.

'_He knows he home._'

She lay down and pulled the sheets up, covering herself and her husbands legs, '_Don't need those cold feet touching me_'.

She didn't want the blanket covering higher in-case it got pulled over Katie in the night, she didn't was to risk suffocating the baby, plus Angel's chest would keep her plenty warm.

Buffy closed her eyes and tried to sleep. A few minutes later she turned onto her other side, a few minutes after that she adjusted again. After a few minutes she sighed, "I hate sleeping alone."

She turned and looked at Angel a moment, '_Well if Katie's sleeping on him…"_

Buffy scooted over and nestled up against her 'maternity pillow', resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping a leg over his and resting her growing heavier baby bump on his waist, her arm snaked around just under Katie.

She leaned forward and kissed the tip of the sleeping baby's nose. "Goodnight Katie" she kissed Angel's cheek, "Goodnight, I love you."

He shifted a little in response; Buffy hoped he was waking up.

A second later his demon features finally receded, however his eyes remained closed.

Buffy smiled anyways, counting human-face as a step in the right direction.

She fell sound asleep with a smile on her lips.

...

Angel was aware of something, he was surrounded by heartbeats.

He slowly opened his eyes, easily seeing in the dark room Buffy curled against him and Katie sleeping peacefully on his chest.

He could feel their hearts and breath and warmth. The little rapid beating that indicated his son growing in Buffy was fluttering soothingly into his ears.

He let himself be pulled back down into the darkness as he listened to the drumming beats of the chorus of life.

...

TBC


	27. Changes In Me, Part 6 - Wounded Pride

AN: The cliffhanger from "Bandages" was actually continued in "Bandages" since this part of the story wasn't complete yet and I didn't want to leave people hanging. Sorry about any confusion of people reading it before I edited it.

...

Morning came and light streamed in across the room, a little finger pulling on her hair brought Buffy to wakefulness.

Katie lay where she fell asleep, but now wide awake and ready for mischief.

Katie mouthed some baby talk then pulled Buffy's hair again.

"Ouch" Buffy said, not really hurt but trying to teach her child _some_ manners.

"No pulling mommy's hair ok, that not nice." She gently scolded as she pulled her hair free of the little fingers.

She sat up and stretched, feeling a lot better than she did the night before, at least before seeing the time.

The clock read 6:52am.

Buffy cringed, but considered this was fairly late for Katie, who usually started announcing her hunger at 6am.

Buffy 'rescued' her daughter for her 'prison' and placed her on the floor to crawl around while she checked over Angel.

She inspected his wounds, finding nothing more serious than bruises. '_Thank you_.' She thought to whoever kept answering her prayers.

Nurse Buffy removed the bandages but was still worried about the coma state.

Her own stomach growled and Liam kicked in conjunction. "Fine, be that way." She said to her bump.

"I'll be back soon." She said to her hubby and kissed his forehead.

Buffy scooped Katie up and gave her a quick washing and changed her diaper, much to her displeasure.

She then headed downstairs to feed the three hungry mouths, well actually two hungry mouths and a hungry mouth-to-be.

...

Buffy almost screamed when she noticed two bodies on her furniture, then she remembered the gang were spending the night.

She walked past Xander as he slept awkwardly in the two chairs, and Willow stretched out on the couch.

The hole in the wall and window had been covered by plastic and the floor swept of loose debris. It didn't look like a model room, but it was far better than the last time she saw it.

She didn't see Giles anywhere, but figured he was in the kitchen since the light was on.

She walked in and found her watcher/father fiddling with the coffeepot.

"Confounded machine! It's a plot, add computers to every bloody thing so they can take over the world!" he grumbled quietly, looking like he was about to hit it.

"Ohmigod, Giles is a closet conspiracy theorist!" Buffy quipped behind him with fake shock.

He startled and whipped around, "Buffy, thank goodness. This technological nightmare needs slaying." He said seriously.

Buffy laughed, "Yeah, no." She shook her head trying not to laugh too hard while she opened a cabinet under the sink and pulled out an 'archaic' tea kettle.

Giles visibly relaxed, "Oh thank the lord." He said taking it from her.

"Yeah, Angel can't figure out the coffeemaker either, I guess there must be an age limit on technology. You must be this young to operate."

Giles frowned, "The fault lies with you youngsters and the barmy idea you need a computer in everything! Boiling water is not a task that requires technology, a simple vessel that can hold water and be heated will suffice."

Buffy placed Katie in her highchair and grabbed a bottle of formula out of the fridge, "You just make your tea, I'll handle the coffee." She said to the watcher as she microwaved the bottle.

She quickly added the grounds and water and programmed the coffeemaker, she finished before the microwave beeped.

She picked up Katie and sat at the kitchen table, in a more comfortable position to feed the baby than the highchair would allow. Katie made a few attempts to hold the bottle herself, but it was too big and heavy for her little hands to handle.

…

"Do I smell coffee?" a bleary eyed Xander walked in followed by a tussled Willow.

Xander took over coffee duty as Giles brewed his tea.

Willow sat next to Buffy, "So how's Angel?" the witch asked honestly concerned.

"Oh yeah! What's up with the fanged avenger?" Xander asked.

"Yes Buffy, do explain the 'complicated circumstances', yes?" Giles added.

Buffy sighed, remembering she had promised to tell them. After a torn moment she reluctantly told them what Angel had said to her before the second fight.

…

The three blinked a moment, silent and still.

"Ahh…I'm sorry Buffy did you just say he's permanent Angelus now!" Xander panicked.

Buffy shook her head, "That's not what I said at all! He said his personalities merged, as in both together, not one domineering over the other."

"I'm telling you Buff, adding Angelus to the mix is NOT a positive. This can only go bad. Think of the kids, can you really trust him alone with them knowing the evil side of him is free roaming?" Xander's voice argued.

"I'm compelled to agree with Xander's perspective" Giles's voice followed, "Though he may seem calm now, one must wonder how he will react in stressful situations. His darker side could manifest in any number of harmful ways."

"They have a point Buffy" Willow confessed, "We have no idea what this merger did to him mentally. I mean I like Angel, he a peach, but I think we need to do a little research before we turn our backs."

"Yeah, or we might get a new twin piercing in our necks when we're not looking" Xander added.

"He's not evil!" Buffy countered, "He has his soul! Did you guys forget that part?"

"Oh yeah, how did that happen again?" Willow asked.

Buffy told them about the spell book.

"Oh great. So Angelus re-ensouled himself! Yeah, that makes a lot of sense." Xander said sarcastically, "I bet he conjured some fancy light-show to trick you and he's just waiting to kill us all in our sleep."

Buffy shook her head, "Then why didn't I wake up with a blood habit this morning? I slept next to him all-night and he didn't bite me." She countered angrily.

"Just luring us into a false sense of security." Xander replied weakly.

...

Angel slowly awoke early the following morning, his senses easing back from overdrive down to their normal levels.

As consciousness resumed, the first thing he noticed was he was alone.

He opened his eyes and looked over to Buffy's side of the bed, the empty side of the bed.

He was worried instantly, normally when he was hurt she wouldn't leave his side until he woke and told her numerously he was 'ok'.

Slowly he felt Buffy nearby, he always had a slight ability to just know she was around, his worry faded.

Sitting up brought a lot less pain that he thought he would feel after such a vicious fight.

He noticed the bandages were already gone too, his body virtually healed save for a few minor bruises.

'_I got off pretty well considering._'

He got out of bed, donned a pair of sweatpants and stretched a few minutes to ease his sore muscles.

After a moment he realized there were voices coming from downstairs. He silently opened the bedroom door and listened.

"Ahh…I'm sorry Buffy did you just say he's permanent Angelus now!" Xander's panicked voice echoed up the stairs...followed by the rest of the conversation.

…

Buffy remained silent, she had wasted a lot of breath defend Angel and just wasn't in the mood to waste anymore.

'_Unless __Angel__ gives me a reason not to, I'm still considering him on my side_.'

...

As Angel stood atop the stairs, he realized he was pissed.

After all the times he had saved their lives, after all the battles fighting with them side-by-side, after all they had been though together as a family; they had the audacity to sit in his house and accused him of being untrustworthy.

He let his anger simmer at a slow boil and made his way silently down the stairs.

Vaguely he thought before this merger, he would have felt compelled to brood in a dark room and avoid contact with them, but right now…he was looking forward to a little contact.

Mostly he was just bruised, tired and hungry, but his ego was getting the worst beating by those he considered family.

As he strolled into the kitchen, another one of Xander's derogatory remarks died on his throat when he saw Angel standing with his arms folded menacingly across his chest and glaring angrily at him.

'_Oh I'm so f*cked right now_.' The younger man gulped.

"You know" Angel said to the startled group, "if you're going to hold your little 'We hate Angel' club meeting, could you please not do it in _my_ house, especially when I'm _home_ and can _hear_ you. It's kinda rude." He paused then said, "Actually, better yet, why don't you say it to my face...Come on...standing right here..."

They all sat still as gazelle upon seeing the tiger stalking thought the tall grass.

No one said a word.

"Figured as much." He mumbled, thinking they were all cowards.

After a moment of their stunned silence, he moved again.

He walked over to Buffy and gave his equally stunned wife a kiss on the cheek, "Morning."

He kissed Katie's head as she sat in her mother lap, "Morning sweetheart."

He then turned and walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself a generous mug full.

Buffy shook off her shock and handed Katie over to Willow to continue feeding while she hurried over to Angel.

They spoke quietly to keep the others from hearing. "Angel, I'm sorry about…" she tried to apologize for her family when he held up his hand to silence her.

"No, don't apologize for them; it's not your fault." He took a long swallow of the hot coffee then set the mug down on the counter, he sighed heavily, "In all honesty, I have no idea how much I've changed because of this."

He wrapped is arms around her waist and pulled her close against him, "All I do know is how much I love you, and our family." He let his hands fall down to rub the swell of her belly. "It just pisses me off that even after all we've been thought, they still see me as the enemy." He finished sending an angry glare towards the kitchen table where the others sat.

"I know. I love you." She said stretching up on her tip toes to place a kiss on his lips.

He bent down making it easier for her to reach him and eagerly returned the kiss.

They pulled apart after a moment, "They're just scared Angel, they don't understand so they take it out on you. I'll talk to them." Buffy stated.

He shook his head, "No, I think I should."

...

Angel unwrapped him arms from his wife, drained the mug, set it down then walked over to the still silent kitchen table. "Ok, what's on your minds?" He asked them.

No one spoke.

"You were all so interested in the subject of me a few minutes ago..."

Still nothing but uncomfortable shifting.

He tried something else. "I remember killing for fun. Draining people just to see the look of death cross their face..."

"Angel?" Buffy asked, concerned where he was going with this.

"I have the faces of hundreds, thousands even in my head...each one I snuffed out before their time, just because I could."

He took a few steps and leaned against the wall, arms crossed in-front of his bare chest. "I used to see it as a badge, a legacy to my time as a vampire. Then I had my soul restored...and my treasure trove became my prison cell. I saw their faces and I was haunted, driven nearly mad with guilt and remorse. Now though, now it's different."

"Different how? Willow asked, too caught up in the story to remember being afraid to talk.

"I'm not buried by guilt anymore" He continued, "I understand that I was soulless at the time, I had no free will. Don't get me wrong, I do feel bad, I do regret...but no more than you would regret hitting a deer while driving. Circumstances were out of my control; in essence it's not my fault. I accept that now.

The Angelus you know, the soulless evil is dead. I am him, but at the same time, I'm not. In the same breath, Angel the vampire cused with a soul is dead. I'm him too, but not.

I chose to ensoul myself, there may have been self preservation issues involved, but I still made the choice. That means I'm not likely to revert to what I was, I can't lose my soul again because it is a part of my demon. Soul and demon, now part of the same essences.

Will that change some of my personality traits? Yes. Do I know which ones? No.

Does it make me evil? Pretty sure it doesn't.

My demonic side is still satisfied feeding of my own blood, there will be exceptions when I'm badly hurt, but in general, I prefer chocolate over something red.

I'm still a champion for the Powers; I'll still fight for my world and my family. I can say whoever tries to get between either of those things is going to regret it.

He looked to Xander, "Should I watch my back around _you_, boy? Will I wake to find a stake in it one night?

You've hated me since day one...even before you knew I was a vampire. I know it used to do with you being in love with my wife...so why do you hate me now? Is this some twisted 'I still love Buffy but she sleeps with a demon' cry for help?

Is it my history of death? You nearly married a vengeance demon, Anyanka's 1000 year murder spree didn't phase you, but my mere 150 does?

Whatever it is, I don't care, but this irrational anger directed toward me will end Harris; if not...you know where the door is."

He turned to Giles, "We've had our up and downs, recently we got along well before this merger, but I know you harbor vengeance towards me from my brief soulless stint...for what I took from you. Can you forgive my demon side? Are you able to understand the creature that killed Jenny is as dead as she is? I hope you can, being my children's grandfather, I expect to be able to trust you...that trust needs to be reciprocated."

He looked to each of his audience, "If we are to live together as a family beyond this point, you all need to ask yourselves if you can come to terms with how I am now. The decision is yours." He turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving them to decide.

...

Slowly they each took in what Angel had said, digesting what had to be the most consecutive words he'd ever spoken to a group.

Buffy chewed her lip, unsure whether she should go talk to him, or let his anger dissipate.

Xander stood and grabbed his coat off the back of the chair, "Well it seems you have everything covered here, I'm just going to go."

"Wait" Buffy called out to him before he could slink off.

"Umm, yeah?" He asked, knowing what Buffy was going to ask and really not wanting to answer.

"I'm not going to demand an answer." She began, "But Angel's right, you've been against him since I first told you about him. He's my husband, I love him to death, beyond death it that's what it takes. This tension between you both has got to stop. I'm not asking you to become best friends forever, but do as he asks, end it now." She ordered.

Xander nodded slowly; relieved his personal feelings weren't being thrown on the table for all to see. He nodded, "Yeah, I'm going to go…work on that."

"Xander" She said to get his attention again.

When he looked at her she continued, "You're one of my best friends, I've relied on you for so much over the years, you even brought me back to life once. I want you in my life, I need you in my life. Make that happen, ok?" She asked.

He nodded, then headed out the back door.

"I think I'm going to go too." Willow added after a moment. "I'm desperate for a shower. Plus...well you don't need me to pull Angel out of Coma-ville, so not much else I can do here."

Buffy nodded, "Thanks for coming, again you acted as my lifeline to the world. I'll let you know if anything comes up, or it nothing comes up, I'll just call to gossip. Say Hi to Oz for me when he gets back, maybe give him a cliff notes version of what happened."

Willow smiled, "Can do, although I'll more than likely get a blank, 'huh' and that's all."

"I know the feeling sometimes." Buffy replied.

After the two shared a hug, Willow went to catch up to Xander.

Buffy turned to Giles, who had taken Katie from Willow so the girls could say goodbye.

"She does look so much like her father, doesn't she?" He asked, holding the closest thing to a grandchild he would ever have.

"She does, almost creepy similar." She admitted, taking the mini girl Angel into her arms.

"I want you to know Buffy, I'll always be here for you, no matter what. Angel is right that I do have trust issues with his less-that-human side and I'm afraid those issues will not be cured overnight. I am willing to work towards it thou, and I can only hope he can accept that."

"All I'm asking for." Angel said from the doorway of the kitchen.

Giles turned, not realizing the former undead was already back.

"I wasn't listening in" Angel admitted, "Just starving and this happens to be the only room with food in it."

Giles nodded, "Yes, well as I said to Buffy, I'm willing and if you're willing…then for now that makes us fairly good then?" He asked.

"It does." Angel agreed, holding his hand out to shake on.

Giles looked at it a moment before taking in and giving it a good solid shake.

They certainly weren't going to hug, but the handshake gave Buffy a warm and happy feeling.

"Well, I'm going to go as well. I must say your floor is dreadfully uncomfortable and I could really use a hot bath to ease the muscles." The former librarian stated.

"Why didn't you sleep on the couch?" Buffy asked, figuring as the elder he would have gotten first dibs.

"We'll we drew straws…I didn't win." He said simply.

Buffy nodded, "That'll teach you to settle for fair, next time call seniority."

"I'm not that old." He countered.

"You're a grandpa!" She teased, holding up Katie.

"Yes…well…I'll be going. I'm sure those two will be realizing it's a long walk by now. Good day Buffy, Katie."

He turned to Angel who was waist deep in the fridge, "Angel." He stated as good bye.

The man being addressed popped his head up over the door of the appliance, and nodded while stuffing a piece of cold pizza into his mouth.

Buffy rolled her eyes at her husband.

"Bye Giles, Thank you."

Once all the guests were gone, she put an end to Angel's raid of their fridge.

"If you're going to eat, make something for me too. You're children leave me nothing." She said, referring to her breasts converting lunch to milk and Liam stealing her dinner from within.

He grinned, "What do you want?" He asked.

"Food, feed me Seymore!" She cried in a bad 'Little shop of Horror's' plant voice.

"That from the killer plant movie?" He asked.

"Hey, you're finally letting in a little pop culture! I could learn to like this new you." She joked.

"You better like me, I'm what you're stuck with." He said pulling her in and kissed her neck.

She laughed and pushed him off, "Wasn't kidding. Pregnant wife…feed now."

"You're wish is my command." He smirked as he pulled out some eggs to make omelets.

…

Some time later that day.

Angel walked up behind Buffy and wrapped him arms around her pregnant waist, "Part of me wants to be sorry, sorry for not being the human man we thought I'd be when my heart first began to beat." He whispered into her ear.

Buffy partly turned her head to look at him, "Part of you?" she asked.

He reached a hand up and ran a finger down her cheek, "Yeah, the other part just yells 'shut the hell up, at least you're not dead.'"

She shook her head with a slight grin of her face, "I think I can figure out which part is which. So which part are you?" she asked somberly.

He grinned, "Me? I'm just going to be grateful; for a beating heart, for a gorgeous wife, for two beautiful kids, and the strength to protect them."

A tear ran down her face, she was so happy she wanted to cry, but as a defense mechanism against tears she asked, "You just want sex don't you?"

He smiled and shook his head, "No." then he seemed to rethink his answer, "Well, yeah. I always want that, but that's not the reason for this chat." He said pulling her closer.

"So what is the reason?" she asked.

"What?" he asked with a smirk, "I guy can't just want tell his wife he loves her without having some ulterior motive?"

She shook her head, "There has never been a proven case as of yet." She quipped.

"Well consider this a case." He said kissing her temple.

After a beat, "By the way, there's a hokey game on in ten…"

"My favorite show comes on in ten minutes…" She said, realizing he was fighting for their only TV.

"I'll get you a bag of Oreos and a jar of peanut butter…" He bribed.

"You'll eat more than me." She stated.

"I'll let you have your own plate."

_'Oh my god, he's actually serious about this.'_

"Since when do you negotiate?" She question, having never had him do this before.

"Since I gave up being a whinny pushover." He countered.

"You weren't a…well you didn't usually whine about it…out loud." She covered.

"I'll let you watch Passions during commercials." He said, putting them back on track.

"Hey, why don't you watch the game during commercials…all you need to see is the score anyways."

He huffed, "It's not about the final score, its _how_ they scored."

"Keep it up, and you won't score…for a week." She threatened, know that trick always worked.

He smirked, "Like you could resist me for that long."

_'Damn! That always used to work!'_

She frowned, "No fair."

"Fine." He relented, seeing her frown. "I'll watch during the commercials…unless there's a fight. Then you will not get that remote away from me under any conditions."

She thought about it and agreed, she smiles returning. "Ok. Deal."

She went to the couch to get the channels set up as he went to raid the cabinet for snacks.

…

No more to this scene, but the story will go on.


	28. X-Mas Eve and Damseling Drabbles

Christmas Eve, 2005

* * *

"I have a surprise for you." Angel whispered to Buffy from behind as she was finishing wrapping Katie's gifts from 'Santa'.

"What?" she asked, impatient about gifts as ever.

"Come with me." He said, pulling her up and picking up Katie from the playpen. Angel motioned for Buffy to grab her coat as Angel wrapped Katie in a thick blanket and tucked her into his arms.

"Where are we going?" She asked, confused.

"Just outside." He told her.

"I'm not wearing shoes." She stated, looking at her slipper socks.

He handed her Katie then swooped her into his arms, "No longer an issue." He declared.

A moment later he walked them outside and Buffy looked up at the wonderful lights decorating their house.

"I managed to not fall off the roof this year." He said with a smirk.

She stared in awe at the lights a moment, even Katie in her arms looked up at them, an adorable little smile on her face.

Angel made sure to memorize that smile so he could forever capture it in a drawing.

"Well I'm glad you didn't fall off the roof this time, it would be kinda pathetic with no ice or snow to slip on." She burst his bubble.

He grinned is little half-smile, "Yeah, no challenge. But hey, it's starting to snow now…so looks like I finished just in time."

She watched the little flakes as they fell from the sky, she couldn't help but always think of Christmas 99 and to the freak snowstorm that saved Angel's life.

"It's perfect." She said, kissing his cheek. "Now my toes are getting cold so let's go back inside."

He carried them in and placed his wife on the couch, taking Katie from her and unwrapping the baby before she objected to being confined in a loud manor.

Once Katie was back in her playpen, Angel built up the fire, getting it roaring to chase out the cold.

He sat on the couch and Buffy snuggled up to him. His arm wrapped around her and they sat in comfortable silence a few minutes, just watching Katie as she played.

"I'm really liking your 'just us' Christmas eve tradition." She told him, "Makes life so much easier."

"It does." He agreed.

A moment later there was a knock on the door.

Angel grumbled about having to leave the warm and loving arms of his wife and walked to the door to see who was causing the interruption.

He opened the door and grinned, "Was wondering when you were going to show. Now get your butt in the house before you freeze to my doorstep."

Angel walked back into the kitchen, "Look what the snow chased in."

Buffy looked up and smiled, "Connor. I thought you were staying with friends this year." She asked, getting up and hugging her 'eldest son'.

"Whoa" The young man yelp at feeling Buffy's belly. "Man this little guy is growing quick, I swear you weren't even showing last time I saw you."

"Lies will get you everywhere." She smiled.

Angel took Connor's coat, "Hungry? Drink? Anything?" He asked his boy.

Connor shook his head, "I'm good, had dinner about an hour ago."

"So what's up with you?" Buffy asked, "You're friends ditch?"

Connor sat in the armchair as Angel slid back next to his wife.

"Yeah…well a little misunderstanding…nothing big. So I figured, well I'm come home for the holidays for once."

"You're always welcome here, holiday or not." Angel clarified.

"So umm…don't still have a room do I?" He asked, figuring it was converted since he moved out months ago to live with friends.

"We haven't touched it." Buffy told him, "Well except to vacuum, you leave crumbs." She turned to Angel, "Which he didn't get from you since you don't even leave crumbs."

He chuckled, "That would mean letting food escape…that's not an option."

"Sweet." The boy smiled, relieved he still had a place to crash.

"Was about to talk Angel into watching 'Frosty the Snowman' with me and Katie, want to join?" she asked the youth.

Connor couldn't help but hide a laugh at the face Angel made behind Buffy's back, "Yeah, why not. Might be fun in an embarrassing sit-with-your-parents-and-watch-cartoons sort of way."

Half way through the movie Buffy noticed Connor was sound asleep, his little sister just as soundly sleeping in his lap. She turned to point the adorable sight out to Angel, but he was silently snoring too.

She elbowed him.

He snapped awake, "Yeah, it was good, lets watch it every year." He said quickly, pretending he wasn't just sleeping.

"Movie isn't over yet." She deadpanned, and then pointed at their kids.

He smiled when he saw his boy and baby girl curled up together. "There's a sight I could watch forever."

She snuggled closer to him, "Yeah."

His hand rubbed her belly, feeling a strong kick he grinned, "I think Liam wants to join them."

"He can…you know in a few months…when he's actually born." She indicated.

He kissed her temple. "I hope every Dec 24 is just like this."

She yawned, suddenly feeling sleepy. "Me too." She said, letting her eyes slip shut as she listened to the cartoon playing in the background. "Except me being pregnant…we can skip that _every_ year…" She added before dozing off.

Some time later, Angel noticed Buffy was sound asleep. Carefully he picked her up and carried her upstairs and placed her under their covers. As he moved back her hand gripped his shirt, not letting him go.

"Stay." She mumbled, half-asleep.

"Just putting the kids to bed, I'll be right back." He assured her, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Reluctantly she let go and slipped back to sleep.

He collected Katie from her brother, gave the still sleeping seven month old a diaper change and settled her into her crib. "Night baby doll." He whispered, kissing her little cheek.

He quickly unmade Connor's bed and pulled some more comfortable sleeping clothes out of the drawer.

Back down stairs he nudged Connor's leg, "Come on kid, don't make me carry you to bed too." He joked.

Connor yawned and sat up, "Huh?"

"Bed, go to." Angel repeated.

Connor nodded, still half asleep as Angel guided him upstairs.

"Night Con" Angel said, giving his son a quick kiss on his head. "Glad you're home."

Angel slipped the door shut and headed to bed himself, eager to snuggle with Buffy.

Connor yawned again and changed into the clothes on his bed. It wasn't until he was under the covers that he realized his dad had kissed him.

'_Ok, that's new. Actually, he's been weird all night…more…open.'_

After a moment of shocked silence, he realizes he like it. Not in a sick 'I'm into my dad' sort of way, just as a son receiving love and affection from his usually awkward, emotionally reserved, father.

He fell asleep feeling lighter than he'd been all week.

* * *

January 24, 2006

Buffy placed her squirming toddler into the child seat of the shopping cart. The nine month old clutched at the toys on the carriage cover then looked around, her chocolate brown eyes big and wide at all the sights and sounds of the grocery store.

Buffy smiled at her daughter, "You love the market, don't you Katie?"

The baby clapped in response and giggled, as Buffy began her shopping.

"Dis?" Katie would ask pointing to various items, Buffy would smile and reply with the name of the item her daughter was asking about. The young girl would repeat the word, or try to, then move on to the next.

Buffy rounded the corner into the fruit and vegetable section when she heard "Buffy Summers?"

Buffy turned and noticed a group of girls, now young woman, from Hemrey High she used to be close friends with before she became the Slayer.

Jennifer Walkens, Kimberly Hannah and Nicole Bobbittson stood smiling at her, each of them displaying an air of perfection rivaling that of Cordelia Chase when she was in high school.

Her eyes widened in recognition, "O my god, I haven't seen you guys in like…forever!" she said as she hugged each one of them, an awkward task with her stomach swollen in late 3rd trimester pregnancy.

Suddenly each of the young women dropped the niceties and glared down at Buffy like something fowl on the bottom of a prized pair of shoes.

"Wow, Buffy. You…changed quite a bit." Jen commented looking at Buffy's tummy and the baby in the cart.

"Yeah, I mean…what have you done to your hair?" Nikki asked as she ran a hand over her own perfectly done locks.

"And your outfit? Gag worthy." Kim concluded.

Buffy's eyes dropped to her, what she thought was a cute and trendy maternity top and stretchy pants and her hand touched the loose pony tail on her head, she suddenly felt less than nothing, fashion wise anyways.

"Knocked up with a baby already?" Kim's belittled tone aimed at Buffy then turned to her friends, adding "Probably different fathers and no ring on her finger either. Sad really."

Buffy thought to pull her wedding ring from under her shirt. She kept in on a necklace Angel bought her for her birthday out of fear her fingers would swell and the ring would have to be cut off. It turned out, she didn't need the ring, something better walked in.

A moment later the most gorgeous man any of the three women had ever seen walked over towards them, they all smiled eager to talk with the tall dark handsome stranger.

They all looked on in shocked horror as he walked past them without a glance and kissed Buffy passionately.

"Sorry I'm late, couldn't find a place to park." Angel said to her as he wrapped an arm around her swollen waist.

Katie clapped in the cart at seeing her father, "DaDee!" she repeated and he gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, "Hey sweetie."

"Guys" Buffy said to her shocked 'friends', "This is my _husband_, Angel."

He looked at them quickly, and nodded "Hi" before returning his gaze back to his wife and child.

Buffy savored the looks of shock on the women's faces.

"Did you want me to shop while you catch up with your friends?" he asked.

"No, that's OK, we were done talking. Bye guys" she waved as she looped her arms around Angel's impressive bicep.

The three girls stood staring with their mouths open as the happy family disappeared around the corner.

Once out of earshot of her 'friends' Buffy leaned into Angel, "Thanks" she said looking up at him.

"Not often I get to rescue a damsel in distress anymore." He said with a smirk.

She smiled, "Yeah, well I guess even the best of us have our moments of damseling. I'll have to thank you properly when we get someplace more private."

His smirk turned into a full blown smile and he placed a kiss on her head.

"Do you often pick up dashingly handsome hero-type men at the supermarket?" he asked teasing.

"No, but I could make an exception, just this once." She teased back, her eyes trading wordless messages with his.

Needless to say, they finished shopping in record time.

...


	29. Welcome Liam

February 8, 2006

* * *

Angel's eyes were shut as he lounged lazily beneath Buffy, his fingers on one hand trailing patterns on her back as the other hand caressed over her to term belly.

Buffy nuzzled in closer to him, her body still humming from their recent lovemaking.

He was half-way to sleep when he realized something felt different about Buffy, her scent was changing, her body too. He frowned and opened his eyes, looking down at his half-asleep wife. It took him a few seconds to realize he recognized this scent she was unconsciously radiating.

"You're going into labor." He stated bluntly to her, after a moment, a smirk sneaked across his lips.

"Huh?" Buffy replied, voice heavy with drowsiness. "I'm what now?"

"Going into labor." He repeated now she was more awake.

"And how would you know that?" She questioned, finding it absurd that he would know that before her.

"You're body is changing…I can…sense it…it's the same as when you went into labor with Katie" He clarified.

She frowned, "You smell something don't you…you know I hate when you smell me."

"You smell amazing." He whispered into her ear.

"Gross invasion of privacy." She countered, "Not to mention I probably just smell like you and sex…"

Angel just grinned lecherously.

She rolled her eyes.

"We might want to think about leaving soon." He said after a moment.

"You're serious aren't you? I'm in labor?" She asked.

"Well you didn't notice until late stage before…" He suggested.

"Well I was panicking after knocking you out cold...still…it feels like I should…feel something." She argued.

Just then Liam began kicking wildly.

"Ok, feeling that." She said sitting up.

…

Ten minutes later they were in the SUV, bags pre-packed and heading to Angel Investigations.

They were both thankful Katie hadn't woken as Angel tucked her into the car seat, that would have made the late night trip far more hectic.

As they drove, Buffy began to feel her body preparing for labor. Unlike normal girls, there wasn't a 15+ hour process, it seemed to happen for Slayers all at once.

Luckily they arrived at the medical wing of the company with plenty of time before the real contractions started, unlike with Katie and their barley making it before she decided to greet the world.

…

Twenty-five minutes after Angel first noticed the change in his wife, they sat together on the narrow hospital bed as Dr. Cassidy examined Buffy.

"Yup, you are defiantly dilating at a freaky fast pace." The doctor agreed as she sat up and looked up at the two sets of anxious eyes. "I'd give you another ten minutes…maybe less if you factor in your last delivery speed, which I will never forgive you for by the way."

Dr. Cassidy had been very miffed indeed when her patient decided to deliver the one night she wasn't on call and to deliver so fast she couldn't have arrive before the birth.

"Wasn't really an option." Buffy mouthed, beginning to feel the contractions.

Angel held her hand, squeezing when he felt her muscles twitch from pain.

"I'm just going to grab my catcher's mitt." Doc Cass joked and snuck out to prepare.

Angel scooted closer, drawing his wife against him and doing anything possible to help ease her pain, mostly talking. "Well this shouldn't be as terrifying as the first time…you're a seasoned mother now."

"You make me sound like a French fry…and once doesn't make me a veteran." She countered.

"Ok…well then just don't break my hand again and I'll be quiet." He offered.

She shook her head, "I didn't do it on purpose!" She alarmed back, successfully forgetting about the pain for a second. "You should have said I was squeezing too tight, or just not of held it to begin with…" she ranted, still feeling bad after all this time.

He smirked and kissed her brow, "I want to hold it." He said as her ran his thumb over the back of her hand.

She smiled at him and rested her head on his shoulder. "Good, because I want you to."

…

When the painful contractions really started, Doctor Cassidy was in place and Angel just held Buffy tightly, whispering words of encouragement into her ear as she pushed to her doctor's commands.

Cassidy set up a mirror at the end of the bed so Buffy and Angel could see what was going on from Cassidy's viewpoint.

At first the reflection made Angel partly nauseous, seeing his wife's normally petite form stretching and…oozing various fluids. He swallowed bile more than once. However, towards the end, when he could watch his son's head cresting…he saw the beauty in it, the wonders of the female body and how it adapted for childbirth.

He and Buffy both watched in silent awe as Liam made his entrance into the world.

A moment later, a shrill sound echoed off the walls of the room. Liam's first cries bring tears to his parent's eyes.

Angel proudly cut the cord and watched eagerly as the nurse weighed and measured him.

"8 pounds, 4 ounces. 21 inches long. He's normal height and weight. Lungs sound clear, has all his digits..." She said, putting him into a diaper, a little blue onesie, then swaddling him in a matching receiving blanket and hat. "All yours daddy." She said, handing Angel his son.

With an impossibly wide grin, Angel rushed back to Buffy with their precious cargo.

"He looks nothing like me." He joked as she slipped the blond baby to his mother.

Buffy instant ignored everything Doctor Cassidy had been telling her as her son appeared in her arms. "Oh my god, he's so cute…he has my nose…look, that's my nose." She fawned.

"He's perfect." Angel agreed, kissing his wife's temple.

* * *

February 10, 2006 - First night home with Liam

Buffy was panicking. "We need to go back to the hospital!" she practically yelled at Angel as he walked into the house.

_'A short two hour patrol seemed like a good idea at the time, guess I was wrong._'He thought dejected.

"What? Why? Did something happen?" he asked quickly in fear for his young children.

"Liam isn't nursing. He hasn't eaten since we got home! I can't get him to drink. He's been crying for hours…and Katie's crying…and I can't get them to stop…" She was in tears herself by then.

Angel quickly wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her forehead, "Shh Buffy, It's going to be alright. I'll take Liam, I'll try a bottle. Go take a nice hot bath, you need to relax, ok love?"

He took the newborn from her and she nodded. As much as she loved her son, holding a crying baby for hours does tend to wear on the nerves. She went upstairs to take the much needed break from the kids.

Angel went into the kitchen and took one of the breast milk bottles from the refrigerator and popped it into the microwave.

"Hey champ, dinner's almost ready. Shh, now. No more fussing." He talked to the infant, rocking him and trying to sooth him into silence.

The microwave beeped it was ready and Angel grabbed the bottle, shook it, then tested the temperature by squeezing a few drops onto his wrist. "Alright, here you go." He said as he held the nipple to his son's mouth.

The two day old simply refused.

Angel could hear Katie crying upstairs, while trying to feed the baby he went to get her.

When he entered her bedroom, Katie was standing in her crib, face red from crying. "Hey honey, what's with the waterworks?"

She looked at the baby he was holding and cried harder.

"Not so happy to have a little brother are you?" He put the bottle down since Liam wasn't accepting it and shifted the baby against his shoulder so he could grab Katie from her crib with his other hand.

She put her arms up and he wrapped a big hand around her waist and lifted her, "Want to meet your brother sweetie?"

He sat Indian style on the floor, Katie sitting between his legs, and held Liam out in front of her so she could see him.

He un-swaddled the newborn from his blanket so he could hold Liam's tiny hand against Katie's.

"See honey, he's just like you. But he's smaller."

She looked fascinated at the baby, she looked up at her father and pointed to Liam, "Dis?"

"His name's Liam, can you say Liam?"

She looked at him a moment, then tried, "Eeum"

He smiled, "Yeah, Liam."

She touched her brother's hand again and squealed when he squeezed her finger.

"Dada…bubba?" she said a few minutes later, toddler attention span at a maximum.

"You hungry sweetie?" he asked.

She nodded. "Ok, let go get you some dinner"

He swaddled Liam back up in his blanket, tucked the infant bottle into his pocket, and picked Katie up in his other arm.

...

When he got to the kitchen he buckled Katie into her highchair and grabbed a bigger formula bottle from the fridge and popped it into the microwave.

She fussed a bit in annoyance about have to wait.

"Ok, ok, it's coming" he said as he got the bottle from the microwave and tested the temperature. He held the bottle up to her mouth and she latched on, then snatched the bottle from his hand and held it herself.

He smiled, "That's my girl. Little miss independent."

Liam was still crying against his shoulder, so as Katie drank her bottle he tried again to get his son to drink.

He didn't have much luck...or any actually.

Ten minutes later, Katie was finished her bottle and she started rubbing her eyes with her hands.

Angel gently brushed her brown bangs back from her face and asked her, "Tired honey?"

She nodded and yawned.

He pulled the tabletop off the highchair and lifted his daughter into the crook of his arm.

He walked back up the stairs to the nursery, laid Liam in his crib for a minute while he changed Katie's diaper and put her in clean pjs. He brought Katie into her room and laid her down in her crib. "Goodnight sweetheart" he said and kissed her forehead and tucked her in, she was already asleep.

He went back to the nursery and changed Liam's diaper too, _'Why not'_ he thought, even though the boy hadn't eaten.

Buffy walked into the nursery as he finished redressing Liam.

"Did he accept the bottle?" she asked hopeful.

Angel shook his head, "No, Katie did. She's sleeping now at least."

Buffy walked over and leaned her head on Angel's arm, "I don't get it, he was nursing fine at the hospital. What am I doing wrong?" She huffed, still frustrated and worried about her son.

"Come on" he said, wrapping his free arm around her and leading her into the bedroom.

He sat on the bed, back against the headboard and had her sit down against him, resting her back against his chest. He put Liam in her arms and told her to try again, if he didn't drink, they would bring him to the hospital.

...

"He's not nursing" she said frustrated after a few minutes.

"Hey, it's alright Love, just relax. I think it's because you're so tense" He kissed her head and pulled her back against him, he wrapped one arm around her, helping support the baby, and with the other hand he brushed her hair back from her face and ran his fingers down her cheek. "Just relax Buffy. Everything will be fine."

She snuggled against him, drawing strength from him. "It's hard." She said, referring to having a ten month old and a newborn.

"I know. I'm sorry." He apologized for putting her in this situation.

"No" she sighed, "It's not your fault, you were actually trying to sleep that night, I was the frisky one."

He grinned, "I could have said no."

She sent him a look that said _'yeah right._'

He laughed quietly, "Ok, yeah, so no chance of that happening."

She smiled, knowing the power she still had over him, soul/demon merger or not.

A minute later she felt Liam finally latch on and begin to nurse.

She smiled, "Finally" she breathed as relief washed over her. She watched the little bundle in her arms for a while, "He's going to look just like me, my blond hair, my hazel green eyes, my nose." She whispered to Angel.

"Yeah, I think your right." After a beat, "Let's hope he doesn't have your height."

She sent him a glare that would have dusted a vampire.

He simply chuckled.

After a while she felt her eyelids grow heavy, "Uhh, so tired." She said while she yawned.

"Then sleep" he whispered into her ear.

"Ahh, kinda busy here." She nodded towards the baby in her arms.

He grinned, "You don't actually need to be awake, he knows what he's doing. Besides, I'm holding you. Sleep, I'll watch him."

She leaned her head back against his shoulder, "I guess, but only for a minute." She whispered back. As soon as her eyes shut, she was sound asleep, the last few days of excitement, her worry and the wear of labor finally draining her batteries.

When Liam finished nursing, Angel gently lifted Buffy off of himself and laid her more comfortably onto the bed, he then gently took Liam from her embrace.

He tossed a spit rag over his shoulder then proceeded to burp the fussing infant. After a few minutes, he burped and Angel laid him into the bassinet by the bed.

"Night champ" he said as he tucked him in and kissed him goodnight.

Angel yawned himself and climbed back into bed.

He adjusted Buffy's nursing bra, covering her back up, then he curled up next to her.

He shut the lights and fell fast asleep.

...


	30. Love Bites, Part 1

Sorry about such a long wait. I've been reading more fan-fiction than writing it and I've recently discovered I have a serious addition to 'Bones'. Damn that impossibly good looking and incredibly funny David Boreanaz...Anyone else notice so many Angel references in that show?

* * *

Love Bites, Part 1

February 14, 2006

* * *

After another long and strenuous day, their 10 month old daughter and their week old son were finally sleeping.

"Apocalypses are easier." Buffy mumbled as she collapsed onto their bed.

Angel smirked, pondering if dealing with two babies really was worse than fighting the end of the world. As he changed into a clean pair of sweatpants he pulled a tissue box size wrapped gift from his underwear drawer.

He knew he had to act quickly before his wife succumbed to exhaustion.

He slipped into bed beside her and kissed her neck, gently rousing her from half-sleep.

"Umm…sleeping." She mumbled.

"But you haven't opened your present yet." He teased into her ear.

Her brow furrowed, "Present? For what?" She yawned and turned over to face him, unable to resist the lure of a gift.

He kissed her cheek, "Happy Valentines day my love." He whispered as he placed the box into her hands.

Her eyes widened in sudden realization. "Oh crap! Angel, I'm so sorry, I forgot!" She cried feeling horrible since she usually went all out for this special lover's day.

"You already gave me the perfect present." He suggested.

She looked back at his quizzically, as she fingered the gift in her hands.

"We called him Liam Patrick Summers." He clarified.

"Liam isn't a present, he's our son." She retorted.

"Like I said before, I'm not fussy. Now open it." He said with an impatient smile.

She quickly pulled the little red heart wrapping paper off the box and gasped in awe.

In her hands was an intricately carved dark wooden box, on the cover was a hand inscribed image of roses and hearts, written in Angel's fanciest script was 'You are my Forever.'

She looked at him, eyes watering.

"Open it." He repeated.

She looked back down at the artwork in her hand and unlocked the silver clasp to lift the lid. When it was open she realized it was a jewelry box, lined with red crushed velvet and complete with compartments for rings, bracelets and pendants.

"Its…I don't even have words to say how beautiful this is…how? When did you make this?" She asked, knowing it must have taken a lot of time and effort of his part.

"I have a lot of free time at work lately." He mused.

"Liar." She retorted, knowing they had been rather busy at Angel Investigations...she being on maternally leave the last few months left her supervising more that participating.

"For you…I always make time. Besides, I'm the boss…who's going to complain."

"Me." She countered, "We are co-bosses…so I can complain if you're slacking at work."

"So you're going to scold me right after I gave you a Valentine's Day gift, which you forgot about, by-the-way…" He countered with a hidden grin.

"Hey, I've been a little preoccupied with birthing your child mister." She stated with a finger to his chest.

"That was a week ago…" He pushed.

"Yeah, takes more than a week to raise a baby." She retorted, unsure he was playing or angry.

"Are we really going to start an argument right now? It's not exactly romantic." He asked, the hidden grin peaking out.

She smirked, "You think you're getting laid don't you?"

"Well you do owe me a present." He smirked, snaking a hand around her waist and puller her closer.

She pulled back, breaking his grip, "We discussed this, sex isn't a present."

"You're right, but by the guidelines of our marriage and the fact it's a holiday specifically designed for lovers, I deem sex is an entitlement tonight." He grinned lustfully and kissed at her neck.

"Excuse me?" she mocked, gently shoving him back, "Entitlement? I don't think so, Pal. I'm your wife, not a sex toy."

"You could be both." He suggested huskily.

She punched him not so gently in the arm.

"Wear that naughty nurse outfit I like so much?" He continued, moving closer.

She folded her arms across her chest, with a lock of mock outrage.

"Could give me a full body check up?" He finished by kissing the tip of her nose.

"You're such as asshole." She said shaking her head.

"Hand carving you a much needed jewelry box makes me an asshole?" He questioned, amused.

"No, demanding sex in exchange makes you an asshole." She clarified.

"Trust me, if I was demanding…you'd know." He grinned, pulling at her panties.

She swatted his hand away.

In return he gave her his best wounded puppy look, eyes as big and sad as possible.

Her heart caved in.

"Don't do that!" She whined, "You know I can't rest that."

"Exactly." He grinned as resumed kissing her neck.

She surrendered to his lips, letting him lower her down onto the soft mattress.

She hadn't actually planned to make him work for sex, but she had secretly enjoyed every second of it. She liked knowing she still held sway over him since his soul and demon merged.

Not to mention she was actually really looking forward to this, it wasn't this first time they'd made love since then, but it would be their first intimacy since Liam was born, so their first time without a basketball wedged between them.

She was curious to know how different he was sexually when he didn't have to be gentle with her belly.

It didn't take long for her to find out.

He was straddling her almost immediately, his tongue in a war with hers for dominance over her mouth.

She reached up and tangled her hands in the short dark spikes of his hair, pulling him closer. She felt his growing arousal pushing against the confines of his sweats and her moistening panties.

He was enjoying being atop her, these last few months her pregnancy had limited their lovemaking positions to a narrow few, but tonight he was determined to display a little dominance by staying on top.

Buffy untangled her right hand and slid her fingers down along his body, seeking to remove the offending material separating her from her lover.

Angel easily shrugged off the sweats and had no remorse for tearing the panties that blocked him.

"Hey! I liked those." Buffy scolded when she heard the telltale rip.

"They were in my way." He said quickly, still actively fighting to win the kissing battle.

Buffy wasn't a normally submissive person, in her everyday life she had to take control of the situation or else she ended up dead. However, in bed with her lover, she was finding being placed in a role of submission was wildly exciting her when it was Angel doing the dominating.

Part of her had been getting extremely frustrated with her husband over the past year of their marriage; his constant 'whatever you want' attitude had been wonderful at first but had rapidly grown stale. His taking charge and not waiting for permission was sending her arousal threw the roof.

Angel moved down Buffy's body, kissing a passionate trail as he went. He knew she was more than ready for the next step but he was finding making her wait to be extremely exciting. Instead of entering her as they both wanted, he pulled her bra down and slipped a nipple into his mouth, deciding to tease her a little longer.

"Angel." Buffy moaned, finding herself almost painfully aroused.

He simply moved to the other nipple, however he hadn't expected to it to seep milk. Not fazed in the slightest, he simply lapped at the dribble, enjoying the taste if her.

He chuckled and pulled back at her burst of embarrassment as she tugged the nursing bra back into place. "Those are off limits." She stated with bright red cheeks.

Instead of continuing with her chest, he simply moved back to her neck, which wasn't lactating.

Realizing Angel was purposefully teasing her senses and making her desire flair, she figured she could play that game too. Buffy traced her fingers down his chest to his exposed manhood and began to stroke him, slowly luring him where she wanted him.

She grinned when he groaned against her shoulder, a shutter of want rushing though him.

"Wait." He whispered against her ear.

"No, now." She demanded, trying to get him inside her.

He pulled his lower half away from her, and placed a slow and loving kiss on her forehead before he sat back and reached for something in his nightstand.

At this point, she was practically pulsing with desire.

She watched in relief when he grabbed the box of condoms from his drawer and snuggled back up to her, resuming his kisses.

"I'm glad on of us remembered…I sure didn't." She admitted as she stole one of the birth control devices from him and prepared to install it.

"Well you made yourself very clear a few months ago." He replied, his last words ending in more of a groan as she slipped the condom onto him.

"What do you mean?" she asked, confused.

_"If you ever get me pregnant with one still in diapers again…I've giving you an at home vasectomy." _He repeated her words from the night they found out she was pregnant with Liam. "Not the kind of thing I'm likely to forget." He finished.

"I didn't say that!" She countered immediately, but after a look from him she relented, "Ok maybe I did…but you know I wouldn't…"

"Normally? No. While souped-up on raging pregnancy hormones? Not a theory I'm willing to test."

Soon after, their small talk dissolved away into something far more passionate.

…

Buffy slowly awoke feeling amazing, tired as hell, but still amazing.

Angel was still mostly atop her, something he'd rarely done before. He always used to roll off her immediately after, like he was afraid he'd crush her. As a slayer, she could chuck him across the room with little effort, so that concept was fairly impossible.

She thought back to a few hours ago, smiling to herself at the tingling feelings she could still feel.

He defiantly was different in the bedroom, and she found it was a positive change for sure. He had always been an amazing lover, conscious of her needs as much or more even than his, but it had seemed like he held back a lot of the time.

He didn't hold back anymore, that's for sure. His touch was more pronounced, his movements harder and deeper, as if he finally realized she wouldn't shatter beneath him.

She witnessed a side of him she'd never seen before, it was almost creepy how in tuned he was to her body. Almost as if he could read her mind.

It was strange, she never realized anything was missing from their love life until a few hours ago, now…she just felt complete.

He was sound asleep, his soft, warm breaths tickling the left side of her neck as he exhaled.

She brushed her right hand threw his dark locks and caressed down his neck to rest over his shoulder blade. His tattoo was slightly out of reach on his opposite shoulder, so she settled for caressing his left. His right arm was lost someplace under her pillow but his left hand was resting on her right shoulder.

She knew from past experience that he wouldn't wake unless she wanted him too, she could roll him over if she desired and he would naturally adjust his position to her as he slept on. She laughed silently at the thought; she'd felt him sleep through her constant repositioning against him when she was heavily pregnant, but also watched him instantly awake if so much as a whimper came from the bassinet.

If any other person tried to touch him as he slept, she knew they would end up with a broken nose at the least.

She loved the feel of his warm smooth skin under her fingertips, his solid but lean muscular form folded into her arms. After a few minutes of light, loving caressing she settled and prepared to fall back to sleep.

Right before she did she scratched an itch on her neck, but as she did, her eyes squinted in confusion when she realized it was a healing itch. Moving her fingers over the area she felt a sudden dread.

'_He bit me?'_ She wondered in shock, feeling the twin wounds he unwillingly inflicted on her graduation day were now re-healing from a very recent opening.

Her eyes fell down to his sleeping features, a sudden nervousness swelling in her as she realized his mouth was resting against her neck on the opposite side. She felt her heart speed up, a mix of anger and confusion warring at her emotions. Her nearly 18 month (nine month per baby) suppressed Slayer instincts flaring at the offense.

Angel stirred, he lifted his head and opened his sleepy eyes when he heard Buffy's heart rate suddenly change.

"Buffy? Everything ok?" He asked, looking around, hearing and seeing nothing out of the ordinary. After a second he looked down at his wife and saw the hurt and anger on her face, his night vision giving him an advantage over her.

Without a word she shoved him off her, a little harder than she intended and since he was still only half-awake he didn't quite recover in time and tumbled off the bed and none-to-gently collided with the floor.

The thump of his body impacting the hardwood sent a bolt of regret though her, but she quickly turned on the light and looked down at him rubbing his head.

"What the hell Buff!" He snipped, finding being thrown out of bed an instant mood killer.

A whimper came from the nearby bassinet, but Liam didn't wake.

The nickname sent a wave of horror threw her, only Angelus ever called her that and she found hearing that name from his mouth caused the same feelings of anger and distrust the demon had always inflicted. Her 'Slay' impulse screaming.

"You bit me." She accused, holding her hand to the already closed wounds.

"So you chuck me out of bed?" He demanded, standing up and wrapping the sheet that fell with him around his waist.

"You drank from me." She repeated, feeling violated, her slayer blood racing for action.

"I've drank for you before." He countered, not seeing any problem with his actions.

"To save your life!" She clarified as she slid out of bed and pulled the sheet into a sort of toga to cover herself.

"So I'm limited to my deathbed before I can drink from you?" He asked, eyes narrowing.

"You want to? You said you didn't crave blood…you lied to me!" she retorted, anger still spinning in her mind. _'He didn't ask, he's making no signs of remorse, he doesn't have a problem taking my blood? If he will take mine, what about the kids? Would he take theirs too?_'

Her motherly instincts kicked in as she stood between him and the bassinet holding their sleeping son.

Her moving in front of Liam's crib didn't go unnoticed to his eye. "I didn't lie. I thought you understood Buff, my demon side is as strong in me as my human side. Occasionally both need to be satisfied. You offered you're blood to me before, I had no reason to think it would bother you." He stated, angry and confused as to why she was so offensive about this.

"It does!" she snapped, feeling her body want to fight.

"I barely took any…" He countered.

"I don't care how much you took! You ate me!" She shot back.

"I didn't drink from hunger, I was reclaiming my mark!" He admitted a moment later.

"Reclaiming?" She demanded, outraged. "What the hell does that mean?"

"I'm a vampire Buff. You think I can't tell another vamp fed from my bite? That I can't sense Dracula sank his fangs into you. That you allowed it…" He countered, feeling both angry and betrayed.

She gasped at him, "Angel that was years ago! And for the record I didn't let him, he used his creepy mind control mojo…which I broke, by the way, and staked him repeatedly."

"It didn't matter; he bit you, it was still his mark. So I made you mine again, it wasn't planned, it just happened."

She fumed at that, "I'm not yours!" She spat, enraged he was treating her like a piece of property.

He recoiled from that, his heart feeling crushed by her words. _'I'm not yours._' His mind raced, she'd indeed said to him she was his, he remembered the words clearly, but apparently she had changed her mind.

"And don't call me Buff." She snipped in anger, hating the nickname from him.

His hands tightened into fists, his anger demanding action.

He stepped forward, towards her.

Sensing his apparent hostility, she stepped back, away from him and away from the potential of a fight. Her body nearly aching with repressed slayage.

Anger flushed through him at her retreat and his demon features surfaced, "So that's all it takes huh Buff? One bite and you turn on me too." He demanded, an intense feeling of rejection flaring inside him.

Her eyes widened and she moved further back from him, shocked at his anger and the flash of madness in his eyes.

A flash of Angelus in the raw.

Her whole body was fighting her slay instinct at his demon surfaced. "I'm not something to claim Angel, I'm a person! What about the kids, do you plan to claim them? Going to leave your mark on them like a possession too!" She vented.

He backed away, his demon side reeling back in at her accusations. "I'd never hurt them, you know that!" He snapped, even more hurt that she'd even suggest it.

"Do I? I thought I knew you, apparently I don't." She stated hotly.

He turned, grabbed a handful of his clothes and walked out.

Realization flooded threw her and she called back, "Where are you going?"

"You don't want me here. I'm gone." He snapped, slamming the bedroom door behind him.

A cry shot from the bassinet beside the bed as the loud noises roused the sleeping baby lying within.

A few seconds later she heard the front door slam, then she couldn't feel him anymore; he was out of range of her senses.

On auto pilot she walked to the crib and lifted her week old son into her arms. "Shh, it's ok Liam." She soothed as she rocked him back to sleep and laid him back in the crib.

The fight replayed over and over in her head; the bitter words, the angry accusations, she was still raving mad at him.

'I'm gone.' His last words echoed in her head.

'_What the hell did he mean by that! Did he...leave me?'_

Needing answers she picked up her phone and dialed Giles number.

On the fifth ring a sleepy British voice answered. Buffy felt a pang of guilt over the ungodly hour, but her questions needed addressing.

"Giles, sorry about the time, but I need to know everything about vampires marking their victims." She demanded.

The phone was silent a moment, the watcher still shaking off sleep.

"Buffy, vampires don't mark their victims…they kill them. Some have been know to mark their mates as a form of commitment. The bite signifying possession and offering protection from other vampires..." After a momentary pause, "Has something happened between you and Angel?" He asked, figuring with the lateness of the hour it was highly likely.

She digested his words a moment but remained silent_. 'Possession and protection?'_

"He bit you didn't he?" The watcher probed.

"Yeah." She replied, thankful she didn't have to say it.

"Not to be crass Buffy, but he had bitten you before. You carry his mark already, do you not?" He asked, confused why she would be asking about something that happen on her graduation from high school.

"I have a scar, yeah but he threw this whole, I'm his, crap at me. I'm not a possession! He made it sound like Dracula biting me was this whole betrayal or something."

"Oh." Giles commented, "And what happened?"

"He left" She said quietly. "He bite me, we argued, he left."

Giles rubbed his eyes, his glasses being on his bedside table, he chose to forgo cleaning them.

"He brought up Dracula by name?" Giles questioned.

"Yeah, which is absurd since it happened how many years ago?" She complained.

"Before tonight, when has Angel last…bitten you?" Giles inquired.

"Graduation day." She stated blankly.

"I think I understand…Buffy when Dracula reopened your scar, he re-marked you as his." Giles tried.

"That what Angel said…which is stupid! Some fang pokes don't determine who I belong to." She interrupted.

"Not for humans, no, but to vampires…it does. Tell me, how did Angel react to the scar before the merger?  
"He avoided it like the plague…" She spoke, the light dawning. "So why all of a sudden the 'reclaiming' crap, why didn't he just do it before?"

"Buffy, Angel is not the same man you married. When his soul and demon merged, we all knew it would cause changes in him. One of those changed is a stronger tie to his demon heritage. I assume he would have 'reclaimed' his mark sooner, but he refrained because you were with child."

"Oh." Buffy sighed, her mind whirling with the new info.

"May I ask, what did you say to him before he left?"

She gave her watcher the cliff notes version of their earlier fight.

She heard Giles sigh heavily into the phone. "Oh dear."

"What?" she demanded.

"Well I understand why he left. Buffy, when he remarked you and you denied him…it's the vampire equivalent to throwing your wedding ring in the trash."

"What! But I didn't, I'm wearing it! He didn't take his off!" She panicked.

"Regardless, the symbolism stands. By denying his mark you basically told him his demon side wasn't welcome, that you don't accept who he is." The older man explained.

She absently rubbed the healed wound. "But…but that's not true! I do...I just don't accept being an object!"

"He wasn't marking you as his object; he was marking you as his mate." He clarified.

"Mate? That sounds like something animals do in the zoo." She dismissed.

"Mate, wife, spouse, partner, companion…it's all the same. Vampires typically lack souls, so soulmate shortens to just mate." The watcher explained.

"I…I told him I didn't want to be his wife?" She asked, horrified.

"Essentially…yes." Giles agreed.

"I have to go." She whispered and hung up.

Numbness rushed though her and she felt the hard wood of their bedroom floor impact her knees as her legs gave way. "Oh god, what have I done?" She whispered to her empty bedroom, her eyes stinging with hot tears, and her right hand covering her mouth to keep the cries inside. Her left hand tightly clenching around her wedding ring. "What have I done?"

…

Angel had dropped the sheet in the hall as he passed threw the house, pulling on his clothes with super sonic speed.

Angelus worthy rage coursing throughout his entire body. He wanted to hit something, repeatedly.

_'She denied me. She doesn't want to be with me. Is this it? Are we over?'_ His mind raced as he slammed the door and walked out into the cold, dark night.

…

The bed felt far too big and cold with just her in it, after hours of restless staring at the clock she decided sleep wasn't going to happen.

She felt sick over the fight between her and Angel only hours ago. She had wanted to go out and find him immediately, but she couldn't leave the kids alone and it was too late to call anyone else.

Plus she knew if Angel didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.

Sluggishly she got up and as her feet glided across the floor towards the bathroom her big toe impacted something. "Ow, what the…" She looked down and picked up the offending object.

A fresh stab of guilt sliced into her heart.

In her hands was the jewelry box Angel had given her earlier that night. The words 'You are my forever' were mocking her as she looked down at it.

Pushing away the tears, she set the beloved object down delicately on her bureau and smoother her hand over the letters.

With a lump in her gut she turned back to the bathroom, decided she needed a shower at wash off the shame.

A cry from the bedroom caught her attention as she washed her hair.

"_Damn it."_ She cursed and rushed out of the shower, realizing there was no one else to answer the cry.

A few minutes later she stood in a wet towel with her week old son in her arms, trying to sooth the babe.

After a moment she realized it was hunger that fueled the outburst of cries. However after almost an hour of trying she found herself in the same boat as Liam's first night home. He wouldn't eat.

Remembering how the problem was rectified before, she sat on the bed and leaned back, trying to release all the tension from her body, clear her mind and just relax.

No matter how hard she tried, the lump of guilt and worry over Angel wouldn't go away, but her body relaxed enough for Liam to finally latch onto her nipple and feed.

Once Liam was settled again, Buffy went to check on Katie.

As she walked into the hall she nearly tripped over the discarded sheet Angel had worn as he stormed out. With a heavy heart, she folded it and placed it back on the bed where it belonged, wishing the former occupant would do the same.

She checked on Katie, finding the tot to be sleeping soundly and oblivious to the earlier shouts. '_This kid sleeps deeper than most teenagers._' Buffy pondered as she swept a dark curl from her daughters face. She bent and placed a kiss upon her brow, feeling drawn to the little face the so reflected her father's.

Satisfied her two children were sound asleep, she quickly finished showering the conditioner from her hair and got dressed.

Figuring she might as well start the day, she carried the bassinet with Liam sleeping inside and headed downstairs towards the kitchen in desperate need for a coffee.

She put the little crib against the living room wall so her newborn son was close enough to watch, but outside the kitchen so the lights and sounds wouldn't rouse him.

When she rounded the corner into the kitchen she nearly jumped out of her skin when she walked into someone.

Buffy swallowed a scream as she looked up into the darkness and Angel's scowling face.

Her heart skipped a few beats, "What are you doing here?" She blurted, not expecting to see him home so soon and surprised she hadn't felt him return.

"Last time I checked, I lived here." He stonewalled as he maneuvered past her.

She winced, realizing what she said a moment too late.

"I didn't mean it like that." She tried, but he was already up the stairs and ducking into the bedroom.

She sighed, but figuring he was at home was a good sign, she went for the coffee pot.

A few minutes later she was listening to the drip of future coffee pooling into the pot.

The sun was just rising as she sat at the table with her sadly decaffeinated but still better than nothing coffee. _'Why can caffeine be transmitted through breast milk? Shouldn't evolution have fixed that problem? Tired moms need caffeine!'_

She was contemplating going upstairs to confront Angel when he walked into the kitchen, Katie in his arms. She noticed he'd showered and changed, wearing the leather trench coat that he usually wore when patrolling.

"She's hungry." He stated, placing the 10 month old into her highchair.

"Daddy" The tot repeated a few times, her current favorite word. She looked over to Buffy and cried "Mamee!" obviously oblivious to the tension between her parents.

"I was just going to make breakfast" Buffy mentioned quietly, "Are you staying?" she asked uncertain after a moment.

"No." He looked at the coffeepot then seemed to decide against it, instead he pulled a box of cheerios off the counter and dropped a handful in front of Katie, who instantly began scooping them up, eating some, playing with the others. It would at least hold her over until Buffy prepared a real breakfast.

"Where are you going?" She asked, afraid he was leaving for good.

"Work." He replied, grabbing a package of pop-tarts from the cabinet then vanishing from the room.

Buffy mentally kicked herself for not cornering him and went to follow, but he was already out the door. _'Damn, his demonic speed is really annoying this morning...'_

Her shoulders sagged when she heard his Plymouth GTX roar to life and speed away.

'_At least he didn't have a suitcase._' She added positively. '_Although he did have his favorite leather coat…_' Her mind added destructively.

She went back into the kitchen, forcing a smile for Katie and asking what she wanted for breakfast.

"Daddy!" Was her reply.

"Me too, Katie. Me too." Buffy mumbled as she prepared for the morning routine, minus her husband.

…

Angel sat back in his office chair, arms folded across his chest, a brooding grimace set across his lips.

He hated the way it felt, for that last few months he figured the 'tortured soul' routine was dead…apparently he was wrong.

_'Even Buffy doesn't trust you.' _

That thought buzzed around in his mind like a noisy fly, seeming so tiny and insignificant, but impossible to ignore.

_'She hates you. She doesn't want you. She wanted a human husband and she got stuck with you!'_

He lashed out at the items on his desk, sweeping the desk calendar, ceramic coffee mug, pencil holder and phone onto the floor in a clatter. He stood up and ran his hands through his hair, trying in vein to cool his temper.

"I was never this touchy." He grumbled, knowing his mean streak came from his demon side and also knowing there wasn't much he could do about it.

In the past, it took a long time to get the normally cool Angelus worked into a rage, but once there, he stayed a while or until the object of his anger was very dead.

Since he knew there was absolutely no way he was harming Buffy, he knew he needed to figure out how to control his anger in a realistic way.

He didn't bother cleaning up the mess on the floor and headed towards the elevator, intending to hit the gym/training center and knock the punching bag around for awhile, maybe spar with some of the tougher slayers to ease his frustrations and think clearly.

If he wasn't fighting with Buffy at the moment, he would have gone to her to talk. She more than likely would have told him that despite his dual demonic/human nature he was still only human when it came to his emotions.

His own deepest insecurities about his darker side had been surfaced by the one he had been closest too, Buffy's reaction to him had hurt worst than any knife and he could still feel the blade lodged in his chest.

Every breath seemed to push it in a little deeper. _'She denied you, she doesn't want to be with you.'_

Because his Angelus side was now merged to his soul, instead of retreating from things that bothered him, he felt compelled to face them.

Of course he soon discovered Buffy was the one person he couldn't bring himself to contend with, not in a physically hitting sense anyways.

Thus he suppressed his anger and brooded instead, leaving the soul to bear the burden.

Upon entering the gym, his attention was diverted by a huge beast materializing out of nowhere. "What the…" was as far as his thoughts went before his mind switch to 'Kill it' mode.

The creature screamed as Angel drove a handy sword threw its leg, and the later widely missed a swipe of revenge.

The living vampire was holding his own when a few of the slayers joined.

Everything would have been fine if one of them didn't make a near fatal mistake.

A young slayer in training named Melody went in for a disembowelment, Angel recognized the mistake it would be for trying to slice open this particular demon's gut with a much too dull training sword.

Without thinking he rushed forwards, pushing the girl back.

His attention diverted to the young girl, he failed to notice the demon rear back its huge arm, nor did he see it swing at him.

He would have felt it, but the force of him flying into the air was cut short by the two glass windows he smashed threw and ended abruptly as he impacted a solid concrete wall.

He fell to the ground in a bone heap.

...

TBC...


	31. Love Bites, Part 2

Love Bites, Part 2

February 15, 2006

* * *

Dr. Cassidy rushed into the medical ward and to her patient at the request of the new paging system.

"Can't even get one damn coffee break around here." She grumbled as she pulled on her latex gloves. "Ok, who's broken now?" She asked.

"Oh shit, the Boss." Her face fell when she realized her patient was a very bloody and unconscious Angel.

His body was covered in various cuts from the two glass windows he was thrown threw, making his natural healing ability depleted from so many numerous injuries at once.

Before she could even put a bandage on the first wound, Angel's eyes snapped open, revealing a pair feral yellow orbs.

In an instant he was off the cot, swatting it away and growling ferociously at anything near him. His body releasing all the pent up rage he had suppressed for the entire morning.

"Angel?" Dr. Cass asked as she slowly inched towards him, arms raised as if approaching a wild animal.

He turned, eyes blazing and fangs bared.

"Oh…not good." She whispered, realizing he wasn't currently in control of all his facilities.

Backing away slowly but with a steady pace and making no sudden movements, she flashed some rapid hand signals to those also in the room to do the same.

Angel attacked the nearest thing, luckily a tray of medical tools and not a person.

Not a moment too soon she slammed the Med-Ward doors shut and smashed the well placed lock shut.

"Someone, get Buffy here…Now!" she urged, knowing the door wouldn't hold him for long if he chose to attack.

The sounds of cots and medical equipment crashing to the floor from behind the door sent a pang of remorse threw her gut.

_'Angel's gone insane…now my day is complete._' She thought sarcastically, inside praying Buffy got here in time.

…

Buffy was sitting on the floor of her living room with Katie. The later fascinated by the building blocks she was piling atop one another.

"Good job." Buffy apprised, still feeling terrible over this mornings fight but not letting her daughter see the pain.

In response Katie clapped her hands.

Buffy smiled, "You're a natural already. Soon you'll be building a tree house in the backyard." _'With your daddy_.' She thought silently.

Suddenly someone materialized in front of her. "Buffy!"

Buffy jumped and reflexively grabbed Katie away from potential harm, a second later she recognized Willow.

"Will! I told you not to do that!" Buffy would have continued but the look of fright on Willow's face halted her. "What's wrong?"

"Angel…now!" She urged.

"What! What happened?" The slayer demanded, standing up, a sick feeling crawling into her gut.

Just then Liam began crying from his bassinet a few feet away, disturbed by the noise.

"Angel's hurt, Cass can't fix him because he's in like… berserker mode. She needs you to knock him out or something, like really soon." Willow rushed.

"But…what…I can't leave the kids and Liam's too small to travel…" Buffy startled.

"I'll just teleport us all." Willow stated.

"No! No teleporting my children! Just…send me…watch them?" Buffy urged.

Willow simply nodded and cast the spell. A few dizzying seconds later Buffy was standing next to Cass right outside the Med-Ward.

"Buffy! Thank god. I don't care what you do, just bring Angel down so I can get the IV in him." Dr. Cassidy explained quickly when Buffy appeared next to her.

"What's wrong with him?" Buffy asked worried and confused as Cass led her to the door.

"Behavior indicates traumatic brain injury and desanguination induced in a complete loss of normal conscious thought, leaving the feral animalistic part of his mind exposed as his body reacts violently to negative impulses and stored aggression." The doctor rambled.

"Huh?" Buffy asked.

"He's all Grr." Cass simplified.

Buffy nodded, "Ok, but why call me? If you need him down fast why not just taser him or use a dart gun?" She questioned, knowing both where highly effective.

"He's weakened, running on adrenalin, an electrical shock or heart slowing drugs would more than likely kill him on impact. Judging by the rate of blood loss, he only has maybe 5-10 minutes before he bleeds to death." The doctor quickly explained.

All the color drained from Buffy's face. "Death?" She whispered, until just then not understanding the severity of the situation.

'_No, no he's not_.' Without another word she opened the door and went in.

The room was a disaster. Cots and medical equipment scattered across the floor. For a second, she thought she was alone, but then the shadows rippled. Yellow eyes floated from the darkness, followed by a familiar growl.

"Angel?" Buffy called out. "It's me, Buffy." She spoke, slowly moving towards the corner of the room. "Your wife." She emphasized.

He stalked from the shadows, as the light spread over him Buffy gasped at the amount of blood that oozed from the numerous cuts.

"Angel?" she repeated, moving closer.

He growled again, and she could see the feral behind his eyes, the unchecked anger. She'd seen this once before, directly after his return from hell, when she'd found him wandering the woods in a mindless haze.

After a moment, she realized he wasn't looking at _her_ at all, all he saw was prey.

She continued moving forward, knowing she didn't have much time and also terrified she'd have to harm him further.

Before she could even make a plan, he changed her.

She stood her ground as he grabbed her, his claws sinking into her upper arms as he shoved her hard against the wall.

She knew if she fought back, he would react to that negatively, if she defied response, maybe he would freeze.

She prayed she was making the right choice. Both their lives likely depended on it.

When her back slammed against the wall, she felt Angel's mouth go for her neck.

He seemed confused a moment, having expected his prey to recoil and fight back.

There has been footage of a baby gazelle standing in front of a lion. The gazelle too scared to move, the lion too confused without prey to chase on how to eat it. Both stood in unmoving deadlock until the gazelle ran. The lion's instinct kicked on and soon the gazelle was dinner. Had it not run, it would have stayed safe.

Buffy didn't move. She fought her every instinct by relaxing her body. Even turning her head to give him easier access to her scar.

She could feel Angel's fangs graze her throat, his tongue licked at the healed wounds on her neck, sending a bolt of terror and at the same time pleasure though her.

Instead of his fangs burying into her neck, he pulled back.

He tasted his mark on her.

His mate.

She took that moment to try and bring him back to his senses. Without a word, she grabbed his cheeks and crushed her lips to his, fangs be damned.

He stiffened, eyes widening in shock.

She didn't let up, greedily kissing him.

Slowly his body relaxed, his claws released her arms and he leaned into the kiss.

She felt his face change, his human side reacting to her love.

He could smell her blood, it filled his nostrils, pushing back the fog and directing his attention back to his mate.

Slowly he pulled back, his warm brown eyes focusing on her face.

"Buffy?" He whispered, voice shaky and confused. He would have asked her more, wanted to ask if she was ok, what happened, why he hurt so much…but his brain wouldn't send the right signals to his mouth, he suddenly felt too weak to even stand.

She smiled in relief up at him, knowing he was coherent again. Her hand reached up and caressed his cheek.

Before she could reply, his eyes rolled back and his legs buckled beneath him as the adrenalin rush fueling his rampage ended and his injures caught up to him.

"Cass!" Buffy shouted for the doctor as Angel collapsed boneless into her arms, terrified he was dying as Cassidy had warned almost ten minutes ago.

Settling his head into her lap, she quickly searched for a pulse.

Dr Cassidy appeared at her side not 3 seconds later, already administering an IV of blood into Angel's arm.

The unconscious man's pulse flickered pathetically beneath Buffy's fingers, most of his life fluid seeping from his numerous cuts which where unable to heal with the intense blood loss and constantly being reopened as he moved.

Now that he was still, Cassidy began covering as many as she could find with healing salves and gauze. Buffy helping cover the worst of the injuries before they attempted to move him back onto a cot.

Ten minutes later, the transfusion bag was empty and the doctor was replacing it for another. Once the second one was attached, a few of those in the med-ward helped lift Angel back into a righted bed.

He remained deathly still and ghostly pale, but his heart rate was evening out as his body absorbed the supplied blood and fueled his supernatural healing.

Buffy remained glued to him, almost afraid the absence of her touch would be like removing life support from a dying man.

Thirty minutes passed in the same manor, Buffy sitting patiently at her husband's bedside, his hand clamped tightly between hers as the good doctor tended her wounded.

Now that Angel wasn't a threat, the med-ward was filling back up with those injured in the fight with the demon.

"Buffy" Giles voice called as the watcher entered the hospital wing and spotted his daughter in all but blood.

She looked up and noticed a rather nasty looking cut on his forehead, "Giles, what happened to you? Are you ok?" She asked, concerned.

"Yes, I'm fine. You know how much I enjoy being knocked out. Angel took the worst blow, saved a young slayer in the process. How is he?" The Brit asked, concerned about his son-in-law.

Buffy shrugged, "Cass says he'll be right as rain in a few hours." She explained, already seeing his injuries healing. "Giles, what happened up there? What did this?" She asked, wanting to know how or what almost killed her lover.

Cass came by with a cotton wad soaked in disinfectant and placed it along Giles's wound; she had done the same for Buffy's claw punctures earlier.

The watcher grimaced and took the antiseptic tool when she offered it.

"Keep the pressure on for a few minutes; I'll be right back with a bandage." Cass said as she scurried off to help a few other slightly battered people.

Giles quickly explained how a misfired spell from an over exuberant Slayer-in-training summoned a demon in the middle of the training room. Angel reacted first, but the fight went downhill when another trainee made an error, causing Angel to be injured and forcing the other trainees to take control. Giles explained that while the girls contained the beast in the room, he read a reversal spell to send it back home.

Buffy nodded and continued to run her thumb over the knuckles of Angel's left hand, her digit focusing unconsciously on his wedding band.

After a few minutes of quiet talking, Giles had to go address the summoning issue, perhaps begin a lecture on not letting it happen again.

Cassidy ambushed him on the way out, slapping a bandage over the cut.

As Buffy ran her fingers over the healing wound on Angel's forehead, her cellphone began ringing wildly from within her pocket.

Furrowing her brow, she removed her hands from Angel and dug into her pocket for the offending racket.

"Hello? Willow? Are the kids ok?" Buffy asked, worried when her own home phone number appeared in her caller ID.

"Hey Buff, yeah…well...no…I mean they are physically ok, but Liam won't stop crying and now Katie won't stop…" Willow expressed into the phone.

Buffy was torn a moment, she knew Liam would need to be fed again and Katie was due for her noon nap, but her husband nearly died and was still unconscious. She didn't know what to do. '_Go home to the kids or stay with my husband_?' Motherhood won out over the brief but close internal debate. She leaned over and kissed Angel's brow. "I'll be back." She whispered to him, after a moment of pause she added, "I love you."

"It's ok Will, just pop me back home." Buffy relented, giving her husband one last look before she was suddenly face to face with Willow.

Taking a screaming Liam from the pale looking witch, Buffy asked, "Can you sit with Angel? At least until he wakes up? I don't want him to be alone."

The redhead nodded, then rethought, "Ahh, he's not still all Grr…is he?"

Buffy let out a sigh, "No, I don't think so. He recognized me; he should be fine. Just keep me posted, Ok?" She asked, still worried.

"Yeah, no problem." The Wicca as assured, knowing her best-friend hated leaving Angel when he was hurt. Also thinking one unconscious man was much easier and quieter to deal with than two unhappy babies.

She felt a pang of guilt for leaving Buffy alone with the noise, but her brain seriously needed some baby-free time. _'Gees, I've been here less that an hour...how do Buffy and Angel cope?'_

"Thank you." Buffy smiled and prepared to feed Liam.

...

About an hour later.

Buffy shrugged the ringing phone onto her shoulder as she cleaned up the uneaten mess Katie was leaving on her highchair. Rather the mess she was playing with on her highchair.

"Will, what's up?" Buffy asked, hoping everything was Ok with her husband.

"Buffy, hey...umm I hate to have to call and tell you this but...Angel's...gone." She said sadly.

"Gone! What do you mean by gone?" Buffy panicked into the phone, terrified her friend meant Angel had died.

"As in, we have no idea where he is. Once second he was lying right here, then next…gone." The Wicca clarified.

"He vanished?" She asked, relieved he wasn't dead but wondering if she meant magic or Houdini.

"Well, not exactly…poof gone…" Willow emphasized.

"Will!" Buffy exasperated.

"I might have nodded off for a second…but only a second!" The witch admitting under a weight of guilt.

"Did you check his office?" She asked hopeful.

"Yeah, it was an empty mess…his car is gone from the garage." The witch said quietly.

The blond sighed excessively, "Willow, I gave you one job, watch him…and you let him run off! Who knows here he is right now. He's hurt, he's supposed to stay in the med-ward! What if he's attacked?"

"I could do a locator spell…" The redhead offered.

"Ok, do a locator spell. Do anything…just find him!" Buffy urged.

"That won't be necessary" Angel's tired voice spoke from behind her.

She jumped and turned, upon seeing him her panic dissipated, "Thank you." She breathed out in relief.

"Never mind Will, he's here. I'll call you back." She told her friend than hung up to turn her attention to her husband. Again she was stuck as to why she didn't feel him approach.

He looked pale still, but the cuts and gashes where mostly closed. He wasn't standing completely upright she noted, she figured his back was hurting when he crashed into the wall. The tense lines on his face pretty much confirmed he wasn't feeling bright and dandy.

"Are you ok?" she asked, mostly as a conversation starter.

"Had better days." He grimaced as he walked pasted her and straight for the fridge.

She watched silently as he grabbed a water bottle and downed most of it in a few swallows. His eyes squeezed shut and his hand went to the colorful bruise on the side of his head, he groaned a bit and shut the refrigerator door.

"Concussion?" She asked, grabbing a dish cloth to put ice in.

"Probably." He grumbled in pain and wandered towards the table.

He seemed to notice Katie a moment later, who had been calling out to him for the past few minutes, and not being happy about being ignored.

"Sorry sweetheart." He said and ran his fingers threw her hair.

While Katie played with Angel's fingers, Buffy grabbed some ice from the freezer and loaded up the dishcloth.

"Maybe you should go lie down." Buffy suggested, seeing Angel slightly tilting to the left.

He nodded but didn't move.

She put the makeshift ice pack on the counter and couldn't resist wrapping her arms around her husband's waist.

He looked down at her, a mild look of shock crossing his face.

"You can be very stupid sometimes." Buffy muttered into his chest at his confusion.

His eyebrows pointed down, ire running threw him. "Why's that?"

"Just because we're fighting doesn't mean I don't love you." She said sincerely looking up at him, "You could have died today Angel, and I have absolutely no intentions to become a widow."

His eyes shifted, the anger sinking back down and something more sheepish filling the spot. "Oh." He mumbled.

"We both had some serious communication issues today, and we need to address that…but later. Just lay down for a little while, ok?" She asked, worried still about his health.

His arms, which had remained motionless, wrapped around her as he nodded.

After a moment, they untangled themselves and he turned to head into the living room.

"Oh, here. Take Katie. She missed her nap today." Buffy instructed as she freed the tot from the highchair and handed her to her father. She was determined to show Angel she trusted him and that there were no intentions of the D word (divorce) in her mind.

A moment later he was settling on the couch, Katie originally trying to squirm out of his grasp, now deciding to snuggle up and nap too. He tucked her hair behind her ear, grinning as she swatted at his finger so like her mother.

Buffy moved the bassinet Liam was napping in over near the couch, sending Angel a quick guilty glance. "He just ate so he should be good for awhile, it's quieter in here, and I'm working on cooking lunch…"

Angel nodded, "It's fine." He assured, really not minding babysitting duty.

Buffy placed the icepack lightly against his bruise,"Are you sure your ok?" She asked, not loving the slightly delayed reactions as he moved.

He nodded, taking the icepack. "Made it home didn't I?"

She furrowed her brow, not liking the idea of him behind the wheel with a concussion. She squirreled that lecture away for later.

"Ok. I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything." She offered.

She turned to go, but Angel's hand on her arm stopped her. She looked down at him and noticed his eyes were glued to the small blood spots on the arms of her shirt.

'_Oh, whoops, I forgot to change._' she thought, remembering his claws dug into her arms earlier, ruining a perfectly good blouse.

"Is...I did that?" he asked, looking worried and confused._ 'Did I attack Buffy? I remember feeling angry, smelling her blood...did she kiss me? God, my head is too muddled to remember.'_

"Not intentionally. You were sick. It's nothing, I'm already healed." She assured him.

He still didn't look convinced. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, thinking maybe he should go.

She sat on the little space on the couch, "Don't be. You did nothing wrong."

"What happened? I can't remember." he asked.

"You got hurt, maybe dying. Cass needed help, Willow beamed me in. You could have hurt me, but you didn't. I wasn't sure I could trust you this morning, but you proved me wrong today. You could have tore my throat out, but you didn't. Even at your worst, you're not a monster."

She notice he went pale, and it had nothing to do with blood loss.

"It wasn't your fault...you didn't hurt me. " She pushed.

He nodded, more as a reflex than actual understanding. He didn't like not remembering for himself, especially when it concerned Buffy. "Did I hurt anyone?" he asked, needing to know.

She shook her head, "The only casualty today was my shirt, and if it helps appease your guilt, I will gladly let you buy me a new one." She told him, trying to lighten his mood.

"How? Why did I stop?" He asked, only remembering bits and pieces.

Her cheeks tinted red. "I umm...kissed you." She whispered, looking at her fingers.

He just looked at her a moment, beside himself. "You kissed a crazed vampire that tried to rip your throat out?" He clarified.

She looked sheepish, "No." She defended, "I kissed you. Completely different."

He sighed, feeling even more tired now. The pounding in his head tripled.

"Please don't beat yourself up over this." She pleaded.

"You lucky I didn't beat _you_ over this!" He snapped, realizing he very easily could have killed Buffy today.

They both looked over at the crib when Liam whimpered and began crying from Angel's outburst.

Katie slept on peacefully on Angel's chest, completely un-phased.

The living vampire shut his eyes, mentally telling himself to relax.

Buffy hushed the baby, gently rubbing his back and soon he fell back to sleep.

"Sorry" Angel whispered for waking his son.

Buffy turned back towards him, nodding. "He didn't take after Katie."

Angel smirked, "No, no he didn't." He replied, running his fingers along his sleeping daughter's back.

After a momentary silence, Angel spoke. "I appreciate what you did for me today, but I'd appreciate it more if you never took that kind of risk again."

"Ok, so next time I just punch you into a coma." she stated sarcastically.

They stared each other down a moment, then Buffy couldn't help but grin.

After a second, Angel did too.

"Ok, it was a messy situation, but it worked out in the end. Can we just leave it at that?" She asked, wanting to put this behind them.

He nodded, his eyes betraying the fatigue he felt encroaching in waves. "Yeah, we'll discuss the rest tonight? Maybe when I can stay awake?" He asked, leaning back.

She nodded, readjusting the icepack back onto his bruised head. "It's a date." She promised, then headed back into the kitchen to cook what started as lunch but would end up being dinner.

He look one final glanced down at his daughter asleep in his arms then to his son sleeping in the little crib before his eyes drifted shut, his children's heartbeats soothing his tense mind, the ice helping dulling the pain.

...

Half an hour after Buffy passed the kids off to Angel, she glanced into the living room and smiled. Angel was snoring quietly. She wasn't worried about him sleeping on the job; she knew he would wake the second either one of them cried. Actually, she found it almost creepy how well he knew what they wanted and needed more often than they did.

The issues between then weren't solved yet, but a good chunk of the uncomfortable tension seemed to have dissipated.

...

An hour later, Buffy had finished cooking her first attempt at baked macaroni and was pondering whether to wake Angel to eat. She decided against it, figuring Katie was finally napping too and he would benefit more from rest rather than food.

She grabbed a plate and scooped some into it. It didn't exactly look like the picture on the recipe but she stuck her fork in and took a bite. It was a little chewier than it should have been, but the flavor was decent enough. _'It's acceptable, but Angel cooks way better.'_ She thought with a slight streak of envy.

After she finished her lunch, she picked up fussy Liam and sat in the chair across from the couch, watching over her sleeping family.

...

Buffy opened her eyes. Not realizing she had fallen asleep immediately, but when she noticed the shadows had moved and the couch was vacant, she put two and two together.

It had been late afternoon, now it was early evening, concluding she had slept for at least two hours. '_I guess not sleeping last night caught up to me…'_

Panic rush into her when she noticed her son wasn't in her arms or the bassinet. Looking down at the empty floor dislodged any fear she might have dropped him.

She stood and noticed she could hear Katie laughing from the kitchen. Upon entering she saw her husband sitting at the table, Liam resting in the crook of his elbow, as he watched Katie gum some of the pasta she had left covered on the stove.

"It's chewy." Buffy admitted as she came in and sat in the chair beside the highchair.

Angel shrugged, "I liked it."

"Well you'll eat anything." She said rolling her eyes.

"Except yogurt." He countered.

"Right…except yogurt." She repeated, not really knowing what else to say.

She pointed her face towards Katie, but watched Angel out of the corner of her eye. He seemed better, the paleness gone, as were any signs of his injuries.

Liam began to whimper, the pre-cry signaling he was getting hungry.

Buffy held out her arms and Angel passed him over the table for her to feed.

"Hi there handsome." She smiled, kissing Liam's little button nose, _her_ nose in miniature.

A few minutes later, Liam was nursing comfortably as Angel tried to keep Katie actually eating the macaroni instead of shoving it up her or his nose.

…

Later that night, Angel tucked Katie into her crib while Buffy tucked Liam into the bassinet next to their bed.

Angel walked in, fingering his wedding ring with his left thumb. He still wasn't sure what their relationship status was, obviously Buffy still cared for him, but her harsh rejection of him that morning had left a deep scar across his heart.

They had danced around the subject for the past few hours, he figured the talk was fast approaching.

He glanced at the bed and wondered if she was going to make him sleep on the couch. A second later he rejected the idea, this was his bed too, and he was going to sleep in it whether she wanted him next to her or not.

Buffy noticed the tension as she exited the bathroom.

Angel was lying on his side of the bed, actually wearing a t-shirt over his usually bare chest and staring intently at the ceiling.

Not knowing what to say, she slipped under the covers on her side and waited for the inevitable confrontation.

Angel remained silent, not wanting to actualize Buffy's morning accusations against his demon side. He still found no fault in reclaiming his mark, if she did…then he wasn't sure they could remain a couple. He would never up and walk away from her, he had promised her he wouldn't and he would stand by that. Also he would never abandon his children, he wasn't capable of that, he loved them too much.

Before he could formulate a question to ask, Buffy rolled over and slipped her arm around his waist, snuggling up against him as she always slept, using his shoulder as her favorite pillow. His arms automatically wrapped around her, his fingers resting on her lower back.

"I talked with Giles today." She started, figuring she might as well just jump in. "He explained a few of the vamp things to me…things I really wish you would have told me. You were doing really well lately with the talking and sharing…maybe we could work on it a little more tonight?" She asked, hoping he would open up.

"I tried, you didn't really give me the opportunity this morning." He stated.

She winced, "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Angel. I wasn't exactly 'listening girl' at the time, but I am now…I promise."

He stayed silent.

Earlier in their relationship, she may have thought he wasn't going to speak. But experience taught her he just needed some time to put the words together in his head.

"You know I'd never do anything to hurt you." He spoke softly after a few minutes.

She nodded against his shoulder, "I do. You proved it again today."

"Ever since I awoke with a heartbeat, I could sense another had claimed you. I know you hate the language of it, but that's how the demon world works. Demons don't have souls, they don't have love…they have possessions. I do have a soul, I do feel love…but I also feel possessive of you. I promise don't see you as an object or property, but I do see you as mine. You wear my ring, you share my bed, you bore my children…" He trailed, feeling her pull away from him and sit against the headboard.

She looked down at him, her eyes betraying anger.

He took a deep breath, also sitting up. "Buffy, I know you're a slayer, I've never met a stronger and more powerful woman. You don't need a man standing over you, protecting you and keeping you like a trophy. I know you won't allow it. That's not want I meant by mine. The fact you _wanted_ to be with me made you mine, not that I chose you, because you chose me."

They were both silent a few minutes, thinking their own thoughts.

"So why all of a sudden? Why have this possessiveness now?" She asked, no longer feeling like a thing, but curious as to why this never came up before.

He thought a moment, and replied as truthfully as he could. "Before my soul and demon merged, I despised my demon. I knew when you cured me that my bite had marked you as my mate, but I felt only remorse and disgust by it then. Later, when we reunited, I knew it wasn't my mark anymore, but I still held the same resentment for my demon. I had no desire to reclaim you via the ways of a monster. Afterwards, I became as much a demon as I was a man. I realized I wanted you in both ways. I wanted you to wear my ring and my mark. I waited until after Liam was born, I knew he wouldn't have been in any danger, but it wasn't a risk I was willing to take. I hadn't actually planned to do it last night…I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it first…I should have."

"Yeah you should have." She scolded, but her tone wasn't spiteful.

Angel looked down at his ring, carefully choosing his next words. "I know you didn't sign up to be wed to a demon. If…this isn't what you want..."

She shifted from her sitting position and slid onto his lap, her legs straddling his thighs, her arms wrapping around his neck as she leaned forward against his chest. "Don't you dare finish that thought." She warned.

She then moved on to dispelling his insecurities about his demon.

"You're right, when I married you, you were more human than demon. But you were completely undead when I fell in love with you. I never had a problem with you being a demon, Angel; I used to crave your cool skin, the silence in your chest, because that's what you were, that's what I wanted. Then you changed…and so did what I wanted. I suddenly craved warm skin and a beating heart…because that's what you had to offer me. It never mattered what you were…I just wanted you."

His arms wrapped around her, keeping her close.

She ran her finger down his cheek, "Now that you explained it, I can understand possession, I see you as mine too." She placed a kiss along his forehead. "All mine."

His eyes closed and a grin spread across his face as her lips pressed against his skin, the tension flowing out of him.

"What I have a problem with is you not explaining what's going on in this thick head of yours." She scolded.

He rolled his eyes and groaned dramatically.

"Ok, my turn to explain why I was angry." She stated, sitting back, still straddling his legs, but no longer leaning against his chest.

As she pulled back, his arms unwrapped from her waist, he folded his hands neatly on his lap a few inches from where she sat on his legs.

"Don't bite me." She said flatly.

When he went to argue she held up her hand."Let me finish."

She continued, "Don't bite without telling me first. I'm a slayer Angel, my basic instincts are to slay when a vampire attacks me. Ok so maybe I was a little distracted last night, but usually my body doesn't differentiate between some random vamp sinking its teeth into my throat and you giving me a love bite. Curing you was once of the hardest things I've ever done, every fiber of my being wanted to push you off, to pull your teeth out of me."

Angel looked away, suddenly uncomfortable with her confession.

Buffy cupped his cheek and turned his face back towards hers. "At the same time, every fiber was also screaming for you not to stop. It was the strangest sensation; I couldn't tell if I felt pain or pleasure. I think pleasure won, unfortunately the rest is a little fuzzy on account I passed out."

She dropped her hand from his cheek and ran it down his arm, "This morning my instincts were screaming to fight you...that's why I got so mad, because I was warring with myself as much as with you. The last thing I want is me staking you on accident. I have enough anxiety about you being killed by the bad guys, I can't handle adding myself to that list." She finished running her fingers over his heart.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." He said, pulling her against him and hugging her closer. Hearing she had to fight her own instincts had been surprising, but understandable.

"Well it wasn't something we ever really discussed…" She said back, welcoming the hug.

"Still, I don't want you to be uncomfortable with me…" He voiced.

"I'm not." She breathed against him. "I love you Angel and I DO want to be with you. I'm sorry if I gave you any other impression." She confessed, making sure he understood it.

"I love you too. I won't bite, I promise." He agreed.

"You said this morning your demon side needed to be satisfied too…" She lured, wanting to make sure all bases were covered between them.

He looked down, looking inside himself for an honest answer. "Vampires find blood and biting highly erotic, some find it impossible to find release without it." He met her eyes, "I don't. I have no desires to bite you Buffy. My demon reacted to your mark because it was no longer my own. I'm sure you're aware I avoided it, it repelled me. Now that I reclaimed it, my demon is content. I can't promise I'll never feel a desire for it again, but for now…I'm satisfied." He explained.

She nodded, "Ok, just make sure if you feel any urges, you let me now first." She warned. "You dealt with my crazy pregnancy-induced cravings; I can deal with your demon-induced ones too."

"I will." he grinned, feeling relief and love washing over his after their talk.

He pulled her back against him and kissed her cheek, then moved to kiss around her face. "You know" he whispered, "that bite gave you one hell of an orgasm."

Her cheeks flashed red, "I know." She confessed, letting the subject close and another issue arise.

The other issue being the make-up, or more accurately, the make-up sex.

She melted against him, running her fingers into his hair and returning his kisses with interest.

After a minute she realized he was completely avoiding her neck, figuring he got the wrong idea she purposefully turned her scar to him. "I said no biting, kissing is required and encouraged." She invited.

It didn't take more than a second before his lips descended over his mark.

The feeling in her gut, the tingling she always felt when Angel was near, suddenly reappeared after being absent most of the day.

Buffy gasped in surprise as the sensation suddenly warmed and spreading through her nether region as his lips worked the overly sensitive spot. She suddenly realized why last night had been so fulfilling; he'd never kissed her scar before and she found it was extremely pleasurable.

Angel kissed with reckless abandon, his senses picking up no trace of fear or hesitation from Buffy. Her heart was beginning to race, but not because she was defensive, but because she was becoming very aroused.

The realization he was too was becoming to be apparent.

...

Liam awoke more than once that night, this time not from angry shouts from his parents, but outbursts of passion.

...


	32. Mother's Day, The Talk, 2nd Anniversary

May 14, 2006 – Mother's Day

* * *

A smile spread across his features as Angel watched Buffy sleep.

He loved her peaceful expression, the slow rise and fall of her chest, the soft, warm wisps of her breath on his skin, the slightly moist spot growing on the pillow beside her mouth…ok, maybe not that last one.

As slowly and quietly as he could, he slipped from bed and pulled on his sweats. He tiptoed out of the room and headed downstairs towards the kitchen, only detouring to check that the kids were still soundly asleep.

Once in the kitchen he, as quietly as possible, went about cooking Buffy her favorite breakfast.

He wanted everything to be perfect today.

...

After finishing the waffles, eggs and bacon, he filled two glasses, one with Oj the other milk and added them to tray.

It had taken him a full twenty minutes to figure out how to get the coffeepot running, but finally a piping hot cup of coffee made it to the tray along with a little vase with a single red rose.

Satisfied the ensemble was complete, he picked up the tray and headed upstairs to surprise his wife.

Thankful he had the foresight to not completely shut the door, he wedged his foot into the crack and pried it open since his hands where occupied with keeping the tray balanced. Slipping back inside he crept over to the bed and eased in.

Buffy shifted when she felt the bed depress, and slowly opened her eyes when something hard and flat slid across her lap.

"Angel?" She yawned, wondering what he was doing.

"Morning." He whispered, kissing her temple.

She smiled up at him, "Morning." She repeated back, and then added, "What's with the sneaky?" upon seeing a strange glint in his eyes.

She looked down and noticed the tray he had deposited in her lap.

"What's this?" She asked, the aroma of hot coffee filling her nose and the idea of food making her mouth water.

"Nothing, just your wonderful Mother's day breakfast in bed." He said nonchalantly.

Her grin widened, "I get breakfast in bed?" She asked, all eager and happy.

"Of course you do." He replied, snuggling up and reaching for a piece of bacon.

She swatted his hand away. "Hey, mine." She defended her food.

He grinned and sat up against the headboard.

A moment later she sat against his chest, using him as a backrest.

Unable to resist, he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder, stealing a kiss on her neck every now and then.

As she looked down at the food she shook her head, "Did you purposefully make way too much so I would share with you?"

His eyes shifted back and forth a moment, "Ahh, no?" he lied, looking guilty.

"Then why are there two forks?" She dead panned.

"Well that's so you can eat with one, and I can feed you with the other." He offered smoothly.

"Liar." She stated.

"Points for trying?" He asked with an arched eyebrow.

After a moment she surrendered, "I suppose. Eating alone is no fun anyways, especially if I have you drooling over my shoulder the whole time."

She handed him one of the forks and they spent some quality time feeding one another in between chuckles and kisses.

...

Once the food was gone, they lounged contently in their bed, talking and just enjoying being together.

"Can we do this more often?" Buffy asked, looking up at Angel, her fingers absently toying with his.

"Sure." He smirked, "How about on Father's day? I expect chocolate chip pancakes…and I'll eat them off your naked body." He fantasized with a lustful grin.

Her jaw dropped and she stared at him, "Why didn't I get that!" She demanded.

"Sorry, just thought it now. Next year, I promise." He appeased with a chaste kiss.

"Ok, but make it chocolate chip waffles." She expressed.

"Mother's day, chocolate chip waffles, naked. Got it." He grinned and kissed her ear.

"I didn't get breakfast in bed last Mother's day…" She realized with a slight pout.

"Last year Mother's day was May 8th, Katie was born May 9th." He stated.

"I was still carrying your child, that counts." She countered.

"That's why I bought you flowers and a gallon of cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip ice cream." He countered back.

"Oh yeah, which you ate most of by the way." She accused.

He shrugged, "Guilty."

After a beat, "Besides, I couldn't have served you breakfast in bed anyways, with your belly out to here, where would I have put the tray?" He joked holding his hand a foot out from his stomach.

"Hey!" She turned and whacked him a few times.

He ducked back from the playful blows, pretending they hurt.

After a second she tackled him, their play fight dissolving into lustful kisses.

...

When they finally pulled apart, she closed her eyes and stretched out onto his chest, full and happy and enjoying the lazy early morning before the kids woke and the chaos began.

She felt his hand slid along her arm, when she opened her eyes again Angel held a small box in front of her.

"What's that?" She asked, knowing but excited for a present.

"Your Mother's day gift." He said, dropping the box into her cupped hands.

As she sat up, she joked, "And here I thought the breakfast in bed idea was just you being cheap."

"I'm not cheap…I'm old…there's a difference." He defended.

"I know. I love your gifts, they're always perfect." She eased his mind and placed a kiss on his lips.

Smiling, she excitingly pulled off the little pink bow. She knew he always got her something amazing and was looking forward to his next surprise.

She pulled the cover off the box and pulled out a charm and a braided silver chain.

"Oh Angel, it's beautiful." She said looking down at the charm in her hands.

It was a small silver heart with a Claddagh design on the bottom. Hanging from the bottom heart were two stones, an emerald and an amethyst.

"It's a birthstone pendent" Angel explained, "The emerald is for Katie who was born in May and the amethyst is for Liam since he was born in February. There is a Garnet in the middle for you, January."

She turned around wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, "Thank you, I love it, it's amazing."

"Can't breathe." He choked out, her grip on his neck a little too tight.

She immediately loosened and began kissing him an apology.

After a minute she pulled back, "Hey, where is your stone?" She asked, looking at the pendent again and not seeing one for him.

"I'll be the little hands holding yours." He offered, wrapping his arms around her and pointing to the friendship hands of the Claddagh.

She accepted that and turned over the charm, noticing there were words engraved around the heart on the reverse side. 'Love, Loyalty, Friendship, Family'.

"Put it on?" She asked, handing it to him to fasten around her neck. She pulled her hair back as he clasped the small lock.

She looked down and frowned, the necklace length clashed with her silver cross, which she hadn't taken off since her wedding.

"It doesn't go with my cross." She pouted.

"You don't have to wear both at the same time, you can leave one in your jewelry box." He emphasized her Valentines day gift.

"Is that why you made me that? Because you plan on burying me in jewelry?" She teased. "Give me so many I can't possibly wear them all at once?"

"You don't want more jewelry?" he asked.

"No, no I do. Please bury away." She quickly amended, knowing she could never have **_too_ **much jewelry, especially if picked out by her incredibly tasteful and practical husband.

She slowly took off her beloved silver cross and looked down at it a moment, then she turned and slipped the necklace around Angel's neck. "I want you to wear it." She told him as she fastened it in place.

He looked down at the object, feeling strange to have a cross against his skin.

"It doesn't burn does it?' she asked, momentarily unsure at his reluctance.

"No, it…it's just different. I haven't worn a cross in…since I was a child." He admitted, running his fingers over the charm, remembering the day he'd picked it out with intentions of giving it to the Slayer he was charged with helping. The Slayer he'd already fallen madly in love with upon first glimpse.

"Well it's about time you start. It offers a lot of protection, trust me; it saved me more than once." She stated, remembering the times she utilized it to her advantage, knowing Angel could use the same protection.

"All the most reason you should keep it." He countered, not wanting to leave her neck unprotected.

She shook her head, "No, it kept me safe; it's your turn now."

At her resolve face, he nodded, "Alright…but if I get my ass kicked for wearing woman's jewelry…" he left the empty treat hanging.

She grinned, "Yeah, I don't think you'll have a problem there, it's not a very feminine piece."

"Are you criticizing my taste?" He asked, since he picked it out to begin with.

"No, I love your taste." She kissed his lips then licked hers, "Mmm, all your tastes."

He grinned, "Me too." He leaned in and captured her mouth in his own for a taste.

Of course that's when the 'I'm awake' cry came from the nursery across the hall…then another from Katie's room down the hall.

"Why do they always wake up when things are just getting good?" She asked, rolling out of bed.

"Just think, the earlier they get up…the earlier they go to bed." Angel winked and headed down the hall to get Katie.

Buffy grinned and headed to grab Liam and start her first real mother's day.

'_Hmm, this time last year I technically had no kids, only one year later, I have two…and I wouldn't change it for the world._' She thought happily as she picked up her 3 month-old son. "Not for the world." She whispered.

* * *

AN: Buffy's Necklace Idea: www. bradfordexchange .com, Product #107799001, "An Irish Mother's Love" Personalized Diamond Pendant

* * *

October, 2006 - The Talk

* * *

_'Now'_ Angel thought, _'Get you're ass over there and talk to her right now. Katie and Liam are napping, and Buffy is painting her toes, so she can't kick your ass without ruining them.' _

Walking over to the couch and sliding down beside his wife, flashed his best 'there is nothing wrong' smile.

"What's wrong?" Buffy asked, seeing right though him.

His smile dissolved and he sighed. "Listen Buffy, I've been meaning to talk to you for awhile now...actually I've been putting it off for almost three years now…"

"You've been alive for almost three years." She stated, not liking where this conversation sounded like it was going.

He nodded, "Yeah, it's related.

"What is it?" She demanded, twisting the top back on to her favorite pink nail polish, and giving him her full attention. Actually a little mad he had kept something from her for so long.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He looked down at his fingers a moment then into his wife's hazel green and slightly worried eyes. Figuring he might as well jump right in he blurted, "Buffy, I want to go home."

She blinked a moment and stated blankly, "You **are** home…we live here."

He sighed, "No, I mean…I want to back home to Ireland. To where I was born…where I died." He clarified.

"Oh" She said, not sure what to say to that. After a moment of silence she asked, "You want us to go to Ireland why?"

He winced, "Well actually, I meant me…alone." He admitted.

"Alone?" She repeated, hurt and angry.

He wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her in closer to him, she tried to pull back but he was persistent.

"My Love, I'm not leaving you, and this isn't because I want to get away from you. Two weeks tops, that's all I'm asking for."

"What's your reasoning then? Why all of a sudden?" She demanded, looking up into his dark eyes.

"It isn't all of a sudden, I've been thinking this over since I became human again. As for why…I was born there Buffy, both the man and the demon. Some part of me…I don't know, I have a lot of skeletons buried there, and that's fairly literal. I just…I need to go back. This is just something I have to do."

"Right now?" She asked, not comfortable with him skipping town...actually the country... with Liam less than a year old.

"No, it doesn't have to be right now, if you need me here...I've waited this long, I can hold off a little longer." He comforted.

"Why did you put if off so long?" she asked, curious, while curling up against him.

He grinned, running his fingers down her arm, "Lots of reasons. The biggest is…well you got pregnant with Katie. I knew I couldn't leave with you expecting, then the wedding, an apocalypse, then Liam…I needed to be here for those…for you." He confessed.

She nodded, her anger dissipated as he talked to her first, sharing his feelings and plans before just showing up with a plane ticket. She looked up at him with a little pout she knew he had a hard time resisting, "Could you wait 4 months, at least until Liam's 1?"

He nodded, pulling her in to kiss her cheek, "Next year, I can go this time next year." He appeased.

"What will you do there?" she asked.

He shrugged, "Honestly, I don't know. It's just something I need to do. Closure I guess."

"Ok" She reluctantly agreed, "But only two weeks…one day more and I'll be coming to find you." She warned.

He grinned, "You won't need to, two weeks without my Buffy fix and I'll be crawling back to you." He smirked, pulling her in to kiss her neck in thanks for agreeing to his request.

"Stop" she whispered with little to no force. Her lips curling into a smile from the pleasure he generated with such simple touch. "I'm still mad at you." She sort of lied.

He pulled back, a crease marring his brow. "Why?" He asked, not knowing.

"Well you did just make verbal agreements to vacation without me for two weeks..." She accused, folding her arms across her chest and staring him down.

He crossed his arms too, "So I'm being punished now for doing the very thing you asked me to do...talk and share with you instead of going behind your back?" He asked, astounded.

"Well, actually I was going for getting you guilt tripped into painting my toes for me..." She admitted sheepishly, unfolding her arms and shrugging.

He uncrossed his arms, "Oh." He said, realizing she wasn't actually mad at him, just trying to manipulate him to do her bidding. It could be worse...

After a moment he picked up her nail polish bottle and tapped his lap for her foot. "I don't mind, but next time, just ask." He stated as she settled her foot onto his lap.

"Yeah...I'll try that first next time." She agreed.

After a few moments of silence as he painted, "Thanks...for sharing with me...even if it did take three years...I appreciate having a say in our decisions."

"Always." He muttered, focused on keeping the polish on her nails and off the smooth skin of her toes.

She watched him then, remembering back when she was heavily pregnant for the first time with Katie. She had been sitting on the couch much as she had been when he sat beside her earlier, trying in vein to paint her toes with a virtual beach-ball in the way.

He had just slipped in, taken the polish from her, and gave her the most amazing foot rub of her life. Afterwards he silently painter her toes with a look of concentration equaling that if he was painting the Mona Lisa. The final result just as professional.

Needless to say, he'd gotten laid that night. A lot.

She was wondering if he thought the same thing would happen tonight. '_We'll see_.' She mentally toyed.

She thought over what he'd said today, about needing to go home for a few weeks.

She knew he carried a lot of guilt still, despite what he might have claimed to the Scooby gang. The depth of his guilt was nothing compared to what it used to be, but still present none the less. She knew his instincts were sharp and well honed, she trusted his 'gut' feelings as well as her own. If he claimed he needed to go, he probably did.

She hadn't a clue how she'd handle the kids (or her bedroom cravings) without him for two whole weeks, but if there was even the slightest chance he'd come back to her more at peace with himself, she'd gladly give him the time he needed.

Until then, she'd bask in him just being with her, because he is all she ever wanted.

* * *

November 2006 - Night Terrors

* * *

Something woke him; Angel wasn't exactly sure what, but his senses alerted his body that he needed to be awake.

He waited a moment in silence, then he discovered what roused him from slumber. His sensitive ears picked up of the wail of his year and a half old daughter from down the hall.

Carefully easing from Buffy's grasp, he quickly slid from the room and headed down the hall to answer his child's cry. It took him under three seconds, barely enough time to wonder why the baby monitor had failed to transmit the sounds of the distressed tot as it was intended to.

Upon entering Katie's bedroom his sensitive ears were assaulted by the child's screams.

"Hey honey, shh, you'll wake the Hellmouth." He soothed as he approached the crib.

A quick glance towards the crib side monitor showed a lack of power, perhaps when Buffy vacuumed she forgot to plug it back in?

Dismissing the thoughts he reached down into the crib, Katie practically clawing at his arms to be picked up.

"Whoa, easy sweetheart, Shh, I'm here. It's ok baby girl, you're safe." He soothed, holding the toddler tight and rocking her in his embrace. He could clearly smell and feel the fear radiating from her, her small body trembling with it.

He kissed her cheeks, as he glanced around, searching for the source of his daughters distress.

Katie relaxed in her father's arms, feeling safe and secure.

After checking the room, he found nothing out of the ordinary.

Satisfied there was nothing to harm his child, he slowly began to lower the now dozing tot back into her crib.

Katie lazily opened an eye, suddenly realizing he was putting her back in the crib she wailed and wrapped her little arms around his neck, squeezing as if her life depended on it.

Half choked, he draw her back from the crib and held her tight, realizing she was terrified of her bed. "Ok, ok, no crib. Shh, I've got you. Nothing is going to hurt you, there is nothing to be afraid of, I promise. " He soothed again, rocking her and moving away from the crib.

Katie's tears slowed as she acknowledged her daddy wasn't going to put her down again.

He kissed her temple, "Hush now sweetheart, I'm not letting you go. You can sleep with me and mommy tonight, Ok honey?"

The baby rested her head on her father's shoulder, feeling content and safe in his arms.

After quickly checking on Liam in his room and doing a last minute walk-through of the house to make sure nothing was wrong, he headed back to his and Buffy's bedroom.

Katie was fast asleep on his chest as Angel slid back under the covers, Buffy sliding up beside him and slowly opening her eyes.

"Angel?" she questioned for an answer, seeing Katie with him.

"She was crying, didn't want to go back in the crib." He explained quietly.

She nodded and leaned up to kiss her daughter's head, running her fingers threw the dark brown locks. "Good, I can snuggle with two of my three favorite people tonight." Buffy smiled as she settled back down, resting her head on Angel's free shoulder.

He grinned and kissed his wife's forehead, "Likewise." He agreed.

* * *

December 4, 2006 – 2nd Anniversary - Cotton/China

* * *

Angel dropped to the ground, momentarily stunned by the last blow.

"Angel!" Buffy yelled, slicing the nearest demon in half with her trusted Scythe and cutting a path to her fallen husband.

Angel blinked the blood from his eyes and looked up in time to see the business end of a sword headed for his face.

Before Angel could react, Buffy slammed into the attacking demon. "Nobody is killing my husband..." she announced as she swung the powerful weapon in a deadly arc, "...on our anniversary!"

Angel recovered and rolled to his feet, collecting his fallen sword and joining his wife back to back. "Just like old times." He smirked as he decapitated the nearest demon.

"Are you referring to the apocalypse or me saving your butt?" She quipped as she ducked a vicious claw swing and sent the wooden stake end of her weapon into the offender's eye.

"Funny." He replied, busy with his own demon massacre.

He glanced behind him at Buffy and noticed she was focused on the hulking form she was fighting, but not the small demon sneaking in to disembowel her. He quickly pulled out the knife from his boot and launched into the offending demon's chest.

Angel grinned and spun, sending a high kick into the face of his attacker then swinging his sword around to finish it off.

Sensing more approaching, he grabbed Buffy's hand and swung her around, using her as a weapon as her legs made short work of the nearly demons.

"You know, you could warn me before you do that." She playfully scolded as he set her back down.

"Why? You're a natural." He smirked.

She rolled her eyes and hefted her weapon onto her shoulder, "Ok, Will needs me back on the eastern front, will you be able to handle the western without me?" She teased.

"Oh yeah, we'll be fine…I have Xander…you know he's a force to be reckoned with." The sarcasm was thick on his tongue.

_Then tension between Angel and Xander had dissipated nearly a year ago, after Angel confronted the Scooby gang shortly after his demon and soul merged. _

_It had taken several weeks for Xander to work through his own personal issues with the living vampire in his head before seeking out the man in question. Xander finally put to rest his own feeling for Buffy he'd been carrying around with him practically from the moment he saw her. He knew she would never love him beyond a friend, and now he could truthfully say he was ok with that. She was happy, that meant he was happy too. _

_The hatred he'd felt for Angel had also been put to rest. He deemed any sins Angelus caused in Sunnydale had been paid with Angel's centry long torment in hell. _

_Xander's eye had opened at the foolishness of his anger when Angel himself questioned the reasons. He'd never realized that Anya had walked a similar path as Angel, and he'd loved her with all his heart regardless of who she had been on the past. He realized he had no right to judge Angel's past when he never thought to judge Anya's. Angel was different now, he deserved to be treated as he is…not as he was._

_Also he knew if he didn't change his feeling real soon, Buffy's friendship would be forfeit. _

_Neither man considered the other to be his best friend, but they could be civil now at least. Xander would still make the occasional wise crack at Angel's expense, but in good nature and without spite. _

_A few times in recent months, the two had even shared drinks at the bar, they didn't share many common interests, but they could stand each other's company comfortably enough._

She shook her head at her husband, knowing he was trying to keep her from worrying. "I'll see you later." She stated. Not a question, he wasn't allowed to not survive this.

"You will." He promised, pulling his boot knife from the demon he killed earlier.

"Nice save by the way." She grinned and ran off towards the east.

Angel grinned, realizing she had known about the demon sneaking up on her, and had 'let' him save her.

He turned and jogged west.

Neither said goodbye, they never did. Both of them hated being separate during a battle, but the truth was they were both natural leaders, and in a battle they worked better apart. Their battle strategies complimented one another, the ability to run a entire slayer army from two directions was a testament to that.

…

"We missed our anniversary." Buffy mumbled as she collapsed next to Angel in their bed.

It was late the following evening, the battle over and won, as proof both sporting a variety of colorful bruises and bandages.

They had spent the morning cleaning themselves up, raiding the fridge then spending much desired quality time with their kids.

It was amazing how much a fight to the death helped dispel the monotony of an everyday life and make you realize how very wonderful the simple pleasure of changing a dirty diaper was.

The neighbors that babysat thought the couple went on a last minute anniversary trip, Willow's glamor disguising their injuries so as not to arouse suspicion.

"No we didn't." He muttered into his pillow.

"Ok, we spent our 2nd anniversary of our wedding battling an army of demons..." She rolled her eyes.

He turned over, carefully to minimize the ache in his ribs, "Just try and say you didn't enjoy it…I dare you."

She looked over at him, shock clearly written on her face. "I absolutely did not!"

He just stared her down.

She cracked, "Ok maybe a little."

He grinned and kissed her cheek. "Me too."

"You liked risking our children growing up without parents?" She lashed.

He deflated a little, "No, not that part…but we both have the essence of a demon in us Buffy, deep down, we need a little carnage every now and again. Keeps us sane."

She snuggled against her lover, "You keep me sane."

"Really?" he question with a grin.

"Usually…it's either that, or you're the one that drives me insane…I forget which."

"Likewise." He mumbled, his body desperately wanting to sleep.

"Angel?" Buffy asked, her voice heavy with drowsiness.

"Hmm?" He breathed out, eyes shut.

"I love you." She whispered.

He pulled her closer, the ribs on his right not as painful as his left. His arm wrapping tightly across her lower back, avoiding the slash she got on her shoulder.

She snuggled her head on his shoulder, pressing her face against his neck.

"I love you more." He answered when she was settled.

"Oh don't start that…we'll be arguing all night." She mumbled against his skin and drifted off to sleep.

He smirked and let his eyes drift shut again.

Soon after, the lovers slept a healing sleep.

…

The following morning, Buffy noticed with relief that Angel's limp was gone. She hadn't been happy to learn he'd had a sword driven threw his upper thigh during the battle. A little higher and their love life could have come to a disastrous end. She shook that thought away and buried it.

"Morning" She smiled, pouring a generous amount of coffee into the special mug she bought Angel for their 2 day late anniversary. "Feeling better?" she asked, settling herself down onto his lap and kissing his forehead, figuring if he wasn't limping he was fully healed.

"Am now." He grinning, taking the offered beverage and kissing his wife's lips good morning.

After the kiss Buffy eagerly awaited Angel to notice the mug.

After a long swallow he looked down at it, his eyebrow rising in surprise.

"You like it?" She asked.

"I love it." He replied, looking down at the pictures of his children on the clover covered mug, the words 'Our daddy is Irish.' written under it.

"The modern gift for 2nd anniversary is china…not a lot to choose from for a guy like you." She confessed.

"Are you calling me a bull in the china shop?" He said with mock offence.

"No…but you do tend to break things." She stated.

"Yeah, but it's usually do to me being thrown into them." He countered.

"True." She nodded.

"You did perfect Love" He said, kissing her cheek.

"I know you're Mr. Traditional and I play Mrs. Modern, but I did cheat a little this year."

"Oh?" He inquired.

"I got a little something cotton to wear for you tonight." She said with a sly smile and batting her long eye lashes.

He smiled lustfully at that. "Really? I look forward to seeing it."

"Cotton remember…" she explained while moving to straddle his lap and resting her arms around his shoulders. "…most of those sexy lingerie items you're picturing in your head are lace or nylon or silk…maybe satin." She clarified as to not get his hopes up.

"Well I've got something to wear for you too." He smirked evilly and pulled her closer.

"You?" She asked astounded, having never even thought of _him_ wear sexy lingerie for her before and now really eager for it.

"I'll show you mine when I see yours." He whispered seductively against her neck.

She grinned, "You're on."

…

After feeding the kids breakfast and getting them cleaned up, Angel disappeared upstairs to bring his first gift down.

At a year and a half, Katie was fascinated with picture books and constantly chewing a frozen teething ring. She would just sit for hours and 'read' her books, which was so unlike the rambunctious tot but Buffy figured she was finally slowing down and picking up on Angel's 'sit and read for hours' trait.

As Buffy watched Katie in her playpen, she sat rocking a 10 month old Liam to sleep in her arms, until something soft and warm suddenly wrapped around her.

"What is that?" She asked her husband with a sprouting grin.

"Your gift." He replied cryptically.

"A blanket?" She asked, not being able to see it very clearly from its position around her.

He unwrapped her and opened it up for her to see.

Her eyes widened. "Oh Angel, it's beautiful…and soft…I love it."

The simple white blanket was bordered in green shamrocks. Inside the square of leaves was an embroidered Claddagh design, their names and wedding date written in fancy script beneath it.

"Wrap me back up?" She asked, feeling a chill in the house suddenly on that cool December day.

He happily obliged, leaving it open enough in the front for Liam to breathe, as he slid into the seat on the couch beside her.

"Daddy!" Katie called from her crib, standing and looking out at her parents and little brother sitting on the couch and not wanting to be left out. "Read?" She asked, holding a book upside down.

He grinned and rose to get her, scooping the tot into his arms and settling back onto the couch.

"What do you have here?" He asked, taking the book as Katie snuggled into the blanket with Buffy. "The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen." He read the cover then flipped the book open. "Far away out at sea, the water is as blue as the petals of the most beautiful cornflower and as clear as the purest glass, but it is very deep, deeper than any anchor chain will reach…" He read to his family.

…

Dinner was made and eaten and Katie's portion cleaned off the wall and ceiling.

They had to watch Katie like hawks to see if she actually ate any of her food or just played with it.

The youngest girl in the house was fiercely independent, which made it nearly impossible for either of her parents to feed her without a nuclear meltdown.

In all honestly, even when she made a huge mess, it was easier to just let her feed herself.

Afterwards, they went about their nightly rituals, bathing the kids, dressing them, tucking them in. Angel continued the mermaid story until Katie's brown eyes slid shut.

When it was at last 'mommy and daddy time', the couple retreated to their bedroom to exchange their last gifts…and more than likely some body fluids.

Buffy grabbed a bag from her closet and hurried into the bathroom to change, "No peaking" she called playfully as she went.

Angel smirked and pulled the item he bought from his underwear drawer, re-reading the words written on the black cotton boxers made him almost laugh out-loud as he pictured her face when she read them.

A few minutes later Buffy slid open the door and walked out.

Angel was standing by the bed, wearing his robe to hide his surprise.

His dark eyes focused on the simple red camisole and matching red shorts. It was nothing sexy, although on Buffy, he though everything was sexy.

On the chest of her shirt were two small hearts, written in elegant white letters between the hearts was "Angel's Girl."

He grinned at that, feeling a rush of possession.

"You like?" She asked, swinging her hips as she walked towards him.

"Very much so." He agreed, taking a few steps towards her.

"I showed you mine, where's yours?" she teased, eagerly anticipating him removing his robe and seeing what he was hiding underneath.

She reached out and fiddled with the tied belt on the robe as he stared hungrily down at her chest, his eyes lingering over her two nearly overlapping pregnancies swollen bosom and the little white letters declaring his ownership of what lay beneath the thin cotton.

She pulled his belt off and pushed the robe down his broad shoulders, she grinned when she saw the tight form fitting boxers he wore, and the evidence he was getting aroused. Her eyes scanned the white lettering, somewhat obscured with Angel's swelling interest in her, but was still able to read it.

Her jaw dropped in surprise, obviously never thinking **he** would wear something so…vulgar? "I always have a (Heart) on for Buffy" she read aloud, trying to decide whether to laugh or smack him.

She smacked him.

"Oh my god! You're such a pervert!" She scolded, her rush of anger quickly condensing into a laugh.

"Only for you." He breathed, bending down and placing light kissed along her jaw, his fingers trailing up and grasping her slender forearms.

She tilted her head, giving him better access to her throat as his lips moved down to her scar, his mark.

"I love when you kiss me there." She breathed out, little tendrils of desire tingling to her nether region.

"I know." He whispered as he leaned forwards, slowly moving and leading her backwards to the bed.

Her hands had disappeared a few minutes ago into his hair, she loved to run her fingers threw the thick dark spikes.

A moment later she felt their headboard brush her back as Angel lowered them both onto the bed, his lips making everything else in the room seem blurred and unfocused.

Her camisole slipped over her head as he pulled it up, her shorts following soon after. He was pleasantly surprised to discover she hadn't been wearing anything underneath.

She knew nothing but his touch until she felt something fuzzy encircle her wrists.

Her eyes popped open when the cuffs clicked shut.

"Oh no you didn't just do that." She warned to him, pulling back and finding her wrists handcuffed neatly to the headboard with the magic cuff she got from Faith at her bachelorette party…the ones she had used on Angel on their wedding night.

He grinned back with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "Oh I think I did."

"I had those hidden." She accused.

"Not particularly well." He retorted.

At her angry face he leaned forwards and kissed her forehead, "I wasn't snooping in your stuff, I swear. I found them on accident. Actually Katie did...you really shouldn't keep things under the bureau where she can reach them."

She frowned, not having thought of that since when she hid them, Katie was still growing inside of her.

Angel knelt over her, his body straddling hers as he kissed her neck again.

She tried to keep the frown in place, angry and embarrassed at being caught so off guard and a little wigged at the thought of him actually using the cuffs on her. She was rapidly seeing the changes in him since his soul merger, and still trying to get used to the idea of a more Angelus-like Angel.

She had seen his more demonic side countless times in battle recently, but more and more he was also making appearances in the bedroom…like now.

As hard as she tried, his lips on her skin was making that frown melt into a low moan of pleasure.

The way he secured the cuffs to the headboard, gave her the ability to sit up or lay flat. As he kissed, her face and neck, his hands slipped under her bottom and slid her onto her back. Before she could protest, he pulled a length of fabric from somewhere behind him and wrapped it around her eyes.

"Ok, not fair, I didn't use the blindfold on you." She complained, still unsure if she was liking this or not.

He simply grinned and kissed her cheek, "Now don't go anywhere Lover."

She felt him move off the bed and heard the bedroom door slip shut. "What?" She cried, "Angel! …oh I am so staking you when I get these off…" She fumed under her breath as she rattled the unbreakable cuffs.

Five minutes later she heard the bedroom door open and Angel's bare feet lightly pad across the room, she felt his weight settle onto the bed beside her.

"You're a dead man." She stated with an obvious attitude.

He grinned, "Was." He emphasized.

"Will be again…" Buffy grumbled from her position lying naked and immobile in their bed.

"You're so cute when you're mad." He nipped at her ear.

She moved her head away from him, really getting irritated with her husband.

"Someone's feeling sour." He smiled, "I've just the thing to sweeten you up."

She heard what sounded like a cardboard box opening and inhaled the fresh baked aroma of something from a bakery.

"What are you doing?" She asked, "I'm not really enjoying this, like seriously Angel, let me go." She ordered.

She felt him slide up against her, "That's the thing about revenge lover, you don't have a choice about when or where or how." He toyed.

"Revenge? For what?" She demanded.

"Oh I'm thinking wedding night…someone left me chained to the bed all night." He clarified.

"On accident!" She countered.

"Open your mouth." He whispered.

"Why?" She asked, wondering exactly what his intentions were.

"You'll like it, I promise."

Hoping that her trust in him wasn't misplaced, she obeyed.

A second later she felt a fork slid into her mouth, on it, the most yummy cake she'd ever eaten. A piece of cake that tasted very familiar.

"Mmm, what is that?" She asked, eager for another bite.

He leaned over and licked a bit of frosting from her lip, "You'll see later."

"Can I have more?" she asked.

"Sure." He cut a small piece and had a wonderful thought on how to get back at her for their wedding day, when she smashed their wedding cake into his face. "I'll just…whoops." He teased, purposefully dropping the slice onto her bare stomach.

She gasped as the cold pastry fell onto her skin, the sensation rushing up her spine.

"Silly me, I seemed to have dropped it." He said in a very unconvincing voice, a husky tone evident. "Guess I'll just have to…" He leaned over her and ran his tongue along the mess, "…lick it up."

She shivered again, this time not from the cold, but from the sensation of his tongue on her flesh.

It took several minutes, but Angel dutifully cleaned her abdomen of the spilled cake, her breathing heavy with desire when he finished.

"Mmm, I guess I'll have to try that again." He muttered, cutting another slice and grinning evilly. A second time, he 'accidentally' dropped a piece of cake on her, this time it landed neatly between her breasts.

"Oh, clumsy me. Guess I'll have to lick that up too." He teased, again leaning over his bound wife and using his mouth to pleasure her while devouring the cake.

Buffy moaned under his assault, her anger having dissipated almost the second his mouth had begun to explore her belly, the sensation of his tongue in her navel had nearly made her forget the fact she was cuffed. Now he was nibbling at her stiffened nipples, and his actions were driving her body crazy with desire.

"Angel" She moaned, wanting him to go to the next step.

He pulled back and cut a last piece from the cake on the nightstand.

"Open wide." He told her, holding the cake an inch from her mouth.

She remembered the taste and eagerly opened, expecting him to gently slid the sweet treat into her mouth.

She was wrong.

With an evil smirk, he smashed the cake onto her face, mimicking what she did to him at their wedding.

"Angel!" she snapped, not believing he just did that.

"Told you one day I'd get you back." He justified, leaned down to help clean her face with his fingers and mouth.

"That was two years ago." She countered, just now figuring out he was also getting revenge for the cake in the face incident.

"I can be a very patient man." He stated, licking the frosting from her cheek.

When her face was clean her lips found his, and wouldn't let go.

He could smell her arousal; it filtered threw this system like a drug, his own body reacting powerfully to it.

He slid over her hips, straddling her thighs and settling his weight down on her legs. "I need to be inside you." He whispered, slipping off his much too tight boxers and kissing her madly.

She kissed back, equally wanting him, as she lifted a leg and wrapped it around his hip.

He understood her need and eased his achingly hard arousal into her hot chamber.

They both moaned in pleasure as he moved inside of her, but shortly after he realized this wasn't to his liking.

He wanted her hands running threw his hair and over his shoulders and down back as she normally did.

He stretched up and whispered the incantation to unlock the cuffs.

A second later they opened, releasing Buffy to handle him as she desired.

One of Buffy's hands immediately laced threw his hair, grabbing handfuls of the dark strands as her other arm snaked around his shoulder. Her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, drawing herself as close as possible, lifting her hips in rhythm with his movements within her.

Seconds, minutes, hours? They lost track of time, the world itself melted away as passion and pleasure filled their senses.

...

"That was amazing." Buffy sighed out from beneath Angel. Her arms wrapped tight around him, keeping him pressed against her.

He grinned, kissing her neck. "You're amazing." He praised into her ear, nibbling at the small silver hoop.

She turned her head at the tickling sensation, putting her lips in place of her ear.

Angel just as eagerly nipped at her lower lip.

After a few lip locked minutes, Buffy pulled away and pushed Angel onto his back so she could snuggle against his chest.

"Is there any more of that cake?" She asked after a happy and content silence.

"Maybe." Angel answered slowly, "...if I chose to share."

"Hey! You got to eat three slices off my naked body...I should get the same!" She reasoned.

His grin was wolfish, "Hmm...very tempting indeed."

Buffy sat up and snagged the cake off the table, breaking off a piece and popping it into her mouth.

"Mmm this is so incredibly yummy." She chewed. After a moment her eyes opened wide, "This is the same as our wedding cake!" she realized.

He nodded, "Had them make us a mini one tier version. It had our names...but I already eat that piece." He admitted.

"Off me." She added.

"You make it taste even better." he replied lustfully, his fingers going for her breasts.

"As I'm about to find out." She warned right before she smeared the cake slice in her hand onto his chest.

He simply smiled as she leaned down over him, slowly licking the frosting from his skin.

Her reward a moment later was his growl of approval as it rumbled beneath her lips.

Those kinds of noises she was discovering were a major turn-on.


	33. X-Mas Presents

December 25, 2006

* * *

Buffy slowly opened her eyes, but shut them again quickly.

The feeling of Angel's lips on her neck intensified with her eyes closed, it sent a rush of tingling throughout her body. '_Now this is a pleasant way to wake up_.' She thought happily, running her fingers threw his thick dark spikes.

It was early, too early for even the kids to be awake. At one and a half and ten months, they were still too young to fully grasp the concept of Christmas. In fact, this would be Liam's first.

She smiled thinking of their little faces lighting up upon seeing the tree filled with presents. It had taken some convincing, but Angel finally relented on the Santa debate.

He hadn't wanted to tell them about Santa, he explained with agonizing detail how it was lying to them, it would ruin their trust in them, and how he wouldn't be apart of that.

She'd convinced him eventually that believing in Santa was something magical, that all children deserved to experience the awe of waking up Christmas morning to see their tree bursting with gifts from the famous jolly elf himself.

Angel had scowled, "I didn't grow up with Santa." He had continued, "In fact, there were tales in England of a Father Christmas as far back as the 16 century. The actual character of Santa was invented in the 1820's. Christians absorbed the mid-winter tradition from the Norse god Odin, who at Yuletide would appear as a ghostly procession in the winter sky and led the Wild Hunt. His appearance stems from the Dutch figure Sinterklass, who was based on the Christian Bishop St. Nicholas. In 1823 Clement Clarke Moore's poem 'A Visit from St. Nicholas', also known as 'The Night Before Christmas', led to Santa's increased popularity. In fact, there were originally only eight reindeer as in the poem, but in 1939 Rudolph was invented as a marketing scheme for a department store." He finished with a smirk.

Buffy blinked at her husband, "Just so you know Honey, if you repeat ANY of that to our children, I'm staking you." She said in all seriousness.

The wind had fallen out of his sails, especially after she promised him there would be no sex until he agreed to Santa. That trick didn't always work anymore, but it did for that argument.

That had been a few months ago, and currently, there was defiantly sex going on.

His lips had wandered from her neck some time ago, in fact, he was under their sheets and doing some very interesting things with his tongue at the moment.

'_God I love this man_.' She thought, hands still clamped firmly in his hair, slightly pushing him deeper, which he obliged all too eagerly. _'Man, times like this, I really miss him not needing breathe. Although he can hold his breath for an impressive amount of time and that is pretty damn awesome too.' _

Not that she wished him still a pure vampire; she had long since fallen in love with his heartbeat, his warmth, his life. '_His tongue._'

…

Once the kids woke, the real fun began.

Angel was struck by the awe clearly shown on Katie's face; her deep brown eyes the size of saucers.

Her first Christmas she had been too young to fully understand what was going on, but even at a year and a half, she could clearly see the difference in the tree from the previous day. The presents had tripled, and with the glow from the lit tree they seemed to sparkle.

She let of an excited scream and struggled in her father's arms to be put down. "Santa came, santa came!" She screeched over and over. The second her onsie covered feet hit the ground she was running towards the enchanted sight.

Buffy glanced at her husband a moment and smiled, he had the same look on his face as Katie, except not for the gifts he placed under the tree that night, but for the magical expression on his little girl's face.

"Told you so." Buffy sang playfully in his ear, and then hurried past him with Liam kicking and squealing in her arms.

Quickly shaking off the dumbstruck paralysis, he sat and scooped his daughter into his lap before she could tear open all the gifts under the tree, especially those that weren't hers. To appease the sudden scream of protest, he shoved the closest gift with her name on it into her little hands, the screaming instantly stopped as she tore into it.

Buffy leaned beside him, both parents watching their children unwrap the gifts from their laps, helping when the tots encountered something too hard to open and encouraging them to move to the next gift.

"Damn!" Buffy whispered just loud enough for Angel to hear.

"What?" he questioned, feeling everything was perfect right now.

"I forgot the camera! How could I forget the camera! It's Liam's first Christmas!" She exasperated. "I wanted to get a pic of Katie's face this morning…" She sighed.

He grinned and wrapped an arm around her, placing a kiss on her golden crown. "I'll draw it later, trust me, that's not a face I'll soon forget."

She looked up at him and smiled in relief. He always kept a sketchpad nearby, often he'd lounge in bed and just unload the day's memories in his art before settling down to sleep. In her mind, the images he drew were far better than any camera, he captured the intricately details so fully that even film had a hard time comparing. "You're a godsend." She whispered, kissing his cheek.

He simply grinned and resumed watching their children tear open gifts.

…

Later, after the kid's gifts were open, the two youngsters sat on the floor together playing with the recently uncovered toys. Katie flipping threw a picture book while Liam chewed the ears of his new stuffed dragon. Every now an again they would switch to another toy strewn around them as their parents watch on with interest.

Buffy looked down when a small check sized box slid into her lap.

"What's this?" She asked, looking up into her husband's mischievous face.

"Open it and see." He replied coolly.

Eyeing him a second, she turned her attention to the present and slowly opened it.

When she pulled the top off the box and looked inside, here eyes widened and she quickly turned her head towards Angel. "Really?" She asked, excited.

He simply nodded.

She shrieked and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him madly.

The two children turned at the sound to see their mother tackle their father to the floor. After a second, they turned their attention back to their presents. That scene was nothing new.

"You're evil." Buffy muttered in between passionate kisses. "Very…evil."

He laughed, "Love to see what I get for being good." He suggested with a mischievous smirk.

"We may never know." She teased wickedly.

After a moment she settled, content to just lie on top of him and listen to his heartbeat as she watched their children play.

"So" He grinned, "What did you get me?" He asked from beneath her, his hands wandering.

She turned her head to look at him, "Was _I_ supposed to get you something? Oops, I must have forgotten…" she teased.

"Really?" He asked with a smirk, "Well I suppose I could let you make it up to me in sexual favors…" He finished by squeezing a firm cheek in his large hand.

She gasped at his bluntness and slapped her hand over his mouth, "Shh, kids…right there." She shushed him, looking at their babies playing only feet away.

Mmm..hmmhmm...mmm" He muttered under her hand.

"Huh?" She asked, then realizing her hand was still over his mouth, she released him.

With the same mischievous glint he repeated, "_I_ can be quiet."

She slapped his chest and sat up. "Perve." She muttered to him.

"I see how it is" He mock taunted, "I give you a checkbook to an unlimited account, and you give me, hmm…nothing…"

"I thought you said you didn't want anything? That I was enough…" she jokingly countered, remembering the numerous times he'd told her that. "Besides, you said you never wanted to use this money, that is was blood money." She stated, knowing she had this conversation with him shortly before their wedding when he admitted to having an account Angelus opened over a century ago with the money he stole from his victims. He had been adamant about only using it in extreme emergencies, if that. He had felt he didn't deserve to use the money; it was just another reminder of the terrible atrocities he'd performed in the past.

He shrugged as he sat up and scooted beside her, "I had a change of heart, besides, _I'm_ not the one who will be using it." He grinned, puller her closer so he could nip and kiss at her neck.

She sighed in contentment at his warmth tickling her neck. But her mind was still unsettled, "A change of heart?" she questioned, puling back.

"I am half Angelus now Buffy, that money is rightfully mine. I understand how it came to be mine is wrong, but I'm not going to just let it sit and rot when it can be used to support my family. Besides, I know a certain sexy blond slayer I married is in desperate need of some retail therapy." He finished pulled her back in to kiss at her neck.

"Mmm…I am…that's because _someone_ keeps tearing my lingerie off…I'm down to a dangerous few..." She added a second later, "not to mention most of my clothing is vomit and food stained…"

"Hey, I'm only guilty of the first one." He denied, "Although, I wouldn't need to tear so many panties off you if you'd just stop wearing them…" He suggested.

"I'm not walking around commando for the sole purpose of protecting my underwear from you." She shot down.

"Doesn't have to be the _sole_ purpose." He suggested with a leer.

She playfully shoved him back and stood, "You're such a horn dog now." She scolded, rolling her eyes and hiding a grin. She wouldn't admit she loved every second of it.

He smirked and stood, "What can I say?" He pulled her against him, his arms wrapped around her waist from behind, "You bring you the beast in me." He whispered into her ear.

"That's what I can't figure out." She stated, she turned in his arms and looked up at him, studying his face. "I totally got your broody side, even understood your evil psycho counterpart…but where did Mr. Lusty come from?" She questioned, honestly never seeing this touchy lovey side of him in the past.

He furrowed his brow in thought, looking into himself for an answer. After a moment he replied, "I'm assuming that's a side effect of a century of suppressed sexual urges finally being released."

She digested that for a moment, "You were celibate the whole time you had your soul?" She asked astounded, wondering how something who looked like him could be celibate…at all…ever.

He shifted a little, slightly pulling back, "Not exactly celibate…but when you're constantly miserable and depressed…that craving for love doesn't actually get satisfied by having desperate and meaningless sex just to feel anything at all." He admitted.

She may have been offended by that admission in the past, but now, she understood. She'd felt the same needs when she was sleeping with Spike, the desperate and meaningless desire to feel anything. Spike never gave her the satisfaction she had craved, but it didn't stop her from trying. Like a junkie looking for a fix, reason had no concept.

She nodded, wrapping her arms about him and pulling him closer to close the gap he'd created. "And now?" She probed.

He leaned down and captured her mouth, after a long moment he pulled back and told her, "Now, I think I'm overflowing with love." He muttered, using his mouth to make love to her neck.

She smiled and turned her head, giving him better access. "I know the feeling." She admitted, knowing he satisfied her is ways she hadn't even known she was missing...and not just in physical expressions.

The fact she went to bed with him beside her every night, and she woke with him still next to her in the morning acted as a soothing balm to the burn of rejections she'd left for a good deal of her adult life. Starting with her father, so many men left her over the years, including Angel...but his constant presence now helped heal those old scars.

…

Despite the heated kisses, they forced their hormones back into their pants.

It was Christmas morning, in a few hours their house would be filling with friends and family, and right now on the couch in front of their kids was not the time to be flinging clothes and satisfying urges.

Buffy stood, smoothed out her pajama top and adjusted her bottoms back on straight after Angel's wandering hands had shifted them.

She bent under the tree the pulled a medium sized box from under it, she heard Angel groan on the couch as she purposely pushed her bottom out for him to admire from behind her.

Quickly moving back to the couch, and slightly guilty for teasing him, she slid herself into his lap and placed the box into his hands when his arms wrapped around her waist.

"What's this?" He questioned, giving the box a little shake.

"Open it and see." She teased, repeating back his words to her from earlier.

He did so, and smiled at the contents.

"Perfect." He grinned, pulling out the fresh sketchpad and charcoal pencils he preferred and moving the box to the floor. His eyes fell to the two youngsters miraculously still occupied by the new toys while his hands opened the pad and began to sketch.

Buffy loved watching him draw; she was amazed at how his hands could take the world around them and simplify it into a few short but perfect strokes, capturing the complexity of three dimensional life into a two dimensional surface with only a white background and a collection black lines and curves. Her eyes followed his strokes, feeling his hands pushing down on the paper as it sat in her lap, watching their children magically appear out of nothing on the once blank sheet.

"I love watching you do that." She muttered, her arm wrapping around his neck as she nuzzled against his cheek, her hands idly toying with his dark spikes.

He grinned at the contact, but his dark eyes never left the kids, his focus totally consumed.

After only minutes, the picture was complete.

She looked down at it, newly amazed each and every time. "I want to hang it up." She suggested.

He looked over at her, amused, "You want to hang then all up." He accused.

"They're all hang worthy." She declared. After a second, "Seriously, you should submit some of your work to a gallery, I know they'd take them, you'd be an instant hit."

He shook his head, "No, the only place I want my work displayed is with my family. For me, these pieces are intimate, not for the public to..." He trailed, his eyes focused on the scene playing out across the room.

Buffy noticed his gaze shift and turned her head to see what he was looking at.

"What are you looking at?" She whispered.

Angel was grinning against her ear, holding her tighter as he watched their children play.

Katie stood and grabbed Liam's new stuffed dragon, holding the larger than her stuffy in her small arms above the floor. The younger child crawled over to reach for the item but his sister held it above the boy's reach.

"Now that's a familiar scene." Buffy muttered, remembering stealing toys from Dawn when they were young.

On cue, Liam's hazel green eyes filled with tears and he started to pout.

"Liam, up." Katie commanded, in her own way trying to get her little brother to stand and take his toy.

Buffy moved to diffuse the situation before a meltdown occurred, but Angel's grip tightened on her, refusing to release.

"Just wait." He suggested, feeling something really special was about to happen.

Katie was standing in front of Liam now, the toy tossed aside.

The older tot had been practically walking since she was nine months old, having always been extremely ahead of her age_._

_ Buffy vividly remembered on her birthday, January 19, 2006, she had been sitting on the floor with Katie, her belly full and nearly ready to pop with Liam. She had been holding Katie's hands, helping her stand when Angel had walked into the room, heading towards the stairs. Katie had turned and watched him a moment, then repeated his movements, rushing towards him. Buffy had nearly collapsed in shock as her nine month old nearly ran across the room. She only made it a few steps before she'd tumbled to the floor, but both parents had witnessed the act. Within a second, Angel forgot whatever he'd been doing and had slipped down into the floor and helped the baby stand again, over the course of a few hours; they watched and cheered as Katie learned to walk from one parent to the other. Buffy would always consider that to be her best birthday present. _

Now, as Katie stood in front of her little brother, she leaned down and grabbed his chubby outstretched hands, and pulled him into a standing position. The ten month old wasn't quite as eager and independent as his sister had been, but his small face was bunched in concentration as Katie took a step backwards, and led him an unsteady step forwards.

"Oh my god." Buffy whispered, her hands covering her mouth and eyes filling with tears at the touching scene. Angel's eyes never wavered from the kids, but his hands were sketching at a furious rate.

Katie took two more steps back, Liam taking two forwards before he lost balance and fell forwards. Katie landed on her butt as Liam collapsed on top of her.

After a moment of heavy silence, both babies starting laughing and giggling.

Buffy glanced down at the sheets of paper covering her legs and saw the scene she just witnessed in a few quick sketches.

Smiling, she slid off his lap and onto the floor beside the kids.

"You helping Liam learn to walk sweetie?" She asked her daughter, who had a guilty expression like she had been caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar before dinner.

At the words of praise, Katie grinned and nodded. "Liam up." She repeated.

"Yeah, he was." She agreed, holding her son's hand and helping as he stood shakily with help. "You want to walk like us honey?" She asked the boy as he took an unsteady step in front of her.

Angel sat still on the couch a few moments, sketching, before he put the pad down and joined his family on the floor.

Liam's whole hand wrapped around his father's index finger as he pulled himself up, and took a few steps towards his mother.

They were all grinning ear to ear as he walked his first steps.

Both Buffy and Angel agreed which was their favorite Christmas present that year.

…


	34. Happy Birthday Buffy

January 19, 2007

* * *

"Giles! What's going on, why were you so cryptic on the pho…" She trailed when she pushed open the doors to her office and saw everyone sitting around, ridiculous little party hats firmly in place.

"Surprise!" They all shouted, causing Buffy's mouth to drop open in rare but actual surprise.

"Happy Birthday Buffy" Her father of the heart wished, pulling the blond woman into a hug, causing Liam in her arms to giggle and reach for him saying "Papa!" The boy not yet old enough to say Grandpa.

Buffy hugged him back and thanked him, sending an evil eye to her husband walking in a few steps behind her, holding Katie's hand as she happily ran along beside him. The twinkle in his eye told her better than words he'd known all about this and had kept it a secret. "You're so dead." She whispered to him as Katie clapped and laughed along with her family.

Angel grinned, "Happy Birthday my love." He expressed and kissed her on the cheek, completely ignoring the empty threat on his life. He scooped Liam from her arms with his free hand, freeing her to thank and hug her friends and family.

"Come on you two little trouble makers; let's go get your toys from daddy's office." He coaxed his children to keep them entertained, for a few minutes anyways.

…

Willow smirked, seeing her best friend go from 'Ready to slay' to 'ready for cake' in about 3 seconds flat. "Hey Buffy, Happy Birthday!" She cheered, hugging her friend tight.

"See, not every birthday you have ends in chaos and fear of death." Xander piped in, hugging Buffy after Willow finished.

"It's early yet." Buffy remarked, knowing her past birthdays mostly were just that.

"Nothing bad happened last year? Right?" The redheaded witch asked.

Buffy shook her long blond haired head, "No, the opposite actually, my little girl took her first steps." She smiled at the memory.

"See, that is of the good." Xander justified, "Not every Buffy Birthday is bad."

"Katie walking…could have been an apocalypse right there. I love her to death…but she is a little monster." She grinned affectionately at her overly rambunctious daughter.

"Must be in the blood." Xander quipped.

Buffy slanted an eye at her dark haired friend.

"No offense meant." He quickly added, not meaning to imply Angel was a monster. He learned his lessons the hard way...but did eventually learn.

"When Xander was little he would take every pan from the cabinets and arrange them out on the floor, pretend they were a train to some magical land." Willow chimed in to diffuse the conversation.

"Mostly because I wanted to escape my house and my parents constant bickering…" He added dryly.

"Well you were a monster too…and me…I'm sure I was too." Willow added.

"You cried when you broke the yellow crayon." Xander reminded her.

"Shut up." She muttered quietly.

Buffy shook her head at her two long term friends, "Ok, while you sort of which of you was the worst child, I'm going to find mine before they drive my husband to insanity."

After hugging hello to Dawn, Connor and Oz, Buffy retreated into Angel's office to find him sitting Indian style on the floor with the kids reading a book.

Katie was squirming already, more interested in what was going on outside the closed doors than the story her father was reading, while Liam seemed content to listen.

"She looks like you, but she's all me." Buffy grinned and rescued her daughter from Angel's lap.

"How so?" He questioned, an eyebrow raised.

"Who wants to sit and read with a party going on?" She smiled, seeing Katie's eager to party face. "You want to mingle sweetie?"

Katie nodded her dark head, "Yeah, minngel." She tried to repeat the foreign word.

Angel shook his head, "Ok, ok, mingle it is then." He relented, having tried his best to stay out of the spotlight. "You ready to party champ?" He asked his son as he stood and followed behind his wife.

Liam just looked up at him, stoic and content with whatever they wanted.

"He gets the taciturn from you." Buffy accused as she headed into the group.

"Does not." Angel muttered. "You just haven't learned to talk yet…right?" He asked the blond boy in his arms.

Liam blinked and grinned.

"Course you take her side…momma's boy." He joked, kissing the silent baby's chubby cheek and re-joining the party.

…

Not long after Angel heard, "Hey, there's the little monster."

Dawn grinned, grabbing her nephew from her brother-in-law and kissing his cheek.

"No, the monster is Katie…he's still manageable." Angel countered, hearing Katie screaming happily as Giles tickled her from across the room.

Liam just smiled, enjoying the attention.

…

Light rock played over the speakers, a few coolers of beer around the room helped everyone relax and mingle with the party atmosphere.

Angel frowned when he saw his wife standing off to the side, not mingling and with a line of worry marring her beautiful face.

He pressed a beer into his wife's hand. "Smile, it won't kill you." He assured, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and kissing her neck.

"Getting anti-brooding advise from Dr. Brood, I must be terminal." She quipped, with a sad smile.

"Hey, this is your party, I know there is a song about crying if you want to…but I'm very much against that happening." He added, worried his wife wasn't having fun.

She gave him an honest smile, "No crying…but you know the drill…me and parties…kinda like picnics and ants, stripes and polka dots…sun and vampires…they don't mix well without major clashing."

He shook his head at her, "Nothing is going to happen. Giles and I looked up today in a hundred books, no risings of any kind scheduled. Willow did a magic check, nothing in the mystical department either. Hellmouth is dormant, I promise." He insisted.

She grinned at him, "You check up on today?"

He grinned back, "Well there was warranted suspicion…but it's all quiet on the demonic front."

"Ok, if you say so." She relented, figuring Angel wouldn't have done half-assed research, nor would Giles and Willow. If they said all was quiet…it would be.

Finally shoving her apprehension for the day down, she took a swallow of her beer and smiled, the gesture finally reaching her eyes.

"Now that's more like it." He smiled back, taking her hand and leading her back to the crowd to celebrate.

…

An hour or so later, Spike slid into the room. His bright blue eyes shifted around as he absorbed the scene.

His gaze fell on Buffy surrounded by her friends, his poof of a grand-sire had his arm around her waist as she sat on his lap, they all talked and laughed at something Xander said. All he knew was a decent amount of alcohol must be involved if Angel was laughing with Xander.

However Spike wasn't really paying attention to the details, he was on a mission…and he couldn't complete that mission while Buffy was wearing Angel like a new belt.

He spied around the room, keeping to the walls, eyes constantly absorbing the scene.

"Ow." He yelped suddenly as Faith slapped his chest and grabbed his hand to drag him into the center of the room.

"Don't be shifty lover." She warned with a smirk, "Save it for tonight."

He halted her, pulling his hand back and causing the dark hair woman to fall backwards against his chest. "It is tonight Luv." He replied with a lustful smirk.

"Save it for _later_ tonight, Billy." She quipped his Billy Idol look and sauntered away to join the group.

He grinned, hated the nickname, but followed his girl, completely forgetting any feelings but the ones concerning his dark slayer and what he was going to do with her later. His eyes followed every move her tight leather covered ass as she moved away.

…

After half-hour or so, Spike noticed Angel retreat to a table to nurse his beer as Buffy shared in some girl talk with Dawn, Faith, and Willow.

The blond vampire saw his opportunity and went for it.

He slid into the vacant chair beside Angel, the dark-haired living vampire free for the moment of little ones as the children rotated between the eager hands of family and friends.

"Didn't think you'd show up tonight." Angel commented, not needing to look to see who had sat beside him. Without being asked, he grabbed a beer from the cooler beside him and slid it over to the undead vampire.

Spike shrugged, "Little woman dragged me along." He replied coolly, accepting the beer with a nod of his head.

Despite Spike's cold tones, Angel could hear the underlying devotion for all things Faith in his voice.

Now that the younger vampire was no longer making a play for his wife, the two had become almost friends.

They still bickered a lot, but they also shared a long and complicated past. They both were demons with souls, they both loved slayers, they had unsavory memories of a dark past and hopes for a bright future with the ones they loved.

Although they still on a primary level hated one another.

The ensouled vampire popped the top off the beer and chugged a good portion of it for some courage.

"So…" Spike started, wanting to cut back to his mission and ask some pretty dicey questions, but mildly afraid Angel would stake him if he prier too deep.

"So, what?" the older man replied, mildly curious at why Spike was hesitating. He normally just jumped in feet first when it came to…everything.

"I was wonderin…not that I much care about your happiness or anything…but how do you know when it's 'right'?"

Angel turned and looked at the demon beside him for the first time so far that night. "When what is right?" He asked, confused.

Spike shrugged, "You know…between you and your squeeze. How do you know when to step things up a notch."

"I'm not sure that's any of your business…" Angel replied with narrowed eyes.

"You bloody idiot, I'm not talking about your wonder-mom over there, trust me when I say you've rubbed between those thighs enough to ruin that filly fantasy forever. I'm talkin about Faith…I want to…you know…do right by her. That lass's got me wrapped around her like a scarf…and I'm sad to say I'm not mindin it one bit. Willin to bet my unlife I go down on one knee in front of that spitfire and I'll be sailin threw a bloody window into the daylight though…" The blond admitted, staring longingly at the dark Slayer in question.

"Oh, right…" Angel swallowed his anger with a sip of beer, seeing Spike wasn't coveting what was his again. "Uhh…as for advise…I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer that."

"Oh come on Peaches, you've got a slayer for a bedmate, you dealt with the whole slayer/vamp relationship, you an Faith have some twisted dark past, fight for redemption thing goin on…you got to have somethin for me here! Anything…a crumb is all I'm askin for."

Angel took a deep breath and sighed it out, "Spike, just because I'm married to Buffy doesn't mean I hold the key to all slayer wants and needs. Slayers aren't some subspecies, they're just woman. The best answer I can give you, however lame it is…is talk to Faith about it. She's the one who can tell you what she wants from your relationship. Going behind her back will hurt her more than directly asking…and more than likely hurt _you_ more in the long run."

Spike grimaced, mostly because he knew Angel was right...he hated admitting that, ever. "I can't stand this…I swore I loved Dru…and then I thought I loved Buffy…but with Faith…I can't even begin to comprehend what me brain is telling me about her. Everythin else…that was lust mate…pure obsessive lust…but now…I really do love her with everything I am."

"Then tell her that." Angel urged.

"How the hell am I supposed to do that? Xena over there can break me in half with a look." He sighed out in defeat.

"The Spike I know never backed down from a challenge before…" Angel teased, alcohol making him feel pretty good by now.

"Ain't no challenge here…this is me heart man. It might not beat like some, but it's there…it's real…and I don't even know if she likes me…or if I'm just some plaything for her to chain up and shag to insanity."

Angel shook his head at his over-dramatic friend. "Faith's not the type to stick around if she's not happy…the fact you two have been together for like 2 years should be enough evidence she's interested in something long term." He reasoned to the unreasonable demon.

"Ya think?" Spike asked, uncertain. In two years he found it funny how he never really talked to her, it was mostly just wise cracks and sex.

"Positive." Angel insisted.

Unbeknownst to the guys, across the room Buffy and Faith where having a near identical conversation.

"I don't know Buff, every time we go out, he brings me to a bar or a club…he's never suggested a real dinner…you know like someplace you wear nice clothes and don't dance on the table after." Faith sighed in irritation.

"Have you ever asked him to bring you someplace…better?" Buffy fished.

"What! No way! He finds out I'm thinking of slowing things down he'd vanish faster than my dad did...and I never even met him." The dark Slayer replied defensively.

Buffy inhaled deeply, "If you don't want to talk to Spike, why talk to me?" It was no secret they weren't considered BFFs. The mutual wanting to kill the other was long gone, but they still had their differences.

"He got a soul for you…there is some deep history between you two that I can't even touch." She replied, hiding her worries that she was a cheap replacement slayer.

"Listen Faith, I spent a little time with unsouled Spike, a lot with chipped Spike, then some with crazy Spike…this Spike…of the here and now…I know nothing about. That's _your_ Spike." The blond slayer emphasized.

"_My_ Spike?" Faith questioned, secretly loving the sound of that.

"Oh yeah. He looks at you is a way he never looked at me or anyone…and note this is not me being jealous…I have a sexy vampire of my own." She sent a little wave to Angel sitting across the room with…Spike?

"How does he look at me?" Faith asked, doing her best to not see Spike looking over at her.

Buffy took another deep breath, "When Spike was obsessed with me…that's what it was. Creepy obsessed love. With you…that's love. Not lust, not obsession…pure real love. I know for a fact if you drop the 'tough chick' act, show him the real Faith; whoever she is…He'll only love you more."

The dark slayer scowled, "Tough chick act"? She repeated, a little angry.

"You're not a cold bitch Faith, but you do tend to try and portray one. Spike might respond to that with his hard dark shell, but there is a soft center inside, I assure you. I really thought after spending two years with the guy you'd know that by now."

Faith sat back and thought, pissed and angry both at Buffy for pointing it out, and at herself for knowing the blond was right.

"We never really talked about it...or anything really…" Faith said quietly, thinking over her past two years of doing little else with Spike than sex and partying.

"Sex doesn't define a relationship, Faith…you need a heck of a lot more than that…I mean yeah it's an important piece of the pie chart…but not the only piece." Buffy explained.

"I did walk in on him doing something I never expected I'd find him doing…" Faith offered.

"Doesn't sound like something I want to know." Buffy urged before horrible details arose.

"Not that…well maybe a few times, but we all do that…but what I meant was…he was writing poetry! What kind of hard ass vamp writes poems?"

"I said soft center." Buffy pointed out.

"He didn't know I read em…but I hate to admit I like em. They might have even been about me…which is both terrifying and equally…I don't know…cute?" She asked, unsure.

"Just talk to him Faith. No bar, no club, no sex…just talk with the defense walls down. I bet you'll like what you find." The married slayer promised.

The dark slayer nodded slowly, "But…what if he doesn't want the 'real' me? We've been shagging each other forever…this is…I don't…what if we fight?"

"Fighting is ok, Angel and I fight…there is no such thing as 'perfect' in a relationship. But when there is love as a base…nothing else matters. Fight with Spike, find out what you both want…no one else can tell you."

"And if it ends?" Faith asked almost afraid of the answer.

"If it's real…it won't" Buffy simply offered.

…

"What were you talking to Spike about…I wasn't aware you two were actually civil." Buffy asked her husband after Faith and Spike left to sort out their relationship.

Angel shook his head, "Hey as long as he isn't trying to steal my wife or annoy the hell back into me, he's ok. Believe it or not, he was asking for romantic advice."

"You too?" Buffy asked, laughing at the idea of Faith and Spike asking _them_ for advice in…anything…at all…ever.

"Faith asked you for advice?" Angel questioned with a laugh of his own.

"What, you don't think I can give good guidance? I was a guidance councilor you know…at Hellmouth High…which I admittedly destroyed again…along with all of Sunnydale…" She deflated a bit at that.

"I meant more on the perspective of Faith asking for it. She's very…'want, take, have'…not so much 'want, think, plan, have'." He clarified, wrapping an arm around his wife's waist and drawing her closer.

"Yeah…there's that." She agreed.

"You know what is really funny?" He asked.

"What?" She questioned.

"We're actually spending time talking about Spike and Faith when Dawn has agreed to take the kids for the night." Angel revealed with a promise of lust in his grin.

"Really?" Buffy asked excitedly.

"After presents and cake, it's just us for the night." He repeated, equally liking the idea of a little adult time with his love on her birthday.

She smiled and grabbed his hand, "Let's go cut the cake then." She insisted as she dragged him towards the present loaded table.

…

Cake was served and presents were opened, all the while Buffy silently feared the apocalypse would jump out of the next gift.

When all the presents were open and the cake was eaten, she let her fears evaporate and finally relaxed for an evening of fun with family and friends.

…

Later that night:

"Happy Birthday beloved." He whispered to her as she lightly dozed against his chest.

"It's after midnight…so it's not really my birthday anymore." She countered while half asleep.

The party had ended hours ago, and the couple had since retreated to their home, their bedroom to be specific.

There was just something magical about an empty house that made loving one another that much better.

Maybe it was not worrying the kids would hear the noises and they'd be scarred for life.

"You have to admit, your birthday record is defiantly improving." He insisted.

She sighed, "Well there it goes, you just doomed the Hellmouth to open up and eat you on my birthday next year." She muttered into her husband's warm skin, loving being atop him while his arms held her close.

"Will not." He promised.

"Better not." She countered, "I have far too much stock invested in you to start dating again."

He snorted, "Well I guess I can sleep soundly with the idea I've ruined you for all other men." He teased back.

"Better believe it." She yawned against him.

He was just drifting off when she spoke again, drawing him back to the land of wakefulness.

"Angel?"

"Huh?"

"Are you ruined for all other woman?" She asked.

He smiled sleepily, "I am." He assured, kissing her temple.

"Good." She sighed, letting her mind ease as sleep reached for her again.

He held her a little tighter as they drifted off to sleep.

...

AN: I did sort of mean to post this on Buffy's actually birthday of Jan 19...O well a day late...so sue me.


	35. Who Ordered the Apocalypse? Part 1

March 20, 2007

* * *

Buffy burst threw the office doors, her body showing tense and ready muscles under her patrol pants and shirt. Her face set firmly on 'Slay-mode' as her right hand tightened around her Scythe.

The only drawback for the lethal looking slayer was the baby car seat in her left hand.

Angel appeared right behind her, leather coat swaying as he walked, axe in hand, broadsword strapped to his back, his dark eyes flashing in eager readiness.

His own ready for action display equally ruined by the baby girl cradled against his chest.

"What are we up against?" Buffy demanded as her eyes settle on her watcher, eager to put domestic life on hold for a few hours and kick some demon ass that her body so craved for.

"Buffy, Angel, perfect timing." Giles greeted as he found the page he needed in one of the many dusty tomes he and the gang had been searching through.

"Oh you know, same crazy psycho killer is trying to open the Hellmouth and destroy the world." Xander vaguely answered her question, "Like we haven't seen _that _before." He emphasized the 'that' rather loudly.

"Do we know who this new player is?" Angel asked, shifting a dozing Katie onto the crook of his arm.

"Not so new." Xander added.

"What do you mean? Who is this guy?" Buffy asked, placing Liam's car seat on the table and focusing on Giles.

The watcher quickly removed his glasses and nervously cleaned the spotless lenses on his shirt. "Well, the data we have all points to an old enemy."

"Who is...?" Buffy pushed.

Giles lifted his eyes and met Angel's. "Drusilla."

Angel shut his eyes as the old memories rushed back, both of his demon and souled encounters with the insane vampiress.

When he opened his eyes a moment later, his wife's hazel green eyes were studying his face with concern.

"Are you ok with this?" She asked him, unsure where his stance on possibly killing his sired sat.

"I am." He assured, although he himself wasn't sure how true the statement was. He was fairly certain he wouldn't really know until the actual moment of truth arrived.

She took his free hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze while she directed her attention back to the gang. "Where is she? Do we know anything more than who and what?"

Willow spoke up, "According to the latest on the Wiccan Hotline, she's somewhere in Cleveland or the surrounding area. So yeah, not exactly useful on where, but we're working on it."

Angel shook his head, "Drusilla tends to slip under the radar, so you can't trust traditional magicks and tracking with her. If you want to know what her plans are…you need to get into her head, and trust me when I say you don't want to go there."

"She's crazy, how logical can she be." Xander stated.

"One word, Acathla." Angel remarked tonelessly.

"Uhh, that was _your _crazy idea." Xander pointed out.

The living vampires sighed, "No, not originally. Hey I would have been just fine with stalking and torture, I never would have thought to go that far if Dru hadn't point out where to find him. She has visions, sees things others can't." After a moment of pause, "How do you think I found out about Jenny researching my curse? If Dru hadn't sent me to the school…" he trailed, seeing the hurt cross Giles face.

"Yes, well let's do keep focused on the current threat?" Giles asked, pushing the bad memories back to the little box in his head filed under, 'Do Not Open.'

They all nodded silently.

"Umm, ok well, according to the Darkon codex, there is a prophesy of the Hellmouth opening on Ostara, the vernal equinox during of the full moon." The watcher stated.

"Tomorrow is the first of spring." Buffy added crestfallen. _'Great, another apocalypse…'_

"Yeah…but yesterday was a new moon, March 25 will be the first quarter and the full shouldn't be until Apr 2." Oz stated, knowing the cycle of the moon better than anyone else in the room. Of course that most likely had to do with being a werewolf…that stuff was kind of important for him to know.

"Well then tomorrow couldn't be the prophesied opening, the moon phases and the equinox are not in alignment." Giles suggested.

Angel visibly paled and moved back from the gang, "She couldn't have." He whispered to himself, his mind wrestling with long buried memories.

"Angel?" Buffy asked, noticing him pale.

He looked and realized he was currently the center of attention. He wasn't thrilled about it either.

He took a breath and vocalized his fears, "In 1888, Drusilla was obsessed with the idea of controlling the moon. She spent hours, days even, searching threw books and reading the stars for a way to bend reality to her twisted will. One day, she found something…"

"The Lunar Mirror." Giles muttered.

Angel looked surprised, "Not many have heard of it. Those that have long thought such an artifact to be a myth…but Dru claimed it was real."

"She has this mirror?" Xander asked alarmed.

"Last I heard, she knew where to find it, but it was impossible for her to access. Believe me, she tired for years. I thought she gave up…but if she did manage to get it…"

"Apocalypse right on schedule." Buffy added dryly.

…

Dawn sat grumpily next to Connor in Angel's office. "How come they always leave us with babysitting duty?" She asked as Katie moped in her lap.

Liam laughed as his brother made a funny face.

"Well, we can either feel pissed that they are seriously over-protective of us and don't want us getting hurt…or we can look at it as they trust our skills and abilities enough to keep their kids safe from potential harm in their absence." Connor assessed.

Dawn sat back and thought, "Hmm, I like the second choice better."

"I'm kinda leaning towards that one too, I mean I'm supernatural…I heal quickly, I'm nearly as strong and fast as Buffy and dad are…there is no reason to protect me."

Dawn agreed, "Yeah, I'm a Watcher-in-training. I know how to fight; and I'm totally able to perform some kick ass magicks." She stated proudly.

"Hey, don't tell Buffy that…she'll flip." Connor warned.

He knew if his dad and step-mom found out about the little training sessions the two had been having in secret, they'd both be grounded for a decade.

"As I see it, when they find out it will be because we saved their asses…and they really can't punish us for that now can they?" The young woman reasoned.

The young man shook his head, "You've got them there."

…

Angel held his foot firmly down on the accelerator, easing the old convertible into an even more illegal realm of the speed limit.

The black vehicle sped into the equally black night, the headlights the only source of light on the empty roads. Save for the car behind them, Angel's SUV which was currently piloted by Giles and filled to the brim with Scoobies, books and weapons.

"Uhh Angel? You do realized we'll all die if you crash, right?" Faith asked from the back seat, mildly afraid for her life as the GTX reached triple digits.

"I won't" Spike replied calmly, lighting up a cigarette.

"You will if I turn around and stake you for smoking in this car." Buffy threatened when she heard Spike's lighter, knowing Angel was extremely protective of his car.

"Hey no threatening to stake my boyfriend…only I can do that." Faith shot back, giving the bleach-blond vampire a wicked smile.

"Yeah Blondie, I'm a one slayer man now." He grinned back, flicking the lit but unsmoked cigarette out the window.

Buffy rolled her eyes.

Ever since those two talked about their relationship they had been all over one another. 'Boyfriend this, or girlfriends that, my vampire, my slayer' She averted her eyes from the two necking in the backseat and glanced at her overly quiet husband. Usually he'd have banned either of the two behind them from entering his car, especially together, but he hadn't said a word when they got in at Angel Investigations.

Angel himself didn't seem to notice the comments. His eyes stayed glued to the road in front of him…and to some things that weren't playing outside his eyes, but behind.

"Angel?" Buffy asked, leaning in and letting her hand rest on his arm.

He glanced at her briefly to acknowledge her, and then resumed his pensive demeanor.

"We'll find her." She reassured him, knowing he was kicking himself for not dealing with the insane vampiress long ago…perhaps kicking himself for making her that way to begin with.

"That's what I'm worried about." He muttered before falling silent again.

…

About twenty minutes later they entered the city.

Cleveland wasn't a small area, not nearly as big as L.A, but still the largest city in the state.

Both Angel and Spike had demonic ties with Drusilla, Angel having sired her and Spike having been sired by her, they shared a sort of vampiric bond with the madwoman. They hoped they could tap into the link and use it to locate her before the world literally went to hell.

They agreed to start on different sides of the city and 'feel' around for her. It wasn't a crack plan…but they didn't have much else to go on currently. Spike and Faith exited the car just within the city limits as the Scooby gang headed for the center of town and Angel and Buffy to the far end.

…

After an hour of fruitless patrolling, Angel began to doubt the plan would work.

"This isn't working." He huffed in frustration, kicking a small rock hard enough for it to sail clear across the street and knock over a garbage can.

"Look on the bright side, you just invented the sport of rock bowling." She tried to cheer him up.

"This isn't a game Buffy. Drusilla is out there somewhere, possibly with an artifact of considerable power…" He replied grumpily.

"Easy Giles" She countered, really getting worried about how tightly strung these circumstances were winding him.

"Sorry." He breathed out a moment later, both walking briskly in the cold night air and feeling the waste of time weighting heavy on their shoulders.

She slipped her hand into his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You're letting this eat you alive, Angel. It's not your fault."

"It is." He fired back, "I created her, she is my responsibility."

She stopped short and held his hand firmly, effectively halting him too. He turned to look down at her, her hazel green eyes probing into his chocolate brown.

"If a boy grows up to rob a bank, it is his mother's fault? No, it's not. All we can do is be the best we can be at any given moment. You, for better or worse, did what you thought was right at the time. Maybe you made Drusilla what she is, but you don't control her. What she does is up to her, it's on her shoulders, not yours." She reasoned.

Angel nodded, but she could see his mind wasn't fully with her on the subject.

Her husband may have come a long way from his constantly brooding days, but he wasn't %100 cured, he had relapses now and again.

Like right now.

He resumed walking, heading in the direction of the car.

She needed to jog to catch up with his determined and much longer strides.

As they passed by an old warehouse he suddenly stopped, whole body pausing as he worked his senses.

"She's here." He whispered, feeling the pull of the mad vampire on their link.

"Then let's stop in and say hi." She grinned, really wanting to kick the crazy woman's ass for mentally setting her husband back to Broodville.

…

They entered the building silently, both sets of eyes and senses scanning the area for signs of the undead.

As she neared, Buffy could feel the pull of demonic energy now too. That little tingle in her gut that told her something unfriendly was hidden in the shadows that needed staking. It was a different tingle than with Angel, he'd always registered different on her demon sensor, she could feel his soul. Whatever was roaming the shadows defiantly didn't possess a soul.

"I don't think they wanted company." Angel remarked, pulling a stake from his coat pocket.

"They?" Buffy asked, but needed no validation as a few dozen vampires materialized from the darkness. "Oh, that they." she gulped.

"Yeah, those ones." He agreed grimly, taking a battle stance.

They were good, but over two dozen vampires in a small space was pushing it.

"Sorry, was this a private party?" She taunted as the first ran at her. The fledgling was dust before he made it to her.

Angel looking peeved grabbed the next one tightly around the throat and held a stake to his chest. "You know who I am?" He growled out, demon face front and center.

The caught vampire's eyes widened, "Y-yes." It squeaked out, "Angelus."

At the name the other vampires in the room paused and looked at one another, whispers circulated, fear of what Angelus does to other vampires.

"And you know who that is behind me?" Angel demanded.

"Sl-slayer." The pitiful creature answered.

The vampires shifted again, looking more afraid. 'The Slayer and Angelus' the whispered intensified along with the fear.

Angel nodded, "So you know how this is going to end then?"

The straggling vampire gasped as he turned to dust.

The other vampires in the room scattered, scared out out of their wits at facing down the two most feared entities of the underworld.

Buffy raised her eyebrows, "Huh, being famous has its perks." She stated, pocketing her stake. She honestly thought that was going to be a bloodbath.

Angel wasn't listening to her though, his eyes were focused on the lone vampire in the room.

Buffy turned her gaze as a voice echoed through the large empty room.

"Shame on you daddy, I worked so hard at organizing my party...and you scared away all my guests." Drusilla pouted as she walked forwards.

"You should have known I'd disapprove." He scolded, taking a few steps towards her.

When she got within a few yards of him she staggered back, her face contorting in pain and confusion. "No, no you're not daddy, you're wrong all wrong! All warm and alive...not daddy...never daddy...only the Angel beast."

Ignoring her insane outburst he stepped forwards again, "Where is the mirror Dru?" he asked like a father soothing a child. "I know you have it."

"Daddy's gone...all swirled together...no way to pull apart." She whispered, sounded afraid and defeated. She moaned, her hands covering her head and she shook and pulled at her hair.

"Easy Dru, just give me the mirror..." He soothed again reaching for her.

"Monster!" She screeched, lashing out wildly at him.

He leaped back and cut to the defensive as the crazed vampire attacked.

Drusilla may be insane, but she was deadly good.

Buffy lunged forwards and joined the fight, defending her husband and trying to gain some offense.

"Nasty slayer!" Drusilla spat, "You steal them all from me! Daddy, my Spike...you make them wrong!" She pulled her closed fist in front of her lips and opened her palm, at the same time she blew the powder in her hand into the slayer's face.

Buffy gasped and fell back, the fine powder stinging her eyes and entering her lungs.

"Buffy!" Angel called, seeing his wife fall back and charging in to take her place with beating Dru.

The dark haired vampire danced away, toying with him.

An enraged Angel swept the mad vampiress legs from under her, sending her crashing to the ground in a wash of child-like giggles.

"Daddy's gotten slow…that awful thumping in your chest…it's made you soft." She purred as she rolled from Angel's assault.

Buffy recovered slightly and jumped in, going for the kill, but Dru saw her coming.

Popping to her feet, she glided past Buffy's swing and jumped into the air, cat-like graces spinning her over both heroes' heads and onto the upper balcony. "Run and catch, run and catch. Baa, says the lamb, baa from the blackberry patch." She sang.

Turning from the threat below, she ran towards the end of the balcony, and directly into Angel.

"Who's slow now." He quipped, sinking a stake into her chest.

Dru's eyes widened as she looked up into the face of her sire, the curves of her lips twisting into a pained grin. "Soft as warm butter." She whispered.

Before he could react, she lashed out, tripping him and ramming his head savagely against the metal bar. The attack scattered his senses and offset his balance, sending him careening over the railing and falling three stories to the cement floor below.

"Angel!" Buffy yelled, halting mid stride up the stairs as she watched helplessly as her lover fell from the balcony and landed hard on the equally hard floor. Had he been fully conscious, he could have controlled the fall and landed neatly on his feet, but he had been dazed and the landing was bad.

Drusilla grinned madly when she heard the snap of bones as Angel impacted. "All the king's horses and all the king's men…couldn't put the Angel-beast together again!" She sang as she ran in the opposite direction, knowing the slayer would choose saving her precious Angel over pursuing her.

The living vampire growled in pain as he rolled stiffly onto his back, his eyes fluttering unfocused as his bruised brain fought to understand what the hell just happened.

"Angel?" Buffy called, running over to the fallen man and grimacing at the odd angle of his left arm and right leg.

Dropping beside him, she ran her thumb along his cheek, calling his name again. "Don't move." She urged, afraid if his spine was damaged he could be paralyzed.

He grimaced as he tried to move his left arm, stabbing pain shooting up his nerves at the action.

"I said don't move." She repeated, placing her hand on him to prevent him from trying.

His eyes finally focused on her, "Buffy?" He asked confused, head still unclear.

"You're hurt; I need to check how badly, ok?" She coaxed, running her fingers over various part of his body to find, or hopefully not find, other injuries.

"Your leg is broken…I need to set it." She told him a few minutes later. She knew the sooner the bone was back in place, the sooner his healing could begin.

"What gave it away, the bone sticking out?" He gritted out sarcastically.

'_Well at least his sense of humor survived the fall_.' She thought with relief. If he was joking, he would be fine.

She gently as she could, she tore his pant leg around the break to get a better view of the injury.

"Wait." He whispered. He forced his eyes to focus on her, which was increasingly hard with the pain in his body and the throbbing in his head.

"The longer I wait, the worst it will be." She reasoned, worrying about the blood seeping from the tear in his skin.

"Shoulder." He groaned out.

Lifting his coat up, she realized his shoulder had been retched from the joint from the fall. "Put one hand…on top…one…behind…and push." He asked, having trouble forming a sentence over the pain.

"Ok, ready?" She asked, taking position. "On three."

He nodded and no sooner had he done so she said, "Three." while yanking the joint back into place.

He swallowed the scream, but wasn't able to suppress the growl of pain.

"Are you ok?" She asked, leaning down close and placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Knew…you were going…to do that." He panted out.

"I'm sorry." She apologized, knowing she still had to set his leg and was really not looking forward to it.

"One down…one to go." He stated grimly.

"Are you ready? Do you need a minute?" she asked, looking for a delay.

He shook his head, and then quickly decided against the action as the world spun.

"Just do it." He groaned out, wanting to get the pain over with so he could blissfully pass-out for a little while.

She prepared quickly by grabbing two pieces of the broken metal railing he had fallen through and tearing her sweater into strips for bandages and ties.

When she was ready, she as fast and gently as possible manipulated his leg back in place.

He wasn't completely able to swallow the scream this time, but he mercifully passed out.

Buffy bandaged the wound then braced the metal robs against his leg and wrapped the injury up, the makeshift split hopefully keeping the bone aligned until it could be set professionally in the medical ward.

While Angel was out cold, she called the gang and had them bring the SUV to transport him back to the office so Dr. Cassidy could fix him.

…

"Buffy?" Angel called, opening his eyes and seeing a pair of familiar grey ones looking back.

"Nope, try again." Dr. Cassidy replied, checking his pupil reactions with a flashlight.

Angel groaned and looked away, his eyes sensitive to the light.

"Where's Buffy?" He asked, not seeing or feeling her nearby.

"You didn't answer my question yet." She countered.

"Cass." He warned, not in the mood for games.

"Ok, ok, hold your horses. The gang is in Cleveland to track down some crazy super-bitch, Buffy had Xander rush you back here for a patch job. Far as I know, he went back already…so you might as well get some rest." She explained.

"I need to get back to Cleveland." He protested, sitting up and making to leave.

She pushed him back down, "Try that again and I'll have no problem with sedating you with enough drugs to send snoring until next week." The doctor threatened.

His face scrunched up in anger, but he also knew she wasn't bluffing. With a heavy sigh he leaned back, crossing his arms across his chest and glaring in defiance. His left arm being in a sling made crossing it difficult.

"In case you were wondering, your left arm isn't broken. The shoulder is sprained, bruised in more than a few placed too, but functional. However that doesn't mean you are good to go, that right leg is very much broken…you need to be off it for at least a week." She told him as he brooded.

"A week?" he snapped, "You're kidding right?" He asked, knowing he usually healed fast, within days.

"Well considering your tibia and fibula bones snapped and tore through your leg…a week seems pretty minuscule compared to the normal say…three to six months…and that's not including normal healing time from surgery and rehabilitation."

"Ok, ok. Point taken." He grumbled.

Dr. Cassidy studied him a moment, checked his bandages then left with the satisfaction of knowing he would stay in that bed…for a least a day or so.

…

Angel lounged in bed, already feeling bored out of his mind and worried as hell for his wife who was so far away and facing such heavy risks without him. He trusted Buffy's abilities to stop Drusilla and avert the coming apocalypse, she'd adverted plenty of disasters without him before…but he still worried. He liked being there, watching her back, making sure the odds stayed in her favor.

Being stuck in a hospital bed with a broken leg was just humiliating.

_'Had I not hesitated at the last second, I would have staked Dru in the heart and avoided this mess…but no…I had to go all weak and soft…miss the heart and give her plenty of time to clock me and throw me off a balcony…God I'm such an idiot sometimes.' _

The sound of crying fully captured his attention.

Looking up, he saw Dawn and Connor enter the medical ward, Katie and Liam expressing extreme unhappiness at being awake well past their bedtime.

"Dad, are you ok? When Cass said they brought you in…" Connor trailed, taken aback a bit at seeing Angel's leg in a full cast and elevated. It was throwing him seeing his usually 'invincible' father brought down to earth…literally.

"I'm fine…I've had far worse than a broken leg." He assured his eldest son.

Katie looked up when she heard Angel's voice and immediately held her arms out for her father. The nearly two year old girl hadn't been able to sleep without her parents nearby and seeing her daddy eased a lot of that tension.

Connor looked uncertain of whether to hand his sister over of not, his dad had a few IVs in his arm, not to mention a bunch of monitoring pads and a sling on his left arm.

"I'll take her." He confirmed, seeing his son eying the medical equipment.

With that said, Connor eagerly handed her over, only being able to handle so much crying in his ear for so long.

As soon as Katie was with her dad, she wrapped her arms around his neck and closed her eyes. He grinned and kissed her cheek as she fell asleep.

Liam reached his little chubby hands out for his dad too, "Dada" He spoke, sniffling on already cried tears.

"Little help?" Angel indicated to the sling on his left arm, Katie was currently occupying his right arm so he couldn't unbuckle it himself without moving her.

"I think the point of that is to stay on." His boy countered.

"My shoulder is sprained, not broken; I can still hold my kid." He persuaded.

Connor shrugged, "Ok, but you took it off if Cass asks." He replied as he unbuckled the sling and moved the IV lines off to the side.

Angel thanked him and Dawn walked forward and sat on Angel's bed, placing Liam next to Katie so Angel wouldn't have to reach with his injured arm.

"Thanks." The living vampire replied, holding his two youngest children against his chest as they settled down to sleep.

"It's late; you guys should go home and get some rest too." He said to the two young adults after a moment of watching his babies sleep.

"You sure?" Dawn asked, "We can sleep here if you need something…"

He shook his head, "No, trust me these beds suck. Get some rest, we might need your help tomorrow, you know, if the world is going to end or not…" He muttered dryly, really hating being out of the loop.

Connor fished threw the bag of Angel's clothes and pulled his phone from the coat pocket and placed it close to his hand on the bed.

"In case you need something, just call and I'll be here." He offered.

"Me too." Dawn chimed in, eager to help her brother-in-law/father figure.

"I will." Angel promised, although all three knew he'd try to do something alone first and more than likely hurt himself more before actually calling for said help.

After wishing each other goodnight, the two youths left and Angel returned his attention to the two children sleeping on his chest.

Watching them made him forget about the pounding pain in his leg, and it wasn't long before he joined them.

…

A few hours later:

Buffy popped into the Med-ward just as Willow promised she would. As much as Buffy hated teleporting, it sure had its uses.

Her eyes quickly found Angel, the only occupied bed in the room, and she hurried over.

She smiled when she saw Katie and Liam sleeping with him, although she had thought Dawn and Connor would have taken them for the night. On the other hand, if she knew her kids, they more than likely drove their aunt and brother to just enough insanity to think leaving two babies with someone who was immobile was a good idea. Of course she knew her husband well too, and figured the two offered to stay and he told them to go home and get some rest.

He was a sweetie, but sometimes rather short sighted.

She almost wanted to stick around and see how he handled needing to feed and change them with his leg chained to the ceiling.

She bent an placed a light kiss on each of her sleeping children's heads, not being able to resist kissing them goodnight.

When she leaned back up, Angel's eyes slid open and focused up on her.

"Hey." She whispered, not afraid of waking 'sleep-like-the-dead Katie but make-a-single-sound-and-your-doomed Liam.

"Hi." He whispered back, already feeling 100x better seeing his wife was ok.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, wincing at his leg.

"Much better now." He replied smoothly.

She grinned and leaned down to kiss his forehead.

He raised an eyebrow at her, "That the best you've got for me?"

She shook her head an leaned back down, this time meeting his lips in a little tongue war.

"Lips are working." She smirked.

"Not all that's working." He replied, extremely aware now of the catheter Cassidy must have inserted while he was out cold. _'Oh she's so getting her ass kicked...as soon as I have a leg to kick her with...'_

"Good, I have something to look forward to when I get back." She teased.

His smile fell, "You're still in Cleveland." He realized she had only teleported in to check on him, the world was still in peril.

"Only for one night...you know..unless the world ends." She frowned.

"I'm sorry." He groaned out, blaming himself.

"For what?' She asked, "getting hurt?"

"I had her Buffy, but I...I couldn't kill her. Had I staked her heart this would be over already...not to mention I wouldn't have gone for unexpected flying lessons."

"You can't be seriously thinking I'll blame you for that...you sired her...there's...stuff. Stuff I don't exactly understand, but I'm not mad at you." She assured, sitting on the bed and resting her hand reassuringly on his good shoulder.

He gave her a weak smile. "Sometimes I wish you would."

"Not happening." She stated, placing a kiss on his temple.

"I have to get back...we're working on sort of a time limit here." She said reluctantly after a few minutes of just sitting with him and watching the kids sleep. She wanted nothing more than to just crawl into bed with him and forget about the rest of the world for a few more hours...but she was a slayer, saving the world was her #1 priority.

"Be careful." He insisted, uncomfortable with her fighting Dru alone.

"I will, plus I have Spike and Faith...as long as they don't run off for a quickie mid-battle, we should be fine." She assured.

Angel rolled his eyes, but knew both Faith and Spike were rather formidable in battle.

"Get some rest, ok? I'm sure I'll have lots of battle induced sexual tension bottled up when I get back...I'll need you to help me relieve some of it." She teased with a sly smirk.

"Only some of it? You planning on releasing it with someone else?" He bounded back, a playful grin on his lips.

"I dunno, I guess I'll just have to see how much of it you can handle when I get back." She promised with a seductive tone.

"I think I created a monster." He chuckled quietly, not wanting to disturb the two sleeping on his chest.

"No, you didn't create it...just added a little miracle grow." She insisted, devouring his lips as well as she could with the obstacle of two children in between them.

When Liam shifted in sleep they both froze, but as the just over a year old settled without waking, they let out a collective breath.

Realizing she really had to get back to finding Drusilla, Buffy leaned down as placed a chase kiss on her husband's lips, "I love you."

"I love you." He repeated back, really wanting to go back with her.

"Tell them mommy loves them." She indicated to her babies, hating not being with them.

"They know." He smiled.

She gave him a little wave and pressed the button on the responder Willow gave her. A second later, she vanished from the room, leaving Angel alone with their kids.

…

Spike led the search teams until sunrise when he had to retreat inside.

After, Buffy and Faith went out for recon. Although neither could specifically narrow on Drusilla specifically, they could still detect vampires...and she was one.

Despite searching extensively the entire morning and afternoon, they found nothing.

"We're missing something" Buffy sighed out, both tired and frustrated. "I'm heading back to the warehouse, there has to be something there...some lead we overlooked."

Xander abruptly stood from the chair he had been slouching in, "I'll come with." He suggested, eager for anything besides reading and going for snacks.

"No" Buffy declined, "I need you, Will and Giles to keep researching...Drusilla must be near the Hellmouth, and nightfall is in three hours. We're running out of time guys."

...

Ten minutes later she was pulling Angel's convertible up to the curb outside the old looming building.

Although she loathed driving, she silently thanked Angel for the numerous driving lessons. Nine times out of ten someone else would drive, but at least she knew how and could manage without incident. She honestly didn't think she'd have gotten her license without his help, and he certainly never would have allowed her to drive his car without one.

Entering the deserted building she felt a wave of unease wash over her. She felt a pulling at her heart, something was seriously wrong.

As she made her way to the back of the building, she found an office she'd missed earlier. Slowly she turned the knob and the door creaked open.

Her eyes widened as they fell upon the walls of the room. Every single space was filled with photos, sketches and clipping...of Angel.

"Oh my god." Buffy whispered, realized this had nothing to do with the Hellmouth at all...Drusilla had set a trap for Angel, _her_ Angel, the one currently miles away, injured and alone.

…

Buffy ran full tilt down the upper hallway of Angel Investigations Inc., bursting through the doors or her and Angel's office and skidded to a halt at the sight assaulting her eyes.

Images of the long ago day she found Kendra slain replayed…except the death toll was three times higher this time…and far more personal.

She felt herself turn and vomit the content of her stomach, but the act didn't really register.

Seeing her children's bloody forms lying motionless and pale under the florescent lights stole most of her sanity an instant.

On auto pilot she went to them, cradling the limp bodies in her arms and hearing a broken sob escape her lips.

She wasn't sure how much time passed that way, seconds…hours? When she looked up her eyes landed on her Angel lying in the middle of the room, positioned like a sacrificial offering.

Placing her precious burdens down, she slowly made her way to the love of her life. Her hand covered her mouth to stifle the sob of misery when she saw the puncture wounds in his neck. Not one drop of blood marred his features, nor appeared anywhere around him. Drusilla had truly drained him of every last drop.

She knelt beside him, running her fingers along his far too pale and cold cheek. His dark eyes looked blankly up at the ceiling…nothing would spark the warmth again in them.

"I'm going to kill her." She vowed to her slain husband.

His dead eyes turned towards her, "Be careful Buffy. If you're not, she will kill you. I wouldn't have wanted that." His dead voice echoed in her mind.

"She didn't leave me any choice Angel, she murdered you…the kids…there is no forgiveness for that." She countered, madly talking to a corpse.

He nodded, "I know, let me do it."

"You can't, you're already dead." She reasoned back to the corpse.

She gathered her children's bodies and laid them with her husband's. She put one of his cold hands over each if them, leaving her family in an eternal hug.

She kissed his pale forehead and closed his staring eyes. Then kissed her dead children.

"I love you." She told them with tears in her eyes, then she walked out, not able to look back.

…

TBC


	36. Who Ordered the Apocalypse? Part 2

Buffy woke up screaming her husband's name.

The gang snapped to alert, Giles coming to his Slayer's aid.

"Buffy, are you alright? Did you have a prophetic dream?" He asked, concerned and mildly hungry for action.

She glanced around and paled. "We were played." she stated, standing from the chair she had fallen asleep in and grabbing her coat off the back.

"About what?" Xander asked startled.

"Drusilla has no intention of opening the Hellmouth." She explained, grabbing the car keys for both vehicles.

"But...what about the Lunar Mirror? The equinox? Apocalypse?" Willow questioned.

"It's a decoy, she wanted us out of the way." She said quickly, pounding on the door to the room Spike and Faith were 'sleeping' in.

"Whoa, what's going on Buff?" Xander demanded as Buffy handed Oz the keys to Angel's car and Giles the keys to their SUV.

"She set a trap for Angel!" She practically shouted, scared her dream was happening now...or already did.

"But he's not even here...oh..." Xander began, then suddenly realized they were all in Cleveland, leaving him injured and unprotected back home. "That would explain why we couldn't find her here in Cleveland...Crazy Vamp is at Angel Investigations stalking her sire."

"Will, send me back, right now." Buffy demanded, voice heavy with terror for her family.

"Ok, let just grab the ingredients." The Wicca supplied, as she worked to put together the teleportation spell.

"Everyone else, drive back." Buffy ordered as she paced, slayer energy flaring at a maximum. When they all stood watching her she expressed, "Now! That bitch is going to kill my family!" She snapped from fear.

They suddenly understood her reaction and began gathering their belongings.

"Are you sure Buffy?" Giles had to ask. Trusting his Slayer but knowing if this was a diversion the Hellmouth would be left unguarded.

"Yes, I'm sure." She urged. The image if her murdered children still fresh in her mind.

Giles nodded, "Perhaps it would be wise to have Faith and Spike remain here, just in case this is a diversion."

Buffy nodded quickly, half listen, half freaking, "Fine, but Drusilla isn't here, she's going after Angel."

"In that case, the poof's already dead...or soon will be." Spike chimed in, mildly intrigued by the idea or his sire taking a bite out of her sire.

If looks could kill, the glare Buffy sent Spike would have combusted him on the spot.

"Right, I'm going to check out the Hellmouth...it's safer." The vampire announced, needed space from the suddenly very 'Carrie' like look the slayer threw at him.

"Will!" Buffy expressed, aggravated why she wasn't at Angel Inc. already.

"I'm trying Buffy, but...I'm being blocked." The witched admitted, looking remorseful. "I can't get you in the building."

"Then get me as close as you can!" she snapped. Getting close to absolutely terrified.

"This is as good as I can do, I'm sorry." She apologized and the Slayer vanished.

Giles grabbed the keys to the GTX and tossed the SUV keys to Faith. "We're heading back now, guard the Hellmouth until tomorrow night as a precaution."

The dark haired slayer nodded and pocketed the keys. "Sure thing."

With that said, Giles drove Angel's beloved convertible back towards home in the fading light with Xander sitting shotgun and Willow and Oz camped in the back. Giles knew Angel would be highly appreciative that he hadn't lent his ride to Spike, that is if Angel was even alive.

As they sped down the road Willow pulled her phone from her pocket and dialed, after ten rings, Angel still didn't answer his cell.

Hanging up she tried another number, on the third ring Connor answered. "Hello?"

"Connor, listen to me." Willow explained what she knew.

Minutes later she was calling Dawn's phone as Connor raced to the office to find his father before the insane vampiress could.

...

Buffy swore when she materialized nearly a mile from the office.

"Damn it!" She yelled in frustration and flat out ran, saving the breath she would have used for the rest of her swear words for running.

...

Earlier that day:

Angel awoke late in the morning to little fingers poking at his face. His eyes, nose and mouth all probed as Katie expressed her boredom and desire for daddy to wake.

"And what did mommy teach you about sticking fingers in noses?" He mumbled as he woke.

"Yucky!" Katie expressed, making the kind a scrunched up face Buffy often made when encountering a particularly messy diaper.

"That's right." He encouraged, "So, no picking daddy's nose. It's not nice."

She giggled and at that moment Angel realized what Buffy had foreseen. He couldn't get out of bed and he had two small children in his care.

He could see Katie growing border by the second.

_'Oh crap.'_ he thought, looking around and not seeing anything baby related; no toys, no diapers, no finger foods.

_'Ah-ah!'_ He cheered in his head as he grabbed the remote for the small TV hanging from the ceiling. Clicking it on he found a cartoon station and held his breath that Katie would watch.

Her bright brown eyes focused on the screen and remained there, almost fascinated with it.

They only had one TV at home, and it was rarely on except for hockey games, the news, and the occasional movie.

For Katie watching cartoons was a treat and she happily settle to watch the cat chase the mouse all across the house.

Angel couldn't stop his gaze from wondering to the show too. '_Damn, this is for kids? It's so violent...a mouse just gave a cat a stick of dynamite...that can't be leaving a good impression on Katie._' Although without much else to chose from, he was stuck with it for now.

When Liam woke not long after, Angel took advantage of his free arms and grabbed his cell phone that Connor had left within reach. He eyed it a few minutes, then the clock. It was nearly 11am by now, so he wasn't too afraid of waking anyone...but he felt like calling for help was a weakness. He looked down at the kids again and realized after a whiff of some very undesirable diaper smell, he needed a hand...preferably one attached to a pair of functioning legs.

He dialed Dawn's number, figuring she was closest.

As soon as he hung up, Katie looked up at him and said, "Go potty?"

They had just started teaching Katie about using the potty and she latched right on to the independence idea of it. She was known for being ahead of her age bracket in just about everything, and her fiercely independent streak just inspired her to learn things faster.

"Uhh..." He gaped, looking for a means to get her to the potty...there was no telling a nearly two year old to hold it and telling her to just go in her diaper would just mess up the whole point of potty training.

Just then an answer to his prayers, Dr. Cassidy sauntered into the Med-Ward. "Well, well, what do we have here...the boss still in bed? I'll have to use chains for often." She teased, knowing nine times out of ten he fled the hospital part of the building long before she cleared him to go.

His eyes narrowed, glaring hatefully at the metal clasps attached to his cast which elevated his leg to help reduce swelling and fluid build up around the injury.

"Ha ha." he replied mirthlessly. "Katie needs to use the potty." He pointed out, indicating the squirming tot in his lap.

"Oh, well let's go take care of that." She replied, taking her from Angel.

"No, Daddy!" She cried, pointing out she wanted him to take her.

"I can't honey, daddy has an ouch, I need to stay here." He explained, by now she had a pretty good idea what the word 'ouch' meant.

"Go potty?" She asked looking at Cass.

"Yes, lets go do that." She replied, taking the little girl to the bathroom.

...

When they got back, Katie had an excited smile.

"Yay! Go potty!" She danced, jumping up and down on the bed as her father held her.

"That's my big girl." Angel grinned, kissing her cheek.

Liam smiled from his dad's lap, laughing because his sister was.

Angel turned his eyes from the kids and met Cassidy's grey orbs, "Can't stay like this Cass, I have obligations. I need to be able to move."

She grinned, "Hmm, I have an idea."

The glint in her smile made him worry.

...

When Dawn arrived twenty minutes later she encountered Angel rolling crooked down the hallway, Katie and Liam held in his lap with one arm as the other tried to operate a wheelchair rather poorly. His bound leg was stuck straight out and the scowl on his face betrayed the irritation of the situation with screaming clarity.

"Pretty sure you get further using two hands." Dawn commented to get his attention, biting back a grin at seeing him trying to wheel one sided.

"Well if this thing came standard with child safety seats I could be using two hands. Except it doesn't, and I'd rather not see one of my kids face-plant while I can't get up to help them" He grumbled, not mad at Dawn, just letting off steam in general about being broken and cripple.

She wordlessly walked up behind the chair and pushed him along towards the elevator. "So, where we going?" She asked as pushed the call button.

"Offices." He muttered. There was a nursery space between Buffy and Angel's office for when they had the kids at work with them. It had two cribs, a changing station, rocking chair, toys, etc...all the amenities of a normal nursery.

"Whoa, which one dropped the bomb." Dawn gasped, smelling a very unhappy diaper. "Unless...when did you last bathe?" She added in jest.

"Barrel of laughs today." He rolled his eyes.

Liam and Katie turned to look up at their aunt, both greeting her in their own way.

"Hey my little munchkins. Did you make daddy grumpy, or did he wake up that way?" She asked the tots.

Angel just shook his head. _'I wonder if I have any scotch hidden in my desk?'_ he wondered idly.

...

Angel and Dawn each took a tot, changing and feeding them. Once they were clean, fed and ready for mischief, they spent a few hours just interacting and playing with them.

Liam was constantly looking around for his mom, Angel knew he wanted Buffy._ 'Me too,_ _Buddy._' He thought, hoping his wife was ok and wondering how the search for Drusilla was coming along. He fumbled in his pocket for his cell to give them a call but discovered he must have left it in the Med-Ward.

He shrugged and figured no news was good news, if something important came up they couldn't reach him on the cell, they could just call the office phone.

As the day progressed, Dawn noticed Angel's agitation dissolving as he interacted with his children. It was hard to brood and worry with Katie smiling and laughing along with her little brother.

Neither of the adults noticed when the phone lines went down, or when an anti-magic barrier erected around the building and surrounding area.

Liam began yawning around 3pm, triggering Dawn to bring him into the nursery for a nap while Angel entertained Katie in his office.

Angel was just finishing reading his daughter a story when he felt a chill run up his spine, the only indication he'd had all day something was wrong.

"And they all got eaten...and unlived happily ever after." Drusilla finished as she waltzed into the room, looking like a cat ready to pounce.

His dark eyes widened, "Drusilla." He greeted coldly. The second he saw her, he realized this was her plan all along. The Hellmouth was a decoy, he was the duck. With a miserable thought he realized he really was a sitting duck while stuck in this damn wheelchair with a broken leg.

He instinctively wrapped an arm protectively around Katie, the other hand tightening on the book he held. It was just an ordinary book, hardcover, nothing new or special in any way...but it was all he had by means of a weapon.

"Is she why you don't play with me anymore Daddy? You have a new family now...you don't need your old one anymore?" She spat, looking hatefully at the toddler Angel was trying in vein to shield. The both knew Drusilla could smell Katie's scent, knew the scent was a mix of Angel and Buffy.

"What do you want Dru?" He asked her, both curious to what her agenda here was and to buy time.

To his surprise, she didn't say a word, no absurd comments about things no one else could see, no nonsense about the stars or whispers or music. No, none of that. Instead she screamed and charged him like a maddened bull, with much the same result.

Angel barley had time to curl around Katie to protect her as Drusilla rammed into him, toppling over the wheelchair. He had to roll across the floor to absorb the shock from the force of the blow. His mostly healed shoulder taking the brunt of the blow and re-injuring it.

Seeing stars from the sharp pain that laced threw his leg and shoulder, Angel managed to push a now screaming-from-fright Katie behind his desk for a rather meager but limited options available protection as he staggered to right himself and to face his attacker. Standing in a cast was difficult when the floor was spinning and you couldn't bend your knee.

Drusilla was on him before he made it that far.

His fists caught a few lucky shots, but his left shoulder was throbbing and he couldn't put weight on his right leg without a blindingly sharp pain rushing up his spine like a knife. As a bonus, he had no stake or weapon of any kind.

His daughter's cries fueled him to fight back as hard as he could. He was currently the only defense she had, and by god, he'd need to be cold and dead before he let Drusilla lay one finger on her.

Drusilla crumbled as he sent a powerful blow into her gut, as her knees buckled he jabbed his elbow into her nose, shattering it with a spray of blood.

The crazy vampriss raged out at her distorted nose, swiping Angel's legs from under him and sending him crashing to the ground.

They both took a second to gather themselves, backing up and rising to their feet.

Drusilla glared at him, enraged at Angelus's betrayal, but a smile quickly replaced the scowl as she remembered she'd get her daddy back soon enough. With that thought in mind, she attacked again. She knew knew Angelus's body intimately, knew how he moved and thought. She used that knowledge with deadly accuracy, targeting his weak zones and his injuries.

Angel saw her coming and braced for impact, blocking a punch and went to strike another, but Dru had the power of mobility on her side.

The dark haired vampire twisted out of the range of his blow, simultaneously pulling a handful of powder from a pouch on her hip. The same as she did with Buffy in the warehouse in Cleavland, she waiting until Angel was close, then blew the dust into his face.

Angel reared back, seeing her repeat the trick she did to Buffy yesterday. He purposefully exhaled to keep the fine dust from entering his lungs, but he couldn't stop it from suddenly blinded him as the powder impacted his eyes.

Taking advantage of his temporary blindness, she swung around him, wrapping on long slender but strong arm tightly around his neck from behind, effectively trapping him and strangling him if he moved.

"What do...you want...Dru?" He struggled out, his own hands tugging at her's to let some oxygen enter and exit his lungs.

"You." She cooed in his ear, licking his cheek for emphasis.

His gut turned at the thought of being with her again. He resisted but to no avail, she had his weakened shoulder twisted painfully behind his back.

"Never." he forced out, the gears in his head running furiously on how to get Katie away from his insane sired.

He was about to ram his good elbow into her gut, hopefully to dislodge her and get some leverage, but she didn't give his a chance.

Drusilla vamped, her cat-like yellow eyes tracing the sharp features of Angel's face. "I'll have you, we'll be a family again, I promise...my new baby daddy." she promised as she sunk her fangs into his throat.

He gasped, the pain blending with all the rest but the sensation of being fed upon, that was new. For the first time in his life, he actually felt afraid of a vampire, the realization that he had a beating heart meant he could be food.

The lightheadedness washed over him, she was taking too much, too fast for his muscles and brain to communicate properly.

When she'd drank her fill, she sliced a neat trail across her breast. "Drink for mummy." She coaxed, pushing Angel's mouth to the oozing wound.

His eyes were glazed from acute blood loss, his limp muscles and mind in no condition to resist.

The demon in him cried out for blood, so when she offered, he took it.

...

"My what pretty eyes you have my little lamb." Drusilla sang to the nearly two year old in her lap, the little girl with the very same eyes as her daddy. "I bet they'll taste like mulberries. My mummy liked mulberries..."

"Daddy!" Katie cried, feeling very afraid of the scary woman holding her and not seeing her father.

"Hush, don't wake our daddy, he needs his rest so he doesn't wake all cranky. Oh, I know, you can be my new Miss. Edith. The last one was very naughty, she didn't get to have cake ever again." The dark vampire spoke, petting Katie like a cat.

"Let her go." A voice call from behind her.

Turning Drusilla smiled, "Such a pretty green light, it shimmers and dances...like a flame, I like flames. They burn so painfully, can you hear the music as they scream?" She swayed, holding a crying Katie against her chest.

Dawn was at a loss for to to respond. '_Oh god, this is Drusilla isn't it? I thought she was in Cleveland!_' She thought quickly, having never actually seen the crazy vampiress in person nor had she received Willow's call, her phone was sitting on her nightstand where she forgot to grab it while rushing out to get to Angel Investigations at Angel's call.

"She's in you, the pixies in my head told me so." Drusilla sobered, looking over Dawn with hungry eyes. "The slayer...her blood sired you...blood and magicks...I feel it tingling in my toes. I want a taste, just a little one...I promise I'll not spoil my appetite for dinner." She dropped Katie on the loveseat in Angel's office as she passed, the little girl forgotten for now as she sailed on Dawn's magical high.

"Oh, umm...you don't want to eat me, trust me...I'm no good." Dawn retreated back, trying to think of a spell or move to get her and Katie out of this. '_Where the hell is Angel?_' She wondered, afraid something happened to her brother-in-law. She had heard a thump from down the hall and came to see if Angel maybe had fallen while trying to do something he shouldn't try doing with a broken leg. However what she had found was a stranger holding her freaked out niece. Right about know she was really cursing herself for not keeping a stake on her persons at all times.

"Just a wee snack is all." Dru said advancing.

"You asked for it." Dawn lashed out with a move Connor taught her, fully intending to kick the vampire in the face, maybe break a fang or two.

Except her leg was caught mid-blow and she was yanked forwards, the dark mad eyes of Drusilla staring right into hers.

_"Vozdukh, Priyevratis v Kulak!" _Dawn yelled, the spell Willow taught her to send a literal 'fist of air' hurling towards a target.

Nothing happened, Drusilla simply smiled.

"_Enemies, fly and fall... Circling arms raise a wall!_" She quickly switched tactics, trying to erect a force field to push the mad vampire away.

Again Dawn was struck dumb by the lack of response from the spells._ 'What?! These work! I know they work!_' She panicked.

"Like my necklace?" Drusilla asked, showing off a gaudy black pendent with a large red stone in the center. "It doesn't like magicks, make em run scared...like little lambs it does."

'_She's wearing anti-magic jewelry?_' She thought, making a weak attempt to grab the pendent and smash it, but Drusilla yanked her forwards and glared deeply into her blue eyes.

"Look into my eyes." The vampiress suggested as she swayed, her fingers gliding back and forth. "Look at me, Dawnie. Be in my eyes. Be in me._" _

Dawn felt her body lax under the effect of Drusilla's hypnosis, her wide blue eyes getting lost in those dark, depth-less orbs.

Sinking...falling...fading...

However the control worked both ways, Dru was so focused on Dawn, she hadn't see Connor sneaking in behind her.

"Back off she-bitch." Conner yelled as he body slammed into the crazed vampires head, knocking her down and freeing Dawn. In his haste, he was really wishing he'd grabbed a stake.

Dru flew back from the force of the blow, but rolled to her feet. "You hurt me." She growled, but then her face softened and she smiled, "Do it again?"

"With pleasure." Connor confirmed, stepping protectively in front of Dawn as she shook off the magic and went to grab her screaming niece from the couch.

As Connor fought with Drusilla, Dawn fled the room to grab Liam from his crib and get the kids someplace safe, someplace a vampire couldn't go. She hated retreating, leaving Connor to fight alone, but the kids were in greater danger. Connor could fight, he was supernatural and once known as 'The Destroyer'. Katie and Liam were babies, and Dawn knew if anything happened to them, neither Angel or Buffy would ever forgive her.

And neither would she.

So she ran for the stairs, heading down to the Slayer-in-training dorms, knowing the magic that protected a house from vampires without an invitation would work there too.

She really wished some seasoned slayers were currently on site, the newbies stationed here now would only be canon fodder to a vampire as old and powerful as Drusilla.

...

Connor found himself flung clear across the room, smashing into Angel's desk and shattering the old wooden table.

_'Oh crap, dad loved this desk...he's gonna kill me._' he thought briefly, looking around for a decent size piece to use as a stake.

As his eyes scanned the area frantically, that's when he spotted Angel.

"Dad?" He questioned, seeing his father's form lying motionless and pale, having been hidden from sight behind the now smashed desk.

He didn't have time to check if his father was alive or not before Drusilla grabbed him and yanked him up.

"It's not possible...but here you are...seven in all...daddy's a busy boy." She grinned madly, seeing things she couldn't possibly know.

"Shut up already!" Conner yelled and kicked out at her.

She shook off the blow, angry and wanting this fight to end so she could return to her regularly scheduled massacre.

"Have a nice flight." She grinned to him like a overly chipper flight attendant before throwing the boy across the room and threw the office door.

Connor sailed into the office lobby and rammed into the elevator, denting the metal and collapsing in a heap beside it.

"Such a pretty noise the bones make as they snap, makes me want to dance." She cooed out, swaying.

"Dance to this." Buffy fumed as she punched the mad vampire that just knocked her step-son out.

Drusilla spun away, holding a hand to her already swelling jaw.

"Such rage, it's rather pretty...how it boils and turns...like holy water on the skin." She rambled, sizing up the panting-from-running and enraged slayer as they walked around one another.

"Where's Angel?" Buffy gritted out, not immediately seeing him.

"Shh, he's sleeping." Dru scolded, a finger raised to her lips as she glanced towards the windows.

Buffy turned her head to look, her heart seizing in her chest as her dream replayed. Angel's corpse lying motionless, his too pale face, blank eyes staring sightlessly towards the ceiling. She didn't see Katie or Liam's bodies, but her son of the heart was bleeding a few feet away.

Before she could tear her eyes from Angel, Drusilla attacked, catching the slayer off guard.

"You took them from me! Took both my black knights! Made then shine of silver and gold...but I've taken one back...the other will follow. We'll be a family again, the stars told me so." Drusilla ranted as she rained blows down on Buffy, the maddened vampire unleashing her raw and bottled emotions in a swirl of deadly force.

Buffy shut her eyes, visions of her husband being drained by the demon, seeing the corpse from her dream assaulting her senses.

Drusilla grinned madly down at Buffy trapped beneath her, "He was sweet, my daddy, tasted like clover he did...and honey. Made my belly all full."

Buffy's eyes snapped open, pure slayer blazing in her. There was no witty comeback or play on words, Buffy saw red.

She lashed out, knocking the grinning vampire off of her and across the floor, fully planning to rip her apart piece by piece.

"Oh Dru honey, what have I taught you about playing with daddy's toys?"

Drusilla spun at the words, turning to see if it could be true. "Daddy?" She asked, voiced chocked full of longing.

Buffy froze, her hazel green eyes widened, hearing a cold tone on her husband's voice, a tone she remembered vividly from her High school junior years. _'Angelus' _she thought irrationally. She knew he couldn't be...but the paleness in his cheeks, the cold smirk, the predatory stance..._  
_

"Come here Dru." Angelus called, opening his arms for her.

He stood leaning/sitting against the back of the small loveseat, his demon eyes drinking her in.

"You've come back to me!" she cheered, slowly getting up and walking towards him like as if in a dream.

He grinned at her, a cold glint in his golden eyes.

"I've looked for so long, all alone I was. The stars won't shine anymore. They've lost their light. It's like someone blew a breath and the candles all went out. " She confessed quietly.

"Hush now." He said, enfolding her in him arms and holding her tight when she neared enough.

She looked up at him, madness shinning in her eyes. "Daddy, will you turn the lights back on? it's awfully dark and I can't see Ms. Edith anymore. I can't see anything...I bump into the walls...it stings it does. But now my black knight has come back, the stars will shine again, they'll twinkle red."

He looked down at her, he knew that madness was caused by him, by torturing an innocent young woman until her mind was forfeit. That he drove her crazy then set eternal life upon her, locking her away in a unending hell.

She was his greatest work of art.

He leaned down and captured her lips with his, plunging his tongue into her cool mouth and exploring, tasting.

She sighed against him, purposefully nicking her tongue on his fangs and giving herself to him freely.

Her daddy was back.

From the floor Buffy gasped, her heart cracking and splintering at the atrocity of her husband's actions.

"I will Dru, I will." He promised her as he broke the kiss and soothed her long dark hair with his right hand. "I can send you back to the light. Do you want to go back?" he asked, searching her mad eyes.

Her eyes widened, a flash of excitement settled in her dark sockets. "Oh, yes daddy, I want to see the light again. All the colors, the pretty, pretty colors. Shaded of red...so many shades of red. We'll be the whirlwind again, you and me and Spike...we'll rule the stars."

"You will." He promised her.

"Really?" She asked childlike in her tone, eyes the size of saucers like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Never could say no to you, Dru." Fangs curled back into deadly grin. He leaned forwards, those fangs under an inch from her lips. "Are you ready?"

She nodded a small smile tugging her lips, "Oh yes, Daddy."

Before he lost his will again, he quickly stuck the stake he held hidden into her heart.

Drusilla went ridged for a moment, and then a full smile brightened her face, "They're so bright." She whispered, seeing the lights he had promised her dancing across her eyes, and then her body crumpled to ashes.

His eyes squeezed tightly shut, a single tear dropped down his cheek. "Rest in peace Elisabeth Marie." He whispered, saying the name her mother gave to her instead of the one he created for her rebirth.

The stake dropped from his numb fingers, his leg throbbed horribly under the cast, the twin wounds in his neck burning, and his gut turned in violent spams.

His stomach recoiled at the blood Drusilla had forced down his throat, the dead lifeless blood of a vampire was no use for his body. He'd hoped at the time it would feed him, that the blood would heal him...but the minute it left his veins and entered her, it was tainted. It was poison to his system now, and his body was rejecting it with brutal force.

He spun, using the couch for support as he retched painfully. The indigestible blood made a grotesque reappearance as it splattered the once light blue carpet.

He righted, unconsciously wiping at his mouth with the back of his sleeve.

He felt like a boat suddenly, a small vessel lost in a storm. Tossing and turning as the angry water surged beneath him. A moment later, his demon shuttered in pain, loosing strength with the rest of his body. As his features shifted back to human, he thought he heard Buffy calling his name. However, before he could turn, the boat in his mind was bludgeoned with a monster wave, and the little vessel capsized.

...

Angel turned towards her, but the second her eyes met his, she knew he wasn't seeing at her. They were too glazed to be perceiving reality, and as a testament to her thoughts, a second later he crumpled like a puppet with its string cut.

"Angel!" she cried, rushing to him as he dropped, too far to break his fall.

With a tentative hand she reached for his neck, seeing the bite wound but needed confirmation if he was still alive or now re-undead.

What she felt under her fingers was by no means a reassuring beat. He had a pulse, if one could indeed call the weak and irregular thumps beneath her fingers a pulse. She felt his chest rise in fall with short, shallow breaths, his lungs drawing in no where near enough oxygen to keep a man of his build alive and well.

Before Buffy could even think about what to do, Cassidy ran into the room, closely followed by Dawn.

"Buffy!" Her sister cried in joy that she was alive as she nearly slammed into her. One of the slayers-in-training had mentioned they'd seen the eldest slayer tear threw the building at super sonic speed and Dawn had called the good doctor in to help with the wounded.

"Katie? Liam?" Buffy demanded, one eye searching the room, the other trained on her husband.

"Safe." Dawn emphasized to ease the fear induced pressure.

Buffy sighed in relief, however her relief was very short lived.

Cassidy barely had her finger to Angel's neck for three seconds before she dug into her medical bag and pulled out a long thick needle.

Buffy's eyes bulged in horror as Cass slammed the needle directly into Angel's heart like it was a a buzzer for a game show.

"What the hell are you doing!" She yelped as Cass removed the needle and felt Angel's pulse again.

"Well considering his heart was giving out, I'll say I'm saving his ass. Now if you don't mind, he needs to get to the Med-Ward before he's beyond help." She answered hurriedly.

Cassidy and Buffy rushed off with Angel's limp form propped up between them as Dawn helped a recently conscious Connor up and away from the elevator. As they rushed Angel to the Med-ward, Dawn forced Connor to sit a moment as she assessed him for a concussion.

...

Cassidy kicked the doors to the Med-Ward open as her and Buffy hauled a deathly pale Angel in and lifted him up onto the the exam table. She hooked up the oxygen and heart monitor just in time to be hit by an alarm.

"Shit." She cursed, rushing to grab the blood bags and IV needles.

"What happened?" Buffy panicked, a brick the size of Texas materializing in her gut.

"Cardiac arrest." Cassidy answered, torn between trying to resuscitate him or installing the IV.

The doctor knew trying to get Angel's heart beating again with so low blood volume left in his body was the equivalent to trying to start a car with no gas in it...not gunna happen. However, she also knew without any blood circulating to convey oxygen, brain death resulted in under 5 minutes.

"Quickly." She told Buffy, "Start chest compressions, keep what little blood he had moving." She ordered as she fixed the blood to the IV tubing.

Buffy gaped like a dead fish for a second, "Wh-what?" she stuttered, looking lost.

"Sure, take your time. It's not like he can get any deader." Cass snapped to goad Buffy into moving. Although she knew for a fact he could get 'deader'...he could very quickly fall into the 'not salvageable' category.

The blond woman's eyes widened and she jumped up on the table within a second, straddling his waist and positioning over his chest. Once in place, her mind blanked on her, flash-backing to one of the worst day of her life, the day she found her mother dead on their couch. She had tried to resuscitate her, and failed miserably.

"What if I break a rib?" She asked, looking nervous and uncertain and above all scared.

"Won't matter if his heart isn't beating." Cass countered as she inserted the needle into his arm.

Buffy began compressions, barely aware of her surroundings and only focusing on one thing; '_1,2,3,4,5...'_

"Compress the chest down at least two inches for thirty beats then give two breaths." The doctor instructed as she finished hooking up the first line and started another of fluids to help increase blood volume.

Buffy felt Angel's cool clammy skin beneath her hands, he was sheet white. That was all the motivation she needed.

"Dad!" Connor gasped when he and and Dawn made it to the Med-Ward. Seeing Buffy performing CPR on his father hit him like a truck. "Oh god, he's dead, she killed him." The young man whispered in shock, Dawn grabbing him and helping hold him up as his legs threatened to buckle.

Cassidy injected another smaller dose of adrenaline into the IV line, hoping the drug would help stimulate his heart again.

"Ok, blood is going in." she stated, checking everything over.

Four minutes after Angel's heart stopped, nothing had changed.

"Ok Angel, anytime you want to stop being dead will be great." The doctor mumbled in frustration.

Since the initial flat-line, the only indications showing on the monitor had come from Buffy's motions.

Buffy leaned down and blew another lungful of air into him. "Please, please." She begged his stubborn heart.

The monitor bleeped.

"Hold on." Cass halted the slayer, watching the weak flutter strengthen after a moment.

The body lying on the table suddenly inhaled, chest constricting and coughing as breath returned in shaky spasms.

"Angel?" Buffy asked, tears in her eyes as she leaned down over him.

Angel's eyes suddenly opened, but they weren't a warm chocolate brown, but demonic yellow and screaming hunger.

Buffy hadn't time to smile at her husband before he'd grabbed her and with a feral growl sank his fangs into her throat.

His demonic side reacted instinctively to the closeness of fresh, warm, human blood. Drusilla's vampire blood had poisoned it, weakened it...but Buffy's potent blood washed the tainted swill away. He gulped it down greedily, his body screaming for it, demanding replacement for what he lost.

"Son of a..." Cass yelped as she tried to pry Angel off of Buffy, cursing herself for forgetting his demon side had a tendency to bite first, ask questions later when his life was in the balance. '_Reminder, buy Angel a muzzle.'_

Grabbing a blood bag, she tried to wedged it into Angel's mouth as a lure away from the Slayer. She didn't know Slayer blood out tasted any blood a vampire would ever drink and a bag of ordinary human blood was like waving a a bone to a dog as he ate a steak. Under normal conditions, yeah, the dog would go for the bone...but while eating a prime piece of meat? No way in hell.

Buffy felt her instincts kicking in, before she could stop herself, her fist impacted Angel's jaw, hard.

The force broke the bite hold on Buffy and Cassidy shoved the bag between his sharp teeth as Buffy shoved him down to keep him from biting again.

Weak as he was, it wasn't hard to keep him pinned against the table. His demon side eagerly draining the bag of blood that appeared in his mouth.

When the bag was empty, he spit the plastic from his mouth and opened his eyes again. He glanced around drunkenly, as if gaining awareness for the first time.

Cass had grabbed a wad of gauze and taped it over Buffy's new puncture wounds. Over the same scar he always seemed to reopen on the right side base of her neck.

His golden eyes focused on his wife, still straddling his waist from when she'd been performing CPR.

"I'm sorry." he whispered, then his eyes shifted back to brown as he went slack.

"Angel!" She panicked when he went limp beneath her.

Cassidy quickly check him over, signalling to Buffy he was stable, just physically too exhausted to remain conscious.

Connor, who had been watching wide eyed from the corner slowly stepped forwards, still supported by Dawn. "Is he...?"

"He's alive." Cassidy assured the boy as Buffy slid off the table and sat in a nearby chair. Her mind filtered in the events of the past ten minutes and counteracted the rapid blood loss. He hadn't taken enough for her to need a transfusion, but enough for her to feel lightheaded and wobbly.

"Dawn, keep an eye on them a moment, Connor here needs some sutures and a shard of wood extracted from his shoulder." The doctor asked the young woman as she man handled a still dazed Connor towards the other room where the equipment was located.

Dawn nodded, standing next to Buffy and yanking her sister into a comforting hug.

Buffy held on tightly, her mind reeling still. '_He died_.' Popped into her head as a sob broke out. '_He DIED!_' repeated, louder, with more force. Her eyes focused on Angel from behind Dawn's back as she gripped her sister for support. Needing the reassurance he wasn't still dead, her hazel green orbs watched the spikes peak across the heart monitor and his chest rise and fall as he breathed steadily in and out.

"How are the kids?" she asked her sister, pushing her wanting to have a breakdown into the back of her mind, staying strong and saving it for later when they all left and she was alone with her husband.

"Jackie is watching them, I'll go get them?" Dawn answered, figuring her sister needed the comfort of her children at the moment.

Buffy nodded gave her a weak smile, "Please?"

"Back in a minute." The younger Summers replied as she went to retrieve the two little ones from the Slayer-in-Training who sometimes babysat while Buffy, Angel and the gang were busy at work.

When Dawn left, Buffy wandered over to stand by Angel's bedside. Her brow furrowed in confusion as a new bruise was visible on is jaw. She winced when she realized it was caused when her "slay" instincts kicked in from his bite, she'd punched him hard to stop him from feeding off her.

She leaned down, not worried in the slightest he'd attack again, and placed a light kiss over the bruise. "I'm sorry." She whispered to him, curbing her desire to just crawl into the bed with him and not let go for at least the next 12 hours.

Dawn re-entered the Med-Ward, this time with her arms full of two very unhappy babies.

"Little help?" She urged as Katie and Liam squirmed in her grip.

"Mommy!" They chorused together, each reaching out their little hands for her.

Buffy quickly relieved her sister of the two small burdens, both children's cries instantly ceasing when they saw their mother.

"My little monsters driving aunty Dawn crazy?" she gushed, kissing them both and holding them tight.

"Daddy sleeping?" Katie asked, looking over Buffy's shoulder at Angel lying in the bed behind them.

A sting tugged at Buffy's heart, "Yeah honey, daddy's sleeping." She gently lied, knowing the nearly two year old wouldn't understand the concept of being unconscious.

...

Thirty minutes after they left, Connor and Cass returned.

Connor's left shoulder was bandaged, his arm in a sling from a slight dislocation from impacting the metal elevator doors. A butterfly band-aid over his left eye was the only indication of a slight concussion. His body was stiff and his face pale and taunt from the events of the last hour.

"Are you ok?" Dawn asked, coming to stand next to him as he looked over at his father lying prone in the bed.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I'll be healed by tomorrow night." He brushed off, his eyes moving to Buffy sitting in the chair beside the bed, his siblings dozing in her arms as she watched over Angel.

"He'll be ok." Dawn soothed, rubbing Connor's back.

The young man nodded slowly, "Yeah." He said quietly, not yet over the shock of seeing his father's lifeless body.

"Go sit with him." She urged, seeing his blue eyes locked on his dad.

He didn't need much more convincing.

He sat in the chair beside Buffy, "Are you ok?" He asked, worried about his step-mom.

She shook her head, when Angel was injured, she was never ok.

He took his good arm and wrapped it around her shoulder.

She leaned against him, both of them taking comfort from the other.

...

Soon after the Scooby gang filled in, having just arrived from Cleveland.

The group mingled together, talking and putting together their individual pieces of the puzzle.

"Damn, I should have gotten here sooner, I could have helped dad fight that bitch." Connor chastised himself as he paced, feeling responsible for his father nearly dying.

"It's not your fault, besides, you got here in time to save me." Dawn tried to cheer him up.

"And what exactly did you think you were doing going up against Drusilla? I should ground you until your 30." Buffy scolded her sister.

"Fine, next time a crazy vampire is about to eat my niece I'll just stand by and watch." The younger Summered countered.

"She was going to what?" Buffy cried, grabbing Katie from Xander and holding her closer in horror.

"So, how did it feel to finally take out that wacko?" Xander asked, hoping talking about slaying Drusilla would cheer Buffy up.

"I didn't, Angel did." She replied, glancing at the still form on the bed behind her.

"So let me get this straight" Willow chimed in, "Drusilla drained Angel, then went after Katie. When Dawn interfered she discovered Drusilla was wearing a magic-absorbing necklace that nulled her spells..and was why I couldn't teleport you into the building" She side noted the last thought to Buffy, "Then Connor saved Dawn but got thrown headfirst into the elevator for his efforts. Buffy went all Slayer on the crazy vamp but Angel killed her by tricking her into thinking he was Angelus again?" She asked in summery.

They nodded.

"So one question." Xander added, "If Dru got Angel first, why didn't she just kill him?" he asked reasonably.

At Buffy and Connor's glare he emphasized, "Well if the crazy vampire's plan was to kill Angel all along...she did a pretty bad job considering all the work she put into misleading us to the Hellmouth..." He clarified, not wanting Angel to have died, but not understanding Drusilla's logic.

"That's because her goal wasn't to kill me, but sire me."

They all turned to see Angel had awakened and apparently been listening quietly for some time.

"Sire you?" Giles asked, interested how a living vampire could be re-sired.

Buffy handed Katie to Willow so she could sit with Angel.

The couple shared a brief kiss and Angel sat up and turned his attention to Giles to answer the question.

"She was lonely. Drusilla wanted to remake the old days, she thought turning me back into Angelus would make that happen." He supplied.

"Well it a good thing she screwed it up." Xander joked to lighten the mood.

"She didn't screw up, she did everything right." Angel said quietly.

Buffy looked over at him questionably, he obviously wasn't a full vampire, he was alive. Nor could he be Angelus, his soul and demon couldn't be divided again. "What do you mean?" she asked, worried.

He grinned slightly, amused at the absurdity of it. "When a vampire sires someone, blood loss isn't the cause of death."

Giles perked up again, you could practically see him taking Watcher notes in his head.

"The siring vampire takes enough to slow the heart, then feeds the victim their blood, which conveys the essence of the demon into the new host. The essence takes over the original blood supply as it still pumps, chemically altering the blood and in turn the body to be a suitable home for the gestating demon. The heart stops when the merger is complete, killing the human, forcing out the soul and imprinting the personality traits of the former person. All this happens within minutes. The fledgling vampire usually remains dormant as the body finishes changing...rising after nightfall or burial." The former vampire explained.

"Fascinating." Giles muttered, having found a piece of paper and pen at some point during Angel's explanation and was writing furiously.

"But that didn't happen with you." Dawn noted.

"No, it couldn't, not again anyways. Only because I already have a demon essence in me...and it wasn't very happy to have company." The living vampire replied.

"Oh, like when your demon fought Eyghon!" Willow chirped excitedly. She thought back to when Jenny was possessed and Angel took the demon into himself to destroy it. She consciously didn't mention the name Jenny with Giles standing beside her.

Angel nodded, "Exactly like that, just without the facial distortion."

"So what happened to it, the invading demon?" Xander asked.

"My demon destroyed it. Although after fighting it and Drusilla, it was too weak to heal me. I know it's still here, but I can't access it."

"So as I suspected, your demonic preternatural regeneration ceased, leaving your full human system inadequate to function with extreme hypovolemia, resulting in cardiac arrest." Cassidy stated as she adjusted Angel's IV lines.

"Yeah Cass, my demon power failed, I died from blood loss." Angel rephrased in simple english.

"But your demon will be back right?" Buffy asked, unconsciously fingering the gauze on her neck from his bite. Her friends tried not to notice.

"Yeah, the blood partly healed it, but as of right now, it's absent. It's weak and will need time to recover. Until then, I'll have to deal with it being dormant." Angel admitted, hating the weakness he felt without his vampiric abilities.

"So you're completely 100% human? No Grr factor?" Xander asked.

"Until it regenerates...yeah, I guess I am." Angel shrugged, then winced as his left shoulder twinged pain.

Buffy could see the exhaustion clearly written on her husband's face, and now knowing he didn't have a supernatural edge in healing made her worry. "Ok guys, it's getting past the kids bedtime. Xander, can you and Dawn grab the cribs from the nursery?"

"For what?" Angel asked her.

"We're staying here tonight." She met his suspicions, in a tone that clearly said, 'not arguing about this.'

"I'm fine to go home." he countered anyways.

"Access denied. Angel you're human right now, with a broken leg, sprained shoulder and I'll remind you if you forgot, just had a cardiac episode. You're sure as hell not leaving that bed." His doctor ordered from beside him.

Buffy nodded her agreement. "Cass is right, so help me I'll let her drug you to keep you here."

Angel crossed his arms over his chest and sulked like a kid being told to eat his vegetables.

While Angel brooded, Buffy thanked the gang for their help and hugged Willow for calling Connor.

The act very likely saving both Dawn and Katie's lives.

...

When the kids were settled for the night and she was finally alone with her husband, she crawled into the bed with him and wrapped her arms tightly around his chest. She needed the reassurance of his heart beating beneath her ear after feeling it absent.

His arms wrapped around her and they laid together for a while, just absorbing the comfort of one another.

...

TBC


	37. Who Ordered the Apocalypse? Part 3

Who Ordered the Apocalypse? Part 3

* * *

Angel had fallen asleep as the exhaustion caught up to him, and Buffy was dozing against him when her dream flashed threw her mind again. She knew instantly those horrible images would have actually resulted had she not gotten her vision when she did. She would have guarded the Hellmouth in vein until the following day, Connor wouldn't have known the vampriss was at AI, and Dawn wouldn't have been saved. Drusilla would have discovered her siring of Angel had failed and in her anger she would have killed her husband and children.

"Angel!" She cried as she snapped awake, burying herself in him as she sobbed out how quickly her life could have unraveled...at how fragile the balance could be between life and death. It scared her how something as minuscule as a phone call could make all the difference.

He abruptly awoke and tightened his hold on his panicking wife. "It's ok, I'm right here, shh Buffy, everything's ok." He soothed, kissing her head, rubbing her back and running his fingers threw her long blond hair.

After a moment she looked up at him, eyes shimmering with tears. "You left me." She accused quietly, unloading her horror at having to give him CPR as his heart stopped earlier in the day.

"Only for a second." He countered, holding her tighter.

"Five minutes." She mumbled back, "You had no pulse for five minutes."

"Oh." He replied, not actually having a memory of anything between killing Drusilla and waking up with the gang talking. "I'm sorry." he automatically apologized, knowing he must have scared her.

She buried her face into his neck as she usually did, except he flinched and pulled away, his hand covering over the unhealed punctures.

"Oh sorry, does it hurt?" She asked, wondering if touching the wounds caused him pain. At his wide-eyed expression she got worried again. "Angel?"

He looked over at her, forcing himself to lower his hand. "I'm fine." he said in a very unconvincing manor.

That was one personality quirk she could always count on about Angel; when he claims he's **not** fine...he's faking and just looking for a little female sympathy and/or attention. However, if he says he **is** fine...he's not.

"What's wrong?" She pried, knowing if she asked him directly he wouldn't lie and be less likely to dance around the subject.

"It's...well...I guess I'm not used to being at the bottom of the food chain. Until tonight, even though I'm alive, I really never though of myself as...edible." he admitted, looking sheepish.

"Used to being the predator, not the prey?" She summarized.

He nodded, "Yeah, pretty much. Really freaked me out."

"I really don't see you as the bottom of the food chain, Honey. As for being freaked...it's a very human reaction to something trying to eat you." She tried to make him feel better by smiling her last point.

A pensive look crossed his face, almost a brood. After a moment he looked at the already healed mark on her neck. "Is...that what it's like when I..." He was going to finish his sentence by saying 'when I bite you', but she cut him off.

"No." She emphasized, cuddling up close and running her fingers along his cheek. "It's nothing like that. When you take blood, it becomes part of you, it heals you. You're not just looking for an all-you-can-eat buffet like a vamp."

He looked back at her, boring into her eyes, searching for validation to her claims...and he found it.

He leaned forward slightly, resting his forehead against hers. "This is all my fault." He whispered.

"No, it's not." she frowned, really hating his full-brood streak and actually wishing for Mr. Lusty again. At least that version of her husband knew how to smile and relax...even if it did usually lead to something romantic.

"It is." He protested, leaning back. "I let Dru escape, and she almost killed our daughter as a result." He glanced over at the crib and felt another pang a guilt stab his heart. _'I'm a shitty father._' He thought, _'Can't even keep one girl safe..._my_ little girl._'

"You couldn't have known Angel, no one can see the future." Buffy tried to get him to see reason

"Unless you're a slayer with prophetic dreams, or an insane vampire with visions...or Cordelia." He countered.

She sighed, "Ok, so some can...not the point here."

Throwing out her argument she tried a different approach, she leaned forwards and captured his lips, her hands on either side of his face to keep him in place. If words weren't working, maybe her tongue could try another way to convince him he wasn't at fault.

He tensed and resisted, but that only lasted about two seconds before she breached his defenses like an ocean wave to a sandcastle's wall.

As her lips melted over his, she suddenly remembered the scene that played out in his office a few hours ago.

Of him kissing Drusilla.

She pulled back suddenly, momentarily forgetting she was drawing him out of the shell he was trying to hide in. "You kissed Drusilla." She muttered against him, "She tried to kill you, and you kissed her."

She pulled back and looked him straight in the eyes, "How could you?"

Without replying, he pulled her forward and recaptured her lips with his, instantly halting any more words from her as she melted against him, her anger dissolving as her body reacted to his warmth.

When he finally pulled away for them to breathe, she look up at him almost dazed.

"That was a kiss Buffy." he said running his fingers along her cheek.

"Mmm, yes it was." She replied almost drunkenly, her mind temporally forgetting she was mad at him.

"I didn't _kiss_ Drusilla." He defended.

As those words she remembered the anger.

"I was tasting her Buffy, the last thing I remembered was trying to get Katie away from her...when I couldn't hear her heartbeat in the room..." he trailed.

Buffy looked into his eyes, they betrayed only truth in them. "You needed to know if she...drank her." She supplied.

He nodded, "Yes, or anyone else. I knew I couldn't trust her to tell me."

"What would you have done if she had hurt someone?" She asked, leaning back against him.

"I don't know, but it wouldn't have been the quick and painless death she got." He answered.

Buffy felt relief wash over her, her lover wasn't kissing another woman. He was only protecting his family.

Her body already felt hot from his kisses, her lips already swelling from them.

At the thought of someone else putting their lips on his, she felt a surge of possession wash over her. That coupled with her need to feel him alive drove her lips back into his, crushing against him and pushing him down onto the bed as she climbed atop him.

He was surprised by the attack of passion, but despite being tired and worn, he kissed back with eagerness. He knew she needed this, that she needed reassurance he was still here, alive and with her.

And truth be told he needed it too. Her love eased his guilt, broke down his self-hating barriers, letting her light shine in and save him from a life of darkness and regret.

Besides, what man in his right mind would say no to his rapidly nakeding sexy young wife straddling his hips and wanting him desperately? Answer...sure as hell not him.

The sling on his arm vanished and seconds later each of his hands cupped a full breast, his thumbs and forefingers teasing the already stiffening peaks.

She moaned against his mouth, sending a bolt of desire threw his groin, which by now was very aware of the attention she was showing it as she rubbed against him.

'_Thank god Cass forgot the catheter this time._' he thought with relief._ '**That** would have been a major mood killer._'

He really wanted to roll her beneath him, give her the satisfaction of his weight atop her, surrounding her. But as it was, his leg had a cast which spanned over his knee and half way up his thigh, making bending his knee impossible and he knew being on top with one leg to support him was bound to be uncomfortable and awkward...and painful on the injured limb.

Buffy seemed to have no problem being atop him, especially since his right hand wandered into her golden curls and was exploring the wet folds.

She moaned his name as her first orgasm approached. His fingers doing a wonderful job at guiding her in the right direction.

He thought briefly about how pissed Cassidy would be when she found out they were having sex in the Med-Ward. Not to mention her anger than he'd essentially died from blood loss only hours earlier and he was now letting a good majority of that blood migrate to the lower part of his body, and getting his heart rate elevated in the process.

Those thoughts dissolved as Buffy pushed down his sweats and slid herself onto him, seating him to the root. He groaned out her name as her warmth surrounded him, filling her completely.

'_Heaven._' He thought briefly, finding every moment spent making love to his wife the epitome of perfection.

They moved together, briefly forgetting the cribs only feet away as they vocalized their passions to one another.

When Liam cried in protest, they didn't stop, couldn't by then, but continued as quietly as possible.

...

It certainly wasn't a marathon night, Angel's body was eager but ill prepared for such strenuous activity, especially minus his demon stamina.

They released together, Angel's heart hammering in his chest, feeling like he'd gone ten rounds instead of one.

When Buffy collapsed down against his chest, a look of concern flashed in her eyes. "Are you ok?" She asked, mildly afraid at his rapid breaths.

"Never realized...how much I relied...on my demon side...for that." he admitted, feeling guilty for wearing out so fast.

"As I recall, you were well above average even without." She grinned, remembering the day that wasn't, when he was human and they'd spent a majority of the day in his bedroom. Even without a demon, he was an amazing lover.

He smirked, "I wasn't in the hospital...at the time." Pain and exhaustion stealing a majority of his stamina this time.

Her smiled faded and she realized how foolish she had been coaxing him into having sex so soon after heart trauma.

"Oh god, we shouldn't have..." She blushed, feeling horrible.

He pulled her lips down to his and kissed her fears away.

When he released he lips he grinned, "No, we probably shouldn't have...but I'm gad we did." They both needed love, the comfort it provided their souls overpowering the irrational timing.

His heart rate and breathing were settling back down now, and with it his eyes were really feeling the tiredness seeping over him.

"Are you passing out on me?" she teased, noticing him falling asleep.

"Very likely." He mumbled, snuggling closer.

She settled down against him, equally ready to get some sleep after such a long and sleepless few days.

"I love you." She whispered against his chest, his heart rate already slowing as his body relaxed.

He drowsily hugged her tighter and pressed a kiss her to crown, too far gone to reply with words.

She smiled and let sleep take her too.

...

Buffy shivered slightly and rolled over to snuggle with her husband, except he wasn't there.

Feeling the empty bed hospital she sat up with a pang of worry and confusion and looked around. "Angel?" she called quietly, wondering if nature called him away or if something was wrong.

'_What if he was never here?'_ The thought entered her brain. '_What if you dreamed the whole thing? What if he died yesterday and they sedated you because you broke down?'_

She shook her head, pushing the ideas way. _'No, it was real...wasn't it?'_ She found herself asking.

But what really threw her, was she couldn't feel him.

"Angel?" She called again, slipping her pants, shoes and shirt back on.

She glanced down at the two sleeping tots in the cribs beside the bed, Katie out like a light and Liam gently suckling him thumb.

'_They wouldn't have them them here with me if I were crazy.'_ She decided.

"Where did you go?" She asked her absent husband quietly to herself, her gut clenching at why she couldn't feel him.

She briefly looked around the large room and found no sign of him.

She was thinking about panicking when a thought entered her mind as her stomach rumbled it was very empty.

Glancing at the cribs she figured the sleeping tots would be fine for a few minutes as she searched upstairs in the cafeteria.

'_If there is one thing with enough power to drive a tired and wounded Angel out of bed with me besides the kids crying...it's food._' She thought as she pushed the elevator call button.

Her heart eased a bit when she saw some of the lights were on in the cafe. Someone was inside...but the right someone?

When she passed the tables and chairs in the large sitting area, she slowly pushed open the back doors to the kitchen and peered inside.

She let out a breath of relief when she spotted her husband as he fished in the refrigerator.

As quietly as she could, she sneaked up behind him, fully aware he could sense her but still liking the challenge of trying.

"You ditched me for a sandwich?" she joked, figuring he'd laugh.

Instead he nearly jumped out of his sweatpants, dropping a bottle of mustard and a water bottle.

He whipped around, his hand shot to his heart. "Jesus Buffy, you scared the hell out of me."

Her smile dropped at his reaction. "Oh god, are you ok?" She asked at seeing his hand over his heart.

"I'll live." He muttered, giving his heart a minute to ease out of his throat and back into his chest.

"I'm sorry, I figured you knew I was here." She apologized as she wrapped her arms around his waist. _'He always senses me.'_

He leaned over and kiss her crown, "I normally would have...but my demon side is dormant...I can't even see in the dark." he admitted.

"Oh, right." She remembering, realized that was probably the reason why she couldn't feel him from downstairs. When he was this close, she could sense his soul as she always could, but without his demon side the range was highly muted.

She bent and picked up the items, grabbing another water then shutting the fridge.

He limped to the counter, "Sandwich?" He offered the meal he'd just finished making.

She smiled at him. _'A man that will offer me his food when he's obviously starving...that's a keeper.'_

She cut it in half and they shared it as they made a few more to take with them back downstairs before the kids woke.

They put the small pile of sandwiches into a to-go tray and headed back.

Half-way down the hall Angel slipped, Buffy grabbed his arm to steady him before he could fall.

"Stupid cast doesn't have very good traction." He muttered as he leaned against Buffy for support.

"That's because it's not designed to be walked on." She countered, mildly mad he ventured off alone instead of asking her to get him dinner.

"You were asleep, I didn't want to wake you." He countered back as if reading her mind. "Besides, nature called, I figured since I was up..."

"You'd risk getting hurt further and lengthen you're recovery time." She stated blandly.

He knew he was going to lose that fight. "Ok, ok, I should have asked for help. I'm sorry. I'm an idiot...am I forgiven?" He finished with a classic grin.

"We'll see." she smirked.

'_God I hate when she says that._' He thought, knowing it usually meant doing something he didn't want to do.

...

Thankfully the two babies were still sleeping soundly when they got back to the bed.

After inhaling the sandwiches, they settled back down. Angel practically snoring as soon as he'd finished eating.

She smiled down at him, deciding to sleep on top of him to discourage him sneaking off again, and as a bonus he was much more comfy than the narrow and lumpy hospital bed.

He didn't seem to mind.

She also frowned as she watched him sleep, just looking into his face she'd known walking on his cast had hurt him more than it should have. Sometimes she really wished he wasn't so god damn stubborn. Especially when his health was concerned.

She finally fell asleep to the steady thump, thump, thump beneath her ear.

...

The following morning she awoke with him right where she left him, which was a welcome relief.

She smiled and placed a light kiss on her sleeping husband's temple.

He obviously was the same man she'd spent the last three years of her life with, but different too.

Last night she realized how much his demonic growls really turned her on, without them it was still pleasant...but the feeling something was missing from him was extremely apparent.

Unable to help but watch him a moment, she realized his purely human condition was sending her mind back to the day that never happened. The day he snuck out of bed and nearly got himself torn apart by a mohra demon for being a stubborn idiot.

Remembering that, she vowed to herself that he wasn't allowed to leave her sight until his powers returned. There would be no repeat performances of that day, or yesterday.

Not long after, she drifted back to sleep.

...

At seven in the morning, Cassidy slipped into the Med-Ward like always. She didn't mind the long hours, her body was well balanced between being an early bird and a night owl.

Glancing at the only occupied bed in the ward, she grinned to herself. _'Seems Buffy works just as good as chains to keep the boss in bed.'_

Figuring she'd let the couple sleep, she wandered into her office to catch up on some back paperwork.

...

When Buffy woke again, Angel was running his fingers down her back.

"Morning sleepyhead." He grinned, kissing her forehead as she sat up.

"Morning." She yawned back, kissing him good morning.

"How long have you been awake?" She asked, stretching and looking over at the two still sleeping kids.

"Not long." He told her with a charming smirk, which was a blatant lie. He leg was killing him and the pain roused him over an hour ago. He was kind of hoping if he purposely lied with a smile on his face, she would think he was joking.

She wasn't buy it. "Your leg hurts doesn't it?" She asked, zeroing right in on his discomfort.

"A little." He tried to downplay the throbbing pain screaming up and down his leg.

She frowned and sat up, reading the discomfort in his eyes like huge flashing sign. "You shouldn't be in that much pain, I'm getting Cass to take a look."

She moved off towards the doctor's office before he could protest.

_'Damn._' He pouted, knowing Cassidy would flip when Buffy told her about the previous night's midnight stroll. Not to mention being slightly miffed how well Buffy could see threw his words. At the same time, he actually found it a little arousing, not that the pain in his leg let the thought travel very far.

A few minutes later, a very scowly Cass stood beside him. "Walking to the cafe? Are you mentally deficient in some way?" The irate MD exaggerated to him in slow bold words, "You. Have. A. Broken. Leg!"

Angel shrunk back a little, a scowl of his own firmly in place. "I'm fine." He mumbled, feeling like a kid caught breaking a vase while playing inside.

"You're not fine." Buffy countered, seeing it in his eyes.

Cass shook her head and grabbed something from her pocket as she walked to the foot of the bed.

The cast was open on the bottom to allow access to the toes, while Angel was arguing with Buffy about how he felt, Cass poked a dull pointed dental pick into his big toe, figuring he'd automatically pull his leg back from the pinch of pain.

He didn't even notice.

'_Not good._' Cass thought, pinching his toe harder to gauge a response from him to no avail.

"You can't feel this?" Cassidy interjected between the bickering couple.

The both turned to look at her.

"Feel what?" Angel asked, just now noticing Cass doing something to his toe.

"Can you move your leg?" She asked, watching him carefully.

"Of course I can." he retorted, knowing full well he walked to the cafe and back last night.

"Well?" Cass insisted, waiting for him to do so.

He cringed, knowing it was going to hurt like hell.

Cass watch him move his leg, and saw the pain washing out his features.

"Move your toes." she asked a second later.

After he didn't comply she told him again.

"I did." he replied back, then suddenly realized if she was asking again, that meant they hadn't responded.

Buffy's eyes widened, "Cass?" She asked, wanting to know what the doctor was thinking.

"I suspect you could have re-broken the leg...either from walking on it way before you should have or from fighting with Drusilla. It could also be compartment syndrome, characterized by severe swelling which causes restricted blood flow to the leg. That leads to loss of muscle strength, numbness and increased pain. I'll need an x-ray to confirm, which I'm doing right now." Cass turned to grab the portable x-ray machine.

Angel sighed, not enjoying his morning so far. "Great, that just means I'll be stuck in bed longer."

Buffy shook her head, "You did it to yourself, unless fighting caused it, then that wouldn't be on you...but you should have spoke up sooner, told Cass."

"I'm not used to being this weak." He muttered, feeling lost without his powers.

"You're not weak." Buffy assured, kissing his cheek. She was worried about him, about how this injury could lead to him being crippled for life. "You're human...and just too damn stubborn for your own good."

He rolled his eyes, "Duly noted."

When Cass came back, Buffy took the just waking kids upstairs to the nursery to change and then down to the cafe for breakfast. Whether or not it was scientifically reasonable, neither Buffy or Angel wanted their babies anywhere near the x-ray equipment.

...

Half an hour later Cass was examining the x-rays, shaking her head in frustration as she did.

Connor slipped quietly into her office as she looked them over.

"Bad?" He asked, having just talked to his dad and finding out what was going on.

"Not good." She replied, pointing to a thin line he could barely see. "His tibia bone did indeed shift out of alignment. When I set the leg, I forwent surgery and set it with the cast knowing his healing would mend the break in a few days. However, now he's healing at a human pace, which means the cast isn't enough. I need to re-set the break with plates and pins."

"He needs surgery." Connor repeated downcast.

"Yeah, if he wants the bone to mend properly and avoid walking with pain and a limp for the rest of his life." She agreed.

"When?" The young man asked, worried about his father having surgery.

"As soon as I can." She stressed.

...

An hour later, Xander was watching the kids as Buffy and Connor sat with Angel while Cass prepped him for surgery.

Tension was high in the room, Buffy and Connor both worried and Angel doing his best to not show the blatant panic on his face. He'd never had surgery, had bullets removed and bones set, but not official anesthesia-then-under-the knife surgery.

The thought made him nervous as all hell. '_I shouldn't need this, I should be healed and home by now._' He thought frustrated with his own humanity.

Likewise, Buffy's mind was whirling over this too.

Since the day she met Angel, he'd always been a pillar of strength and power. He seemed invincible in her eyes when she was younger, immortal and nearly unkillable by all who tried. She was chronically aware of her husband's mortality by now, he wasn't exactly known as Mr. Stay Safe, but he'd always had his healing. Injuries never lasted long with him, within days he'd be fully recovered and her anxiety would be for nothing. Except now he didn't have his healing, and depending on how soon his demon side re-manifested, he could be bedridden for months.

Truthfully, she wasn't used to seeing Angel vulnerable, and the thought scared her.

Connor paced, feeling the nervous tension practicality flooding the room from his dad and step-mom. He rode the wave of disquiet on a precariously thin surfboard. If he wasn't in control and careful, he'd tumble off and drown in the sea of foreboding.

He didn't think breaking down would help the situation much, or his parents.

At last, Cass came in to remove the cast.

Angel requested rather stubbornly he stay awake until the actual surgery began, he wasn't looking forward to being put under sedation.

Buffy held Angel's hand reassuringly as Cassidy went to work removing the plaster cast she so recently installed with a vibrating cast saw.

The redhead felt three sets of eyes watching her every move, all three expecting the saw to suddenly slice into the skin and cause a fountain of blood to gush from the wound.

"It's a cast saw, uses vibrations to cut, not a spinning blade. It only works against a hard surface, skin won't be cut." she assured, quickly demonstrating on her hand. "See, no problem."

The three relaxed a bit, but the tension was still high.

It took Cass nearly fifteen minutes to cut the entire cast length along the seams and then underlying cotton protector. When she was done she used a special prying tool to loosen the two separated sides and pry them open.

Angel visibly paled from pain as the cast shifted the misaligned bones.

"I can still sedate you for this." Cassidy told him, noticing his discomfort.

With a clenched jaw he shook his head no.

Shaking her own head at his stubbornness, she worked quickly and as gently as she could, finally prying the top half off to reveal the ugly wound beneath.

Angel quickly looked away, nauseated by the swollen and angry red wound.

"Oh." Cass whispered, her MD eye picking up on a lot of bad signs. Not noticeable, the rampant infection.

"What?" Buffy asked, seeing the crestfallen look the doctor gave at the sight of the injury.

"Well, before I can realign the bones, I need to disinfect the area. At the time, infection wasn't an issue with demon healing, however not the case now." She clarified as she went to grab a pile of antibiotics. This worried her, he shouldn't have _that_ bad on an infection in such a short time.

Connor sat beside Angel, telling him about the hockey game that aired the night before to help keep his mind off the pain.

When Cass had the items she needed, she quickly whispered something in Buffy's ear while Angel's gaze was towards his son.

She nodded, hating betraying her husband, but knowing it was for his own good.

She could tell he was trying to focus on Connor's well detailed play of the game, but was in too much pain to really absorb any of it. She sent Connor a quick 'I-need-his-attention-over-here glance then slipped a finger under his chin to turn Angel's head towards her. "I love you." She said to him, pressing her lips to his in a very distracting manner.

He was a bit surprised at the sudden attention, but easily let himself be distracted. He never did pass up kissing his wife.

"I'm sorry." She apologized as she pulled back, running her finger down his cheek and sending him numerous apologetic glances.

He looked confused a moment then realized what was going on. He turned and saw Cass just pulling a syringe from his IV line.

Cass had used Buffy to divert his attention so she could drug him much against his will to be sedated.

"Traitors." he accused, but without feeling anger or betrayal. He knew they were only doing what they thought was right, and as much as he wanted to deny it, he was grateful. He could use a break form blinding agony for a while.

It only took moments for the strong drug to circulate throughout his system, his eyes growing heavier by the second.

"Love you." He whispered tiredly as Buffy kissed his cheek.

"I'll be right here when you wake up." She soothed as he tried to fight to stay awake.

Cass placed a mask over his nose and mouth to ensure a steady flow of oxygen and anesthetic gases thought out the procedure.

Angel gave a weak attempt to resist, but lost as his body relaxed.

Buffy smiled at him, watching as his eyes lost focus and slipped shut.

Angel's last thought was now wonderful it was to be pain free as he vacationed in the blissful land of unconsciousness for the next 4 hours.

...

Buffy and Connor waited impatiently as Cassidy worked to clean, repair and set the broken bone. They were in the OR with her, all scrubbed and masked to prevent infection and bacteria from spreading.

Neither had any real medical knowledge, but Cass had them watching the monitors and helping pass her tools as she worked.

The doctor looked up as the oxygen sensor alarmed, indicating Angel's breathing was too shallow to deliver adequate oxygen to his lungs.

While Buffy and Connor looked panic stricken, Cassidy calmly removed his oxygen mask and quickly intubated him.

The two inexperienced with medicine watched with a matching cringe as Cass grabbed a long dull bladed metal tool and slid the tapered end into Angel's mouth to hold down the tongue and open the airway. She quickly followed it with a nickel wide plastic tube, guiding it into his throat and into his trachea.

After securing it in place with tape, she removed the oxygen and anesthetic tube from the face mask and attached it to the new internal tube.

Within a few seconds, the alarm died down as Angel breathed more regularly.

"What is that?" Connor asked, having never seen an instrument like the metal blade she just used.

"It's called a larygoscope, it secures and moves the tongue to get a clear view of the glottis." At his boggled look she simplified, "To see the entrance of the vocal cords, the windpipe, so I can direct the endotracheal tube to the proper location. It can't be used to assist breathing if it's not in the right place." She replied, getting back to setting Angel's leg.

"He can't breathe on his own?" Buffy asked, looking nervous.

"It's a side effect of anesthesia, breathing problem are common from the muscles relaxing. The tube will eliminate the risks. I should have done it earlier as a precaution." She told them as she installed the hardware to hold the broken bones together.

They nodded in understanding and the next two hours went by uneventfully as they watched and helped Cass operate.

...

After 4 hours of surgery, Cass removed the breathing tube and administered the drug to wake Angel up.

Buffy sat diligently by her husband's bedside as she awaited the drugs to rouse him. Eager to see him on this side of conscious and aware again.

Twenty minutes later, Angel's eyes fluttered open.

"Angel?" Buffy asked, leaning forwards. She ran her fingers along his jaw to get his attention.

He stared up at the ceiling, a grin spreading across his face. "Lookit all the wee holes." He giggled out, a slip of Irish accent in his voice.

Buffy raised an eyebrow, "Uhh..." She gaped, looking up at the very plain drop tiled ceiling and seeing nothing. '_Is he stoned?_' she wondered.

Cassidy wandered up when she noticed Angel awaken. "Hey boss, how many fingers?" She asked, holding up three.

He grinned wider. "You're pretty." He flirted, looking at her grey eyes and mid-length red hair.

Buffy looked lethal at her.

"Ok, you have _way_ to much pain meds. I'm just going to lower those." Cass realized and went to adjust his IV drip to a much lower dose. She sent Buffy a quick, '_sorry_' and disappeared to her office before she got staked.

"Angel?" Buffy asked again, sitting in his line of sight as he watched Cass leave.

His eyes focused on her, looking more interested. "Hello beautiful." He smirked.

She smiled back at him, "Hello yourself." She leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"I could get used to that." He joked, liking the feeling.

"You should be already." She teased back.

"Why?" he asked. "Do I know you?"

Her smiled dissolved. "What? You...you don't remember me?" She questioned, a lump forming in her gut. "You're kidding with me right? Messing with my head, because I really don't appreciate it Angel."

He shook his head, "I don't...what happened...where am I?" Angel mumbled, looking around in confusion. Suddenly he jerked away from her, eyes wide without focusing and taking a defensive position.

"Hey it's ok. You're safe." She tried to calm him, but he backed away towards the edge of the bed.

"What's going on?" He asked, his mind blanking on him. The high from the pain meds receding and back filling with anxiety.

Despite his resistance, she grabbed his arm to keep him from backing off the bed and re-injuring himself if he fell. "Angel, relax. You had surgery to fix your leg. Cass said the anesthesia could fog your mind a little, cause temporary memory loss, maybe aggression."

"Cass? Surgery?" He questioned, looking around for anything familiar. "Who are you?"

"Buffy, your wife." She stated, sitting closer, pleading with her eyes he remembered her. "Can't you remember?" She asked, almost begging.

"I...I don't know. It's...fuzzy." He admitted, looking lost.

Running on instincts, she leaned forwards and brushed her lips against his, hoping it would jog his memory.

He backed away, but only for a second. His lips recognized the sensation of her lips. His head might not know her, but his heart certainly did.

He leaned into the kiss, his hand sliding up her neck to cup the back of her head and draw her closer.

"Major kissage, guess that means Angel's awake." Xander commented, seeing the kissing couple as he wandered into the Med-Ward to check in.

The two stopped abruptly and pulled apart, Angel looking up embarrassed.

Buffy promptly ignored her friend and turned back to her confused husband "Angel?" She asked again, looking into his eyes.

"I...umm...it's coming back, I think." He told her, the fog clearing in his head as the drugs wore off. Adrenalin from slight panic helping burn the chemicals in his blood faster.

"You remember me?" She asked, hopeful.

"Still fuzzy on the details." He admitted. At her fallen shoulders, he added, "But I do know I love you." He could feel it in his heart.

She smiled at him, "Yes, yes you do."

"My wife?" He questioned, looking deeply into those hazel green eyes. The idea of being married to someone so beautiful defiantly intrigued him.

She nodded, "Just over two years now."

He nodded, "Kids?" He thought he could remember that small firm body with a baby ripened belly and a warm motherly glow.

"Two." She answered proudly.

He grinned, "I'm a lucky man."

"You are." She agreed. "Can you remember them?"

"I think so...beautiful brown-eyed girl and a baby boy with his mom's good looks?"

She nodded, "That would be our little troublemakers."

"Am I missing something here?" Xander cut in, listening to the weird conversation.

Buffy looked towards her friend, "Angel's having a little memory problem, but he's getting better."

Angel wrapped an arm possessively around her waist and pulled her closer. "I don't like him do I?" He asked into her ear.

She swallowed a grin. "You have your moments."

Xander nodded, "Ok, well then I'll leave you to alone. I really don't need to sit threw a rendition of the Buffy and Angel story...I've lived it, and trust me...once was scarring enough." He headed back upstairs to inform Giles and Dawn that Angel was awake and recovering.

"How are you feeling?" Buffy asked her husband, turning but making no move to escape the arm around her waist.

"My throat is sore, dry. Little stiff in the joints." He admitted, feeling like he could tell her anything.

She leaned forwards and grabbed a cup of water off the nearly table.

He thanked her and downed the glass, the cool water soothing his raw throat.

"Cass had to help you breathe with a tube, probably why your throat hurts." she pointed out.

He nodded, seeing the logic in that.

After a few moments he spoke again, "Where are we?" The place felt familiar, but not like home.

She looked up at him, his brown eyes struggling to recognize anything. "Lay down." She urged, figuring this soon after surgery he should be lying flat and resting as opposed to sitting up. He need time to purge the sedative and other drugs in his system.

He resisted at first, but she finally got him horizontal.

"We're at work." she answered his question. "Angel Investigations. We reopened your old detective agency, now it's growing into a world-wide organizations."

"Detective agency?" He asked, finding that sounding a little peculiar.

She could tell he was starting to fall asleep again. "We help the helpless. Those people who don't have anyone to turn to, turn to us."  
She wasn't about to freak him out by saying they kill demons for a living. His head was scrambled enough, he didn't need a heart attack too.

"Sounds nice." He muttered, eyelids heavy.

"It is." she agreed, loving her job.

"Sleep." She insisted as he tried to fight it, running her fingers along his temple. "I'll be right here when you wake."

"Promise?" he asked, looking up at her.

"I promise." she agreed, sitting beside him in the small bed.

He shifted slightly, resting his head on her thigh.

She smiled sadly and ran her fingers threw his hair as he nodded off. '_God, I hope his memory is back when he wakes up_.' She thought worriedly.

...

TBC


	38. Who Ordered the Apocalypse? Part 4

Who Ordered the Apocalypse? Part 4

* * *

Cassidy was standing by the bed and shaking her head while Buffy told her quietly about Angel's memory lapse.

Buffy had let him sleep for over an hour now and was mildly surprised he hadn't woken yet.

"His memory loss should be temporary, but I can check him over again if you want?" Cass offered.

At Buffy's nod, she grabbed her stethoscope from her office and went to work. She checked Angel's heartbeat and breathing first. "Hmm, heart seems a little elevated, but his lungs are clear." She told her patient's wife.

She looked over the meds and the monitors and everything checked out.

Pulling a pen light from her pocket, Cass gently shook Angel arm to wake him.

All she got in response was a grunt as he turned away to bury his face deeper into Buffy's thigh. Since his leg was once again bound in a cast and suspended to help the leg drain, he couldn't exactly roll onto his side or stomach as he wanted to escape Cass's harassment.

Wanting to check his pupils, Cass reached over and lifted a heavy eyelid and shinned the light right to left into the brown orb.

"Oh!" Cass jumped when Angel's right hand clamped tightly around her wrist, causing her to drop the light.

"Sharon Rose Cassidy, you shine that damn light in my eye again and your ass is fired." Angel growled out, voice completely human but with a very Angelus-like tone.

"Angel!" Buffy scolded, almost calling him Angelus for a second as she pried his hand off the doctor.

Cass pulled back quickly, hating when someone called her by her full name and knowing he was beyond serious when he did. "Well I'm pretty sure it's safe to say his memory's intact." The doctor blandly added, rubbing her sore wrist.

Angel promptly dragged the blanket over his head to show his disinterest in anything besides sleeping at the moment, preferable without being poked and prodded like a lab rat.

"It's ok." Cass persuaded Buffy, "The light more than likely sent an intense pain threw his brain, chances are he reacted automatically and doesn't even register what he did." On the other hand he could just be an old and cranky former demon...but she kept that thought to herself. Cassidy shrugged and went back to her office. Demon power or not, when Angel was in a fowl mood, she kept clear.

Buffy glanced down at her husband, currently buried under a blanket, and frowned. The fact he wasn't a happy camper at the moment was blatantly obvious, but she wasn't going to let his bad mood get him smothered under a blanket.

She pealed back the material and studied his face, relaxed in sleep.

"Angel?" She called, running her thumb lightly along his cheek to see if a gentler waking was less hostile than Cass's version. She wanted to just let him sleep, he obviously needed the rest, but her mind wouldn't let her just forget the fact he'd told her he didn't remember her. Answers were needed, like if her husband even knew who she was anymore.

"Angel?" She called again.

This time he shifted a little and grunted out "Sleeping."

"I know, but I need you to wake up for a minute, please?" she all but pleaded.

He groaned but opened his eyes. "Only because you said please."

She wasn't sure if he was kidding or not, but she smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Shitty." he grunted out. His gut feeling like a wrecking ball was smashing around inside.

"How's your head?" She asked, thinking how do you ask, 'do you know who I am' without sounding like an idiot.

"Pounding." He replied, with a scowl reminding her of a wet cat.

"Your memory?" She pried.

"What about it?" He asked.

Her brow wrinkled in confusion, "You didn't remember anything when you woke up. You had amnesia." She reminded him.

He looked back, equally confused. "I did?" He shrugged, "Must have amnesia about having amnesia." He added dryly.

"So you know who I am." She asked hopeful.

"Of course I do...my nurse." he replied seriously.

Her jaw dropped. "What?"

Even feeling like crap, he couldn't keep a straight face at her expression of horror.

"You asshole!" She accused, slapping his shoulder when she realized he was messing with her.

He let a brief chuckle escape before he sealing it up tight before he lost whatever it was he last ate from the nausea laughing caused.

She noticed him turn a slight shade of green. "Angel?" she asked in concern he was about to heave.

"Knew I didn't want to be sedated." He muttered, hating the way the drugs made him feel.

"Are you going to be sick?" She asked, not really wanting to be covered in stomach bile at the moment. She got thrown up on enough by the kids, never mind by her husband too.

"No." he muttered, knowing there was nothing in his stomach to toss. "Gonna sleep it off."

She leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead. "I love you."

He grinned a little, "I love you Buffy." He replied, for the first time since he woke actually looking directly into her eyes.

Her heart settled when she read the recognition and love in his eyes. That wasn't fake-able, his memory was intact.

"You should get some rest too." he added, wisely leaving out the 'you look like crap' part that would likely get him staked.

"I will, later." She promised, wanting to get the kids taken care of before she settle in beside him for the night.

...

She woke to Katie and Liam crying they were awake in the morning.

Buffy yawned and looked down at her husband, and was instantly worried when she realized he was still sound asleep. '_He __**never**__ sleeps threw the kids crying.'_

"Angel?" she called, running her thumb along his cheek. Her worry increased when she found he was warmer to the touch than normal.

_'He has a fever?'_ She wondered, placing the back of her hand along his heated brow.

"Angel?" She repeated, shaking him gently.

He didn't respond.

She said his name a third time with a little more worry induced force.

His eyes fluttered then groggily opened, "Huh? Why are you yelling?" He muttered, tired eyes focusing on Buffy's worry creased face.

"You didn't wake when the kids cried." She told him.

He eyes wandered over to the cribs, the two tots standing at the railings and repeating words to get their parents attention.

He made a move as if to get up, but Buffy's hand pressing down on his chest kept him firmly planted. "You're sick." she alerted him.

"Just tired." He denied, in his own mind trying to remember when he went 10 cycles in an industrial sized wash machine as his body felt he did.

"Being tired doesn't give you a fever." She countered, looking at the deep bags forming under his eyes and the red tinge to his usually bright orbs.

Despite the kids still crying, it took no argument for Angel to go back to sleep, that alone sealed her concern that something was very wrong with him.

...

Buffy was just finishing feeding the kids when Cassidy walked in.

The doctor was known for getting here early and staying late, the only paramedic in a Slayer packed facility usually kept her plenty busy.

The blond immediately pulled the redheaded doctor aside and out of Angel's hearing range, which was highly reduced without his demon side.

"Cass, I think something is wrong with Angel. He has a fever...he hasn't had a fever since he became human."

Cassidy nodded, "Shit, I was afraid of this." Thinking about how fast infection set upon his leg.

"What?" Buffy demanded, holding the kids tightly.

"His body must not be able to sustain a completely human state anymore, his preternatural side 'is' his immune system." She vocalized her fears.

"W-what does that mean?" Buffy asked, looking towards her pale husband lying still on the bed.

"Without an immune system the body can't heal...can't fight infections...can't survive." Cassidy leveled.

"So what...he's dying again?" Buffy shot, anger riding the wave of fear the welling within her.

"I'm afraid if his demon side doesn't manifest again soon...it's very possible, yes." She agreed.

Buffy's eyes shut tightly, "It will come back...right?" She asked, hopeful.

The redhead just shook her head, "I have no medical tools capable of telling me that."

In light of the new development, Cassidy reinstalled the IV lines Angel had removed against orders the previous night and gave him a booster to help support what little may remain of his mortal immune system.

Buffy sat beside him, bathing him with a cool cloth while Cassidy took some tests and Dawn and Willow took the kids so they could focus on Angel.

Two hours later...and Cassidy informed Buffy that Angel wasn't asleep, but unconscious.

...

Over the course of the next few hours, his health steadily declined. The fever intensified, his heart rate decreased, and his breathing grew more labored and ragged.

Buffy felt real fear pulling at her nerves again. '_Last night we were making love...now he's dying again? God, why is life so cruel to us?'_ she thought, holding his hand tightly and preying his demon side returned.

"Buffy?" The voice was small and weak, but she smiled down at her husband. He was awake for the first time in hours.

"Hey." She tried to sound casual, but she was sure her panic was betrayed by her face. She never could hide her emotions from him.

"Hey." He whispered back, just being awake was exhausting him.

"How are you doing?" She asked, worry tightening her words.

"Tired...why am I...so tired?" he asked, struggling to stay awake for the answer.

"Your demon supplies your immune system, with it absent...you don't have one." She leveled with him. Lying never seemed to help.

He painfully snorted at that.

"How is this funny!" She shot, angry he could find any humor at all in the situation.

"When Darla...came back human...she was...dying too." He told her.

"You're not dying." She denied, smashing the idea right out the ballpark. "Tell that lazy ass demon of yours to get his ass back here."

"Doesn't...work...that way." He admitted, wishing it did. Being completely mortal was killing him...pun intended.

"Make it work that way." She countered, really getting worried as his rapid decline.

He wanted to tell her not to worry, that he would be fine. But he didn't know that, and he physically couldn't lie to make her feel better on account he passed out again.

...

Buffy was pacing, Angel's health was steadily declining still and she felt helpless.

Cassidy was trying everything she could to strengthen Angel's defenses, pumping him full of various drugs and vitamin cocktails.

Nothing was working.

Angel was dying.

It had only been two days, but two days without an immune system and his body was shutting down.

...

Connor was pacing with Buffy, stressing out over his father's sudden downfall as much as his step-mom.

He was still beating himself up for leaving Angel Inc. the previous night, had he stayed, he would have been there when Drusilla showed up. He may have sensed her before she even reached the office...maybe he could have killed her before she even got close to Angel.

...

Xander was sitting and watching Buffy pace, worried for her, and he wouldn't admit, but Angel too.

It was simple, Angel made Buffy happy; if Angel died, that would serious take away Buffy's happy...and Xander really wanted to see her happy. Hell, the woman saved the world on a regular basis, not to mention literally gave her life to save all of mankind twice. If there was anyone in this world that deserved to be happy it was Buffy.

He glanced over at the pale form on the bed, a small part of him still hated Angel, but mostly because of times like this. The guy wasn't even conscious, yet he had such a powerful impact on Buffy's emotions.

It bothered Xander how dependent the Slayer was on the living vampire, not physically, but emotionally. He was her whole world...and if something happened to him...Buffy's heart would shatter like glass.

The kind of power was dangerous.

...

Willow and Oz were babysitting at Buffy and Angel's house, trying to calm the tense children by immersing them in a familiar atmosphere.

Willow loved interacting with the kids, and was slowly realizing how much she wanted one of her own.

Her and Oz had been dating again for a little over 3 threes now, and as mono-worded and blank Oz's expressions could be, she could see he liked the idea of kids too.

Of course, Willow had no idea Oz had been thinking over how to propose to her for over a year now.

The part-time werewolf wasn't the least bit hesitant about loving her or wanting to spend his life with her, but more than a little afraid of what children might mean for him and his condition.

Would his baby automatically be a werewolf? Could he bring a child into this world knowingly if they were to live a cursed existence? Was his condition a danger to Willow? Could he really keep control of his demon threw the stress of marriage and kids?

...

Giles and Dawn were in the offices upstairs, doing some research into possible ways to re-summon Angel's demon from dormancy.

Giles was very worried about his son-in-law.

He was even more worried for his daughter of the heart.

He knew Angel's demise would crush his slayer, and his mind couldn't help but think of the loss their children would suffer through growing up without their father.

He himself had a strained relationship with his own father, the man only ever wanted what was best for him but as a youth he didn't understand that. Despite the rocky-road relationship, Giles recognized how important the role of a father was...good or bad, it changed everything in a child's life.

As shocking as it had been to see the former Scourge of Europe as a parent, Angel was an amazing father to his kids, his loss would be devastating for the family and to Buffy.

...

Dawn's mindset was similar. She hated her sister's life was so centered around demons and magics and danger.

Hell, she herself was a creation of magic and she still hated it. She was good at it, and wanted to learn about it...but hated it.

Life would be so simple if they were a normal family.

Of course if they were 'normal' they wouldn't be who they are...and she did like who everyone was.

They were strong, and loyal, and they all loved one another. Nothing bonds a family tighter than nearly getting killed on a regular basis...but she still thought it sucked her sister was forced to endure so much hurt.

...

Everyone was already tense and walking on egg-shells when out of the blue, heart monitor flat-lined.

"Angel!" Buffy screamed, terrified this was it. He was going to leave her for real this time. She would be a widow, her children fatherless.

Cass was about to start CPR when Buffy felt his demon presence suddenly manifest, the familiar tingle rushing up her spine.

"Wait." She grabbed Cass's arm and held her back a moment, sensing to stay back.

"Buffy, what are you doing?" She would have argued further about letting Angel die when his eyes suddenly snapped opened.

He had no heartbeat, no breath, no life...but his eyes opened. The once chocolate brown orbs quickly overtaken by gold.

His body jerked as the demon essence flooded threw it again, re-vamping him, entering the blood, claiming the body.

As suddenly as the heart monitor mono-toned in death, it returned steadily to bleeping in life. The alarm silencing as his heart restarted and pounded back into steady rhythm.

His body relaxed, the demon features receded.

His golden eyes faded to brown as his lungs filled with oxygen.

Buffy felt the wave of demonic power settle and rushed over to her husband, sitting on the bed and running her thumb along his cheek.

"Angel? Can you hear me?" She called, his open eyes unfocused and foggy.

At the sound of her voice, he turned towards her, eyes struggling to clear.

"Buffy?" he asked as he blinked.

"Are you ok?" She asked, voice still full of fear.

He took a deep clear breath, his body rapidly healing, feeling energized by the power rush of his demon reemerging.

She almost yelped as he yanked her against him as he sat up, his hot tongue so suddenly in her mouth she had to try and remember how to respond.  
She melted against him, the feel of his strong hands kneading against her sore tense muscles, the life she sensed in him evaporating the worry.

By the way he was kissing her, he was defiantly more than ok.

When she pulled away to breathe she grinned against his cheek, "Well that was a creative way to use your tongue to answer my question."

"My demon missed you." He replied, kissing at her neck.

"Ok, before this turns rated X, would someone like to explain what the hell just happened?" Xander questioned loudly, more than a little rattled by a corpse suddenly reanimating and starting a necking session.

"I was dying, my demon returned...now I'm not." Angel remarked, am arm wrapping tightly around Buffy's waist, he was still kissing her neck.

"Dude, you were dead like three seconds ago! Now you're necking like nothing happened." Xander exasperated.

"You demon shut down your heart, didn't it?" Cassidy questioned, she too beside herself at Angel sudden turn around.

Buffy shrugged him off her neck, wanting him to continue but wanting an explanation more.

He reluctantly pulled back at her denial. "Yeah, I needed to be technically dead for the merger to happen." He offered lightly as he pulled the IVs from his arm.

"What? Are you saying you're like a computer, you need to restart the whole system for an update to take effect!" Xander blurted.

Cassidy thought a moment about what Angel said about how siring worked, "Actually, I'm comfortable saying that's exactly what happened."

Angel didn't reply, he wasn't listening on account he was busy kissing his wife again and she was making no move to stopping him.

"Uh, maybe we should...go?" Connor suggested, overjoyed his dad was very much alive and well, but rapidly noticing his dad and step-mom didn't really seem to care other people were in the room and not shy about expressing their relief Angel was alive. He really never wanted to see his 'parents' without clothing ever again, and if they stayed...they would see that very soon.

Connor, Xander and Cassidy made a quick exit before they saw more than they wanted to.

...

As soon as he sensed the room was cleared of staring eyes, his lips moved back to the healed over punctures.

After a moment she realized he was very interested in her scar...too interested.

She pulled back and look into his lust glazed eyes. "You want to drink, don't you?"

"Yes." He replied without hesitating in the slightest, not a drop of shame in his eyes.

The idea of him drinking wasn't the issue, but the fact he had taken quiet a bit only a day ago. She wasn't sure how much she'd been able to regenerate since then, but she knew it wasn't all of it.

"I only need a little, I can drink bagged if you don't want me to." He assured her, unable to resisting kissing his mark regardless of her answer.

Her fingers curled around the base of his neck and shoulder, holding him against her. "I want you to." She told him truthfully.

He looked up into her eyes, reading her for hesitation. He found none.

His lips met hers again, kissing hungrily. Somewhere inside she felt his face change, but it didn't deter her in the least.

After a moment his lips traveled from her lips to her cheek, then dropped to her jaw, then traveled down her throat and to his mark.

She barely felt his fangs as they gently pricked her skin, his tongue laving at the blood that welled from the wounds.

She defiantly did feel the warmth spreading through her, the tingling that washed over her and relaxing every tense muscle in her body.

After a moment she realized he'd stopped drinking and was just kissing again. '_He couldn't have taken more than a mouthful._' She wondered.

She pulled back just enough to look into his once again brown eyes. "Was that enough?"

He grinned at her, "I only needed a taste, to complete the circuit, settle my demon."

"So that's it? You're all healed?" She asked, seeing the remnants of the fever disappearing. He still had slight bags under his eyes, but the paleness of his cheeks was gone, once again flushed with health and life.

"My leg may take a day or so to finished mending, but yes, that's it, I'm healed." He said while running the fingers of his right hand down her cheek.

She leaned into his touch, "But how did you heal so fast?" She asked, knowing he didn't usually heal instantly.

"I had a little help." He leaned back against his pillow and pulled her down with him, nuzzling against her cheek.

She was about to ask but realized, "All the drugs Cass was giving you?"

He nodded, "Yeah, supercharged by healing."

"But not your leg?" She questioned, settled down against him.

He shook his head at her, a grin on his lips. "Are you complaining?"

"No." She replied, enjoying the strong thumping of his heart beneath her ear, "Just curious."

He shrugged, "Despite superhuman abilities, underneath I'm still human. It was a bad break, takes time to mend bones that literally snap in half."

They were silent a moment, content in being close together.

She turned her head from his chest and looked up into his face, she was going to ask him something but forgot what it was when she saw his eyes were shut. The worry rushed back, afraid he was relapsing again. "Angel!" she called, sitting up.

His arm gently pulled her back down, "I'm just tired beloved." He told her, the adrenaline rush from his demon returning dissipating and the lack of actual restful sleep over the last few days catching up again.

"You've been asleep all day" She countered, checking his forehead and pulse.

He gently pried her fingers from his neck and kissed them. He opened his eyes and ran his other thumb up her cheek, "I've been unconscious most of the day, that hardly counts as sleep. I just need a few hours, honest. Then I'm going home, I'm going to hug our kids, raid the refrigerator, play with our kids...and after they go to bed, I'm planning on making love to my wife. But in order to have the energy for all that," He paused as he yawned, "I need a little sleep."

She smiled at him, only feeling love and strength radiating off him. His heart was beating strong in his chest, there was no trace of fever on his skin. "Are you planning in that exact order?" She teased, kissing his cheek.

He grinned, "I was thinking of bumping one of them up."

"And which one was that?" She asked, eyes shimmering.

"Raiding the fridge." he said in all seriousness.

She rolled her eyes, "Fuddy-duddy"

He leaned up and captured her lips again, "Am not." He countered when they parted for breath. "I just want to wait until I have some energy to burn. I could make love to you right now, but I'm afraid it wouldn't be very fulfilling for either of us. What's the point if I just fall asleep on you?"

"Hmm, yeah, I can see your point." She relented, pushing him back down and snuggling against him. "I guess I could use a few hours sleep too." She yawned.

His arms enfolded around her, and he kissed her crown as she pillowed her head over his heart.

After a few minutes she spoke up again, "Angel?"

"Hmm." He mumbled, half asleep already.

"You're not going to ditch me for a sandwich again are you?" She half joked, half concerned she'd wake up with something wrong again.

He was silent a moment and she thought maybe he fell asleep when he responded, "Depends on the sandwich."

She gasped and slapped his chest, "What!"

"Egg-salad...no, roast beef with cheese and mustard...maybe, steak bomb...defiantly." he teased.

"You're an asshole." She laughed, knowing if he was teasing her like this he was perfectly fine.

He leaned his head down and kissed her crown again, "Go to sleep beloved, I promise I'll be here when you wake."

Finally letting go of her anxiety, she did, and slept like a rock.

...

When Buffy awoke a few hours later, the first thing she noticed was a hard and lumpy mattress beneath her, not Angel.

Her eyes popped open as she scanned the bed in front of her, he wasn't there.

_'He promised me!'_ She fumed. Ready to jump out of bed, find him, and give him a reason to be in a hospital bed.

She was about to do just that, but something was wrapped around her waist, keeping her from getting up.

She turned to see what she was caught on, '_Oh, never mind._' She thought, letting her anger dissolve and feeling mildly foolish.

Angel wasn't beneath her or in front of her, because he was spooned up behind her.

His arm around her waist tightened, automatically pulling her closer and closing the distance she'd created while moving.

She relaxed against him, feeling his still strong and steady heartbeat and his deep and even breaths as he exhaled against her ear.

Satisfied he had kept his promise and was fine, she tried to fall back to sleep...except the hard mattress was pushing uncomfortably against her hip.

Figuring he was comfier, she pushed against him, knowing he would roll over onto his back and she could climb up on him to get off the crappy mattress.

When she nudged him, he responded, unwrapping his arm from her and rolling over.

Except neither of them realized he was on the edge of the narrow bed.

Buffy turned when she head a yelp and a crash behind her, instantly realizing what happened.

"Oh, Angel, are you ok? I'm sorry!" She asked, jumping down beside him on the floor.

Needless to say, he was wide awake now. "Ow." He grumbled, rubbing his head.

"Are you hurt?" She asked, searching for a bump when he had been rubbing.

He grabbed her hands, cutting off her search for injuries, "No, well...maybe my pride." He admitting, kissing her temple.

She helped him up, which was difficult with one leg in a cast he couldn't bend at the knee.

"Are you sure you're ok?" She asked once they were sitting on the bed.

"I fell out of bed...I'm not exactly at my worst here." He reasoned with a slight grin.

"Ok, ok. I'm still sorry though, I nudge you to roll over." She admitted, hugging him an apology.

He hugged back, enjoying the feel of her small but well muscled body pressing against his. "Well then I guess you'll have to pay me back then." He grinned, kissing her lips.

Their kissing session was interrupted as their bodies grumbled out growls of hunger.

"How about I pay you back after we eat?" She suggested.

He grinned, "I like the way you think."

...

The day progressed very similar to how Angel suggested it would hours before. They raided the fridge, convinced their friends he was fine, ignored Cassidy's suggestion to stay the night for observation and went home.

Angel was mildly annoyed he couldn't drive his convertible home with the cast on his leg, but did actually find some amusement in being driven instead of being the driver. "I should make you drive more often, it's kinda nice just hanging out and watching the scenery."

"You're lying." She stated from the driver's seat, steering the boat of a car towards home.

"Well...yeah, Ok, I'd rather be driving...but I'm not because I don't trust you behind the wheel of a vintage 1967 Plymouth Belvedere GTX Convertible. Even if only 2,026 were ever made..." He ranted a little nervously.

"You drove this car threw an inter-dimensional portal with no roads...then it was spit it back out into a nightclub." She countered, remembering Lorne telling her the story one night after he had one too many drinks.

"Demon karaoke bar." He corrected, "and don't remind me."

...

"Daddy!" Katie yelled excitedly, running up to him as he limped through the front door. Cass assured then with the pins and metal plate installed, his leg bone wouldn't shift again.

He bent and scooped her up, tossing her lightly into the air and catching her. "Hey princess." He greeted her, kissing her cheek and holding her close. She wrapped her arms around his neck, nearly too tight, and didn't let go.

Liam followed his sister's example, Buffy lifting him up and kissing him, "There's my little man." She smiled, happy to be reunited with her babies.

Willow and Oz left a short time later, seeing their friends needed some family time. Not to mention needed to discuss their own possible future family.

Buffy and Angel switched kids after a few minutes, wanting equal time with them both.

"Daddy smells." Katie wrinkled her nose when Angel picked her back up a while later.

"What?" He defended, "I do not." He looked at Buffy for help and she shrugged, "You could use a shower." She agreed with her daughter.

A brooded expression slid across his face, "Gee, thanks, way to make a guy feel loved."

"Love you." Katie replied, kissing his nose.

A huge smile lit up Angel's face when his baby girl said that, not even Katie wrinkling her nose again and saying "Yucky." could budge it.

Buffy wiped a happy tear from her eye as her husband practically floated upstairs to take a shower, smiling the whole time.

...

Buffy heard a knock at the front door a few minutes and quickly went to answer it. Katie beating her to it and trying to turn the knob.

"No honey, never open the door without me or daddy, Ok?" She asked, knowing they would need to drill that into the kids as early as possible to prevent either of them from accidentally inviting in a vampire or other demon.

Buffy glanced threw the peephole and quickly opened the door for her step-son. "Hey Connor." She greeted, handing Liam to him as the blond boy practically leaped from her arms to his big brother.

"Whoa, hey little bro." The young man grinned, then ruffling the small brunette head when he felt Katie hugging his leg.

"Come on in, your dad just went to shower." She explained.

"That's be fun with his cast." Connor commented, remembering when he was a kid his sister had one on her arm for a few months during the summer. She had to wrap it in a plastic bag and hang it out of the shower, not to mention it really put a damper on her pool time. Of course he knew those memories were fake and with his vampiric parenthood he'd never broken a bone in his life...well besides fighting demons, but they healed fast.

"Oh, that's right." Buffy suddenly remembered Angel's cast. She wasn't used to her husband needed casts, usually a brace was put on his injures that could be easily removed, not something semi-permanent.

"Maybe you should go help him with that." Connor suggested, "I'll watch these little monsters for a while."

"Thank you." She said, kissing his cheek.

"No problem...oh, grab a trash bag to wrap the cast in...keeps the water out."

Buffy nodded and went to grab the bag and some tape from the kitchen as Connor made himself at home.

"Daddy? Mommy?" Katie cried, seeing Buffy head up the stairs.

"Don't worry Kit-Kat, they'll be back down. Dad's just taking a shower and mom need to help him cus of his ouch." He explained to the tot.

He got down on the floor with his siblings and kept them entertained.

...

Buffy entered the upstairs bathroom in their bedroom to find Angel giving himself a sponge bath.

"That's not gonna cut it." She grinned from the doorway, liking the view of his bare behind.

"Can't really shower wearing this." He indicated to his cast.

"Well that's why I brought this." Buffy replied, proceeding to wrap the cast in the trash bag and tape the opening shut around his leg.

"Smart idea." He nodded.

"Thank your son." She said giving Connor the credit he was due.

"See, sending him to college paid off." Angel joked.

She shook her head at him, "Get that sexy ass in the shower, now."

"You joining me?" He questioned with a sly smile, turning on the water and checking to see when it was hot.

"I need to watch the kids." She denied, helping him over the rim of the tub in case his cast slipped on the slick tile.

"Connor's downstairs, I even heard him say he would watch them." He countered her, easing under the hot spray.

"True." She thought, mind trying to decide whether to tease him or join him.

"So shower it is then." he grinned, grabbing her wrist and pulling her towards the water.

"Wait, Angel I'm still dressed!" She yelped as he yanked her in with him.

"You needed to wash these anyways." He reasoned, watching with interest as the water drench her white shirt, grinning as it revealing her feminine curves hidden beneath.

"Oh my god! I can't believe you did that!" She exasperated, feeling her clothing instantly sag with moisture. "No wait...I can believe it." She altered, seeing his eyes watching her breasts.

"You know, those wet clothes look uncomfortable, let me help you remove them." He said as seriously as he was able.

She quickly peeled off her shirt and chucked it at his head.

She grinned in satisfaction as it spatted against his face in a wet heap.

Of course the force made him step back, and the cast slick with water and a plastic bag was lousy traction.

He slipped.

She grabbed him instantly, pushing him back against the wall of the shower to keep him from falling.

He gasped, "Holy crap!"

"What?" She yelped out, afraid she broke him.

"Oh, that's cold." he muttered.

She realized he was reacting to the ice cold tile she slammed him up against, not pain.

"Baby." She rolled her eyes, she never complained about the cold wall when they made love in the shower. Granted she usually was too occupied to even feel it.

"And here you thought I dragged you in here just to see you naked." He grinning, wrapping his arm around her waist and bending to kiss his mark.

She shook her head, "So you premeditated kidnapping me to hold you up in the shower?" she questioned with a smirk, her half clothed body pressing teasingly against his very unclothed body.

"You got the 'up in the shower' part right." He muttered while kissing her neck.

She grinned when she felt what he meant a second later.

"We're not having sex in the shower with your three kids waiting just downstairs." She denied a moment later, halting his wandering fingers from trying to undo her now very soggy jeans.

"I can be quiet." he suggested, hands moving up her chest.

"Whenever you say that, you purposefully make sure I _can't_ be quiet..." She accused, slapping his hands away.

He swallowed a knowing grin. "Do not." He lied.

She shook her head and quickly spun him around, stuffing him against the wall of the shower. "Cool off."

He groaned almost painfully as his interested member suddenly met very cold shower tiles. "That was low." He muttered.

Giggling to herself, she grabbed a facecloth and proceeded to wash/tease the heck out of him.

...

Once he was squeaky clean, she shut the water and wrapped a large towel around his waist. By then, he was nearly catatonic from lust, but she was rather adamant about waiting until tonight.

She grinned to herself, as she slipped from the bathroom to change, knowing that she was more than likely going to be tacked the second the kids went to bed.

The smile grew. _'Give him a taste of his own medicine, see how he likes getting all hot and bothered then needing to wait.'_

_...  
_

After she changed, she tossed a set of clothes into the bathroom for Angel when he got himself back under control. "I'll be downstairs, try not to slip and break yourself." she teased through the partly closed door.

"Funny." He replied, getting ready to brush his teeth and give himself a very much needed shave.

...

To her surprise, he kept himself under control the rest of the day and into the early evening. Other than stealing a kiss now and again, he was a very good boy, even offering to cook. '_He's so just trying to get in your pants.'_ she thought to herself, and as she tasted the meal he prepared she added,_ 'Oh it's _so_ working.'_

Connor stayed for dinner, allowing for a little intelligent conversation over food rather than just the typical, 'Don't play with your food, remember to chew, eat your dinner, stay in that chair, don't throw your food...' that surrounded having small children at the table with you.

He declined staying the night though, he could see clear as day what his parents would be doing as soon as the kids went to bed. '_I've had way more than enough of that when I lived with them...really never need that kind of scarring again._' He thought to himself, smirking a little.

After dinner and desert, they had some family time, just enjoying being together and celebrating no one except the bad guys died during the predicted but flopped apocalypse.

Once the kids were sufficiently worn out, Connor found as excuse to give the couple some much desired privacy.

He wasn't surprised anymore when Angel yanked him into a tight hug on his way out. On the contrary, he looked forward to it. When he was a baby, the silent cool chest had been soothing, being a child born of two vampires it wasn't surprising. However, now that he'd heard his father's heartbeat, it was a far more comforting sound than it's absence.

"Thanks for everything Connor. I'm more proud of you everyday." Angel praised, for his son's courage during the fighting and also during Angel's failing health. He'd helped keep Buffy grounded and distracted his siblings when the tension was highest...all without falling into his own feelings.

A tear of emotion welled in Connor's eye, he quickly whipped it away before his dad saw it.

Angel shook his head, already smelling the salty tears. "Real men **do** cry Con, there is no shame in it."

"You almost died today." He whispered, face buried in Angel's shoulder.

He hugged his son tighter, "Almost, but still alive and kicking...well maybe not kicking for a few more days." He amended feeling the cast snug against his leg.

"Still, you could have gone away." Connor muttered, feeling the stab of fear he suppressed earlier that he'd be an orphan, alone again.

"It's not the first time I've nearly died, and I'm sure it won't be the last." Angel admitted. "When I do go, which I hope isn't for a long, long time, you'll never be alone. You have Buffy, your siblings, the gang...I know they'll be safe, that you'll take good care of them for me."

Connor nodded against him, accepting the responsibility he was being offered.

"Stay safe." Angel ordered and pressed a kiss into his boy's crown.

As a 'cover' Angel stepped back lightly punched Connor in the arm. "Don't get eaten on the way home." Angel teased, knowing his boy was very capable of handling himself.

The young man grinned his thanks, punching Angel back. "Don't eat anyone." He teased back.

Connor left and the two drowsy tots were washed, changed and put into bed.

...

Buffy had just finished in the bathroom when Angel grabbed her.

She half yelped in surprise/half laughed in anticipation as he hauled her up and pressed her back against the wall beside the door frame.

Her legs automatically wrapped tightly around his waist, her arms tightening on his shoulders as her hands plunged into his hair.

His tongue was already probing at her mouth, eagerly awaiting entry, which she promptly granted.

Positioned as he was, his hips had full range of motion. The weight of his body supported on his good leg and his balance kept by his hand holding the door frame on his injured side.

Buffy was very happy she chose to wear a nothing but a nightie. The short tantalizingly see threw satin was already hiked up over her hips, Angel's ramped interest in her pressing greedily against her inner thigh.

She repositioned to allow him entry, which he immediately took advantage of.

There was time later for slow passionate lovemaking...this was need, raw and powerful.

This wild animistic side of him always sent her desire whirling out of control; the usually slow and methodological passion ramped into fast and mindless lust. Her nails bit into his shoulder as he plunged against her, his lips devouring hers as his body rapidly hammered her towards ecstasy.

She screamed his name as they went over the edge together, momentarily forgetting the babies sleeping a few rooms down the hall.

On rubbery legs, he walked the few steps to the bed and dropped onto it, Buffy still clinging possessively to him.

Once he got his breath back, he found her lips again, keeping her fire burning with his talented wandered fingers. It wouldn't be long before he'd be ready to go again, and he wanted her primed and ready for him.

...

Buffy had lost count of the orgasms sometime after the ninth, and that had been a while ago. She was honestly wondering if it were possible to die from climaxing.

Angel was insatiable. His body screamed to feel alive, the demon equally lusting for life.

As much as they gave each other, they still wanted more.

Finally, after dancing around the position all night, he rolled atop her. Despite the awkwardness of the cast, Buffy eagerly wrapped her legs around him, needing this as much as he did.

Her well muscled thighs more than compensated for his limited mobility, their passion sending them into completion over and over again.

...

Angel growled as his body released, bringing Buffy with him as the demonic noise vibrated in his chest.

He panted against her neck for a moment, fully intending to roll off and give her space to breath, except she would let go on him.

"Stay." she breathed against his ear, wanting his weight pressing down on her, needing to feel his body hot and alive cradled against hers.

He didn't object, snuggling down as their bodies recouped from hours of near constant lovemaking.

"We're out of condoms." He smirked against her neck, knowing he always had at a minimum of two boxes on hand.

"Tomorrow, priority...get more." She insisted against his cheek, her body begging for rest after such wonderful exertion.

"You're not coming too?" He asked, knowing she liked to pick out new types and styles. Although more often then not he hated them.

"I've come enough." she played on his words, "Besides, I'll be lucky if I can even walk tomorrow." She added a second later.

He couldn't help but feel a wave of male pride wash over him. "Guess I'll just have to carry you."

She shook her head, laughing slightly, "Yeah ok, broken leg guy will be the designated walker...disaster waiting to happen."

"Hey, I do pretty well with a broken leg Miss-I-Can't-walk." He defended playfully.

"Mrs." she corrected.

He smirked, "Mr and Mrs Can't Walk...perfect."

With the passion induced adrenaline easing off, sleep was rapidly approaching for them both.

"I love you." He whispered, kissing her lips lightly.

Her arms tighten around him, fingers running down his back and through his hair one final time, "I love you." She replied, kissing back.

Buffy closed her eyes as Angel drifted to sleep atop her, the worry of the last few days thoroughly purged from her body as she joined him.

...

Author's Note: Just in-case anyone was wondering...the character of Cass comes from the game Fallout: New Vegas. Named Rose of Sharon Cassidy in the game but commonly called Cass, she's a smart ass companion that travels with you and helps out. She's not a doctor in the game, but this version of her is based more on physical appearance and attitude rather than the actual character.


	39. Loss

April 21, 2007 - Loss - *Caution! Very sad story*

* * *

Angel had been dead tired when his head finally hit the pillow that night.

He and Buffy had spent all day running training drills with the newbie Slayers and his body was really feeling the hours of abuse by a small army of super strong woman with damn good fighting skills. Although it was only sparring, he still took a good number of hits from the girls still learning to harness their power, and even blocked punches began to hurt after enough of them.

That's why when Buffy suddenly scrambled to the bathroom during the night he didn't wake.

Half hour later his body finally acknowledged her absence and as his sensed reached out to find her, he heard muffled sobs coming from behind the closed bathroom door.

Instantly on alert he was up and at the door in a second, "Buffy? Buffy are you ok? Is something wrong?" He asked concerned, knocking gently.

She didn't reply other than the muffled sob.

That's when he smelt blood.

Nearly ripping the locked door off the hinges from fear he pushed it open and found Buffy curled against the wall, sitting in a small pool of blood.

"Buffy!" He immediately went to her, pulling her onto his lap despite the blood soaking into his sweats.

For a second she pulled away from him, his presence making it so much worse. But his arms wrapping around her was like a soothing balm on her aching heart, she buried her face into his neck and let the tears flow, finding comfort in his warm solid form.

The stench of the blood was strong in his nose, instead of rousing his demon, he just felt sick from it.

Deep in his gut, he knew what this blood was, and the thought crushed him.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Buffy cried against him, "I didn't know...I should have known...It's my fault..."

"Buffy, where are you bleeding?" He asked, knowing, but hoping to God he was wrong.

"I was pregnant Angel...and now...I'm not." She admitted, not looking at him but shielding her face in his shoulder out of shame for losing something so precious for both of them.

"Are...you sure?" He asked, not hearing a heartbeat in her womb but it could still be too early.

That was the one thing bugging him...when could she have conceived? They used protection every time, and he would have noticed if the condom broke.

Then it hit him, almost 5 weeks ago, the day Drusilla nearly killed him. They'd made love the night his heart had stopped. It was brief compared to their usual lovemaking, but they hadn't used protection, it was the only time they hadn't since Liam's birth.

"Positive." She nodded. She couldn't tell him about the tiny kidney bean sized form that had come out of her as her uterus contracted violently, the little body that would have been their baby. She couldn't get the image out of her mind, the darkened areas that would have been eyes, the little nubs that would have grown into arms and legs, fingers and toes.

"Oh god! It's all my fault!" She sobbed, holding him so tight he thought she may have been trying to crawl under his skin to hide.

"It's not." He soothed, rubbing his fingers down her back. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I should have known." She repeated, heartbroken. '_I should know when I'm pregnant...other woman know._'

"It was too early...I didn't even know." He replied, rubbing her back still. Usually he knew before she did, but that was because he could hear the little heartbeat...and that didn't happen till around 6 weeks.

"It **is** my fault...I...got kicked in the stomach earlier...I just kept fighting...maybe if I'd rested...or not participated in the training..." She cried, feeling responsible for killing their baby.

"It wouldn't have made any difference." He told her, hoping he wasn't lying to her.

"You don't know that." She countered, finally looking up at him.

"Neither do you." He reasoned.

She looked down, resting her head against his chest as he brushed the damp hair from her forehead and placed a kiss there. "It's not your fault Buffy, sometimes..." He spoke quietly to her, trailing his fingers in her blond locks. "Sometimes, it just doesn't work. The DNA...it doesn't mix right. I read it happens more often then woman like to think...many don't even realize it...they just think they had a heavy period."

"I don't get periods." She countered. She was a slayer, slayers were built different.

He shook his head, "No, you don't...but you're still a young healthy woman, there is nothing wrong with you my love. We have two beautiful children because of you." He kissed her cheek. "The time wasn't right for our family to grow, whether the time is ever right or not, it doesn't matter to me. I love you, I love what you've already given me...I'm happy with that I've been blessed with, I don't need more." But he knew he'd certainly take more if he had the option, but she didn't need to hear that right now. She needed time for her heart to heal, as did he.

"I didn't even know the baby was there...but I already miss it." She muttered against his chest.

"Me too." he admitted, feeling the loss but knowing it couldn't cut him as deeply as it cut Buffy. Even as a father, he'd never know the loss a mother felt.

After a few minutes of just holding one another and sharing strength, he wordlessly began to undress them and turned on the shower.

The silence between them wasn't awkward, they just had no words to speak. Their heart too heavy in their mouths.

He cleaned the blood from both of them, her body now finished it's unwelcome purging of life.

He dried them off and dressed her in a comfortable long shirt and matching fleecy pants.

When her hair was toweled dry enough, he carried her back to bed and slid her in between the sheets.

Silent tears slipped down her cheeks as he quietly cleaned the blood up off the bathroom floor.

He was just about to toss a bloody tissue on the counter when her voice halted him.

"Wait!" She yelped, seeing him about to crush up the tissue and toss it.

He turned to look at her and immediately understood the pained expression of love and loss in her eyes.

His outstretched hand hesitated then fell back to his side, his eyes stinging at the realization.

Inside the tissue was the miscarried babe.

"I...I couldn't just...flush it." She justified quietly, looking small and frail while leaning against the door frame. Her face pale and drawn from emotional trauma.

He left the tissue on the counter and went to his wife, enfolding her in his arms. "You did nothing wrong, my love."

She leaned against him, greedily taking his offered comfort.

"I'll be back in an hour or so." He told her, leading her back to their bed.

"Where are you going!" She asked, not wanting to be alone, especially now.

"Just out to the garage." Added to alleviate her fears.

"Why?" she asked, wanting him to stay with her.

"You'll see when I get back." He kissed her forehead and tucked her back in. "Rest beloved, I promise I'll wake you when I get back."

She glanced to the now closed bathroom door, "I can't sleep." The memories of what happened so recently in that bathroom were too vivid in her mind.

He understood and picked her up again. Normally she'd protest being carried for no reason, by this time she let him.

He went downstairs and placed her on the couch in the living room, wrapping her in the white wedding anniversary blanket he gave her, then disappearing into the kitchen for a few minutes. When he returned he pressed a mug of hot chocolate into her hands. "Drink this, and just rest Ok? I'll be back in soon." He kissed her forehead and brushed a strand of hair from her face. " I love you, you did nothing wrong." he repeated again to drill it into her mind.

She nodded sadly and sipped her drink as he pulled on his coat and boots then headed out to the garage.

He went straight for the little workbench he had in the corner. When he was thinking of building Buffy a jewelry box for valentine's day, he bought a few different types of wood to experiment on, even build a mini box as a trial. He dug through the junk and pulled the small box from the tool chest.

Sitting down with it, he went to work remodeling it.

...

Buffy was still sitting quietly on the couch when he slipped down next to her almost an hour later.

She automatically snuggled against him as he kissed her temple, her eyes red from crying.

Her heart felt a little better now she was nestled in his arms again, hearing the soothing, thump, thump, thump of his heart against her ear.

"It doesn't have to be right now...but I thought maybe we could...have a little service for what we lost?" He held up the small box, stained a deep cherry with inscribed roses and hearts. The edges lightly detailed, smooth and simple, yet elegant. On the cover of the mini make-shift coffin, Angel had inscribed the words, 'Our Babe' in his most beautiful old world handwriting.

Buffy's eyes instantly teared again, her hand covering her mouth to stifle a sob upon seeing the tiny 'coffin'.

He pulled back the box when she started to cry again, seeing her tears he thought he really screwed up this time.

"I'd like that." She sniffled out, agreeing to his offer of having a service. In just...felt right. Reaching her hand out for the box she pushed down her emotion, she wanted to see what he'd made for their lost child without tears blurring her vision.

He handed it to her, wrapping her back in his arms again and grabbing a tissue from the end table.

He dabbed at the drying tears as she looked over the box. "It...looks just like my jewelry box, but in mini." She looked up at him, questioning.

"It was an early prototype." he confirmed, "I figured something handmade was more appropriate than tupper-ware and more secure than a tissue."

She ran her fingers along the words, then opened it. The inside was lined with the same crushed red velvet material as her jewelry box, the only difference was the smaller size and the inside didn't have compartments.

"It's perfect." She whispered, almost feeling the love he'd put into making the box. Maybe it hadn't been originally built to be a coffin, but the idea of laying her lost babe in it was far more desirable that letting something created from her and Angel's love be laid to rest down a sewer pipe.

"When you're ready, we can bury it outback in the garden. Maybe plant some flowers and put a marker when it warms up?" He suggested.

She nodded against his shoulder, the idea of giving the would-have-been child a 'funeral' and laying it to rest close by gave her some comfort. It gave her a sense of peace knowing there would be evidence the life once existed, that it was loved and wouldn't be forgotten.

"Tomorrow?" she asked him, not wanting to let the remains sit unburied for long.

He nodded, "Alright."

He made as if to get up, but she grabbed his arm to hold him put.

"Can we...stay here tonight?" She didn't want to go back to her bed, to be that close to where she lost her baby. Not right now, she couldn't tonight.

He nodded again, shedding his coat and boots and lying down on the couch.

She snuggled up on the inside, sandwiched snugly between him and the back of the couch.

He kissed her forehead as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Will it stop hurting tomorrow?" She pleaded after a few minutes of silence, the lump of despair heavy in her heart.

He shook his head sadly, "No...but everyday, it'll hurt a little less."

"Until it stops?" She asked.

"I think...it's like a scar, the pain fades as it heals, but the mark will always remain. It becomes a part of you, your forever changed." He offered.

She nodded, "I don't want to forget." She was pregnant, she had the life in her. It was real, she wanted to keep that thought alive.

"You don't have to." He assured.

Finally the exhaustion of the ordeal caught up to her and she drifted to sleep secure in her husband's arms.

Angel lay awake for a while longer, his own heart equally broken for what they lost.

...

Early the following morning, Angel slipped from Buffy's arms and wrapped her comfortably up in the blanket.

He needed to put the tiny remains in the little coffin, and he knew Buffy didn't need to watch.

A minute later he stood in the bedroom's joining bathroom, looking at the tissue.

He thought briefly of just flicking it into the box and shutting the cover, but found he couldn't do that.

Gently, with slightly shaky hands, he unwrapped the white paper and saw what Buffy had seen the night before.

He shut his eyes, feeling the emotion he'd been able to distance himself from, before he saw the body, well up in him. With wet cheeks, he carefully took the embryo and placed it in the center of the box. As small as the 'coffin' was, it seemed vast to the form it contained.

He wanted to say something, but didn't know what. "I'm sorry." slipped out. The box seeming so inadequate for the potential life it contained.

Closing the box, he headed back downstairs.

For a moment, he was at a loss of what to do with the object until the burial. Finally he placed it on the mantel above the fireplace, an honorary spot reserved for may a valuable items.

...

Buffy woke a short time later, immediately looking for her absent husband. "Angel?" She called, sitting up.

"Making coffee." Came the reply from the kitchen.

She relaxed a little. Getting up and wrapping the blanket tightly around her shoulders, she headed towards the kitchen.

"You should be resting." Angel scolded when she sat at the table, placing a mug of hot coffee in her hands.

"I'm fine." She replied, figuring it was only a half lie. Physically she was fine, mentally however...'Out of service'.

He sat beside her, holding his own cup of coffee more for the warmth than actual desire to drink it. Making coffee gave him a task, so he'd done it. It made the day seem just a tad bit more normal, even if it wasn't.

"The kids will be up soon." She observed, knowing they tended to wake around 7 AM.

"I can handle them if you're...not up to it." He offered, wanting to give her time to grieve.

She shook her head, "No, I think they'll help more than hurt."

He nodded, understanding.

Shortly after the sounds of rousing children came down the stairs and Buffy let her mind wander to the comforting chaos of having two toddlers to feed and clothe and keep from inadvertently trying to kill themselves as they explored the world.

...

Later that evening, the kids were down for their nap and Buffy found herself staring at the tiny casket on the mantel.

Angel had told her it was there, mostly so if she needed time to say goodbye, she would know where to find it.

She had gone into the bedroom to get clothes, but had used the downstairs bathroom for all her needs. Knowing her unborn wasn't still sitting in a tissue on the counter helped, but she wasn't ready to enter than room again yet.

"Are you alright?" Angel asked, wrapping his arms around her from behind as she stared at the wooden container.

"Not really." She sighed. "I know it's probably just hormones, but I...I hate this. I've lost people I love before, my mom, friends, I've died myself, I even killed you...but this...this feeling is worse."

"I know." He agreed, holding her closer. "When Connor was stolen, I thought he was dead. That feeling of loss, it pierces deeper than any knife. I didn't leave my bed for over a week. It hurt to much to move...to even think. Never getting the change to hold this one doesn't make it hurt any less."

She turned in his arms and hugged him tight. She'd known about what happened with Connor, he'd told her everything. But now, now she really understood what he'd gone through. Now she knew the pain of losing a child, even if she never got to meet them.

"Now, I want to have the service now." She whispered against his shoulder.

"Are you sure your ready?" He asked, not wanting her to rush herself.

She gave him a weak smile, "I'll never be ready...but I think now is right."

He nodded, taking her hand in his right, and the small casket in his left.

...

They stood outside in the back yard. There was a small area set aside for a garden along the side of the house.

They'd never really used it before, the area mostly dominated by hardy shrubs and more than a few weeds. Neither had much of a green thumb.

Buffy picked out a spot she liked and Angel silently dug a foot deep hole.

When the hole was dug, she knelt and gently laid the small box in the center of the grave.

They stood side by side for a moment, unsure how to proceed.

"Do you want to say something?" Angel asked.

She nodded, "Yeah, but I don't know what." What do you say to a baby your never bore?

"Just speak from your heart my love." He encouraged.

She nodded and bowed her head down to the little casket. "I may have only been your home for a few weeks, but I'll be your mother for a lifetime. I never got the chance to hold you in my arms, to hear your heartbeat, to watch you grow, or to feel you kick inside of me, but I'll keep you in my heart, forever. I love you my little lost soul."

She took a step back as tears flooded her eyes and leaned against Angel for support.

He held her tight and let a tear roll down his cheek as he spoke, "You may have only been here for a fleeting moment, but you were ours. You were wanted and you were loved, and you'll be remembered."

When they composed themselves, he silently filled in the hole.

"It's too barren." She whispered, seeing the lonely dark circle of upturned earth. She knelt and gathered a few of the small stones and arranged them in a ring around the grave.

He searched inside his coat pocket and found a cross. He often kept one along with a stake just in case he ran into unwelcomed company.

He knelt beside her and laid the cross in the middle of the circle of stone. "For now." He offered, "Until we get something permanent."

She nodded, feeling better now there was a visible marker over the final resting spot of their unborn.

"We should get back inside, I think the kids are waking up." He suggested, seeing her shivering in the brisk April air.

"Can I have a minute alone?" She asked, eyes still on the cross.

"Of course." he kissed her temple and went back inside to give her space to grieve.

...

Almost a month later:

Buffy was in her usual spot at Angel's side, her head resting on his shoulder.

She looked over at him in the dim light cast by the moon outside. He was sound sleep and snoring quietly.

She smiled a little at that, she loved to hear him snore, she thought it was cute.

Her smile faded when for the millionth time that month, her mind wandered back to the life that would have been growing in her womb.

The stab of loss wasn't as painful as it was three weeks ago, but it was there.

She snuggled a little closer, knowing Angel's warmth helped chase away the chill of sadness.

His arms tightened around her as he slept, his body just reacting naturally to her needs.

She smiled again at that, at how supportive he'd been lately.

Sex had vanished from her mind completely since the loss, and not once had he pushed her for it. He never made her feel guilty or complained about the sudden celibacy. For a guy who had got some almost daily, he'd been very understanding of her need for some time.

She hated to admit, she never thought he'd be so nonchalant about it. Although he'd often nudge her towards making love in the past, he'd never pushed when she didn't actually want to. She liked to play the 'I'm going to say no, but I mean yes' game with him, and he seemed to know the difference between fake no and real no.

Not a trait all men shared.

Over the past few years, they'd spoiled each other in the love department, never really going more that a few days without rekindling the fire between them. The last time sex was sidelined was after the kid's births, but even then, major kissage and a little oral had played a hand or two.

Over the last month, they'd only shared chase kisses on cheeks or foreheads or temples. She suddenly couldn't remember the last time she'd kissed him on the lips.

They still loved one another, there was no questioning that. She just hadn't been able to bring herself to be intimate again.

As she laid still, her mind wandered other the details of their daily lives. They grieved over the past few weeks, letting their busy schedule between running a national demon fighting organization and raising a family distract them from their loss.

Angel had barely left her side the entire time, almost always keeping within visual contact with her if she needed him. It surprised her how the attention didn't bother her. She prided herself on being independent, but his concern touched her.

As often as she could, she'd sat out in the garden, looking down at the little stone that had replaced the scattered rocks and cross. A simple little rock with just one word on it, 'Ours', something most people seeing it wouldn't suspect it's true meaning.

They hadn't told anyone, mostly because they just didn't want to broach the subject. _'Hey how are you? Good. Me? Oh, you know, miscarriage. How far was I? 5 weeks. Oh, that's not so bad? At least I wasn't further? My kid is in a better place? F*ck you.'_

Nope, better to just keep it to themselves. It was simpler. A private matter...a family matter.

As she thought about the last few weeks, the practical daze she'd been living in, she realized she was only going though the motions again.

A part of her was gone, not dead, but dormant. Similar to when Angel's demon was suppressed and he'd lost his powers. She was still a slayer, but her heart had been out of the picture for almost a month now.

She missed that part of her, the fire.

Despite his lack of complaints, she knew Angel missed it too. She could see it in his eyes.

Now their life was stuck on a endless loop.

In the morning, they'd wake, take care of their children. Angel would take a shower, a cold one, as she'd feed the kids. He'd dress and entertain them as she got dressed. They'd go to work, save lives and defeat evil. Come home, one of them would cook, the other would do dishes. The nightly rituals for the kids would be performed, baths and bedtime stories. He'd read or draw before bed as she absently watched TV or flipped through a magazine. Afterwards he'd kiss her goodnight and the cycle would start again the next day.

She hated it.

On the other hand, as much as she wanted to fix the problem...she was scared to.

Making love got her pregnant. That pregnancy ended when her baby died in her womb. Simple enough, don't make love, don't get pregnant. Never feel this debilitating emptiness again.

Except even without lovemaking, she still felt empty inside.

She sighed in frustration.

Even at Katie's second birthday party, she'd just felt there...not part of the celebration, but like an accessory, like a chair or a picture on the wall. In the room but not really. Angel had done his best to cheer her up, but in the end it hadn't worked.

It's not to say she didn't enjoy watching her little girl turn two, she did, but ever since that dark April night she'd walked though her life wearing a wet blanket of depression. Everywhere she went, everything she did, that weight followed her, pressed on her, never relenting, never lifting.

It was like being torn from Heaven all over again.

Slowly, very slowly, if seemed like the weight was lessening, the soggy gloom evaporating over time. She was looking forward to being blanket free, to getting her life back to the way it was.

To actually being able to make love to her husband again.

Angel shifted slightly, nuzzling against her hair. "Try and sleep beloved." he mumbled sleepily into her ear, pressing a kiss to her temple.

"I will." she promised, pressing closer to him and snuggling deeper against his chest.

His arms tightened around her, holding her securely.

She listened as his heart rate slowed down in sleep, eventually falling to sleep to the sound.

Her heart was still torn, but the wounds were closing.

...

Author's Note: Yeah, not a happy chapter in my story, but I'm going for 'real' life issues for them as a couple too, not just demons and magic.

I've never been pregnant, so I've never lost a child, but I hope I didn't offend anyone who has.

I read a lot of stories online written by woman who went through a loss and that's where 90% of the story idea came from, real woman writing real feelings. I just borrowed some thoughts and added in Buffy and Angel.

Happier times will come, I promise.


	40. Portal

June 10, 2007

* * *

Angel grinned as he helped his daughter place the cookie dough on the cookie sheet. However, the two year old was more interested in using the unbaked dessert as play-dough than potential food.

"No sweetheart, it's not play-dough...they're cookies." He gently pried the mushed batter from her fingers.

"Cookies? Mushy cookies." She frowned.

"We need to cook them first, then they'll look and taste right." He explained.

"How long?" She wanted to know when she could eat the cookies, she liked those.

"Twenty minutes, 15 to bake, another 5 to cool." He reasoned.

She wrinkled her nose, just like her mom, "That's forever." She pouted, wanting cookies now.

He laughed, kissing her cheek. "It's not forever, but it will be if we don't get these in the oven."

Angel had just slid the tray into the oven when a loud whirling sound erupted from the living room.

"What the..." Angel muttered as he told Katie to stay put and quickly ran to investigate.

The little girl, scared of the noise, wrapped her arms around the table leg and hid where her father had told her to.

...

Angel was taken aback as his eyes registered the swirling blue lighted vortex that was an open portal suddenly materialized in the middle of his living room.

His heart clenched when he saw his wife dangerously close to it's center, and being sucked in.

"BUFFY!" Angel yelled, fear tearing through him like fire to dry wood. '_Not again, not again!_' his mind screamed, seeing a portal about to swallow not only his wife, but his son held in her arms. He couldn't lose another son to a portal, he couldn't…not again, not after Connor.

Angel ran full tilt to Buffy, reaching out for her to either pull her back, or join her if he couldn't stop the mystical gateway from stealing them from him.

As he reached out, Buffy turned towards him, fear for her son blazing in her eyes as her hand stretched out to Angel's. Even if she was drawn in, she couldn't allow Liam to be as well. The screaming one year old was terrified of the noise and the panic he sensed from his parents.

Just before Angel's hand could grab hers, a jolt of energy shot from the dimensional opening and struck the living vampire.

Buffy screamed her husband's name as his body jerked violently from the blast. Terror filling her as she literally saw his skeleton flashing beneath his skin as the energy electrocuted him. The last thing she saw before the doorway swallowed her was her husband's limp form dropping lifelessly to their living room floor.

"ANGEL!" She screamed again, but he couldn't hear her anymore.

…

"Dad? Mom?" Connor called from the kitchen having entered from the back door. "Anyone home?" He asked again, knowing from past experience to let his presence in the house be known before just walking in and seeing things no person should see their parents doing together when they don't know they aren't alone.

Almost immediately, black smoke caught his attention. Alarmed, he quickly rushed to the oven and shut it off, having smelled burning food. "Dad! Mom!" He yelled louder, knowing something wasn't right. Buffy and Angel never left the stove unattended.

Neither replied, but he heard crying coming from the living room. Quickly he passed through the kitchen and into the living room where shock stopped him in his tracks.

Scattered magazines, pictures and other light weight items were scattered around floor, some furniture was either knocked over or out of position as if a strong wind had rushed the room. The eye catching detail was his father's body lay motionless in the center of the room, his baby sister bawling over his still form.

"Oh my god." Connor whispered as his paralysis wore off and his protectiveness over his sibling took over. "Katie." He addressed, scooping the distressed two year old into his arms and kneeling beside his father. He knew Angel wasn't asleep, there was no way he'd sleep through Katie crying…none.

"Dad? Dad wake up." He tried shaking his father with a free hand despite knowing it wouldn't work. After a moment of denial, he slowly lifted his fingers to Angel's neck and felt for a pulse.

Connor nearly dropped Katie in relief when he felt it…and it was racing.

"Oh thank god." He whispered, holding his sister tightly.

"Daddy wake up!" She cried out for the hundredth time since seeing her daddy collapse. "Connor…make daddy wake up." She pleaded to her big brother, her big brown eyes the mirror of their father's.

A tear slipped down his cheek at his little sister's innocence.

"Dad needs to sleep a little longer, but he's going to wake up soon…I promise." He told the small female version of his dad in his arms. He prayed it wasn't a lie.

"Let's get you cleaned up, ok Kit-Kat?" He suggested, realizing she must have been 'alone' for hours by the way she was shaking and covered in tears.

"No! Daddy wake up!" She demanded, trying to crawl out of his arms and back onto Angel where she had stood guard for over an hour trying in vein to wake him.

Connor stood, taking a fussing Katie with him, and grabbing the phone he proceeded to call the gang in as he took care of his sister.

When the calls were made and Katie was calm...er…he went back into the living room and examined his father. Katie brooded as she sat on the couch where Connor placed her as he checked Angel for injuries.

Finding no physical trauma save for a healing burn on his chest, Connor spread a blanket over him and propped a pillow from the couch under his head to keep it off the hard wooden floor. He was worried about Angel's highly elevated heart rate but could find no source. Connor decided not to move his father in case there were any hidden injuries.

Sitting on the couch beside Katie and pulling her small form into his arms he began to gently ask her what happened, hoping the two year old could shed some light onto the mystery.

...

Giles arrived first, shortly followed by Xander then Willow and Oz. Dawn was out of town visiting a friend.

Connor explain a few of the details he'd managed to piece together from Katie's traumatic recount of events.

"Hmm." Giles removed his glasses and proceeded to clean the spotless lenses. "I'm not sure, a rumbling noise and light could mean a large number of possibilities. I'll need more information before I can began to research what occurred here."

"Do we know where Buffy is?" Xander asked, instantly on worry when Angel was down and Buffy wasn't hovering nearby.

Connor shook his head, "When I talked to my dad this morning he told me to come by, they'd be here."

Willow stepped forward, "Guys, I'm picking up on some major mystical leftovers, something big happened here, and not too long ago."

"You think something magical took Buff?" Xander asked.

"Yeah." Willow chimed in, "It's not very likely Buffy would have just waltzed out on her own with Angel hurt."

"Worse." Connor added, "I can't find Liam either."

Xander shook his head, "Not of the good."

Giles felt a pang of fear for his daughter and grandson, "If it took Buffy and Liam, why not Angel and Katie? Was she targeted directly I wonder, or perhaps by chance?"

"It was a portal." Angel muttered from the floor, sitting up and feeling the full weight of what was taken from him.

The group turned to see that he'd regained consciousness and was staring off at the wall, a lost look on his face.

"Dad?" Connor quickly went to his father's side, all of them eager to learn what happened and how to get Buffy and Liam returned.

As the young man knelt by his father, Angel laughed, a mad kind of sound.

"Again...god I can't believe it happened again." He shook his head, rising. "I thought it couldn't happen twice, never in a million years, but it did." He ranted to himself, beginning to rapidly pace. His body still racing from the shock, both of seeing his wife and child sucked into another dimension, and of being electrocuted.

"Dad?" Connor took a step back at the spark of rage and madness in his father's eyes. Angel's every muscle seemed to twitch with anger.

"No, no I'm not letting this happen again!" He raged to himself, fists curling tightly, itching to pulverize whomever did this to him again.

"Dad!" The young man grabbed his father's shoulder, snapping Angel out of his person internal battle.

Angel starred at his son a moment, memories rolling over his mind, stealing his strength. "I lost you to a portal." He said quietly, his voice hoarse. "I can't lose another son...not Liam...and not Buffy too...I can't Connor...I can't." Angel's shoulders slumped, the rage dispersing into a cold and empty feeling in his chest.

He couldn't feel Buffy.

Connor finally realized what made his father snap, he should have known his dad would have problems with portals with his history.

"We'll get them back." He urged to his father, pulling the man to the couch.

Angel was shaking, so many emotions assaulting his senses at once he couldn't decide which to focus on.

"I tried to get you back...failed...almost got the world destroyed." Angel muttered, the emptiness spreading.

Connor winced, his father never sounded so listless. It was like he already gave up hope. As if they were already dead.

Giles noticed the empty glaze in Angel's eyes and went outside where Oz was trying to keep Katie entertained and distracted from the obvious trauma she went through. So far, if wasn't really working. She ignored the sandbox, the ball, the bubbles and the other toys he'd tried.

All she did was cry silent tears.

"May I?" Giles asked, taking his granddaughter's hand.

Oz nodded, knowing he wasn't getting anywhere.

The older man led her back into the house.

When her sad eyes spotted her father awake, they brightened and she ran towards him. "Daddy!" she yelled, literally jumping into his arms.

Angel had sensed her a moment before, easily catching her and holding her as tight as he could. Until that moment, he'd honestly thought he'd lost her. She hadn't been in the room when he'd awoken and he thought the portal had stolen his little girl too.

"Shh, baby, shh." He soothed the balling two year old, running his hands down her shoulder length brown hair and down her back. "It's ok, Katie, we'll get them back...we'll get them back." He repeated, knowing he couldn't lie to her, he vowed he'd make every effort to keep his promise. His strength renewed as her little form crushed against him, pushing back against the emptiness and giving him a reason again to keep fighting.

"If Buffy was swallowed by a portal, she could literally be anywhere" Xander expressed, feeling at a loss of where to begin.

Angel stood, holding Katie and drawing strength from her. With the confidence returning he spoke, "Well then we better start looking."

...

Slowly Buffy woke, feeling sore and discombobulated.

"Uhh, what the hell? Angel?" she asked, finding her feet.

She opened her eyes and gasped, seeing a very unfamiliar red sky. "Oh...kay. Something tells me I'm not in Cleveland anymore..."

She heard a frightened scream off in the distance, a very well known scream. The kind of sound a mother knows from her child at birth.

"Liam!" She yelled back, remembering what happened and realizing her son was no longer safely tucked into her arms.

Before she even made the decision to do so, she was running in the direction of the cry.

Something large and demonic was trying to steal her son from her, and she wasn't going to just stand by and watch.

It took the baby-deprived-and-enraged-about-it slayer little time in catching up with the creature, and upon getting closer she realized it wasn't one large demon, but many smaller ones.

"I want my baby back." She threatened as she stood in front of the horde. '_Ok yeah, not my best line...but these freaks took my kid! Not really in the mood for witty commentary.'_

The demon holding a still screaming Liam melted into the crowd, the other demons hiding them.

"Fine, them I'll just go ahead and take him then." She said as she charged forward, starting to beat back the dog sized demons.

They were strange looking, almost a cross between a horned chameleon and a mangled flightless bird. The winged arms had feathers but didn't seem to work for flight. Their faces had varying numbers of horns, some had one others five or six. They had a bony-like frill on the backs of their skulls that ran down their entire length, ending in a long pointed tail. Each of the two hands had five clawed fingers and an opposable clawed thumb. They had the ability to walk almost human upright, or dog-like on all fours.

Buffy found out pretty quickly that inside those sharp beak-like mouths, were equally sharp teeth.

"Ow!" Buffy huffed out, kicking the demon that bit her leg in its face and crushing it's beak. The creature made a pathetic gurgle and fell back, red slitted eyes bulging in pain.

"Those were new pants!" She outraged, seeing the blood welling from the hole in her new jeans.

Many of the demons chose to move on all fours, making fighting with her arms difficult on account of how low to the ground her opponents were. '_Could really use a weapon right now.'_ She thought in annoyance, kicking more of the demons and back-flipping away from another attack.

Her eyes scanned the area for anything to use to beat the demons away, but her surrounding were wide flatland desert. Nothing, not a cactus, or road, not even a rock. Red sky shinned down over hard packed sandy ground was the only thing she saw besides the creatures she fought.

That gave her an idea.

She quickly grabbed one of the dead bodies and swung it like a club, knocking back several of the ridiculous looking things away from her.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she noticed movement. When it was safe to do so, she turned and saw a small group of the demons trying to flee with her son.

"I don't think so." She spat, using the body like a bat to make a path to the retreating forms.

Yelps and grunts were the only sounds as she rained death upon the creatures.

When the ones surrounding her were dead, upwards of twenty, she hurried after the remaining five that had her child. The small bleeding wounds in her legs hardly noticed as she ran.

...

Angel was pacing again.

Katie was dozing against his chest, having fallen asleep on him. He'd tried to put her down, but she'd woke and screamed for him. Figuring it was easier for all of them he just held her as she slept.

"Anything?" Angel asked, pausing his wearing a hole in the floor to look over at Willow as she worked to trace the portal energy.

"Not in the two minutes since you last asked, no." she replied, a little annoyed but understanding why Angel was so tense.

He looked down dishearten, realizing he wasn't helping but only slowing her down by asking so often.

He resumed pacing again.

"Angel man, you're making me dizzy." Xander commented from the chair he sat in, an old book open in his lap. Researching for any info on portals for lack of anything better to do.

Giles nodded, looking up from his book. "Yes, please so sit down. I fear the floor wont survive your pacing much longer."

"Can't." Angel muttered, his body too tense to sit idle.

Connor walked up and grabbed Angel's shoulder, feeling the tense muscles still twitching underneath. "Gees dad, you're wound tighter than a piano string."

"My wife and son were sucked to hell knows where and we have no leads! Yes I'm tense!" Angel snapped, breaking contact as he resumed pacing.

Katie woke at the outburst, looking up at her father with her eyes big and wide. "Daddy?"

His anger receded a little, "I'm sorry sweetheart, I didn't mean to startle you." He apologized, kissing her forehead.

She looked to Connor and Angel followed her gaze. Her saw the worry in his son's eyes too.

The living vampire let out a deep breath, "I'm sorry." He told the others in the room. "I..I'm...I don't know. I feel...overcharged...but I have no way to release that energy...it's driving me crazy...just standing here while Buffy's going through who knows what." He admitted, trying not to resume pacing.

"Energy?" Willow asked, looking interested.

"You had a burn on your chest, how did it happen?" Connor asked, sensing this could get them somewhere.

"When I reached for Buffy, a lightning bolt struck me...electrocuted me...knocked me out." Angel explained.

Willow hurried over, "May I?" she asked, holding her hands out.

Katie fussed when Angel handed her over to Connor, but she settled as she watched her aunt's hands move over her fathers chest. Her palm glowed slightly, working almost like a Geiger Counter when sensing radiation, except she was picking up on the energy the portal infused into Angel.

"I might be able to use this energy to reopen the portal." Willow smiled, excited to have a lead. "The energy will act like a fingerprint, identifying where it was opened to, like tracing back a phone call. I need to check the ingredients for the spell, but I should be able to do this within an hour or so."

Angel felt a small crack of relief in his tense anger. He nodded, "As soon as you can Willow, bring them home."

She nodded and grabbed Oz, rushing off to get the book she needed from home and stop at the magic store for the ingredients.

...

It was taking longer than Buffy expected to catch up the the demons, with so few left they moved much quicker than before.

Liam cried out again in the near distance, fueling Buffy's furiously pumping legs to move faster.

...

The demon holding the struggling nearly one and a half year old halted as Liam socked it in its eye with one clenched chubby fist.

It squawked out a howl and dropped the tot.

Liam's diapered bottom hit the ground and he quickly began crawling away towards where he could feel his mother.

He didn't get the chance to stand and run as the demons hissed in frustration and grabbed for him. As one picked him back up, he protested loudly and sank his 12 teeth into the demon's arm.

The creature growled and pulled back, but Liam refused to let go, biting harder.

"Get that dirty thing out of your mouth!" Buffy yelled as she stomped the demon her son was biting.

Liam's distraction had allowed Buffy time to catch-up and she was very pissed by now.

The four remaining demons died very quick deaths as the raging mother defended her baby.

Once the creatures were disposed of, Liam stood at his mother's leg and lifted his arms. "Mama!"

She quickly swept him up, kissing him all over and checking him for injuries. "Oh baby are you ok? Did those nasty things hurt you?"

Liam shook his head and wrapped his arms tightly around Buffy's neck. She held him tight and rubbed his back, satisfied there wasn't a scratch on him.

"That's my brave little man." she praised, "But don't you dare put a demon in your moth again, do you understand me?" She chastised, afraid he'd get sick or a demon disease.

"Yucky." he repeated his sister's favorite word for over a month.

Buffy nodded and kiss his cheek. "Yes honey, very, very yucky."

Now that the danger was passed and she was once again alone with her son, Buffy looked around at the barren landscape. There was nothing to distinguish one direction from the next. There was no discernible sun in the sky, no clouds, no nothing, not even mountains along the horizon line.

"Ok, now we just need to figure out how to get home." Buffy sighed, randomly picking a direction and started walking.

"Mama. Food?" Liam asked, feeling thirsty and hungry.

Buffy cringed, seeing nothing even remotely edible and having nothing on her to offer her son. She had weened him months ago and was certain she had no milk left in her breasts by now.

'_Damn Angel in passing on his bottomless appetite to Liam._' She thought briefly. "I don't have anything to give you honey, try to sleep for mommy ok?"

With so much excitement so far that day and missing his afternoon nap, Liam lowered his tired head to Buffy's shoulder and shut his eyes.

She gentry rocked her son to sleep as she walked, looking desperately for anything in the vast nothingness.

...

Willow and Oz returned to the house thirty minutes later. Oz walked through the front door carrying a bag of spell items and Willow followed nose buried in a book behind him.

"Ok...not of the good." Willow cringed, looking up from the book and at Angel who was walking hopefully towards her.

"What?" Angel's feeling of hope withered at Willow's downcast green eyes.

"This spell...there's a chance it...could..." she finished very quickly, "...kill you in the process."

Angel sighed, "What else is new?"

He looked down the the little girl clinging to his neck. "Katie baby, I need you to go with uncle Xander for a little while." He suggested, trying to pry her loose so they could start the spell.

"No!" She denied, holding tighter. "Stay with daddy!"

"I know you want to stay princess, but daddy needs to help aunty Willow bring mommy and Liam home. If you stay, you could get an ouch. I don't want you to get and ouch, ok baby. I need to be brave for me, can you be brave for me?" He coaxed his daughter.

"Daddy get ouch?" She asked, too wise for her so few years.

He sighed, "Not if I can help it." He mostly told the truth. If opening the portal killed him it wasn't because he _tired_ to get hurt. He couldn't not try though, he'd rather fail than never know if he could have saved them. Of course the idea he could be killed and fail returning Buffy crossed his mind, leaving Katie an orphan. "I love you baby girl, but I have to help mom and Liam. Be brave for me." He repeated, kissing her cheek.

She pouted as he handed her to Xander.

"If something happened to me..." Angel began but Xander cut him off. "She'll know nothing but love and happiness." He promised, understanding Angel was asking for the gang to take care of her if he died and Buffy didn't make it back.

She reached for her dad as he reluctantly moved away, then buried her face into her uncle's neck, having a tantrum as he brought her to the relative safely outside the house. Xander gasped but held his ground as Katie kicked him in the ribs as she squirmed. "Oh you just had to get your mother's kicking abilities didn't you?" He grumbled, moving away from the house and well into the backyard.

...

Buffy felt like she'd walked for hours, it was hard to tell the passage of time since the sky hadn't changed nor had the scenery. Every step felt like the same step, over and over. She felt she'd gone nowhere.

Liam was fussing in her arms, cranky from hunger and a uncomfortably wet diaper.

"I'm sorry honey, I wish I had something for you." She soothed while rubbing his back.

She felt like crap for being so helpless for him right now. Fighting baby-snatching demons she could handle, making food and diapers appear out of nothing...that she couldn't do.

"Home." Liam whined, wanting to be back in his room, or in the kitchen eating mac and cheese with his daddy and sister.

"Me too baby. I want to go home too." Buffy replied, feeling lightheaded from the constant red glare of the sky.

_'Angel, I really hope you guys are working on getting us home._' she thought to herself. Equally praying the last image she had on her husband being electrocuted didn't mean he was dead.

...

Giles and Oz worked quickly to move the remaining furniture against the walls to open a wider space for the spell.

Willow was drawing a large circle and adding symbols to the floor in chalk while Angel memorized the incantation he needed to say for which the part of the spell.

When the candles were lit and the incense was burning, Willow took the book from Angel and had him stand in his spot just beside the circle.

"Ok, can you guys wait outside?" Willow asked the three men remaining in the room.

Oz looked his fiance up and down, "Remember we're getting married here next week. I'll need my fiance and best man for that to happen."

She smiled at him, "And you know I can't get married without my maid of honor and ring-barer."

"Kiss for luck?" He suggested with a slight almost recognizable grin.

"Yes please." She leaned in for it, kissing him deeply.

When the couple parted, they held hands a moment, squeezing for strength and love. Oz slowly moved back, mouthing 'Love you.'

She mouthed it back as he turned to go outside. It didn't show on his face, but worry was there in his heart, both for his wife-to-be and best friend.

Giles nodded reassuringly to Angel and Willow and headed out the door, having faith in their abilities.

Connor didn't move.

"Connor." Angel stated, giving him son a stern look.

"I'm staying." He replied with a sterner look.

"No, your not." The living vampire urged. "I lost you to a portal once, you're not being in the same room as I open another. Get out." Angel urged from stress and fear.

Connor was about to argue, but he saw the sheen of determination and the underling fear for his safety in his father's eyes.

"Ok, but I'm coming back the second the portal closes." He stated.

He hugged his dad quickly, knowing time was running out to start the spell before the energy Angel absorbed dissipated.

Once Connor was out, Angel turned to Willow. "Let's do this."

The redhead nodded and picked up her book. "Ok, the spell should draw the energy from you and into the center of the circle. The symbols will keep the portal from escaping or letting anything non-human though. It might hurt a little as the energy is drawn out, you might even feel weak..."

Angel nodded, "Bring them back Willow, that's your goal. Make sure they make it. " Her eyes widened at his bluntness, but she nodded, knowing he meant to bring them back or die trying.

She took a deep calming breath, letting the magic flow into her. "Relax your body, the spell needed to access your energy."

Angel did as best as he could under the circumstances and Willow's voice began to echo in the room, the power in her words flowing from the candle light and slowly spinning, mixing with the smoke from the incense.

His words joined hers, only for a few stanzas but the effect was immediate with the power increase in the room.

Her voice deepened as the spell took form, a snake of smoke hissed to life in the air. It's black lifeless eyes glanced around and focused on Angel, on the portal's energy flowing within him. In an instant the snake streaked across the air and swirled above the living vampire, it's smoky tongue flicked as it smelt for the power. Finding the source, it opened it fanged mouth and but deeply into Angel's shoulder.

Angel's eyes popped open as pain washed through his left shoulder. He groaned but clamped his mouth shut, determined not to ruin the spell and let what needed to happen run its course. Pain meant nothing as long as it got his wife and son back to him.

Willow's eyes were shut as she chanted, the power being channeled by the smoke snake funneling into the the circle, a spark of blue forming as the portal energy swirled together, fighting to open.

The witch's green eyes opened as she focused on the portal, her gut clenching when she realized enough energy wasn't making it in, it wouldn't work unless she upped the power.

Angel was gritting his teeth, the pain flaming in his shoulder as if it were on fire.

The Wicca felt a pang of guilt as she repeated the spell, louder, strengthening it, doubling it. She winced as Angel cried out, a second snake formed in the air had bitten his other shoulder, pulling more energy from him.

The portal grew larger as if fed from the energy, but it needed more.

The snakes bit deeper, drawing more power from Angel.

The living vampire felt his strength wavering as the pain rushed over him, it felt like his body was being engulfed in flames.

"In the name of the Goddess, I command you to open!" Willow's voice shouted in Latin, the roar of the growing portal blocking out Angel's growls of pain.

"Open!" She repeated, yelling into the vortex.

"Open!" she commanded one final time. The power surged from her voice, the snakes hissed as they collapsed and a beam shot from the center of the swirling doorway directly into Angel.

He screamed as the portal erupted to life, the energy being ripped from his body.

...

Buffy felt like falling to her knees, her head was spinning and her mouth tasted like sand.

Liam was silent and still in her arms, had been for over an hour now. At least she thought it was an hour, she couldn't tell anymore. She felt like she'd been walking for a week.

she wanted to tell her son everything would be alright, but her mouth was too dry to open, her voice too cracked for words.

Suddenly a swirling blue doorway thundered into existing in front of her.

She stepped back quickly, almost falling.

The dust from the sandy ground swirled, stinging her eyes and skin.

She wrapped her arms protectively over her son to shield him the best she could.

Her mind was confused, dizzy and tired. She didn't know the bites from the demons left a type of poison in her blood, not enough to kill, but to disorientate.

Something drew her forwards, a pull, a connection.

_'Angel'_

She fought for consciousness as the portal sucked her in, then vanished like it had never been there.

...

Buffy hit the ground hard, except it wasn't ground, but hardwood. She looked up quickly, rolling to avoid squishing her son in her arms and looked around. The adrenalin rush fueling her slayer instincts focused on the swirling doorway, then suddenly it was gone.

Her eyes next focused on Angel, his face drawn and pale, his body shaking and sweaty from pain. Blood was running down his shoulders.

"Buffy!" Willow's tired voice cheered from beside her.

She turned to see Willow dropped exhausted to her knees.

Her eyes turned again to her husband, just in time to watch him drop face first to the floor.

Willow caught her gaze and gasped when Angel collapsed. _'oh god, I killed him!'_ she panicked, crawling over as fast as she could.

Buffy stumbled to her fallen husband, panic pushing her forwards.

"Dad!" Connor's voice shouted as he rushed into the room, seeing his father fall.

Buffy dropped beside Angel, but was too exhausted to roll him over.

She wanted to call his name, check for a pulse, but her hands were too heavy. She looked down and realized Liam wasn't in her arms. _'No! Did I drop him? Is he still trapped in that world? My baby, where is my baby?'_

Her mind screamed, but her body lost consciousness.

...

Slowly Buffy awoke, eyes focusing on the familiar black ceiling fan that lived above her bed. "Buffy?" a voice called beside her.

She turned her head and saw Giles worried eyes watching her. "Buffy? Can you hear me? Are you alright?"

"Liam?" The first word from her dry lips, eyes begging for information.

"Was a little dehydrated and in desperate need of a diaper change, but is perfectly fine now. Connor fed him and is currently struggling to give the boy a bath without getting one himself." He reassured.

Relief washed over her, at least half of her worry eased. "Angel?" she forced out, remembering seeing him collapse.

Giles nodded for her to turn.

Looking on the bed beside her she found her husband stretched out, pale but breathing.

The rest of her worry dissipated as she reached her hand out and layed it over his heart, feeling the steady beat beneath.

It looked like he'd had bandages on his shoulders earlier, but the 'wounds' were mostly healed already, nothing but red mars on his skin.

Giles gave her a moment to assure herself Angel was ok, then handed her a glass of water with she greedily downed.

"What happened?" She asked sitting up and leaning against a pillow, voice sounding a little less raspy.

"We're not sure who or why yet, but someone opened a portal in your living room with what we assume was the intention to get rid of you." He explained briefly the events that transpired while they worked to find her and about the spell Willow and Angel performed to re-open the doorway.

"He did what?" Buffy turned and looked angrily at her husband, furious he could have killed himself to reopen the portal.

"I fear if he didn't, we'd still be looking for a way to re-open it...and you may very well not have survived until then." Giles pointed out.

"Huh? Why not?" she asked, confused.

"Buffy, the bites wounds you received to your legs were swollen and infected. We soon discovered a low grade toxin in your system. Without treatment to disinfect the wounds, they could have become fatal." Her watcher explained. "Not to mention it seemed time moved faster in the other dimension, by my calculations you were without food, or more importantly, water for almost an entire day."

"Oh." She replied, a little shocked as she glanced under the sheet to the bandages on her legs. "But I'm ok now? And Liam is too?" she asked.

"Only because I'm so great at my job." Cassidy boasted with a sly grin as she walked into the room.

Buffy rolled her eyes at the red haired MD, "Making house calls now Cass?"

"Only for my two favorite patients." She grinned, then proceeded to check the wounds.

"Will I live?" Buffy asked sarcastically.

"Depends." Cass replied, "As long as you don't get bitten by twenty or thirty more of those things...you should be golden." She turned to Giles, "I told you, the 'poison' causes disorientation and eventually unconsciousness, not fatality...especially not for a slayer. Death by dehydration...yeah that could have happened, but not by poison."

Buffy eyes suddenly widened, "Liam!"

"He'd fine, I told you that..." Giles tried to explain again.

"No, he bit one of those demons, could he have been poisoned?" Buffy panicked for her son.

"A demon bit him?" Cass asked not remembering seeing a bite on him anywhere.

"No, he bit the demon." Buffy reiterated.

"Liam bit a demon?" Cass grinned, "More like his dad every day." she joked.

Buffy scowled, "Cass!" She demanded, worried about Liam.

"Heard that." Angel grumbled, waking up.

"Relax Buffy, the toxin would be in the demon's teeth and mouth, it wouldn't transfer via skin or blood." Cassidy assured.

"Wait, Liam bit a demon?" Angel asked groggily, sitting up.

Buffy put her hand on his chest and pushed him back down, worried he shouldn't be moving after what he went though. "Stay put."

Cass looked over at Angel, "Headache any better?"

"I told you not to drug me." Angel grumbled, taking Buffy's hand off his chest so he could sit up without restraint.

The blond looked confused, "She drugged you?" She glanced at Cass.

"I woke up before you, had one hell of a migraine, but I wanted to make sure you and the kids were ok. Someone decided to add a little something to my water" Angel narrowed his eyes at the doctor.

Cassidy shrugged, "Health before happiness, besides it was just a relaxant, you fell asleep on your own."

Angel shook his head, "You keep drugging me, we're going to have a problem." He growled rather loudly.

Cass quickly left the room.

"Was that necessary?" Buffy questioned him, sending him a dry look.

"No." Angel replied, "But it's fun to see her flinch." he grinned.

Buffy shook her head at her husband and asked her father."Where's Katie?"

"Driving Xander to insanity I assume." Giles replied, happy to see his daughter and son-in-law were recovering nicely.

"Pretty sure he doesn't need to be driven there, he owns property." Angel muttered.

Buffy made to get up, but Angel wrapped and arm around her waist and held her in place. "Whoa, where do you think you're going."

"To see my kids." she stated, trying to pry Angel's hand from her waist.

"Yeah, no." He told her, "That toxin takes at least two days to work out of the system. You're not leaving this bed until then."

She turned to glare at him, "Oh really?" She asked, in a very if-you-don't-let-go-you're-so-getting-your-ass-kicked tone.

"Really." he counter is his best, go-ahead-and-see-if-I'm-kidding voice.

The couple stared one another down for a moment before Buffy folded her arms across her chest. "I hate being hurt."

"Want me to wear a little nurse outfit like you do for me sometimes?" He asked into her ear.

He wasn't that quiet and instantly Giles went beat red, "Yes, well uhh...I'll be off now. So glad you two are well again. Bye." And he disappeared from the room as if there was a fire.

"You did that on purpose." she accused to her husband. She really tried hard to to laugh.

"Maybe." He smirked and kissed her temple. "But seriously Beloved, please stay in bed, rest, give your body time to purge the toxin."

She leaned against him, "Fine, but only because you said please." Honestly, she felt like she could lay down and sleep for a month.

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Thank you." After a pause, "Want me to get the kids?"

"Yes please." She agreed, eager to be reunited with her children.

He nodded and slipped from the bed, "Back in a few."

...

While Willow was napping on the couch after such a demanding spell, Oz and Xander were trying to get Katie to stop crying for the hundredth time out in the backyard. The kid had a tear duct supply that could fill the ocean.

Angel walked barefoot out into the sunlight, always enjoying an excuse to feel the warm tingles on his skin and headed for the duo watching his daughter.

Xander looked past the bawling toddler that sat facing him and up to Angel has he walked up behind Katie. "Oh thank the gods! Any gods! Just make the tears stop, I can't handle it anymore!" The dark haired man begged, both he and Oz at their wits end, only Xander the more vocal about it.

The living vampire shook his head and rolled his eyes, scooping his daughter up from behind. "You trying to drown your uncles in tears sweetheart?"

"Daddy!" She squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face into his tank top.

"Hey, no strangling." He grinned, prying her arms loose. He didn't need his two year old cutting off the flow of blood to his brain. "Want to see mommy?" He asked, giving her reassurance everything was ok.

She nodded eagerly.

"Ok, lets go." He grinned at her, kissing her cheeks.

He nodded his thanks to the two men and headed inside.

Heading back upstairs, Angel paused at the doorway to the bathroom as Connor exited with Liam wrapped in a towel.

Liam practically jumped out of his brother's arms to his father. "Hey buddy, you trying to drown you're brother?" Angel asked his youngest, seeing how soggy his oldest looked.

"Funny." Connor scowled.

'_Between baths and tears, my kids sure do love to try and drown people...little monesters._' he though bemused.

"Thank you." Angel stated to his adult son for helping take care of his siblings.

Connor shrugged, "That's what family is for." He didn't mind, he liked taking care of his siblings, they were his only family.

Angel nodded, "Yeah, it is." He would have hugged Connor, but his arms were occupied with his two youngest. "Go put some dry clothes on before you catch a cold." he joked to his eldest boy, seeing the drenched shirt.

"I don't have any here." He countered, patting at his wet clothes with a equally wet towel.

"Borrow something of mine." Angel insisted, bringing Liam into his room to get him dressed before going back to Buffy.

A few minutes later Angel re-entered the bedroom with two happy toddlers running between his legs towards the bed with their mother.

"Mommy!" They chorused, Angel helping them both onto the rather high bed.

Buffy opened her arms and captured her children, kissing them and not letting go. "I missed you so much." She repeated to Katie, and "I'm so glad you're ok." to Liam.

Angel slid in next to them, taking a mental picture at the happy sight.

...

For the rest of the day Buffy lounged in bed to rest and recover, Angel and the kids needing to be close after what could have happened today.

Angel didn't leave her side except to bring back food and to tend to the needs of their children.

Later that night, after everyone said goodbye and the gang left, they settled down next to one another. Liam was passed out on Angel's left shoulder while Katie was out cold on Buffy's right. She pillowed her head on her husband's free shoulder, glad for the closeness of her family.

Angel's free arm wrapped around his wife, keeping her close, needing to feel her there with him, alive and well. Not lost to some alternate world, not lost to him.

It wasn't long before the soothing rhythm of heartbeats lulled Angel to sleep.

Buffy stayed awake a little longer, savoring the moment. It wasn't often the kids slept with them, at least not without Katie having a nightmare first or Liam being scared during a thunderstorm. She was enjoying it, loving the feel of life around her.

For the last few months she'd felt empty inside, the pain of her miscarriage still following her. But tonight, with her daughter, son and husband surrounding her, she felt the pain recede.

For the first night in a long time, she slept soundly.

...

The next few days brought them back to their usual routine, the kids were taken care of, the world was saved from a few more evil baddies, life was good.

Except when it wasn't.

Buffy looked over at Angel as he slept. He'd been working hard at planning Oz's bachelor party, getting the suits ordered and the arrangements made. She'd been doing the same for Willow's bachelorette party, arranging for the flowers and taking calls from the guests. Thus is the burden of the best man and maid of honor.

That left little time for them to just talk to each other.

She still was having intimacy issues, the idea of conceiving again actually scared her.

She hated that. She loved her husband, she loved her children, she wasn't afraid of anything.

Except sex.

'_What the hell is wrong with me?"_ She thought frustrated, wanting to be with her lover but at the same time, not. She had assumed the lack of sex drive would have gone away by now. She knew she'd never forget the life she lost, but she figured her feelings would have returned to normal by now. Time heals all wounds…so they say anyways.

_'Sex doesn't mean a baby; we can still make love to one another without getting me pregnant.'_ She tried to reason to her stubborn mind. She could love her husband without fear of losing another child. The rationality in that sentence didn't seem to even dent her irrational fears. Her body remained closed off.

She knew Angel was getting antsy about the lack of loving, he'd tried to hide it, but she knew him too well. She'd spoiled him over the last few years, now his suddenly being abstinent was taking its toll, mentally and physically.

_'This is unfair to him_.' She thought depressed, _'He hasn't even taken a hot shower since __April__._' She knew he'd only taken cold showers recently from the extremely short water bill and the lack of steam on the mirrors in the bathroom when he was finished, which was also in record time.

It bothered her that not only was her body suffering from intimacy issues, but her problems were directly hurting her husband too. She didn't want to deny him love; they'd both spent far too much time in their lives doing that in the past.

_'Maybe I can alleviate some of the pressure off him_.' She wondered, eying the sheet covering his lower body. _'Just give him a little pick me up.'_

Her hand slipped under the silky red sheet, finding its way into his dark blue boxers and quickly locating what she was searching for.

Angel moaned in his sleep as her fingers worked, knowing where and what drove him crazy.

"What are you doing?" He mumbled groggily as he suddenly awoke, while quickly pulling her exploring hand out of his boxers.

Her cheeks reddened at his rejection, she'd thought he be happy, not confused and a little mad. "What does it feel like I was doing?" She countered with a grin, trying to move her hand back to his groin.

His hand refused to let hers go.

He didn't understand the situation; he couldn't smell arousal on her anywhere. None. _'What the heck is she thinking? Why get me aroused if she's not interested in making love? Is this some sort of cruel joke? Or does she think I'm actually interested in getting a sympathy hand job?_'

"To be honest, I don't have a clue what you're trying to do right now, but I can assure you, I'm not interested." He told her, sitting up.

She sat up and gaped at him, "Excuse me? You're not interested in me now? What am I suddenly not your type?" She snapped angrily, insulted at the accusation.

He shook his head, "What? No, that's not what I meant."

"Then what?" She demanded.

"I'm not interested in getting a sympathy f*ck from you." He almost yelled, but kept his tone level and even.

"A what? I wasn't…what the hell is that?" She asked, angry.

"When you have sex with someone just to cheer them up. It comes with no strings attached or emotional investment." he explained.

She look flustered, "That's not true!" she shot back, knowing he was right but not wanting to admit it. She did love him, she did feel for him…but she wasn't feeling the passion she knew she once had. She'd looked at him and seen a job, a responsibility to be a good wife and make her husband happy.

That wasn't what he wanted from her. It wasn't what she wanted for him.

He shook his head and pulled her against him, her back flush against his chest. He leaned down and kissed up her neck, trying to sense for her love.

The closeness and the tightness of his arms around her, the feel of his lips on her scar sent a bolt of action to her slayer instincts to escape. As a reflux, her arms pushed at him, trying to shove him away, an auto defense, her body's reaction from his touch, the threat of intimacy from his gestures.

His arms tightened, "You're fighting me...that's a pretty clear sign you're not ready for intimacy yet Buffy." He pulled back a little, looking into her eyes and she shifted from his grasp. "You know I'd never do anything to you without your permission, I'd never try to take anything you weren't willing to offer."

She paused in her retreat, taking a breath and reeling in her fight or flight reflex. She was furious with herself for acting that way towards her husband of all people. He had her trust completely and her body was currently acting like he was a…a rapist.

"I know." She whispered back, relaxing into his embrace. "It's just...I know how much this is bothering you too...I just wanted to make you happy again." She admitted.

He sighed and kissed her neck again, "I am happy, you make me happy. I love you Buffy, and I very much want to make love to you again, but not like this. I don't want meaningless sex acts from you. I have no desire to make love to you if you're heart isn't in it. I'm spoiled, I can't just have your body, or a piece of you...I'm greedy, I want all of you. Mind, body and soul. I need you to _want_ to be with me; otherwise, what's the point?"

She looked down, wishing her body would react the way her mind was right now. "I love you so much right now." she told him, turning to look into his eyes, "I wish I could show you."

He grinned a little at that. "You do, you might not feel like you're showing me, but you are, I promise. When you're ready, we can show each other like we used to, but until then, I'm a patient man remember, I can wait."

She sighed, looking down. "You shouldn't have to wait."

"Let's just worry about what's best for you right now, ok?" He asked, kissing her forehead.

She nodded against him as he pulled her back down.

He ran his fingers through her hair, loving the feel of the silky soft threads. "Sleep Beloved, we have a long day tomorrow."

She snuggled in against his shoulder and did just that.


	41. The Bachelor Party, Round 2

June 15, 2007

The Bachelor Party, Round 2

…

Angel wasn't feeling right, no that wasn't exactly true. What he was feeling couldn't really be classified as wrong, but something he hadn't felt in a long while. Not since his evil days, or more recently since his first real fight with Buffy, when she'd denied him when he'd remarked her.

He felt like snapping someone's neck.

That had been a common feeling while being a soulless demon, he'd practically gotten off at the sound a neck makes when you twist it just right, like how Jenny's neck had snapped under his fingers that night in the school all those years ago.

Yeah, some would classify that feeling as indeed wrong, but Angelus didn't. And that was what Angel was feeling right now, very Angelus.

His demon side and his soul may exist together now, but his soul didn't have 'sole' rights to his mind, dark thoughts did occur, fairly often even. However most of those dark thoughts usually got worked out though other channels than violence.

He'd work the gym hard, let his muscles feel the burn of exertion, help run down that rage that resulted from not being able to satisfy the evil in him.

He'd train hard, push the trainee slayers into being what they needed to be to survive.

He'd stalk demons, slay vampires, and hunt down the evil in the world.

Fighting released a good deal of pent up anger, but fighting mad could be dangerous. It could fuel your strength and give you focus…or it could be the exact opposite, distract you into a fatal error.

So mostly he'd make love to his wife.

Angelus was a highly sexual creature; there was never a doubt about that. He was fueled by passion. A passion that only really had two outlets in him; violence or sex.

He was never really one to mix the two. He'd preferred to seduce potential lovers, talk them into doing what he'd wanted as opposed to brute force. Not that he'd never out right raped someone as a demon, but he did find greater satisfaction in messing with their heads enough to make them a willing participant in his desires.

It was the emotional damage he'd always preferred, ruining someone from the inside out, molding people to his will, breaking down their minds so he could rebuild them to his liking.

He didn't force anything on Buffy. That was one of the things he'd been attracted to her for, her own strength and power. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally.

He couldn't break her…he found that highly intoxicating.

She had fire in her eyes, and he was drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

Her fire didn't burn him, but he was engulfed by her. She acted as his own personal brand of accelerant, fueling his passion to limits previously unknown even to him.

That's why he'd hated her so much the first time he'd lost his soul. With a soul, that passion for violence and sex had been transformed into a passion for redemption and love. Love wasn't sex, it was more powerful than straight lust and it was all consuming, it nearly ate him alive.

No demon wanted that in their heads.

It was different now, he had a soul, but he had a demon too. He knew there was anger in him, that his evil side would always be present inside. He accepted it, he was Angelus, and there was no shame in it to him. However he was Angel also, that meant there was good in him too. Keeping a balance of good and evil inside one's self wasn't an issue with him, he accepted it. There were still conflictions within him, but when it came to his passions, Buffy owned every shred of it.

The demon within him, the man within him, Buffy kept both parts of him well satisfied, the passion that consumed him was directed to loving her completely.

Except when the passion runs dry.

It had been month since he'd last made love to Buffy. He knew she needed time, he wanted to give it to her, he really did.

But it was killing him.

Not literally, he wouldn't actually die, but he felt that balance in him shifting.

The weak love she gave him recently wasn't satisfying the depth of his passion.

He knew she loved him, but she'd been unable to show it lately. Not just in sex, but emotionally too.

Somehow a dam got built between them; love still trickled out through the floodgates, but not enough.

He was cut off from the main flow and slowly starving for her, like a vast river ebbing into a tiny stream.

That fire he craved so much was burning so low in her eyes he had to squint to see it. The cold around him was barely being chased away and he had to huddle closer to feel any heat at all.

He didn't care for the cold anymore, he'd known the warmth from her fire, and he needed it now. Like a junkie, he was addicted to her.

As he sat on the chair next to Oz he felt like a junkie in need of his fix.

He felt the cold encroaching on his limbs.

He felt like snapping someone neck in frustration.

"Angel? You ok man? Been quieter than me all night." Oz asked his best man.

The guys were seated around a few tables in the local bar, Sal's Place, and feeling pretty good. Oz was actually almost grinning; some of his old pals from Dingoes Ate by Baby had shown up, along with a few more recent buddies. Xander and Spike had joined in too. That brought the total to nearly 15 people, which was pretty impressive given the usual 5 or 6 regulars like for Angel's bachelor party.

Giles had volunteered for babysitting duty so Buffy and Angel could go the bachelor/bachelorette parties. That and he wasn't really feeling up to another night in a bar surrounded by men half his age gawking at scantily clad woman. Not that he was old, but he greatly enjoying being a grandpa. Spending time with his grandchildren was an entirely soothing experience to the years of fighting demons and researching monsters and evil. With the little ones, he felt younger, more like a man as apposed to a watcher. He felt as all the years of sacrificing his happiness for the fate of the world, the years spent training and supporting Buffy as opposed to finding a wife and starting a family, were all worth those two little smiling faces. It was times with them he realized he hadn't lost out on having a family at all; he'd made one stronger and deeper than straight blood alone could ever have given him. He wouldn't change it for the world.

Back at the bar, the night was young and the festivities would soon begin, meaning a stripper would find her way onto the small stage within the next 10 minutes or so.

They were the only large party in the fairly small establishment, but far from the only ones there. It was a Friday night, and word of a stag party brought in more than a few looking to see a little 'beautiful and bare' dancing on stage.

Oz sat in the middle of the tables the guys gathered around, his best man, Angel, sitting by his side. They both had untouched glasses of tap beer foaming in front of them, neither yet willing to break the seal for the night.

Angel really wanted to down his drink, maybe ask for a bottle or two of Jameson, but refrained. He remembered the last time he got drunk, his bachelor party…it brought out his darker side. Not that Angelus was trapped inside, he was Angelus…but alcohol would loosen the weak grasp he still held on his anger. No one needed that right now.

When a leggy brunette sauntered her way from behind the curtain to the pole set up in the center of the small stage normally reserved for karaoke, the nearly all male crowd went wild.

Xander's eyes bulged in his head, "Whoa." He whispered, taking in the very shapely curves and well proportioned measurements.

"I hear that." Angel muttered back, also finding himself unable to not stare. A few months of getting nothing but sleep in the bedroom made his brain and body very hyperaware of the beauty gyrating her nearly bare hips on stage.

Passion was a bitch.

"What?" Oz asked, looking around.

Angel abruptly turned his gaze away from the woman, his brown eyes focusing on the beer waiting at his hands. "She's…good." He muttered, trying not to turn back around and watch….and failing miserably by watching her reflection in the mirror.

However, in his head, Angel wasn't seeing a shapely brunette with deep brown eyes and mocha skin dancing on stage; he was picturing a beautiful blond with hazel green eyes and soft silky suntanned California skin. Oh how he wanted to see Buffy performing that show for him, a private session for his eyes only.

Minus the meek coverings the woman wore.

He quickly turned from the mirror took a few large gulps of his beer, pushing the thoughts aside. He knew Buffy wasn't ready for that yet, and boy was that hitting his libido like a fist to a punching bag.

Thus, it was killing him. He wanted her, he wanted his wife something fierce, and she didn't want him back.

That hurt…a lot.

He'd tried to satisfy his own urges, and quickly found the act too empty to do anything for him. Buffy had spoiled him too much. He needed her love, not just her body…but her _love_, her passion, her fire.

He'd been cut off for months now, he was cold, he was edgy, he was undersexed and mad and tense as all hell about it.

He wanted to snap a neck.

Xander's jaw was practically in his lap as he watched the woman on stage sway around the pole, "Yeah…very." He mumbled when he'd heard someone say she was good.

"I've seen better." Spike said between gulps of his beer, "There was this contortionist in Prague, she had moves that could break your back just from watchin her." All the while his eyes never left the stage.

"Huh…by the cheers and music, I assume a stripper must be on stage. However, I seem unable to actually see her." Oz admitted, only seeing a barren pole.

Xander turned towards him, "You don't see her? Gees Angel, what's the point of hiring a stripper if the groom can't watch her?" He said only half listening as his eyes bounced up and down with the rhythm the dancer kept.

Spike laughed, "Willin to bet the bride-to-be put the whammy on you. Red doesn't want you on the prowl for your last night as a free man."

"That's cold." Angel added, feeling a little bad for Oz, but at the same time, a little jealous. At least the werewolf didn't need to watch a sexy woman dancing around while knowing he wasn't going to be getting any anytime soon.

"That's just wrong." The blond vampire stated, finishing his beer. He glanced over and happened to catch Angel eyeing the girl as she swayed. "Well, well, well, won't Buffy be interested to hear how you're eyes wandered all over that young woman tonight?"

Angel abruptly looked away, feeling sheepish and angry with himself over being caught gaping as a fish at a scantily clad woman. It didn't matter if he was picturing Buffy in her place or not, he got caught red handed, by Spike of all people. "I'm sure Faith would love hearing the tale of you doing the same." He retorted to the vampire, figuring they would be at a stalemate at least.

"Lover don't mind me lookin, as long as I leave the touchin to her parts only. You, however, haven't even had a woman besides Buffy register on the radar in years. Do I smell trouble in paradise?" Spike probed.

Angel spun away from him, "Shut up Spike." He growled quietly, taking a long swig of his beer.

The vampire grinned, finding a crack to fester in. "That lil filly of yours isn't lettin you out of the stables anymore is she?" He teased, looking for some dirt to dig up or just to push Angel's buttons…that never got old.

"Go f*ck yourself Spike." Angel snapped, downing his beer and feeling very un-Angely at the moment.

"Perhaps you should take that advise? Go answer the bone-a-phone, get some batting practice, butter your corn, change your oil, charm the cobra, play a round of couch hockey for one."

"Enough Spike." Angel growled louder, dangerously, annoyed at the younger man's not so subtle insinuation.

The blond didn't even pause, "Get a dishonorable discharge, give yourself a hand, play a solo on the skin flute, wind your Jack-in-the-box, squeeze the cream from the flesh twinkie, season your meat, have a meeting with Palmala Handerson."

"Spike!" Angel growled louder, the meager amount of alcohol rushing straight to his anger.

"Slap boxing the one-eyed champ, play the stand-up organ, go a round of one man tug-o-war, get a little hand to gland combat, hang out with Rosie Palmer and her five sisters." Spike insisted, knowing he was getting on the one nerve Angel had left for the night. What could he say, he loved pissing the ponce off.

In a flash, Angel grabbed the vampire off his chair by the scruff of his neck and dragged him out the back door and into the back alley, slammed him against the brick wall. "Ya have about two seconds before I shove that dumpster up ya arse and out ya mouth." The old Irish brogue was thick on Angel's tongue, memory and alcohol bringing his old accent back full force.

"Pull the old root, leakin the main drain, launchin the hand shuttle, one handed clappin, givin the Masonic secret self handshake." Spike defiantly grinned back, not seeing the extremely thin ice he was walking on, his judgment somewhat clouded by alcohol swimming in his head from a pre-gaming bottle of bourbon.

Angel had enough, he yanked Spike in close and whispered in his ear, "Think back Willy, to the last time ya pissed me off while I was in need and had no one else to release my passions upon."

Spike visibly paled, sobering instantly when seeing Angelus very much looking back at him in that moment.

He vividly remembered the night Angelus was referring to, a night that changed his outlook on life forever. Spike may have hated Angelus for stealing Dru from him, but this is what really drove the wedge between them. Darla and Drusilla had played a game on Angelus, getting him all hot and bothered then ditching in revenge for something that had happened a day or so before. Spike, still called William at the time, had come home and had a huge laugh at the older vampire's expense. Angelus, not one to be made fun of, proceeded to both teach the boy a lesson in respecting his elders and get his needs satisfied at the same time. William being newly turned hadn't the strength to fight Angelus off, and had learned the hard way that Angelus had no moral codes…about anything…especially rape when he wanted to get his way.

Spike may have taunted Angel repeatedly about being a poof, nancy-boy, and a multitude of other homosexual remarks from the incident, but he never once repeated any of them to Angelus. There was fear deep down from that lesson the unsouled vampire gave him that night, and he was feeling it again.

"Uhh, right mate, you know I should be getting home now…sun'll be rising in…oh 8 hours or so. Need to give meself plenty of time." He nervously laughed as he tried to pull away from Angel(us).

The dark haired living vampire tightened his grip, an internal debate warring in him on whether to re-teach the lesson or not. "I don't know Willy, perhaps you don't remember...maybe you need a reminder" The living vampire growled.

"I swear I don't need my memory jogged, I remember! I'll shut up, I'll go home. You won't see me for days. Weeks. Ever again. I'll…" Spike ranted horrified at the idea. His original English accent flushing though, not the tough-guy one he'd adopted after turning.

"That tongue is still flapping Willy." Angelus threatened, "Perhaps I should rip it out once and for all."

"I'm sorry. Please Angelus, I'm sorry." Spike begged, that fear from long ago making him forget he actually beat Angel in a fight once. Granted it was only the once and the older vampire had been already weakened by his own feelings of self-worthlessness.

"I've a thing for blonds." Angelus grinned out, that smile cold.

Spike felt absolute terror.

"Be lucky I prefer them, alive and Buffy." Angelus unceremoniously dropped the vampire, letting him crash to the ground in a pool of fear and panic.

With that said, Spike instantly took the mercy and quickly fled the alley, wanting as much space as possible between him and the angry part-demon.

Angelus sent a swift kick to the retreating vampire's rear as he went, adding a little more insult to the already wounded pride, and he hoped a bruise too to remind him to hold his tongue while he still had one.

…

"Problem?" Oz asked his friend, seeing Angel reappear in the bar but not Spike.

"Not anymore." He said, sliding back into his chair. He turned to his friend, "Sorry Oz, I didn't mean to interrupt your party." Angel apologized, not wanting to make a scene but having gotten caught in the moment.

Lately he was finding himself more and more short tempered and cranky. He didn't pretend to not know why. Lack of love life was getting to him.

Being with Buffy gave him an outlet to quell his aggressive side. No Buffy, no love, no outlet…thus a buildup of Angelus-like emotions that just weren't dissipating.

He wanted to snap a neck…

Bottling that aggression, Angel bought a round of beers for the party group and forced himself to have fun the rest of the night.

…

Across town, at Willow and Oz's apartment, Faith was pouring another round of something blue and bubbly.

"You know, I was never one for these fruity little toilet bowel freshener colored drinks, but I'm liking this. What is it?" The dark haired slayer asked.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you." Buffy grinned as she took another sip.

"You could try." Faith muttered.

"Already did." Buffy played back.

Dawn almost choked on her drink, "Umm, guys? Do I need to separate you two?"

Faith and Buffy both turned to observe the younger Summers, "Why?" They asked.

"Well, you know, you are reminiscing about trying to kill one another at my bachelorette party." Willow chimed in.

"Ancient history." Faith shrugged off.

"Relax Will, we're good. Just give me a few more of these drinks, and I'll even forget we've met before tonight." Buffy smiled as she filled her cup.

"Well don't get too drunk, I need you able to stand and walk down the isle tomorrow...preferably without yacking on my family." The redhead urged as she sipped her drink.

"Slayer here, takes more than a smurf colored drink to bring me down." Buffy defended.

"So, you and Oz have any exciting honeymoon plans?" Dawn asked, looking for a little spoiler.

"So far just the moon part, which isn't until the 30th. You think planning to avoid your period is bad, try making sure all events don't land on full moons." The redhead admitted.

"I thought wolf boy didn't go all wolf boy anymore?" Faith asked.

"He can control the change now, but it's hard on full moon nights, we usually try to stay home just in case. It's easier on him if he does transform, even if only for a few hours." She explained.

"Kinky." Faith grinned.

Willow went red, "No…no kink…there is no kinking."

"Come on Red, you've never tried taming the wild beast? That's got to be one hell of a ride. Talk about being an animal in the bedroom and tearing up the sheets." The dark haired woman teased.

"Says the woman dating a vampire." Dawn commented.

"Hey, there is nothing wrong with dating a vampire…well…certain vampires...like ones with souls." Buffy added.

"Only one of those around, and he's mine." Faith defended.

"Hey, me too." Buffy shot back.

"Angel doesn't count anymore, he's alive." The dark slayer denied.

"Alive or not, there's still a demon inside." The blond slayer countered.

"Well, looks like we all agree. We need a little monster in our men." Faith toasted.

"What about me? I'm not dating a demon." Dawn chimed in.

"Your first kiss was a vampire." Buffy deadpanned.

Dawn's cheeks reddened, "Yeah…well he wasn't when I started to like him…plus I used the distraction of a kiss to stake him."

"Really? To me it looked like he was going for your neck."

"That is kinda funny." Willow looked up and noticed them looking at her, "Oh not the vampire thing…ick…to unsouled ones I mean….what I meant before about the funny, we are all into beastly men. I wonder if that's some sort of Hellmouth side effect. Warning: Expose to Hellmouth may cause attraction to monsters."

"Would explain my dating history." Buffy mused. "Vampire, college horn-dog, demon hunting soldier, Ben/Hellgod, vampire…"

"Don't be so harsh on yourself Buffy. You have everything anyone could want now. A tall, dark, and sexy hero-type husband, two amazing kids, a beautiful home and a job you love. What else is there in life?" Willow expressed, a little jealous of her friend but knowing she was working on getting those things too.

"Yeah, totally hate you for being so lucky." Dawn joked.

Buffy grinned, but the smile didn't quiet reach her eyes. She took a long swallow of her drink and pasted on an everything-is-perfectly-fine face. "So, anyone want another chocolate chip cookie?"

…

Half an hour later, there was a knock at the door.

Willow immediately turned to Buffy, "Please tell me you didn't hire a stripper?"

Buffy reddened, "Come on Will, it's just a little fun." At her friend's serious look she added, "Shameful and immoral fun…oh come on Will, I was pregnant for my bachelorette party and I was less of a stick in the mud. It's just one night, looking isn't going to hurt anyone, plus I bet Oz is watching a stripper with the guys right now, so you'll be even."

Willow looked guilty, "Actually, he isn't seeing a stripper right now...or at all tonight."

"Why?" Dawn asked.

"Well" the witch explained, "I might have put a spell on him so he literally couldn't see any scantily clad women."

"Really? You spelled him? That seems a little…excessive." Buffy commented.

"Buffy listen to me, you know my history with men…Oz is it. If there is no Oz, there is no me with a man. Oz is my guy, literally my only guy. So yeah, I guess I got jealous of the idea of him looking at another woman. I guess I'm still not over that whole Veruca incident." Willow rationalized her actions.

"That was freshman year of college, what 7 years ago?" Buffy asked, remembering the affair Oz had with the pretty but wild lead singer who was also a werewolf. That had been the reason Oz left in the first place, to find a way to cure or contain his 'condition.' "Trust me Will, he only looks at you. I'm your best friend, if I saw his eyes wandering; I'd feed him to the nearest vamp for you no question asked."

"Was that supposed to be encouraging?" The red-head asked.

"The 'he only looks at you' part was." Buffy answered.

"Hey, were you guys planning on letting this poor, lost firefighter stand outside all night?" Faith asked, leading in the stripper that had knocked a few minutes earlier.

"I can see why I was called here, this room is smoking hot." The tall blond 'fireman' said as he shed his overcoat, revealing well muscled arms and chest. "Let me pull out my hose and put out this fire!"

Buffy raised an eyebrow, once upon a time she might have felt the temperature in the room skyrocket from the man undressing only feet from her, but now…bored. "You know, spending so much time with Angel kinda makes this guy look like a college geek playing dress-up." She whispered to her best friend.

"Buffy!" Willow hissed, but seeing her point.

"Hey fireman, I've got a bushfire that needs putting out." Faith grinned, waving a hand full of dollars.

"Scared for life." Dawn muttered upon hearing Faith, but had to admit, the guy should put himself out because he was hot.

…

After the stripper left the girls were sitting on the couch and chairs gossiping. Alcohol had loosened them all up and the words were flowing far more smoothly that usual. No one was drunk, just tipsy and feeling happy.

"Am I the only one here that never kissed a vampire?" Willow asked.

"You were one." Buffy offered, "And I think she wanted to kiss you. Don't think I didn't notice her pinch your butt."

"Evil alternate reality double, that doesn't count!" The witch injected.

"Kissing vamps is great, I love that little growly thing they do." Faith smiled as she daydreamed about snogging with Spike.

"Oh my god! I love that too!" Buffy exclaimed, feeling a surge of happy, "Angel make this rumbly noise in his chest when we're making out, it sends my libido skyrocketing."

"It's almost like a purr." Faith joked.

"Vamps don't purr…but yeah, sounds a little similar." Buffy amended.

"Umm…weird. You think they know when they make it? Or it is an unconscious thing?" Dawn asked, not having that experience herself.

"I don't know. I think sometimes Angel knows, but other times, defiantly not. It's cute either way." Buffy admitted.

"Oz had been doing that lately. It's adorable. He's been blending his two sides more, letting his beastly side and his human sides mingle. It seems to help him during those times of the month, make his animal side more human. We've been working on spells and mediations to help him change at will."

"That would be so cool if he could control it, like vamps do!" Dawn said excitedly. "Instead of a fangy game face, he can have a furry game face…well furry whole body…not just the face…I either need more to drink or less…I can't tell."

"Hell yeah, think of the kink! I knew I should have bought you a muzzle." Faith added.

"No muzzle." Willow denied.

"Ohh, someone likes love bites!" Faith giggled, sipping more of her drink.

"Oz doesn't bite." Willow objected. After a sip she muttered quietly, "Hard."

Faith laughed, "Ha! Knew it!" She looked over at Buffy, "Well I guess we're not the only ones with nippy guys."

"Angel doesn't bite me." She stated.

Faith just looked doubtfully at her.

"Ok so he has, but not all the time, occasionally his demon side needs a little attention too" she amended.

"Really? Spike bites like every time. I'm game though, I like the rush I get from it, gets me good and hot." The dark slayer grinned.

"What!" Dawn gaped. "Please tell me that's not what you and Angel…" She asked her sister, feeling too mortified to finish the sentence.

"No! Trust me, he's man enough without his demon for me." After a moment, "But the demon stamina is kinda nice…and the growly…and the I'm going to stop talking now…" She said as her sister's look of disgust.

"Ew, never should one EVER hear those kinds of things from her sister's lips." Dawn shivered, not needing a mental picture of her sister's love life in any way, shape or form.

"You're jealous you're not getting any." Faith accused.

"Who says I'm not?" Dawn grinned.

"Dawn!" Buffy leaned forwards, "Spill!" She demanded, wanting every shred of gossip.

She huddle up close and giggled, "I've been seeing this guy Mark, he's so amazing. He's in college, senior, working on an engineering degree. He wants to build planes. He's so adorable!"

"Why's this the first I'm hearing about him?" Buffy asked, excited for her sister but a little hurt being left out of the loop.

"Well…I don't want him getting eaten by anything…I'm sorry Buffy, I love you…but things tend to go all hell-mouthy around you." Dawn admitted.

Buffy nodded, "Point taken."

"He's my date for the wedding tomorrow, you'll meet his then."

"Oh I was wondering who you were bringing, I'm so happy for you." Willow said, hugging the younger Summers.

"Me too, can't wait to interrogate him." Buffy smiled.

"Buffy!" Her sister whined.

"I meant meet, can't wait to meet him." She quickly hid her grin.

"Ok ladies, let's play a drinking game." Faith changed the topic to something more fun.

"Ok, how do we play?" Dawn asked.

"We'll take turns asking sexual related questions, the originator has to ask something she's never done and anyone who's done it has to drink. I'll start. You've had sex in a convertible."

Willow and Dawn didn't drink, but Buffy slowly lifted her glass to her lips and took a sip.

"Please tell me not the GTX." Dawn asked, shocked.

Buffy turned red.

"Never sitting in the back seat again…" Dawn muttered.

"Wasn't the back." She replied quietly.

Willow and Faith laughed.

"You've never had sex in a car?" Buffy asked Faith, "I can't believe that."

"Cars, hell yeah, but the type I 'dated' wasn't really the kind to afford a convertible. Always wanted to do it with the top down, watch the stars twinkle while a guys got his head down in my…"

"Faith" Buffy clamped her hand over the younger slayer's mouth. "Little sister right there."

"I'm twenty years old Buffy." Her sister deadpanned.

"Technically you're under seven." She pulled the 'you were a key' card.

"Spoil sport." Dawn muttered.

"You've had sex in an elevator." Willow continued the game.

Faith took three sips. She shrugged when they looked at her, "Three separate times."

"We were supposed to drink for multiples? Oops." Buffy alarmed.

"That poor car." Dawn said shaking her head. "I'm never riding in it again."

"You've had sex in the last week." Dawn asked.

Willow and Faith took a sip. Buffy didn't.

"Really?" Dawn asked her sister. I mean I haven't seen Mark since he's doing a research thing out of town, but you? What's your excuse?"

Buffy shrugged, "You know, been busy lately."

"You've had sex in the past month." Faith asked, sensing something in Buffy.

Willow and Dawn drank, Faith took a very long swig too.

"No fair, you said something you've never done." Buffy pouted, folding her arms across her chest.

"I changed the rules, now it's something you have done." Faith countered.

"What's up Buffy? Is there something wrong between you and Angel?" Her best friend asked, concerned for her. It wasn't common for them to talk about their sex lives, but they all knew her and Angel had a very healthy sexual relationship.

"No…we're fine…everything's good…" She tried in her best please-believe-me voice.

"Liar." Both Dawn and Willow countered, seeing the lie in her eyes.

"What's up B?" Faith asked, interested and concerned.

"Nothing…I'm just…we're just…I don't know…I don't want to talk about it, not here, not now, ok guys?" She asked, really not wanting to bring up a miscarriage during a party.

Faith saw something behind the older slayer's eyes. A pain she recognized. "You've had a miscarriage." Faith asked, still in the game.

Willow and Dawn stared as Faith took a long swallow on her drink.

Slowly Buffy lifted her glass, taking a sip.

"Oh, Buffy!" Willow quickly got up and hugged her friend, Dawn joining her.

While they were consoling Buffy, Faith took another sip.

"Faith?" Buffy asked, watching her.

"Multiple occasions…always knew kids hated me." She smiled to kill the numbing pain she felt whenever she let herself remember.

Buffy wiggled from her friend and sister's arms and sat next to Faith.

"When?" she asked.

"Show me yours, I'll show you mine." Faith joked, putting on her tough-girl persona.

Buffy sighed, not wanting to tell them but feeling that maybe if others knew it might help ease the burden. Slowly, for the first time, she explained what happened that night back in April; tears flowed unchecked down all their faces as they listened.

"I'm so sorry Buffy." Dawn told her as she hugged her, rubbing her back.

"Me too." Buffy whispered. She looked up across to the chair Faith was lounging in. "Faith?"

The dark haired woman knocked back her drink and as promised began her tale. "Nothing really to say, I've been with alotta guys…can't say protection was always available. First time it happened, I was only 15. I'd newly run away, shacked up with a guy…I didn't have any money so I paid my rent in…well you can guess. I didn't mind, not like I was a virgin or anything. Didn't really know what was happening at first, the blood really freaked me out. Went to the hospital, they told me I'd had a miscarriage. I was shocked to say the least, hadn't even know I was carrying."

"15?" Willow asked, "Oh Faith, that's terrible. I'm so sorry."

The younger slayer shrugged, "I was too young to even understand what had happened. Honestly I was relieved at the time, wasn't really thinking about being a mom then, especially with that dead beat as my baby's daddy."

"You drank twice." Buffy probed quietly, hoping Faith talking about her experience would help her grieve. Buffy wondered if those losses were what turned Faith into the 'tough-chick' she was now. All those bottled emotions, contributing to what made her unstable enough to side with the darkness in the past.

"When I was 17, I got pregnant again. Accident of course…but I went to Diana, my watcher, about it. She told me a few slayers had conceived before, but many didn't get to term, either by miscarriage or they're killed. I wanted to try though; I felt the kid deserved a shot, many get dealt a better hand at life than I got. I was three months when Kakistos showed up. Diana was taken by him, I had to get her back, so I fought him…got in a few good hits, took out his eye. As a result, he got me good in the stomach…and I lost more than just the fight."

"No wonder you were so freaked when he showed up in Sunnydale." Dawn muttered, understanding the younger slayers distress.

"Ancient history." Faith repeated, shrugging off the well of emotions "He's dead, I'm not. It's good."

Buffy ignored her and sat beside her, Faith was surprised when the blond slayer hugged her. "I'm so sorry for your loss, Faith"

The dark haired slayer tired to push her away, but Buffy held on. After a moment tears welled in Faith's brown eyes and she hugged Buffy back. "It's not fair." She whispered, letting out the emotions she'd never let herself have.

Buffy shook her head, "No, it's not."

"I had a false positive once." Willow admitted.

They looked over at her.

Willow shrugged, "I guess it's no big compared to actually losing one…but you know…I felt like I'd lost something. I really wanted it…and I never even had it."

"When?" Buffy asked, knowing Willow had never mentioned this before.

"Remember how freaky I was when Oz left?" She asked, referring to freshmen year UC Sunnydale.

Buffy's eyes widened, it would explain Willow's behavior a lot that year. "Oh Will, why didn't you say anything? I could have been support girl!" She beckoned for Willow to come sit with her and Faith on the couch.

When the redhead sat beside her, Buffy's arms went around her. "Well, you know, you and Riley were…happy…I didn't want to get my sad on you."

"I wish you had, you should have talked to me, not held that inside for so long." Buffy scolded.

"You too." The witch countered.

Buffy sighed, defeated. "I know…I just…I wasn't even going to tell Angel, but you know…vamp senses."

"Did you guys know about the baby?" Dawn asked, sitting closer.

Buffy shook her head, "Not until it was too late. I think it was my fault, we we're training the slayers that morning, I got kicked…maybe if I hadn't…"

Faith cut her off, "Don't go down that road B, it's a dead end."

Hazel green eyes met brown and Buffy nodded. Knowing 'what if' statements really never helped anyone. You couldn't change the past, what's done is done.

"How's Angel about this?" Willow asked, concerned.

Buffy smiled a little, "A godsend, nothing but supportive." Her face darkened a little, "and I've been horrible to him lately, we haven't been intimate since it happened. I haven't really even kissed him."

"You just need some time." Dawn spoke, feeling sad for her sister's pain.

"That's what he said. I've had time…time isn't working…I need something stronger." Buffy muttered, frustrated with herself. "I want to be with him…but it's like something's in the way, blocking us."

"There is nothing between you Buffy; you're just not ready yet. I'm sorry, but there is no magic to make you ready." Willow explained, wanting to help her friend but knowing her hands were tired.

Buffy nodded, she knew Willow was right. She took a deep breath and sighed out, wiping tears off her cheeks. "Well some party huh?" Trying to lighten it back up.

…

It was midnight when the party at the bar was winding down. Sal's Place stayed open till 2am, but Oz wanted to get to bed before then. He was staying at Xander's apartment that night, Willow claimed it was unlucky for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.

Angel had snorted at that concept; he'd slept with his bride the night before the wedding….of course then they had an apocalypse. _'Hmm, maybe it was unlucky…'_ He shrugged it off, it worked out.

Angel drove Oz and Xander home, seeing Xander was too drunk to drive. Angel's alcohol had mostly burned off by then, a mix of demon tolerance plus he'd only had three beers all night. Back in the 1700's, he'd drink half the under the table and still be able to walk home. Of course that lifestyle had gotten him eaten in a dark alley by Darla…

When he pulled in the driveway the first thing he noticed was Buffy wasn't home yet, the SUV not being in the driveway. He glanced at the time and figured she'd either decided to stay at Willow's or just plain fell asleep.

If something was wrong, he was sure he'd have known it.

Opening the door he looked up at the stairs across the room, suddenly feeling extremely tired, then looked at the couch only a few feet away. The bedroom was a lot further than the couch, not to mention sleeping in the bed without Buffy was too depressing. He hated sleeping alone now.

He flopped down onto the couch, pulled the throw pillow under his head, and fell fast asleep.

…

A few hours later Buffy awoke on Willow's couch. Dawn was passed out on the floor, Faith was spread out over the two plush chairs and Willow was using her leg as a pillow on the other end of the couch.

She glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly 4am.

"Oh crap, we fell asleep." Buffy winced, wondering if Angel was freaking when she didn't come home last night as she planned to.

"Will." Buffy shook her dozing friend, "Will!" She said a little louder.

"Huh, Buffy?" Willow mumbled sleepily.

"Yeah, it's late…well early…I'll be over around 10am to get ready with you, ok?" Buffy told her friend, she'd promised to help Willow get her wedding gown on and do her hair and makeup. The wedding wasn't until 2pm, so 10am was plenty of time. She hoped.

"Ok." Willow yawned and spread out on the couch, taking over Buffy's spot.

…

Buffy slipped into her house a few minutes after 4am. She immediately spotted Angel passed out on the couch. _'Did he wait up for me? Or is he too drunk to make it upstairs?'_

She bent down and placed a light kiss on his forehead. She was planning to head upstairs to bed, then realized she didn't really want to sleep where he wasn't. She hated sleeping alone now. He looked too peaceful to wake him, so she slipped off her shoes and just settled down half-atop him, half beside him on the inside of the couch.

His arms wrapped around her as she got comfy, not waking up, but just automatically holding her and keeping her safe.

She smiled and fell right to sleep.


	42. Witches & Weddings & Werewolves, Oh My!

Witches and Wolves and Weddings, Oh my!

June 16, 2007

Immediately following The Bachelor Party, Round 2.

* * *

It was just after 7am when Angel stirred awake.

The first thing he became aware of was the fact he'd gone to sleep alone but wasn't waking up that way.

Buffy was sleeping on him. '_Could think of worse ways to wake up._' He mused. He grinned and kissed her crown, letting his thumb move slowly up and down against her back.

They were both fully clothed, but he still enjoyed the feel of her against him.

He hadn't had much it that lately.

A few minutes later she roused, stretching and leaning up.

"Morning." She grinned, a little embarrassed she'd just decided to sleep on him.

He grinned back, "Morning, sleep well?" He asked.

"Very" She smiled, leaning back down and pillowing her head against his shoulder.

"What time did you get in?" He asked, he'd felt when she'd come home, but didn't exactly know what time it was.

"Late…early? Around 4." She told him, "I fell asleep on Will's couch."

"Figured as much." He agreed.

"You?" She asked, wondering how long he'd been passed out on the couch.

"Before 1am, drove Xander and Oz home first." He explained. "They were pretty buzzed, and we did all promise Willow we wouldn't drink and drive."

"You didn't drink?" She asked a little surprised. Not that Angel ever drank outside social gatherings but she figured drinking at a bachelor party was a requirement.

"I had a few beers spread over the evening, nothing judgment clouding." He admitted. "You?"

She shrugged, "Oh, you know…girl talk and fruity drinks go hand in hand."

They were silent for a while after that, just enjoying a lazy and quiet, children free morning.

Angel was half asleep when Buffy moved to get up, wanting a cup of coffee to chase off the lingering tiredness.

He groaned when she accidentally brushed against his groin, which was taking advantage of Buffy's closeness and the time of morning.

"Sorry." He muttered, pulling the blanket up to smother his unintentional arousal. He was both glad for the confinement (but a little uncomfortable) of the material of his jeans. He hated jeans, but Buffy had bought them for him and he reluctantly wore them.

"Oops." Her cheeks reddened a little and she wished she didn't bring out such feelings in him when she wasn't trying to. She didn't want to tease him. Actually, what she really wanted was the tension to take a hike so she could enjoy making love to her husband again. But it wasn't cooperating.

"It's ok." He dismissed, he was used to it by now.

She bit her lip then turned back towards him, he was getting up to go drown his arousal in a few dozen gallons of freezing water again.

"Don't." She told him, pushing him back onto the couch and sitting beside him.

He looked across confused at her.

When he was about to say something she clamped her mouth over his, effectively shutting him up. Her heads wandered up to his face, caressing his cheek on the outside as her tongue did likewise to the inside. Her other hand moved behind his head, running her fingers though the short dark locks.

He leaned into her, hungry for her. He inhaled her scent, but pulled back quickly when he smelled no arousal on her. '_Damn it, stop messing with me!_' He thought angrily.

"Buffy." He protested, not wanting to have the sympathy f*ck talk again.

"Shh." She said, placing her finger over his lips. "I'm not doing this because you want me to, or because I feel bad…I _want_ to do this for you. I'm not ready to be touched myself yet, but I _want_ to touch you. I love you; I _want_ to love you." She leaned back in and met his lips with hers, and as she nipped his tongue, her fingers worked to undo his zipper. '_Damn, he's right, jeans suck_.' She thought as the zipper jammed.

When his hands tried to caress her hips, she swatted them playfully away.

"No touching." She teased, knowing if his hands starting wandering all over her she'd probably get freaked and want to stop.

She didn't want to stop.

He growled a little and she laughed, taking his hands and placing them on the back on the couch. "Stay." She grinned at his frown.

With no distractions now, she quickly freed him from the tightness of the jeans and pushed the material down to his ankles, giving her full access to him.

He shivered a little in want as she knelt down between his knees, caressing his legs and moving towards his increasingly swelling interest in her.

His eyes shut when he felt her hot breath on his overly sensitive skin, very fiber pulsing for her to touch him.

Her warm fingers were feather light as they wrapped around his base, occasionally reached down to tickled and tease the family jewels.

Her hot tongue darted in and out as she licked and kissed his manhood, bringing a low rumble of desire from his chest.

She smiled at the noise, knowing exactly what she was doing to him.

She leaned down to take him fully into her mouth when the front door banged open.

"Buffy!"

Buffy gasped and jumped back, Angel did the same, grabbing the blanket from the couch and covering himself with it.

"Xander! What the hell are you doing here!" Buffy yelled, standing up and facing her friend with laser beam eyes.

He ignored the death-eyes, he was too panicked to even see them. "Oz! Wolf! Need slayer right now!" He blurted out.

"Wh-what? But it's not a full moon, and it's daytime, what happened?" She asked, slayer instincts kicking in.

"I don't know…he was fine this morning, then he just went crazy. He transformed, wrecked my place, and I don't know where he is! We need to get him before he hurts someone!" Xander's words rushed out, freaking over his friend suddenly going crazy and panting from running across town, his car still being at the pub from last night.

"Ok, we're on it." She turned to Angel but found the couch empty, a second later she heard the upstairs shower turn on.

She winced, feeling horrible for getting Angel all worked up and then needing to run out. '_Damn it…I so need to make this up to him.'_

Pushing her family life aside for a moment, the slayer part of her grabbed her keys off the key ring, dragged a stunned Xander out and headed for her car. '_Angel__ can catch up later._' She thought. "Where did you last see Oz?" she asked, starting the SUV's engine and backing down the driveway.

…

Angel bit back the scream of frustration as he stood under the freezing water. He wanted to punch Xander, rip his head off.

_'No_.' he told himself, '_it's not his fault…Oz is in trouble.' _

_'Fuck Oz…I'm __horney__._' The angry reply in his head shot back.

His body still raged at being denied the release it was promised.

Bottle up those emotions again, he shut the water, toweled off and dressed. Grabbing a net and a dart gun from the weapon safe in their bedroom, he snatched up his keys and jumped into his GTX, dialing Buffy's cell to find out where they were concentrating the search.

However, deep down in his head, he was pissed at Buffy.

_'Little bitch…she did that on purpose…'_

…

A few hours later Oz was locked up safely in his containment cell as Willow sped through books to find out how to de-wolf him.

"I don't understand…th-this has never happened before." The witch cried, "Why did this happen today?" She asked Buffy as the blond rubbed her friend's back reassuringly.

Things always did seem to go to hell on wedding days…Xander and Anya's, Buffy and Angel's…now Willow and Oz's.

"We're all cursed?" Xander asked, flipping aimlessly though another book.

"Xander." Buffy shot him a bland look. Sarcasm, however true, wasn't helpful.

"It'll be ok Will, just relax, we'll change him back." She soothed her freaking friend.

No sooner had she said it, Oz began to shift back to his human form.

"Oz? Baby are you ok?" Willow called, fumbling for the key to the cell.

The naked redheaded werewolf shook his head, disorientated by the sudden shift. "Uh…that depends? I didn't miss the wedding did I?" He asked, afraid he'd lost his change to marry the girl he loves.

Willow wrapped herself around him, preserving his dignity, "No, you didn't." She kissed him numerously, rocking against him in relief.

"Xander, want to get Oz some clothes?" Buffy asked, turning so the two could have a moment alone.

He nodded and went into the small adjacent room to riffle through the locker Oz kept there with supplies, like clothes.

She glanced around, wondering where Angel had slunk off to. He'd helped bring Oz down, but vanished soon after the wolf was caged. She sighed, still feeling horrible about ditching him the way she did earlier. She wanted to talk to him, even finish what she started, but that didn't work if he wasn't here.

"Buffy?" Willow called from the cell, "Are the guest still coming? Can we still have the wedding?"

She nodded to her friend, "No one but us knows what happened this morning, we can be ready but we'd need to leave like…really soon." It was nearly ten, and they all still needed to get their outfits, get to hair appointments, put on makeup…wash dirt and wet dog smell off their bodies…a lot needed to happen before 2pm.

"What did happen this morning?" Xander asked, re-entering to room and tossing a shirt and some pants to Oz.

"Sorry man, didn't mean to trash your place." Oz apologized as he dressed, strangely remembering everything that happened while he was the wolf, remembering the sudden and uncontrollable anger that flooded through him.

"No big, you weren't the first demon to…history says you won't be the last." Xander moped.

"Yeah Oz, what caused the wolf-out?" Buffy asked, curious.

He shrugged, "Honestly, I don't know. One sec I was good, the next, wolf." He turned to his bride-to-be and saw her eyes blacken as she chanted something. "Will?" He asked, concerned.

Her eyes widened as they became their normal green again, "Oh, someone spelled you…a hex…they purposely made you angry so you'd transform."

"What?" Xander asked, "Why? So he could wreck my place?"

"I don't know, I can just see the traces of it. Whatever it is, it's gone now." She told them, freaked someone would do that to her Oz on purpose.

"Like a distraction?" Buffy asked, feeling like something was going on._ 'Ok worry...where's Angel?'_

"Yeah, maybe." Willow agreed, "This hex was weak, only for short term control. Stronger hexes take days, over a week in some cases to mature. This wasn't a planned attack; the spell was hacked together quickly, like the caster decided to do it last minute."

"Any way to trace it back to the person who sent it?" Buffy asked, wondering if it could be the same person who sent the portal after her, that mystery was still unsolved.

The redhead shook her head, "Its energy is already dissipated, it may have been hacked together fast, but it was well assembled. The originator is an expert on magicks."

"Hey, is Angel ok?" The werewolf asked.

"Yeah, why won't he be?" Buffy asked, husband alarms flaring.

"Well I didn't see him…and I think…I thought I…might have…bit him." He admitted. "I remember blood."

Buffy's eyes widened. "What!" She turned and ran out of the crypt the cage was located in and up the stairs into the graveyard, panicking that her already demon sponsored husband could now be infected with lycanthropy. _'Were-Vamp, not something I care to witness.'_

She shot around the corner and slammed right into the one she was racing to find.

"Whoa slow down" Angel yelped, as he struggled to keep his balance after getting body slammed by a panicked slayer. "Where's the fire?"

She looked up at him then began to frantically search his body and limbs for a bite wound.

"Buffy, what's wrong?" He demanded, pulling her hands out of his shirt.

"Oz thinks he bit you, did he bite you?" She asked, trying to get her hands free and search him more.

Angel relaxed a little, realized she was freaked over worry for him and not something else. "Buffy, I wasn't bitten." He stated, pulling up his pant leg and letting her see some healing cuts on his leg. "He caught me with the claws on his foot, but no bite, I swear."

"Oh thank god." She crushed herself against him, hugging him in relief.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to worry you." He told her, rubbing her back.

She stood against him a moment, then asked, "Where did you go?" She wondered why he left the crypt to begin with.

He shrugged, "Felt a little crowded down there, just wanted some fresh air, feel the sun on my face…that and I called Giles to check in." All of that was true, but what he didn't tell her was he'd also been beating the hell out of a punching bag he'd placed in a nearby crypt for when he needed a place to cool off. Anger was boiling just under his cool exterior, and it was driving him crazy.

She nodded, pulling back. "Oh, good. How are the kids? Is Giles still sane? Did Liam sleep? How's Katie? Are they eating? Do they miss us?" she rushed out, wanting to know every detail since she last saw her babies.

Angel grinned, "Take a breath beloved."

"Sorry, I hate when they're not with us." She blushed, motherly instincts showing.

"Me too. They're fine, all of them." He promised, bending to place a kiss on her forehead, "I told him I'd call when we knew what was going on. By the way, what is going on? Oz ok? They still getting married?" Angel asked, concerned for his friends and equally really not wanting to have to postpone after all the work he and Buffy put into getting this wedding planned.

"Yeah to both. It was a spell, Will called it a Hex. We're not sure who or why yet, but it's gone now." She explained.

He nodded, "Well that's a relief, now we don't have to re-plan their wedding." He joked.

She rolled her eyes, grabbed his hand and pulled him back towards the crypt. "This reminds me of our wedding."

"A rabid werewolf hardly compares to an apocalypse." He grinned.

Had Buffy been facing him, she would have seen a shadow pass across his eyes.

A second later it was gone.

…

They were all back at Buffy and Angel's house, where the prep and after party were taking place in a few hours. Willow, Dawn and Buffy were in the master bedroom, getting the bride's makeup and hair done while the others were scattered about; getting dressed, showering, setting up the tables and chairs in the back yard…etc.

Oz was pacing in the living room, a tiny sliver of worry tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Willow has the whole house under protection; nothing without an invitation gets past those walls, including magicks." Angel stated to his worried friend. "You won't transform again."

"It's not that." Oz admitted, still pacing.

Angel nodded, understanding. "The it's-my-wedding-day jitters."

The werewolf nodded, "Yeah, that. Any advice?"

Angel sat on the couch, thinking. After a moment he shook his head, "Nope. I got nothing."

Oz gave him a cold look.

Angel grinned, "Just relax, I remember I was a wreck on my wedding day, you saw me…now I can't imagine why. It was the forth best day of my life."

"Forth?" Oz asked, wonder what beat out marrying the woman you love.

"Only behind the days my kids were born." Angel explained at Oz's raised eyebrow. He took a deep breath, "Just remember, tomorrow you'll wake up with the woman you love beside you forever."

Oz nodded, liking the idea.

…

2pm

Despite the near disaster that morning with Oz going wolf-crazy, the rest of the day went perfectly.

They held the ceremony at a nearby botanical garden, the brightly blooming flowers giving the place a beautiful, calming and wonderful smelling atmosphere.

It was a small service, only around 35 people, consisting mostly of Oz and Willow's immediate friends and family.

They had a mixed traditions wedding, some elements of tradition mixed with Jewish and Wiccan practices. The whole wedding had a storybook feel to it.

There were Wiccan symbols around the area; trinkets and talismans for the five elements earth, fire, wind, water and spirit, and little offering for the goddesses and spirits in the form of fresh baked breads and sacred oils.

When the music started, Buffy and Angel walked down the isle together, both wearing outfits reflecting a pagan tradition. Buffy's dress was a pale lavender, long and flowing at the lacy sleeves, the corset lacing flaunting her curves and the low neckline showing off her delicate neck and modest cleavage.

It was really making Angel jealous of the lacy panties he knew she was wearing.

Angel took his place beside Oz, giving him a pat on the back for encouragement.

When the best man and maid of honor were in place, Giles nudge Katie down the isle, the little flower girl dropped flowers as she walked shyly but steadily to her mother through the line of unfamiliar faces.

Buffy smiled and picked her up, so she could watch as the music changed, played by the former Dingoes Ate my Baby friends of Oz.

Willow appeared from behind the flower arrangement, clutching tightly to her father's arm as he walked his only child down the isle. It wasn't what the devout Jew had imagined his daughter's wedding to be, but he supported her. Mostly he was just happy she was marrying a man and not a woman as he'd feared.

Willow gown was right out of a fairy tale, an ivory color with colorful fresh flowers woven into the bottom, the sleeves were lacy and open along the arm much like Buffy's dress, the sleeve bottoms so long they nearly touched the ground. A corset showed off her trim figure, golden lacing running up both sides.

Everything about her just screamed goddess.

Oz nearly toppled when he'd seen his bride, Angel helping to prop him up.

When the bride's father passed her off, he sat and the minister began.

They wrote their own vows, pledging their love for one another as the minister bound their hands in a pagan handfastings style, the thick red ribbon wrapping them and binding them to one another forever.

When the minister called for the rings, Giles handed Liam a little pillow with the rings attached to it and gave him a nudge down the isle. The toddler made it about half-way before he froze in terror. His hazel green eyes wide and watery.

Angel grinned at his son and quickly went to help him along, taking his hand and walking him the rest of the way, picking him up so the minister could take the pillow with the rings tied to it.

It didn't go exactly how they'd rehearsed, but what wedding did? Willow and Oz thought it was cute and funny; they also liked how it took the attention off them for a few minutes, the antics of a child breaking the tension.

Willow had gotten the idea to include the two tots during the rehearsal while watching Katie and Liam follow their parents around like shadows. She'd thought it would be nice to have them be the flower girl and ring barer.

Once the vows were said and the rings exchanged, Willow and Oz kissed their first kiss as a married couple. When their lips touched, sparks flew, surrounding the couple in a brilliant shower of hearts and stars and glittering lights.

The guest and wedding party were awed alike, the two littlest clapping and cheering the loudest.

After the ceremony, everyone retreated back to the Summer's residence for the party.

Connor, Dawn, Xander and Giles heading back first to beat the crowd to the house and get everything ready.

When Willow was done with the pictures, the wedding party loaded into the limo and headed to the party.

…

Willow and Oz sat at a private table in the back yard, smiling and talking in the romantic candle light.

The party was still going strong hours in, the sun having just sunk below the horizon.

Faith appeared in the backyard a half hour later, dressed to kill and dragging a very reluctant Spike with her. "What's the matter with you? It's a wedding party, not a holy water park." She scolded her lover.

The blond vampire's blue eyes shifted around, spotting Angel seated next to Buffy at a small table across the yard. He figured as long as that amount of space separated them, he was good. He was still twitching from the threat he'd received the night before.

Connor was dancing with Katie, making sure the little girl was well tired out. He'd asked his parent if he could take his siblings for the night and they'd happily agreed. When the little ones nodded off in a few hours, he'd gather them up and head out.

Giles had Liam, the boy was content with watching the party goers and listening to the music.

That left Buffy alone with her husband.

They were sharing their second bottle of champagne, both of them a little tipsy and feeling good. They'd danced for a while, Angel shocking Buffy by actually staying on the dance floor for more than just the slow songs. He actually danced with her, proving he wasn't a complete klutz as he'd claimed on numerous occasions. Obviously his Angelus side was far more confident when it came to dancing.

At the moment they were just sitting together, drinking champagne from each others glasses and giggling for no reason. "Mmm, I like this…can we do this more often?" she asked, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Have a wedding party at our house or drink champagne?" He asked, watching her, unable to take his eyes off her practically the whole night.

_'God I want to rip that dress off and take her right here on this table.' _

She giggled again, "Both."

He forced his eyes away a second, spotting Dawn slow dancing with her boyfriend.

"Mark seems nice, think he'll marry Dawn?" He asked, looking down at her and for the millionth time catching his breath on how beautiful his wife looks tonight.

She punched his arm playfully, "No way! She's 20! Too young for marriage." She denied, unable to think of her baby sister getting married.

"You were only 23." He pointed out. "And back when I was young, girls got married soon after they began menstruating."

"Quiet you." She kissed him to make him see reason.

When she broke the kiss he grinned, "You're right, 20 is way too young." He played along, just enjoying the closeness and letting her win any conversation arguments.

"Dance with me." She said after a minute, not so much a question as an order.

"Again?" He whined playfully, "Didn't we just dance a few songs ago?"

She shrugged, pulling away, "Fine, I guess I can go find some other guy willing to…" She teased.

He cut her off as he growled at the thought of anyone else touching her and swept her up against him. "Mine." He muttered, kissing her neck as he walked with her to the dance floor, aka their backyard.

She grinned and pressed against him, swaying to the slow and steady beat. As she moved, she let all the worries slip away. All she felt was his warm body touching hers, all she heard was his heartbeat and soft breathing against her ear, all she smelled was his scent.

'_I want him.'_ she thought, the alcohol numbing the fear of intimacy.

Angel swallowed hard, practically drooling over how bad he wanted to taste her...one way or another...

…

An hour later Willow and Oz departed to start their honeymoon. He made some secret plans and was going to surprise her with them.

They purposely left their phones behind, unwilling to be disturbed on their first week as a married couple.

Not long after that, the party guests were rapidly heading home or to their hotel rooms since many had early morning flights back home.

Dawn took Mark home with her to spend a little quality time before he had to head back out of town, Connor took his siblings, Giles retreated for a quiet evening with a good book, while Spike dragged Faith out of the Summer's home at record speed.

A very tipsy Buffy dragged Angel upstairs with her, planning to have a little romantic evening of her own.

...

TBC in Darkness Rising.


	43. Darkness Rising, Part 1

…

After engaging in a heated kiss, he slowly pulled away from her, forcing his loins under control…for the hundredth time that night.

"Buffy, we can't." He reluctantly denied her, using everything he had to step back.

"What? Why?" She asked, trying to get her hands down his pants.

"You're drunk…I'm drunk…it wouldn't be right." He told her, digging at every bit of chivalry in him.

"Drunken sex is great." She giggled, grabbing for his pants again.

"Buffy, you haven't been ready to resume an intimate relationship in months…now after a few bottles of champagne you're all for it? I can't take advantage of you like that." He urged, kicking himself for it. _'Damn, sometimes I really REALLY hate this soul.'_ His darker side growled.

"Sure you can." She smiled, unfastening her dress and letting it slide off.

His eyes widened, taking in the wonderful image of her bare top, those perfect breasts he's been denied for months practically begging for him to touch them. That little scrap of fabric she calls panties just asking to be ripped off so he can indulging in the perfection that lay just beneath.

His mouth watered.

_'Wrong, this is wrong, very, very wrong…she's going to hate you in the morning.'_ That little souled voice in the back of his head rambled annoyingly.

_'Who cares, get some pussy, she's offering._' The darkness suggested.

She slowly walked towards him, "You know you want me." She teased, swaying her hips the way he liked, brushing her fingers down her stiffening peaks.

His groin throbbed in agony for her.

She pressed against him, her nipples teasing against his chest. Her hands tangled in his hair then pulled, dragging his lips down to hers.

He couldn't stop his lips from responding, but a moment later the taste of champagne on her tongue forced his resolved back in place. His eyes searched hers, those hazel green eyes misty with drink.

He growled in frustration and turned away. "We can't."

She was drunk, that was the only reason she was coming on to him. He really wished his morals were lower, but right now they weren't. Pride kept him back, being too proud to take advantage of someone clearly not making coherent choices. Even his demon side rejected the idea, he wanted love from Buffy when she wanted it give it, not while she was incapable of saying no.

Although there was something else swirling in his brain, suggesting things even his demon usually didn't.

"You don't want me?" She asked in a quiet, hurt voice.

"I do…but…" That little pout on her lips was making his knees weak.

She pulled him down again, forcing her tongue deep into his mouth.

He was rapidly losing his will to fight back. '_Just fuck her.'_ Sprang into his mind.

"Buffy..."

"Shut up." She ordered, pushing him roughly down on the bed and straddling him.

_'You're going straight back to hell.'_ Repeated in his head.

_'That piece of juicy ass will be well worth it.'_ The darkness added.

She leaned in, ripping the buttons off his shirt so she could kiss his bare chest.

His eyes closed, his body screaming to sink into her. '_Dick or fangs, just bury yourself in that succulent offered flesh._' That little voice suggested.

His hands moved up her lean and muscled thighs, drawn towards the wet heat he could smell clogging his senses. He hadn't smelled arousal on her in months, and god how he missed it.

She moaned as his fingers found her folds, his thumb messaging her nub, making her rock hard against his hand.

"Angel." She breathed out against his ear, nipping at the skin.

The word sounded like heaven on her tongue.

She shuttered against him in orgasm, slowly pulling his hand from her body and lowering herself over his still clothed arousal. She looked him in the eyes as she sucked his wet fingers, tasting herself on his skin.

He feared he would lose it right there.

Any self-control vanished.

He growled, sitting up and flipping her beneath him.

She giggled, feeling the rush from her orgasm tingling all over her body.

He literally ripped the pants off himself, tossing the shredded fabric away from him as he positioned over his wife.

He nibbled and kissed her neck and scar, then moved down to her stiff peaks, sucking and flicking them with his tongue, making love to her with his mouth. Savoring every taste.

As his lips moved down her body, she felt the cloud of alcohol slowly lifting, her slayer healing sobering her up.

He didn't hesitate as his tongue entered her hot center, greedily devouring her from the inside.

She was gasping out her second orgasm when the fear settled over her again, the numbness from the alcohol vanished.

Her eyes focused on his naked arousal as he prepared to finally sheath it into her.

"Stop." She breathed out, sitting up and pulling away from him. Cold fear rushing over her, almost claustrophobic.

"What?" he asked, his whole body throbbing for her.

"You're right, I was drunk…I'm not ready…I'm so sorry Angel." She said, closing her legs to him, all the while fighting with her mind why.

He just stared at her a moment, "Are you f*cking serious?" He breathed out, shocked.

He felt her arousal dropping like a plane without wings; he knew she was dead serious.

"You should have said no." She scolded him, feeling like he'd taken advantage of the situation.

"I tried, you didn't let me." He defended, clearly remembering being thrown down and straddled.

"You should have tried harder." She countered, mad at him now and herself for being so cold.

"I should have tried harder? You shouldn't have shoved your tongue down my throat!" He yelled.

"I was drunk ok, and horny!" She shot back, "And you didn't try taking the champagne away at all tonight."

"You're horny? How the hell do you think I feel? Damn it Buffy, it's been months. I can't wait anymore." He moved forward, wanting to just jump her.

"You said you were ok with it! That I could have time! That you were patient!" She yelled back, reflexively moving back from him at his advance.

"That was before you used me to get you off!" He yelled, rage flaring as the shock of her denial sank in.

"I didn't, not on purpose." She told him sympathetically.

"So that's it? I'm supposed to just take a cold shower and hold you the rest of the night?" He spat.

"You said you were ok with giving me time." She repeated, seeing he was beyond pissed at the moment.

"Yeah, well maybe I lied!"

"You lied to me?" She asked, hurt.

He growled, "I wanted to believe it Buffy, I tired like hell to…but it's not working, I can't just wait for you anymore." His eyes drank in her bare skin, the flush of recent orgasm on her cheeks, he breathed in deeply her lush scent.

"What do you mean?" She asked, pulling the sheet up around her, seeing the predatory gleam in his eyes.

"This isn't working." He repeated, really wanting to just give into his darker urges and take her regardless of her saying no. Part of him was a little turned on by the idea of her fighting and screaming.

"What isn't working?" She demanded, meeting his hungry stare with a cold glare.

"Us." He hissed out.

"What?"

"I'm near you everyday, I see you, I feel you…but it's like you're not even here. This…whatever we've become, I can't even think straight anymore. To see you and not to be able to touch you…it's killing me. This is why I left you in Sunnydale, I can't exist in some half-life with you. It's all or nothing…and if I get too little...it might as well be nothing at all." He explained, forcing words instead of actions through his mouth.

"So you're saying if I don't have sex with you, you're leaving me?" She outraged.

"What you just did to me? That's inhuman Buffy!" He growled, holding on as tight as he could to his aggression. He felt like hitting her, and that thought scared the sanity back into him.

"I know! I can't help it! I don't want to feel this way but I do! I can't help it!" She reeled, beside herself at how selfish she was acting towards him. It was like every time they started to get intimate, someone was throwing ice on her. As if they were being pushed apart.

"No shit! I can't stand you jerking me around anymore." He turned hotly on his heels, grabbing for clean, undamaged clothes. He needed to leave, before she got hurt.

"You bastard." She yelled out, feeling betrayed by him.

"I'm not saying this to hurt you, I'm telling you because I promised you I'd talk to you. Well I'm talking. The words are bitter and stale on my tongue but I'm saying them.

There's too much going on in my head, there are feelings in here I don't care to address; I'm not that guy anymore. But the more time I spend in this limbo with you, the more I feel that good part of me slipping away.

There's a whole world of evil in me Buffy, and your love is what keeps it away. Without it, I'm losing who I am…and I feel like I'm becoming who I was…and I'm not referring to the broody hero guy.

I actually considered raping Spike in an alley…that's not the guy I want to be." He forced out, fighting his emotions to just take her, sink is teeth into that lovely neck...

"You…what?" She gasped, trying to understand what he'd just said

"I love you Buffy, but I don't think I can be with you right now." He pushed out of his mouth; needing to put as much distance between her and his darker urges as soon as possible before he lost his grasp on them.

"You…can't be with me right now?" She gasped out, "So you're just leaving? What the hell happened to you never leaving me again!"

"It's easy when you're pushing." He answered coldly.

She couldn't speak, she just stared dumbstruck at him. How the hell could he just dump all this on her like that? Completely throw away everything he'd said only the night before and change his story so much? How could she not have seen it?

"You want a push! I'll give you a push!" She screamed and shoved him, angry more at herself but taking it out on Angel.

His hands wrapped around her forearms, halting her. "You don't want to do that." He threatened, something swimming just behind his eyes.

"Don't I?" she shot back, ripping her arms free. Whatever darkness that was pressing at him, her slayer instincts reacted to it. In an instant, she swung her arm, her fist striking his jaw.

He reeled back from the blow, spitting blood from his mouth. As his eyes turned towards her, she was a shadow spread over them, something dark and foreboding.

Suddenly she found herself pressed against the bedroom wall, a crazed sparkle behind his eyes. "You bitch." He growled out, backhanding her.

All at once he seemed to compose himself, pulling back at her shocked stare as she held her hand to the red mark on her cheek.

_'He hit me.'_

"Buffy…I…I'm Sorry…" He apologized, in disbelief he'd just struck her.

"GET OUT!" She yelled in shocked rage, pushing him away from her and grabbing a vase off the nightstand.

In under a second she had chucked it at his head.

He didn't duck.

The glass shattered against his skin, cutting a few deep gashes on his forehead.

His demon face flashed at her, yellow eyes blazing.

Eyes that didn't stay yellow for long.

Rage exploded over him, and for a second, he almost went for her. "You'll regret that you selfish cunt." He spat out, he didn't stop to check the wound as he turned and stalked pissed from the room, grabbing a handful of clothes and slamming the door as he went.

Buffy stood staring at the door a few minutes, trying in vein to shuffle through the mess that just happened.

He angrily pulled on his clothes, turned and punched the wall along the stairs, sending his fist through the material and causing a few pictures to fall and shatter from their mounts.

He wanted to rip the whole house apart, every damn bit of it.

Buffy included.

But he stopped himself…barely.

Taking deep breaths he stormed out the front door, slamming it as he went.

A dark calm washed over him as he felt the trickles of blood drip down onto his shirt, his anger flowing into his muscles, giving him strength to keep walking. A cold smile slid across his fanged lips as he looked out into the warm June night. '_This is for the better; I don't need the cold bitch anymore._' He thought, melting into the shadows.

Had he been looking in a mirror, he wouldn't have seen the feral yellow his demon eyes always bore, but a curtain of black sweeping over his eyes, chasing out the white and leaving only darkness in its place.

…

Buffy stood gaping at what had just happened. It felt like their first big fight all over again, except with more swearing.

She looked down numbly at the one casualty in the space, the shattered remains of it anyways.

The vase she'd thrown had contained the paper roses Angel had given her for their first anniversary. The glass was broken well beyond repair and most of the flowers were crunched or torn from the high velocity impact.

There was a splatter of blood marring the light blue carpet, the red liquid on a few of the shards.

She shut her eyes, '_What is happening to us?'_

When she opened them again, her mind kept replaying the conversation…her actions, how she'd subdued him beyond his refusal, used him to satisfy her desires then brushed him off. '_Why the hell did I do that? That's not me. I wouldn't do that to him.'_ But it didn't change the fact that it happened.

Something wasn't right.

They weren't acting right.

The hex on Oz flashed into her mind, _'What if Oz wasn't the only one under a spell here?"_

Picking up the phone she shoved down the pang of sorrow for the hour and called Giles.

…

Angel stalked angrily down the empty streets, feeling like shit. He hated this; it was tearing him apart inside.

Was he wrong to say those things to Buffy? He didn't know.

_'Do you really care? Kill the cold bitch, just sink your fangs into that throat and suck her dry.'_ Wafted in his head.

All he did know was if being together was killing him, being away from her was beyond hell.

This was worse, he could feel that now. He'd hoped being away would help, let his mind settled without bouncing around every time she entered or exited a room.

But without her near, his mind wouldn't settler for even a second. His thoughts racing and jumping and punching at everything else.

God he felt if he were going mad.

Maybe he was.

His body was still reeling from the almost sex, his head not being able to understand how she could get him so worked up and then just tell him to stop. She couldn't be that cruel.

_'Of course she can, bitches are that cruel...it's in their nature.'_

He had a feeling his junk was beyond blue, a shade unknown to man by now.

Rage crept up his spine, that desire to just rip someone in half was growing.

It made him sick how badly he'd just wanted to f*ck her, not love her, but f*ck her into oblivion. He craved to sink not only his manhood into her, but his fangs too. He'd wanted to drain that bitch of every last betraying drop.

He stopped walking, sensing someone hurrying along a sidewalk opposite the side he was on. He watched predatory from the shadows as a woman speed walked down the path. His nostrils flared, the scent that wafted off her was somehow familiar. His interest peaked, Angel followed, not even realizing he was hunting.

…

Buffy hung up with Giles and cursed to herself over and over. Something was defiantly wrong with Angel and her too.

They hadn't been able to call Willow, her and Oz had their phones off as they enjoyed their first night as a married couple.

Giles had agreed that something was amiss and suggested she her perform the spell she'd used to discover if there was something mystical attacking her mother years ago. The same spell she'd used to discover Dawn wasn't born her sister.

Buffy quickly did as he'd suggested. She'd awoken in the trance and looked around her house, passing a mirror she'd seen a shadow hanging over her. The picture of her and Angel on their wedding day showed the same shadow over her, over him too, but his was larger and much darker.

She'd just finished informing her watcher of the spell results and was grabbing the enchanted handcuffs just in case Angel wasn't going to be cooperative. She had no idea what was affecting them and wasn't taking any chances.

All she knew was someone was screwing with them using magic, and Angel was in danger…or a danger.

She was glad Connor had the kids as she jogged down the street. She figured on foot would be better since Angel had left his car in the driveway.

…

Almost an hour passed, Giles was driving around town as a second pair of eyes as she searched the shadows for her husband. They decided not to call in the rest of the gang yet, knowing almost everyone was either sleeping off a great party or spending time with loved ones.

Not to mention if Angel turned violent, they'd be canon fodder to him.

She was thinking of giving up when she felt a vampire nearby. Figuring she'd take care of it while she was here, she headed down the alley, getting her stake out as she moved.

"Help!" A weak voice called to her from the shadows, slowly a woman materialized, she was being held from behind, the captor still bathed in darkness.

"Ok blood breath, let the girl go. This is between you and my stake." She threatened, seeing the creature's hand tighten over the girl's throat.

A cold laugh dripped from the shadows as the vampire stepped forwards.

Buffy gut retched in recognition.

"Aww, come on Buff, just having a little fun." Angelus's voice purred out, his tones sharp and lethal.

His black eyes shimmered with madness, his fangs red with blood.

"Angel? What are you doing? Let her go." Buffy stuttered out, in shock at seeing her husband strangling a woman in an alley.

"Now why would I do that lover? Or should I stop calling you that…you know the term implies an actual sexual relationship." He grinned heartlessly.

"This isn't you, something is wrong with us, we're under a spell, maybe even a hex like Oz was. Just let the girl go and we can talk, we can fix this." She reasoned, trying to talk him down.

He grinned wider, running his tongue over his fangs and licking them clean. "But I was just getting warmed up." He pulled the woman in closer, licking the bite on her throat.

She pushed down the wave of revulsion at the sight, of her husband lapping the blood off some woman's neck. She almost felt jealous, as if he were kissing this girl, cheating on her right in front of her eyes. She felt another pang at the various bruises she could see on her arms and legs, tiny cuts and welts covering her exposed skin.

She's been torched recently.

_'Not by my Angel, he couldn't have done that. He still has his soul, he isn't evil like that anymore._' She told herself.

"Angel please, just let her go and come to me, we can…" She abruptly stopped talking as a cracking noise echoed off the brick alley walls.

The woman he had been holding dropped lifeless to the ground, her neck twisted at an odd angle.

Buffy's jaw dropped.

Angel had just murdered a woman in cold blood.

"Sorry slayer, were you say something? Didn't hear over that wonderful noise her neck made when I twisted it just right." He smiled, the cold laugh returning. "Man, I never get tired of that."

"Oh my god." Buffy whispered, still in shock at what she just witnessed.

"No not God, Buff. Angel, Angelus, either will due." He looked around and flashed her a cold smile, "Sorry honey, but I've got a schedule to keep. See you soon." And he disappeared back into the shadows.

Buffy shook herself and ran after him, but there were too many shadows…he was gone.

She looked down at the ruined corpse and shuttered.

_'Angel just murdered her...__My Angel...'  
_

_..._

Buffy walked in a trance, absently calling Giles as her mind tried to arrange what she just saw into something that made sense.

"Buffy?" The British voice asked over the line.

"Giles, call the gang in, everyone you can reach."

"Buffy what happened, have you found Angel?"

A tear slipped down her cheek. "I found Angelus."

"Are you certain?" Giles asked, not wanting to believe his ears.

"He just…murdered a woman in cold blood…" She forced herself not to break down; she couldn't afford the emotion right now. She needed to find him, and stop him…any way she could.

"My god, are you alright? Where are you?" He asked, afraid for her. He remembered how Angelus fixated on her when he was free.

She told him where she was and hung up. A few minutes later his van pulled up, she got in and explained everything to him.

"This is bad Giles, epic bad. Vampire Angelus was hard enough, now he doesn't need an invitation and sunlight isn't an issue…I can't kill him Giles…I can't kill the father of my…oh god…OH GOD! Connor's house, now!" She shouted, realizing her children were a target.

Giles realized as she yelled that Angelus needed no invitation, and the old evil vampire's MO was to target those that made him feel human first. His kids would be his first victims.

Buffy quickly dialed Connor's number, praying he answered, that it wasn't already too late.

On the forth ring Connor's tired voice answered, "Hello?"

Buffy quickly explained the situation, Connor growing pale at the idea of Angelus back in the driver's seat. "But how is that possible? I thought his soul was bound, merged…inseparable…"

"He doesn't need to lose it; he's under a spell, just check on the kids, please." She said quickly, once everyone was safe they could worry about the how and why.

He opened the door to the spare room that the cribs were set up in, "I haven't heard anything so…oh no."

"Connor! Connor what is it?" Buffy panicked into the phone.

"They're…gone. The cribs are empty." He glanced at the open window, seeing the glass broken so a hand could reach in and unlock it. "He took them." He said quietly, shocked and feeling violated at his father's betrayal. A tiny sliver of jealousy flared as well, he was also Angel's child, yet he was spared.

…

Buffy, Giles, Xander, Dawn, and Connor sat debating around a room at the 'Sleep Tight' Motel. Giles had suggested going someplace Angel(us) wouldn't think to look for them, just to be on the safe side.

Spike and Faith were capable of defending themselves and had opted to stay home, but went out periodically together to search for signs of the hexed man.

Buffy's eyes were glazed with worry and rage over what her husband had done. There was no forgiving taking their kids. None. She refused to believe anything beyond them being taken…her mind wouldn't let he believe he'd hurt them…it just wouldn't.

She couldn't think her children were dead.

It wasn't Angelus's style anyways, if he'd chosen to kill them, they wouldn't have found empty cribs, she would have found bodies.

That was what she told herself anyways.

The thought didn't help lessen the knot of agony in her chest.

Pushing those thought aside she focused on the mission: Find and capture Angel.

"His eyes were black." She spoke up, just then realizing what she'd seen at home and in the alley but thinking it was a trick of the light.

"What?" Giles asked, looking up from his dusty tome.

"Angel's eyes, there wasn't any white, they were totally black…is it part of the hex?" She asked, hoping Giles could use it to narrow down the search results for the spell.

"It's very probable, I'll look into it." He grabbed another old book from the pile and settled at the small table, paging though it. Not for the first time that night, he really wished Willow was around, her knowledge of the magicks world far exceed his.

"What a time for Will to be AWOL." Xander muttered, realizing the same thing Giles had. An experienced watcher was good, but Willow was the magicks queen.

"She's not AWOL, she's on her honeymoon." Dawn shot back, on edge with her niece and nephew missing and her brother-in-law possibly insane. Not to mention cutting her night with Mark short.

Connor was pacing the small room, feeling like a caged rat. "I can't just stand here, we need to be looking for him." He addressed the group, rallying for action. He was beyond worried for his siblings, but he was afraid for his father too. He knew when this spell was lifted; the blood on his father's hands would mentally destroy him with guilt. The faster Angel was found, the less damage he could do, the fewer strikes he could hold against himself.

"No." Was Buffy's instant reply.

At the hostile glare of "Why?" from her son, Buffy continued. "We know nothing about this spell, all we do know is under it…Angel's capable of murder."

"Angel's crazy and murdering people…where have I heard this before?" Xander mumbled.

Everyone sent him a cold stare.

"Hey, just stating facts guys, I like Angel…well not really, but it's kinda like having a cousin you hate, but well, he's family. All I'm saying is we know this drill." He defended.

"No Xander we don't." Giles cut in, "Angel is not the same man he was, his demon and soul are merged now. His behavior could be radically different especially under the control of a spell we have yet to determine how it works. We're blind about this and Buffy is correct in her decision to…"

"Hide?" Connor cut him off. "Because that's essentially all we're doing. My dad is out there, and he needs help."

"Oh, yeah. I'm sure that's what this is, a cry for help." Xander replied sarcastically.

"Xander" Buffy addressed calmly to her oldest male friend. "Angel's not evil. He's under a spell. He can't control what he's doing, it's not his fault. If I hear anything else from your mouth suggesting otherwise…Angel will be the last of your worries."

Xander accepted the threat and folded his arms across his chest, sitting back and saying nothing else.

After a few awkward quiet minutes Buffy turned back to the gang, "I'm going out to look for him."

"Me too." Connor volunteered.

Just as quickly she shook her head. "No."

"He's my dad!" The young man protested.

"You're also the only one here besides me that stands a chance fighting him. If we both go, that leaves everyone vulnerable. " She stated her point.

Connor sighed, knowing she was right but still anxious to help his dad.

Pulling her son aside, she hugged him tight, "I know Connor…this is killing me too." She whispered to him, sharing their pain.

They spent a few minutes discussing posting a watch and where to concentrate the research.

A few minutes later Buffy shrugged the dart gun over her shoulder and slipped out into the cool summer night.

...

TBC


	44. Darkness Rising, Part 2

Angel's Perspective: Back in the Alley

...

"What have you done to me." Angel's voice growled out as he held the blond woman tightly by the throat, rage rushing through his muscles, making his fingers twitch tighter.

"N-nothing." She forced out, breath becoming scarce.

"Lying bitch." He seethed, "I can smell it on you." In demonstration he inhaled, smelling so many scents on her at once. There was fear or course, in vast quantities, but there was also rose from her perfume, lavender from her shampoo, and the coppery sting of blood where he'd slapped her and slit her lip. She was quickly becoming ripe with the stench of sweat and urine as she struggled in his tight grip. However under all that, the reek of black magicks was still overpowering.

Her blond head shook in denial, "He m-made m-e." She squeezed out, trying to sound innocent.

"Who?" The angry demon demanded, determined to get every drop of information out of this little whore. He could smell sex on her too, a lot of sex, with different men.

She shook her head again, not willing to finger her partner in crime. She was a selfish woman, but her accomplice was powerful and valuable to her firm, if she ratted him out, she was more afraid of her boss than the demon currently strangling her.

"No?" Angel asked, actually feeling glad for her refusal. He hadn't tortured anyone in ages. "Well I guess I'll be asking the hard way." He grinned, finally getting an outlet to all the pent up aggression running its way through his system.

Her eyes watered, but her resolve kept strong…for a few minutes anyways.

...

Pain she never imagined washed over her as Angelus did was he did best, centuries of experience gave him perfect techniques generating vast amounts of pain while leaving the body relatively intact. What would be the point of torture if the subject constantly passed out or died of blood loss?

Through the pain, Heather as he'd found out her name was, not that he really cared, mumbled something from her blood caked lips. She bitten them often trying not to scream.

"What's that dearie, didn't quiet catch that?" He paused in his cutting and his pinching; letting the spot he'd been working bruise a little as he listened.

"No more…please." She whispered though the pain.

"Sure." He grinned, fangs menacing in his jaw. "Just tell me what I'm asking and it all goes away." He didn't exactly lie to her, when he had his information he would make the pain stop. He'd kill this bitch for what she did to him. Death made the pain stop…so not a lie.

Her features scrunched up, both from the agony his hands reaped over her and the sting of raw fear of her employers wrath. "Rayne…his name is…Ethan Rayne." The words slipped from her mouth, like she was offering up her very soul.

His lips pulled back in a sharp smile. "See, was that so hard?" Now the floodgate was open, he was getting every drop from her mouth.

Within minutes she was spilling everything to him.

He listened with varying degrees of rage at how she'd sent the portal to remove Buffy from the picture, her plans with Wolfram & Hart to capture the offspring born of a living vampire and a slayer. She told at his painful insistence where they were based, about the security guard, Nathan Jackson, that patrolled the area, of Rayne's contribution to the spells running though him and Buffy, spells that amplified the grief and anger of losing a child.

They hadn't caused Buffy to miscarry, they'd only taken advantage of the situation that the event has caused between them.

As a fail-safe, if the portal didn't kill the slayer and it was reopened with the spell Rayne magically altered in Willow's book, the hex on Angel would be transmitted disguised as part of the spell, in the form of twin serpents.

The spells worked in tandem, Buffy's feelings of emotional isolation cutting him off from the supply of love that quelled his demon's rage. In a week or so when his rage became too much, he would kill Buffy in her mentally weakened state and deliver the children to Rayne.

They hadn't counted on Angel's ability to bottle and ignore vast reserves of anger so well. Nor had they counted on Buffy's will to conquer her emotional distance. Numerous spells had been weaved over the slayer to keep her love away from Angel, to keep the hex growing as it fed on the sexual frustration that increased within him.

The madness that rushed Angel at the memory of agony caused by the hexed serpents as they injected the spell into him nearly coaxed him to take her head then, but the thin grasp on his sanity still held. He'd survived and retained his sense of being during a century of torture in a hell dimension; you didn't accomplish that being weak minded.

It was Buffy's love that kept that mess of emotions wrapped together, he'd been lacking it lately, but the weakening strings still held.

For now anyways.

"Why?" He spat out, slamming her against the brick wall in a blind rage. "Why my kids?" Everything evil wanted a bite of out him and Buffy, that was nothing new. Being the good guys automatically made you a moving target for the bad guys; but the kids were innocent.

She just looked back at him and he understood.

It was for the same reasons so many wanted Connor when he was born. Katie and Liam were impossible, perhaps not so much as a child born of two vampires, but still two unique occurrences. That alone made them valuable, desirable to those of the occult and demon worlds. Think of the possibilities of capturing the children of the most powerful slayer, her power held in the hands of those holding her child hostage. The evil world had lost interest with Connor, many deterred by his growing up in a demon dimension. Most had wanted him as a baby, that was where the real power was, in the young, the innocent.

Angel bared his fangs; he couldn't hold back the rage at the thought of anyone using those kids as leverage against him.

They were _His_, Buffy was _His_…no one messed with what was _His_.

No one.

His fangs sank into her throat, more of an outlet for rage and a show of dominance that a desire to feed.

He pulled back as a familiar scent entered his nose, Buffy's scent.

She was nearby.

_'They want me to kill her, I can feel it in my head. I'm not their weapon, I don't take orders._' He stuffed the desire to kill Buffy deep down, burying it in the vast reserves in his mind. '_If they want me to kill her, then she needs to know it. She needs to see I'm not in control, she needs to know I'm the enemy.'_ Angelus stalked from the shadows and grinned to his wife, playing along as he traded banter with her, his finally killing Heather Thorn to show he was serious.

Disappearing into the night, he knew his kids were a target, and he would get to them first.

Buffy was good protection, but not if she was distracted fighting him.

Connor's home was easily broken into; stealing the sleeping tots was child's play.

Angel glanced down at the two in his arms, the hex in his mind wanting to draw him towards the warehouse on Greenview that Heather had told him about. The spell wanting him to give them up to Wolfram & Hart.

_'Like hell I will_.' He shoved the idea away. "Mine." He whispered to the sleeping children, his arms tightening around them possessively.

He knew if his mind failed to defeat the spell, that he'd lose them. He knew he couldn't allow that. Walking quickly he knew a place they would be safe from anyone willing to take them, a place even he couldn't retrieve them from without suffering a fast death for trying.

…

Now:

...

Buffy walked the empty streets, searching for her husband along the darkened shadows.

...

Rage filled black eyes scanned the grounds, taking in every detail.

He knew the one he was looking for was nearby.

He could feel it.

He skirted the light, staying lost in the sea of shadows.

…

Hazel green eyes scanned the darkened alley.

Something didn't feel right.

She felt eyes watching her.

…

Angel's gaze landed on his target.

The lone figure walked with a purpose down the empty alley, not a car or person in sight.

Slowly he inched closer, making sure he stayed downwind and kept his footfalls silent. He knew how to stalk, he'd had over a dozen decades of practice.

Jumping up, he grabbed the fire escape of a nearby building and shimmed up and moved like a cool breeze roof to roof until he was directly above the victim.

With a smirk, he jumped down.

…

Buffy twirled the stake in her hands, more out of habit that anything else.

The feeling of being watched was getting stronger, and it really pissed her off.

Suddenly she felt a shift in the wind, something was approaching, fast.

With a rush, a body nearly slammed into her.

On autopilot she spun, sending the stake into his chest, right in the sweet spot, heart.

The vampire shrieked out a death screech and crumbled to dust.

Resuming her walk Buffy sighed, "Where are you?" She whispered to her MIA husband.

…

The man yelped as Angel landed in front of him.

"Hi there Nathan, I'm looking for some information. You're going to help me. Understood?" The living vampire grinned, clamping a clawed hand painfully over the security guard's shoulder.

Nathan Jackson visibly paled seeing the misshapen demon face staring inches away. "Oh God!" He yelped, never actually seeing a vampire in person before.

"Been hearing that a lot lately." Angel smiled.

…

After patrolling fruitlessly for an hour, Buffy headed back to the hotel.

When she entered, everyone was still in the same positions. The arrangement may have changed but everyone was still researching diligently.

"Buffy, good timing. I do believe I've discovered something." Giles addressed her as she walked in.

"What's up?" She asked, leaning against the chair he sat in.

"The type of Hex Angel appears to be under is very specific in its design. The weaver chooses an emotion to attach the spell to and as that particular emotion grows, so does the strength of the spell. Whoever spent it, they've been playing you both into their game. They work a spell here and there to get the desired results, mostly is seems is a constant increase in the tension between you and Angel. When you got close to alleviating the emotional pressure, they'd send another spell to goad you away." Giles explained. "I am unable to ascertain which exact emotion is being used, however you should be able to determine it based on how Angel's behavior has changed lately."

Buffy bit her lip, digesting the info and racking her brain for a specific 'smoking gun'. "I don't know, I mean at the wedding yesterday everything was fine. We laughed and danced and drank champagne…he was fine."

"This spell must have taken days, even a week to manifest fully, something happened recently that must have triggered the hex to strengthen beyond his control. You must know, Buffy."

She shifted uncomfortably, hearing the details made her positive the 'event' in question was her sudden sobering and denial of sex after completely goading Angel into it. She knew now that she was being controlled by a hex too, a different type than Angel's. Her spell seemed to strengthen over her anxiety over having sex, that irrational fear of losing another child.

She nodded, "I think I have a pretty good idea about what the trigger is. Unfortunately knowing that doesn't help us find him."

"I may be able to help with that." Dawn spoke up, her fingers working tirelessly on her laptop.

Buffy's interest was caught instantly. "Really? What've you got Dawnie?"

"The woman found dead in an alley earlier this evening has been identified as Heather Thorn. Check this out." Dawn clicked a picture and on the screen and showed them all a pretty but rigid looking woman in a business suit.

"That would be her." Buffy confirmed.

"Yeah, and guess where she works?" Dawn asked, pulling up records on the computer as Willow had taught her.

The symbol at the top of the webpage showed a wolf, ram and deer.

"Wolfram & Hart." Buffy spat, knowing all that company did to her husband made her sick.

"So dad killed this woman who worked for the company that tried to kill him…I'm not seeing the bad." Connor commented.

"Murder is murder Connor, she may have worked for evil but we have no proof she was. All we do know is she was human." Buffy countered.

"Looks like she recently leased an old factory building on Greenview Ave, its local." Dawn observed, thinking that might be a good place to start looking.

Buffy nodded, "I'll check it out."

"I'll drive you, it'll be quicker." Giles insisted, grabbing his keys.

"I'll just hang here…" Connor shot angrily, wanting action.

"No." Buffy interrupted, "I want the rest of you to head back to AI, find out how to break the spell. Connor, I'm counting on you to keep everyone safe. Ok?"

With that said Buffy and her watcher headed out to Greenview while the gang packed into Xander's car and headed for AI.

…

Angelus's blacken hex filled eyes gleamed in rage as he stalked into the warehouse, determined to kill Ethan for what he'd put him though. No one used him, not as a weapon or as a delivery service.

The man in question sat unaware at his chair in a small office, looking lustfully at a framed photo of Heather Thorn.

"Ethan Rayne…shouldn't you be sharing the bed of some overweight prisoner somewhere?" Angelus greeted the man he hadn't seen in years as if talking with an old friend. Buffy had told him of his meddling in her life over the years he'd been in LA.

Rayne hadn't left a good impression with the demon since the incident with Eyghon. Toying with Buffy hadn't improved his likability.

"Angelus, how good of you to come, although it is considered rude to show up empty handed." The British sorcerer greeted back, a little disappointed he wasn't baring the children.

"It's also considered rude to hex a guy, so I'd say we're even." He shrugged, rage swirling just beneath the surface.

"Ah, yes. I do wish you hadn't have noticed that." Ethan confessed. At the aura rage flowing off Angel, he realized it was he the anger was directed at. '_Oh dear, I do hate when a plan falls apart_.'

"I'd ask for an apology, but you won't live long enough for it to matter." The angry living vampire seethed as he stalked forwards, eager to release that urge to snap a neck on the guy who sent it to him.

"I'm expecting my associate to arrive at any moment" Rayne offered, "She and her firm are rather protective of me."

"I was already disappointed in your security guard…he wasn't very helpful." Angelus commented, he hadn't killed they guy, just stuffed him in a dumpster with one hell of a concussion. Maybe he broke a bone or three, he wasn't really paying attention. The guy hadn't been part of the plan.

"Well good help is hard to find these days." The Brit shifted.

Angelus grinned in his anger, "The girl. Pretty, blond, about yay high." He held his hand up to where Heather Thorn has stood right before he snapped her neck.

He watched in delight as Ethan's face paled. "Heather?" He whispered.

"I wouldn't be expecting her, she ran into someone earlier." The demon smiled. "Me."

"I assume you killed her?" The British spell caster asked, standing to face Angel.

"She tried to kill what's mine first." He grinned back. "I'm the only one allowed to do that."

"She didn't deserve to die." He countered.

"Your not going to tell me she was an innocent are you? I could practically smell the blood on her hands. I did the world a favor. At least myself one anyways." He scoffed, having no mercy for anyone trying to take what was his.

"You evil bastard!" Ethan shouted, he may have only started sleeping with Heather as a way to up his stature with Wolfram & Hart, but she had intrigued him and soon he believed he may have loved her.

"How's if feel to have your pussy taken off the menu?" Angelus countered. "Sucks, doesn't it?"

At Ethan's lack of responce Angelus shrugged, "Hey, you wanted me evil…now you've got me evil." A cold smile revealed sharpened fangs, a tongue hungry from blood sliding over his lips. "Any last requests?"

Composing himself, Ethan shook his head. "In light of new evidence, I regret to inform you my contract with Wolfram & Hart is severed with Thorn's demise. So now you demon filth, go to hell." The sorcerer finished but pulling a a 9mm handgun from his robe pocket.

Now free of his contract, he could kill Angelus consequence free.

Angel rushed forwards, the boom of the bullets and the zipping noise as they flew past him didn't even register in his mind. All he saw was Ethan.  
Red colored his vision, he wanted blood. A rage so pure it burned along his body, he felt it sparking on his skin and flaming all the way down to the bone.

"Thanks, but I've already been." The vampire countered as he changed forwards.

Within seconds his hand was reaching out for his target, as he reached for Ethan's neck, his left hand exploded in pain as a bullet tore through it and lodged in his shoulder.

Angel didn't stop, he didn't feel the other bullets as they buried into his flesh. All he saw was the bastard that tried to use him to kill his own family, that tried to suck his wife and son into a hell dimension, that tried to steal his children and use them as lab-rats…he wanted revenge for that, but mostly, he wanted to rip Ethan Rayne apart for his direct role in getting him cock-blocked over and over the past week.

The pops of gunfire went unheard through the rage Angelus finally released from confinement. He only saw red, he only felt the sting of anger exploding on his skin, he wanted Ethan's blood, and he wouldn't be denied.

The hex was fully manifested, he'd lost control.

...

When Buffy reached the recently rented warehouse, she told her father/watcher to stay behind her as she handed him the dart gun.

Gunshots suddenly echoed from within the large metal walled building and any careful planning Buffy had been thinking vanished without a trace as she turned and rushed in through the back door.

She hated guns. Also, it was unlikely Angel would be the one using it, thus he was more likely the one being shot at. That thought made Buffy run faster.

...

Rayne gasped back in shock as the bullets did nothing to stop the advancing demon. He wanted to use magic, but too much of his strength was investing in the spells around Buffy and Angel, he didn't have the power left; thus the gun.

He didn't have time to think before Angelus had him in his claws, one hand tightly cutting off the flow of blood to his brain. "Be glad I've got a soul Rayne, otherwise I would have taken my time with you."

"Please." He whispered out, not above begging for mercy.

"You wanted me to snap a neck boy, accept the consequence of it being yours." With that said, he did.

The sorcerer's eyes widened as his neck broke, then those menacing eyes half closed in the extreme disinterest only the dead saw in the world.

Angel had barely dropped the corpse when he was body slammed.

He reeled back as a fist impacted his jaw, throwing his demon into battle mode. With a roar of anger he lashed at his attacker, claws extended and out for blood.

The attacker was fast, dodging better than most, through the haze of red still clouding his vision all he saw was a blur of motion and weakly felt blows raining into his adrenaline rushed body.

When he finally scored a hit, the scent of the blood halted his next blow sparing his attacker a potentially deadly knock to the head but leaving himself open to a sharp blow to the gut.

His knees nearly buckled as far more pain the logical resulted from the hit, causing him to stagger back and pant for air.

"Angel?" Her voice was heavy with concern, far more than she should have for someone trying to kill her.

He forced his eyes open, his vision milky from the rage and pain, but Buffy's face came into focus.

In those hazel-green eyes he saw the love he'd been denied watering in them. Her spell must have been broken by Ethan's death.

His wasn't.

However small it was, he felt a thin grasp on his control, a tiny sliver in the raging madness.

"Get away from me you cold bitch." Slipped from his mouth, he didn't want her anywhere near him; he was losing his grip on the rage. He wasn't going to let Rayne's spell beat him, Buffy wouldn't die by his hand.

He refused to be a weapon, to be used. He'd rather die. And might yet.

Her eyes refused to break contact with his, her will trying to penetrate the darkness. "Thorn is dead. Rayne is dead. It's over Angel; you don't need any more blood on your hands."

He glanced down at his hands, seeing the red stains covering them. He then noticed the blood wasn't theirs. He touched the material of his black shirt, feeling it wet with the crimson liquid. "What do you know, bastard was a better shot than I gave him credit for." He mused sadistically.

Buffy's eyes moved to his shirt as her mind suddenly realized both Heather Thorn and Ethan Rayne died rather bloodlessly, their wounds superficial. There was far too much blood soaking her husband's clothes to be from them.

Then she remembered, she'd heard gunshots when she entered the building. He must have been hit.

It was Angel's blood.

And there was a lot of it.

He staggered back, breathing hard, now feeling the gunshots he'd ignored earlier in his rage. With the adrenaline fading, so was his strength and the larger the red blossoms on his shirt got, the colder he felt.

"You're bleeding." Buffy addressed seriously, her voice high with worry and fear. She moved forwards anxiously, seeing his cheeks growing pale.

His blacken hex filled eyes returned to her face, as if to memorize it one last time. "Yeah, that tends to happen…when you get shot." He slurred out, finding the world suddenly swaying, his eyes lost focus as he collapsed.

"Angel!" Buffy yelled, rushing forward and dropping beside him. Immediately she pulled his shirt up, checking for the source of the blood.

In the center of his gut, there was a small hole, crimson liquid steadily oozing from it with every beat of his heart. Glancing around quickly, she found two more small holes, one high on his chest near his left shoulder and another in his right thigh. Her hands clamped down on the two bloodiest, applying pressure to squeeze the veins shut and stem the flow.

Giles ran into the room seconds later, having heard Buffy yell Angel's name. "Oh dear." He whispered, seeing Rayne's body and his daughter hovering over her husband's limp form.

"Buffy? What happened? Is he…?" He trailed off, hoping for the best but expecting the worst.

As he neared he could see Angel's chest rising and falling in rapid, shallow breaths. He could also see the ample blood drenching his shirt.

"Ethan shot him." She said quickly, more focused on slowing the bleeding than having a lengthy conversation.

"Right." The watcher understood. "Let's get him to the van quickly."

...

Angel Investigations was only 15 minutes away, but time seemed to stand still to Buffy as she watched Angel grow paler in her lap. She didn't know if the paleness was caused by the steady blood loss or from the flush of a fight receding from his cheeks, but either way it sent a rush of anxiety though her system.

Her watery eyes focused on his fangs, realizing he'd been in vamp face ever since he'd left home hours ago.

Her mind wandered to the body, one Giles identified in passing as the one and only Ethan Rayne.

She realized when Ethan died, she'd felt a rush wash over her, as she sat with Angel's head cradled in her lap it donned on her the feeling was the spell on her breaking.

Gone was a fear and coldness of being intimate with her husband, it was now replaced with fear he'd bleed out before they reached AI and the coldness his skin felt against hers.

...

Slowly the world began to refocus, he'd shut his eyes a moment and when they opened again his head was in Buffy's lap.

Angel felt as if he were watching the world from underwater, the sounds and pictures blurred and distant. Her face came into focus, her lips moving but making no coherent words. He saw panic and fear cross her features, felt the sharp rush of pain as her hands pushed down on his wounds, trying to stem the bleeding.

But the reasons didn't matter at the moment, all he could acknowledge under such basic brain functions was she was causing him pain. Fight or flight mechanisms snapped on, and he couldn't run at the moment, that left fight the only viable option.

Buffy saw the raw attack flash in his eyes just before he lunged at her. Slayer instincts pushed her emotions down as in a quick jerk her fist impacted the sweet spot on his jaw, snapping his head back and knocking him out cold.

She suppressed a tear as he went limp again; knowing having him fighting with her now would increase his heart rate, which would make him bleed faster. Blood from the bullet wounds in his gut, shoulder and leg was already soaked into his clothes; he really couldn't afford to lose much more.

"Giles, drive faster." She encouraged her watcher as she once again put pressure on her husband's injuries as Giles sped them towards AI. Thankfully Angel had remained unconscious while they dragged him into the van, but luck hadn't kept him out for the whole trip.

He stayed down this time.

…

Buffy snapped the cuffs attached to the operating table shut around Angel's wrists and ankles as Cassidy ran into the room with a tray of tools.

They were in the Med-ward, having just arrived and secured the unconscious but thrashing living vampire to the table.

After a nearly 30 minutes of steady blood loss, Angel's violent spasms were weakening.

"Cass?" Buffy questioned in a high scared voice, seeing the heart monitor bleeps growing farther apart.

"I need to get these bullets out; he can't begin to heal with them in place." She protested, trying to find the bullet in his abdomen with a pair of long tipped forceps.

"Won't matter if his heart stops!" Buffy panicked.

"His heart won't stop, and his lack of moving is rather helpful at the moment, get me the suction tube, I think I see it." Cass ordered, pushing a string of intestines aside as she rooted around behind the muscle.

Giles was informing the gang on what happened while the two worked to stabilize Angel.

"Got it." The MD cheered as she pulled out the small deformed projectile, dropping onto a steel pan and hearing the metallic clank.

She slapped a bandaged over the wound, already seeing signs of unnaturally fast healing and told Buffy to keep the pressure on as she inserted an IV into Angel right arm since his left shoulder and hand had gunshot injuries.

"Ok, that aught to pep him up a bit." She assured Buffy as the blood began to seep through the tube and into his vein.

A moment later, she began searching the second gunshot in his shoulder. "Ok, I see it, it's deep…shit, I can't tell if it nicked his lung or not. I should be able to…" she stuck the end of the forceps in reaching for the bullet.

Angel's blackened eyes suddenly snapped open as the tip of the forceps brushed the nerve cluster in his shoulder and caused his arm to spasm. In a cold rage he screamed and thrashed, fighting his bonds and the pain throbbing from each of the multiple gunshots.

A mix of English and Gaelic swearwords rained from his mouth between wordless screams of frustration and pain.

Cass pulled the instrument out, afraid of paralyzing the limb as he writhed, his moving delaying any treatment for the injuries.

With a shout he yanked at his handcuffed left arm again, the steel at his wrists biting into the skin. The bullet shifted against the rib bone, the jagged edge nicking the main artery and sent a spray of blood out onto Buffy's face.

She blinked in shock a moment as with each beat of his heart, another jet squirted out.

"F*ck! That artery ruptures completely; he bleeds to death in under 15 seconds!" Cass warned, trying to hold him down.

The slayer gasped and instantly slammed her hands down on her husband's chest and arm, forcing them still.

He roared out in rage, the hex still burning through his mind and pushing at his sanity.

Cass quickly grabbed a clamp to pinch the artery shut, but he was still jerking under the slayers grip.

After a second, his body suddenly relaxed, his eyelids fluttering as if he were trying to stay awake.

Cass paused at the unexpected relaxation and feared a moment he had bleed out, she turned and spotted Connor pulling a syringe from the IV line.

"Makes it easier?" He asked.

Cass sighed in relief that he'd gone still from drugs and not blood loss, "Much, thanks."

A few minutes later, she managed to cauterize the bleeding artery and pried the bullet from the rib just below his collar bone.

Buffy sat silently by the bed helping pass tools to Cass and sewing up the wounds after the bullets were removed. Connor worked to clean the bloodstains from his father's skin and rub generous amounts of disinfectant into the wounds.

Cass pulled one more bullet out, from his right upper thigh.

Angel's left hand had a hole in the middle where a bullet had blown through before lodging in his shoulder, there were also two minor flesh wounds where the bullets went though and a few grazes where the projectiles just nicked him.

All in all, when if came to a fatal hit, either Ethan was a lousy shot, or Angel was good at dodging.

As Cass moved to repair the damage to his hand, Buffy moved to wrap his leg in gauze.

"Oh, umm, this needs to come off, his hand could swell and it can cutoff blood flow to the finger." Cassidy easily slid the ring off with blood as a lubricant and placed Angel's wedding band in Buffy's palm.

She nodded and closed her hand tightly around it.

...

About twenty minutes later Angel's wounds were bandaged and Cass was re-checking the monitors.

"Ok, I think I stopped at least 80% of the bleeding." The MD announced as she wiped her hands on a cloth.

"80%? What about the other 20%?" Buffy panicked.

Cass shrugged,"Well he was gut in the gut, there is bound be some internal bleeding. I fixed what I could see but unless I pull everything out and explore..." She trailed, to emphasis the work involved. "I'm 90% positive his healing will solve the problem soon anyways."

"But he's still bleeding?" Connor asked, looking worried at the still form bound to the table.

"His vitals are good, not great, but considering he did just have three bullets removed and bled a generous amount onto my floor, he's doing pretty well. I'm going to give him some more fluids, a vitamin boost and plenty of blood. Trust me, his demon side is in overdrive from that spell right now, those wounds will be closed in an hour or less." The doctor assured them.

Buffy and Connor nodded slowly, trusting Cass's instincts.

...

Connor went back upstairs to re-join the search for the kids and a way to break the hex on Angel while Buffy sat beside her husband. She gently removed the birthstone pendent Angel had given her for mother's day last year, this year's had been swept under the rug due to the miscarriage. He'd offered to get her something, but she made him promise he wouldn't, she hadn't wanted to celebrate, it had been too soon for her.

Holding the charm in her hands she laced the silver chain though Angel's wedding band, letting the now clean ring hang with the Claddagh style heart. She glanced at the two little stones, a tear forming for her two missing children and wondering where they could be.

Angel knew, and when he woke, he would tell her.

He wouldn't have a choice.

...

TBC


	45. Darkness Rising, Part 3

…

Buffy sat in the confinement cell they'd moved Angel into as a precaution.

They didn't need him getting lose and tearing up the Med-Ward as he did shortly after Liam's birth, when after a fight with Buffy and getting thrown though a glass wall his demon side went nuts.

She watched her spelled husband as he slowly awoke. The black orbs shifted in her direction, even without pupils she knew he was staring right at her.

"Hey." She smiled at him, "Feeling better?"

He growled, a hateful scowl marring his face. "Let. Me. Go." He spat, each word growled out one at a time as he forcefully yanked on the enchanted cuffs.

"Your not really in a position to make demands, but I happen to be, so Where. Are. My. Kids." She demanded, husband or not, motherly instincts wanted to beat the info out of him.

A cold smile crossed his lips, "Now, now, that would be telling." Inside he was laughing at the tiny flake of power he held over her.

"Damn you!" she yelled, turned and punched the door. It was a thick steel door but it shook with her force, but didn't dent. She vented out her frustrations then turned to look back at him, forcing herself to keep a neutral face. _'It's not his fault he's under a spell, he can't control the darkness in him.'_ She reasoned.

He was tugging at his bonds again, the repeated motion not allowing his wounds to heal quickly and re-opening the wound on his shoulder and in his gut, making them slowly trickle blood again.

"Stop it, you're reopening your wounds." She said quickly, not being able to fully mask her concern for him, hurrying beside him to try and keep him from moving.

"Can't." He growled out, the hex buzzing about in his head full throttle. Just as he'd expected, he felt an overwhelming compulsion to kill. Fighting that compulsion was getting harder and harder. He had little gaps of clarity, but there were equal gaps of 'kill the bitch, kill the bitch!'.

"You can, just stop moving." She countered, trying to hold him still.

As her hands touched him, he sat up with a roar, "Don't touch me!"

His arms and legs were still tightly cuffed, but his chest was free, giving him just enough give on the chains to allow sitting almost fully up. The wound in his gut tore again, quickly soaking blood into the bandage.

"Get away from me! I can't…" He shook his head, fighting for control, "…I can't think straight…I feel myself slipping…couldn't let them stay…too much danger…danger from me…loosing control." His breath was coming in fast pants now, the strain and pain conspiring against him.

Buffy stood pole still as he'd spoken, her heart constricting as she realized her husband was still there, fighting with all he had.

"Angel…we'll find a way to fix this, to break the spell. Just keep fighting for me, ok?" She spoke softly to him, wanting with all her heart to wrap her arms around him and make his pain go away. Before her mind realized it, her lips spoke, "I love you."

He paused in his struggles as his black eyes turned towards hers, "Why don't you try saying it with your pussy? Until then, GET YOUR STUBBORN CUNT THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND BREAK THIS F*CKING HEX!" He screamed, wildly yanking at his bonds.

She gasped a little, not used to that kind of language from him, especially not directed at her. She backed away at his outburst, a little afraid of the sudden out pour of hostility. She quickly pushed the button on the IV machine that Cass programmed to inject a sedative.

A moment later, Angel's thrashing and screams decreased as the sedative rushed through his system, relaxing his muscles and clouding up the rage in his mind. "Bitch." He mumbled out as he flopped back onto the bed, his stomach now covered with blood from the seeping wound.

Tears threatened to roll down Buffy's cheeks at his condition, but practice made her able to force them away.

"Get away." He mumbled out, his black eyes glassy, half-unconscious. "Not safe."

She stepped forwards after a moment, seeing he was now in a restless drug induced sleep, and placed a light kiss on his brow. "We'll figure this out Angel, I promise." She turned and quickly left to find Cass to treat his ripped open wounds.

…

It had been an hour of pacing and staring and not knowing.

Giles was exhausting every resource he could get his hands on, either looking for the missing children or finding a way to break the hex on his son-in-law.

The rest of the gang was doing the same; taking turns going out looking or calling hospitals and police stations for found toddlers.

Buffy paced without pause, her mind whirling. _'He said it wasn't safe, that he was a danger, that they couldn't stay…did he take them someplace because he knew he'd try to hurt them?'_ She wondered, her mind not allowing her to even consider that he'd stolen their children just to kill them.

"Giles…you said the spell was feeding and growing off his emotions right? In his case, anger." She asked her watcher.

He turned and nodded to her, "Yes, the hex was designed to strengthen with his darker side's rage, resentment, irritation, frustration, annoyance…any negative emotions really."

"So what would happen if he wasn't angry anymore? Would it break the hex?" She asked, having a thought run through her mind.

"I don't see how you'd manage that…he's rather irate at the moment." Giles countered.

"I think I might know how this started, the 'root cause' of his aggression. He said some things when we argued that…well they didn't jive with what he'd said only a day before. I think it was the spell getting to him, he was telling me things that were happening to him."

"Such as?" The watcher inquired, interested.

The other in the room stopped their paging though books to listen too.

Her cheeks tinted, "Ahh...well…um…It's private." She stuttered out, embarrassed to discuss her sex life, or lack-there-of for the past months with everyone staring at her. She knew them not making love for the last few months had weighted on him, but the hex coupled with the 'almost sex' in the past few days what was really threw the spell into full gear.

"It's the not having sex thing isn't it?" Dawn asked, not bothering to blunt her words when she realized only her, Faith and Willow knew that details and the other two weren't present to address the issue.

Buffy sighed heavily, "Yeah, just go ahead and blurt that out why don't you..."

Xander nodded his head, "Well that would make any guy edgy." He agreed lacking sex could cause aggression, especially with someone who usually had a steady flow if it regularly. "Wait." He said quickly, his brain catching up, "Are you saying you're going to what…hump the happy back into him?"

"Not my choice of words." Buffy sent him a bland expression, "But if I can ease the pent up sexual frustration…it's just a theory."

"A bad one!" He countered. "Have you noticed Angel's a little on the side of out-of-his-mind? You can't seriously be thinking of sleeping with him like that!"

"He's my husband, I'm a slayer…that gives me clear morals and the strength to knock him out of he's too aggressive." She defended.

"It's a bad idea!" Xander shook his head. "He's vamped! How gross is that?!"

"Rayne had been spelling me to keep us from being together, if he wanted us apart, then getting together seems the most logical path to breaking the hex." Buffy reiterated. "It's all I've got at the moment." She sighed, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone.

"And if it doesn't work?" Xander pressed.

Buffy shrugged, "Maybe I can sweet talk some info out of him, make him blurt something while his attention is diverted?"

Giles stood, "Well it's not exactly a traditional plan…but you said it yourself, we've got nothing else. Your theory has merit, if the hex is feeding off his frustrations, removing it might break it or a least lessen the effects. Please do be careful Buffy, he's not in control of his actions."

"You're keep the handcuffs on right?" Dawn asked, a little nervous for her sister's safety. She'd seen Angel's rage, she knew what he was capable of.

Connor chose for that entire conversation to be deaf.

"I'll deal with the hex, you guys keep looking for my kids." She said to end the uncomfortable conversation and headed off to change into something more seducing.

…

Buffy slipped back into Angel's solitary confinement room, grateful for the privacy. She wasn't sure exact how this would turn out, but either good or bad, she didn't desire witnesses.

He was heavily sedated still, Cassidy having re-sewn the torn stitches from his earlier outbursts and loaded him up with antibiotics to eliminate infection from a gut injury and given him more replacement blood.

Her hand slid under the sheet and pulled it back enough to expose the new bandage. Peering under it, she found his healing had finally gotten the chance to catch up. There was only a minor laceration and some diminishing bruising to indicate where he'd been shot. She checked his other wounds and found them either completely healed or nearly there.

'_Well at least he's physically fit for duty.'  
_

Taking advantage of him still being unconscious, she removed the catheter as Cass had shown her and slipped the IV from his arm. Now all she had to do was wait for him to awaken.

_'Then the real fun begins_.' She muttered nervously in her head, still trying to decide if this really was a good idea or not. She knew her husband was was an excellent lover, but she knew nothing of his darker side's tastes. With this spell in place, she'd more likely experience Angelus in the raw. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. It's not like she never had rough sex with Angel before, but she had a gut feeling this wouldn't be similar in the slightest.

…

Ten minutes later Angel's cold black eyes slid open, it only took a moment for them to hone in on Buffy sitting calmly in the chair across the room.

"Come to take me up on my offer?" He asked with an empty smile, figuring it would push her buttons.

"Actually." She said, standing up. "I did." At those words, she let the robe she was wearing fall, revealing her tanned skin and nothing else.

His reaction would have been comical if his eyes hadn't been completely black curtains of malice. However, she had to admit the way his jaw fell open did send an internal chuckle through her funny bone.

"Uhh…what?" He stuttered a moment, completely taken off guard, but then the hex controlled anger surged back in. "You're bluffing." He snapped out, pissed as ever.

"No bluff, just buff." She punned.

"Nice try bitch." He glared daggers at her, wanting to feel her blood running down his throat for teasing him so bluntly. There was no way in hell he was letting her jerk him around again, as soon as these cuffs were off, he was snapping that whore's neck...maybe after a quick f*ck or two.

"Keep calling me that and I'm leaving you here with your hand, and since it's handcuffed to the railing right now it won't help you much." She shot back, coming closer. _'This isn't going to be fun is it?'_

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He growled out as she climbed up on the bed, slowly crawling up over him.

"You." She purred out, leaning down to whisper in his ear, "unless you'd rather be alone." She was nervous being within biting range, but was relying on his attention being someplace else.

He glanced at her neck as she closed in, thinking it would be easy to just grab a mouthful...but those bare breasts were just hanging there...looking so suckable..."You've been leaving me out to dry for months, jerking me around, using me for your selfish desires, why the sudden change of heart? Why should I believe you?" He questioned, too intrigued by the sudden reversal (and all the exposed skin) to bother paying attention to the rage.

"Funny, you don't usually talk so much when I'm naked." She mused, trailing a finger down a cuffed muscular arm and leaning in to use her position to attract his eyes more.

He scowled, "I swear Buff, if you're f*cking with me…" He started to threaten before she cut him off.

"That's exactly what I'm doing." She finished before taking a gamble and plunging her tongue into his fanged mouth.

He bit down hard on her tongue, amputating it before she could even blink, spitting the bloody stump in her face and laughing at her.

It's what went though her mind for a second anyways, but thankfully it's not what actually happened.

His mouth devoured hers, welcoming her tongue as a long lost lover.

Almost instantly she felt him reacting to her. Lust, pure and raw and hungry for more vibrated off him. She was sure if his hands had been free, he would have taken handfuls of her bare skin into his palms, greedy for more.

She'd kissed him with fangs before, that wasn't new, but her tongue did feel at risk dancing over the sharp teeth. She almost pulled it out when he purposely nipped it.

Her hand slipped down under the blanket, her fingers quickly bringing him the rest of the way up.

"Suck it." He hissed into her ear, starving for her touch, screaming for it.

She'd known this wasn't going to be like their usual lovemaking, she knew he'd be crass. She hadn't thought he'd be that ballsy with the phrasing.

Figuring she'd swallow her pride for this, and probably something else, she obliged him. She was determined to break the hex, and if that meant enduring some harsh language for a few hours…she would.

…

"Uncuff me." He ordered once she was done cleaning his pipes, his release still hot in her mouth.

"Not happening." She denied, sliding back up his body and straddling his waist.

He felt her hot core moist on his stomach, he wanted to reach out dominate it, her. He wanted to invade her juicy folds with his tongue and eat her alive, suck every bit of wet honey from her depth.

He rattled his immobilized hands, "Uncuff me or go find a vibrator to shove up your tight cunt. I'm not acting as your personal jerk off machine again."

A defiant expression crossed her lips, "Unless you haven't noticed, I'm the one in charge." She slid down his body and rubbed herself against his groin. "And you don't have the ability to say no."

His traitorous body reacted to her pleasure against his will, his member rising like helium filled balloons in desire of sinking into her heat.

He growled out a low tone of disapproval of her actions. Or maybe it was approval...he wasn't sure himself.

"You know the growls only make me hot." She teased, rubbing against him more.

"Fuck me." He commanded, pushing his hips up against her bottom, dying to feel her tight heat around him.

She grabbed something off the small table beside the bed and unwrapped it.

"What is that?" He asked, straining to see.

"Something you won't like." She teased, palming the condom and slipping in over him, taking her sweet time.

He growled but said nothing.

Planting her hands over his pecks, she sank her nail in and leaned forwards, finally granting him entry. "You better hold on." She grinned out, and took him for one a hell of a ride.

…

She hadn't even realized he'd snapped the chains binding his hands until they were around her throat.

A shot of panic raced over her as he flipped her onto her back, using his body placement and weight to pin her down.

His black eyes glared down at her, the fangs in his mouth looked especially sharp. "Now what?" He grinned, trying to decide whether to just to snap that pretty little neck or sink his teeth in...or maybe something more erotic first?

"You tell me." She seduced out, trying to get his focus back on sex and less on killing her.

His dark eyes wandered over her a moment, still trying to decide whether to f*ck her into oblivion of just eat the manipulating slut.

She lifted her leg, running it teasingly along his. "I'm at your mercy…you could do anything to me…and I couldn't stop you." She acted scared, bad porn acting, but still.

That swung his vote.

His lips took place of his hands on her throat, nibbling roughly at his mark. She tensed a little when she felt his fangs graze the scar, drawing a little blood which he eagerly lapped up.

Angel's now free digits wandered over her chest, taking greed handfuls of breast and kneading the soft flesh, taking special interest in the peaks in the center. Tugging and pinching them into attention. His mouth moved down to replace his fingers, sucking in a mix of pleasure and pain at her sensitive tips. Once again he took a small sample of her blood as he 'played'.

When he'd had his fill of her chest, he wandered down lower, sampling the flesh every few inches, leaving little hickeys along her stomach. She was glad her express healing would get rid of those in a few hours.

She spread her legs invitingly as he slid down between them, looking at her naked flesh like a thirsty man looking at a glass of water.

She moan in a mix of pleasure and pain as he did as he pleased to her body. He wasn't exactly a gentleman down there, but he certainly couldn't be called selfish when it came to pleasure.

When he finally came back up for air, she let out a small cry at the loss of his mouth on her exposed flesh. Evil or not, he could please a woman.

Once he finished dominating her body, he was about to get to the main attraction when she held up another condom under his nose.

"No." He denied instantly, not willing to have anything between him and his flesh.

"Yes." She insisted.

"I said no!" He growled, daring her to disobey him.

She didn't disappoint. "I said yes because if you remember I threatened to give you an at home vasectomy if you knocked me up with a child in diapers still and so help me I will make good on that threat!"

He glared back at her, black eyes boring into her.

She took that brief pause as close as she would get to consent and ripped the package open, slipping it on very slowly and doing it a pleasurably as possible.

He groaned in response, then the second she was done, she found herself being hammered into the mattress.

…

'_Has it been hours?_' Buffy wondered, feeling the pain in her body after giving him nearly free range for so many rounds she lost count. Other then forcing the issue of protection, she'd not said no to anything he'd wanted, and he'd wanted a lot. She wasn't exactly comfortable with everything he'd done, but if it meant breaking the hex, she'd endured.

She turned her head and noticed his eyes were shut. _'Did I finally wear him out_?" She wondered. The exciting thought of _'Did the hex break?_ Rushed her brain.

"Angel?" She called lightly, brushing her finger's though his hair and looking into his face, hoping to see the yellow eyes that accompanied his demonic visage, not the blacken hex filled orbs.

It was the later she saw when his eyes fluttered open.

Her heart fell in her chest, "But…I don't understand…I thought if I relived the sexual tension, it would break the spell." She blurted out, not understanding why it didn't work.

"So you only f*ck me to break my hex? You selfish bitch!" He growled, once again wanting to just eat her and get it over with.

"No you stupid bastard! I 'f*cked' you because I love you and want to break the spell on you! Why would I bother if I didn't love you?" She yelled back, angry at him and the spell and the world in general right now.

"Because you want me to tell you were your brats are…" He realized, anger flooding back again. She'd just used him again, for information, for her own person needs. He was going to kill this bitch once and for all.

"Yes! Of course I do!" she yelled out, but her tone lowered as she continued, "Because I want us to be a family again…I want my husband back, I want us to raise our children together and have our life the way it was…" Tears were streaming down her cheeks, the salty drops soaking into the sheet as they fell from here eyes. "I want you free from this darkness, so you can love our children, so you can love me…so you can be happy again…and if that makes me a selfish bitch, then fine, I'll wear the crown with pride."

He stared at her a long moment, unable to move at her tears.

Tears of love she was shedding for him.

A small hole appeared in the wall of rage and anger, and Angel jumped though it.

She suddenly felt his weight atop her again, his body pressing her back down into the mattress. She figured he got turned on by her crying and was giving her a last quick f*ck before he ripped her throat out.

Except his touch was different.

Gone was the raw sexual hunger, the lust and the roughness.

He wasn't f*cking her, he wasn't even have sex with her…he was making love to her.

His lips were soft on her throat, kissing his mark on her neck. His hands were gentle as they cupped her breasts and eased into her growing heat, bring only pleasure and no pain. His tongue was sweet in her mouth, lightly exploring.

Her legs wrapped around his waist, giving him silent permission to enter her. She noticed for the first time that night, he'd been waiting for it.

Gone was the near violent crashing as they coupled earlier, now he was slow and steady and passionate. They moved together, letting love not lust direct them.

It had felt like hours before they finally went over the edge together, that release far greater and stronger than any they'd had all night.

He rolled off her, panting slightly at the exertion of so much sex in so little a time span.

"Are you ok?" She asked worried for him, seeing his breathing elevated she feared maybe he hadn't been fully healed yet.

He pulled her close, hugging her against him. "Perfect." He smiled, his black eyes no longer reflecting hate and anger, only love.

It was then she noticed his face had finally shifted back to human.

She smiled back at him, leaned down. "I love you." She breathed against his lips and captured them again, flooding his mouth with the words.

When she finally let him draw a breath, he repeated the words to her, running his fingers along her cheek and brushing a wild lock of blond behind her ear.

The moment was ruined as he gasped as if socked in the gut, the breath forced from his lungs.

"Angel!" She yelped, not understanding what was going on.

He rolled away from her, clutching at his head and retching as if he'd hurl. A moment later his body stiffened as he threw back his head and yelled in pain.

Twin tendrils of smoke seeped from his eyes, black tears running down his cheeks and joining with the mist. From the swirling smoke two snakes formed in air, the small duel ghostly bodies writhing in agony as the hex was broken.

Anger killed by love.

Within seconds the smoke dissipated and Angel collapsed back onto the bed, shaking with the effects of the spell lifting.

She watched as the snakes vanished, then quickly moved to her husband's side. "Angel? Are you ok?" She asked, running her fingers along his cheek.

Slowly his eyes opened in response to her touch, and she nearly wept at the sight of those beautiful chocolate brown orbs. He had to shut his eyes again as she rained kissed over them, celebrating the spell breaking.

They embraced as he caught his breath again, glad the spell was broken.

_'So it wasn't just relieving the sexual frustration, he needed to feel my love.'_ She realized as she held him. A smile crossed her lips as her remembered that last round, how wonderful if felt to make love again. It had been months since they'd last shared that closeness.

The smile vanished when she realized he hadn't been wearing protection that final time. They'd forgotten.

She pulled away, worry creasing her brow.

"Buffy?" He called, feeling her tense and move away.

"We forgot protection." She said quietly, a little mad at herself for remember every other time but then.

He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her back again him. "Not a problem." He assured.

She looked at him, "What do you mean?"

He chuckled, "After all that? There is no way I'm not shooting blanks by now." he confessed. He just knew he'd used up all his sperm reserves at least three rounds ago.

"Are you sure? Or are you just saying that so I don't try and give you a vasectomy here and now?" She countered.

"If you conceive from that...I'll let you. How's that for confidence?" He offered.

After a moment she nodded, "I believe you." A second later she added, "And I'll be accepting that offer if your wrong."

He nodded and kissed her cheek.

After a moment Angel spoke, "549 River Crest Ave, apartment 19."

Buffy pulled back and looked quizzically at him.

"The kids, it's where they are." He explained.

"Oh." She understood, ready to get up and run out the door.

"Wait, they're being guarded." He warned.

"Not a problem." She stated, willing to kill anything they stood between her and her babies.

He shook his head, "It's a Mu-onna demon. They're spirits created from the pain a mother feels when she loses a child. They are fiercely protective of children, and nearly impossible to kill. As their biological mother, she'll give them to you, but don't bring anyone with you, they'll be killed on sight." He'd seen it before, over a hundred years ago, Mu-onna's would even kill the father to get to a child.

"Is that why you brought them to her? Because if you tried to hurt them she'd stop you?" Buffy asked.

He nodded. "She wouldn't think twice about ripping me or anyone else who tired to touch them in half."

"I could have protected them from you." She countered; still mad he took them to begin with, even if he was under a spell and trying to protect them.

"I know, but Buffy, I couldn't take that risk, that I might've hurt you first…or that you could've hesitated in stopping me for a second too late…plus you were under a spell too, I couldn't trust either of us under the circumstances." He addressed his reasons. "Plus if you were busy fighting me, Thorn or Rayne could have come for them while we were distracted."

She nodded, understanding his reasoning, but wouldn't truly forgive him until she had her children safe in her arms again.

"You're ok now?" She asked him, noticing how tired he looked.

He nodded, "Yeah, just tired."

"Typical guy, give him some attention in the bedroom and all he wants after is to roll over and sleep." She joked, feeling some relief for the first time all day. She wouldn't be fully relieved until she had her kids back.

He snorted, "Add in having a hex scrambling your brain for a week and healing from multiple gunshots and you'd be exhausted too." He defended back.

She leaned down and kissed over his still racing heart.

His arms wrapped around her and held her close, them both just letting their bodies slow back down.

"Later, we need to talk." She muttered against his skin.

He nodded, "Yeah, we do."

She wanted to get up to go get the kids, but she also just wanted a few minutes of this...just being close to him again.

Under her ear she heard his heart rate slow and felt his breathing even out. Sitting up she smiled down at him already sound asleep.

"I love you." She whispered, leaned down and pecked his cheek, giving him a warm smile as she gathered her robe and went to get the kids.

...

His eyes slip open not long after she left.

He laid there for a few minutes, letting his mind filter over the hours of dark memories. He remembered the look of horror on her face when he'd killed Heather Thorn in the alley and when she'd seen Ethan's body. He thought about their time together in that very bed under 30 minutes ago, the things he'd made her endure.

He shivered in revulsion at what he was capable of.

He tossed and turned but found no position that would allow him sleep. Without Buffy here, his body just wouldn't settle.

Exhausted, but unable to rest, he searched the floor for the clothes Buffy had discarded hours ago.

Then he remembered, he hadn't been wearing any. His only clothing had been the sheet covering him in bed. The pants and shirt he had worn were soaked in his blood from the gunshot wounds and cut from his body while Cass was repairing his injuries. They'd been tossed hours ago.

Reminded of the forgotten injuries he explored the now healed but still red marks. His shoulder was a little stiff, but his gut and leg were good.

The one in his hand had left a faint circular scar he knew wouldn't fade. In truth, he was surprised he'd regained function of it completely at all, once again he sent thanks to his demon for supplying him with such a lifesaving healing ability.

It was then he noticed his wedding band was missing. He ran his right hand over the naked digit, wondering where it had gone. He couldn't remember taking it off, unless he'd lost it in the fight. With a heavy heart he turned his attention back to finding garments.

Seeing nothing else, he wrapped a sheet around his waist and snuck from the confinement room, he headed towards the elevator, wanting to get to his office and change into a clean set of clothes before anyone spotted him.

He didn't know if Buffy had informed the gang he wasn't evil anymore, and he really wasn't in the mood to be tackled and chained up again.

Getting in the elevator his hand pushed for the ground floor instead of the penthouse offices. As his bare feet carried him towards the cafeteria he realized why. He was starving.

He'd been there for ten minutes just picking on half a dozen ingredients before he finally quelled the hunger enough to actually make the sandwich he came in for.

Under a minute later said sandwich was gone.

He quickly made another and grabbed a bag of chips while he was at it, stuffing then in a to-go box and heading upstairs.

"Oh crap! How'd you get out?" Xander yelped when Angel came through the back door out into the café, he'd been heading down to raid the fridge too.

"I'm not evil." He sighed out, not even bothering to pause.

"Where are you going? Where's Buffy?" Xander insisted, unsure whether he should knock Angel out and tie him up or let him go.

"My office. Picking up our kids." He answered the questions as he walked down the hall, Xander following at a healthy distance.

"How do I know you're not lying?" The younger man countered, puzzled at seeing him wrapped in a sheet and holding a food box.

"If I were evil, I'd have eaten you just to shut you up." He replied, annoyed from exhaustion...and Xander in general.

Xander paused and thought that over, "Huh, true."

While Xander was contemplating, Angel pushed the elevator call button and entered the car when it arrived.

Xander looked at if he were going to follow, but quickly decided being trapped in such close quarters with a possibly evil Angel was near the top of his, 'how not to die' list.

Leaving the younger man behind, Angel made it back to his office without encountering anyone else.

He shut the door and leaned against it a moment, feeling drained. He forced himself to change into the clean clothes he had stored in the closet and expand the loveseat out into a bed. He grabbed a blanket and pillow out of the closet and proceeded to drop into a restless sleep.

…

Buffy stood outside the door of the address Angel had given her. _'Ok, he wasn't evil anymore, right? I'm not walking into a trap.'_ She told herself, but felt unease standing in the hallway looking at the door. '_My kids are in there._' She justified as she knocked on the door.

A moment later the door opened, but she saw no one. Cautiously she entered, glancing around the small kitchen she entered into and looked across the studio apartment to the living room. She instantly focused on Katie sitting on the floor with a stuffed bear in her hands, laughing.

"Katie?" she moved forward to grasp her child.

Without warning she was tossed across the room with incredible force, an ear bleeding screech issuing from something she couldn't see but could defiantly feel.

She hadn't realized she'd closed her eyes, but when she opened them she gasped. There was a woman holding her against the wall, a woman with no face.

"You have such sorrow…the pain of loss heavy in your soul." The Mu-onna whispered, though Buffy didn't know how without lips to move.

"You have my kids…you'll feel the pain of loss heavy in your arms of you don't give them back." The blond slayer countered, shoving the creature off her, ready to fight to the death if need be.

"Such grief…I want it…give it to me!" The demon rushed her, a black hole-like mouth forming on the blank face.

_'So staking Angel's ass when I see him."_ Buffy thought madly as she dodged the grief spirit.

Suddenly Buffy was struck still, immobile.

'_Oh shit.'_

The Mu-onna hovered around her in a circle, the mouth making a sucking noise all around her.

Buffy struggled to move, but she was completely paralyzed.

"So much…so full…I can take no more." The creature muttered as her mouth disappeared again, leaving a blank nothing no face once again.

Buffy found herself free, collapsing to her knees at the sudden release. She popped to her feet and looked around, seeing nothing.

"Mommy!" She heard duel voiced call and felt small arms wrap around her legs.

Taking the opportunity she grab her kids and quickly left the creepy apartment.

Once back in the SUV she checked them over carefully, kissing and hugging and letting go of the fears she'd felt over their safety. They were in perfect shape, not a scratch or a bump or even a frown.

On her way back to the office, she realized she felt lighter, and not just because her children were safe. The soul crushing pain from her miscarriage was nearly gone.

'_She sucked out my grief…fed off it…I can't tell if I'm relieved or pissed.'_ She thought as she drove.

A horn beeped at her and she swerved back into her lane. "I hate driving, almost as much as it really hates me!"

…

Buffy was on her way down to the Med-Ward to find Angel when Xander came running down the hall followed by Connor.

"Buffy?" The dark hair man paused, looking surprised to see her and with the kids.

"Xander, Connor." She greeted back, "What's up?" She asked seeing them rushing.

"Ahh…well…um…" Xander stuttered.

"Xan thought dad was evil and did something to you, we were grabbing a dart gun." Connor clarified Xander's lack of words.

The darker haired man looked embarrassed, "What was I supposed to think? You could have told us the hex was broken…it is broken right?"

She winced, realizing she forgot to tell them he was normal again. "Yes, it's broken. Sorry, but when he told me where the kids were...it became priority #1."

Connor nodded, "They ok?" he asked, both for their concern and to keep off the subject on _how_ the hex was lifted. He loved having siblings, he didn't love thinking about where they came from.

"They're perfect." She assured, kissing each on the cheek.

"Eww." Katie smiled, wiping at her cheek. Liam copied.

"What! Mommy kisses are not Eww!" She scolded at the idea.

Looking up and seeing the room her husband had been in was empty she asked, "Where's Angel?"

The boy turned to Xander.

"Umm, he was in the café, said he was going to his office." He supplied.

Buffy shook her head, "Should have known he'd go for food first."

"Daddy?" Katie asked, looking around for her father. Liam joined in too.

"Let's go find him, ok?" she asked, taking her kids to the elevator.

When Buffy was gone, Connor punched Xander in the arms.

"Ow! What the heck!" Xander yelped, rubbing his bruising arm.

"Don't tell me my dad's evil when he isn't."

"How should I know?" He countered.

"He was eating food and not people." Connor stormed off, pissed at himself for believing Xander.

...

Connor spread the word Angel was hex free and the kids were back so his parents wouldn't need to be disturbed.

…

Buffy slipped into Angel's office and saw him stretched out on the sleeper sofa. Katie wriggled from her grasp and she put the two toddlers down so they could run around and explore.

"Daddy sleeping?" Katie whispered, knowing the drill by now.

"Yeah, go play, ok baby?" She told her, running her fingers through the dark brown locks.

She kept an eye on them as they pulled toys from the toy-box, Angel had made for Katie's birthday, in the corner.

She glanced towards her husband and sat on the edge of the bed. He was lying on his stomach, face buried in a pillow, the blanket half covering him.

He had been tossing when she entered the room, he seemed settled now.

Out like a light.

She adjusted the blanket and rubbed her hand over his back, feeling the tension in the muscles. '_Brooding in his sleep._' She figured. She leaned down and lightly kissed his head.

She glanced over and saw a box sitting on the table, peeking inside she found a sandwich and chips. '_Well, he's sleeping…I'm sure he won't miss this too much.'_ She grinned and stole the food, feeling her belly rumble for it.

Letting him rest, she sat on the floor with the kids, eating and playing with them, catching back up on family time.

…

She was a little worried when he was still asleep two hours later. By then Katie was getting cranky, needing a nap and Liam was asking for lunch.

Angel awoke abruptly as Buffy rolled him onto his back and placed a near tantrum stage Katie on his chest. "She need a nap, you're napping. I'm bringing Liam down to the café, Ok?"

He nodded, wrapping his arms around his daughter. "Can do." After a second he looked over at the table and saw the to-go box gone. "You ate my sandwich?" He accused to his wife.

She shrugged, picking up Liam, "Don't leave food you intent to eat outside your belly."

With that said she slipped out the door.

He chuckled and shook his head, then glanced down at his teary eyed child. "Shh, no tears baby girl." He told her, wiping them from her eyes.

"Daddy nap?" she asked, looking at his heavy lids.

"Yeah, daddy nap. You?" He asked, rubbing his hand up and down her back soothingly.

She shook her head but couldn't stop the yawn from escaping.

"No huh? Well I hope you don't mind if I do. I'm tired." He spoke to her, feeling her relax despite her denial.

He shut his eyes and waited, feeling her pout over being left out of the sleeping loop.

She lowered her head down onto his chest and closed her eyes, mimicking him.

He felt her fall asleep less than a minute later.

Grinning he kissed her crown and let himself fall back to sleep too.

…

Buffy fed her always hungry son and made up a little care package for Angel and Katie.

Dawn came into the cafe while Liam was munching a cookie and the sisters talked for a while, staying a healthy distance off the hex and everything that surrounded it.

When the resident slayers began pouring in for lunch, Dawn hugged her sister and nephew goodbye and headed back home to catch up on some lost sleep and Buffy retreated back to the privacy of the upper offices.

When Buffy opened Angel's office door the first thing she noticed was the sofa bed was empty. "Angel?" She called, picking up Liam in case there was trouble. "Katie?" Looking around she saw no sign of them. She felt around the room with her senses but felt nothing back. "What the heck now?" She mumbled aloud. Really hating when people weren't where she left them.

She headed out and paused in front of the nursery room door, hearing a cry from inside she quickly opened the door and found the missing persons she was searching for.

Angel looked up as he finished changing Katie's clothes, the tot's eyes streaming tears. "She had an accident." He said quietly to Buffy as she came over, Katie was really upset about it. The little girl liked to think she was completely potty trained already, but sometimes she slipped. She was only 2.

"It's ok sweetie, you're still my big girl." Angel smiled, picking her up off the changing table. They'd tried putting her in pull-up diapers, but she hated them. When they weren't looking she'd discard them and run around commando. Thus when an accident happened, a change of clothes was in order.

Buffy relaxed, seeing everything was getting back to normal.

He put Katie down as she wigged and she ran off back to Angel's office to where her toys were. Now that she'd napped, she was eager to get back into some hard core playing. Buffy put Liam down and he followed his big sister.

"Sorry, didn't mean to worry you." Angel apologized once the kids were off, seeing she'd been a little freaked when she opened the door.

As they walked back to the office to supervise she shook her head, "Don't be sorry, just be where I left you."

"Ok, next time you change the pee pants." He countered.

"You need to change your shirt too." She pointed out, seeing the wet spot over his stomach.

He groaned and opened the closet for another shirt, then unbuttoned the soiled shirt and tossed it in a bag to take home to wash.

While he was shirtless, Buffy slid up beside him and looked over the healed wounds. "No scars this time?" She asked, only seeing fading red marks.

He held up his left hand, "Just this one."

"Looks like a car cigarette lighter burn." She commented, taking his hand and examining the healed bullet hole. Her fingers trailed over his ring finger, a little strip of untanned skin marking where the jewelry usually sat. "Cass removed it, in case you're hand swelled. She didn't want to have to cut it off." She explained why the wedding band was missing.

He nodded, having wondered where it went.

She pulled her necklace from under her shirt and he saw his ring dangling from the chain beside her claddagh charm.

"I was wondering where that went." He smiled as she unclasped her necklace and removed the ring.

"Didn't see it earlier, huh?" She teased, knowing while she was nude he hadn't been looking at her necklace.

At that, the brooding brow appeared on his forehead again. Those dark memories resurfacing.

"It's not your fault Angel, you were under a spell." She began, not wanting him to go down that road again.

He shook his head, "I know, it's...I...that's not what's bothering me."

"Then what?" she asked, leaning against him while putting her necklace back on and holding his ring.

He pulled away and sat on the sofa bed, looking over at the two toddlers playing on the floor.

She silently sat beside him and rubbed her empty hand along his back, waiting for him to talk to her.

"I killed two people Buffy." He said quietly, he turned and met her eyes, "And I don't regret it."

"I'm sure you don't mean that..." she started.

"But I do." He continued, still watching the children play. "I still believe in good vs evil and right from wrong...but a line was crossed. Thorn and Rayne, they tried to kill you and they tried to get me to do it. That was bad, but it wasn't punishable by death.

But they went further, they wanted to take our kids. There is no redemption for that, there is no mercy or forgiveness. Someone comes after my kids...I'm going to kill them...and I'll sleep like a baby afterwards."

He glanced over at her and saw the indecision on her face, she was unsure about what he'd said.

"I've lost so much in this world...I'm not going to lose them. I understand **we** have responsibilities to the forces of good, the powers that be, whoever they are...I know that **we** walk a fine line everyday between life and death.

But they don't. They're innocent. If that means I need to taint my soul and bloody my hands to keep them safe, I will. No one is ever going to touch one hair on their heads while I still draw breath.

Maybe that's my possessive side talking, maybe it's the champion...I don't really care where the sentiment comes from. All I care about is they **will** grow up and have normal lives. They **will** stay safe and I'll gladly drag anyone who threatens their well being to hell with me."

"I don't believe in killing humans...but if one goes after my babies...I'll rip them apart too." She spoke after a moment. "That's called being a parent."

She leaned closer and he wrapped an arm around her as they watched their children play.

They were silent a while before he spoke again, "I'm sorry for how I treated you."

She shook her head, "You were under a spell, I can't blame you for how you acted so I can't accept an apology."

"Accepted or not, I'm still giving it." He placed a light kiss on her shoulder as he sat behind her.

"Then I have to apologize for being so cold towards you, for being a tease."

With a minor grin he repeated back, "You were under a spell, I can't blame you for how you acted so I can't accept an apology."

She turned her head and looked up at him, "Well you're getting it anyways smart-ass."

"Ok, so we're both sorry, we've both apologized...what's left?" He asked.

She took his hand in hers and slipped his ring back in place. "Everything goes back to normal and we live our lives?" She suggested.

He smiled and kissed her cheek, "I like that plan, let's go home."

She turned and captured his lips, wrapping her arms around him and running her fingers though his hair.

He leaned closer, deepening the kiss and pulling her onto his lap.

"Mine!" Katie yelled to her brother from behind them, pulling her stuffed pig from his hands and causing the younger boy to burst into tears.

The moment was ruined and broke the kiss.

"Well you did say everything back to normal." Angel mused.

Buffy rolled her eyes, "Shut up." She muttered hiding a grin, getting up to comfort her bawling son.

Angel grinned and went to scold his daughter and re-teach her the word 'share'.

...

End, for now.


	46. Home is Sometimes Hardest, Part 1

I do not own the dialog in **Bold** in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or "Angel". They were created by Joss Whedon and belong to him, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar Television, Kuzui Enterprises, 20th Century Fox Television and the WB Television Network. Everything else is mine...all mine...

Clips taken from Buffy, Becoming Part 1 and Angel, The Prodigal.

* * *

September 1, 2007

* * *

"Hey." Angel greeted as he dropped down beside Buffy on their couch.

"Hey." She greeted back, putting down her magazine.

"So." Angel began, "Do you remember that talk we had about Ireland?" He knew she did, they've been talking monthly since he first brought it up.

"It's that time, isn't it?" She pouted, not wanting him to leave.

"Kinda is." He pressed, really feeling the pressure to go.

"Why now? Is there something special about Ireland in the fall?" She asked, try in vein again to get him to change his mind.

He thought a moment, "Well, winters there can be brutal, summer is a high traffic season, lots of tourists. Spring and fall are fairly mild weather, fall a bit drier than spring. I'll have to hike to get to my old village, rather not walk in a downpour."

"Yeah, please don't get sick when you're half a world away from me." She snuggled against his chest, the memory of him nearly dying back in March still haunted her occasionally.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, hugging her closer. He knew the idea of him leaving was giving his wife anxiety and he hated it.

She wasn't thrilled about having her husband so far from her and for so long, they really hadn't spent more than a day or so apart since they starting dating again back in May 2004.

"I'll only be one button away." He assured, holding out his cellphone. "I'll call you everyday, twice a day…three if you want."

"Four?" She teased.

"Ok, now you're just being clingy…" he joked.

Instead of smiling, she frowned.

"Hey, I was kidding." He clarified, kissing her cheek, thinking he hurt her feelings."I'll call you ten times daily if you want."

"It's not that. It's…this will be the first time we've been apart…I won't have my favorite pillow for two whole weeks. How will I sleep? How will the kids react?"

He pulled her closer and rubbed her back, "How can you miss me if I don't go away? As for the kids, just tell them the truth, I'll be back before they know it."

"Yeah, that will go over well." She replied with a sarcastic glint.

"Then tell them daddy will bring them presents when he returns, but only if they behave for mommy when I'm gone." He suggested.

"Doesn't help my lack of pillow dilemma." She muttered.

"Use mine." He offered.

"What if I have some other kind of sleeping issues? Like the intimate kind?" She pouted.

He smirked evily, "We could try phone sex."

She slapped his chest, "Pervert."

He just grinned and went to kiss her cheek.

She turned her head so instead of her cheek, he kissed her lips.

She deepened the kiss, drawing him in, which didn't take much persuasion.

When they pulled apart for breath, she mumbled huskily, "You better make sure I'm well sated before you leave…or else I'm liable to come find you."

He smiled at that, "Count on it."

…

The following day Angel checked his suitcase again and finished packing a few last minute items.

"Buffy? Have you seen my red silk shirt?" He asked when he heard her enter the room behind him.

"Umm, no." She replied a little too fast.

He turned and raised an eyebrow at her, "Really?" He questioned with a doubtful expression.

Her pose betrayed her, "You can't take that one." She countered a moment later.

He folded his arms lightly across his chest, "And why's that?" He questioned.

She shrugged, "It's my favorite."

He grinned, "Mine too, thus why I was asking for it."

"Still can't have it." She denied, arms folding across her chest in defiance.

He chuckled and shook his head, "Fine, hold on to it for me then, I'll be wanting it when I get back." He relented, knowing she wanted it to 'snuggle' with while he was away.

…

After weeks of slowly letting 'daddy leaving' seep into the kids heads, it was finally time to head to the airport.

The car ride wasn't long, but the 'impending doom' Buffy felt thought the ride made it even shorter.

When Angel pulled the SUV into the closest available parking spot Buffy had to almost physically push her anxiety away. '_Gees, Buffy, get a hold of yourself…It's not like you didn't survive years away from __Angel__ already.'_ That thought wasn't as comforting as she'd hoped it would have been.

She busied herself with unbuckled the kids from their car-seats as Angel grabbed his suitcase and carry on bag.

The walk into the airport was mostly silent between the adults, but the kids were chatting away at all the new sights and sounds.

Angel halted, scooped up his daughter and stood at the railing with Katie held tightly in his arms, her little feet resting on the banister as she stood and watched in awe at the planes landing and taking off.

Buffy watched with an uneasy feeling, Liam's hazel green eyes glued to the planes as they slid across the sky back and forth.

"Daddy, fly that?" The two and a half year old asked.

He smiled and kissed her cheek, "In one, just a passenger honey, I leave the flying to the professionals."

"It scary?" She asked, chocolate brown eyes wide.

He shrugged, "A little."

The idea that something scared her daddy was frighting to her.

At her look of fear he quickly changed his answer, "But they are completely safe, no need to worry, I'll be back before you know it."

"Promise?" She asked, not happy about her daddy not being there to tuck her in at night or read her stories.

He picked her up off the railing and hugged her tight while continuing to walk to the terminal, "Promise." He agreed.

He heard Buffy grumble _'You better be'_ under her breath.

…

At last, his bag was checked and he had his boarding pass. Now he stood at the line for security and knew this was the worst part, saying goodbye to his family.

"You could still change you mind you know." Buffy tried, hating this more every second.

"Wish I could." He confessed. He didn't want to go…but something was pulling at his conscious, he needed this, whether he wanted it or not.

"Be safe." She urged.

"As houses." He replied, bending to kiss her.

She wouldn't let go of his lips, almost hoping to convince his to stay with her tongue in a way without words.

He regrettably pulled away. "I love you, nothing will ever change that." He whispered, kissing her lips, then down her cheek to her neck. It was as close to goodbye as he dared to say.

She nodded, a tear slipped from her eyes but her hand wiped it away before he could notice.

He knelt and drew Katie into his arms, a second later Liam too. He hugged them tightly, knowing he would miss them something fierce.

"Daddy loves you more than you'll ever know." He said to them, both of them in tears at the prospect of daddy leaving.

"You read bedtime story!" Katie cried.

"Mom tells excellent stories." He countered.

"No, you!" She sniffled.

He grinned, "Ok, then I will. I can't use my phone on the plane, but I'll call the second I land. I'll read to you over the phone, Ok?" He appeased.

She sighed, she shoulder falling like Buffy's did when she was upset. "I guess."

He laughed inwardly, '_She's so much like Buffy it's scary sometimes._' He thought.

He turned to his son, "You'll be the man of the house for a few weeks, Liam, you up for it?" He asked the almost two year old.

Liam blinked and a tear ran down his face, "Daddy stay!" He sniffled.

Angel heart wrenched in his chest, "I'll be home before you know it, take care of your mom and sister, ok buddy?"

Liam didn't really understand the request, but nodded, tears still stinging his eyes.

Angel stood and handed Liam back to Buffy, the baby immediately latched on her to and buried his face into her shoulder.

Katie wrapped her arms around Angel's leg and refused to let go.

"I'll call as soon as I can." He told his wife, "If you need me, call whenever, day or night."

She nodded, pouting at full power.

He leaned down and kiss her lips, "Hey, I'll have none of that. I want the last image of my wife for two whole weeks to be a happy face, not a frown."

She relented and gave him a smile, it didn't quiet reach her eyes, but it was the best she could muster under the circumstances.

"That's my girl." He grinned at her attempt.

"Always." She whispered back.

As gently as he could, he pried his daughter off his leg and Buffy held her hand while Angel grabbed his carry on.

"Love you." He waved, and headed through the gate before his resolved failed and he went running back.

Buffy would have waved back, but the kids occupied her arms. Once he was gone, she held Katie's hand tightly and walked back towards the car with Liam resting on her hip.

"Come on, we can watch daddy's plane take off from outside." She bribed as she walked the reluctant toddler dragging her feet beside her.

…

Standing at the same railing she had with Angel just under an hour ago, she stood with her two children, her arms wrapped tightly about them as they stood on the railing looking out at the planes.

"Which one daddy?" Katie asked, looking at all the planes.

Buffy looked over and read the numbers on the tail end, "Hmm…that one." She pointed to the one of the far end.

After a few minutes, his plane began to back out of the station and position for take off.

Buffy looked on with heavy anxiety as the plane carrying the love of her life sped down the runway.

A second later, it soared up into the sky.

A sigh escaped her lips, knowing he was safely off the ground.

They watched until it disappeared into the clouds.

"Two weeks, then we'll be here watching daddy's plane land, Ok guys?"

The two youths pouted then began to cry.

'_Oh, the next two weeks are going to suck.'_ She thought tiredly as she carried her children back to the SUV.

* * *

Almost two weeks later - September 12

* * *

Buffy tied the short, nearly see through robe and opened the door for Willow to enter.

"Ok, I'm ready." The slayer told herself and the witch.

She had been trying to talk Willow into sending her to Ireland for almost a week, and now it was finally happening; she was more than a little nervous. She knew her Wicca friend was a very capable witch, but still, there was a lot of distance for something to go wrong. She waiting until the kids were in bed, an early night at that, and figured she could be back by late the following morning Cleveland time, figuring the 5 hour time difference would only help.

"Enjoy Ireland." The redhead winked, knowing Buffy was likely to see nothing beyond Angel's hotel room window, if that.

Buffy pushed the nervousness away and focused on the fact she was seconds from seeing Angel after nearly two weeks of nothing but hearing his disembodied voice over the phone. She craved for his feel, his warmth, his touch.

With a splash of vertigo, she suddenly found herself standing in darkness.

Thinking she left Cleveland around 8pm, it would make it 1am in Galway. Angel should be asleep by now…unless he's been running on his more demonic sleeping patterns…

_'No'_ Buffy decided, '_he always calls me during daylight hours here, and the place he's been visiting requires light to find._' The internal debate turned out to be for naught anyways, she knew he was here. She could feel him.

Slowly making her way across the unfamiliar room, her eyes adjusting enough to avoid walking into anything, she spotted the bed, and a familiar form lying prone on it.

With a smile on her face, she slowly slid onto Angel's exposed back, running her hands along his arms as her lips trailed kisses along his spine.

_'Since when does __Angel__ sleep on his stomach?'_ she wondered briefly.

His muscles tightened under her touch as he woke. "Hmm? Buffy?" he wondered sleepily, half sitting up and looking over his shoulder and spotting his wife, who was currently straddling his back instead of being in Cleveland with the kids.

"Hi." She smiled and leaned down to plant a quick hello kiss his lips.

Before he could reply she pushed down on his shoulders, forcing him to lay flat as her fingers began to message the tense muscles she could feel lingering there.

He groaned out his approval as she kneaded her digits into his upper back, bringing instant relief to his sore torso.

"How'd you get here?" He asked when his thought finally got around to acknowledging reason.

"Willow teleported me." She answered, adjusting her position to add more pressure to a problem zone.

"Why?" He moaned out, her fingers sending numerous happy signals to his brain.

"Cus I missed you silly." She answered, placing a kiss on the back of his neck.

"Liar." He muffled into his pillow, "You're just horny."

She grinned and pushed her hands along his arms, rubbing the aches away. "I can be both." She countered.

He made a reply; it wasn't a legible word but more like a relaxed sigh.

He relaxed further under her steadily moving fingers, letting everything but her touch just fade away.

After a few minutes, Buffy realized his deep and steady breaths and slow heartbeat were a dead giveaway to him having fallen asleep.

'_Ok…usually takes a lot more than that for __Angel__ to pass out._' She thought with a mild case of worried. '_Especially if he knows I'm on the sexual prowl._'

She glanced down at his face, but it was mostly buried in his pillow.

With a yawn on her own, she laid down half beside him, half atop, resting her head between his shoulder blades and getting comfy for the night. A week and a half of chasing the kids around by day and spending her nights unable to sleep without her lover's warm body beside her, she was more than understanding why Angel conked out so quickly. She felt her body melting off to sleep, content and happy to have his warm flesh against her cheek. Her eyes drooped shut as she listened to his steady heartbeat beneath her ear.

…

Galway, 6:30 am

Dark brown eyes slid open as the sunlight seeped across the floor. Angel decided he felt considerably better today that he did yesterday morning or any morning actually since he left home almost two weeks ago. His brain was just about to ask why that was when he felt someone run their fingers through his hair.

He knew that touch. '_Buffy_.'

He had honestly thought he had been dreaming of Buffy giving him one of her bliss inducing messages last night, apparently he hadn't been.

He rolled over more comfortably onto his back, causing her to groan at the loss of her pillow, but his chest took its place a second later.

She settled and kissed over his heart, running her fingers over his well defined pecks.

"I thought I was dreaming last night." He spoke softly, tracing her back with his fingers and making her shiver with delight.

"No fantasy Buffy here, I'm the real deal." She said while leaning down and kissing him good morning.

"Sure feels like it." he grinned.

"Mmm, I think I know what I've been craving for now." Buffy smirked while licking the taste of him off her lips.

He chuckled, pulling her down for another.

After a short tongue war, they broke apart. Buffy resting her head under his chin while his fingers caressed her arms.

"That all I get?" He asked grinning something lustful, "I'm a starving man here, and all you give me is a taste?"

"In polite society you start with an appetizer." She scolded playfully.

"But we're not in society, we're in a bedroom, and I'm with my wife, and I want the whole buffet." He finished by rolling her under him and assaulting her with kisses.

She laughed and kisses back when she could, '_This is more like it_.' She thought happily, having hoped for this last night.

"Please tell me you brought protection." He begged into her ear.

"From what? Do I have to fight something?" She asked, playing.

He rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean." He insisted, kissing along her neck.

She frowned when she realized he was serious and pulled back, "You don't have any? You always have some!" She countered.

He sighed heavily, "Why would I bring condoms on a trip without my wife?"

"In case I decided to convince Willow to teleport me here." She automatically replied.

Shaking his head, he rolled off her. "I'll go find some." He voiced, about to very quickly go do just that.

"No." she pulled him back into bed before he could fully leave it.

He turned to her and in all seriousness asked, "Do you want another baby right now?"

She looked around the room a moment as she pondered the question, than regrettably shook her head no. '_Yes someday...but not right now._'

"There are other things we could do…" she teased with a sinful smile as her hand snaked towards his arousal under the sheet.

"Nothing that wouldn't lead directly to that." He countered. Knowing if he started down that path, he was going the whole distance.

"Just because we make love doesn't mean I'll 100% get pregnant." she suggested.

"Let's not temp fate. Five minutes" he promised, "there is a little shop down the road, I'll grab some rubbers."

She sighed, knowing he was right and nodded, "Hurry?" she asked with a little more tease.

He threw on some clothes and grabbed his wallet.

"Be right back, "Tá grá agam duit." (I love you) He said as he kissed her, then vanished from the room.

"To gram do? Huh?" She wondered as she wrapped the white sheet around her somehow nude form and walked to the small window facing the street. _'I haven't heard him speak Gaelic since the night before our wedding_.' She thought smiling at the foreign words. She had to admit, they sounded better when he wasn't slurring from too much drink.

Glancing out, she laughed to herself as she saw Angel jogging rather quickly down the road. '_Wonder how that feels_' she giggled again, remembering how aroused he was a few minutes ago.

When he disappeared within a store, her eyes focused on the scene outside, the beautiful view of Galway in the early morning. "Wow." She whispered, looking at the greening fields and rolling hills, off to the left she could see the ocean. '_So this is what he saw every morning back in the day...minus the cars.'_

She glanced down and saw him sprinting back up the road, a bag gripped tightly in his hand. She grinned and went back into bed to wait his imminent return.

A few minutes later he slipped back into the room, only slightly out of breath and already ripping the box out of the bag and tearing it open.

"Took long enough." She teased.

Angel rolled his eyes, "Gil, he likes to talk…too much when a man's in a rush." He explained as he shed his clothes and jumped back into bed with her.

"Gil?" She asked.

"Explain later" he said quickly, his mouth descending over hers as the passion of a few minutes ago quickly rekindled.

Now with adequate protection, they made love with reckless abandon, both satisfying the hunger of separation for far too long.

…

Once their lust was pleasantly content, they lay together in comfortable silence, just enjoying the feel of each other.

"What haven't you been telling me?" Buffy asked out of the blue.

"What?" He tried to ask convincingly, but she saw right through him.

"I know you've been keeping something from me; I could hear it in your voice over the last few days. I didn't press, because I figured you'd tell me…" She confronted him.

"I was going to…just…after I got home." He answered, suddenly finding his fingers fascinating.

She hooked her right hand under his chin and forced his eyes to meet hers. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" He answered a little too quickly. Feeling her eyes boring into him he continued, "I just…I knew I'd be facing my own internal demons on this trip, I hadn't exactly planned on meeting them in person." He cryptically offered.

"What do you mean?" she probed, curious and worried.

Angel looked away a moment, his thoughts a whirl of unpleasant memories.

"Casey O'Mally" Angel spoke, "He was my best friend in life, until I killed him. He was the first person I ever sired. He joined Darla and I when we razed the village, took great pleasure in it too. When Darla got bored, we ditched him, figuring he'd fall to the slayer…turns out he didn't."

"He's still here?" She asked, understanding if this man was created by him, her husband would feel responsible for the vampire's actions over the years.

"Was." He whispered, obviously not taking it very well.

"You dusted him?" she fished.

He nodded, slowly and with effort.

She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I'm so sorry Angel, why didn't you tell me?"

He wrapped his arms around her, drawing comfort and support. "It was something I needed to do myself. I created him, it was my job to end him. To give my best friend the peace he should have had over 200 years ago."

She pulled back and looked into her Angel's eyes. There was obvious grief, but a sizable amount of relief it was over. She ran her fingers lovingly down his cheek, and then placed a single kiss on his forehead. "Don't blame yourself, you didn't have a soul, no choice but to be evil then."

"I know. That's not the issue here." He dismissed.

"Then what?" She pried.

He took a deep breath and sighed it back out. "After I left in 1753, Mal stole my name, used it to terrorize this village, _my_ village. For generations, the name Liam O'Connor has been that akin to the devil. He killed so many, for so long…just to spite me for abandoning him. I know I shouldn't feel guilty over his actions, but he used _my_ name, all the blood he spilled, it's on _my_ hands Buffy."

She shook her head, "You can't say that Angel, you didn't even know. Besides, you stopped him. That's what counts."

He snorted, "Yeah, 254 years after the fact…"

"You acknowledged the issue and you dealt with it…what more can you do? You brought justice to those he killed, he will never hurt another human. It's over Angel, just let it be over." She reasoned.

He nodded slowly, knowing she was right, but his heart still clenched painfully.

After a moment of silence she asked, "Are you coming home now?" Eager to have him back.

He pondered the idea, knowing he found the cemetery he came to find, but had not yet mustered the courage to enter. Could he just leave? Or did he need to finish it?

"Not yet." He decided, "There's one more thing I need to do."

"What?" She asked.

He was silent a moment, then replied, "Visit my family."

She nodded, realizing why he had wanted to come alone. He held the guilt of killing his family with him since his soul was restored. He'd never asked for their forgiveness, he never could bring himself to face them…or rather their eroding graves.

Angel warred with his thoughts for a while, trying to decide what to do about Buffy. Should he ask her to come with him? Or ask her to stay here or go home?

When Buffy's stomach made an unhappy growl he chuckled. "Like to try some good ol'fashion Irish breakfast?" He asked his hungry wife.

She giggled at him.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Over the past two weeks, you've sounded more Irish each day." She accused with a grin.

"Have I?" He asked, not noticing in the slightest that his Irish brogue was coming back full tilt.

"Oh yeah, big time."

He shrugged, "Well this is where I learned to talk."

Her stomach made another growling noise.

"Speaking of talk, lets get that quieted down shall we?" He asked as he rolled out of bed.

She glanced over at his bare form and frowned. "When did that happen?" she asked, getting up and running her finger across a fading scar on his back.

"Yesterday." He dismissed.

She suddenly realized why he fell asleep so fast last night. "You were hurt."

"Mostly bumps and bruises, but you made those go away." He tried to cover with a kiss.

"A knife wound isn't a bump." She scolded him, moving back and folding her arms in front of her in anger that he could have been killed and she didn't even know it.

He sighed, "It's not like I planned to get stabbed in the back by my former best friend." He defended, pained by the action more than the injury itself.

"I'm sorry" she apologized for being snippy at him, "It's just…"

"I know, you hate when I get hurt." He replied, pulling her against him in a tight hug.

She nodded against his chest. "I don't want to lose you."

"You won't." He insisted, "Now lets get some breakfast, ok?" he asked to let the subject drop and move on with their day.

She nodded but quickly realized the only outfit she had was a nearly see through robe and some four-leaf clover undergarments that were defiantly not outside-the-bedroom suitable. "Oh, I…umm…don't have clothes."

"I could live with that." He smirked.

"You're ok with all the other men seeing every bare part of me?" She countered.

His lustful grin fell from his lips, "On second thought, we need to get you covered up."

He turned and dug through his suitcase, quickly finding a wrapped box. "Here, I was going to wait until I got home to give you this…but now seems appropriate."

She eagerly took the gift and unwrapped it, pulling out a knit cream sweater.

"Wow, this is beautiful." She spoke as she examined the intricate knitting and details of the thread.

"It's called an Aran sweater, named from the island they originated from, off the West coast in the mouth Galway bay. They were traditionally worn by fisherman, since the raw wool is water repellant and helps keep the body warm and dry. Most sweaters have about 100,000 stitches. The designs are culturally important, each pattern specific to a clan or region. Although I'm actually older than these traditional sweaters, I still thought you'd look amazing in one." He finished with a grin.

"I love it, thank you." She smiled and kissed his cheek. She quickly put on her scandalously scant clothing and pulled the long nearly knee length sweater around her shoulders, buttoning it down and posing for him. "Presentable for the public?"

He grinned, tugging on his own garments. "I've seen you flaunt shorter shirts, but it'll work until we go shop for something more suitable to the weather."

She slipped on her slippers and looked down at herself. "Can I really walk outside like this?" she wondered aloud. Remembering her fashion conscious days.

"You look beautiful, and if anyone says otherwise, I'll knock em out." He coaxed, pulling her hand towards the door, eager for food as well.

"Well, I guess they can't gawk if they're unconscious." She figured with a smirk.

…

A few minutes later, they were seated at a booth downstairs in the small tavern, glancing over a menu.

"Angel me lad, top of the morning to ya." Gil, the establishment owner, greeted the familiar face with a smile.

"And a fine morning to you lass." He added seeing Buffy sitting almost hidden beside Angel against the wall. Doing her best to hide her not wearing of much more than a long sweater.

"A very good morning it is Gil." Angel greeted back, a smile painted to his face.

They ordered and ate while talking, filling each other in on a few things they'd left out over the phone. They enjoyed brief excursions away from home, when it was just the two of them. As much as they loved their children, time off was bliss.

After the meal, he excused himself to wash up before he took her on an improve shopping trip to buy some sensible clothes for his wife.

As soon as Angel left, Gil wandered back up to her. She noticed he'd been sending her glances now and again for the last half hour.

"Haven't seen you in these parts before lass." Gil commented as he approached.

"First time in Ireland." She replied, not liking the slight hostile tone he gave her.

"To your liking?"

"Yeah, Angel's told me a lot, I already feel like I know the place."

"He's a good lad, being telling me about his family back in the states." He revealed, looking for a wince or a gasp of shock.

Instead he got a, "Oh, good things I hope." She replied with a smirk.

"You know he's a happily married man then lass?" He asked coldly.

"Considering I'm his wife, yeah, I do." She answered pulling the long sweater back from her hand to reveal her matching wedding band.

His eyes widened in realization, "Oh, you must be Buffy. Very sorry, it must be admitted the wrong impression was made. As they say, an open mouth often catches a closed fist." With that said he quickly left the young woman alone, embarrassed he'd though Angel picked up some loose female company to ease his manly needs.

He'd known something was different the minute he'd seen Angel rush into the shop that morning, grabbing a box of condoms like the devil himself was chasing him. The grin that never left Angel's lips all morning had been a firm indicator his purchase hadn't gone to waste.

Of course hearing tales of the lovely Buffy had been the only time Gil had seen a smile light up the dark haired man's eyes at all in the nearly two weeks he'd been renting the room upstairs.

He didn't think it was a stretch to believe the handsome young man in question had found someone to keep him company. Of course he should have known by the absolute devotion Angel had spoken of Buffy with that the idea of him cheating was impossible to even consider.

While Gil fled from Buffy he almost literally ran into Angel.

"Ahh, what a fine woman you have there lad. Her description does no justice to her beauty. No wonder that grin has yet to leave, nice to know you can smile." He said quickly.

"Thank you..." Before he could converse further, Gil excused himself and retreated into the kitchen.

Shaking his head he returned to Buffy and extended his hand, "Care to join me for a walk?" He asked flashing her a warm smile.

"As long as a store that sells pants is on the way." She emphasized, pulling the sweater down as it rode up a little.

He laughed, "There is."

…

A short while later, much to Angel's dismay, Buffy was fully covered head to toe with the latest Irish fashion.

Although he had to admit, she looked wonderful in the tight black pants, sturdy leather boots, and novelty emerald green scoop neck long sleeve Claddagh shirt. The sweater he gave her went very well with the outfit and the new wool coat she wouldn't leave without.

Unable to deny her anything, he purchased the outfit she wanted and promised they'd stop by on their way back from the cemetery to pick up some toys for the kids. He insisted he already purchased a sinful number, but she wouldn't hear him.

...

After what felt like hours walking on 'trails' that weren't suitable for a rabbit she halted abruptly when she collided with Angel's back as he stopped short.

"Hey, why did you stop?" She asked, peeking around his broad back. "Oh." she added a second later seeing the grossly overgrown cemetery that was their destination.

She could practically feel the tension rolling off him in waves. She reached out and found his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

He turned and looked down at her, sending her a weak smile and accepting her support by tightening her hand in his.

Hand in hand they moved forward, crossing under the fallen archway and into the the birthplace of Angelus.

She had no idea how he knew where to go. Most of the graves were so badly eroded their names were nothing but minor indents on the surface of crumbling stone.

It was obvious no one had maintained this graveyard in over 200 years, letting the elements and plant life ruin the once pristine markers.

He paused and frowned, not seeing what he'd come to find. 'They must be buried at the family plot.' He guessed, not seeing his parents, or siblings graves. As he turned, one grave did catch his eye.

Angel halted again and Buffy looked over at him. "Angel?" She asked, looking down at the grave in front of him with a pit in her gut.

"This was my grave." he whispered, his mind consumed by images of sleeping withing this very soil, the echo of his funeral sounding in his ears, the heartbeats of his parents and sister as they stood in this very spot some 254 years ago.

He felt himself rising from this now enclosed hole, looking right, the first being he saw was Darla, standing where Buffy stood now. The gravedigger, Carrick O'Callaghan, his first victim drained not 5 feet away, he could taste the blood in his mouth.

150 years of death assaulted him, faces of countless victims suddenly flashed across his eyes.

Angel gasped and faltered back from his deathbed, soul and demon screaming in agony, his mind lost for a moment in memory. Both Angelus's and Angel's memories blurred together, the sins of the demon being branded painfully by the soul.

"Angel!" Buffy panicked, realizing this place was doing something to him. She grabbed his arm and pulled him back, shaking him and trying to wake him from his dazed stare.

"I see it, I feel it..." he rambled, gripping Buffy's arm tightly as if she held him to this plane, as if he let go, he'd be lost forever.

Angel looked up and was greeted with hundreds of eyes staring back at him, the dead accusing eyes of all those he killed on this very island. Angelus's victims...his victims...all with hate and vengeance shining in their dead eyes.

"Oh god..." he whispered, glancing around at all the people he remembering murdering, some for food, most for pleasure.

Angel had dealt with 100 years of guilt and suffering for the demon's actions...but it was truly Angelus feeling them now. His demon finally feeling the weight of the soul it was merged with, the weight of his guilt crushing down on him.

"Angel!" Buffy yelled to him snap him out of it, the grip on her arm almost painful.

He looked at her, his eyes wider than she'd ever seen before, in all honesty, she'd never seen fear like this in him. "Do you see them?" he asked, almost desperate. He demon cowering as the dead stared him down.

She looked around but saw nothing outside a cloudy cool morning in an old cemetery. "See what?" she asked, afraid he was going insane on the spot.

"I feel them...they're everywhere..." He muttered, looking but seeing something she didn't...couldn't.

A moment later she felt something too, something real and tangible...actual vampires. '_That's a lot of angry fang-boys_' She thought with a pang of worry, seeing at least 2 dozen vamps materializing from around the area.

She looked at the sky again and realized even though it was day, the overcast sky completely blocked out the sun...setting the stage for a perfect ambush.

Damn Ireland weather.

Angel's wide eyes stared at the approaching demons, his memories not finding where exactly these ones came from.

Buffy slammed into him suddenly, knocking him back. "Those ones are real honey...so are their very sharp claws." She forced on her husband, trying to get him to fight them and not stand and watch as they shred him into flesh ribbons.

Reality pushed illusion aside as the first wave of demons attacked. The will to survive kicked in as the demon recouped and Angel's face shifted for battle.

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief when Angel snapped back to realityland, although finding out a second later she had no stake or weapon quickly sent the 'oh crap' level back up.

The first vampire was only three feet from her when she felt a sharpened stake press into her outstretched hand.

"Thanks Hun." She smiled and slammed the offering into the nearest blood-rat, dusting him instantly.

"Welcome." A young feminine voice replied with an Irish brogue that was defiantly not in Angel's deep tone.

Caught up in fighting the next three vampires that attacked, Buffy had to wait a few seconds before she stopped short and turned to see who had given her the stake.

For a second she could have sworn the young girl sitting on the grave behind her was Katie, but the girl was much older than her two year old daughter, pre-teens perhaps.

"Behind you." The dark haired girl pointed out and Buffy spun to take out the demon trying to gut her as her back was turned.

...

Angel bowled over the closest of three vamps and kicked the fangs right off a fourth when the creature tried to bite his leg.

Tearing a branch off a dead tree to the right of his grave, he began staking the remains of Mal's vampire 'army' left and right. Stealing a glance over towards Buffy satisfied him she was handling things just fine, even found a stake to help her out.

He turned when he felt another being behind him, and spun and came face to face with the stern hard face of his father.

Angel's eyes widened, "F-Father?" He stuttered, stepping back in utter shock.

A vampire noticed Angel's distraction and took the opportunity to attack. The force of the blow knocked Angel back and his head slammed backwards onto his gravestone, leaving a small trail of blood behind.

Angel's brown unfocused eyes gazed up horrified as his father's mirrored back at him. "Hello boy."

Looking up shocked at the parent he murdered 254 years ago, he felt his consciousness slip away.

...

"Angel!" Buffy yelled when she saw her husband fall, she too far and fighting her own battle to the death to offer help.

The girl sitting on the tomb behind her smiled slightly and looked heavenward. A moment later the thick clouds parted, washing the cemetery in bright sunlight.

The remaining dozen of so vampires screeched and scattered in vein as they were consumed by the flames that quickly ignited over their flesh.

Buffy barely noticed as she rushed over to her husband's prone form, gently shaking his shoulder and trying to rouse him.

"Angel!" She shook harder, getting the same absent response.

She whipped her head towards the girl now standing behind her. "Who are you? What happened to him?" Buffy demanded.

The young woman shook her dark head, and looked so much like Angel when she frowned. "Tis not for me to say...but I think you know."

The blond slayer looked the girl over, knowing it wasn't possible because the girl she was claiming to be died hundreds of years ago. "You can't be his sister Katherine, she'd dead." She denied.

The girl smiled, "Says the one who's died twice."

Buffy swallowed hard, knowing this young woman wasn't a demon, she felt nothing negative at all about her. Actually, the girl practically radiated goodness.

"What's wrong with him?" She asked Kathy, looking down at her husband's unconscious form. "Why can't I wake him?"

"Father needed a word with him." She answered cryptically.

"Wh-what?" Buffy asked, wanting more information, but when she looked up found herself alone.

...

TBC,,,


	47. Home is Sometimes Hardest, Part 2

Angel opened his eyes and instantly shut then again. His head was pounding, the sound almost tangible.

"Liam! Open this door this instant!" The voice yelled as it pounded the door.

Ok, it was tangible.

Bolting upright Angel looked over at the old wooden door that enclosed his bedroom some 250 years ago. _'Huh?'_ He thought confused, looking around at the space he hadn't seen since the night he left home to spite his father.

"Liam!" The angry voice boomed again from behind the door, his father's voice.

Not understanding what the hell was going on, he slipped from his bed and glanced down at the long hair tickling his shoulders. _'Haven't worn my hair like this in 100 years._' He mused before the pounding on the door intensified.

Quickly unlatching the door he found it suddenly thrown open and the enraged face of his father inches from his own.

"Damn you boy! Have you no shame! Séamus Walsh just informed me of your indiscretions with his daughter, she was to be wed next month! Her fiance aborted the wedding! The devil lives in you boy, and I won't stand to let the devil in my home!" William O'Connor shouted to the shocked Angel, his memories replaying in perfect 3D surround sound.

When his fathers hand struck hard across his jaw the pain and the resulting blood filling his mouth assured him this wasn't just a dream, he was here.

He faulted back, not from the blow itself, but of the reality of it. He looked down at himself, saw the 18 year old body he hadn't worn in centuries aborning his flesh. His eyes returned to his father's furious gaze. "Get out." The elder man spat, "Get out of my home you filthy demon."

...

A rush, a feeling of disorientation filled his again shut eyes as the world shifted around him.

When his eyes reopen he looked over at his little sister Kathy's young but red and swollen face, "It's alright Liam, father was right to be angry with me. I shouldn't 'ave dropped the water bucket." She told him guiltily, feeling she was worthy of their father's rage.

Angel felt a surge of protectiveness over his baby sister, the same surge he felt then. He'd been kicked out of the house, it'd been almost a month after their last fight. He'd crossed paths with his sister, he'd see her weekly to keep in touch. When he'd seen what their father had done to his beloved sibling's beautiful face, he'd nearly lost it, vengeance screaming in his heart.

"How dare he touch you!" He felt himself say, felt his body moving as it did then. He took her small form into his arms, the little girl only being 4, and marched her back to his temporary residence. He'd patched her up, kissed away her tears. "I promise you my sweet Kathy, he'll never touch you again." He'd vowed to her, knowing his place was with her, in their home. He'd bare his father's beating, he'd bare anything to keep the only love in his life safe.

...

The scene shifted again, the world replaying his final night at home in his head and around him. It was nearly 8 years later. He was 26 and Kathy 13. His baby sister was engaged to a wealthy man, a man well known and liked by Liam, and soon to be out of their father's home forever. He could speak his mind now to his father, tell the old bastard he'd be leaving for good.

He stumbled up to his mother and sister, the air of finality wafting off him in waves. Or it could have been ale...he'd downed a sinful amount already.

William O'Connor shouted from behind him._** "Liam! You'll do as I say." **_The boy had never disobeyed a direct order, he knew his place.

Liam knelt to his precious baby sister,_ "_**_Sweet Kathy. No tears. We'll meet again." _**He smiled to her, knowing she would be well loved.

William spat,_ "_**_Defy me now, you won't. - Not as long as I live." _**The older man raged, not to be ignored.

Liam gave him a blank expression,_ "_**_You'll want to move away from the door now, father."_**

Realization washed over William, seeing the boy was serious,**_"Go through it, but don't ever expect to come back."_**

Liam sighed, "**As you wish, father. Always, *just* as you wish.**"

Anger rolled up again, **"It's a son I wished for – a man – instead God gave me you! A terrible disappointment."** He spat again, wishing his first born son had lived, that this weak disappointment of a son had died in his stead as he should have as a baby.

Liam scoffed, outraged at the disillusion his father bore, **"Disappointment? A more dutiful son you couldn't have asked for. My whole life you've told me in word, in glance, what it is you required of me, and I've lived down to your every expectations, now haven't I?"**

**"That's madness!"** The older man cried, knowing this son was nothing compared to the one he lost.

Liam shook his head, **"No. The madness is that I couldn't fail enough for you. But we'll fix that now, won't we?**" He turned towards the door, more than ready to be free of the overbearing weight of his father's cold stare.

**"I fear for you, lad."** William whispered.

**"And is that the only thing you can find in your heart for me now, father?"** Liam shot back, not expecting an apology or a admittance of guilt, but he'd had a small shred of hope. Some deep buried spec of need cried for his father's approval, to see his eyes fill with pride, to have a sliver of love.

**"Who'll take you in, huh? No one!"** He tried for threat, to make his stubborn seed see reason, that he couldn't live without him...but in truth he knew without an 'heir' to his business and name, he was the one with nothing.

Liam scoffed at that, knowing a number of woman who would welcome him into their beds, **"I'll not lack for a place to sleep, I can tell you that. Out of my way.**" He pushed past his father, eager for his first true bite of freedom, his mouth watered for it.

**"I was never in your way, boy.**" He fired back, feeling the sting of loss washing over him.

Liam ignored his old man, opened the door and stormed out. Ready for the world beyond his father's tyranny.

**"If you'll go courting trouble, you're sure to find it!"** The empty threat barked out at him, but he just smiled to himself and slamming the door. He was a free man.

...

The world shifted and Angel felt the drink swirling in his belly as he flirted with a barmaid. The potent liquid muddling his mind and bringing a grin to his lips as he ate the offered grapes from the young woman's hands. He knew he'd find shelter between her thighs tonight, and the thought brought a full smile to his lips.

Flashing again, and he was wandering drunkenly out of the pub. The pretty bar-maiden long forgotten as he'd spotted a striking blond in a wealthy dress watching him. Her 'come hither' smile tightening his loins.

He saw her disappear just inside the alley across the bar, his inebriated mind untethered by drink, he followed. Eager to taste her, to let her beauty cure him of his pain. He knew this alley well, had many willing woman pressed against it's brick walls. Many have lost their innocence here, as he expected this lovely woman with her back to him would tonight. **"So, I'd ask myself...what's a lady of your station doing alone in an alley with a reputation that this one has?"**

**"Maybe she's lonely.**" Darla's alluring voice called out, still not facing him, waiting for him to stumble into her trap.

Liam grinned, "**In that case, I'd offer myself as escort to protect you from harm and to while away the dull hours."**

Her voice accepted his offer, "**You're very gracious.**"

Liam agreed, "**Hm. It's often been said.**" Flirting back.

She turned to face him, knowing her looks would draw him like a moth to flame, with much the same result. "**Are you certain you're up to the challenge?**" She mocked playfully, looking him up and down, eager to taste him as much as he her, but not quiet in the same way.

His eyes roamed her body, ensnared in the net of her charms and body. "**Milady, you'll find that with the exception of an honest day's work, there's no challenge I'm not prepared to face.**" He looked up into her eyes, seeing her face for the first time. "**Oh... But you're a pretty thing. Where are you from?**" He asked, never having set his eyes upon her before, which is hard in a small village, and a little mindful she may have a wealthy and jealous husband lurking somewhere. Truth be told, as long as he doesn't interrupt, he wouldn't much pay it mind.

She smiled at his charms, revealing straight white teeth. "**Around. Everywhere.**" She played.

A pang of regret washed over him, he promised his sister once he'd show her the world when he could. "**I never been anywhere myself. Always wanted to see the world, but...**"

"**I could show you...**" She offered with her smile, sizing him up, thinking he would make a wonderful traveling companion...once the soul and heartbeat were discarded of course. Darla always enjoyed when a man willingly gave her his life, she took a great joy in it.

"**Could you, then?**" He asked, intrigued that perhaps he'd find more than a single night of mindless pleasure in her arms.

She almost had him, so close, "**Things you've never seen, never even heard of.**" She reeled him in like a hooked fish.

His smile widened, "**Sounds exciting.**" This is what he'd always wanted isn't it? To be free of his father's rules, to see the world, to lay in the arms of the most beautiful woman he'd yet had his eyes on. Hell if he could do that on this woman's dime he could settle to be a sex toy as payment.

_'You're mine.'_ Darla thought, "**It is. And frightening.**" She agreed, and set the stage to take him.

Liam shook his drunken head, "**I'm not afraid. Show me. Show me your world.**" He unknowingly signed his life away.

"**Close your eyes**." She breathed out, and he eagerly and foolishly obeyed, sinking into her embrace and expecting a kiss.

He barely heard the growl from her fanged smile before her teeth sank into his flesh. His eyes snapped open, drink purged from his mind.

The rate of blood loss is too much, he feels his body weakening and the next thing he feels is her hands tangled in his hair, pressing his face into her chest, her blood welling under his lips too temping not to take.

...

Angel felt the world sift again, this time seeing what happened next from the other side of the ground.

He watched in sympathy for their pain as his mother and sister were crying over his grave. While his father stands perfectly straight looking ahead, unblinking and emotionless.  
A Priest stood over his grave, speaking to the few who stood by. "**Taken too soon from the bosom of his family, a man of just 20 years and 6, Liam was well-loved by everyone he met. Receive this your humble servant. We pray that you may take his eternal soul into your care, Father."**  
Angel watched as time sped by, his grave being filled in. The only mourner still standing beside the grave is his father, still staring straight ahead.  
He glanced down at his grave stone he saw his name and below, 1727 – 1753, Beloved Son.

Time shifted forwards again and he saw himself rising from his grave, felt the soil parting from his fingers as he freed himself from the earth.

Darla walked up to him, watching in satisfaction, smiling as her 'son' re-birthed.  
Darla helped the newly sired Liam to his feet, "**Welcome to my world. It hurts, I know, but not for long. Birth is always painful."**  
Liam breathed hard, more from exertion and habit than actual need for breath, "**I could feel them – above me – as I slept in the earth. - Their heartbeats – their blood - coursing - through their veins.**" Excitement and power washed over him, these whole new sense budding to life, a connection he'd never felt before the universe itself seemed to be opening right before his eyes.  
Darla smiled at him, remembering so long ago when she too rose from her grave, the rush it brings. "**Yes."**  
"**Was it a dream?**" He asked, unsure if he'd wake on the bar room floor in or some woman's bed after a night of too much drink.  
"**A dream for you. Soon – their nightmare**." She grinned, seeing the devastating potential already blazing in his dark soulless eyes.

Footsteps caught Liam's attention, the sound barely heard by a human was amplified to near deafening to his newly acquired senses. The cemetery groundskeeper Carrick O'Callaghan came up holding a lantern. "**You there!"** He shouts as warning, upon seeing the upturned grave he yells, "**What have you done? - Grave robbers!**"  
Liam slowly walks towards him, the old man's hot blood beckoning him closer, he looks back at Darla for confirmation and she nods at him.  
"**You know what to do.**" She give him permission, watching him like a proud mother.  
Liam turns back towards Carrick and morphs into vamp face, feeling the rush and call for blood screaming at him.  
Carrick sees the horrible face and falters back, "**Our Father, who art in heaven hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, give us this day our daily...**" But the words do nothing to deter Liam, in seconds his fangs bury into his neck, greedily taking the life giving substance into himself.

After a moment Liam breaks off to look at Darla again, at her nod he then finishes draining the guy and drops him. He takes a couple deep unneeded breaths then turns back to Darla in human face.  
**"It all makes sense now, doesn't it?**" She asks him, coming closer.  
"**Perfect sense.**" He agrees, loving the new strength and power he feels filling him head to toe.  
**"You can do anything, have anyone in the village. Who will it be?"** She prods, eager to see what lies within his stilled heart.  
"**Any one?**" He asked, thinking it over. At her nod he grins, an evil twinkle in his cold eyes, "**I thought I'd take the village.**"

...

Angel felt bile rising in his throat, he knew what he'd see next. Without disappointment the world shifted again, it was a few weeks later, after he and Darla had terrorized the village, Liam was ready to finish the job. He went for his family.

William O'Connor was desperately nailing up his windows from the inside, terror washing over him in waves.

**"You're no different from the rest of them, - are you, father?"**

He spun at the sound of his dead son's voice, retreating back as he spoke

"**Cowering in their houses – boarding up the windows – smearing that foul herb in the doorways. You'd think something evil – and vile – and monstrous - had taken to terrorizing this village –and everyone in it." **

"**Be gone, unclean thing! A demon can not enter a home where it's not welcome. He must be invited!**" He warned, seeing not his son but the demon that killed him.

"**That's true. - But I was invited.**" Liam grinned back, looking behind him in the doorway, the body of his beloved Kathy slumped against the wall, her dark eyes forever blank.

"**Och!**" William cried, feeling the love he'd never felt for his child in life overwhelming him in her death.

"**She thought I returned to her – an angel.**" Liam mocked, thinking the name suited him.

Rage washed over William, **"Murderer!"** He yelled, charging the body of his son with the hammer raised above his head.

Liam easily avoided the attack, pushing his father to the ground.

"**Strange. - Somehow you seemed taller when I was alive.**" Liam spoke, feeling nothing but embarrassment that he'd ever let such a pathetic creature run his life. Wondering why he'd ever felt fear for such a small cowardly man lying before him now.

William flattened himself up against the wall, "**Lord, bind this demon now.**" He cried desperately, fear washing over him.

Liam shook his head, voicing his opinions, **"To think I ever let such a tiny, trembling thing make me feel the way you did."**

His father crosses himself, "**I pray ye, give me your protection, Father."**

Liam stalked forwards, his anger coming to fruit, the years this man belittled him, beat him, crushed him under his rules and will. "**You told me I wasn't a man. You told me I was nothing. – and I believed you. You said I'd never amount to anything. Well, you were wrong."**

Liam's vamp face appeared, his father's eyes widened in horror.

**"You see, father? - I have made something out of myself after all."**

Liam grabs the man that held such sway over him for so long, pressed a hand over his father's face and bites down hard, draining the old bastard for every last drop.

...

"**This contest is ended, is it?**" Darla asks, walking into his home, free to do so now there was no one left alive within.

Liam was sitting in his father's chair, his feet up on the table playing with his father's pipe. His family lying dead around him.

**"Now I've won."** He smirked, feeling like a hunter after taking out a large buck.

**"You're sure?**" Darla asked, glancing down at the mess.

He puts his feet down and picks up a mug of ale, **"Of course. I proved who had the power here."**

**"You think?**" She countered.

"**What?"** He asked, looking over his trophy's.

She shook her head, "**You're victory over him took but moments**."

He looks over at the body of his father and gets up, "**Yes?**"

She sighed, thinking how innocent youth can be, "**But his defeat of you will last life times**."

**"What are you talking about? He can't defeat me now."** Liam snapped looking at the dead man.

**"Nor can he ever approve of you – in this world or any other. - What we once were informs all that we have become. The same love will infect our hearts – even if they no longer beat. Simple death won't change that." **She informed her new companion.

He glanced at their bodies again then looked to his lover, "**Love? - Is this the work of love?" **He scoffed, seeing nothing but death around him.

Darla stepped closer and smiled up at him: "**Darling boy. - So young. Still so very young.**"  
...

The scene shifted again and when Angel's eyes opened he was face to face with his own mirror.

"Hey, nice trip down memory lane, isn't it?" Angelus asked, his cold dark eyes filling with glee as the memories tickled his darkness.

"Hardly." Angel replied, "What is this? Where am I?" He demanded, confused and disorientated still.

"You tell me, it's your head idiot." The demon shot back.

Angel rolled his eyes, talking with his darker half made having a conversation with Spike seem pleasant. "We're not divided anymore, how are you here like this?"

The demon shrugged, "Again, your mind trip...I'm just along for the show."

Angel sighed and glanced around, seeing nothing but a white nothingness.

"Ack." He yelp as Angelus suddenly socked him, a feral gleam in his eyes. "Neat. I like it here." He grinned coldly, looking forward to kicking his souled ego's ass again.

"Stop that." Angel protested, dodging the next three blows.

"Aw, come on Soul Boy, stop being a wuss and fight me." The demon taunted, jabbing and sending a kick to his humanized self.

"No." Angel denied, refusing to go though that madness again. "Quit being a Jackass, we're together now. I won't fight you."

Angelus dropped his fists, "Well that's no fun." He frowned, "And kinda gay sounding."

Angel sent himself a withering glance, "Get over it."

Angelus shrugged, "So that's it? No epic fight? No good vs evil smack down?"

"Been there, done that, no need for a re-run." He looked over at himself and shook his head. "We don't need to fight, we're both me...us...you share my soul as much as I share your demon. We're the same person."

Angelus stuffed his hands in his pockets, brooding. "Spoil sport." He muttered.

In a flash he felt himself pulled whole again, his sides re-merging. "Oh, that's not a comfortable feeling." He shook his head to clear it.

"Neither is being killed by your own flesh and blood." A voice declared behind him.

Angel spun, once again face to face with his father.

"Father." He gasped, stepping back from the stern faced dead man.

"I see you've chosen the dark again Boy, accepted the demon back into your soul. Nothing has changed." He spat, disappointment blazing in his eyes.

Angel swallowed his fear and shock, anger riding to the forefront. "Yes, it has father. I regret what happened to you, to mother and Kathy...but I accept that it wasn't my fault. I had no choice, no soul, no free will. What I regret most is never confronting you while I was still a man." His anger faded a little, "Never…never asking for your forgiveness for being such a lousy son…" He trialed, knowing the man he had been was no one to brag about.

Angel looked away a moment, feelings he'd long since buried rising from the depth of his soul.

His father knew what words his son remembered, he voiced them. "You could never measure up to my expectations of you. You never did anything right in my eyes. I called you a disgrace, a disappointment, a lay-about, a scoundrel, told you that you weren't a man, that I was ashamed of you and you'd never amount to anything. And all that was when you were still alive." William accused.

"And you're here to tell me you were wrong, that I was none of those things?" Angel snapped angrily. He knew it was true, but a part of him wanted to hear his father say it wasn't.

"No Liam, I'm not. Because you were all of them. You were just too ignorant to see it."

Angel shook his head, "Perhaps I was, but I was only able to be the man you molded me into. I never understood you, I thought if I did everything you asked, I could buy your approval, your love. But that's not something you can buy. You were always so concerned about sins and corruption, so I became the poster boy for them all. You thought I was this awful creature, and so I became one, you made me a vampire before I even died." He forced out.

"I know." William O'Connor agreed looking shamed, his eyes cast down in disgrace, his son's words striking true. "Trust me my son, of all my regrets in life, you were the biggest. I know I was a disappointing father to you, that I took my pain and aggression from losing your brother out on you. He died a hero, saving you...and I condemned you for it.

My death, your mother's...Kathy's...they were my fault, not yours. If I'd been a father to you instead of a general...you'd never have been in that alley..."

That struck Angel as unusual. His father had never admitted guilt, not once in his life. "So is that what this is about? To have me beg for your forgiveness, absolve my crimes and find peace in myself?"

"No." William answered. "It is for me to ask your forgiveness."

If Angel thought he was shocked a moment ago, he was floored now. "What?"

"I've watched your life boy. I've seen everything you've done in the past 254 years. Much of it I turned from in the beginning, seeing what I'd prodded my son into becoming. Other times I'd wept for you, for the broken soul you carried. The life you'd led would crush many a men, but not you. You rose from the wreckage and stood tall. I've watched you become a champion, fight for this world, sacrifice for it.

You were a disgrace, a disappointment, a lay-about, and a scoundrel in the past...but you're nothing like that man now."

Angel was speechless.

"Your death broke a part of me, the hard shell I'd worn for so long. It wasn't until then I'd realized how badly I'd treated you, how I drove you to self destruction.

I realized how much I'd lost.

I was too much a coward to tell you then, but I can say it now. I see a man I'm proud to call my son.

You're a better man than I was...a far better father. I know you have no reason to forgive me...that my praise is much too little and far too late...but I do love you my boy, I always have and always will."

Angel refused to cry, but the temptation was strong.

Here stood the man he'd murdered in a power-play for his approval, forever trapped by his foolish youthful rage into never receiving it.

Now here it was, handed to him, practically gift wrapped. "Why now?" He asked voice carefully guarded.

The older man smiled slightly, "You've not been home to tell." He told him bluntly.

Angel nodded slowly, a part of him wanting to smash his fist into his old man's face for the way he'd been treated as a child. The other part wanted to drop and bawl like a child at his feet.

Instead he walked a few steps forwards, his champion heart unable to deny his father the forgiveness he'd asked for. If he could forgive Faith for trying to kill him he could forgive his father...it hurt...but he would bare the pain.

"You wanted what every man wants; to see your children succeed in life. You're methods were deplorable, but I know you only wanted what was best for your family. I don't approve of your actions, but...I forgive you Father."

The old brown eyes overflowed with tears, "Thank you." He cried and hugged his startled son. 'Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou..." He sobbed into his boy's shirt.

Despite the whirl of emotions, Angel wrapped his arms around his father's lithe frame, once again shocked as to how small he'd really been. His own tears stinging un-shed in his eyes.

A light filled the space, the white nothingness replaced with a warm glow. Angel looked up and gasped as he saw his mother and sister standing together, smiles on their beautiful faces. Behind his mother, a young boy about 9 appeared, his older brother William Jr that died when Liam was 7.

William slowly moved from his son's embrace and looked to the three souls behind him. "My God." He whispered, seeing his long lost family.

"Come Will." His wife beckoned, "Come home to us."

His father turned to look wide eyed at his living son. "I...I'd never thought..."

Angel suddenly realized his father hadn't gone to Heaven with his mother and sister, but had spent 250 years in Purgatory, suffering in the guilt he'd felt over his treatment of his surviving son.

Tears finally flowed down the living vampire's cheeks, knowing his forgiveness was what finally allowed his father entry to Heaven.

"Go, be with them." Angel urged to the stunned man beside him.

His dark eyes watched as his father slowly moved towards them, like a man walking to an oasis in the dessert…afraid it'd vanish in a mirage if he got too close.

They didn't. The three brightly glowing beings wrapped their arms around William Sr, the older man beginning to glow with them.

Angel smiled at the scene, a feeling of peace washing over him. The anger his demon always felt birthed from his father's disapproval was suddenly pacified.

The rage gone forever.

All four looked towards him, silently asking him to join them in eternal bliss.

Tempting as it was, Angel shook his head. "I have a family of my own that needs me, a world to protect…I can't, not for a long time anyways." He declared.

They nodded, smiling together.

Bridgette O'Connor waved her hand at her son, thanking him for sending his father home to her.

Kathy kissed her hand and sent it to her brother, as he'd taught her to do when she was little. He grinned and caught it, pressing it to his heart.

His older brother just smiled at him, innocence surrounding the youth.

The glow from them suddenly brightened and Angel had to shield his eyes. When he looked back after a moment, they were gone.

He smiled, the heaviness he'd carried in his heart for centuries finally lifted.

He looked around at the vast nothingness. '_Ok, now how do I get back?_' He thought worriedly.

Somewhere, he thought he heard Buffy's voice calling to him. He looked around confused.

Shutting his eyes he focus on her voice, and followed it home.

...

"Angel!" Buffy called again, getting extremely worried as his heartbeat slowed.

She'd been horrified when she realized his soul and demon had vanished from his body, now with nothing within, his body was dying.

"Angel please." She begged, holding him tight, "Come back to me."

"Always." He breathed in, his essence slipping back into he vessel that was his body.

Buffy gasped when he spoke and then practically jumped on him as she felt him return to her.

His eyes opened and he smiled at her."I missed you too." He grinned, wrapping his arms around her.

Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck as she kissed him, her heart pounding in her chest.

"You left me!" She accused after a moment, sitting up to let him breathe.

"I'm here now. And I'll be staying for a long time." He assured, pulling her back down against him.

"Where did you go?" She asked in a small voice.

A small smile ran across his lips, "I saw my family."

That clarified what the ghost of Kathy had said. "You talked to your dad?" Buffy asked, interested in what happened during his out-of-body experience.

He nodded, "I did." He answered.

She looked into his eyes then, and saw the weight he'd been carrying was gone now. A light she'd never seen before glowed in him, a light revealed by centuries of darkness being cleared away.

The demon was still inside, but the guilt and remorse, the anger and rage, all of it was gone. He'd always have the memories of what he'd been, of what he'd done with and without a soul. But there was something else in those deep bottomless eyes...forgiveness.

In forgiving his father, he himself had earned forgiveness.

He'd saved the man that condemned him, and saved himself.

Redemption achieved.

He couldn't help it, he saw her watching him with those big beautiful hazel-green eyes and his lips zeroed in on hers. He was feeling more alive right now than he'd felt even before he was turned. All he could think about in this moment was how much brighter the world felt...and how much he loved his woman laying in his arms.

...

Buffy was lying spread out over her husband, his coat wrapped over her bare form. "We just made love on your grave" She bluntly muttered, looking at the stone standing accusingly in front of her.

He smirked and shrugged beneath her, "So? It's not like I'm in it." he countered, nuzzling against her neck. "Besides, it's mine...if I want to love my wife here who's to tell me not to?"

"Seems a little morbid to me." She shifted off him and sat up, clutching his coat to herself for modestly from the glaring graves.

"Says the woman who'd sneak into the cemetery at night just to smooch her boyfriend." Angel reminded her of the countless hours they'd spent necking in Sunnydale's numerous cemeteries over the years.

"They weren't your grave." she bounced back, feeling uneasy.

He rose too, body following hers. Unphased he leaned his back against his grave marker as he would the headboard of their bed and pulled her against him, his finger sweeping an unruly blond hair behind her ear. "I'm not dead Buffy, I'm here with you. Thoroughly enjoying being alive and spending much desired quality time with my extremely beautiful wife." He finished by kissing her forehead.

She rolled her eyes at him, snuggling against his shoulder. "You're still horny, aren't you?" She mocked his charms. Even though they succeeded in reeling her back in.

"Don't you know it." he grinned, kissing her neck again, paying special attention to the mark that drove her nuts.

She giggled and kissed back, unease about being over his burial plot magically forgotten.

...

Before anything got too steamy, Buffy's phone began to ring in her pants pocket. '_Always when we're busy_.' She thought dejected again.

Angel reached a long arm over and pulled her discarded pants closer so she could pry the screaming phone from her pocket without leaving his embrace.

"Hello?" She asked, hiding a giggle as he teased her in a very inappropriate manner.

"Um, hey Buffy! It's Willow...as I'm sure you know by my voice...so we were just wondering...um...when you were coming home?" The witch asked, two very unhappy children now knowing their mother was also gone wailing their sorrow from the other room.

"Why? Are the kids ok? Did something happen?" She rushed out, motherly instincts flaring.

Angel stopped his ministrations and listened, worry overpowering lust.

"No! No nothing is wrong...per say." The redhead replied.

"Then what?" Buffy asked, now hearing Katie and Liam crying in the background. "Are they ok?"

"Just missing their parents." Willow supplied.

"Oh...right. It must be well past morning there now. I should be getting back. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ditch you guys with babysitting duty for so long." Buffy admitted, realizing time got far, far away from her. She'd only planned to spend a few hours with Angel then head back before the kids got up...that hadn't quiet happened as planned.

"Well...if you guys are...um...busy..." Willow asked shyly.

Even thought Willow was hundreds of miles away, Buffy's cheeks tinted red. "Tell the kids mommy will be home very soon, Ok?"

Angel heard the conversation easily enough and began to untangle from her. As much as he wanted to be greedy with his wife, he knew their kids needed her too. There was plenty of time when he got back and the kids were asleep for him be be selfish with her.

After she hung up, they both dressed quickly.

"Is Willow teleporting you back now?" He asked, shrugging his coat back on, and silently loving the lingering scent of his wife all over it.

"I've got this little magical thingie." she replied, pulling out a small packet of herbs from her new coat. "I just say the words, burn the stinky powder and poof, back in Hellmouth county, U.S.A."

"That sounds...trustworthy." He commented a little worried for her. "Hey, were did you hide that?" he asked, not seeing it before when they were buying the new outfit.

She grinned, but didn't answer.

After a moment she sighed, "I should go now, the kids didn't sound happy." She felt guilty for leaving him here...alone...in the middle of no where.

He nodded and hugged her against him, "Go to them, they need their mother." He urged, letting her off the guilty train.

"They need their father too. Come home with me?" She asked, Willow having made the potion spell strong enough to transport him too.

He wanted to, but shook his head. "What about my luggage? Plus I'm legally in the country, if I just poof back home, it'll look funny if there is no record of me traveling back. I'm human now, mostly, I can't fly under the radar like I did when I was dead." He reasoned.

She nodded, accepting his argument but not liking it. "When will you be back?"

"My flight touches down in Cleveland on September 15, 2pm."

"Two whole days from now?" She pouted.

He grinned and kissed her cheek, "I'll be back before you know it. Just make sure you're at the airport when I land."

"Promise you'll be there in one piece." She demanded, still anxious about him flying. He might be able to survive a lot of things having a demon in him, but a plane crash wasn't one of them.

"Nothing could keep me away from you. Promise." he soother her fears, kissing her forehead again.

She went straight for his lips for her goodbye kiss, neither of them ever saying the words out loud.

"I'll see you soon." She ordered.

He grinned, "Dhá lá, a chuisle. Tá grá agam duit, chailleann tú cheana féin."

She laughed inside at his emotions taking over his language controls.

"English honey." She scolded playfully.

He laughed slightly, "Sorry. I said two days, my love. I love you, miss you already."

"Big softy." She teased. "I love you too."

He grinned, "Tell the kids I love them, give then a hundred kisses for me, Ok?"

"Only a hundred? You're slacking off." She quipped as a defense mechanism for her nervousness of using magic. She was good with the physical stuff; hitting, stabbing, slicing, dusting, chopping. Not so much with the magicks...or driving...

Before her nerve wore out, she pulled the lighter out to burn the powder for the spell to send her home.

She set it up on his headstone and said the words, then set the packet of herbs and sand alight.

In a flash Buffy vanished, Angel was felt staring at the crumbling remains of the spell packet.

He nodded and turned to go, a flash a green and white caught his eyes and he smirked as he picked up the item sitting by his grave.

Grasping his wife's 'forgotten' panties, he traveled back to the hotel with a spring in his step.

...

Buffy swept her crying children into her arms the second she materialized in her bedroom. Willow relieved she was back had quickly went downstairs so the mother could comfort her unhappy children.

...

The sky over Galway was bathed in darkness. That tended to happen as night fell and the sun sank down to sleep for the evening.

Angel breathed in deep, his lungs filling with the rich salt air surrounding the coastal city.

His home was different now, but in so many ways, exactly the same. Buildings stood in the same spot, only the names had changed. The streets were repaved but they were the same streets he'd walked down thousands of times in the past. The fields held new grass, but the soil was no different than the dirt that had caked his shoes as a youth.

Everything around him echoed the past.

It didn't bother him, in fact he enjoyed the feeling. It made him feel a little less old. Seeing how the face of the city could so easily hide the age it bore underneath the surface. Much like himself, he had so many years tallied against him, yet here he stood, looking like a man of 30 when he'd walked the earth for over 300 years. Most didn't count his stay in Acathla's hell dimension, but he did. He'd felt time flowing though him, known decades passed him by as he suffered unknown torment.

Shaking the memories away, he continued walking down the vacant street.

He could feel eyes watching him from the closed windows overlooking the mostly empty streets. Generations of being prayed upon by Mal and his vampire gang had left most citizens afraid to leave their homes at night.

Angel and Buffy took care of that problem.

Over the last hour he'd gone out and vanquished any remaining demons in his old home town. For the first time since 1753, there was nothing lurking in the darkness...except him that was.

He wasn't sure where he was going until his booted feet stopped at the entrance of the alley he'd died in.

Nothing was different about it, it hadn't changed one bit in the many years since his body was discovered cold and stiff within its brick walls.

He turned quickly and walked away, unwilling to ever set foot down that cursed street again.

Hours perhaps passed as he wandered aimlessly around the sleeping town, drinking in his old stomping grounds. He passed by streams he'd played with William Jr in, later bringing Kathy to teach her how to swim. He grinned as he passed the homes of old friends, remembering the joys of his boyhood while his brother still lived and as a young man when he was hiding from his father's wrath.

His journey ended as he stood outside the cemetery, not the one he'd been buried in. The church had denied his body being placed within the family plot, his 'crimes' against their religion barring him from being laid to rest in a plot of dignity.

He'd never seen his parents grave before, Darla had whisked him away from Galway before their bodies had even been found.

His dark eyes scanned the darker graves with ease even in the low moonlight. This cemetery was still maintained as a historical site, the stones and grounds well kept.

"This area is off limits to the public at night." A heavily Irish accented voice called in English from behind him.

A little startled, Angel turned, seeing an ancient priest walking from the parish located in the outskirts of the graveyard. The old man looked as if he'd been here when the church first opened it's doors in 1532.

"It can be dangerous outside at night, I suggest you go back to your hotel and return in the morning." The priest warned, eying Angel nervously. For a holy man, he'd seen more than his fare share of the unholy lurking in the shadows. The beings he'd often met at night, if not foolish tourists, were not usually human.

"My apologies Father, I hadn't meant to trespass." Angel spoke in old Gaelic, reaching a hand out to shake with the priest. "Angel Summers" He offered his name.

The white haired man watched him carefully, holding his cross in his outstretched hand so the holy object would touch Angel's skin and reveal if he were a demon in disguise. "Father Nevan Molony" The aged man replied.

Angel's amused eyebrow rose, knowing the man's name roughly translated to Saint servant of St. John, the old man shrugged, "The priesthood is in my blood, and now I can claim I've met an angel."

Angel simply gave the hand a few simple pumps and released it. "That's a fine cross, may I." He asked, recognizing the design.

Seeing the dark man lingering in the shadows was human and not some foolish tourist, the priest offered apologies and handed Angel his cross.

"It's old, early 1700s." Angel examined the golden cross, remembering one like it stood at the alter when he was a boy.

"You know your antiquities." The old man grinned. "Circa 1724, was part of the alter until it was replace in 1801. Comes in handy at night." He replied in Gaelic.

Angel nodded, "I bet it does." He agreed, letting the priest know he was aware of the things that go bump in the night.

"What is your business here then Mr. Summers, the cemetery is unwelcoming at night." The old man asked, curiosity peaked.

"Just looking for a plot, old roots." He answered.

"What be their name?"

"O'Connor." Angel provided.

The old man shook his head, "You must be mistaken, that line ended in the 1750's. There are no decedents."

"Still, could you show me where to find them? I'll only be but a moment, honest." Angel asked with his most charming smile.

Father Molony's dark grey eyes studied Angel's deep brown for a moment, seeing an ageless wisdom far older that his 97 years reflecting back. He nodded, "Very well, you'll be their first visitor."

A few minutes later Angel stood alone at the O'Connor plot. The large stone marker held the name of four people. Age had not been kind to the engraving. A stunningly carved cross adorned the monument, worn dull from acid rain. Despite the passage of time, the artists eyes in him could see every detail the design once held, the image burning into his memory.

"It impossible, but you know them don't you?" Father Molony asked as he came to stand by Angel.

Slowly angel nodded, "Yes. They're my family."

"O'Connor...the records show they had a son named Liam. Rumors say the boy was a curse, died badly, rose a demon and plagued this town ever since."

Angel remained silent.

"Angel...Angelus then." The priest asked.

"Yes." Angel didn't deny, silently impressed with the priest's knowledge of such things. "I sired the demon who terrorized this town, he used my name while I paved a path of death outside this island." After a moment he continued, "He's gone now, all of them. The town is safe, the curse ended."

Despite hearing what he'd just heard, the old man didn't try to run. "You're no longer a demon?" He asked, curious how someone could be cured of the curse of vampirism, if the Lord had intervened.

"I still carry it within me, but now it's used for good. I use my darkness to fight the darkness."

"And how does such a thing happen?" The priest pressed.

Angel grinned slightly, seeing the old man was looking for a sign of God, to know his life's devotion to the church wasn't wasted.

"My soul was restored to me." He answered, leaving out a lot but figuring it was enough to validate the old man's life work.

Father Molony smiled at that. "A miracle then." He offered.

Angel nodded, a smile on his lips. "Yes it was."

...

An hour later Angel's feet stopped him at a small shop in the northern most part of town. Smelling the air he knew the creature he'd come to find was still residing within. He hadn't been here since losing a bet in 1753, only a day after he'd murdered his family.

He'd been young and cocky, the proof forever carried on his back in the shape of a gryphon.

At the time, he was still soaring high on family blood running though his cold veins. He'd wanted to immortalize his victory as a tattoo. His sister calling him an angel was still buzzing in his head and he'd wanted to have a pair of broken wings tattoo onto his back, representing a fallen angel.

He'd gotten mouthy with the tattoo artist, a demon who's name he hadn't bothered to learn. The demon had handed him a glass of strong brew, his own creation, and bet him he couldn't drink more than three glasses without passing out.

Liam had been no stranger to drink in life, but after he'd been turned, ale would flow through him like water. "You're got yerself a bet." The newly made demon had agreed, taking the first of the three shots eagerly.

Hours later, he'd awoken to a sore right shoulder blade. Without being able to see his reflection in a mirror, it had taken time to learn what had been etched into his flesh. When Darla had described the image, he'd raged at the offense at not having the broken angel wings he asked for, but a symbol from a religious book forever marking his skin.

The image represented the duality of nature and ironically the wealth of the sun, it was inspired from the Book of Kells, which he was well familiar with from his time in the church as an alter boy. The winged figure represented the Evangelists. The Gryphon specifically a symbol for Saint Mark.

He'd gone back to kill the demon, but found he'd skipped town.

Over time his anger had faded and he'd accepted the tattoo; out of sight, out of mind. He'd adopted the new name Angelus that was represented with the letter A in the Gryphon's claws.

Now he found himself reentering the shop, still looking very much like it did 250 years ago.

"Have you come back to kill me after all this time vampire?" The cold voice of the demon he'd angered spoke from the back room. "Or perhaps you're here to pay for the tattoo?"

Angel smirked at that, he'd forgotten he'd stiffed the guy on payment. "Neither." The living vampire replied as the scaled demon appeared from behind a curtain, "But I'd be willing to offer payment and an apology if you'd be willing to put this on my other shoulder." Angel placed a piece of paper on the table showing in vivid detail what he wanted.

The demon's red eyes scanned the image like a computer scanner, instantly memorizing every detail. Those crimson eyes then lifted to meet Angel's, "Do you fancy you're self a masochist now vampire?"

Angel shook his head, "Just a man looking for a tattoo."

The demon breathed in deeply, smelling the humanity mixed with the stench of a vampire rolling off the dark haired man. Eying him closely he could even see the soul within. "Indeed you are."

"Angel Summers" He extended his hand to the green demon, "I don't think I've had the pleasure."

Slowly the demon accepted the offered hand, "You could not pronounce my name in any earth tongue, but many call me Art."

"Glad to finally meet you Art." Angel grinned, "So what do you say, we have a deal?"

Seeing the living man was nothing like the rude, ungrateful demon of the past, Art nodded his head. "I believe we do, Angel."

...

Two days later Buffy stood impatiently at the gate the digital screen had indicated Angel's plane would arrive at. Liam was fussing in her arms as Katie shifted around restlessly at her side. "Mommy, where's Daddy? You said Daddy was coming home. I don't see Daddy..." she pouted, having inherited her mother's lack of patients.

"Soon honey, see the plane landing, that's him." She pointed to the small dot appearing in the sky and slowly growing into a aircraft as it closed in on the ground.

It seemed to take forever for the plane to taxi to the terminal and the gangplank be attached to unload the passengers.

Buffy was just finishing cleaning up the juice box Liam had spilled when passengers begin filtering out.

"Ok Katie, keep an eye...Katie?" Buffy looked around and felt a wall of fear crush over her as she realized her daughter was gone. "Katie!" she called louder, looking around frantically as the tired passengers filtered passed her.

She turned panicked eyes towards the unloading dock again and sighed in relief when Angel appeared carrying his bag in one hand and their daughter in the other.

She rushed over to them, hugging them both, Liam happily squished in the middle.

"Oh my God, don't ever disappear like that again!" She scolded her daughter for scaring her near to death. She had snuck away and ran down the walkway into the plane to find her daddy.

After the initial shock was gone, she quickly hugged her husband, "You either, you're also not allowed to wander off again." She ordered kissing him.

"Done." He agreed, having had his fill of being away from them to last a lifetime.

He took his kids in his arms as Buffy took his bag, the reunited family heading together to get his suitcase from baggage claim.

"Ok, I've seen that suitcase 3 times already...what did they do with yours?" Buffy paced.

Angel just chuckled and dropped a kiss on her head, he would have wrapped his arms around her but the kids refused to be put down. Truth be told, short of cutting off his arms he wasn't letting them go. "I sat at the window, I watched them load it. Be patient a chuisle."

"What does that mean? She asked, not remembering.

"Literal translation, my pulse." He replied. "But it can also mean my love."

She grinned and leaned against him, "I like it."

...

A short time later they were heading to the parking garage, he with their kids and her with his bags.

When they reached the SUV she eagerly handed him the keys and took Katie to strap her in the car seat while he buckled Liam in.

She happily jumped into the passenger seat as he tossed his bags into the trunk.

"Really glad you don't have to drive anymore huh?" He grinned, climbing in and getting stuck since the seat was pulled all the way forward for Buffy to reach the peddles. "Ack...ow...gees Buffy, what are you a hobbit?"

She just stuck her tongue out at him as he adjusted the seat and mirrors.

He just laughed and headed home, glad to be back.

...

The next morning.

Buffy woke when the morning light streamed in from the partly open window curtain and left a trail of warmth along her arm.

Opening her eyes she glanced down at her husband sleeping atop her lithe form, his head resting between her natural pillows sent a rush of excitement through her bones.

She'd sorely missed waking up with him against her.

A smile slid across her lips as she ran her right fingers through his messy sex-tussled hair and caressed down his nape.

Her digits wandered lower, running along the tattoo on his left shoulder blade then partly down his spine, to turn back up and run over his right side with her left hand. As she fingered the familiar gryphon tattoo an alert popped into her head. '_Angel's tattoo is on his right shoulder...so what was that on his left?'_

Caressing suddenly on hold, she turned her attention back to his left shoulder and glanced down at the unfamiliar design.

'_A cross_?' She wondered, looking at the upside image from her perspective.

Slipping out from under him, and getting an unconscious groan of displeasure from him in the process, she straddled his hips to get a better right sided view of the image.

It was a very elaborate design of an Irish cross, Celtic knots woven within the interior. A Claddagh circled the 'arms' of the cross, the hands holding a small crowned heart, her name written in fancy script within.

A tear welled up in her eyes as her fingers caressed over her name.

"Wondered when you were going to notice that." Angel mumbled sleepily from beneath her.

"You didn't have this two days ago." She reasoned, mentally collaborating with her memories for validation of the statement.

"The night you left...paid an 'old friend' a visit." He answered her unasked question.

"It's beautiful...where did you get this picture?" She asked, looking at all the details.

"I drew it...it's what the marker on my parents grave used to look like, before time dulled the details. I added the Claddagh...well I'm sure you can figure out why."

She leaned down and placed a light kiss over the heart with her name, "I think I have a pretty good idea." she purred.

He groaned in contentment as she ran her hands over his shoulders, her eyes comparing the twin tattoos on his back.

"It's amazing, they both have the same attention to details, the same color and style..."

"Should, same guy did them both." He offered.

"Really" she asked, "Obviously not human than." She added a second later.

He chuckled a little, "No, no he isn't. To be honest...not sure what he is."

"So you let him permanently ink your body?"

"He owed me a tattoo."

"For what?"

He rolled over and pulled her down. "Old history, nothing worth dredging from the river bed." He dismissed, deciding to sample the bare flesh that sat so teasing close to his lips.

She giggled as his slight beard tickled her neck, he needed a shave. She told him so.

"Later." He mumbled, exploring down her body with well placed kisses.

She rolled beneath him and surrendered to those lips.

...

End, for now.


	48. Frozen Turkey Dinner

Drabble - A few weeks after, Home Is Sometimes Hardest. (September 2007)

* * *

Buffy stretched out and snuggled back up to her favorite pillow, lazy Saturday mornings were the best, especially before the kids woke up and demanded their full attention.

She turned her head slightly and looked up at her slightly snoring hubby, smiling at the sight and laying her head back down on his chest to listen to his heartbeat. Angel had been human for over three years, but the sound of his heart beating still fascinated her, she figured it always would. Kinda like the sound of her children's laughter, it never got old, no matter how often she heard it.

Ever since he returned from Ireland, he's been so much calmer. Not that Angel had ever been wild, but she could clearly see the difference in him now his demon was no longer at a slow broiling rage. He didn't bottle up his anger anymore, since frankly, he didn't have any. Not saying he wasn't capable of getting mad, he was, but he didn't need to spend hours working off his demon ire with a punching bag as he used to when the bottles began to overflow.

Now that he'd finally forgiven himself and achieved his long sought redemption, he was at peace. She could see it in his eyes, no broody vampire crap, no poor meing, no demon fighting to reek havoc…just a man that was happy with his life.

Angel felt his wife's gaze on him, as she often basked when he was still asleep, as he slowly woke. He didn't mind, he'd done it often enough to her. He liked her beautiful hazel green loving eyes to be the first thing he saw in the morning. Eager for that treat, his chocolate brown eyes emerged behind the heavy lids, blinking the residue of sleep from his mind.

"See something you like?" He joked, bending in for a good morning kiss.

"Always." She happily obliged him, having thought of the idea a moment ago but deciding to let him wake naturally for a change.

She giggled as he playfully rolled on top of her, nipping at the ticklish spot on her ear.

"No fair." She whined through the laughter, hard paced to catch her breath during his assault.

"All's fair in love and war." He muttered, moving lower and finding his mark especially delectable today.

As his lips worked over her beautifully scared skin he couldn't help but think how perfect his life was.

If someone had told him 5 years ago what his future would have brought, he may have dusted laughing so hard at the impossibility of it.

Now though, now nothing would take him away from his family. This life was perfect, almost too perfect…the yearly almost dying on his part tended to keep things in perspective for him.

Deep down, buried in his subconscious he often wondered if this life was even real. If perhaps he'd gone insane at some point or he was still trapped in the coffin at the bottom of the ocean that Connor sent him that summer. His starving and fevered mind was just dreaming this life to escape reality, that Buffy and the kids were just painful illusions for a broken man.

As a sexy blond slayer wrestled him onto his back, he couldn't help but think, '_If I am dreaming…never wake me up_.'

Going back to his life the way it had been, losing his family, would be the worst torture he could ever imagine.

* * *

November 22, 2007 - Thanksgiving Day.

* * *

"Angel!" Buffy yelled into the kitchen over the steady drone of the crowd mingling in the living room.

"Huh?" He responded, pulling up from the oven after basting the turkey for the 100th time in 3 hours.

"Something's wrong with the stuffed mushrooms!" She panicked, not understanding why the hors d'œuvre were being completely snubbed.

He walked over quickly, knowing his wife tended to be rather tightly strung during the holidays and took them from her, placing them on the counter.

"Could be since these aren't cooked yet." He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Relax _a chuisle_." He whispered into her ear, the Irish word for love mixed with his voice often calmed her nerves.

"I just want everything to be perfect." She countered. The holidays for her meant something deeper than just a holiday. It was a time to remember her childhood, the way her mother hosted family get-togethers. Traditions helped keep her sane in the world of the insane. Now the she was both a wife and a mother she felt is was her duty to make each holiday come to life as it did when she was a child.

"It is Buffy, I promise." He insisted, hugging her against him. "We're all here, we're happy, we're healthy…how more perfect can you get with this bunch." He grinned.

"You have a point." She nodded, seeing the fact there was another slayer in the living room, a souled vampire, a witch, a were-wolf, a man born of two vampires, a woman that had been a key, a watcher, two children born of a half-vampire and a slayer, and a normal guy that somehow survived everything supernatural over the last eleven years while still being 100% human.

Anything non-supernatural involving that particular group of people was a blessing in itself.

"Umm, dad." Connor poked his head into the kitchen, looking nervous.

"What's up?" Angel asked, not liking the worry in his son's blue eyes.

"Ahh, I think Spike and Faith are umm…upstairs…" He tattled.

Buffy's eyes widened. "What!" She yelped, instantly forgetting about the undone snacks and fearing for her bed sheets she rushed upstairs to kick the constantly fornicating couple the hell out of her bedroom.

Angel just shook his head as Buffy vanished, equally miffed at the lusty couple but somewhat glad for the distraction for Buffy's sake.

"So, when's the turkey going to be ready?" Connor asked, stepping into the kitchen and wandering closer to the food. He did have his father's apatite.

"About an hour." The part time vampire replied, pulling a tray of cooked stuffed mushrooms out of the large capacity toaster oven Xander lent them on the counter. "Want to pass these around?" he asked, handing a pair of oven mitts to his son.

"Sure" The young man's mouth watered in hunger as he snagged one to sample. At Angel's look of disapproval he just shrugged, "What, need to make sure they're done."

With Buffy no longer hovering behind him and scolding that the food was for the guests, Angel took one too, to sample for doneness of course.

Once he was alone in the kitchen again, Angel put the uncooked mushrooms in the toaster oven and continued his guard over the slowly roasting turkey.

At least until a little pair of arms wrapped around his left leg.

"Sneaking off to someplace quiet huh Bud?" He grinned out, looking down at his youngest son as he hugged his father's leg.

Liam may look like Buffy in nearly every way, but he has his dad's personality. The one and nine month old preferred to watch things as apposed to being in the middle like his sister. He preferred the quiet.

In a second, the baby was secured in a big arm, content to be held and watch his father cook.

"What's that?" Angel asked the boy. "Can you say turkey?"

The blond haired hazel-green eyed baby looked at him a moment, as if trying to decide whether to play along or not, then attempted, "Urkey."

The next twenty minutes went along in the same manner; Angel named foods as Liam repeated them, making a game of it.

In the background, the living vampire listened to the low conversations in the living room and the thumping of Buffy kicking the inseparable Vampire/Slayer couple out of the house.

...

A slightly flushed Dawn rushed into the kitchen, eyes wide the threat of possible death hanging over her shoulders. "Angel, I can't find…." She trailed when she saw the baby in question smiling in Angel's arms. "Oh, never mind." She breathed out, relieved her charge was ok.

"Someone slacking on their baby sitting duty?" The dark haired man questioned his sister-in-law. Slightly angered she'd let the toddler just wander off alone. What if he hadn't been in the kitchen? Liam could have touched the stove...

"Umm…" The young woman's blush gave her away.

"Were fine in here, but next time you stop watching my kid to make out with your boyfriend…I'm telling Buffy." He warned, knowing that would be a harsher threat then anything else he could have said.

"I'm sorry! It won't happen again!" She squeaked out and slipped from the kitchen, the threat of potential doom still lingering over her.

...

An hour later everyone was gathering around the table set up in the living room, passing around tons of food and sharing in the happy spirit of the holiday.

So beat getting attacked by ghost demon Indi...Native Americans.

Katie was more interesting in starting a food fight than actually eating, but Buffy was doing her best to keep food in her mouth and not flying across the table.

Liam sat contently in Angel's lap as he fed them both. Angel's own plate rapidly clearing as they both inhaled the turkey dinner. When it came to food, Liam never refused.

Buffy glanced over at her guys, and shook her head in affection. '_How are they not fat?_'

Xander was digging into his plate with eager enthusiasm when suddenly the talking and eating sounds around him suddenly stopped dead.

It took a second before he broke away from his plate, and turning his head to see around both sides of the table. "Uhh...what?" He asked confused with a mouth full of mashed potatoes.

Everyone was frozen solid.

After a second the shock wore off and he pushed back from the table quickly, knocking his chair over in his haste. "What the…guys?"

Mark appeared from the bathroom and looked at the frozen dinner table. "Huh? Dawnie?" he asked, looking equally spooked. He ran over to his girl and noticed Dawn was also immobile. "Xander! What the hell happened? Dawn's like…on pause or something!" The young man freaked, worried about his girlfriend.

Xander pushed down his rising panic, he didn't have time to yell and scream and cry like a kid. Experience helped him keep a calm demeanor.

"Ok…I'm thinking spell." He rationalized, talking out loud to get his thoughts flowing. He looked over at the clock on the wall, watched as the hands moved steadily around the face. "So time wasn't stopped, since it's still moving. Ahh, some how we weren't affected…but why?" he asked aloud and partly to the freaking Mark.

"Dawn? Dawnie baby you need to move!" Xander watched as the young man grabbed Dawn's shoulder…and froze the same as everyone else.

"Whoa!" Xander yelped and jumped back from the table and the immobile guests, realizing whatever happened was transferable by touch.

"Oh crap." He winced, the 1,000 comic book scenarios rushing his brain doing little to ease his 'how do I fix this' worry.

...

Twenty minutes of pacing and looking around the house had brought him no answers. He was just thankful nothing had come into the house to massacre everyone while they were helpless. Wouldn't that be a wonderful replay way to celebrate Thanksgiving…and a little ironic.

He was looking at Buffy when the idea struck him. _'Supernatural…they're all supernatural. That's why Mark and I didn't freeze up…we're just regular Joe's._' He glanced over at the paused Giles, remembering the watcher told them of conjuring a demon in his youth, letting it possess him for a time, demon whose mark he still bore on his arm.

Eyghon, now long dead by Angel's demon so many years ago.

_Ok, so one responsible demon possibility down…a zillion more to go.' _He sighed and flipped open a demon book from Angel's mini library.

...

It seemed like hours passed as Xander paged though occult books and searched for possible reversal spells. "Damn it!" He sighed in frustration, slamming the book closed and sending a small cloud of dust up from the ancient tome. "I'm go out for snacks guy, not research guy! I'm useless!" He cried in worry over not being able to figure out what was affecting his friends.

"Finally figured that out did ya?" A voice agreed from behind him.

Xander yelped at the unexpected sound and spun, his eye focusing on the woman standing in the doorway.

In a second he realized he knew her, she'd cut her hair, got some new clothes but he'd know Amy Madison anywhere, she spent years in the care of Buffy and Willow while in rat form.

The young woman was a fellow alumni from Sunnydale High and a very powerful witch. '_Granted she was a rat for graduation, so technically she never graduated…thus not really an alumnus…_' The 'being a witch' part in his brain suddenly clicked him off the random tangent and back on track.

"You, you did this." He accused, his eye widening in realization that he was currently facing a very powerful witch, with no weapons even, who obviously wasn't batting for their team.

Amy walked further into the house, grinning at her handiwork when she spotted the 10 statues sitting around the table. "Neat huh? The great and powerful Willow stuck with a carrot on her fork for all eternity. And the bane of the demon world frozen with peas in her hair. All their powers…useless." She smiled, pleased with her spell.

"For what?" Xander shot out, angry at Amy's 'game'.

"For what!" Amy yelled, taken aback. "They ruined my life!" She countered. Recalling the last decade of her existence. "Everything that happened to me was their fault!"

"Really?" Xander jumped in, "Because the way I saw it, they saved your ass time and again!"

Amy glared angrily at the weak human standing in her way, flapping his big mouth like always. Eager to shut him up, she threw her hand out and sent a magical blast at him. _"Excudo!"_

The energy at him hard, knocking him down and forcing the breath from his lungs, but he pushed the pain away and taking a few deep chocking breaths, kept firing at her.

His words were the only weapon he had.

"Buffy and Willow helped you when your mom stole your body! They found, housed, fed and loved you for years after **you** turned yourself into a rat! After **you** ditched them to save yourself and leaving them to burn at the stake! Willow spent years searching for a de-rat spell and when she finally made you human again, **you** turned around and betrayed her, feeding her magick addiction and dragging her down with you! **You** kept punishing everyone else just so you wouldn't feel responsible for **your own** weakness!"

Another bolt hit him, weaker than the last. "Shut up!" She screamed, self loathing washing over her, displacing the anger and confidence she'd felt a moment ago.

Amy hated herself, hated everything she'd become in the last few years. She didn't want to be addicted to magicks, she didn't want to have no one standing beside her. She craved for human contact, but her own sickness drove them away…or she accidentally killed them.

No, no she wouldn't let herself think about that.

Xander spoke up again, seeing his words were doing something to her, "All that power, and what do you do with it? Waste it on revenge and anger that doesn't even exist! You're pathetic Amy."

Images of the last few months replayed in her mind, her own father telling her she had a problem, that he was ashamed…that she was pathetic.

His scream of agony as he died…she hadn't meant to kill him…but it didn't make it any less real.

"Shut up!" She yelled again, not quiet to Xander, unable to shake her father's pained voice from her mind. In desperation she threw another bolt at the dark haired boy who wouldn't shut up, but he managed to deflect it with a quickly snatched up a dinner plate.

The meal on it wasn't so lucky.

"All they ever showed you was friendship, and all you ever took from that was 'poor me.'" He continued, staggering back at her next blow, but remained standing, it was even weaker.

"Grow up Amy, your not in high school anymore, this isn't some game. These people sitting behind me. They use their power for something good; they make a difference in the world. What do you do?"

"Shut up Harris!" She snapped out, punching at him with her hand instead of magic.

He dodged the sloppy punch, being more adapt at hand to hand then she was, he tripped her up and wrapped an arm around her neck, pulling her back against his chest but not squeezing tight enough to chock, but putting enough pressure to keep her still.

"Look at them" he urged into her ear, "Can you honestly tell me that this is a fitting reward for people who tried at every corner to help you? That they deserve this for trying to help a friend? And yes I said friend. They always saw you as a friend, an ally, even when you made it clear you weren't interested in joining the good fight. They respected you wanting a normal life and letting you chose your own path. Turns out that path sucked…and now you want to blame them for your lousy choices? That's more pathetic than Harmony trying to kill us, and she's a soulless vampire."

"What do you want from me?" She chocked out, the last few years alone and lost hitting her full force, her father's death by her out-of-control magicks…"I don't have anyone, anything…I don't know what I'm supposed to do or where to go…I have power and all it does is drive people away!" she cried turning in his loosened hold and latching onto him, bawling.

She couldn't shake the feeling of powerlessness, of not being in control.

The pain of a junkie.

"Well casting spells on them usually does that…" He added dryly.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, please, please forgive me?" She cried, hating what she'd become over the years, feeling less human now than when she was a rat.

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to." He offered, looking at the statues that had been his family earlier in the day.

"If I take the spell off, they'll hate me…they'll kill me!" She panicked, afraid the Slayer would have no problem with gutting her and/or Willow flaying her alive as she did to Warren.

"They won't. They'd listen to you if you asked for forgiveness." He assured her.

"How do you know?" She asked, wondering if he _could_ know.

He shrugged, "Because I'll ask them to listen."

She sat contemplating her choices for a moment, trying to decide whether to remove the spell and brave the storm, maybe find some semblance of peace and redemption…or to spell Xander too and leave them all to die.

If they died, she'd be alone again. If they lived, she may still be alone if they kicked her out.

Decision made, she utter the foreign words and sent the spell.

...

Instantly, the gang unfroze, everyone restarting as if nothing had happened. Xander had barely released a breath of relief when Angel shoved past him and roughly pinned Amy to the wall, his hand tightly around her throat.

The moment he unfrozen, his vamp senses realized hours had passed, the smell of magicks was thick in the air. When his dark eyes landed on the stranger in him home, he flipped. In a second, Liam was in Giles lap and he was demanding answers.

"Who the hell are you and what did you do to us?" He growled. Messing with his family really brought out the demon in him, and that was a sure fire way to end up dead.

"Amy?" Buffy jumped up, seeing the situation, and handed Katie over to her sister as she and Willow quickly joined Angel. "What's going on?" The slayer demanded, taking no action to restrain her husband who's hand still clutched the dark witch's throat.

"Whoa, easy big guy." Xander jumped in when the shock wore off, having promised Amy that he would talk to his friends on her behalf. "She made a mistake, but she wants to change! We do that remember, help our friends when they ask for it."

"She's not _my_ friend." The living vampire growled, eying Amy mistrustfully.

"But she was ours." Willow chimed in. Yes, Amy had been one of the reasons she'd fallen so badly into abusing magicks, but forgiveness was part of the Scooby way. "I almost ended the world on a magicks high…and you guys helped me…because I asked for it…we need to give Amy that same chance."

Angel eyed his captive a moment, then turned to his wife and Willow, "She so much as lifts a finger…I'll carve her up like that turkey." He made sure Amy understood the threat was serious.

...

A few minutes later the four stood around Amy as she sat in the kitchen with her hands folded tightly in her lap, the young woman explaining what had happened and the details of her life over the past few years.

Willow was the most understanding, having experienced first hand what magicks addition was like and how easily control could be lost.

"I…I killed my dad." Amy whispered regretfully. She wiped a tear from her eye and continued to unload, "I came home on a magicks buzz…and he started yelling at me…telling me things…I just…I don't know what happened. I just tried to get him to stop…and I…I don't know what happened…he started to scream…"

Willow stepped forwards, wrapping her arms around the now sobbing woman.

"Does it ever go away." Amy cried onto Willow's shoulder, asking in the pain will ever end.

Sadly Willow shook her head, "Never. It's hard Amy, unbelievably at first, but if you're determined and work hard, it gets better. Slowly…but eventually it…hurts less." Killing Warren still bothered the red head sometimes, but it was few and far between now. She'd forgiven herself, and only hoped that someday Amy could say the same.

Seeing Amy was starting to open up to Willow and Xander, Buffy took her husband's hand and pulled him into the living room. Amy needed to feel safe, and having an angry living vampire and slayer standing over her shoulder wasn't going to make that happen.

"She won't do anything." She assured Angel, his eyes still dead set on the kitchen. "Ok, stop with the overprotective. I know she crashed our dinner, spelled us and our kids…and trust me, I really want to knock her around for it too…but just like with Faith, she needs a chance to change. We go in guns a blazing, and we lose her forever."

It was just like when Buffy charged his office in LA looking to rip Faith to pieces so many years ago. He'd known then Faith had the seed of redemption in her, it had just needed time to grow. The same was true now, Amy needed support, not threats.

Slowly, Angel's iron gazed drifted from the kitchen back to his wife's pleading eyes.

He never could say no to those eyes.

"Fine." He relented, still not trusting the witch he'd never met but heard only bad things about. "But she comes near the kids and I'm eating her."

Buffy shook her head at his dramatic but empty threat, she hoped it was empty anyways, but had no intentions of finding out. "Agreed." She took his hand and pulled him back towards the dinner table set up in the living room, the food piled on it now cold after being left sitting for hours.

The rest of the gang was milling about, keeping the children entertained and picking over the remains of dinner.

"Still beats that Thanksgiving with the bloody poor aimed arrows and those Indian vengeance ghosts…" Spike muttered as he sat sprawled on the couch. Faith sitting up against him.

They'd promised to behave themselves and Buffy had, abet reluctantly, let them stay for dinner.

"See that chick never mellowed huh?" The dark haired slayer commented, looking towards the kitchen. "Think she's got a chance to change?"

Buffy shrugged, "I hope so." She replied honestly while neatening up the table.

"She better." Angel muttered as he began cleaning the meat off the turkey carcass. When someone threatened his family inside his own home, it really, really nudged his darker side into full on protect mode. If Amy behaved, he'd let her work for redemption, he knew how important it was to forgive yourself, but if she attacked his family again, she was dead.

...

A short time later Xander announced he was taking Amy home with him, to both watch over her and to help her.

Willow promised she would come by daily to help too. She decided Amy shouldn't come stay with her and Oz mostly because their house was full of magical related items, Xander's wasn't.

Also it helped that Xander wasn't married.

Nothing ruined the romance in a relationship than a recovering junkie in the bedroom next door.

It wouldn't happen overnight, but if Amy was serious, then she'd succeed in beating her sickness.

The Scooby gang would make sure of it.

...

End, for now.

...

Author's Note: No, Angel isn't evil in this story. He just gets really pissed when people mess with his family.


	49. 3rd Anniversary

Dec 4, 2007 – 3rd Anniversary. (Modern gift, Crystal. Traditional gift, Leather)

* * *

Buffy snuggled further into Angel's strong embrace; she loved waking up in his arms. That sensation would never get old, no matter how many years they spent together.

She lifted her head from his chest and looked down at him; he was still more asleep than awake.

_'I can fix that._' She thought and leaned down, kissing his chest and slowly moving up towards his lips. By the time she reached said lips, he was fully kissing back.

"Good morning" she whispered to him as he glided his lips along her throat.

"Could be a _very_ good morning." He told her, making his way back to her lips.

His hands had begun to wander over her back, tracing ticklish patters across her spine.

She giggled against his ear, nipping it since she was there. She knew he loved that.

She was defiantly feeling her arousal when he suddenly pulled back, cursed and began to get out of bed.

"What?" She asked, wanting her husband of three whole years today to keep doing what he started…or what she started…didn't matter who started...as long as it got finished.

"I'm late" he said looking at the clock again.

"Late for what" She asked, sort of mad he was leaving on their anniversary. '_Does he even remember?_' she thought sadly.

"Work, I needed to be somewhere…like twenty minutes ago." He said quickly, pulling some clothes from his closet.

"Where? For what? How come I don't know about it?" She demanded, following close behind as he hurried into the bathroom to rinse with some mouthwash and comb his bed head.

"I'll tell you after, promise…" He hurried as he finished up.

"How long will this take?" She fished, wanting a time to expect her husband back home and not out chasing demons or 'Powers-That-Be' knows what…

"Honestly, no idea." He stated, hurrying to tie his shoes and get his belt on.

"Angel…" Buffy addressed him, tying her robe and sporting a grimace.

Her tone stopped him short.

He turned and kissed her deeply, his minty fresh tongue apologizing for the rush out the door in a way words tended to fail. "I'm so sorry Buffy, I swear I'll be back as soon as possible."

Normally she would have fought him for a real, detail orientated answer on exactly where he was going and what kind of dangers he might be facing…but in light of what day it was she opted to let it slide. Maybe this was some secret anniversary present? Starting the morning yelling at him certainly wouldn't help the romance.

And if he actually forgot…well being yelled at would be the least of his worries when she next saw him.

He kissed her again, and told her he loved her, asked her to kiss the kids good morning for him, and then he was off.

Once the car disappeared from the driveway, she sighed she went to Katie's room, figuring the nearly 3 year old would be waking up soon.

Instead of a sleeping tot lying in the crib in Katie's room, she found a note in her place.

"What? Katie?" Buffy looked around, confused and worried.

Quickly picking up the note she read:

"Buffy, don't panic. Liam and Katie are staying at grandpa's today. I wanted you to unwind for our special day."

Buffy looked up and shook her head. _'I'm so killing my husband when I see him.' _She thought, grinning slightly at what her sneaky spouse had planned. Realizing the morning 'I'm late for work' act was really just a cover.

Returning her eyes to the note, she continued to the next sentence. "Relax this child-free morning, take a hot bath. Use the lavender bubbles, they make you smell even more amazing."

Shaking her head she checked Liam's room too, finding a note in the boy's crib just like his sister. "I meant it Beloved; just go take a bath and relax. The kids are perfectly fine."

_'What? How did he? So staking him._' With a smile of her lips she went into the bathroom and started the water, as she did, Buffy realized a long hot bath was just what she needed this morning. '_Although taking one with Angel would have been much more fulfilling…'_

When she pulled down the bottle of lavender soap, she found a deep red rose lying with it. '_He's so corny._' She thought, smelling it but secretly loving the little gift.

...

The water was getting cool and her fingers beginning to prune when she figured she'd basked in perfection long enough. Not to mention her tummy was rumbling.

As she pulled a big fluffy towel around her another note dislodged from the fabric and fell to the floor at her feet. It read; "How was your bath? Perfect I hope. Feeling hungry yet? Why don't you head downstairs and enjoy a nice cup of coffee and grab something to eat?"

_'What's he got up his sleeve now? And how'd he know which towel I'd grab?'_ She wondered, a little wigged how dead on his notes were while she patted dry and changed into a pair of fuzzy Pjs to lounge around the house in.

Ok, so bulky fuzzy pajamas weren't exactly sexy or the latest fashion or her husband's much too large for her but still fit perfectly shirt…but it was winter in Cleveland…and they were warm and soft and fuzzy...plus Angel had bought them for her when he'd seen her eying them. Which had actually surprised her, he usually preferred her to sleep in nothing…or anything as close to nothing as possible. Although when she wore them to bed, she could swear he snuggled up to her like she was his own personal life-sized teddy bear.

Heading downstairs, her slippered feet padded softly in the quiet house. A house that was so rarely quiet it was a little creepy. No children playing or demanding attention, no hockey playing on the big screen in the living room, no chatter from various friends and family…just her…alone.

Her sense of alone vanished when her hazel-green eyes landed on another deep red rose lying on the coffee machine, but didn't spot an accompanying note.

She inhaled the sweet scented rose with a smile and quickly placed it, and the first one she'd brought downstairs too, in a vase while making her coffee.

Reaching up to grab her favorite mug from the cabinet is when she found the little scrap of paper just like the others. _'How the heck did he know I would grab this mug?'_ She wondered, pulling it out of the cup so she could pour her just made coffee into it.

"Eat something light, don't want to ruin your apatite for when I take you out for lunch."

'_Lunch huh?_' She smiled checking the clock and finding it still only 8:30 in the morning. Grabbing a yogurt, she took her coffee and went into the living room, eyes keen for more notes as she settled onto the couch to watch the news.

...

After learning the weather would bring a chilling 24 degree that day she opted to head upstairs and shuffle though her closet for something to wear later, keeping in mind the cold but also wanting to dress in something revealing enough to make Angel drool when he saw her.

When she opened her closet, inside was a large garment bag hanging that she defiantly didn't recognize. Another rose was attached to it, along with a note. "Worrying about what to wear to lunch already? You shouldn't, you're always beautiful, no matter what you wear (or don't wear). Whatever you chose, your anniversary present will go with it, black goes with everything."

Almost jumping up and down at the prospect of new clothes, she grabbed the bag and quickly pulled the item out.

Her heart nearly dropped out of her chest when her eyes settled on the most beautiful leather jacket she'd ever seen. Immediately slipping it on, she felt the soft plush black lining glide across her sleeves. It fit her like a well worn pair of gloves, perfectly hugging her curves while allowing her room to move. She zipped it up and tied the belt, admiring the sleek stylish jacket in the mirror. '_God I love leather!_' She breathed in the new coat smell deeply, while hugging it around her. This wasn't a slayer patrolling coat, this was a woman's 'all dressed up and going out' coat.

'_He got me an expensive leather jacket…and I got him what is essentially a piece of glass…I'm a terrible wife…_' The thought only bothered her for a second before she was admiring her leather clad reflection in the mirror again. '_Eh, I'll make it up to him with sex.'_ As she twirled in the mirror she added, _'And boy is he ever getting lots of it._'

After spending the morning deciding what she wanted to wear and just enjoying a very rare lazy day at home, she got ready to surprise him when Angel arrived to pick her up for lunch.

...

She shook her head when the doorbell alerted her someone was at the door, but she already knew who it was, she could feel Angel when he was close.

Grinning she adjusted her new coat tighter and opened the door, "May I help you?" She asked, as if she was just a housewife and the man at the door was a stranger.

"I sure hope so." Angel grinned back, "Was hoping to find someone to accompany me out to lunch." He looked at the coat he'd bought her, saw how wonderfully it snuggled against her body.

"Oh, did you make a reservation?" She asked playfully, pulling away from the doorway and gesturing for him to enter.

He was a little curious as to why she was having him come in when they should be leaving, but didn't show it. "No, the place I have in mind doesn't usually crowd until dinner." He replied, looking down at her smooth bare legs as they perched in her impossibly high heels.

"That's good, now we won't have to cancel." She smiled, opening her coat and letting it fall onto the chair behind her.

Angel's eyes widened when he immediately observed underneath the coat she wore his favorite outfit.

Nothing.

"Oh." He replied dumbly, eyes caught in her chest, hungrily drinking her in.

A second later their lips were interlocking as she backed him towards the couch, eager to show him how much she liked her present.

As he fell backwards onto the sofa he laughed, "I need to buy you leather more often."

"Yes please." She replied, jumping on him.

A moment later, talking dissolved into something more primal.

...

Buffy was running her hands though her husband's hair, his head resting on her chest as they lay curled together on the couch.

"I like when our anniversary doesn't involve an apocalypse." She stated, enjoying the down time and the previous few hours of pleasure.

"Mmm." He mumbled against her, eyes half closed in contentment.

"Hey, you best not be falling asleep on me, I'm so not done with you." She warned, seeing what they had just done as nothing but a warm up to the marathon she was planning later that night.

He chuckled, "Really? What else did you have in mind?" He asked seductively, now perked up a little at the prospect of more one-on-one time with the wife.

"You'll see." She answered cryptically, then forgetting her plans as he slipped her right nipple between his lips.

The rest of the afternoon was spent lost in lust and love, leaving the couple free to express their feelings without the wonderful burden of children to interrupt them.

...

When 5 pm settled around Angel glanced at the clock and groaned, rolling out from under his wife. "Damn, I told Giles we'd pick the kids up half and hour ago."

A flood of loss washed over Buffy as her love rose from the bed, taking a significant amount of warmth with him. "Already?" She pouted. As much as she loved her kids, a break from them was a blessing.

"Well we could always pick this up after they go to bed." He teased, bending down and kissing her neck.

"True." She giggled and pulled him back down, letting their lips get lost for a few minutes.

"We should go." Buffy reluctantly pulled away after a while, "The kids must be driving Giles nuts by now."

"We could always ask him to watch them for the night." He suggested, nipping at her scar.

As temping at the thought was, she did miss the little monsters. "We can't take advantage of him like that." She denied, worming out of his grasp.

"He loves having them over." Angel insisted, having lost his will to leave the bed if his wife was still naked in it.

Realizing this, Buffy wrapped the sheet around her bare form, halting Angel's wandering eyes. "Sorry, Buffy World is now closed for the time being."

He growled a little in disappointment, but being cut off did let the blood flow back northward into his brain. "Right, we need to go pick the kids up."

...

Once they arrived back home, each with a rambunctious tot in their arms, life as normal resumed.

A.K.A, chaos.

Katie scarring the pants off them as she jumped across the furniture, Liam running around naked, walls being used to host crayon artwork, banging of pots and pans…normal.

Instead of cooking they ordered out, getting Chinese and enjoying the craziness.

Soon after dinner, they gave the kids their baths and tucked them in for the night. Angel had just shut Liam's door when Buffy slid up to him with a box in her hands. "I didn't get the chance to give this to you yet." A little nervous about what he'd think of his gift.

"You mean I get something besides sex?" He grinned, causing her to elbow him in the ribs.

"Sex isn't a gift." She stated as she had many times before, '_usually_.'

As she handed him the small box he could feel her excitement rolling off her in waves. "Open it already, I wanna know if you like it." She urged. When she'd learned the modern gift was crystal she'd nearly gave up hope on the spot. '_What the heck would Angel want made out of crystal? You can't kill demons with it, can't eat it, and can't show it off to your guy friends…all around it's just totally not a manly thing.'_ She'd thought dejectedly. Until she found what she got him at least.

Curious about what she'd found, he took the box from her hands as they walked back into their bedroom. He sat on the bed and opened it, pulling out a wallet sized piece of crystal with his favorite picture of Buffy holding the kids engraved inside the clear material. All three were smiling bright smiles in the picture, he knew it well enough since he himself had drew it.

"What…how did? It's a picture in a crystal." He stated, amazed by it but equally perplexed.

A grin washed over her, seeing he liked it and feeling a flare of smug at knowing something Mr. Knows-Everything knew zip about.

"Special lasers, make little tiny voids in the glass. With enough, they make a picture that will never fade or discolor." After a second, "Do you like it?"

"I love it." He agreed, pulling her in for a kiss. "I have to admit a ghrá (my love), I thought I was going to have to fake liking your gift, I mean how unmanly is crystal? I couldn't have been more wrong. You did wonderful. It's going right on my desk at work."

"Your desk has like ten zillion pictures on it already." She countered, hoping the present wouldn't get lost in the crowd.

"I only have 6 pictures, and I can never have too many images of you and the kids." He finished by kissing the tip of her nose.

"That why you never get any work done? Too distracted looking at us?" She teased him, knowing he works hard.

"I wouldn't mind being distracted by you right now." He grinned, leaning in and kissing her neck.

"I bought you something else." He mumbled into her skin a few minutes later, "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind trying it on for me." He added with a hint of hungry predator in his eyes.

"Another gift?" She asked, shocked, "Angel the coat was more than enough..."

"Well actually, this is more of a gift for me really." He replied quietly, unsure if she was going to like what he got, or if she was going to shove it down his throat in a fit of anger.

"What is it?" She asked, seeing the lusty gleam in his eye.

He just smirked and slipped out of bed to pull a tissue sized box from his sock drawer.

She eyed him, unsure how much she trusted that smirk. "We'll see." She told him, taking the box and disappearing into the bathroom to open it and decide if she'd 'model' for him or not.

When she removed the red wrapping and opened the box, her jaw fell open at the item inside. '_Where on earth did he get this!'_ She thought, pulling out the beautiful leather and brocade underbust corset. It had a black leather clasp down the center with leather trim and accents, but deep red brocade woven in intricate designs.

Intrigued she tried it on, fastening the lacing in the back and slipping on the barely there matching thong.

_'Damn, I'm sexy._' She thought smiling, checking out the hot mama in the mirror. She was a little wigged about the corset hugging just below her chest, leaving ample amounts of cleavage open and free hanging. '_No wonder why Angel picked this one...pervert._'

Taking a deep breath and mustering up her courage, she opened the bathroom and door and stepped out.

Her mouth fell open when she spotted her husband, also having sported an outfit change. "Oh...my...god in leather..." She whispered, drinking in the image of Angel wearing nothing but a tight leather thong.

"The saleswoman insisted I match." He managed before his thought process stalled out on Buffy's appearance.

In the words of the late Cordelia Chase "Hello salty goodness" Buffy muttered, shocked to see _him_ in sexy lingerie. I mean yeah, he did wear those 'I always have a heart on for Buffy' boxers, but this was... '_Am I drooling?_' She wiped her mouth as they both walked forwards, mesmerized in lust.

"Gotta say, liking the leather on you." He grinned, swallowing hard his desire to just pick her up and carry her into bed...or maybe just press her against the closest wall...

Neither of their leather 'outfits' remained in place for long.

...

Some time later.

They were curled up in bed together, outfits long since shed in lieu of the flesh of the other.

In the stillness of the night, her mind wandered to the date._ 'If I didn't lose it, our baby would have been born this month_.' Buffy thought sadly as she nestled in beside her husband, her hand brushing briefly over her flat, toned but empty stomach.

She didn't dwell on the miscarriage anymore, but the realization that she would have been a mother again this month did yank at the short cords of grief in her mind.

Automatically Angel placed a kiss on her forehead, tightening his arms around her as she snuggled closer to him, his solid form providing strength and love.

"Do you…want another child?" She asked him as she rested against his chest.

He grinned and chuckled a little, "Shouldn't you have asked that _before_ we forwent protection?"

She blushed a little, remembering her hormone induced tearing off of his 'outfit' and jumping him without so much as a though of protection. "I got caught in the moment…and that wasn't an answer." Leather clad Angel = Mental overload.

He ran his thumb down her cheek, looking lovingly into her eyes, "Yes, with you…I could have a dozen."

She snorted at the insanity of that, "I'm not birthing twelve kids, so you might as well smother that idea mister."

He smirked, "I'll settle for half a dozen."

She rolled her eyes, "I'm _not_ having six kids."

He leaned up and kissed her forehead, "Then I'll be happy with whatever you give me."

She sobered a little, wondering if her miscarriage was telling her something. "What if…I can't anymore?"

"Hey, you know the rules, we don't use 'if' statement anymore." He hugged her a little tighter, "Besides, I told you before, I love you, I love what you've already given me...I'm happy with what I've been blessed with, I don't _need _more. Yeah, if more is an option, I'd love more…but if not, I'm still happy. I guess it's kinda like chocolate cake."

She screwed her eyes up at him, "Chocolate cake? Ok you're either really hungry, or too much sex has somehow damaged the blood flow to your brain."

He chuckled, "Neither…well maybe a little hungry…but defiantly no brain damage."

"So…cake? Splainy?"

He thought a moment and explained his reasoning, "It's like, life with you is a slice of cake, it was perfect and delicious just the way it was. But then we had Katie and Liam, adding two more slices of cake to our piece. It didn't make the first piece any less delicious, only better because there was more to enjoy. The same rule follows, adding pieces only makes it better, but even if no more pieces are added…it's still the best cake I've ever had."

She looked down at him, actually surprised how beautifully simple yet perfect the explanation was. "That was beautiful." She kissed him, explaining with her mouth in a way without words how much she appreciated his analogy.

She loved that his heart was hers no matter what. That even if she couldn't give him another child, he'd still be content with the life they already had. She loved that if she wanted more children, he'd openly accept a new life into his arms.

She loved that he loved her unconditionally.

When she pulled back from the kiss they shared, she slapped his chest.

"Ow, what gives?" He protested, not actually hurt but a little spun by the unfounded assault.

"Now I want cake." She grumbled, the chocolate craving in her mouth at full speed ahead being totally his fault.

He grinned, feeling his sweet teeth chiming in too. "We can go buy one."

"It's 3 AM Honey, nothing's open…" she stated.

"We can bake one." He suggested.

She cocked an eye brow at him, "Remember the brownies I tried to bake once? Even _you_ couldn't choke them down." They must have been really bad if _Angel_ refused dessert.

He cringed a little at the memory; as much as he loved his wife...those were some vile brownies...more akin to square rocks. "Well…they were a little overcooked…."

"They were black." She countered. "Little puffs of smoke…I may have seen hellfire…"

"Ok so I'll bake the cake." He offered.

"Remember the cookies you baked? Those ended up hellfire too." She Shot down. He's proven on a near daily basis he could cook amazingly good food, but not everyone who could cook could bake too. As much of a sweet eater Angel was, she'd never really seen him actually bake anything, only binge on store-bought goodies.

"Hey! In my defense, you and Liam were sucked into a portal and my attention was a little diverted with the being unconscious thing. It's not entirely my fault they got a little overdone." He defended.

"Oh fine, you get a rematch." She surrendered.

"Ok, then let's find out if I can bake." He smirked, pulling her out of bed.

…

4:30 AM

"Mmm…I love cake!" Buffy grinned as she devoured her piece of perfectly baked warm from the oven and generously frosted chocolate cake.

"See…it's only gets better with every slice." He verified by added another piece to her now empty plate.

"We're going to get fat." She moped, feeding him a forkful off her plate. _'The more he eats, the less fat I'll feel.' _She reasoned.

"I don't know, we're pretty good at burning off extra calories." He smirked, sharing a chocolaty goodness kiss with her.

"We are aren't we?" She agreed, wrapping her arms around his neck and sliding into his lap. "After splurging on all this cake, we could use to burn a little more…" She offered with a wink.

"Hmm, dessert followed by dessert. I like it." He agreed.

"Dessert followed by dessert followed by dessert." She corrected, having started the night with a little 'calorie burning'.

"See, if it wasn't for you keeping me so well exercised, I'd have a double chin by now." He grinned, lifting her into his arms as he stood.

"Can't have that." She smirked, wrapping her legs around his waist to free up his hands. "I like my men lean."

He snorted and they heading back upstairs to their bedroom to add a little more sweetness to their night and maybe if they're lucky, start baking a new slice to add to their cake.

...

End, for now.


	50. Love and Ice

I know, I know, I've been horrible at posting for this story lately. Sorry! I have 10 zillion ideas and a few stories already written for it, but they take place in the future...need to fill in the gaps in between. I have plans for where I want it to go...but alas, the words are being ridiculously stubborn getting out of my head and onto the computer screen. I am working on it, have been almost daily...or at least reading other peoples fan-fictions for idea...I'll get it out eventually. Kinda feel like I'm in labor with the worlds most stubborn baby...

* * *

January 19, 2008

Buffy was pacing…she hated waiting…for anything…especially something as important as this.

Glancing down at her watch again she hurried over to the test strip sitting on the bathroom counter and glanced down at it.

Negative.

Her shoulders slumped in disappointment as she looked down at the pregnancy test in her hand, she'd hoped it would be positive this time, but once again the little blue strip indicated she was not with child.

_'It's been a month since we stopped using protection…why aren't I pregnant yet? We forgot protection just once after Katie was born and BOOM, Liam was conceived…so why aren't I pregnant yet?'_

With a huff, she dropped the used test into the trash and mopped back into the bedroom.

"Buffy? You ready to go?" Angel's voice carried up stairs from the living room.

"Coming." She yelled and grabbed the kid's diaper bag and a few odds and ends before rushing down to join her family in the kitchen.

"Something wrong, ghrá (my love)?" Angel asked as Buffy entered the room, he could immediately see something was stirring behind her eyes.

Pushing the disappointment away she smiled at him, "Nope, just needed to grab a few things." She lied as she took a well bundled up Liam from him so he could help Katie zip her coat.

She hadn't told him about the pregnancy tests, nor did she want to yet. She had no idea why, it was just something she needed to work over in her own head first before she could rationalize it to him.

He knew he was being lied to, but nodded. "Ok." He hoped she'd tell him what was wrong later…or he'd be forced to investigate.

A few minutes later the family exited their warm home and made a bee line in the snowy driveway towards the already running SUV.

Once the kids were buckled in their seats, Angel backed out and headed down the street to their destination.

As Angel drove, Buffy pulled the tickets he'd given her earlier that day from her pocketbook.

_"Happy Birthday Beloved." Angel spoke into her ear as he wrapped his arms around her from behind and slipped an envelope into her hands. _

_"Ohh, Prezzys, I like those." She beamed, taking the item and eagerly opening it. _

_Reaching in, she pulled out a set of four tickets, reading 'Disney on Ice.'_

_"It's not exactly what I originally planned…" Angel admitted, feeling her shoulders tense beneath his hands. Instantly he felt it was a failure on his part, he'd wanted to take her to a figure skating show since he remembered she'd loved Dorothy Hamilton as a child and her father used to take her every year on her birthday…but the ticket office was sold out…and they had the kids to worry about getting a sitter for on short notice…but a Disney show they could all attend…_

_"If you don't want to go…" He muttered unsure._

_She turned in his arms, a big smile of her face. "Of course I want to go!" She hugged him tight, "Thank you."_

_He pulled her tight and saw her eyeing the tickets again. "I know it's not the most romantic place to bring your wife on her birthday…" He started, a little worried she didn't like the gift and was just putting on a show for him. He didn't think many woman would be thrilled to go to a packed ice rink full of little children on their birthday if they had more adult options available. _

_"No." She interrupted quickly, "It's perfect."_

_Standing on her tip toes, she caught his lips in a hungry kiss, pouring all her love into it._

_When they finally broke apart he accepted that she really did love the gift._

What she'd really wanted for her birthday was to be able to tell Angel he'd be a father again, but since that wasn't an option, an ice show with her family was a decent runner up.

She hadn't been to an ice show in years, but she was indeed looking forward to it.

The fact it would be full of little kids didn't really bother her so much, she was actually looking forward to going someplace they could bring the kids. Previous activities spent outside the house or work hadn't involved bringing toddlers for obvious reasons, they were loud and demanding. Other than to the park, work or friends and family's houses, Katie and Liam really hadn't been anywhere yet. Buffy liked the idea of their first experience at a show to be on her birthday…of course that thought might come back and bite her later.

Luckily it didn't.

They arrived at the show location in Cleveland with plenty of time to find their seats and get settled before it began.

Normally, they only went to Cleveland when the Hellmouth was active and spewing demons, but the change of pace to visit while all was calm was rather pleasant.

Once in the arena, the show stole all her thoughts, it was mesmerizing.

During the performance, the kids were mesmerized seeing their favorite cartoon characters gliding around in front of them, Buffy was mesmerized by the expertise and fancy footwork of the skaters, some wearing rather large and clumsy outfits but still hitting every note and step in perfection, and Angel was mesmerized by his family's enthusiasm.

Angel was pleasantly surprised to find he actually enjoyed the show, his tastes tended to drift more towards adult themes, but his old world love of live performances and music made the show quiet enjoyable. He felt no shame admitting to enjoying musicals and ballet, and it seemed Disney on Ice pulled at the same cords in his heart.

"Ariel!" Katie cheered, along with half the little girls in the stadium when the red headed mermaid slid across the ice in a graceful arc, which should have been impossible for a being with fins…but the children didn't seem to notice that fact.

Liam squealed and clapped as Mickey and Goofy twirled around the stage, soon followed by a number more of the Disney gang.

Angel found Buffy clutching his hand when Beauty and her Beast did a solo skate together, a song professing their love echoing in the theater as they danced across the ice.

He leaned over the two seats their children occupied between them and whispered with a fake voice of insult, "I hope you're not inferring I'm the beast?"

She turned towards him, a mischievous gleam in her eyes that told him that was exactly what she was thinking.

"Gee thanks for the blatant insult." He muttered grumpily, slightly annoyed she was basically calling him ugly and hairy…which he very much perceived himself to be neither.

"My sexy beast." She whispered, pulling him in for a kiss.

In turn he growled pleasantly into her mouth, making her giggle at the vibrations on her lips.

"Hey, my kid can't see!." A fat lady sitting behind them said none too quietly, bringing a few eyes towards them.

They quickly moved apart, their kids hardly noticing as they watched the show with large awed eyes.

…

When the show ended, the dutiful parents waited in an impressively long line so the kids could meet their favorite characters.

Buffy took the opportunity to talk skating techniques with Prince Eric and Beauty as Angel held Katie and Liam for pictures with Arial and Mickey.

During the drive home, Katie and Liam were at full rambling speed as they garbled constantly about the show.

"That was perfect." Buffy smiled to her husband as he piloted the SUV towards home.

"Glad you liked it." He replied, very happy he'd bought the tickets.

"We should go to shows more often." She hinted.

He grinned, glancing towards the passenger side of the vehicle at his wife. "New birthday tradition?" He offered, knowing she used to go every year with her dad, so maybe it could evolve to every year with her family.

She thought about it a moment, a little pang of remorse for her long absent father sparked in her heart, she didn't even know if he knew he was a grandfather twice over.

"I'd like that." She answered her husband, a smile on her lips.

A short time later, her hand fell onto his knee, giving it a light squeeze and leaving a promise for more.

He spared his eyes off the road a moment and looked over at her, reading the gleam of want in her eyes.

"I think you know what else I want for my birthday." She said huskily against his ear as she bent closer, her hand moving up his leg to rest dangerously close to his groin.

His foot twitched harder onto the gas, bringing them home that much quicker.

* * *

February 14, 2008

It wasn't that unusual to wake up finding Angel watching her, it was one of his old stalker habits that he hadn't quite shaken yet.

Truth be told, she didn't much mind.

"Morning" He smiled at her, leaning down for a good morning kiss.

She obliged, letting her tongue play a little peek-a-boo with his.

His throaty laugh brought a giggle from hers, the vibrations tickling her mouth.

"Mmm, you taste like coffee." She mumbled as she went in for a second helping, letting the rich flavor of Angel and dark roast mix on her taste buds.

He pulled away after a moment, bringing a frown to her lips.

The frown vanished when a moment later he placed a steaming mug in her hands, filled to the brim with hot, perfectly prepared coffee.

After taking a long sip, she smiled back at him, "You're a godsend."

He just grinned and slipped down beside her, his own mug cradled in a big hand.

Silence fell between them for a while, light and comfortable, as they drank themselves more awake.

"Giles called, he can't watch the kids. He has a date." Angel broke the silence.

"Giles? Date? You're kidding….right?" His wife asked from beside him, those words waking her more than the liquid caffeine in her mug.

"I'm not. Turns out, everyone has Valentine 's Day plans this year." He informed her.

"Dawn?" Buffy asked, "Xander? Willow? Connor?"

"All booked for the day." At her pout he leaned down and kissed her cheek, unable to resist. "Sorry babe, but they have lives too."

"I know…it's just…weird" She continued to pout, her dream of an evening alone with her hubby was being squashed by the harsh boot of reality.

"Weird that people we know can have normal lives?" He questioned with a smirk.

"Maybe." She shrugged, not sure how she felt about her adoptive father on a date. "So, who is this woman Giles is going out with?" She tried to sound casual about it.

Angel didn't buy it. "Oh no, you keep that cute little nose of yours out of it. Giles doesn't need you scaring off another potential girlfriend."

"I didn't scare off the last girl!" Buffy shot at her husband, "She was totally not good for him! I did him a favor…she was…creepy."

"She wasn't creepy…she just…owned a lot of cats…" The part time vampire defended weakly.

"Yes, crazy cat ladies are filed under creepy." The slayer verified.

"Ok, she was…a little off." He admitted, remembering how the woman had made quilts for each of her cats, their names and birthdays embroidered on each one.

"That's putting it lightly." Buffy muttered, withholding a shutter.

…

Once they were able to pry themselves out of their warm and inviting bed, they each collected an awake but sleepy tot from their respective rooms and began the day as they normally did.

Angel prepared breakfast while Buffy cleaned the kids up and strapped them into their booster seat chairs.

Both children's mouths were running at full by then, asking a million questions or just making noise for the sake of hearing sounds.

Their parents didn't mind and were hard pressed to keep up with the questions that were spoken in a form of language which resembled English but couldn't quiet be called it yet; just a strange form of toddler garble that only a parent could understand.

The patter of little mouths muffed then fell silent when Buffy placed a sippy cup full of juice in front of each of the little chatter boxes.

A few minutes later, Angel divided up the eggs he'd cook, two larger helpings onto plain white dishes for him and Buffy and two smaller servings onto the little plastic dishes they reserved for the kids. Those were the unbreakable kind with pictures of Disney characters or dinosaurs.

The ex-undead wolfed down his breakfast, swallowing down buttered toast and bacon with every mouthful of egg.

Buffy shook her head fondly at her husband, rolling her eyes at his ferocious appetite while she made an egg sandwich out of her toast.

Katie was more interested in mashing her serving between her fingers and Liam worked hard to deep condition his hair with his eggs before actually eating them.

…

When breakfast was eaten they cleaned the kids up and set them loose to play in the living room, Angel flopped down onto the couch to watch them as Buffy went to take a shower and dress for the day.

For the better part of an hour, he really did just watch them. He was fascinated with his offspring; how they played, the things they did, how their little minds worked to put the square block in the square hole.

Scooting down onto the floor he sat with them, Liam instantly walking over like a drunk man to collapse down in his father's lap.

"Hey Buddy, what do you have here?" Angel asked as his son stuck a bright blue toy truck in his face.

"Fuck!" Liam yelled.

All the color drained from Angel's face.

Personally, he wasn't adverse to harsh language, he had been a murderous vampire for a good portion of his existence, so in reality, 'bad words' didn't have much of an effect when you considered his previous habit of slaughtering humans by the droves.

But if Buffy heard her baby boy cursing, he was a dead man...again.

"What?" Angel blurted out, startled at his boy's choice of vocabulary.

Liam held the toy up again and loudly pointed out "Fuck!"

Relief washed over the partial demon, Liam wasn't cursing at him less than a week after his second birthday, he was just mispronouncing the word truck.

"Oh, you mean Truck. TR-uck." He sounded the first two letters out so the boy could hear the difference.

He figured he should fix that mistake quick before someone got the wrong idea.

"Tr-uck." Liam parroted back, repeating the word as he 'drove' the little blue vehicle over his father's lap then onto the carpet.

Making little vroom, vroom noises the toddler crawled away with his truck, over to the little rug with a birds-eye picture view of a city, streets and parking areas specially designed for little cars to be driven on. Buffy had spotted the item a few weeks before Liam's birthday and Angel had agreed it would make a wonderful gift for the blooming car fanatic.

"Daddy, it broke!" His almost three year old daughter cried as she ran over to her father with a plastic doll, the leg having popped off when she pulled too hard while slipping on a stylish pair of jeans.

Smiling at her pout, which was identical to her mother's, he pulled her down into his lap and kissed her temple. "Its ok sweetheart, let me see, I'll try and fix it."

She pushed the doll into his hands and watched him work with a look of anxious worry akin to someone watching surgery performed on a loved one.

Angel easily popped the limb back into place but made a mental note to replace the doll with something more sturdy in-case more small chocking hazard pieces fell off where Liam could find them.

They learned after finding a small lego in his diaper that nothing was safe from his mouth.

Once, the little boy snagged then shoved a large piece of watermelon in his mouth while Buffy was wetting a washcloth to clean his face. She tried to pull the piece out, but he'd gotten it lodged in his throat. Angel rushed over as she screamed his name, full panic in swing as their son turned blue from oxygen deprivation. A freaked Angel gave him a few hard whacks on the back and Liam managed to spit the piece out.

They hadn't had any issues like that with Katie, she'd been more into shredding and breaking anything she got her little hands on, but not so much eating things she shouldn't.

Seemed she was still in the 'break it' phase of her development.

A big smile lit her face while Angel handed her back the fixed toy. "All better."

"Thanks daddy!" She cheered, giving his an exuberant hug and kiss, then rushing back to the small dollhouse that come with the doll to continue playing.

Buffy appeared a short time later, dressed with hair and makeup in place for the day. "They behaving?" She asked as she stood behind her still sitting on the floor husband, resting her hands on his shoulders and bending down to press a kiss to the top of his head.

"So far." He grinned.

She stepped back so he could stand.

"Leave me any hot water?" He asked once his feet were under him.

"Maybe." She answered back with a smirk.

"You better have." He warned and headed for the shower, but a moment later he turned to her and added, "Watch Katie's doll, the pieces can pull off."

She nodded that she understood about the chocking hazard and he vanished up the stairs.

…

Buffy plopped herself down where Angel had been and resumed his 'guard' over the kids.

As she watched them play she found herself thinking again about having another baby, both the pros and cons bouncing around in her mind. It was true she and Angel were taking no actions to prevent pregnancy, but thus so far those 'reckless' actions had not resulted in one.

Buffy found part of her was thankful for it.

She did want another, but she was still conflicted about if she wanted one 'right now'. Her oldest was not even three yet, her youngest just turned two. Buffy wasn't sure if adding another baby to that would result in utter chaos.

She knew they could make it work if it did happen; Angel was almost scary when it came to how seriously he took being a father. If anyone deserved the 'super dad' award, it would be him.

She knew he wanted more kids, and she really did want to give him that. She loved feeling a part of him inside of her, their love taking a physical form and growing within her body, the feeling was incredible.

However she couldn't say the same thing for the other side of the spectrum; Mood swings, weird cravings, swollen everything, mini feet dancing on her bladder, and topping it all off, stretch mark from growing to the size of a small house.

Although Angel never seemed to mind the negatives, in fact she knew her growing belly was a huge turn on for him…and she did enjoy the pampering.

Of course she hadn't forgotten her previous threat to him when she found out Liam was residing in her womb, _"Just so you know…" she said sleepily, "If you ever get me pregnant with one still in diapers again…I've giving you an at home vasectomy."_

She also knew he hadn't forgotten.

In the back of her mind, a decision was made, not entirely consciously but finalized.

_'When Liam's out of diapers, I'll be ready to have another baby.'_

Hearing the water turn on upstairs, she shook her head and focused on the two living expressions of love right in front of her.

Liam and Katie were engaged in a serious play-a-thon between her dolls and his cars.

Picking up one of each toy, Buffy scooted over and joined them.

…

The day progressed like any other, they entertained the kids and in turn, themselves. Buffy put lunch together, consisting of cold meat sandwiches, chips and fruit.

Angel really didn't trust her anywhere near the stove or oven.

After they ate, Angel stretched out of the couch and the kids joined him for an hour long afternoon nap.

Some of his vampiric traditions still stuck around, and that one turned out to be particularly helpful in getting the kids to nap too.

During the downtime, Buffy got all her finger and toe nails filed and painted.

All-in-all, it was a very laid back Valentine's day.

…

When the nap ended, Buffy would have suggested Angel take the kids outside to build a snowman in the still nearly foot high mound of way-too-slowly-melting snow in the backyard, but at Liam and Katie's age, they most just watched Angel build it and that attention span didn't last long enough to merit the work involved with suiting them up.

So after the kids woke, and Angel quickly following when Katie accidentally kneed him in the groin when she tried to crawl out of his arms, Buffy collected the little devils and popped a movie in to entertain them…for a few minutes anyways.

After making sure her husband wasn't 'mortally wounded' from Katie's blow below the belt, she figured the house could use a good cleaning and since they weren't currently occupied with any romantic plans; wielding the mighty vacuum, Buffy the dust slayer began an age old battle between the forces of clean and the ever growing army of dust bunnies lurking around every corner.

…

By four o'clock, the house was spotless…or as spotless as a house with two toddlers residing within _can_ be considered spotless…

And Angel and the little rug rats where no where to be seen.

She knew he was still somewhere in the house, she could feel him, inside, as always.

But _exactly_ where he was wasn't part of the sensing him package. It's wasn't like she had a mini map splayed out on her mind with a little blinking light appearing on it to signify where her husband was at all times. No, it was more of a slight strengthening or weakening of the warm tingly feeling she'd come to associate with Angel as she grew closer of further from him.

So, just a general sense of direction was all she had to go on. However in this circumstance that was enough, the feeling indicated he was above her…since the house only had the two levels (excluding a mostly unused basement), it wasn't hard to surmise he was upstairs in one of the bedrooms or bathrooms.

Half way up the stairs she heard Katie giggling, or rather trying to stifle a giggle, which led to a rush of curiosity at what her husband was up to. Opening the door, her eyes settled on Katie standing in the middle of the room wearing an outfit similar to a lady bug, but instead of circles there were hearts decorating the wings. In her small hands she held a cardboard sign, written on it was 'We (Heart) Mommy'.

"Uh oh." The little girl frowned, looking as if she'd been caught doing something wrong, "Weer bussed."

"I was going to draw them and give it to you as a gift…but as Katie put it, we're busted." Angel's voice came from the joining bathroom beside her.

Turning she couldn't help but laugh as he put Liam down, the toddler teetered towards her, arms outstretched in the universal 'hold me' language of all babies. He was having trouble walking though, because a pair of little wings on his back was throwing off his fair-under-ideal-conditions balance. A sash wrapped across his chest written in fancy scroll letters identified him as cupid.

"Oh, how adorable." She cooed, kissing his cheek as she scooped him up.

The small blond boy promptly ignored the affection as he happily chewed on the red foam arrow he'd been holding.

She turned to her daughter and wrapped an arm around her, "You too my little Love Bug."

"Yucky!" Katie dodged a kiss, scurrying off out of her mother's clutches.

Buffy rolled her eyes, silently hating whoever taught her little girl that.

"Well if she doesn't want it, I'll take it." Angel grinned, stepping in and stealing the kiss from his wife that his daughter didn't want…however the version he received contained far more adult content than the original.

Their lips may have stayed together for far longer that they did if Liam, still in Buffy's arms, hadn't of been pressed between then and very vocal about not enjoying it much.

He did like to be held, but wasn't big on being squished.

"Ok, ok." Angel surrendered, backing off before Liam wailed again.

For a normally taciturn kid, he had a hell of a pair of lungs when need be.

"You're still drawing me that picture, right?" Buffy asked when she noticed Angel was putting away his sketchpad.

He turned towards her, "But you already know…that kinda ruins the whole surprise factor."

"Yeah, so what?" She asked, "That just mean I expect it now."

Shaking his head fondly, he took the pad back out of his drawer, "Ok, well since you know about it now, you're going to be in the picture too."

It took a while to get the kids in position and smiling, but once they were it didn't take long for him to sketch out the image, but even done quickly, the portrait was immaculate.

Walking past her with a fusing Liam under his arm, he bent and whispered huskily into his wife's ear, "How about later tonight you put your corset on and pose for me alone?" Follow by a brief butt pinch.

A shocked expression whisked across her face, a moment later replaced with a devilish smile, "We'll see."

Almost the second it was done, Buffy stole the picture from him, already eager to frame it in one of the empty frames she'd bought for just such an occasion.

While she went off to dig one out of the closet, he occupied himself with getting the kids changed back into their footie Pajamas.

…

When dinner time rolled around, in lieu of cooking, they ordered take-out from an Italian restaurant down the street. While Angel went to pick it up, Buffy took his Valentine's day present out from her closet and set everything up for after dinner.

They had made plans to exchange home made gifts that year, as part of a rotating idea to keep things fresh and new instead of falling into a routine of buying generic store issued presents.

Although Buffy had purchased the massage oils she'd slipped from her closet, she figured the long luxurious massage she planned to give Angel would be completely considered homemade, besides, the sketchpad and pencils Angel used to draw her present were store bought, so she figured it evened out.

…

Since it was getting late, they fed the kids first, knowing the two little terrors would only make a mess and need baths after slurping down spaghetti.

They weren't disappointed.

For once, Katie actually consumed more food than she either tossed across the floor or mashed into paste on her booster seat tray top, but still left the floor looking like a crime scene.

Liam managed to dye his hair red as usual, but did eventually eat a majority of his portion.

Angel and Buffy spent a good hour just scrubbing clean the kitchen and then the kids in the tub, then tucking the tired tykes in for bed.

Liam was asleep in her arms as Buffy laid him down in his crib, his thumb finding its way into his mouth as he sucked securely on it. She smiled down at him, bending to place a light kiss on her baby boy's cheek.

Buffy stood watching him a moment, just basking in the sight of her youngest child. He looked so much like her, same nose, same eyes and hair color, but personality wise, he was so totally his dad, although when he had one of his 'terrible twos' meltdown, he acted more like a crazed hell demon.

"You're going to be such the little heart-breaker when you grow up." She whispered, pushing his needing to be trimmed bangs out of his closed eyes and observing his will-be-when-he's-older-incredibly-handsome face.

Remembering she had another beautiful man in which to gaze at, (and do more than just gaze at) she tucked her boy in and quietly shut his door.

She found Angel in Katie's room, reading to the tired-but-too-stubborn-to-sleep little girl. Standing in the doorway, she watched them as she had watched Liam, just silently observing what she had.

Katie was curled up on her father's lap as he read her one of the many books he'd stocked her little bookshelf with. He didn't really need the book itself, it was more for Katie to look at the pictures. He knew the words by heart to almost every book on the shelf.

It wasn't inconceivable for a man who could remember what he did in 1793 to have memorized his children's favorite stories.

The nearly three year old's big brown eyes blinked slowly as they grew heavier with every passing word her father spoke, his low voice drawing her down to sleep's clutches.

Angel smiled affectionately as he felt her heart rate slow and her breathing deepen as she fell asleep in his arms.

"Goodnight sweetheart." He whispered while kissing her forehead and tucking her in with the little stuffed pig she never slept without.

He felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist as he stood.

"Would I be a terrible mother if I wished they came with remotes so we could turn them off like the TV?" Buffy asked into her husband's back.

He chucked a little, "No, but if you invented it, we'd be filthy rich."

She leaned into him, snuggling up against his side so they could both look down at Katie as the tot slept as soundly as a rock.

His left arm wrapped around her shoulders as they stood there, just basking in being proud parents, especially when said children were sleeping.

A growl from Angel's stomach brought them back to the fact they hadn't eaten dinner yet, together they exited the room and headed down to enjoy a little adult-style eating, involving real plates and silverware instead of paper plates and fingers.

To 'set the mood', Buffy lit a candle and placed it in the center of the table as he heated the cooling dinner up in the microwave.

Feeling a little risque, she poured them each a glass of red wine.

Neither were big on the alcohol, it tended to cause them more problems in the long run, (like Angel's bachelor party and Willow and Oz's wedding) but occasionally they'd share a little wine or have a few drinks if they went out or to a party.

"This is nice…and quiet…really quiet." Buffy sighed as she twirled her pasta onto her fork.

"Want me to throw my garlic bread at you and rub sauce in my hair?" Angel asked jokingly.

"No, then I'd have to give you a bath and put you to bed." She smiled, thinking of the kids.

He grinned something wolfish, "I might not be opposed to that idea." His thoughts defiantly pointed towards a more mature audience.

She rolled her eyes at him, and then seemed to rethink the options there.

When they finished dinner and cleaned up, Buffy took Angel's hand in hers and not quite gently led him towards the stairs and into their bedroom, her eyes promising he'd get something he'd like.

He followed eagerly. "Are you dessert?" He asked, as they entered the bedroom.

"Strip." She ordered as she shut the door behind him, not answering his question.

He turned towards his wife, a little shocked but incredibly turned on by the command.

The Angelus in him could be very bullheaded towards people barking direct orders at him, but under these circumstances, he offered no resistance.

"Yes Ma'am" He responded, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Light those when you're done." She said in the same almost drill sergeant voice, pointing towards the candles she'd set out earlier around the room.

"And what will you be doing?" He asked inquisitively.

"Getting changed." She replied cryptically, disappearing into the adjoining bathroom.

Curious but intrigued, he did as he was asked, eager to see what was on her mind.

When all the candles were lit, he stood waiting in the center of the room.

The bathroom door opened to reveal Buffy in her leather under bust corset, as he'd hoped she would be.

She stood in the doorway a moment, just admiring the image of her nude and borderline aroused husband. _'God is that man beautiful.'_

He was thinking the same thing about her.

The heavy but comfortable silence was broken by Buffy's, "On the bed."

Slowly while still facing her, he backed towards the bed, his eyes never wavering from hers.

She advanced at the same pace.

He reached the bed before she reached him and with perfect grace he slid onto it.

She reached the bed a moment later and bent forward to whisper, "On your stomach."

He cocked an eyebrow at that, but obliged, if not a bit uncomfortably with his slight arousal getting in the way.

A second later he felt her slip up onto the bed with him, crawling up his legs to straddle his thighs.

"You know this position is far for effecting if I'm on my back." He suggested into the mattress.

"I beg to differ." She answered while running her fingers up his back.

She bent and placed a soft kiss over his heart, then squeezed the massage oil, he hadn't even seen with the distraction of her exposed cleavage, onto the bare flesh of his tattooed back before her.

His sensitive noise picked up on the jasmine and vanilla scent instantly, the smells helping relax him as Buffy's hands glided over his now smooth and oily skin.

"Ok, not what I thought when you first brought me up here…but I think I can manage." He mumbled, already thoroughly enjoying the sensations his wife's fingers were trailing up and down his back and shoulders.

Almost the second she started massaging his back, she felt him relaxing into her touch. She knew from past experiences to not massage_ too_ well, or else he'd be sound asleep on her in no time.

"You like that?" She asked into his ear while she leaned down and worked a particularly hard knot from his shoulder.

A grunt of pleasure was his only reply.

Before he could nod off, she leaned in and peppered the back of his neck with a few feather light kisses, promising more to come in the near future.

Working steadily, she rubbed down his back then traveled down towards his butt and thighs.

He tried to sit up and roll over, but she shoved him back down.

"This is a full body massage, so be patient or you get nothing." She warned him.

His thoughts to further the interaction onto a more sensual path were rendered null as she threw a sheet over him to keep the chill factor down and slowly began to massage him all around, starting where she left off and traveling down to his feet, deliberately avoiding the one area that was getting very hungry for Buffy's touch.

Surrendering, he laid still and endured the beautiful torture of being touched but not able to touch in return.

She focused on the small portion of his body that was exposed from the sheet, then covered that area and moved to the next, slowly but surly building up his arousal for her.

She did everything by the book, professionally working his muscles free of the stress and tension of life with children and impending demon attacks. Only when she finished the foot rub did she allow him to roll onto his back.

_ 'At least if he's turned on he wont fall asleep on me.'_ She thought with a devilish grin.

To Angel is seemed to take forever to get to his chest again, her fingers making magic everywhere they traveled. The only thing keeping him from just grabbing her and making love to her on the spot was the fact he was really enjoying the massage.

'_I think she's turning me into butter._' He though lazily, feeling his body releasing all the buildup of stress and tension from the last few months.

He was all groaned out and half-asleep again when she finally finished, and realized she'd need to take some quick actions before he was out for the night.

_'Oops, too much.'_ She thought, seeing his eyes glassy and half lidded.

"You are not falling asleep on me." She ordered, pulling the sheet off him and replacing it with herself.

His lips responded quickly enough when she enticed him back to wakefulness with a kiss.

It took only moments for his body to remember the steady buildup of sexual tension she'd been stewing as all the other tension was being released.

With a yelp and a giggle, she found herself on her back, Angel hungrily nipping at her neck and ear.

Her oily fingers interlocked into his hair as his tongue invaded between her lips, conquering her mouth as his own.

Eventually he pulled away so they could both draw in much needed breaths, but he didn't stay still for even a moment. His lips traveled down her neck and went right for the ample cleavage just begging to be touched.

Buffy was losing track of time and thought as he moved around her body, taking what he wanted and slowly moving south to where he really wanted to be.

His name escaped from between her lips in a low moan as he disappeared under the sheets, his lips reacquainting with those not on her mouth.

It was almost ten minutes and no orgasm later that she realized something, he was taking his sweet time on purpose.

He was keeping her riding the thin line between pleasure and ecstasy but not letting her topple over into oblivion.

"Angel!" She whined out, wanting, no _needing_ him to finish her.

His sensitive ears instantly picked up on the need in her voice, exactly what he'd been holding out for.

A moment later his lips, still hot and wet from her depths where hovering above her mouth. "Yes, ghrá?"

"Don't '_yes, my love'_ me, inside…now." She commanded breathlessly, using some slayer strength to roll him onto his back and straddling his hips.

Before he could reply, she was lowering herself onto him, feeling the rush of tingles and mini explosions of pleasure from her oversensitive nerve ending caused by his earlier ministrations.

Yanking a pillow behind him, he sat up, wrapping his arms around her and helping guide her as she begin to steadily move against him.

Their lips met again as her arms snaked around his neck, fingers curing into his hair and arms squeezing him tight.

It took little time before both of their bodies were tumbling over the edge they'd been leaning over, the powerful orgasm consuming them both.

…

When Buffy floated back to the land of the conscious, she found her head pillowed on her husbands shoulder and her body still wound tightly with his.

She had thought at first Angel was asleep, but something told her he wasn't.

"Angel?" She called quietly, just in-case she was wrong.

She couldn't see him very well in the darkness of the room at night, but she felt him turn his head and place a kiss on her forehead. His fingers brushed along her scalp, drawing back a few strands of wild blond that had fallen across her face during their earlier movements.

That rash jealousy of his vampire funded night vision reared its ugly head again, slightly angering her that he could see her but she couldn't see him. Her own night vision was well above average for humans, being a slayer afforded her that, but his had been built up for over 300 years.

"Something wrong, Lover?" He asked, his other hand drawing slow and steady circles on her back.

He didn't usually call her that old nickname, unless he was mad or in this case, half-asleep, but sometimes the old demon personality would pop up.

Buffy could honestly say she didn't mind the reminders from his soulless Angelus days anymore, that particular being was long dead, even in the demon itself remained, the heartless bastard that he'd been no longer did. Now he was just Angel, a mix of the soul and demon personalities, but still her Angel, always.

"Nothing." She whispered, mildly hoping he'd just fall asleep. She had wanted to talk to him for a month now, but suddenly she really didn't want to.

"That's not your nothing face." He replied back, mildly rubbing in that supreme night vision again.

"I…can we just go to sleep? I'm tired, I don't want to talk right now…" She said quickly, burying her face back into his shoulder so he couldn't read her expression and hoping he'd let it drop.

For a full minute, she thought he did, until he asked, "Is this about the pregnancy tests?"

He felt her stiffen against him and got his answer.

Instantly she sat up and pulled away, "How did you know? Are you snooping on me?" She asked, angry at him.

Calmly he looked to her, "Babe, I take the trash out…I saw the tests when I emptied the barrel."

He could see the flair of embarrassed red in her cheeks. "Oh…right…"

"Sometimes these things take time..." He began, thinking she was upset she wasn't pregnant yet.

"It's not that." She admitted, feeling the words just rushing out into the darkness towards where she knew he was sitting. "It's that…I'm sad when it comes back negative because I feel like there is something wrong with me…but I'm glad too. I do want more children with you but…"

"Just not right now?" He offered.

Taking a deep breath she nodded her head, "Yeah, I just…I don't think I'm ready yet."

He sighed and yanked her against him, rubbing a hand down her back, "Buffy, there is nothing wrong with you and not being ready is nothing to be ashamed of. Having a child isn't something you just wake up and decide to do."

"You do remember our two children weren't planned, right?" She threw out there.

He gave her a look but quickly realized she couldn't see it, then added, "The point is, if you want to wait, I'm fine with that. I'll buy condoms tomorrow."

"You don't have to do that…" She tried, knowing he never really said it, but he hated condoms with a passion.

"Yes, I do." He ran his fingers down her back again, helping to loosen the tension she'd acquired during their talk, "Buffy, you know I don't want to do anything to you that you don't want done, that includes children. If you're not ready to carry a child, then I have no desire to help make one. That being said, there is no way in Hell I'm abstaining from sex, so if my options are condoms to nothing…I'm taking the condoms."

She gave him a weak smile, his demon side very much active on the last sentence.

"What if I don't want to make love to you until I'm ready for a child?" She asked in a serious tone but only to get an answer.

Even in the darkness, she could almost see him blanch.

She had no intentions of stopping sex, making love to her husband and raising their kids was what made life worth living.

"Ah…I…um…well…uhh…" He stuttered, at a loss for words.

She laughed but felt guilty for toying with him. "Ok, cruel joke. I'm sorry, couldn't resist." She said quickly to stem the 'bleeding wound'.

"Which part?" He asked seriously.

She quickly sobered, telling him truthfully, "I thought I was, but I'm not ready for a baby." She wrapped her arms around his neck, "But I'm always ready for you." She finished by kissing him an apology which he quickly accepted.

That being said, he laid back down and she snuggled back up against him.

After a moment she muttered, "Some romantic Valentine's Day huh?" Meaning the talk they just had.

"Technically it's the 15th now, so doesn't count." He answered.

She nodded against him, glad their February 14 had ended on a good note.

He was almost asleep when a thought popped into his head, "Buffy?"

"Yeah?" She asked against is chest.

"What if…you get pregnant from tonight?" It was a _conceivable _point, they were just intimate and the last few days saw some action between them as well.

After a long _pregnant_ silence she answered, "Then I'll have 9 months to get ready."

"Would you really be OK with that?" He asked, wanting to know how she actually felt.

She turned her face and looking up at his shadowy features, "I'd have to be. No force on this Earth would ever make me destroy a life we created together."

The corners of his lips twitched into a smile at that. Kissing her temple, he settled back down and together they finally found sleep for the night.

...

More Stories will follow.


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